Remington Steele S01E07
Remington Steele S01E07
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Charlotte Knight? Are you married to Charlotte Knight?
00:06Look at her. She's inspirational, isn't she?
00:13Charlotte Knight killed her husband. I'm Remington Steele.
00:17Oh, my goodness. Mitchell Knight didn't fall in a drunken accident.
00:21Mitchell Knight jumped. I know whoever wrote the third book killed
00:25Mitchell Knight. How do you know that?
00:27I can smell it. I don't know who did it.
00:29What? What do you mean you don't know who did it?
00:31You always know who did it. Try this for a deep, dark secret.
00:39The great detective Remington Steele? He doesn't exist.
00:44I invented him. Follow.
00:46I always loved excitement. So I studied and apprenticed and put my name
00:51on an office. But absolutely nobody knocked down my door.
00:55A female private investigator seemed so feminine. So I invented a superior, a decidedly masculine
01:04superior. Suddenly there were cases around the block.
01:07It was working like a charm. Until the day he walked in with his blue eyes
01:13and mysterious past. And before I knew it, he assumed Remington
01:17Steele's identity. Now I do the work and he takes the vows.
01:23It's a dangerous way to live, but as long as people buy it, I can get the job done.
01:29We never mix business with pleasure. Well, almost never.
01:35I don't even know his real name.
02:35Charlotte? Charlotte?
02:56I know you're listening to me, Charlotte. Hear me.
03:01I've just read the new manuscript. What do you want me to make of it, Charlotte?
03:07You know I can't stand still for this. I won't.
03:18It's as simple as that. Charlotte? Charlotte?
03:37Eleven o'clock and the phone hasn't rung. Nobody's waiting in reception.
03:41Laura, it's been this way for a week. Happens every year this time.
03:46Holidays, peace on earth, goodwill to all men. Nice thoughts, but it really raises havoc
03:54with the balance sheets. Laura, a ten-letter word for lexicon?
03:59You look it up? Of course I did.
04:02Dictionary. How long does this usually last?
04:09Till after New Year's. Have to give everyone's resolutions time to wear off.
04:16What I wouldn't give for a nice, juicy murder.
04:29Scene about town famous sleuth Remington Steele and publishing kingpin Russell Forsythe.
04:34Can a Remington Steele book be far behind? He writes.
04:38When I get through with him, he won't be able to read. Where is Dostoyevsky?
04:45Chapter one. It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.
04:53Shouldn't that be, it was both the best and the worst of times?
04:58Really? Yes, you're quite right. Much more economical.
05:13How dare you? I feel the creative juices ebbing.
05:19Perhaps we should call it a day. Who is Russell Forsythe?
05:26Russell Forsythe? A most successful publisher and a man of great taste.
05:31He's asked me to write a book. Remington Steele's Ten Most Famous Cases.
05:38Planning a career in fiction, are we? Correct me if I'm wrong, Miss Holt,
05:42but I sense a certain lack of enthusiasm on your behalf.
05:47You haven't had ten most famous cases. You haven't had ten cases.
05:51Really, Laura, this preoccupation with details. I'm going to tell you something.
05:55Listen to it. Think about it. Digest it. Try to remember it.
06:00You are not Remington Steele. I made him up. You are playing a part for me.
06:06I want you to pick up that phone, call Russell Forsythe,
06:09and tell him you've had a change of heart. Or shall I?
06:13A book by and about Remington Steele could create a demand for the agency services
06:17where people have never even heard of us before.
06:21Imagine. Ranches in New York. Paris. London.
06:24Why, we could end up in shopping malls. Think of it, Laura.
06:28Whole families going to the mall. Buying sneakers.
06:30Picking up snow tires. Leaving clues.
06:34Dial. As it happens, Russell's invited me to a party this evening.
06:39I'd surely hate to spoil the frivolity with business talk, but if I must...
06:43You must. What time will you be picking me up?
06:48Oh.
06:54So who else is going to be at this party?
06:57Actually, it's being held to celebrate the completion of a new manuscript by Charlotte Knight.
07:02Charlotte Knight? Mm-hmm.
07:04Have you ever read any of her books?
07:07Every thigh is creamy white. Every breast is full and heaving.
07:12Men don't caress their women. They seize them.
07:15And people don't meet and fall in love.
07:17They have zipless encounters and disappear into the night.
07:21How quaint. Sounds as if you're quite a fan of this Miss Knight.
07:26Well, no, no, no. I've... I've never actually read any of her books.
07:31Of course.
07:34I've just heard about them. Mm-hmm.
07:36Reading is such a chore. Yes.
07:45Come on.
