How to be less reactive and more responsive? || Acharya Prashant, at Cummins College, Nagpur (2022)

Acharya Prashant

‍♂️ Want to meet Acharya Prashant? Be a part of the Live Sessions: https://acharyaprashant.org/hi/enquir...   Want to read Acharya Prashant's Books? Get Free Delivery: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/books?...  ~~~~~  Video Information: 21.11.2022, Cummins College, Nagpur  Context: ~ How to control my emotions? ~ How to be less reactive? ~ How to not feel easily hurt? ~  Why are women easily fooled?  ~ How to be a better human being?  Music Credits: Milind Date  ~~~~~

Transcript

00:00Good afternoon, sir. I am Nikki Singh. Sir, my question is, how can I be a more responsive

00:08person rather than a reactive one?

00:11Good one. Thank you, DC.

00:14Thank you, sir.

00:18Responsive rather than reactive. First of all, do we see that there is a difference

00:23between these two? What is the difference? Response and reaction. Is there a difference?

00:40How do you know when you have reacted rather than responded? How do you know? Yes? Reaction

00:55is a? Good one. Nice. That is something we can begin with. So, she says reaction is something

01:06like reflex action. So, where do these reflexes come from? Does a little baby have reflexes?

01:22Yes or no? Yes. So, where do these reflexes come from? They come from Mother Nature. They

01:30come from the mother's womb. You don't have to be taught reflexes. They exist right in

01:38your body. You bring a finger towards a little baby, just let's say a month old, you bring

01:48a little finger gently towards his eyes. And what will he do? Nobody taught the baby

02:00to do this. Instinctively, the baby knows that, you know, some foreign object is coming

02:06towards the eye, so the eyelids have to be shut. Right? Similarly, heat or cold or wetness,

02:24the baby knows how to deal with it. At least the baby knows that these are not nice things,

02:29so I need to cry. The temperature is 35, not pleasant, so the baby will cry. Or the temperature

02:38is 15, again not pleasant. Or the little bed is wet, again it will cry. How does it know all these

02:48things? How does the baby know how, for example, to take feed from the mother's body? The baby

02:56knows, you don't have to educate it. These are reflexes. What do these reflexes exist for? All

03:07these things that we just talked of, do they turn the baby into a better human being? Do they? Do

03:17they? No. Still they serve a purpose. What's the purpose? The purpose is physical security.

03:27Physical security. Now, the hand that is coming towards the baby might be of a well-meaning

03:38relative and yet the baby might resist it and cry out or turn her face away because all that

03:51is needed for physical security. All that is needed for physical security. And nature through

04:03its very very long process of evolution instilled these reflexes within us. They now sit in our DNA

04:13and once upon a time they had an important function to perform. The function was physical

04:22security. Now what has happened is that over the last 3-4 thousand years, mankind has progressed

04:35remarkably and very speedily. But evolution is a very very slow process. In the dimension of

04:45evolution, 4,000 years mean nothing at all. So, our body and the conditioning embedded in the

04:55body has remained just the same as it was 10 lakh years ago. Now compared to 10 lakh years, how much

05:02is 4,000 years? Nothing. But all that which you call as your knowledge, your development, your

05:08civilization has come in the last 4,000 maximum 6,000 years, not more than that. But the instincts

05:17that you carry in your body, they are millions of years old. Because they are so old, so they

05:23will take time to change. Not that they cannot change, but they will take time. So, internally

05:29we are still as we said that caveman, that old caveman with his cave-like instincts. Our instincts

05:37belong to the jungle. Because all our life we have lived just in the jungle, right? How old are

05:43we? We are millions of years old. And where were we living all this while? Where were we living all

05:51this while? In the jungle. Only recently, very very recently have we moved out of the jungle

05:57into the village or the city. So, our body still belongs to the jungle. And that's where our

06:05reflexes come from. You could say our reflexes are very jungly. That's what is reaction. A wild

06:16thing. An uneducated thing. A very animalistic thing. But something very powerful because you

06:26don't even need to think about it. It sits in your body. Let's say your arm touches something hot.

06:35Do you have to think whether or not to jerk away? No. You immediately flinch, don't you? Why is that

06:44needed? Because mother nature said that if you think, thinking will take time. And in that time,

06:51your skin, your arm will be damaged. So, let me give you something that bypasses thought. That's

07:00what reaction does. It gives you no time to think. It just happens. It's like switching on an electric

07:10bulb. Instantaneous reaction, right? It's like pouring water over sodium. Instantaneous reaction.

07:17No time to think. Just happens. Something very chemical, very biological. That's what reactiveness

07:23is. There is no thought, no consciousness involved in this. Mind this word, consciousness. Reflex

07:31action does not involve consciousness. Reflex action does not involve thought. Reactiveness

07:38does not involve consciousness. It only involves your wild, wild cave-like instincts. Are you

07:48getting? Now, those instincts we said are useful because they help the animal survive. We were an

07:54animal, right? Living in the jungle, we were just like animals. And those instincts have surely been

07:59beneficial because they have helped us survive over all these millions of years. So, definitely

08:05they have, at least they had a good use. Are you getting it? You must ask yourself, do you still

08:15need to live by the code of the animal, by the rules and the constitution of the animal,

08:23or as evolved human beings? You need to live more by thought and even more by understanding.

