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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Listen, Bailey.
00:00:28We've been friends for a long time, since we were kids.
00:00:32But I'm in high school now, and there's something I need to tell you.
00:00:36And before you say anything, please just hear me out.
00:00:42I like you.
00:00:43I've liked you for a long time.
00:00:45I don't know if you feel the same, but I don't want to dance around anymore.
00:00:56That was nice.
00:00:57I'm good at this.
00:00:58I am too.
00:00:59Thanks.
00:01:00I guess it just comes naturally.
00:01:01Ow!
00:01:02Don't you knock?
00:01:03What the fuck are you doing?
00:01:04Nothing!
00:01:05I was...
00:01:06Popping is it!
00:01:07Get out!
00:01:08Oh.
00:01:09For a second there, I thought you might have been fucking the door.
00:01:10Can you leave?
00:01:11Mom wanted me to make sure you're up.
00:01:12Clearly, you are.
00:01:13Get out!
00:01:14High school's gonna be a mess.
00:01:15I know.
00:01:16I know.
00:01:17I know.
00:01:18I know.
00:01:19I know.
00:01:20I know.
00:01:21I know.
00:01:22I know.
00:01:23I know.
00:01:24I know.
00:01:25High school's gonna murder you.
00:01:33Benj!
00:01:34Breakfast!
00:01:37Alyssa, will you put that away?
00:01:39The whole point of getting the nose job was to fixate on it less than before.
00:01:43It's called confidence.
00:01:44You're so confident you changed your face.
00:01:46Well, I just didn't identify with my birth nose, and I had the courage to activate my true self.
00:01:50So...
00:01:51Wow.
00:01:52That's very brave.
00:01:53Yeah, that and your girlfriend dumped you for Joni Hudson.
00:01:56Do not speak that whore's name in my presence.
00:01:58Okay, let's all just take a big, deep breath.
00:02:01Good morning.
00:02:02Eat up.
00:02:06Yeah, I'm good.
00:02:07One blueberry does not make a meal.
00:02:08Bailey and I are getting smoothies.
00:02:10Bailey's coming over?
00:02:11Bailey's coming over?
00:02:12Yeah, in about 30 seconds, so try not to blast her through the wall with a fire hose of cum.
00:02:16Jesus!
00:02:17Alyssa Gross, can you not be disgusting, please?
00:02:20Good morning.
00:02:23Good morning.
00:02:30What's up, Bailey?
00:02:31Hey, fudgy boy.
00:02:33Good morning, Bailey.
00:02:34Happy first day of school.
00:02:35I don't understand why I can't just drive to school with you guys.
00:02:37We have first period free.
00:02:39Yeah, and, like, your whole vibe just, like, sucks.
00:02:41Don't listen to them.
00:02:42You and your carpool are going to have a great time.
00:02:44Is he going to bring you home after musical theater?
00:02:46I'm not doing that anymore.
00:02:47It's lame.
00:02:48What?
00:02:49Lame?
00:02:50What?
00:02:51No, you're so talented you can't give that up.
00:02:52Oh, my God.
00:02:53Remember when you dressed up as Stevie Wonder and he would sing for us?
00:02:55I was 10.
00:02:56That was a million years ago.
00:02:57Oh, I remember.
00:02:58He was so good.
00:02:59Good?
00:03:00He was amazing.
00:03:01Wait, who's your carpool?
00:03:03Some senior that the school assigned to me.
00:03:05Adam Rubins or something.
00:03:09Rubin?
00:03:10What, is he, like, really cool?
00:03:11No.
00:03:12He's, like, the worst person in the entire school.
00:03:14Seriously?
00:03:15That kid's terrible.
00:03:16Okay, well, you know what that sounds like to me?
00:03:19That sounds like you could both use a friend.
00:03:20How serendipitous.
00:03:21Come on, Bailey.
00:03:22Let's go.
00:03:23Have a great day at school.
00:03:25I love you.
00:03:26I'll see you at school.
00:03:27I love you, too, Mom.
00:03:28What?
00:03:29No goodbye?
00:03:30I love you.
00:03:32I love you, too.
00:03:33You have the best day, okay?
00:03:34Mm-hmm.
00:03:35The coolest thing you can do is be yourself.
00:03:36Mm-hmm.
00:03:37Trust me.
00:03:38You go up to some kid and you look him right in the eye and say,
00:03:40hey, my name is Benj and I want to be your pal.
00:03:43Okay?
00:03:44Yeah.
00:03:45It's the eye contact that does it.
00:03:47That's confidence.
00:03:48I love you so much.
00:03:49Okay.
00:03:50Thank you.
00:03:51Please release me.
00:03:52Thank you.
00:03:53Have so much fun with your carpool.
00:03:54Wear your seatbelts.
00:03:55This day's for you.
00:03:56You make it yours.
00:04:03What the hell is this guy?
00:04:16Hey, it's not Benj.
00:04:17Hurry up.
00:04:18We're late.
00:04:30Hold this.
00:04:33But don't eat it.
00:04:34I'm not going to eat it.
00:04:35I'm fucking ready, man.
00:04:37I'm like a fucking lunch cart, bro.
00:04:47Are you okay, man?
00:04:49Adam?
00:04:50Hello?
00:04:52Light screen.
00:04:54Dude, wake up.
00:04:55The light screen.
00:04:56Fucking idiot.
00:04:57Ruby!
00:05:02Did you take a bite of this?
00:05:03No.
00:05:12Freshman shit in the front.
00:05:13Who the fuck made that rule?
00:05:15Just let it go.
00:05:16I already got the runs.
00:05:19Dude, don't tell me that's a lunch box.
00:05:22What's wrong with my lunch box?
00:05:23Are you trying to get us killed?
00:05:25Just get rid of it.
00:05:26Hold on.
00:05:27Let's see what we got.
00:05:28You know, my mom went all out on day one.
00:05:31What the...
00:05:35She ate my sandwich.
00:05:37Who?
00:05:38Dennis, her stupid-ass boyfriend.
00:05:40Your mom's still with that scumbag?
00:05:42Yes, and he's ruining my life.
00:05:44The other night, he woke me up to ask if he could borrow a condom.
00:05:47Man, you put up with that shit.
00:05:49What am I supposed to do?
00:05:50I don't know.
00:05:51Slap him.
00:05:52Ask his toothbrush.
00:05:53Just do something.
00:05:54No, sometimes the best thing to do is nothing.
00:05:57When you get attacked by an animal, you play dead.
00:06:00I'm not worried that way.
00:06:02When someone disrespects me, I show them where the line is.
00:06:09Gang, gang, y'all.
00:06:11Happy first day of school.
00:06:13The sun is shining, the birds are chirping,
00:06:15and your boy Cush is a-breaking.
00:06:17The fuck you just say?
00:06:19Hi.
00:06:20You're not Cush.
00:06:21That's my name.
00:06:22Look, we're both Cushanis.
00:06:24Can't we share it?
00:06:25Bro, you want to rep the Cush brand?
00:06:27You got to live up to it.
00:06:29Until then, I hear anyone call you Cush, I'ma throttle you.
00:06:33Okay.
00:06:35Jeez.
00:06:37Can I ask what the brand is?
00:06:43Fucking legendary king shit, dawg.
00:06:46Sick.
00:06:47How'd you get that started?
00:06:48I ripped the senior's ear off before the first bell rang.
00:06:51Jesus.
00:06:52Can't you just tell people I'm your cool younger bro?
00:06:55Nah, homie.
00:06:56You got to forge your own path.
00:06:58I'm trying to build your character.
00:07:01Oh.
00:07:03Thanks.
00:07:04But figure that shit out fast.
00:07:06Like this week, all right?
00:07:08Before everyone realizes what a bitch you are.
00:07:21Out.
00:07:23Are we not driving you?
00:07:24I am.
00:07:25Not with some bitch-ass freshman in the car.
00:07:28I'm only doing this to get out of detention.
00:07:30Let's go, I'm late.
00:07:33Nice kid.
00:07:43Move, pussies!
00:07:44What the fuck, man?
00:07:47I have a bad feeling about this.
00:07:49Gentlemen, ready for the best year of our lives?
00:07:52It was almost the last year of our lives.
00:07:54You fucking see that shit?
00:07:55Ancient history.
00:07:56Once that bell rings, we're in high school.
00:07:58You know what that means?
00:07:59New teachers?
00:08:00More pressure from our parents to succeed?
00:08:02Pubes?
00:08:03No, it means we have a fresh start.
00:08:04Anything is possible.
00:08:06Check it out.
00:08:07Here comes Koosh.
00:08:20Do I still have to hang out with him?
00:08:21Come on, he's our friend.
00:08:22He's an asshole.
00:08:23Well, well, if it isn't the dick and his two weird little balls.
00:08:26Yo.
00:08:27Hey, Koosh.
00:08:28Oh, Koosh.
00:08:29Don't forget, I'm serious.
00:08:32You guys can't call me Koosh anymore.
00:08:34My brother says I haven't earned that name yet.
00:08:36He's going to pound me every time he hears it.
00:08:38What did I just call you?
00:08:39My real name, I guess.
00:08:40Danga?
00:08:41It's Donna, ass.
00:08:46Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, fuckos.
00:08:47You can be chugging my hog when you hear what I have in store for you.
00:08:50My parents are going out of town this weekend,
00:08:52and yours truly is throwing a massive rager.
00:08:55Five kegs, sick-ass DJ, insane dong-to-puss ratio.
00:08:58Shit's going to be fucking lit.
00:09:00How are you going to pull it off?
00:09:01We're your only friends.
00:09:03My brother's helping.
00:09:04Oh, so Kayvon is throwing a party.
00:09:07We both are.
00:09:08That sounds terrifying.
00:09:10Are freshmen even allowed?
00:09:11Fuck no, but I'm VIP.
00:09:13You clits are my three plus ones.
00:09:15That's plus three, you fucking idiot.
00:09:17Two and a half, we count your shrimpy ass.
00:09:19Fuck you, man.