08:03Do you see him yet? I don't want to waste a lot of time on this.
08:07Laura, I do think we should wait for an opportune moment.
08:10I just don't want you beating around the bush.
08:12Bush beating? Me?
08:14Oh. Deal.
08:16Do keep in mind that these people think you work for me.
08:18So you took me up on my invitation.
08:20Does this mean you're serious about my proposition?
08:22Russell Forsythe, Laura Holt, my most valued associate,
08:25and an integral part of whatever arrangement we finally agree to.
08:29Agree to? Oh, that's another conversation.
08:32I'm just thrilled that both of you came.
08:34Now, why don't you go, nosh, drink, and then, when you're under the influence,
08:39I'll come back and we'll hammer out a deal, okay?
08:42I don't think he got the message. I don't think so.
08:45Just a second.
08:47Remy to Steele. Yes.
08:49Oh, this is a treat.
08:51When Russ told me you might be coming,
08:54my wife Charlotte reads about you all the time.
08:57Charlotte?
08:59Charlotte Knight? Are you married to Charlotte Knight?
09:02The man behind the woman.
09:05Not what you expected, huh?
09:07Well... Mr. Knight, Laura Holt, my associate.
09:10Very much the woman behind the man.
09:12It's a real pleasure. I've read all of it. Really?
09:15Don't be embarrassed. Nobody admits to reading Charlotte's books,
09:19but they sell three million copies.
09:22Listen, I realize this is hardly the place to discuss business,
09:27but I wonder if I can impose on the two of you to step out on the balcony with me.
09:40Come on.
09:58Thirty-five floors up.
10:00Beautiful.
10:02Magnificent.
10:04Idiotic.
10:07Thirty-five floors up in Los Angeles.
10:10But Charlotte adores it.
10:15Look at her.
10:17She's...
10:19She's inspirational, isn't she?
10:22Sometimes I sit for hours...
10:25just watching her move.
10:28The way her body rises and falls when she breathes.
10:32The way it glistens when she perspires.
10:37The man with her is Tony, our gardener.
10:40Can't let the lawn go when you're 35 floors up.
10:44Last year, she wrote him off on her taxes as research.
10:48Good thing I'm not the jealous type, huh?
10:55Have you heard about the new manuscript?
10:58Between us, I don't think it quite measures up to the first two.
11:02But then they can't all be gems, can they?
11:06I suppose not.
11:08The reason I ask you both to come out here...
11:11I think I might have a little something you'll find interesting.
11:15As you know, my wife is a famous author...
11:19with a reputation for writing, shall we say...
11:23provocative literature.
11:25My wife's first book, Twice Nightly...
11:29a work of fiction?
11:31Hardly.
11:34The first four years of our marriage.
11:37My wife's second book, Bated Breath...
11:41the second four years of our marriage.
11:44The new book, Prone Positions...
11:47it's an erotic thriller.
11:49You know what it's about?
11:51One can only imagine.
11:53It's about a woman who kills her husband.
11:56Mr. Steele, Miss Holt...
11:59I'm concerned.
12:01Murder? Husband murdered?
12:03May I ask how?
12:05He's thrown off a 35th-floor balcony.
12:08Magnificent. Can we go in now?
12:10You think I've had too much scotch?
12:13I saw it with my own two eyes.
12:15Neatly typed. Right there in black and white.
12:18Mr. Knight, if you're truly afraid your wife is planning to murder you...
12:22Leave. Leave Charlotte.
12:26I couldn't do that.
12:29I can't leave her...
12:33and she can't leave me.
12:35We're supposed to be a team, you know.
12:38Then how can we help you?
12:40That is, if you're asking for our help.
12:43You're right.
12:45Maybe this is premature.
12:47Well, then...
12:49I'm sorry to have bothered you.
12:53I do hope you enjoy the party.
12:56I suspect it may prove to be quite...
13:00revealing.
13:02What an odd little man.
13:05It's hard to believe that he is married to her.
13:11Secrets that bind two people together.
13:14What a confounding mystery.
13:16I don't like this.
13:18I don't like it either.
13:21I don't like this place.
13:23I don't like these people.
13:25Why don't we just find Russell Forsythe,
13:27tell him the sad tale of your writing career,
13:29and get out of here?
13:31Aah!
13:43Give me that.
13:51Give me that.
14:05I don't think this is the opportune moment
14:07to discuss business.
14:10So, you're the famous Seamus, eh?
14:13Dennis Baker.
14:15Charlotte's agent.
14:17Laura Holt, uh, my associate.
14:19Hello.
14:21Quite an evening.
14:23You two know Mitch well?
