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00:30There's a place for us, somewhere a place for us, there we are love, fish chips and
00:44mushy peas.
00:45The best you'll get in Blackpool.
00:47Cheers.
00:48Take care.
00:49Excuse me a moment.
00:50Don't want to get me instrument mucky.
00:51Hello?
00:52Oh hello Bobby.
00:53It's my friend Bobby.
00:54How are you love?
00:55How's your chest?
00:56Oh you want to rub it with something.
00:57Rub it with some of that stuff in the bathroom.
00:58No not that on the floor, it'll send you clean round the bend.
00:59You know sometimes, you've knitted me what?
01:00A surprise.
01:01Oh what colour is it?
01:02Pink.
01:03Oh my favourite colour.
01:04Pink.
01:05Pink.
01:06Pink.
01:07Pink.
01:08Pink.
01:09Pink.
01:10Pink.
01:11Pink.
01:12Pink.
01:13Pink.
01:14Pink.
01:15Pink.
01:16Pink.
01:17Pink.
01:18Pink.
01:19Pink.
01:20Pink.
01:21Pink.
01:22My favourite colour.
01:23What is it?
01:24Well give me a clue.
01:28It's four inches long, and it's for keeping something warm.
01:35Dare I ask you?
01:37You must.
01:38Go on, tell me what it is.
01:40Well I'll see you tonight.
01:44Yeah.
01:45Alright then.
01:46Bye.
01:47Now then.
01:48Well what was it?
01:49An egg warmer.
01:50What can I do for you?
01:52What do you recommend? How about a nice piece of cod?
01:55Is it fresh? Fresh? I'll tell you how fresh it is.
01:58Not half an hour ago it was swimming about in the batter.
02:01All right, then. Cod and chips.
02:04Mushy peas? No, just fish and chips.
02:07Suit yourself.
02:12Salt and vinegar.
02:15That'll be 50p.
02:17Here we are. Thank you very much.
02:19Call again.
02:24Oh, I get better.
02:26Sorry.
02:28Now, then, are you Mr Neville Sutcliffe?
02:30Are you the Vat Man? No.
02:32In that case, I'm Neville Sutcliffe.
02:34I'm bold.
02:36Nothing to be ashamed of.
02:38That is my name, Bold.
02:40Sorry. I'm a solicitor.
02:42If it's anything to do with that incident on the beach
02:44with that large lady who was here last week on her holidays,
02:47that was completely an accident.
02:49I was just trying to get my raspberry ripple
02:51out of the top of her bikini
02:53when her husband came along with the most enormous...
02:55No, no.
02:57No, it's nothing to do with that.
02:59It is, as we say in our profession,
03:01something to your advantage.
03:03I'm sorry.
03:05It is, as we say in our profession,
03:07something to your advantage.
03:09Oh, I've gone all of a dither.
03:11Hang on, I'll shut the shop.
03:17Shall we take a seat?
03:19Oh, yes, thank you.
03:21Just a minute.
03:28Now, do you fancy a little nibble?
03:30No, thank you.
03:32I do a wonderful chip latte.
03:34Well, what's the good news?
03:36Now, Mr Sutcliffe, what do you know of your antecedents?
03:38Antecedents?
03:40Now, I've got an Auntie Alice, an Auntie Sarah, an Auntie Fanny.
03:42No, no, I'll start again.
03:44Do you know where you came from?
03:46Oh, yes. Squiresgate Orphanage.
03:48I was a little waif and stray left on the doorstep.
03:50Yes.
03:52Well, I have some information about your parents.
03:54You have?
03:56I have.
03:58I've gone all of a dither again.
04:00Now, your father was a soldier who was billeted here in Blackpool,
04:02and your mother was a waitress at Yates's Wine Lodge.
04:06You were a wartime baby.
04:08Your mother and father were two ships that passed in the night.
04:10Sounds to me as though they had a collision.
04:14Did they never get married?
04:16No.
04:18Oh, I say.
04:20That means I'm a little bit...
04:22I'm afraid so.
04:24Your father was drafted abroad before he had news of your impending arrival,
04:26so your mother left you at the orphanage,
04:28met and married an American, and went to live in Texas.
04:30Oh, it's worse than Crossroads.
04:32Your father got married and had a little daughter.
04:34Oh.
04:36So I've got a stepmother and half a sister.
04:38Uh, no.
04:40No, your stepmother died some years ago,
04:42and your father went into the rock business.
04:44Oh, did he have a group?
04:46No.
04:48Not rock and roll, no.
04:50He had a factory at Little Hampton.
04:52He made sticks of rock.
04:54My peppermint balls.
04:56I beg your pardon?
04:58Your little bag of peppermint balls.
05:00Oh, yes. Those were from your father.
05:02He never forgot you, and now you're in his will.