00:09:21Hey, it's perfect.
00:09:22That's where I'll make my move on Bailey.
00:09:24Oh, man.
00:09:26What happened to starting fresh?
00:09:28Yeah, Bailey's great, but she's a sophomore, man.
00:09:30It's never going to happen.
00:09:32Something happened this summer, and I think I got a real shot.
00:09:36One night I couldn't sleep,
00:09:38so I went downstairs to make a snack.
00:09:41Hi there.
00:09:42You fucked her.
00:09:43What? No.
00:09:44Go on, hear the story or not.
00:09:45Sorry, I just got a little excited, okay?
00:09:47Go on.
00:09:48Okay, I was pretty surprised, but I played it cool.
00:09:51Bailey, hey, what are you doing up?
00:09:54Your sister snores like a St. Bernard.
00:09:56She should really see her plastic surgeon.
00:09:58Totally.
00:10:00You know, I love dogs.
00:10:07You mind if I hang out?
00:10:10It's your house.
00:10:15So we start talking, and it's going great.
00:10:18I mean, the conversation's going great.
00:10:20I mean, the conversation's flowing.
00:10:22We're giggling and shit.
00:10:24I don't even know what I said, but I was in the zone.
00:10:27You know, I don't completely hate hanging out with you.
00:10:31Wow, that's... thank you.
00:10:33I mean, let's not make a public display of it.
00:10:35Like, don't talk to me at school or anything.
00:10:36Yeah, yeah, yeah, I won't, for sure.
00:10:39I'm fucking with you.
00:10:40You can talk to me.
00:10:42We'll grab a beer sometime.
00:10:43We were firing on all cylinders.
00:10:47But then...
00:10:51Whoa!
00:10:53Okay, now we're getting somewhere.
00:10:55Yeah, this is where the story should have started.
00:10:57All right, so what happened next, man?
00:10:59Did you make a move? Did you touch it?
00:11:02I froze up.
00:11:03And she never noticed?
00:11:04She did eventually.
00:11:08Has my boob been out this whole time?
00:11:11Whose boob?
00:11:12My boob.
00:11:15I'm sorry, repeat the question.
00:11:16What the fuck? Why didn't you say anything?
00:11:17I'm sorry, I just didn't want the conversation to end.
00:11:21Nice recovery.
00:11:22Then what happened?
00:11:24Well, nothing.
00:11:26She went to bed.
00:11:28That's it?
00:11:29You're kidding me, right?
00:11:31Wait, I'm confused.
00:11:33How does that story make you think you have a chance?
00:11:36You had to be there.
00:11:38For the first time, she saw me as a man.
00:11:40An adult man.
00:11:42One to ten me on her nipple.
00:11:44Twelve.
00:11:45Twelve.
00:11:58Holy shit, peep this one.
00:12:00Hey, you, little man.
00:12:02Me?
00:12:03Bro, how old are you?
00:12:05Fifteen.
00:12:06Fuck off, months or years.
00:12:08Bro, you are crazy looking.
00:12:10Your name is fetus now.
00:12:12Oh, I don't know about that.
00:12:14I do.
00:12:15Later, fetus.
00:12:20Mamma mia, that one looks like a meatball.
00:12:22Holy shit, you.
00:12:23You, get over here.
00:12:25Fuck, game over.
00:12:26I'm fetus for the next four years.
00:12:28I'm the oldest person in our grade and I look like fucking Thumbelina.
00:12:32To be fair, she was adorable.
00:12:34Whoa.
00:12:40What the fuck is that?
00:12:42That's Katrina Orellana.
00:12:44Dopest chick in school.
00:12:45Half a million dollars.
00:12:46Max Solon's brother cheated on her.
00:12:48And she iced him out so bad, he had to transfer schools.
00:12:53I'm not ready for something like that.
00:12:54I am.
00:12:55She'll be at my party.
00:12:56Your brother's party.
00:12:58Fuck off, Eddie.
00:12:59It's mine too.
00:13:01Okay, well, I'll see you guys later.
00:13:02I'm going to class.
00:13:08Planko, my brother from another mother.
00:13:13It's Studebaker.
00:13:14Yeah, listen, last time you said it was late notice,
00:13:17so this time I'm getting in front of that bitch.
00:13:19Friday night, my place, poker with the boys.
00:13:21Are you in?
00:13:24I can pivot, bro.
00:13:25Saturday night.
00:13:26Let's do it Saturday night.
00:13:27Problem solved.
00:13:32Yeah, look, man, I'm going to level with you, okay?
00:13:34Allie and I, we broke up.
00:13:36No, it's okay.
00:13:37Don't apologize.
00:13:38It's all good, you know.
00:13:39It's better, actually.
00:13:40It's going to be better.
00:13:41All right.
00:13:42Be good, okay?
00:13:44Talk soon.
00:13:45All right, brother.
00:13:46Later.
00:13:54Muldoon!
00:13:55Your wife still got you by the balls?
00:13:59I'm sorry, buddy.
00:14:00I thought she was in remission.
00:14:08All right, people.
00:14:09Let's get after it.
00:14:10I'm Mr. Studebaker.
00:14:12Welcome to Intro to Chem.
00:14:14Chem, short for chemistry.
00:14:15Intro, short for introduction.
00:14:17If I've lost you already, well, then you're fucked.
00:14:21My dude.
00:14:23Tell me your name.
00:14:25Benj.
00:14:26Benj, with a J?
00:14:27All right, well, hit the J, bro.
00:14:28Let him know.
00:14:30Can you tell me what the chemical formula for water is, Benj?
00:14:33H2O.
00:14:34Whoa!
00:14:35Genius alert.
00:14:36Can anybody tell me what would happen
00:14:39if I took some of this H2O
00:14:42and mixed it
00:14:43with a little bit of hydrogen peroxide
00:14:45and some garden variety dish soap?
00:14:47Anybody?
00:14:48No?
00:14:49Well, I guess we're just going to have to find out.
00:14:51Look out!
00:14:56Huh.
00:14:57That's weird.
00:14:58Why don't we add a little potassium iodide
00:15:01just to see what happens?
00:15:03Whoa!
00:15:04Whoa!
00:15:07All right.
00:15:08Listen, all I ask is that you be on time,
00:15:11be engaged,
00:15:13and if the entire class can maintain a B average,
00:15:16I'll teach you how to make a nuclear bomb.
00:15:19All right, I'm kidding.
00:15:20But I will teach you how to make a Drano bomb.
00:15:22That way you can blow up mailboxes and, you know, shit like that.
00:15:26Are we making a stop?
00:15:28Uh, I gotta do something.
00:15:31Dope.
00:15:34I just have a lot of homework to do, so...
00:15:36Well, the sooner you shut up,
00:15:38the sooner you'll get to your precious homework.
00:15:40I don't see how that makes sense.
00:15:42Well, it does.
00:15:43It does.
00:15:44It does.
00:15:45It does.
00:15:46It does.
00:15:47It does.
00:15:48It does.
00:15:49It does.
00:15:50It does.
00:15:51It does.
00:15:52It does.
00:15:53It does.
00:15:54I don't see how that makes sense.
00:15:57Just shut up.
00:15:58Okay.
00:16:01Hey, Ned.
00:16:02What's that?
00:16:03Vitamin D.
00:16:04I'm selling it.
00:16:05Can't you buy that at, like, Whole Foods or something?
00:16:07Well, you could, but I tell people it's ecstasy, dummy.
00:16:10Let's roll.
00:16:11No, no, I'm not going.
00:16:12That's illegal.
00:16:13And that's okay, but I have a lot of homework to do.
00:16:16Bro, shut up about homework, okay?
00:16:19I cannot give less of a fuck about homework.
00:16:21You know this.
00:16:22We're a carpool dog.
00:16:23You think this is going to be difficult?
00:16:25I don't know if I can do this.
00:16:28Just calm down, okay?
00:16:30All right?
00:16:31Just breathe.
00:16:32Everything will be fine.
00:16:33Are you calm?
00:16:35Yeah.
00:16:36Good.
00:16:37Now check this out.
00:16:38What the fuck is that?
00:16:40Freaking cattle prod, bro.
00:16:42Amazon Prime.
00:16:43Anything goes wrong, I'm going to light these fuckers up.
00:16:45Let's go.
00:16:46No, I'm not going.
00:16:49All right, listen, kid.
00:16:51Here's what's going to happen.
00:16:53I'm going to count to three,
00:16:55and if you're not out of this car by that time,
00:16:57I will zap you so hard you shit lightning.
00:17:00One.
00:17:11What, do these guys go to school?
00:17:13I don't even think they go to school.
00:17:14Okay, let's just make it quick, all right?
00:17:16Yeah, no shit.
00:17:17You think I want to be here all day?
00:17:21Yo.
00:17:23You got the shit?
00:17:24Asking you shall receive.
00:17:26Where should we do this?
00:17:27Right here, it's chill.
00:17:28Someone set a screen.
00:17:30Set a screen.
00:17:36Dude, look, natural.
00:17:40All right.
00:17:4130 a pill, 10 pills, 300 bucks.
00:17:44That's kind of steep, no?
00:17:45Yeah, well, you pay for quality.
00:17:47My man here is the chef.
00:17:48Only uses the freshest ingredients.
00:17:50Word?
00:17:51Shit's clean?
00:17:52Uh, yep.
00:17:54Farm fresh.
00:17:58Dope.
00:18:00Just got to test them real quick.
00:18:03Better watch out for that fentanyl.
00:18:06It's a fucking epidemic, bro.
00:18:08I should take my cousin.
00:18:09Christina?
00:18:10Yeah, man.
00:18:11Man, she was thick.
00:18:12What?
00:18:14Yo, chill, chill.
00:18:16Cops.
00:18:18Fucking pigs.
00:18:20Yeah, fuck 12, yo.
00:18:23Yeah, totally.
00:18:24We should, like, defund their asses.
00:18:26Or at least, like, reallocate some budget or something.
00:18:32Fuck it.