14:25Actually, we met him for the first time tonight.
14:28He seemed very...
14:30Drunk?
14:32That was Mitch.
14:34He's a good guy.
14:36He's a good guy.
14:38That was Mitch.
14:40People would see Charlotte on television
14:42say to themselves,
14:44what I wouldn't give to spend a night next to that.
14:46But it takes its toll.
14:48Like owning Fort Knox,
14:50you're so busy guarding it,
14:52you can't enjoy spending it.
14:54Mitch.
14:56Stupid fool.
14:58Never could hold his liquor.
15:04He would have had to be
15:07in order to fall over that railing.
15:09Don't you think?
15:11What are you getting at?
15:13She'll be all right.
15:15Tony's with her.
15:17Does everybody know everybody?
15:19Aren't either of you concerned?
15:21Mitchell Knight just died
15:23in a manner identical to the one
15:25his wife described in a new book.
15:27I'm sorry, Miss Holt.
15:29You've lost me.
15:31You mean to say there is no scene
15:33of a man falling 35 floors
15:36or, to each other,
15:38that nobody has a chance to fall 35 floors?
15:40Here's a copy of the manuscript.
15:42Read it, if you can.
15:44I was in the Navy and I blushed.
15:48I see a look in your eye.
15:50Does that mean that you know something
15:52that we should?
15:54Forgive us, gentlemen.
15:56Miss Holt and I deal in death daily.
15:58Occasionally our imaginations
16:00tend to run away with us
16:02and we tend to look for treachery
16:05A little treachery could have gone
16:07a long way this evening.
16:09I'm not opposed to calling your book
16:11Remington Steele's 11 Most Famous Cases.
16:13Russ, they haven't even hosed
16:15Mitchell's blood off the sidewalk.
16:17You wouldn't negotiate the deal, Dennis?
16:19About that book, Russ?
16:21Yes.
16:23Won't it be wonderful?
16:25Remington Steele's book.
16:27Who knows?
16:29Maybe someday he'll even have
16:31his own cartoon show on Saturday mornings.
16:34Look at that.
16:36It's already twice its normal size.
16:38We really must develop a more practical
16:40signal for you to use when you wish
16:42to silence me.
16:44You can smell it, can't you?
16:46Oh, my humblest apologies.
16:48I suppose your feet have no odor.
16:50I mean the murder.
16:52Murder?
16:54What murder?
16:56The murder of Mitchell Knight.
16:58So that's why you tap-danced
17:00on my toes last night.
17:02You wanted to keep your hand in
17:04this ridiculous murder business.
17:06Charlotte Knight killed her husband.
17:08Laura, Mitchell Knight fell.
17:10He was highly intoxicated.
17:12Did you see the look in the man's eyes?
17:14He was seen in a lot of shows
17:16that aren't listed in the TV Guide.
17:18She wrote about it, made it part
17:20of the new manuscript, described
17:22every detail, then made sure
17:24that her husband saw it.
17:26Made sure it sent him running
17:28for the bottle.
17:30That's how drunk Mitchell was.
17:32Then she did it.
17:34She pushed or coaxed him over the side.
17:36Laura, Russell Forsythe told you
17:38there is no such murder in the new book.
17:40I said she was cocky, not an imbecile.
17:42Once Mitchell had read that scenario,
17:44it would be foolhardy to keep it in there.
17:46It certainly would make things
17:48easier if we could find that scene.
17:50Laura!
17:52Laura, you haven't been listening.
17:54There is no scene because there was no murder.
17:56I have an idea. Business is slow.
17:58Why don't we close down for a week or two?
18:00Perhaps all four of us could go away somewhere.
18:02The Caribbean. How about it?
18:04I've got work to do. Work? What work?
18:06We don't even have a client!
18:08I want to keep it down in here.
18:10There are people trying to sleep in the next office.
18:12Murphy, I'm glad you're here.
18:14Charlotte Knight, Russell Forsythe, Dennis Baker.
18:16Find out everything you can about them.
18:18Take it from me, Murphy.
18:20Don't waste your time. Laura, will you agree
18:22that if there is no death scene, there is no murder?
18:24Nothing personal, but all I've got is time.
18:26What are you driving at?
18:28I'm going to get every single scrapper paper
18:30ever written by Charlotte Knight.
18:32How are you going to do that?
18:34My mother, Mrs. Steele, always taught me
18:36it never hurts to ask.
18:38I'm also going to pick up
18:40four tickets to Jamaica.
18:42Pack light.
18:56Charlotte Knight, I'm Remington Steele.
18:58Oh, my goodness.
19:00You are, aren't you?
