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00:30Oh
00:45Angela Rippon
00:48But you were very close
00:50Well, are you ready for it?
00:53First oh, no, I never eat breakfast. Oh now you ought to eat something. You're all skin and bone
00:58You look like a walking pipe cleaner
01:01Here have some toast. That'll keep you pecker up my Peckers perfectly. All right as it is. Thank you very much
01:07How about a boiled egg? Oh, no, thank you. I couldn't eat an egg
01:10Especially when you think where they come from what's me right?
01:15I'll just have a cup of tea
01:17Neville could I be personal for a moment if you must
01:21Well, I happen to go in the bathroom this morning and I got quite a shock, oh no, I'm the same
01:26I look dreadful first thing in a moment
01:29I'm talking about those pink underpants hanging over the wash basin. Don't you like pink? It's not the color
01:36I'm objecting to it's what was written right across the front
01:39Handle with care
01:42They're all the rage there the pair I've got on today say Britain's secret weapon
01:50Oh
01:56Yes, that's for you, oh it's from my friend Bobby, you know the one I sold the fish and chip shop to him Blackpool. Oh
02:04What a beautiful smell. Oh, so no salt and vinegar
02:09Wonder what he wants. I hope everything's alright
02:12You wouldn't like to read it for me. Would you me? Oh, well, it might be bad news. I can't bear to read bad news
02:18Well, all right
02:21Oh
02:24Hello Chuck
02:28Just a few lines to tell you all the news and cheer you up. Oh, isn't that nice?
02:33You remember mrs. Parkington. She's run off with Cyril Kershaw
02:40Oh fatty Kershaw, I always thought he was the other way
02:44Hmm
02:46There's hope for us all
02:49Betty Wilmot's having another Charlie Evans has got it again and the Vic has been in bed all week with flow
03:00The Vic has been in bed all week with flu
03:06The chip shops doing very well and the sales have gone up hope yours has too
03:11Oh
03:13Must dash now before me lard gets hard
03:17Yours Bobby. Oh, isn't that nice? Don't forget. It's payday today
03:20The wage packets are made up if you want to take them across I'll pop across in a minute
03:25Sure, I rather like being a boss. It's quite nice to think of us sitting here sipping tea while that lot are over there slaving away
03:32All
03:39Right trust me another
03:46Morning staff
03:49Neville would you like a taste of my brew?
03:51No, thank you. Mom. I've got too much respect for my stomach. Oh your dad used to swear by my team
03:59How's your up cut
04:02Oh
04:15Can I say something well, there's a couple of small points I'd like to bring to your attention
04:24Wouldn't exactly call them small
04:30No, it keeps going up and down
04:33Oh
04:34My income tax it fluctuates. You'll have to take that up with the tax man. What's the other point?
04:40Well, I'd like to ask your advice on a small personal matter
04:49It's my boyfriend he wants to take a photo of me in the nude. Oh the fruity old thing
04:56He'll catch his death account
04:59I
05:01Hear me well, what should I do? Well, if I were you I'd wear your bikini and tell him to use his imagination
05:07Next I'm a tall mom. It's an hour. We are mom. Don't spend it all at once. I'm saving up for me holidays
05:13I'm going abroad. Oh, that's nice the Isle of Capri now. I'll a man
05:19Why don't you do what Bobby and I did we went camping in a tent?
05:23No, we went to one of those holiday camps, you know
05:25The sort of place I mean where they blow a whistle at six o'clock in the morning for everybody to get back to their own
05:40What you're going to do with yourself this weekend, oh tomorrow I'm gonna watch our football team
05:44Oh, you like football do you? Yeah, I just love to see all those big men running about in shorts
05:51especially butch
05:54Butch is he that's interesting. Oh, he's lovely. He could score with me any time
06:01Cleo control yourself. Oh, I can't help it. Mr. Neville. He turns me on
06:05He's big and handsome and he's got thighs like oak trees
06:10Cool, I could eat him. I'm feeling a bit peckish
06:17Next next row the Percy
06:23Second
06:25Mr. Neville, yeah, what about my emoluments you are what they're not big enough
06:45The holiday camps been on the phone if it's about the writing on the Shelley wall, that wasn't me
06:50No, they've ordered over a hundred cases of rock
07:00Yeah, well we'd like to oblige mr. Neville, but we've got a slight problem with the sugar what's wrong with the sugar we haven't got
07:05Any?