00:18:33We good.
00:18:34Shit's stank.
00:18:35We'll hit you up for more.
00:18:38Fuck.
00:18:39Fuck.
00:18:40Fuck.
00:18:41Fuck.
00:18:43Fuck.
00:18:46Homework time.
00:18:58Thank you, Janet.
00:18:59Looking brighter since the divorce.
00:19:01Whatever you're doing, keep it up.
00:19:03Yo, Dom.
00:19:04I saw you follow me on Spotify.
00:19:06Keep an eye out for my next playlist, huh?
00:19:08It's going to be hot.
00:19:09Yo, Stooges.
00:19:10You coming to Kushner's Park tonight?
00:19:11Why?
00:19:12So I can watch you get embarrassed in flip cup, German?
00:19:15No, seriously, though.
00:19:16You should come, all right?
00:19:17Everyone would be so stoked to see you there.
00:19:18I'll tell you what.
00:19:19Put me down as a never-going-to-happen.
00:19:20But be safe, okay?
00:19:22Gino.
00:19:23Where were you at lab today, my man?
00:19:25Just kidding.
00:19:26I'm sure you had a good excuse.
00:19:27Oh, Becca.
00:19:28Short hair don't care.
00:19:30What are you looking at?
00:19:31Nicole's Instagram?
00:19:32I can't believe she dumped me for this basic bitch.
00:19:34She's actually pretty nice.
00:19:35Okay, sorry.
00:19:36I didn't realize you guys were, like, scissor sisters.
00:19:38I'm just saying.
00:19:39I mean...
00:19:40Okay, be honest.
00:19:41Is everyone talking about my nose?
00:19:42Um, no one said anything to me.
00:19:45They definitely noticed.
00:19:46I can feel the attention.
00:19:47Damn, Alyssa.
00:19:49You're looking good.
00:19:50Don't look at me.
00:19:51You heard about my party tonight?
00:19:53I heard about your brother's party.
00:19:55It's both of ours.
00:19:56Hey.
00:19:57Why don't you take my snap?
00:19:59In case you have any trouble at the door.
00:20:00I feel like I'm done with this conversation.
00:20:03Seriously, though.
00:20:04You should definitely come.
00:20:05It'd be cool to hang since we're all in high school now.
00:20:06Yeah.
00:20:07Maybe.
00:20:08Right on.
00:20:09Right on.
00:20:10Very nice.
00:20:13Oh, my God.
00:20:14Get lost.
00:20:15Or I'll tell Bailey you don't have pubes.
00:20:16I have pubes.
00:20:17Gross.
00:20:19Anyway, I hope to see you later.
00:20:27Dude.
00:20:28We crushed that.
00:20:29You think?
00:20:30Definitely.
00:20:31She wants you.
00:20:32I am feeling really good about this party.
00:20:34I mean, it has all the ingredients of a classic meet-cute.
00:20:37What the fuck's a meet-cute?
00:20:39It's a movie thing.
00:20:40You know, when fate brings two people together in a charming and romantic way.
00:20:43But Bailey's already met you.
00:20:44She hasn't met the new me.
00:20:45All that singing and nerd shit I was into is history.
00:20:48Dude.
00:20:49Everyone is talking about this party.
00:20:50I heard there might be a fight.
00:20:52I heard that, too.
00:20:53Hang on.
00:20:54This is the first I'm hearing of a fight.
00:20:55There's gonna be tons of fights.
00:20:56My brother's taping his hands.
00:20:57What for?
00:20:58As soon as we can punch harder.
00:20:59And longer.
00:21:01That's it.
00:21:02I'm out.
00:21:03What are you talking about?
00:21:04I'm talking about I'm not going.
00:21:06There's gonna be people fighting and fucking and all sorts of crazy shit.
00:21:10It's too risky.
00:21:11And I can't do it.
00:21:12I won't do it.
00:21:13Yeah, you know, I think I'm out, too, man.
00:21:15I mean, I'm at a critical tipping point with this whole fetus thing.
00:21:18And I think I should just lay low until this all blows over.
00:21:20What up, fetus?
00:21:21Hey, fellas.
00:21:23Fuck!
00:21:24What the fuck, guys?
00:21:25You can't bail.
00:21:26He's right.
00:21:27We're the only freshmen invited.
00:21:29That type of publicity could carry us through the rest of the year.
00:21:31Maybe even through high school.
00:21:33And who you are in high school is basically who you'll be forever.
00:21:36We have one chance to make a first impression, and tomorrow night is it.
00:21:39You're gonna lose that shitty nickname.
00:21:41You're gonna stop being scared.
00:21:43And you're gonna earn your brother's respect.
00:21:45This isn't just a party.
00:21:46This is our future.
00:21:48Do I have to get drunk on alcohol?
00:21:50Yes.
00:21:51You don't have to do anything you don't want to.
00:21:55All right.
00:21:56Fine, man.
00:21:57But if anyone calls me fucking fetus, I'm walking.
00:22:01Chill out, fetus.
00:22:04Hey, guys.
00:22:05It's your boy Cush here.
00:22:06Just wanted to give you a quick update.
00:22:08Just wrapped week one of high school, and I'm not gonna lie.
00:22:11It was tough.
00:22:12Luckily, I have the weekend to catch up on some sleep, get a head start on homework, and psych!
00:22:17Shit's going down tonight.
00:22:18Casa de Cush.
00:22:20Fuck school, fuck college.
00:22:21We're all about getting lit and making money.
00:22:24Come one, come all.
00:22:25Black, white, Asian, trans.
00:22:27We love all people.
00:22:28Unless you're ugly.
00:22:29Then keep your bum ass the fuck home.
00:22:32Peace!
00:22:34You sure we're not too early?
00:22:35Nah.
00:22:36Cush said come for the VIP pregame.
00:22:39Hello?
00:22:40Hey, Cush.
00:22:41Oh!
00:22:43Sorry.
00:22:45Donna, come around the side.
00:22:59Hey, guys.
00:23:00Damn.
00:23:01Katrina Ariana's here?
00:23:02Jesus.
00:23:03She's like a wild animal.
00:23:04Woo!
00:23:06Bad news, guys.
00:23:07Kayvon says I can only have one plus one.
00:23:11You're kidding me, right?
00:23:12He says the party's gonna have enough pussy without you pussies.
00:23:16Is it done?
00:23:17I'm doing it.
00:23:19Sorry, guys.
00:23:20My bad.
00:23:21Your bad?
00:23:22All week it's been, my party, my party.
00:23:25All week it's been, my party, my party.
00:23:27He can't even get three fucking plus ones.
00:23:29Oh, fuck!
00:23:30Now I'm doing it.
00:23:31Guys, I don't mean to be dramatic, but if I don't get with Bailey tonight,
00:23:36I'll kill myself.
00:23:37Hey, hey, hey.
00:23:38Come on.
00:23:39I need this plus one.
00:23:40This might be my only chance.
00:23:41Please.
00:23:42I'll do anything.
00:23:43It's yours.
00:23:44Honestly.
00:23:45I'm relieved.
00:23:46Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:23:47Not so fast.
00:23:48Connor?
00:23:49What?
00:23:50Bench here says he'll do anything.
00:23:51Care to vest that offer?
00:23:53Go fuck yourself.
00:23:54I hope someone drowns in the pool and they sue your family.
00:23:57Let's go, Eddie.
00:23:58Later, guys.
00:24:00Good luck.
00:24:01Hey.
00:24:03I'm glad it's you.
00:24:05You want to see something cool?
00:24:07Sure.
00:24:08Come on.
00:24:15What is this?
00:24:16Well, you know how Kayvon's been pushing me to realize my full potential.
00:24:19He abuses you.
00:24:20It's all love.
00:24:21I just need to do something legendary for him to respect me.
00:24:24So, I'm going to hook up with a senior.
00:24:27No, you're not.
00:24:28Oh, but I am.
00:24:29See, your MeQ idea inspired me.
00:24:32But the only problem is, it leaves too much up to fate.
00:24:35I don't love where this is going.
00:24:36Think about it.
00:24:37Guys are always scheming to get girls in movies.
00:24:39They spy on them or dress up like chicks to steal their secrets.
00:24:42I saw like six different movies where a guy convinces a girl with amnesia she's his wife.
00:24:48Whatever.
00:24:49Explain this.
00:24:50Ah.
00:24:51That's how I remove fate from the equation.
00:24:53From here, I can zero in on a hot senior, pierce her with Cupid's arrow, and convince her to hook up with me.
00:25:00That sounds very creepy.
00:25:03Creepy?
00:25:04It's the same thing you're doing, only better.
00:25:06Well, my thing with Bailey isn't the same at all.
00:25:08How is this different?
00:25:09Bailey's my soulmate.
00:25:10You don't even know your girl yet.
00:25:12Oh.
00:25:13I suppose it'd be better if I stalked her for years.
00:25:15I don't stalk her.
00:25:16I love her.
00:25:17Such a fine line, isn't it?
00:25:18Okay, Matty.
00:25:19I'm going to party.
00:25:20I wouldn't do that if I were you.
00:25:22You only get one chance to make an entrance.
00:25:24And you want to waste it while there's barely anyone here?
00:25:30Fine.
00:25:32But I do not support this.
00:25:34I can live with that.
00:25:35Say cheese.
00:25:40This is such fucking bullshit.
00:25:43We should just call the cops and get that shit shut down.
00:25:46Why are you so mad?
00:25:47A few hours ago, you didn't even want to go.
00:25:49Yeah, but I decide.
00:25:51They don't tell me I can't go.
00:25:52That's my decision.
00:25:54Let's get wild tonight.
00:25:55Get wild?
00:25:56You know what I mean.
00:25:58Let's smoke cigarettes.
00:26:00I have allergies.
00:26:01Let's just do something.
00:26:02We are.
00:26:03We're going to play some Halo, crush some motherfucking meatloaf.
00:26:06Shit's going to be lit.
00:26:08There are my guys, huh?
00:26:10Yeah.