19:02Let me just get rid of
19:04a couple of things in here.
19:06We'll have a chat, okay?
19:20It certainly is wonderful
19:22of you to see me now.
19:24Especially now
19:26in your hour of grief.
19:30Grief, right.
19:32Let's be honest
19:34with each other, Mr. Steele.
19:36It must be more than apparent to you
19:38that I am far from devastated
19:40by Mitchell's passing.
19:42I had noticed a certain casual indifference.
19:44I just assumed
19:46you were putting up a good front.
19:48Really?
19:50Isn't that sweet?
19:54Don't misunderstand.
19:56I'm not made of stone, Mr. Steele.
20:04I loved Mitchell.
20:06I loved him very much.
20:08It just wasn't the love
20:10of a woman for her man.
20:18Am I making myself clear?
20:20Isabelle, Mrs. Knight,
20:22Isabelle.
20:26What's the matter?
20:30Do I make you nervous?
20:34Let me tell you why I'm here.
20:36Perhaps you've heard.
20:38Russell Forsythe has asked me
20:40to write a book.
20:42Isn't that thrilling?
20:44We are going to have so much in common.
20:46Yes, well,
20:48I was just wondering
20:50if I'm not being too personal.
20:52I don't think that's possible.
20:54Just how do you do it?
20:58Do you mind repeating that question?
21:00How do you do it?
21:02Do what?
21:04Write.
21:06What kind of a question is that?
21:08How do I write?
21:12I write, um,
21:14wonderfully.
21:16No, no, no.
21:18I mean, uh,
21:20do you use a pencil and paper,
21:22or do you type?
21:24Do you know what every chapter is going to be about
21:26before you put it on paper,
21:28or do you make it up as you go along?
21:30That really is why you came here, isn't it?
21:32Huh.
21:44I just want to make this clear from the outset,
21:46but I think this is a terrible waste of time.
21:48Good to see you, too.
21:50Brought popcorn,
21:52a diet soda,
21:54a little salami,
21:56a cheese.
21:58Do you really want to spend an evening doing this?
22:00Bring on the papers.
22:02I never know you wore glasses.
22:04I don't.
22:06Got them in college
22:08when I had a crush on my calc professor.
22:10Thought it would make me look brainier.
22:12Did it work?
22:14Mm-hmm.
22:16Wouldn't you like to know?
22:18All right. Let's read.
22:20Not read.
22:24Listen.
22:26Charlotte Knight doesn't write at all.
22:28She dictates.
22:30Dictates? Into one of these.
22:32Tiny tape recorder. Works on batteries.
22:34That way, wherever she is, whenever an idea strikes...
22:38And all these are...
22:40Each one is a chapter.
22:42Shall we begin?
22:44Let's.
22:46Chapter 7.
22:48He couldn't get over her.
22:50Velvet thighs
22:52and a crimson smile.
22:54Well,
22:56no one's jumping out of windows in that chapter, are they?
22:58Velvet thighs.
23:00Oh, my.
23:02Shall we, uh, press on?
23:04You know what I mean?
23:06Yes, by all means, press on.
23:08And he stood there, all of him,
23:10his body
23:12was a dare.
23:14A dare she decided
23:16to take.
23:18Let's say we break out the salami.
23:20What is it you think you're protecting me from?
23:22Who, me?
23:24Protecting you?
23:26Why, I wouldn't presume to do such a thing.
23:28Remember the calc professor?
23:30Hmm?
23:32The glasses worked.
23:34Did the trick, did they?
23:36Mm.
23:38So why don't you turn the tape back on
23:40and let's get this over with, okay?
23:42Okay.
23:44And...
23:46at that moment,
23:48they knew
23:50more about each other
23:52than either had thought possible.
23:54They didn't need
23:56words,
23:58only time
24:00and each other.
24:04First one wrong
24:06and then another.
24:10And then...
24:12he reached it.
24:14A window.
24:20And it was
24:22as if she had known
24:24for just the slightest...
24:26The letters.
24:30Barely enough for anyone on the street below
24:32to see anything.
24:34Oh, I'll be out in a minute, Mother.
24:36Listen.
24:38His face pressed to the glass.
24:40Disgusting.
24:42No, no, listen, listen.
24:44And he watched her.
24:46It sounds like Mitchell Knight.
24:48Day after day,
24:50studying her.
24:52The way her body would rise and fall
24:54every time she took a breath.
24:56The way it glistened
24:58when she would perspire.
25:00It is Mitchell Knight.
25:02He wrote the books.
25:06Where does that leave us?
25:08Nowhere near the Caribbean.