05:04Is he dead, then?
05:06I sincerely hope so. They buried him this morning.
05:10Oh.
05:12Oh, isn't that sad?
05:14Now, please don't upset yourself.
05:16No, please don't.
05:18Oh, no, but it's awful. I can't help it.
05:20Stop it, or you'll start me off in a moment.
05:22Oh, I know, but it's so sad.
05:24Yes, it is tragic.
05:26It's terrible.
05:28It's terrible.
05:30Oh, just to think, after all these years...
05:34I won't get any more peppermint balls.
05:56Is that the lot?
05:58Looks like it, Miss Dorothy.
06:00Perhaps you'll be on the next one.
06:02Who?
06:04Your half-brother. He's arriving from Blackpool this afternoon, isn't he?
06:06How did you know?
06:08Charlie Blackie down the Red Lion told me.
06:10He got it from Harry the postman,
06:12and he heard it from Mrs Wilmer at the corner shop.
06:14It's a wonder it wasn't on News at Ten.
06:20Oh, you. Pardon?
06:22I can't accept that.
06:24Your weight is 12 stone 7.
06:26That's not right.
06:28No, it isn't. It ought to be 10 stone 2.
06:30I know what happened.
06:32I had it in me hand.
06:34In the suitcase.
06:36Where's your railway ticket?
06:38There we are.
06:40Is there a telephone kiosk nearby?
06:42Over there.
06:44I want to have a tinkle.
06:46That's that way.
06:48Oh.
06:52I want to phone my friend Bobby,
06:54let him know I've arrived safely.
06:56He's looking after my chip shop while I'm down here.
07:04Thank you so much.
07:06Thank you!
07:08Be careful where you're poking.
07:10You've brought tears to me eyes.
07:12I wanted to use the telephone.
07:14Don't worry, dear. You're next.
07:26Hello?
07:28Hello?
07:30Hello, Bobby. That doesn't sound like you.
07:32You've been rubbing your chest with the wrong stuff.
07:34It's not Bobby.
07:36It's Bobby's Auntie Sissy.
07:38This is Neville.
07:40Could you speak up? Neville!
07:42Neville's not here.
07:44I'm sorry. He's gone to Little Hampton.
07:46Sorry!
07:52Hey!
07:54You're having another?
07:56No, I was cut off.
07:58Hurry up!
08:00All right, all right.
08:02Don't worry.
08:04It's ringing.
08:08Hello?
08:10Hello? Auntie Sissy?
08:12Yes?
08:14Oh, hello, Neville.
08:16There was a phone call for you a minute ago.
08:18That was me, you fool.
08:20What did you say?
08:22Oh, it doesn't matter.
08:24Is Bobby there?
08:26He's in the cellar soaking his addicts.
08:28Shall I get him for you?
08:30Well, I don't want to disturb him
08:32when he's doing that.
08:34Oh, yes, please, yes.
08:36Just a minute.
08:38Hello?
08:40Hello?
08:42Excuse me.
08:44You finished at last.
08:46Have you got change for 50p?
08:48No, I've only got 2p.
08:50Oh, that'll do.
08:58Hello?
09:00Hmm?
09:02Hello?
09:04Oh, hello. It's me again.
09:06Where have you been?
09:08You cut me off.
09:10Oh, no, there isn't time.
09:12Look, just tell him that if...
09:14What's that?
09:16I said there's no time.
09:18Just a minute.
09:20Oh, no.
09:22She's got the wanders again.
09:24It's quarter past.
09:26Huh?
09:28The time.
09:30Look, will you just tell Bobby
09:32that if I can't phone...
09:34I've had it. My time's up.
09:37It's all yours, dear.
09:39Oh, she's gone.
09:41Some people have no patience.
09:43Taxi!
09:54Oh! Not you again.
09:56This is my taxi.
09:58No, it isn't. It's mine.
10:00You're both wrong. It's mine.
10:02Why don't you share it?
10:04Oh, come on!
10:06Oh, ouch!
10:34£1.50, guv.
10:48Now, you owe me 75...
10:50Would you believe it?
10:52She's done a bunk again.
11:05I don't know what you're selling,
11:07but we don't want any.
11:09I'm not selling anything.
11:11I'm Neville Sutcliffe.
11:13Neville Sutcliffe?
11:15Oh, no, you're not.
11:17I am.
11:19Really? Neville Sutcliffe?
11:21In the flesh.
11:23Well, yeah, but I'm Wolf.
11:25I worked for your dad for years.
11:27God rest his soul.
11:29Oh, yes.
11:31I worked for your dad for years.
11:33God rest his soul.
11:38So you're Neville Sutcliffe.
11:40Well, you'd best come in.
11:44It came off in me hand.
11:54This way, Mr Neville.