00:26:11Staring down the barrel of another wild night, I see.
00:26:14Can I help you, Dennis?
00:26:15I doubt it.
00:26:16I'm just waiting for your mom to get ready.
00:26:17You know, it's her birthday, so I want to do something special to her.
00:26:20Hey, can I ask you guys a question?
00:26:22Obviously, you're not doing gangbusters in the real world, right?
00:26:25Which is fine.
00:26:26But you're at least getting some action in the metaverse or something, right?
00:26:30That's not how I...
00:26:31Wait, hold that thought.
00:26:33Yo.
00:26:34Oh, my man.
00:26:38No, I can't do that tonight.
00:26:41I have to take my lady out for her birthday.
00:26:44Yeah, the one with the kid.
00:26:45Yeah, the one with the kid.
00:26:47Mm-hmm.
00:26:49Trust me, he doesn't have that in him.
00:26:52Awesome, call me tomorrow.
00:26:53I want to hear about that.
00:26:54Peace.
00:26:56I'm a fucking douchebag.
00:26:57Hi, boys.
00:26:59Hey, mama, looking good.
00:27:01Looking very good, my queen.
00:27:05Hey, Mrs. Young, happy birthday.
00:27:06Wait, wait, wait.
00:27:08Okay.
00:27:10Happy birthday.
00:27:11Thank you, Connor.
00:27:12Any big plans?
00:27:13Dennis is taking me out to dinner.
00:27:15No boo.
00:27:16Then we're getting a hotel for the night.
00:27:17Four seasons.
00:27:19This guy gets it.
00:27:23Hey, we should go.
00:27:24The Uber's here.
00:27:25Dinner's in the oven.
00:27:26Call if you need us.
00:27:27And be careful.
00:27:28Oh, and make sure you blow on the food before you bite into it.
00:27:31Because I really don't want you to burn your little tonguesies.
00:27:33Okay, okay.
00:27:34Good night, boys.
00:27:35Good night, boys.
00:27:36Good night, boys.
00:27:41See?
00:27:42Even your creepy-ass dad thinks we're pussies.
00:27:44He's not my dad.
00:27:45Well, he's definitely your daddy.
00:27:47Who's going to go fuck your mom in some cheap motel?
00:27:49We're going to the Four Seasons.
00:27:50Whatever, dude.
00:27:52Everybody is partying and fucking except us.
00:27:55The fact that they're willing to leave you alone speaks volumes about how little respect they have for you.
00:27:59Actually, it means the opposite.
00:28:00Come on, man.
00:28:01Are we really just going to drift through life getting disinvited from parties
00:28:05while guys like Dennis bang our moms?
00:28:08Okay.
00:28:09Fine.
00:28:10What would you like to do?
00:28:21We can't.
00:28:22Dennis loves this car.
00:28:24You mean Dennis the literal motherfucker?
00:28:27Maybe we should circle back around to the cigarettes.
00:28:30That idea had legs.
00:28:31Great.
00:28:32We'll go buy some.
00:28:33Get in.
00:28:34I'm driving.
00:28:39This is a bad idea.
00:28:40Relax.
00:28:41I have my permit.
00:28:42I run errands with my mom all the time.
00:28:45Two-seven.
00:28:46Two-seven.
00:28:47Two-seven.
00:28:48Bright lights.
00:28:49Keep it straight.
00:28:50Feels like we're in a movie scene.
00:28:54We are on tour.
00:28:55It's fantastic.
00:28:56So we're going to go back.
00:29:01Yeah!
00:29:03Which one of you bitches is next?
00:29:05Dude.
00:29:06Come check this out.
00:29:07Katrina is hammered.
00:29:09Suit yourself.
00:29:10It's pretty cool.
00:29:11It's not cool.
00:29:13It's the opposite of cool.
00:29:15Look.
00:29:17I know it's not easy living in Kayvon's shadow,
00:29:20but I honestly believe that if you just be yourself,
00:29:23people would see what an awesome guy you are.
00:29:27Be myself?
00:29:28Yes.
00:29:29Let them get to know the real me.
00:29:31Exactly.
00:29:33Nah.
00:29:34That'll never work.
00:29:35My plan's way better.
00:29:36Your plan is weird.
00:29:37And probably illegal.
00:29:38Oh, shit.
00:29:39Go to camera three.
00:29:40Hey, now you're getting it.
00:29:41Bailey's here.
00:29:43Isn't she the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?
00:29:45Nah.
00:29:46She's okay.
00:29:47Your sister, on the other hand, is looking fine as fuck.
00:29:51Moment of truth.
00:29:52You coming?
00:29:53I'm going to give it another minute.
00:29:55Let the simmer rise to a boil.
00:29:57Good luck with that.
00:30:01Check it out.
00:30:02Check it, check it, check it out.
00:30:06What is Nicole doing with that big-headed freak?
00:30:08Okay, you're being kind of scary.
00:30:10What?
00:30:11Her head is, like, huge.
00:30:13Okay.
00:30:14It's just a fact.
00:30:16Not that it matters.
00:30:17You know I'm all about body positivity.
00:30:18Beauty's a mostly male construct anyways.
00:30:20Maybe it is actually a medical issue.
00:30:22What if there's something wrong and she's not just ugly?
00:30:24What the fuck is she wearing?
00:30:25Maybe someone should say something to her.
00:30:32Ooh!
00:30:34Give me that.
00:30:38You okay?
00:30:39Yeah, just Ruby being funny.
00:30:42You know, carpool stuff.
00:30:44You look great, by the way.
00:30:46Thanks.
00:30:47So how was your first party?
00:30:48Everything you always dreamed of?
00:30:50So far, so good.
00:30:51I don't know a lot of people, so it's a little awkward.
00:30:53Well, it's about to get more awkward because you have no one to talk to.
00:30:56Good luck.
00:31:02Oh, shit.
00:31:06Christ, Mitch, just go home already.
00:31:09Go home, just throw on your sweats, order some Postmates, get a good night's sleep.
00:31:15Call your mom.
00:31:16You haven't called your mom in weeks.
00:31:18Just get the fuck out of here.
00:31:21Mr. Studebaker!
00:31:23Hey!
00:31:24Hello, Aaron.
00:31:25How are you?
00:31:26I thought that was you, man.
00:31:27Well, you know, I was just in the neighborhood and, uh...
00:31:29Yeah, that's awesome.
00:31:30Freaking awful, man.
00:31:31Are you coming in?
00:31:32Come on, let's go!
00:31:33Yep, okay, that's why I'm here, right?
00:31:35Yeah.
00:31:36Okay, let's do this.
00:31:37Let's do it.
00:31:38Piece of shit.
00:31:39Oh, check this shit out.
00:31:40It's fucking Stude's.
00:31:41Hey, you want a beer?
00:31:42No, no, no.
00:31:43I got a hard out.
00:32:00Hey!
00:32:07Oh, you have new friends.
00:32:09Check it out.
00:32:10I'm gonna mess with them.
00:32:21Hi!
00:32:22Hi!
00:32:29Hey, did you want me to come over?
00:32:31Yeah, uh...
00:32:34What's your deal?
00:32:35In, like, what sense?
00:32:36Like, personality-wise?
00:32:38Wait, aren't you Alyssa's brother?
00:32:39Yeah, I'm Benj.
00:32:41Me and your sister used to do gymnastics together.
00:32:43I'm Jessica.
00:32:44Oh, shit!
00:32:45You're Alyssa's bro?
00:32:46Yeah.
00:32:47Dude, what does your sister do to her face?
00:32:49Don't be an asshole, I'm jealous.
00:32:51Hey, what?
00:32:52I like you.
00:32:53Looks way better.
00:32:54Yeah, I don't know, man.
00:32:55It's not really my place to say.
00:32:59I like this kid.
00:33:00He's loyal.
00:33:01Come here.
00:33:03Are we gonna fucking party tonight or what?
00:33:06I think so.
00:33:07Dude, don't give me that half-assed, one-foot-in bullshit.
00:33:09Come into me.
00:33:10Right now.
00:33:12Are you in?
00:33:17Okay, yeah, I'm in.
00:33:18Motherfucker, let's go!
00:33:20All right, get out of here.
00:33:21I'll let you know when it's time.
00:33:30I can't believe that dickhead wouldn't sell a cigarette.
00:33:33Let it go, man.
00:33:34How's that fluffernutter?
00:33:38Almost fucked.
00:33:39Oh, yeah?
00:33:40Don't tell me.
00:33:41Tell.
00:33:42The people.
00:33:44Come on, let me see you flex.
00:33:48You can do better than that one.
00:33:52Yeah!
00:33:53There it is.
00:33:54Come on, we out here riding.
00:33:56Electric, baby!
00:33:58Saving the planet, going green!
00:34:00Going green!
00:34:01That's all we see is green.
00:34:04Man, just say the word if you want to get up on this chocolate gooey-orey.
00:34:08Oh, shit!
00:34:23Okay, it's time to go home.
00:34:25No way, man.
00:34:26We just started.
00:34:28You know what we should do?
00:34:30We should cruise by Khrushchev's party.
00:34:32Oh, absolutely not.
00:34:34Come on, man.
00:34:35This way, when we do go to our first party, we'll know what to expect.
00:34:38Hell no.
00:34:39Think of it as a recon mission.
00:34:42Like in Halo.
00:34:48I do like recon.
00:34:50Oh, I know you do.
00:34:52Okay, fine.
00:34:54Just a quick drive-by, but be careful.
00:34:57Man, I got this.
00:35:02Just the process, man.
00:35:19Buster.
00:35:23I'm just yanking your chain, playboy.
00:35:26You're in my class, right?
00:35:27Yeah, I'm Benj.
00:35:28Benj, with a J.
00:35:30That's right.
00:35:31Yeah.
00:35:32You want to hook me up with one of those?
00:35:34Thank you, sir.
00:35:35Hey, so how was your first week in high school?
00:35:37It was good.
00:35:38Yeah?
00:35:39I like my classes so far.