25:14And he watched her.
25:16Day after day,
25:18studying her.
25:20The way her body would rise and fall
25:22every time she took a breath.
25:24The way it glistened
25:26when she would perspire.
25:28As I was explaining to my associate, Miss Holt,
25:30I'm sure there's a logical explanation for all of this.
25:32From these tape recordings,
25:34it would almost appear that
25:36Mitchell Knight is the writer.
25:38Steele, stop it already.
25:40It's not necessary. You got us.
25:42Mitchell was the writer.
25:44We had this machine made.
25:46He could dictate, and then when you played it back
25:48on a regular machine, the voice was higher.
25:50It sounded like a woman.
25:52Hopefully like Charlotte's.
25:54So you got us, Steele.
25:56Damn, you're sharp.
25:58You didn't write any of the books?
26:00It was Mitchell.
26:02It was all Mitchell.
26:04I represented Mitchell Knight
26:06for 17 years.
26:08If he made $3,000 a year writing,
26:10it was a banner year.
26:12Then,
26:14seven years ago, I sent Russ
26:16Mitch's manuscript for twice nightly.
26:18It left a stain on my fingers.
26:20Garbage.
26:22Pure garbage.
26:24I read the first 35 pages
26:26and threw it away.
26:28But that night,
26:30I went to a party.
26:32Dennis was there. Mitch was there.
26:34And so was his new wife, Charlotte.
26:36Remember that night, Charlotte?
26:38Charlotte did everything she could
26:40to
26:42persuade me
26:44to purchase her husband's manuscript.
26:46We spent a lot of time together.
26:48He'd go on and on. She'd talk about
26:50that character and this character,
26:52and didn't I like this little plot twist?
26:54It worked. I was entranced.
26:56Out of his mouth,
26:58it sounded like pornography,
27:00but out of her mouth,
27:02it was...
27:04erotica.
27:06Charlotte was a natural for the talk shows.
27:08Very visual.
27:10Seemed like a wonderful idea.
27:12So you created a fictitious person
27:14to sell the books to the public.
27:16Which brings us to a rather
27:18delicate point in the conversation.
27:20Charlotte Knight is more than just a lady
27:22who writes acceptably dirty books.
27:24She's a whole industry.
27:26Loose talk could put
27:28an awful lot of people out of work.
27:30Look, isn't there something we can do
27:32to help you see your way clear
27:34to, uh...
27:36forget all this?
27:38Does it matter?
27:40Does it really matter
27:42whether or not the Charlotte Knight
27:44that we see on television or read in the magazines
27:46is the same person who writes the books?
27:48Of course not.
27:50What's important
27:52is the myth.
27:54I've heard a rumor that Thomas Edison
27:56didn't really invent the light bulb.
27:58Some man who worked for him did.
28:00And for that matter, William Shakespeare.
28:02A lot of scholars don't think he really wrote all of those plays.
28:04But does that matter?
28:06What matters is what gives the public pleasure.
28:08And if lonely people
28:10all over the world
28:12prefer to think that this beautiful,
28:14sensuous woman
28:16writes those
28:18vividly
28:20evocative books,
28:22then I say,
28:24what a beautiful secret
28:26to be asked to keep.
28:28I think you can rest assured
28:30Mr. Steele and I understand your problem.
28:32Better than you know.
28:34However, we're still left
28:36with one unfortunate complication.
28:38What's that?
28:40Mr. Steele is convinced
28:42that someone murdered Mitchell Knight.
28:44I am?
28:46Ahem.
28:48Convinced.
28:50Convinced?
28:52Am I really?
28:54Absolutely. Positively.
28:56May I ask why?
28:58I can still smell it.
29:00Of course you can.
29:02Any calls?
29:04Huh.
29:10Would you like to know what I think?
29:12About the murder?
29:14A workaholic. That's what you are.
29:16No. Really? Terrible vice.
29:18You ought to try it sometime.
29:20It just drives you crazy that there are no
29:22mysteries to solve, no clues to
29:24ponder, no suspects to, uh,
29:26suspect. Ha! Speak for yourself.
29:28I have a mystery to solve.
29:30I have clues to ponder.
29:32I have suspects to suspect.
29:34Oh, yes, indeed. Nothing frightens Laura Holt
29:36like a little time in her hands.
29:38Oh, heaven forbid that she has a second to stop and think
29:40and feel and perhaps, perhaps
29:42get close to some of the people she works with.
29:44I heard fighting, so I knew Mom
29:46and Dad were home. Murphy,
29:48in all the times that you have known Laura, have you ever
29:50come into this office and found her sitting here
29:52doing nothing? No, I can't
29:54say that I have. Because you haven't. Because she's
29:56always doing something. Because she's always
29:58thinking. Because she's always making little lists.