07:07Well, we could but we've got a slight problem with the money don't say we haven't got any of that either
07:11We haven't paid a bill for six months
07:20No good screening
07:24We have to be calm and examine the facts now, then we haven't got any sugar because we haven't got any money
07:29We could so we could make some money by selling some rock
07:32But we can't do that because we haven't got any sugar on account of we haven't got any money
07:43How much do we owe well
07:451,268 pounds
07:48You better hang on to that mark you'll need that in the Isle of Man I
07:52Shall have to go to the bank. Perhaps they'll lend us some
07:54Oh, you must be joking. The only way you'll get any money out of our bank is to rob it
07:59You're underestimating my powers of persuasion bank managers are only human, you know, like us all mr. Neville. He might want to see your assets
08:09I'm game. It's for a good cause. I
08:13Think you're wasting your time not much faith in me. Have you how did you guess?
08:17We'll see a little flattery and a bit of buttering up. I shall have that bank manager eating out of my hand
08:23other banana
08:26Thank you, no sit down mr. Sutcliffe
08:31What a lovely bank you have here it's drafty it's noisy
08:37Color scheme gives me a headache. Oh
08:40Is that your wife? Oh, what an attractive woman?
08:44I can see by just looking at her now fond of you. She is
08:49How is she?
08:50Extremely. Well, she left me yesterday for another man
08:54You still got the dog I hope
08:58You bit me this morning
09:01But you've got your work
09:03Hit it. You don't I do
09:05You don't know what it's like sitting here day after day listening to people asking for overdrafts
09:10That's all they ever want overdrafts money for this money for that. I can't take much more
09:13I don't mind telling you there are days when I wish I'd never come into this office. I know exactly what you mean
09:21Anyway, what can I do for you?
09:23Well, I don't like to ask you really
09:26Nonsense come along. What is it?
09:28Excuse me. Mr. Robinson the security men are here. Oh, thank you miss Lloyd
09:33Forgive me. Mr. Sutcliffe. I shall be a moment
09:40Oh
09:46Miss Lloyd take the day off
09:57Hello give me some wrong numbers
10:03It's like a button
10:05Whatever it is. It doesn't work
10:08The seat of power well Sutcliffe, how much would you like thirty thousand forty thousand?
10:16Name your figure
10:19I was just keeping a seat warm for
10:26So it's an overdraft you want in just a teeny weenie weenie
10:32And what can you offer?
10:35What can you offer a security? Well, I could let you have my dangler
10:44I'm sorry. Mr. Sutcliffe, but we'll need rather more than that. I'm afraid we can't just hand out money
10:50Willy nilly to any Tom Dick or Harry. How about a Neville?
10:58Excuse me
11:00Oh
11:09When you were keeping my seat warm you didn't by any chance press that button did you oh, yes, I did
11:14But it's broken. That is the alarm bell to the police station you blithering idiot
11:19You realize what you've done you silly
11:30We are manager I thought he was committing a felony. Yes, he's broken my dangler
11:36Who pressed the alarm button? Oh, well, I can explain I don't wish to hear that
11:40Just get out of here and never let me see you again understand. No, no, just get out
11:45I expect at least to protect me not beat me up sick
11:49What does this mean? I don't get an overdraft
11:52Don't
11:59It's no good Dorothy we've had it we're in queer Street everything's fine come and meet mr. Pemberton
12:09This is my half-brother Neville Neville, this is mr. Pemberton. How do you do? How do you do?
12:14He's an old friend of daddy's and he's going to let us have the money
12:18Oh
12:21Don't mention it land that money's yours just as soon as you name the day. How about tomorrow?
12:31Well, I better go and tell our Fiona the good news I'll send around tonight Oh
12:37Fingers crossed
12:39I
12:45Let myself out
12:50He's a funny occitans
12:53Well, what does it matter so long as he's going to let us have the money?
12:55What's all this fingers crossed business and who's Fiona his wife? No, he's a widower
13:01Fiona is his daughter and she has to approve you see before he let us have the money approve of the business
13:08No approve of you me, yes, and if she likes you she'll accept your proposal of marriage
13:19I'd sooner be in queer Street
13:38Oh
13:49Miss Dorothy, if you don't mind my saying so you
13:52Look beautiful tonight
13:55Thank you. You know when I came in and saw you standing there. I got an ache in the heart. Oh
14:03Well, I know how to cure that
14:06You do bicarbonate of soda
14:12Where's the where's the reluctant Romeo he's upstairs preparing for his meeting with Fiona. I hope she takes to him
14:19Oh, she better. Otherwise, we're all out on the street. Mr. He's not exactly a ladies man, is he?
14:24Oh now don't worry. That's all been taken care of. I told him to be more masculine and sexy. That'll be the day
14:36Oh
14:49Marvellous
14:57I'll have you know, this is the very latest fashion guaranteed to turn any woman on
15:01Well, it doesn't turn me on you're going to argue about it we can call the whole thing off now now Neville you promised
15:07I've gone right off the idea of marrying this fella's daughter
15:11Has he not got a son?