00:35:40Nice.
00:35:42High school's the best.
00:35:44Enjoy it.
00:35:47Oh, fuck, it's good.
00:35:50Oh.
00:35:53Hey, Benj, is it weird that I'm here?
00:35:55Oh, yo, Mr. Studebaker.
00:35:57Come do a shot.
00:35:58No, no, thanks for asking, though, guys.
00:36:00I'm taking off in a few.
00:36:01Come on, one shot.
00:36:02One.
00:36:03All right, you know what?
00:36:04I'm just going to get this over with.
00:36:05You want to come?
00:36:06You go ahead.
00:36:07You sure?
00:36:08I got to find something.
00:36:09Yeah, you do.
00:36:11Hey, go get her.
00:36:16Where'd they go?
00:36:18Look who's here.
00:36:19All right, all right.
00:36:21Hi, guys.
00:36:22Listen up.
00:36:23I don't want to blur the lines too much,
00:36:24so I will make you a deal.
00:36:26I will do a shot.
00:36:28But, but, but, but you got to let me teach you
00:36:32something in the process, okay?
00:36:34Hey, come on, give me a break.
00:36:35I'm an educator.
00:36:36I got to educate, right?
00:36:37Good.
00:36:38Hannah, hand me that 151 and what is that?
00:36:43Is that amaretto?
00:36:44Yeah, that'll do.
00:36:45Okay.
00:36:47Who's ready for a science lesson?
00:37:03Oh, shit.
00:37:05Thank God we're not in there.
00:37:07No fucking way.
00:37:09Fetus can drive?
00:37:10Oh, crazy.
00:37:12Look, it's Katrina.
00:37:14I need my purse.
00:37:16Someone fucking stole it.
00:37:18It's on your shoulder, babe.
00:37:21Ow.
00:37:22Hey, where's your Uber?
00:37:24It's a Tesla.
00:37:26Wheezy bitch.
00:37:27There it is.
00:37:31Hey, hey, don't wave back.
00:37:32I'm being polite.
00:37:34Shit, they're coming this way.
00:37:35What do we do?
00:37:36Be cool.
00:37:37Peel out.
00:37:38Those are totally different things.
00:37:39Do one of them.
00:37:41Oh.
00:37:48Oh, fuck.
00:37:49She's getting in.
00:37:50Oh, shit.
00:37:51Oh, shit.
00:37:52Bye, guys.
00:37:53Love you.
00:37:54I love them.
00:37:58Hey, you have an iPhone charger?
00:38:00We're not your Uber.
00:38:02Yeah, huh?
00:38:03For Katrina.
00:38:05Maybe we should just take her home.
00:38:06We have no idea where she lives.
00:38:08Where do you live?
00:38:09Taco Bell.
00:38:10You don't live at a Taco Bell.
00:38:11Yeah, I do.
00:38:12I've lived there for, like, ever.
00:38:14So, you all know me.
00:38:16So, how do you even know?
00:38:17What?
00:38:18Just take me home,
00:38:19or I'll hit you with frickin' one star.
00:38:22Go for it.
00:38:23I'm not an Uber.
00:38:24Oh, I'm not your Uber.
00:38:25There goes a star.
00:38:26Okay.
00:38:27No, Katrina.
00:38:28No more chit-chat.
00:38:29It's music time.
00:38:31Fuck!
00:38:32Yes, bitch!
00:38:33Yo, film this shit.
00:38:35I'm about to set it off.
00:38:37Bling bling, bitch.
00:38:38Do my own thing, bitch.
00:38:39Fuck a wedding ring.
00:38:40That ding-a-ling was just a fling, bitch.
00:38:42Wake up, lil' bitch.
00:38:43Let me show you how to live.
00:38:45Hair done, nails done.
00:38:46Yeah, everything good.
00:38:48Drive!
00:38:55Looking a little lost there, pal.
00:38:57To your right.
00:38:59Look up.
00:39:00There you go.
00:39:02Who's?
00:39:03You fuckin' know it, dawg.
00:39:04What are you creepin' around up here for?
00:39:06Says the guy watching on a spy cam.
00:39:08Touche.
00:39:09Thought you might be looking for Bailey, but never mind.
00:39:11Wait, you know where she is?
00:39:12Duh.
00:39:13I know everything.
00:39:14I'm like God, remember?
00:39:16Right.
00:39:17Where is she?
00:39:18I can't tell you that.
00:39:19It would violate your moral code.
00:39:20Okay, don't be a dick.
00:39:21Fine.
00:39:22See the door on your left?
00:39:23Open it.
00:39:25Fuck off!
00:39:26I'm so sorry!
00:39:30Okay, you're an asshole.
00:39:31Do you even know where she is?
00:39:32She's just left.
00:39:33If you hustle, you can probably catch her.
00:39:37Oh, Jesus.
00:39:42So the higher the proof of alcohol,
00:39:44the lower the density, right?
00:39:46Make sense?
00:39:47So the 151 just kind of floats on top.
00:39:50You know what else is pretty cool about 151?
00:39:54It is flammable as fuck.
00:39:58Hot coffee!
00:39:59Blow him out, throw him back.
00:40:02Damn!
00:40:05Okay, guys.
00:40:06I gotta go now, for real, okay?
00:40:08No, no, no, it's past this old man's bedtime.
00:40:10Have a good time, be safe.
00:40:12Stude's out!
00:40:21Bailey, wait!
00:40:22What?
00:40:23You're leaving?
00:40:24Jesus Christ, dude.
00:40:26You scared the shit out of me.
00:40:29Jesus Christ, dude.
00:40:30You scared me.
00:40:31Sorry, that was a little intense.
00:40:33But you can't leave.
00:40:35I can't?
00:40:36Well, you can.
00:40:37You can do whatever you want.
00:40:38It's just you shouldn't.
00:40:40And why is that?
00:40:41Because you promised we'd have a beer this summer, remember?
00:40:44Right, and I suppose you're going to hold me to that.
00:40:46Well, I just figured you'd want to keep your word.
00:40:50Being an honorable person and all.
00:40:52I do value honor a great deal.
00:40:55I know.
00:40:56That's why I chased you down.
00:40:59All right, sure.
00:41:00I got one in me.
00:41:07Commence Operation Meet Cutes.
00:41:10Which one of you lucky ladies will win the rose?
00:41:13Ooh, Michelle Polanski cleans up nice.
00:41:16But I think if Kayvon hooked up with her, he'd murder me.
00:41:20What up, butt?
00:41:22Who am I kidding?
00:41:23I want to know what to do with that.
00:41:25Hang on.
00:41:26What do we have here?
00:41:28Hello, future soulmate.
00:41:31Oh, hang on.
00:41:32Who's this scumbag?
00:41:33Oh, no, baby.
00:41:34He's all wrong for you.
00:41:36I'll fix that.
00:41:40Ha-ha!
00:41:41Meet Cutes time.
00:41:46Nicole!
00:41:47Hi!
00:41:48Oh, is one of these for me?
00:41:50Actually, it was for...
00:41:52Do you want to go somewhere and talk?
00:41:54We haven't hung out since the summer.
00:41:55Who wants to be friends?
00:41:57Actually, I can't.
00:42:00I told someone I'd get them a drink.
00:42:02Oh, who?
00:42:03Joanie?
00:42:04Well, yeah.
00:42:05Okay, look.
00:42:07I get it.
00:42:08This summer, I was, like, straight-up fucked.
00:42:11That's not true.
00:42:12Yeah, it is.
00:42:13But it's fine, because I fixed it.
00:42:15And now I'm, like, objectively hotter than her, so...
00:42:17It's not about that.
00:42:19Okay, so what's it about, then?
00:42:22Can we not do this now?
00:42:23Just fucking tell me.
00:42:24Fine.
00:42:25Honestly, you're mean.
00:42:27You make people feel bad about themselves.
00:42:29And, yeah, you look good, but...
00:42:31Your insides are gross.
00:42:35Bye, Alyssa.
00:42:42Sorry, I live here.
00:42:44Gotta check something real quick.
00:42:46For real?
00:42:48What?
00:42:49Sorry, guys.
00:42:50Toilet's busted.
00:42:51Either use the guest house or it pisses in the bushes.
00:42:59Everything okay?
00:43:00I'm sorry?
00:43:01I couldn't help but notice you look distressed.
00:43:03I live here.
00:43:04This is my party.
00:43:05Oh, I thought it was Kayvon's.
00:43:07It's both of ours.
00:43:08Oh, yeah, no, I'm fine.
00:43:09I just need to use the bathroom.
00:43:11I suppose you can use the VIP?
00:43:14Oh, my God.
00:43:15I'll be so, so quick.
00:43:17Right this way.
00:43:25What a fucking animal.
00:43:28At least she isn't rapping anymore.
00:43:30Hey, hey, hey, watch the leather.
00:43:32Oh, I can't wait to shut up.
00:43:37Oh, this is making me sick.
00:43:40That's not enough.
00:43:42Oh, what the fuck?
00:43:44What the fuck, man?
00:43:48I can't watch this anymore.
00:43:50Tell us where you live.
00:43:55Night, Nat.
00:43:56No.
00:43:57Hey, hey, hey.
00:43:58No, no, no, Katrina, wait.
00:43:59Don't do that.
00:44:00Katrina, wake up.
00:44:01You can't do that.
00:44:02Wake.
00:44:05What now?
00:44:06Hey, check her purse.
00:44:07What's her ID say?
00:44:1116219F.
00:44:12Boom.
00:44:13Let's go.
00:44:20The name Gravity Bong is a bit misleading, right,
00:44:23because what we're really dealing with here is pressure, OK?
00:44:26As I lift the container,
00:44:28I'm essentially creating a pressure vacuum, right,
00:44:32filling the increasing surface area with smoke.
00:44:34You see how milky that is?
00:44:36Oh, look who's paying attention for once.
00:44:39OK, so as I push down,
00:44:41is I'm rapidly increasing the internal pressure,
00:44:44expelling the smoke out of the chamber and into my lungs.