30:00Get out of my office!
30:02Check her top drawer, Murphy. I bet it's chock-full of lists.
30:04I'd really rather not. Out!
30:06I bet you're one of those kind of people who never forgets a birthday.
30:08Can I go now? I bet you know what kind of clothes you're gonna wear
30:10to work the day after tomorrow. That's it!
30:12I'm going. That's it, is it? That's it, then.
30:14Go! Go! Go home! You'll probably do something useful
30:16like line your shelves! Dye your
30:18stockings! Huh?
30:20Laura!
30:22Laura!
30:24Laura! Laura! Laura!
30:26Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
30:28Last chance.
30:30Go away with me.
30:36What about the case? Laura, there is no case.
30:38How can you say that?
30:40In order for there to be a case, there has to be a mystery,
30:42a circumstance, an occurrence that remains
30:44unexplained.
30:46Who told you that?
30:48You.
30:50Mitchell Knight fell 35
30:52floors to his death. Why?
30:54He was drunk as a skunk in a funk. Next case!
30:56You're wrong!
30:58About Mitchell Knight?
31:00Or about you?
31:08Come on.
31:18I know Charlotte will be upset
31:20that she missed you.
31:22Oh.
31:24Do you know what you're looking for?
31:26Uh, well, physical, um...
31:28evidence.
31:30Gotcha.
31:32I just find it hard to believe
31:34that a man would trip and fall
31:36over a three-and-a-half-foot wall.
31:38Ever since Mitchell Knight's
31:40death, I've had this feeling...
31:42That people aren't keeping things from you,
31:44that, uh, all is not as it
31:46appears to be, that there's a deep,
31:48dark secret somewhere.
31:50Pick a cliche, any cliche.
31:52Well, thank you for
31:54letting me look around and
31:56tell Charlotte I'm sorry I missed her.
31:58I'm sorry? Now, listen, I, uh...
32:00I've never met a female private investigator before.
32:02I was just trying to be funny.
32:04I'm not known for turning out comedians.
32:06You went to Harvard.
32:08Well, somebody's got to.
32:10Now, don't be so quick to run away.
32:12How often do you meet an Ivy League gigolo?
32:14Is that what you are? A gigolo?
32:16Well, that's what some people like to think.
32:18Like I said before,
32:20whatever gives the public pleasure...
32:22I'm not the public.
32:24Then I'm not a gigolo.
32:28I graduated with an M.F.A.
32:30in 1977.
32:32I wrote a novel for my thesis,
32:34Lamplight.
32:36A mutual friend introduced me to Charlotte,
32:38and, uh, she's been something
32:40of a mentor.
32:42A matter of fact, she's persuaded Forsythe
32:44to publish Lamplight, and I've been living here
32:46revising it for the last six months.
32:48How did Mitchell
32:50feel about that?
32:52Mitchell didn't feel much
32:54of anything. Mitchell was pickled most of the time.
32:56Actually, he read the book,
32:58was moved by it.
33:00Uh, I don't think
33:02it was his cup of tea. In my book,
33:04when two people meet, they talk.
33:08This thing is
33:10really into your skin, isn't it?
33:12Mitchell Knight's death?
33:14I suppose
33:16I react to a mystery the way you do
33:18to a half-written chapter.
33:20I've been known to simply throw the first half out.
33:22Are you suggesting I throw away my questions
33:24about Mitchell Knight's death?
33:26I'm suggesting that you're asking the wrong questions.
33:28You're right.
33:30Mitchell Knight didn't fall
33:32in a drunken accident.
33:34He didn't.
33:36But he wasn't murdered, either.
33:38This may be difficult for you and me to appreciate,
33:40but in his own mind,
33:42Mitchell Knight was a very accomplished man,
33:44except absolutely
33:46no one knew it.
33:48Can you imagine what it must have been like,
33:50working very hard, but having someone else
33:52win the plaudits?
33:54Miss Holt, the answer to your mystery
33:56is very simple
33:58and also very tragic.
34:00Mitchell Knight...
34:04jumped.
34:26Laurie, you were right all along.
34:28Of course there's a case.
34:30What?
34:34Prone positions.
34:36Chapter one.
34:38Okay, okay.
34:40Chapter one.
34:42Damn! Damn!
34:44Damn!
34:46What am I supposed to make of this?
34:48The Shining.
34:50What?
34:52Did you see The Shining?
34:54Michaelson plays a writer who agrees to become
34:56the caretaker of a lodge that's inaccessible all winter long.