11:56Thank you. Oh, this is nice.
11:59Something the matter?
12:01I can smell chips.
12:03Oh, that's me, I'm afraid.
12:05That's one of the penalties of being in the business.
12:08The pong tends to permeate.
12:10Oh, so that was my dad.
12:12Yes, that was him.
12:14God rest his soul.
12:19Well, I'll just go and tell Miss Dorothy you're here.
12:22Chips. I don't know.
12:24I don't know why you've missed each other at the station.
12:27She could have smelled you half a mile away.
12:30So you're my dad, then.
12:33Do you know, I've often wondered what you look like.
12:36Who was a naughty little Herbert?
12:40Miss Dorothy, that's Mr Neville.
12:44It's you.
12:46The telephone box. The taxi.
12:48You owe me 75p.
12:58APPLAUSE
13:09Hello, Bobby.
13:11Oh, it's me, Neville.
13:13No, love, no, I didn't sleep very well.
13:15I slept in me dad's bed.
13:17He's got a flock mattress.
13:19Trouble was, the flock was moving about all night.
13:23How are you, anyway?
13:25How's your chest?
13:26Oh, good.
13:28I must try some of that.
13:30No, I don't think she likes me very much.
13:33I'm about as welcome as woodworm in a wooden leg.
13:36What's she like?
13:38She'd turn a bottle of vinegar bitter.
13:42She puts on a lot of airs and graces,
13:44but underneath she's as common as muck.
13:46You know the sort I mean?
13:48All Persian lamb and no knickers.
13:52All right, love, I'll phone you tomorrow.
13:54OK, bye.
13:58How long have you been there?
14:00Long enough.
14:01All Persian lamb and no knickers, am I?
14:04You shouldn't have been listening.
14:06Anyway, you haven't exactly treated me like one of the family, have you?
14:10Oh, why did you do it, Daddy?
14:12Because Daddy was in love.
14:15Did you have ham?
14:17I beg your pardon?
14:19After the funeral, did you have ham?
14:21Certainly not.
14:23Salmon paste.
14:25Posh, too, eh?
14:27What does it feel like to have a half-brother?
14:30Wholly unpleasant.
14:32I know it must have been a bit of a shock to you.
14:34It was a shock to me.
14:36I suppose you're not entirely to blame.
14:38Still, before I fully accept you,
14:40you'll have to prove yourself to me.
14:42We hardly know each other.
14:46I mean prove yourself worthy of my respect.
14:49Well, I'll do me best.
14:51I thought I might pop down to the rock factory this morning.
14:54I expect they'll all be hard at it.
14:57You're staying, are you?
14:58Well, of course I'm staying.
14:59You know what it said in my dad's will?
15:01I have half the house and half the factory.
15:03Oh, you have half of everything.
15:05You mean there's more?
15:06Oh, yes.
15:07£30,000.
15:09£30,000!
15:11You cheeky old devil!
15:13I didn't know he had as much money as that.
15:16He hadn't. That's what he owes.
15:18Oh!
15:21Oh, I can't believe it!
15:43Oh, it's quite nice.
15:45Oh, hello.
15:46I'm...
15:47You don't have to tell me who you are.
15:49I can tell by the resemblance.
15:51Percy's the name?
15:52No, it's Neville.
15:54I'm Percy.
15:56Shall I go out and come in again?
15:57No, hang on.
15:59Wilf!
16:00Wilf!
16:01It's arrived.
16:03Charming.
16:04Wilf's in a control round here, I can tell you.
16:12This stuff's got a life of its own.
16:15Oh.
16:16Morning, Mr Neville.
16:17Morning.
16:18How's your rock cock?
16:23All right, don't stand there, go off.
16:25Go and fetch the others.
16:26Right on, Wilf.
16:29Oh, I can't get over it.
16:30Can't get over what?
16:31Your face.
16:32Well, it's not as bad as that, is it?
16:34Oh, no, no.
16:35You're the splitting image of your dad.
16:37Really?
16:38Yeah.
16:39Oh, absolutely.
16:40Chip off the old block.
16:41You knew my dad for a long time, then?
16:44Yes, I was his sugar boiler for over 20 years.
16:47God rest his soul.
16:50Tell me, how did he, um...
16:52He died on the job.
16:57Well, that must have been nice for him.
17:00It was here, here in the works.
17:02He was pulling it when he went.
17:07You know, it's a technical term in the industry,
17:09it's pulling the rock lengthways to measure it.
17:11It's a relief.
17:12Yeah.
17:13It was too much for him.
17:14He hadn't got another pull left in him.
17:17What a shame.
17:18Well, that's life, isn't it?
17:19I'll tell you something, though.
17:20Your dad was a craftsman.
17:22Oh, come here, I'll show you something.
17:24It'll make you proud of him.