00:44:47Are we ready for that?
00:44:48Let me get a stoot, stoot, stoot, stoot, stoot, stoot!
00:44:53Here we go!
00:44:55-♪♪♪♪
00:44:59-♪♪♪♪
00:45:02Stoot.
00:45:04Okay, who's on deck?
00:45:06Hey, right here. I got this.
00:45:07All right, guys, see you Monday!
00:45:09Whoo!
00:45:16Thank you so much.
00:45:18Sorry we had to come while we're down here.
00:45:19Oh, it's okay. It's a nice basement.
00:45:22It's more than a basement, really.
00:45:24I mean, we have a screening room, an arcade.
00:45:26We even have a spa.
00:45:28Huh.
00:45:28Wanna see?
00:45:30Sure.
00:45:32Wow. You weren't lying. You have a spa in your home.
00:45:42Yeah. My family's big on mindfulness. I'm sure you picked up on it from my vibe.
00:45:47You seem chill.
00:45:48Thank you. I am. Anyways, should we get back?
00:45:51Yeah.
00:45:52That's weird. It's locked.
00:45:57You're kidding me, right?
00:45:58No worries. I'll call someone.
00:46:01Dang it. No service. You?
00:46:06Nothing.
00:46:08Shoot!
00:46:09Uh, okay. Is there another way out?
00:46:12No.
00:46:13In one mile, turn left on Havenhurst Boulevard.
00:46:20Duke!
00:46:21What?
00:46:22Have some decency to crack a window in.
00:46:24What are you talking about? I don't even smell.
00:46:30What the fuck? I'm at my window.
00:46:39What is that?
00:46:40I don't know. I've never experienced this smell before.
00:46:43Fucking stop!
00:46:44No, stop.
00:46:45Hey, hey, hey, hey, lady. You gotta put a cork in it.
00:46:50Oh, shit. She's shit.
00:46:53What?
00:46:54Shit. She's fucking shit. Oh, shit.
00:46:56What do you mean she's shit?
00:46:58I mean shit is literally falling out of her butt right now.
00:47:02Oh, it's on my head. I got shit on my head.
00:47:07What? Don't put it on me.
00:47:29Get it off of me.
00:47:31It's in my mouth. I got shit in my mouth.
00:47:35Why would you do this?
00:47:38So, want the good news or bad news?
00:47:41More bad news.
00:47:42Bad news is that all we have to eat are these strawberries.
00:47:45Good news is that they look ripe and delicious.
00:47:48Also, I found this pretty nice bottle of champagne.
00:47:51I guess that makes two pieces of good news.
00:47:53So, do you, like, get lots of massages?
00:47:56Actually, I prefer to give. That's why I got certified.
00:47:59Hey, if you want, I could give you some light reflexology.
00:48:02Oh, uh, you don't have to do that.
00:48:04Are you kidding? After all the trouble I've caused?
00:48:07Do you really know what you're doing?
00:48:09I know that spinal stenosis is no laughing matter.
00:48:12Come on. Alleviate my guilt.
00:48:16All right.
00:48:18Come on. Alleviate my guilt.
00:48:21All right. Uh, fuck it. I will take a free massage.
00:48:25That's the spirit. I'm gonna go wash up. We'll start face down.
00:48:28We don't have to take our clothes off
00:48:32We don't have to take our clothes off
00:48:36We don't have to take our clothes off
00:48:40To have a good time
00:48:42Here for you.
00:48:44Thank you.
00:48:46Thank you.
00:48:53I love this song.
00:48:55Oh, yeah? Want to get on the mic?
00:48:57Very funny.
00:48:59Come on. Share your gift.
00:49:01Excuse me, everyone. Can I have your attention?
00:49:03No, no, no. Don't be a dick. Please.
00:49:05Oh, jeez. God forbid anyone meets the real you.
00:49:08I'm sorry. I just don't feel like singing right now.
00:49:11Copy that.
00:49:13Cool guys don't sing.
00:49:15How was your first week? Any ladies in the mix?
00:49:18Not yet. Really?
00:49:20Good-looking guy like you? What's taking so long?
00:49:23There's this girl I kind of like.
00:49:25Sounds serious. What's her deal?
00:49:28Well, she's really cool and smart.
00:49:31Cool and smart?
00:49:33Hard to believe, right?
00:49:35So what are you waiting for?
00:49:37Make a move?
00:49:39What if she's not into it?
00:49:43What if she is?
00:49:48Jesus!
00:49:50It's all good, muchachos.
00:49:52It's just a chemical reaction. You know why?
00:49:54Because it's science!
00:50:01Step right up, boys and girls!
00:50:03Step right up and witness
00:50:05the incredible, fire-breathing
00:50:07Dragon Man!
00:50:13Oh, fuck!
00:50:15It's hot! It's getting hot! It's getting hot!
00:50:20It's okay! It's okay!
00:50:25Help me, please! I'll be a teacher for fuck's sake!
00:50:42Yeah!
00:51:08Dennis is gonna kill me!
00:51:10Fuck, Dennis. He's never gonna know.
00:51:12Are you crazy?
00:51:14It looks like Willy Wonka's diarrhea factory in there.
00:51:16Look, I say we go back to your house and get in bed.
00:51:20This never happened.
00:51:22What about the car?
00:51:24What car? I have no idea what you're talking about.
00:51:26And Katrina?
00:51:28We can't just leave her shitty ass on the side of the road.
00:51:30Why not?
00:51:32Because some psycho rapist could snatch her up.
00:51:34Dude, she's covered in poo. It's like a protective force field.
00:51:36Look, at some point,
00:51:38some cop is gonna cruise by and think she just stole a car
00:51:40and took a dump in it.
00:51:42And what happens when she wakes up and tells the truth?
00:51:46Hey. Katrina.
00:51:48Wake up. Do you know us?
00:51:50I'm a fucking bitch.
00:51:52You're not exactly a star witness.
00:51:54It doesn't matter.
00:51:56They'll trace my credit card back to Taco Bell.
00:51:58They'll pull the security footage.
00:52:00What is this? CSI? Special vehicle unit?
00:52:02It's never gonna work.
00:52:04Fine.
00:52:08New plan.
00:52:20All right. Nice work.
00:52:22That's boss.
00:52:24What's the matter?
00:52:26This feels fucked up.
00:52:28Yeah, well, karma's a stinky perfume.
00:52:30We can't just leave her here like this.
00:52:32With her underpants filled to the brim with diarrhea.
00:52:34They're America's heroes.
00:52:36This is what they train for.
00:52:38Her parents are gonna have to pick her up.
00:52:40Good. Maybe it'll finally motivate them to potty train her.
00:52:42Quit rubbing lips.
00:52:44I just washed my hands.
00:52:46Well, just fucking do it.
00:53:02Close.
00:53:06So you're really done with singing?
00:53:08Yeah.
00:53:10I'm over it.
00:53:12That's too bad.
00:53:14For the record, I always thought you had a pretty nice voice.
00:53:16Gobi.
00:53:18Okay, how are you so good at this?
00:53:20How are you so bad at this?
00:53:22I don't know. I suck.
00:53:24Yo, there you are. Those guys from the skate park are here.
00:53:26They're here?
00:53:28Yeah, and they're probably gonna murder us, so we should go.
00:53:30What's going on?
00:53:32Uh, we ripped off some guys earlier.
00:53:34You ripped them off?
00:53:36Bench. We're partners. We succeed and fail as a unit.
00:53:38There's those motherfuckers.
00:53:40Hey, what's up, fellas?
00:53:42How are ya?
00:53:44Shut the fuck up.
00:53:46Yep. Think you can sell us fake shit?
00:53:48What? Fake shit? There must be some kind of misunderstanding.
00:53:50Talk fast, bitch.
00:53:52I got it from Bench.
00:53:54I have nothing to do with this.
00:53:56He told me it was dank.
00:53:58I popped mine, like, two hours ago,
00:54:00and, well, I don't feel shit either.
00:54:02Oh, come on. I tried to stay in the car.
00:54:04He forced me. He's lying.
00:54:06Come on, Benjamin. The chick is up.
00:54:08Give them their money back.
00:54:10Take your beating and learn from your mistakes.
00:54:14Go easy on him, guys.
00:54:16He's just a kid.
00:54:18Oh!
00:54:24I don't know what the hell is going on,
00:54:26but I'll pay you back.
00:54:28Nah, homie. It's too late for that.
00:54:30Please, man. I'm a good person.
00:54:32Yo, is there a problem?
00:54:34Yeah. There's a fucking problem.
00:54:36Your boys here just ripped us off.
00:54:38This bitch?
00:54:42He's not my boy.
00:54:44Yeah, well,
00:54:46someone owes us $300.
00:54:48That's not my business, dog.
00:54:50My business is hosting this party
00:54:52and ensuring my guests have a good time.
00:54:54I respect that,
00:54:56or I could fuck you up in front of all these people.
00:55:06Yeah.
00:55:08I respect that.
00:55:12I appreciate you being mature about it.
00:55:16That's mad big of you, dog.
00:55:18You know what? I like that.
00:55:20Why don't you guys grab yourself a drink, all right?
00:55:22If you need anything at all, you come find me.
00:55:46Come on.
00:55:52You broke my fucking nose!
00:55:54Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
00:55:56Fuck you!
00:56:08Dude, what the fuck?
00:56:10What?
00:56:12What do you mean, what?
00:56:14I literally thought you were about to get murdered.
00:56:16Fucking Ruby.
00:56:18Wow.
00:56:20That's...
00:56:22Thank you?
00:56:24You're welcome.
00:56:26I mean, you were clearly never gonna make a move.
00:56:28Sorry about that. I just didn't really know how you felt.
00:56:30Well, now you know.
00:56:32So next time, don't overthink it.
00:56:34Yeah, no, no, I won't.
00:56:38Like, now would be that time?
00:56:40Oh, yeah.
00:56:42Here I come.
00:56:48Is that okay?