08:33Someone comes and says something unpleasant to you. Do you need to just immediately,

08:42unthinkingly explode as most of us do? Or can you tell yourself, I'm not an animal. I can wait,

08:51I can be patient. Let me at least think over it. And if I think deeply, the thought will

08:57sublimate into understanding. Even if I can't go to that depth of thought, let me at least try to

09:05think. Let me at least postpone the reaction. Because the reaction belongs to the jungle,

09:11to the animal, to the caveman. Am I jungly? In the jungle, we didn't have haircut to begin with.

09:26And there was no social media. We weren't brushing our tooth either. No one was wearing specs. No one

09:36wore clothes in the first place. When you have dropped all that, think of all that happens in

09:45the jungle. Someone is just pouncing upon someone else and tearing the body apart and eating the

09:52flesh. When you have dropped all that, why can't you drop your reactiveness? And particularly women,

10:04you see, because the biological role of women has a lot to do with the body. Right? The woman carries

10:14the baby for nine months and then also raises the baby for several years. Therefore, Prakriti,

10:23mother nature, made her even more reactive. Now that was all okay in the cave times. That is not

10:31okay today. Do you want to live as a body coming from the jungle? Or do you want to live as a free

10:39consciousness? Answer this please. And if you want to live as a free consciousness, then stop being

10:45emotionally reactive. That's the worst thing girls can do to themselves. Living from their emotional

10:52center. But you know, the force of emotion is so strong that when it rises, it feels like just the

10:59right thing. That's the problem. You can resist something if first of all it appears bad.

11:08If something appears bad, then you will even begin to resist it. But when emotion arises,

11:15it does not even appear bad. It appears just the right thing to happen.

11:19And you feel like supporting it. And the more you support it, the more you will remain enslaved.

11:26The animal, you know, what do you call animal in Hindi? In Sanskrit? Pashu.

11:36That which is in Pash. Pash means slavery. That which is in Pash is Pashu.

11:45If you live by the code of the animal, you will live the life of a slave.

11:49The more reactive and the more emotional you are, the more easily you will be enslaved.

11:58Because emotion is like a button. And everybody knows where your buttons are.

12:04Anybody can come and press that button and get the desired output from you. Suppose I want to

12:08make you angry. And I know that if I utter a particular word to you, you get angry.

12:13Now it is so easy for me to control you. Is it not?

12:17If I want to upset you, I just have to utter that word. You have become a machine.

12:23And I know the trigger. Equally, let's say I want to make you happy. I want to please you.

12:29And that is something very frequently used, especially with women.

12:32I want to please you. I know what pleases you. I can come and say, oh, you're looking gorgeous.

12:36The button has been. And immediately you will be prepared to do me a favor.

12:47It's not so simplistic, but you get the drift, right?

12:52If I know what pleases you, I can enslave you.

12:57If I know what displeases you, I can again enslave you. And that is the great danger in

13:07being emotionally reactive. You are predictable. And if you are predictable, you are controllable.

13:15Do you get this? Don't you see how even little kids try to fool their mothers?

13:20Mama, the food is great today. Mama, can I have 500 rupees?

13:28Now, the father had refused even 100 rupees. But this rascal manages to squeeze 500 from

13:34the mother. Mama, the food is great. And the mama says, okay, you take 500.

13:40Those who have known what womanhood means have had tremendous respect for women.

13:58The topmost Hindi author Premchand, he used to say that when men evolve beyond a point,

14:09then they acquire some feminine qualities. Otherwise, men remain inferior to women.

14:18And therefore, it is an even bigger tragedy that such a fine creature, the woman,

14:26such a fine specimen of evolution has lived life of continuous deprivation and slavery

14:38just because she has been too emotional and too reactive.

14:50Ready to shed tears at the drop of a hat. Why must you weep so often? Not that tears are a

14:56problem. I too weep quite frequently and there's nothing problematic in that. But

15:04there has to be some discretion. You must know where those tears are coming from.

15:16No? Remember, if there is an animal sitting in the woman, there is a bigger animal sitting in the

15:28sitting in the man. And that animal is bloodthirsty and bigger. And he'll eat you up.

15:41He'll tear you apart. And that's what he has been doing since centuries.

15:46If you remain an animal, the male, remember, is a bigger and more powerful animal.

15:53The only way you can beat the male animal is by

15:59not remaining an animal, become a human being. And a human being is not characterized by her

16:05reactiveness or emotionality. The mark of a human being is consciousness, understanding, depth,

16:13freedom of thought.

16:15Animals are supposed to react. Human beings are supposed to understand and then respond.

16:27That's the difference between reaction and response. Response involves understanding.

16:34Reaction is just chemical. One molecule meets another and there is an explosion. That's

16:43reaction. You don't want to be chemical. You don't want to be animal.

16:51Whenever you find emotions taking control of yourself, resist, fight. That's the one battle

17:00worthy to be fought. The external battles can wait a little.

17:11If you can fight the internal battle well,

17:14you will find the external battles are far easier to win.

17:22Be a master of your own mind.

Category

Transcript

Recommended