17:25Oh, these are our little treasures here.
17:27Look.
17:28Hand-carved by your dad out of rock.
17:30Oh.
17:32Say.
17:33Oh, a titty bottle.
17:36And another thing,
17:37your father was the first one to introduce rock teeth.
17:40Oh, my word.
17:42They look real.
17:43They are real.
17:46Don't worry, don't worry.
17:47They're not your dad's.
17:48It was a model he used for his inspiration.
17:50I'm glad.
17:51I wouldn't like to think of him
17:52wandering around heaven without his choppers.
17:54He was a genius, your father.
17:56Do you think I ought to meet everybody?
17:58A good idea.
17:59Pay attention, everybody.
18:01Right now, then, Mr Neville.
18:03This is Marilyn.
18:04Hello, Mr Neville.
18:07My word, you're a big girl, aren't you?
18:09Mr Neville, she's from Bristol.
18:11I thought she was.
18:15You don't get many of them in a quarter, do you?
18:18Cheeky.
18:20She's very good at bending bananas.
18:23That's nice to know.
18:25Oh, that's how you do it, is it?
18:28Shall I let them have a bit, Will?
18:31Why not?
18:32Mr Neville, you fancy a bit?
18:34Mr Neville, you fancy a bit?
18:38What are you?
18:39Yes, why not?
18:40Strawberry flavour.
18:42I think you'll like it.
18:44Oh, it's very tasty.
18:45It's nice, isn't it?
18:46Thank you, Marilyn.
18:47And now, this is Cleo.
18:48Hello.
18:50And what exotic part of the world are you from?
18:52Jamaica? Barbados? Trinidad?
18:55Cockfosters.
18:58That's nice.
19:00I hope you ain't colour prejudice.
19:02Oh, of course not, dear.
19:03I love black pudding.
19:06And then we move on, of course, to Mara.
19:08How do you do?
19:13Is she all right?
19:14Is anything the matter?
19:15I don't know.
19:16Oh, looking at you takes me back nearly 30 years.
19:19When I first came here to work for your father.
19:22I know.
19:23She had a soft spot for your dad.
19:25Didn't you, for his dad?
19:26A soft spot.
19:27Yes, we was very close.
19:29It was always a pleasure working under him.
19:31Yes, I'm sure it was.
19:33And, of course, you've met Percy, haven't you?
19:35Yes, thank you very much.
19:36Excuse me, Mr Neville.
19:38What is it, dear?
19:39What's going to happen to the rest of us now that Mr Herbert's gone?
19:42Nothing.
19:43I hope you'll carry on doing for me exactly what you did for my dad.
19:46If I was a few years younger, I would.
19:50Neville.
19:51Neville.
19:52We've had it.
19:53We've all had it.
19:54Oh, you speak for yourself.
19:56Now, the bank's been on the phone.
19:58They say if the overdraft isn't paid within seven days,
20:01we've got to go into liquidation.
20:03Oh, Mr Neville, what are we going to do now?
20:06No, my dear.
20:07You carry on bending your bananas.
20:09I'll straighten it out.
20:19Oh, just what I needed.
20:21Right, everybody.
20:22Sit yourselves down.
20:24Oh, you have done.
20:25Now, just one minute.
20:27Now, Neville, what is going on?
20:29Calm yourself and all will be revealed.
20:33Mr Neville, are you going to strip off?
20:36Does she never think of anything else?
20:38As far as Marilyn's concerned, there isn't anything else.
20:41Now, as you may know, things look very black.
20:44You can say that again.
20:47Not you, dear.
20:48But I've solved our problem.
20:50How?
20:51Well, I've sold my fish and chip shop to my friend Bobby
20:53and the money is going to be paid into our bank today.
20:56Marvellous!
20:58How can we ever thank you?
21:00Well, I'm sure I'll think of something.
21:02Now, come along.
21:03Off to work.
21:11Well, Dorothy, you haven't said much.
21:13No.
21:15It appears that I've misjudged you.
21:17You're not really what you seem.
21:19No, a lot of people make that mistake.
21:23Thank you very much for what you've done.
21:25It was the least I could do.
21:27Don't worry, Dad.
21:28We won't let your rock works crumble.
21:30There's plenty of good pulls left in us.
21:43And this is what I want.
21:45Hundreds of them coming off the assembly line.
21:48We must keep going like we did before,
21:50keeping the wheels of the little Hampton Rock factory
21:52turning faster than ever.
21:54Percy, turn the wheel and let's get cracking.
22:02I don't care what we do, we'll just be...
22:24Woo!
22:50Bobby always said I'd come to a sticky end.
22:53I don't know which end he meant.
22:55Thanks ever so much for watching.
22:57Hope we'll see you next week.
22:59Goodnight. God bless.