00:56:50That was surprisingly good, actually.
00:56:56Don't tell your sister about this.
00:56:58I would never tell her anything.
00:57:00I'm serious. I'll fuck you up.
00:57:02This is not a good look for me.
00:57:04Wow, thanks.
00:57:06Don't get me wrong. I mean, you're super cute,
00:57:08but you're a freshman, I'm a sophomore.
00:57:10Yeah.
00:57:12The gap is unbridgeable.
00:57:14Fine.
00:57:16But you have to promise not to tell anyone, either.
00:57:18Oh, really? Why's that?
00:57:20Well, you know, because I'm a freshman, a new kid,
00:57:22I want to keep my options open.
00:57:24Oh, you do, do you?
00:57:26No.
00:57:28Not really.
00:57:38Okay, I should probably get back
00:57:40before people think I'm, like, off somewhere blowing you.
00:57:42Not gonna happen.
00:57:44Yeah, no, I don't even want that.
00:57:46That's not what I'm...
00:57:48Obviously, if you wanted to,
00:57:50I would totally allow that.
00:57:52That came out wrong.
00:57:54You don't need my permission.
00:57:56You can do anything you want.
00:57:58I support women.
00:58:00Find me before you leave.
00:58:02Maybe I'll give you a ride.
00:58:06This was fun.
00:58:08Oh, shit!
00:58:10He's alive!
00:58:12Oh, my God!
00:58:14Yo, bro, thank you.
00:58:16I needed that.
00:58:18Look, I should've taped up.
00:58:20Oh, my God.
00:58:22They got all messed up.
00:58:24Hey, I love you, kid.
00:58:26It's all good. We're all friends now.
00:58:28Yeah!
00:58:30Let's go play!
00:58:32Yeah!
00:58:34Yeah!
00:58:36Yeah!
00:58:38Let's go!
00:58:44You ready?
00:58:52This is it now
00:58:54Can't quit now
00:58:56Feel the pressure is on the rise
00:58:58Burning inside, energy is high
00:59:00And I feel so alive
00:59:02Had to face up, so I prayed up
00:59:04I came up, so what you afraid of?
00:59:06This is what legends are made of
00:59:08It's in the stage of a new wave
00:59:10Of hustlers, ballers, and renegades
00:59:12Every day stays dedicated
00:59:14On a mission, it's who we can say we made it
00:59:16There's nothing that life will just hand you
00:59:18Always did what they told me I can't do
00:59:20And it's still all a gamble
00:59:22Go and handle your handle
00:59:24You ready? Keep your eyes peeled
00:59:26You hear it coming
00:59:28It's about to get real
00:59:30Yeah!
00:59:32Watch
00:59:36It's about to get real
00:59:42You know the deal
00:59:44It's about to get real
00:59:46This is high stakes, no off days
00:59:48You cooked if you caught in a blaze
00:59:50You either eating or you get ate
00:59:52It's all part of the game we play
00:59:54When I stand up, never jammed up
00:59:56Can't go under, do you overstand us?
00:59:58Don't take it for granted
01:00:00It's bigger than life on this planet
01:00:02Upset cause I know the legend
01:00:04I'm pushing it right to the edge
01:00:06With my real hands for the blood and the tears we shed
01:00:08Impatient, we done weighed in
01:00:10So at the end of the day
01:00:12You know the deal
01:00:14It's about to get real
01:00:28Hey
01:00:40Hey dude, see you Monday
01:00:42Okay
01:00:44All done
01:00:46You may feel a little sore tomorrow, nothing to worry about
01:00:48Just a toxin release
01:00:50And if you want a nice hot soak
01:00:52It's always great for recovery
01:00:54I didn't bring a suit so
01:00:56Oh, we have plenty of suits in the changing room
01:01:00Are you gonna get in?
01:01:02To the tub?
01:01:04I can't go alone, right?
01:01:06I mean, I guess I could
01:01:08Why don't you go change, I'll get it all set up
01:01:12Right back there, pick any suit you want
01:01:14Okay
01:01:18Yes, yes, it's freaking on
01:01:26Oh my god
01:01:34There he is
01:01:36Just the man I wanted to see
01:01:38Come here, let me ask you something
01:01:40You like jazz?
01:01:42Yeah, yeah, I like jazz
01:01:44Of course you do, you bastard
01:01:46I've got something for you
01:01:48Oh my god
01:01:50What happened to you?
01:01:52Oh, I have an older brother
01:01:54Oh
01:01:56Oh, I almost forgot the drinks
01:02:02Some bubbles to go with these bubbles
01:02:06Oh shit, are you okay?
01:02:08Oh fuck, fuck, fuck
01:02:10Oh my god, oh my god, your shoulder
01:02:12What is that?
01:02:14It's your bone
01:02:16Don't just stand there, get help
01:02:18How? We're locked in
01:02:20I have a key
01:02:22I have a key
01:02:24What? In my pants
01:02:26What the fuck?
01:02:32You have had a key this entire time?
01:02:34Who cares how long I had it, I'm fucking dying here
01:02:36Fucking creep, what is wrong with you?
01:02:38No
01:02:40I have low self esteem, I'm trying to impress my brother
01:02:42I know I'm a piece of shit
01:02:44But I don't deserve a tie
01:02:48Please
01:02:50Call 9-1-1
01:02:52Call yourself asshole
01:03:00Guess what the cat dragged out
01:03:02Somebody cut up a little jazz
01:03:04So I guess it's on
01:03:06Oh, oh
01:03:08Oh no, no, I'm going to stick with the beer, thank you though
01:03:10What?
01:03:12What are you talking about? You gave me your word, man
01:03:14What, are you not a man of your word?
01:03:16Come on
01:03:18Just do it
01:03:20Bench, bench, bench
01:03:22Fuck it, I'll do it
01:03:24Atta boy, you heard him
01:03:26One master rail
01:03:28Oh no, no, no, just one medium size rail will be fine
01:03:30Do I just sniff it?
01:03:32Wait a fucking minute, is this your first time?
01:03:36Alright, shit
01:03:38We got to make this special
01:03:40Quick, somebody give me a
01:03:42100 dollar bill
01:03:44Matter of fact, let me get a gold record or some shit
01:03:46Who got that?
01:03:48He should do it on Jessica, she thinks he's cute
01:03:50That is a great idea
01:03:52Jessica, get your butt over here
01:03:54No, Jessica, you don't have to do that
01:03:56It's not a big deal
01:03:58You can if you want
01:04:00Time to make some dreams come true
01:04:06Oh my god, there's two more
01:04:08Don't be shy
01:04:10Atta boy
01:04:12You ain't no bitch baby no more
01:04:14Shit's clean
01:04:18God, it burns
01:04:20Wow
01:04:22Bailey?
01:04:24Wait
01:04:26Oh shit, oh fuck
01:04:28That was really bad
01:04:30Hey, hey, hey
01:04:32Easy little fella, breathe
01:04:34I'm sorry, I've never done coke before
01:04:38Okay, you still have it
01:04:40What?
01:04:42That was K, man
01:04:44K?
01:04:46You kidding me? It's like
01:04:48Cats
01:04:50I think it might be horses, shit, I forgot
01:04:52Oh god, I'm gonna die
01:04:54Relax
01:04:56Sit down
01:04:58Let the wave wash you back ashore
01:05:12Let's go
01:05:24Let's go
01:05:26Let's go
01:05:28Let's move it
01:05:30Come on, all out of here
01:05:32All right
01:05:34Let's go
01:05:36Jesus Christ
01:05:42Oh my god
01:05:48Alyssa?
01:05:50Holy shit
01:05:52I know, I'm a fucking monster
01:05:56Inside and out
01:06:08It makes me feel a bit better, I broke my collarbone in two places
01:06:10I'm sure you deserved it
01:06:12Without a doubt
01:06:14I got off easy
01:06:18You wanna talk about it?
01:06:22There's nothing to talk about
01:06:26Nicole was right
01:06:30It doesn't even fucking matter what I look like
01:06:32Because my soul is dog shit
01:06:34That's not true
01:06:36You're crazy hot, you smell great
01:06:38And your butt's like a freaking walnut
01:06:40What the fuck, dude?
01:06:42Who fucking talks like that?
01:06:44I'm sorry, I'm trying to change
01:06:46But it's gonna take some time
01:06:50What I'm trying to say is
01:06:52You're great the way you are
01:06:58You don't think I'm like a huge bitch?
01:07:00Oh, you're a gigantic bitch
01:07:02But that's what makes you so great
01:07:04Look
01:07:06I'm not stupid
01:07:08I know I'm a douche
01:07:10And the only reason people tolerate me
01:07:12Is because
01:07:14My parents are rich
01:07:16And I throw sick parties
01:07:18Your brother does
01:07:20We both do, as a team
01:07:22But you've always called into my shit
01:07:24No matter what
01:07:26You're raw and real and wild
01:07:28And if Nicole can't handle that
01:07:30She doesn't deserve you
01:07:32She doesn't deserve you
01:07:36Thanks
01:07:40That's sweet
01:07:42It's the truth
01:07:48Wait
01:07:50Is this a meet cute?
01:07:52Not a fucking chance
01:07:54Fair enough
01:07:56I don't even know who you are
01:08:00What the fuck even is ketamine?
01:08:06Don't know? Not sure?
01:08:08I think it's for cats or something
01:08:10Speak up!
01:08:12I think it's for cats or something
01:08:14It's for cats
01:08:16Or something
01:08:18Well that's just fan-fucking-tastic
01:08:20I hope you got a big ball of yarn
01:08:22In your bedroom
01:08:24Because that's going to be your only entertainment for the next year
01:08:26What the fuck are you laughing at?
01:08:28What the fuck are you laughing at?
01:08:30Are you laughing at me?
01:08:32Because you're not getting another nose
01:08:34Fine, I don't want one
01:08:36Good!
01:08:38I certainly hope that you identify
01:08:40With whatever kind of mess is going on under that bandage
01:08:42I said okay!