34:58Unfortunately, he falls victim to cabin fever,
35:00becomes a star-craving loony,
35:02wanders around with a hatchet,
35:04and does a lot of jokes about The Tonight Show.
35:06You see everything, don't you?
35:08At one point in the film, he sits down to write.
35:10The camera slowly circles him as he types.
35:12And then we see it.
35:14All he's written is one line,
35:16over and over again.
35:18All work and no play
35:20makes Jack a dull boy.
35:22He was blocked. He couldn't write anything else.
35:24So maybe, just maybe,
35:26our ghostwriter had a ghostwriter.
35:28Exactly.
35:30That doesn't change the fact that there's no motive
35:32for killing Mitchell Knight.
35:34All those people stood to lose by his death.
35:36Don't you see? You were right all along.
35:38But, Laura, I know there's a case here.
35:40Based on what?
35:42Based on this tape?
35:44Okay, he was blocked.
35:46Maybe they even hired someone else to write the third book.
35:48What does that prove?
35:50These people...
35:52These people are creating fictions,
35:54foisting frauds on the public,
35:56exploiting talented underlings
35:58for the aggrandizement of a figurehead
36:00who contributes nothing but a winning personality and good looks.
36:02Trust me, Laura.
36:04It's my area.
36:06And that's why you think there's a case?
36:08It's more than that. Much more.
36:10I know whoever wrote the third book killed Mitchell Knight.
36:12How do you know that?
36:14I can smell it.
36:20So we have no motive?
36:22The motive depends on the guilty party.
36:24It's important that we remain flexible, Laura.
36:26No suspects?
36:28On the contrary, three.
36:30Russell, Dennis, Charlotte.
36:32Any one of them could have done it.
36:34Or not done it.
36:36Exciting, isn't it?
36:38In fact, we really don't have a case.
36:40Nonsense, Laura.
36:42If I've learned nothing else from you,
36:44I've learned to trust your instincts.
36:46You smelled a case. That's good enough for me.
36:48I'm on the scent.
37:00I'd love to know how you were able
37:02to get Russell, Charlotte, and Dennis together.
37:04Well, still, it's about time.
37:06Man calls and tells me
37:08he wants to nail down his book deal,
37:10asks if he gets a party like the one I threw for Charlotte.
37:12I put it all together,
37:14invite over the world, and what happens?
37:16The man is a half hour late.
37:18Yes, yes.
37:20Playful little bugger, isn't he?
37:22Mm-hmm.
37:26Could I have everybody's attention, please?
37:30Now, the reason I've asked
37:32all you freeloaders here...
37:36Well, aside from the fact that I keep hoping
37:38that you'll return the favor someday,
37:40is that I'd like you to meet an exciting man
37:42who's going to be writing
37:44the very first book for Forsythe House.
37:46I guess it's no secret
37:48the man is Remington Steele
37:50and the book, Remington Steele's
37:52Ten Most Famous Cases.
37:56Thank you, thank you, thank you.
37:58Thank you so much.
38:00I, too, am excited at the prospect
38:02of sharing my most exciting and intriguing cases
38:04with the reading public.
38:06Take, for instance,
38:08the case of the late ghostwriter.
38:10It's about a writer
38:12who falls 35 floors to his death.
38:16What the hell are you doing?
38:18About 20 minutes.
38:20Depends, though. This looks like a tough room.
38:22It all started
38:24at a party.
38:26A party
38:28very much
38:30like this one.
38:34And so I quickly deduced
38:36whoever it was who wrote the third book
38:38also murdered the ghostwriter.
38:40Suddenly,
38:42a baffling mystery fell into place,
38:44for there was but one person who fit the bill,
38:46a woman who longed for the day
38:48she could enjoy all the spoils of her fame
38:50and not have to share them with the man
38:52she regretfully called her husband.
38:54The woman who, in fact,
38:56wrote the third book, then pushed her husband
38:58off the 35th-floor balcony to his death,
39:00hoping to bury the secret
39:02of his ghostwriting forever.
39:04I'm speaking, of course,
39:06of none other than Charlotte Knight.
39:10All right.
39:12I didn't write the books.
39:14Shoot me.
39:16But I also didn't kill my husband.
39:18Mitchell made me who I am.
39:20Mitchell made me Charlotte Knight.
39:22Without Mitchell, I was nothing.
39:24Besides,
39:26if I could have written the third book,
39:28I could have written the first two, too.
39:30That makes sense, doesn't it?