15:15You can't marry his son look at you cool
15:18Well, he hasn't got one. So it is up to you Neville to make the sacrifice. All right
15:22I mean, you know what to do, don't you?
15:24Of course, I know what to do. All I've got to do is ask her to marry me not right away
15:29No, you've got to woo her first I've never wooed anybody before I don't know how to go about it
15:35Oh, excuse me miss Dorothy. Excuse me. This is man's talk
15:40You've got to get her in the mood first compliment her flatterer then give her one
15:50Well a kiss then when her defenses are down you do it
15:55You pop it pop the question
15:58That'll be her let her in well forget I
16:02Don't feel very well
16:04Nonsense, all you've got to do is propose. What's she like this Fiona?
16:09Is she young?
16:11Young ish. She pretty
16:14Pretty ish. I think I'll go
16:19Miss Fiona Pemberton
16:22What a shame you've just missed Neville he had to go to Blackpool Bobby's had trouble with his chipper
16:29Take no notice Fiona. It's just a little joke, isn't it? Neville? Yes. Oh
16:35Yes, very amusing
16:41We leave you two together must you go
16:46Well
16:48Well, it's been a funny sort of a day, isn't it?
16:54Why don't we sit down what's a good idea?
16:58I
17:17Sit over here
17:28I
17:35Like your outfit, thank you. I
17:40Find it very stimulating. Oh, that's nice
17:45It makes you look so
17:48virile
17:50It's very warm in here
17:53I'm quite chilly
17:59Oh
18:03Daddy said you had something to ask me. Yes. Well, go on then
18:11Ask me
18:13Well, well, yes
18:16That is to say yes
18:18Or to put it another way
18:21Would you like a cup of tea?
18:24Don't be shy well, I can't help it. I've read a very sheltered life
18:28Look me in the eyes put your hand on my heart. Oh, I dance. It's warm
18:34Well, can't you feel your libido rising?
18:44Think it's these tights
18:58Oh
19:29I
19:34Just pop in mr. Now, we'll tell you we've had a confinement of sugar and we're back in production again. Oh
19:39So they're all right. You've gone white. I feel white. I've decided to scrub my nuptials
19:46That sounds very painful
19:49My marriage nuptials scrub your marriage. No, you can't do that. Do you know what people get up to when they get married?
19:57Well, I've got a rough idea
19:59Just been reading about it in this book. It's put me right off. Oh, don't let that worry you wouldn't mind
20:04I'm only up to page three
20:08You'll get the hang of it in time
20:13Look at that picture
20:16God he's a big fella, isn't he?
20:27I
20:32Think you ought to take the socks off, don't you?
20:36Yeah anymore
20:39It's too disgusting look some people enjoy this. Oh, I can't do it. Look you'll get used to it
20:47If what's gonna happen to the rock factory then we're all gonna finish up the knackers yard, aren't we?
20:57Apart from that, I've got a bad back
20:59No, it's no good Wilf. I've made up my mind. It's definitely off
21:04Your bride-to-be is here and she wants to talk to you about the arrangements good. So do I
21:18I think Neville's beginning to like the idea of getting married Fiona. Good morning, my little cherub
21:26Fiona there's something very important. I must discuss with you about us the wedding and our future
21:31Oh, I couldn't agree more. Now. I'd like one straight away
21:41There's something very important I've got to say to you and I've got something very important to say to you, too
21:46I can't tell you how happy I am. No, no, please. No. No, let me finish now
21:52I know I'm not beautiful or anything and and I honestly never thought that any man would want to marry me and now you've come
21:59Along and I I can't tell you how happy I am
22:11Now what was the important thing that you had to say to me am I going to have a white wedding
22:17Well
22:22That's it yes Wilf told me how did she take it I couldn't bring myself to tell her it would have broken her heart
22:32You can go through with it I'd rather kill myself
22:35That's all you think about is money money money. Well, I'm not going to marry Fiona and that's it
22:41Well, what are you going to do? I'm going to see mr. Pemberton and tell him the truth. At least his heart won't be broken
22:47No, something else might be
22:55Cheers dad. Oh
22:58You're back. Yeah, you saw mr. Pemberton. I did. I've just been telling the staff. They're out of a job
23:04Well, you better go and tell them that they've been reinstated
23:08Reinstated I mean, where's the money coming from? Mr. Pemberton? You mean he's still going to finances
23:14He's coming around later to finalize the date for the wedding
23:44Oh
23:46Oh
24:10It's not mine I bought it for Dorothy that's if I ever get her to the altar
24:16Thank you so much for watching. Hope we see you next week. Good night. God bless