01:08:44I am the one
01:08:46Who says when it is okay
01:08:54Fine
01:09:00Fun night
01:09:02Did you talk to Bailey yet?
01:09:04No
01:09:06Why? What happened?
01:09:08I messed everything up
01:09:10Do you want my advice?
01:09:12Let me guess
01:09:14Eat a dick
01:09:16Actually I was going to say
01:09:18Just be yourself
01:09:20I thought you hated myself
01:09:22Bailey likes you dude
01:09:24Not this new you, okay?
01:09:26The real you
01:09:28The geek who blushes when she walks in the room
01:09:30And sings Stevie Wonder
01:09:32And fucks his bedroom mirror
01:09:34I don't do that
01:09:36Whatever
01:09:40Honestly, I like him better too
01:09:44So quit feeling sorry for yourself
01:09:46Wipe that shit off your face and go get her
01:09:48Why are you being so nice to me?
01:09:50I don't know
01:09:52I think I have a concussion
01:09:58You got this
01:10:00You got this
01:10:16What the?
01:10:18Someone better tell me what the fuck is going on
01:10:20God damn woman
01:10:22You broke my ear
01:10:24Wrong answer
01:10:26Please, please
01:10:28Whoa, whoa, whoa
01:10:30I'm Eddie
01:10:32That's Connor
01:10:34We go to your school
01:10:36You're in my room
01:10:38Where are my fucking clothes?
01:10:40In the wash
01:10:42We took care of you last night
01:10:44Please stop hurting us
01:10:48Why are my clothes in the wash?
01:10:54Listen
01:10:56Listen
01:11:06No, no, no, it's not a big deal
01:11:08It's okay
01:11:10It's okay
01:11:22Beats riding the bus, doesn't it?
01:11:28Hey, you know, I've been thinking
01:11:30If you want to tell people I'm your dad
01:11:32I'm cool with that
01:11:36I think I'm okay
01:11:38If you need anything, give me a call
01:11:40I'll be at home hanging out with your mom
01:11:48You know what, Dennis?
01:11:50What's up?
01:11:52Shut the fuck up
01:11:54I am not the guy you think I am
01:11:56Dennis
01:11:58Not anymore
01:12:00I've changed
01:12:02I've seen some shit
01:12:04And not like a war vet has seen some shit
01:12:06Oh, shit
01:12:08Dripping down the walls of this stupid-ass car
01:12:10You love so much
01:12:14I don't know what any of that means
01:12:16Let me break it down for you
01:12:18The other night I took your car out
01:12:20And I had the hottest girl in school
01:12:22In the backseat
01:12:24Fuck yeah
01:12:26And then she sprayed dookie all over it
01:12:28I cleaned it as best as I could
01:12:30But I bet if you closed your eyes
01:12:32You could still detect a hit
01:12:36Eddie
01:12:38Eddie
01:12:40If that's true
01:12:42That is a serious betrayal of my trust
01:12:44What, are you going to tell on me?
01:12:46Yeah
01:12:48Actions have consequences
01:12:50Okay, so I'm going to have to tell your mom
01:12:52Great, I'll come with you
01:12:54Who do you think she's going to side with?
01:12:56Her little angel?
01:12:58Or the most suspicious-looking motherfucker on earth?
01:13:02The angel
01:13:04What'd you say?
01:13:06The angel
01:13:08That's what I thought
01:13:10From now on
01:13:12Put some respect on my name
01:13:14I respect you
01:13:16I always have
01:13:18Yeah, fuck you
01:13:20Fuck you
01:13:32I'm so sorry, but um
01:13:34I think the child lock is on
01:13:36Can I get some help?
01:13:38Yeah
01:13:46You talked to Ben?
01:13:48I called him yesterday, but his mom answered
01:13:50She sounded pissed
01:13:52Hey guys
01:13:54Damn, Koush, what happened to you?
01:13:56What'd I tell you?
01:13:58Where does he come from?
01:14:00Don't call me Koush anymore
01:14:02Being a legend is exhausting
01:14:04Also, I'm starting to think
01:14:06My brother might not be a great person
01:14:08He's not
01:14:10Yeah, he's a sociopath
01:14:12From now on, just call me Donna
01:14:14My pleasure, Donna
01:14:16Don't say it like that
01:14:20Hey George
01:14:22Hi
01:14:24Hey
01:14:26You guys get into anything this weekend?
01:14:28Nope, pretty mellow
01:14:30Yeah, super lit
01:14:32Oh man, we got off our asses
01:14:34You would've loved it
01:14:36Sorry again about those plus ones
01:14:38Next time, it's a lock
01:14:40Connor! Eddie!
01:14:42Is Katrina Orellana waving at you?
01:14:44Weird
01:14:46Yeah, I guess we better go check it out
01:14:48Hang on, should I roll with?
01:14:50Nah
01:14:52You know, it looks pretty full up there
01:14:54Well hey, next time man
01:14:56It's a lock
01:15:00Alyssa
01:15:02No
01:15:08Whoa, not so fast, fetus
01:15:10Freshmen sit on the floor
01:15:12Yeah, back to the womb, fetus
01:15:16Um, I'm sorry
01:15:18Who the fuck are you?
01:15:20Me? Yeah, no one cares
01:15:22And his name is Connor, not fetus, asshole
01:15:24Now get up
01:15:26My friends are sitting there
01:15:30It's not a riddle douchebag, move
01:15:32Let's go boys, chop chop
01:15:34Thank you
01:15:36I washed your clothes
01:15:38Oh, you didn't have to
01:15:40I also want to apologize
01:15:42No, no, no, it's cool
01:15:44Actually, it's pretty fucking far from cool
01:15:46And I'm sorry you guys had to deal with that
01:15:48Apology accepted
01:15:50Don't even know what you're talking about
01:15:52Thank you for being gentlemen
01:15:54Come sit with us, please
01:16:00Um, guys
01:16:02Meet my friends
01:16:04This is Connor and Eddie
01:16:06Hey Connor, good to meet you
01:16:08Alright, settle down
01:16:10Settle down
01:16:14Settle down
01:16:16Okay, we got a lot to get through this morning
01:16:18First up, Coach Morella
01:16:24Guys, we are a week into the school year
01:16:26And we're missing an absurd amount of towels
01:16:28This isn't a hotel, okay
01:16:30Those aren't free
01:16:32Unrelated note
01:16:34Our volleyball team is in desperate need
01:16:36Of an outside hitter
01:16:38So if you've gone through a growth spurt
01:16:40I need to know about it
01:16:42So if you have any jeans that don't fit anymore
01:16:44Or that you don't love
01:16:46As much as you used to
01:16:48Put them in one of our
01:16:50Jeans for teens bins
01:16:52And they'll be donated to underprivileged teens
01:16:54Who can't afford jeans of their own
01:16:56Everybody deserves jeans, guys
01:17:02Alright
01:17:04That about does it for today
01:17:06Oh, looks like we have one more announcement
01:17:08From, uh
01:17:10Benjamin Nielsen
01:17:22Hi everyone
01:17:24I'm Benj
01:17:26Say ho
01:17:30I need to say something
01:17:34I've been looking forward to high school
01:17:36Forever
01:17:42I know, right
01:17:44But for whatever reason
01:17:46I believed that's where I was going to become my best self
01:17:48And I got off to a great start
01:17:50I met some awesome people
01:17:52But they didn't meet me
01:17:54Not the real me
01:17:56You see
01:17:58I was so obsessed with winning everyone over
01:18:00That I lost sight of the one person
01:18:02That I truly care about
01:18:04Bailey
01:18:06This is for you
01:18:12Like a fool
01:18:14I went and stayed too long
01:18:22Now I'm wondering
01:18:24If your love's still strong
01:18:26Ooh, baby
01:18:28Here I am
01:18:30Signed, sealed, delivered
01:18:32I'm yours
01:18:42Then that time I went
01:18:44And said goodbye
01:18:46Now I'm back
01:18:48And not ashamed to cry
01:18:50Ooh, baby
01:18:52Here I am
01:18:54Signed, sealed, delivered
01:18:56I'm yours
01:19:00I've done a lot of foolish things
01:19:02That I really didn't mean
01:19:04Oh, baby
01:19:06Didn't I, didn't I
01:19:08Yeah
01:19:10Seen a lot of things
01:19:12In this old world
01:19:14When I touched them
01:19:16They mean nothing, girl
01:19:18Ooh, baby
01:19:20Here I am
01:19:22Signed, sealed, delivered
01:19:24I'm yours
01:19:28Ooh wee, babe
01:19:30You set my soul on fire
01:19:32That's why I know you're my
01:19:34Heart's only desire
01:19:36Ooh, baby
01:19:38Here I am
01:19:40Signed, sealed, delivered
01:19:42I'm yours
01:19:44Everybody
01:19:46Baby
01:19:48Signed, sealed, delivered
01:19:50I'm yours
01:19:52Signed, sealed, delivered
01:19:54I'm yours
01:19:56Signed, sealed, delivered
01:19:58I'm yours
01:20:04What do you say, Bailey?
01:20:06Will you be my girlfriend?
01:20:16Whoa
01:20:20No, dude, no
01:20:22What are you doing?
01:20:24Oh, shit!
01:20:26No!
01:20:28Okay
01:20:30Okay
01:20:32Okay
01:20:34Okay
01:20:36Okay
01:20:38Get back to class
01:20:42Sorry, buddy
01:20:46Ha ha
01:20:56You'll be okay
01:20:58Yeah, at least you tried, man
01:21:00Are you guys even watching?
01:21:02That was the most brutal thing I've seen in my life
01:21:04Shut up, Koosh
01:21:06Watch it again if you don't believe me
01:21:08No way
01:21:10What the fuck, man? You were recording?
01:21:12Did you do something?
01:21:14No, he's recording
01:21:16He's really irresponsible
01:21:20Binge
01:21:22You alright, buddy?
01:21:24Yeah
01:21:26Yeah, I'm good
01:21:28A lot of year left
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