39:32Of course it does,
39:34which is why I quickly dismissed Charlotte as a suspect
39:36and turned my attention to a man
39:38who'd been part of this charade all along,
39:40the man, in fact, who had negotiated
39:42the unprecedented film and paperback deals
39:44on the third book,
39:46an especially important negotiation,
39:48because he knew he would receive
39:50the lion's share of the money
39:52since he, in fact, authored the third book.
39:54I'm speaking, of course,
39:56of none other than the man
39:58who wrote the third book.
40:00He authored the third book.
40:02I'm speaking, of course, of Dennis Baker.
40:06Are you crazy?
40:08I didn't kill Mitchell Knight.
40:10Mitchell was one of my closest friends
40:12in all the world,
40:14which is why I didn't negotiate
40:16the deal on the third book.
40:18If he wasn't writing it,
40:20I didn't want anything to do with it.
40:26You didn't negotiate the deal on the third book?
40:28So I certainly didn't write it.
40:34Of course you didn't.
40:36The man who wrote the third book
40:38didn't need an agent.
40:40He would only be negotiating with himself,
40:42Russell Forsythe.
40:46This is not going to bode well
40:48for your next book deal, Steele.
40:50Knight was sick and tired
40:52of writing under his wife's name.
40:54He wanted to go public,
40:56but you were not allowed to do that
40:58because you knew
41:00Charlotte Knight was Forsythe House's biggest success.
41:02So you wrote the third book,
41:04then killed Mitchell Knight to keep the secret.
41:06The day before he died,
41:08Mitchell Knight signed Charlotte's name
41:10to a brand-new three-book deal, Steele.
41:12He did?
41:14He was thrilled about it.
41:16He was?
41:18Sure. His block was broken.
41:20Couldn't wait to get back to the tape recorder.
41:22Oh.
41:24Really?
41:26Ahem.
41:30Uh, would you, uh,
41:32excuse me for a moment?
41:40All right.
41:42Who did it?
41:44Who did what?
41:46Laura, I seem to be missing the final pages of this chapter,
41:48and an awful lot of people are waiting.
41:50Is this ending fast?
41:52I don't have an ending. I don't know who did it.
41:54What?
42:00It's all right.
42:02It's all right.
42:04Nothing's wrong.
42:06I'll, uh, I'll be with you in a minute.
42:10What do you mean you don't know who did it?
42:12You always know who did it.
42:14Don't this time. I told you I didn't even think there was a case.
42:16You think I would have dragged us all the way up here,
42:18all these nice, innocent people of murder,
42:20made a blooming idiot out of myself,
42:22if I didn't think that when everything went awry,
42:24you'd be there to jump in?
42:28I don't ask for much, Laura.
42:34Uh, ladies and gentlemen,
42:36my associate, Miss Holt,
42:38has, uh, pointed out to me
42:40that I would be doing myself
42:42and Forsyth House a huge disservice
42:44by divulging the ending to this case
42:46at this particular time.
42:50However...
42:52However, I do pledge to you
42:54the answer to this crime
42:56shall be contained in the pages of my new book.
42:58And I encourage you
43:00to go out and buy a copy
43:02and discover for yourselves
43:04the solution to this fascinating mystery.
43:16Feeling pretty low, huh?
43:18Mm-hmm.
43:20Why don't we just
43:22sign those book contracts then
43:24and call it a night?
43:28You really think Forsyth
43:30is gonna want to publish my book now?
43:32You're still Remington Steele.
43:34Oh.
43:36Tell me, darling,
43:38could we borrow your typewriter?
43:40Russell has some final clauses
43:42to type into a book contract.
43:50Heard you typing away in here.
43:52Couldn't you spare even a minute for the party?
43:54Deadline pressure.
43:56Maybe I should have called you.
43:58No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
44:00No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
44:02No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
44:04What's the party?
44:06Deadline pressure. Making revisions.
44:08A lot?
44:10Well, one big one
44:12and then a lot of small ones
44:14that were affected by the big one.
44:16All right, let's get this all down in a memo.
44:18Does anybody here type?
44:20The only Remington these nails have ever touched
44:22didn't have keys.
44:24Miss Hall typed.
44:26You don't have to tell the whole world.
44:28Never could type.
44:30But surely someone...
44:34All right.
44:3665 words per minute.
44:38Fire when ready.
44:50Didn't Mitchell Knight say
44:52the scene he read describing his death
44:54was neatly typed?
44:56Yes.
44:58But I don't think
45:00that's what he meant.
45:02Yes.
45:04Not dictated.
45:06Typed.
45:08Which would explain why there are no tapes at all
45:10for the third book.
45:12Tony wrote the third book, didn't he?
45:18Yes, indeed, Tony wrote the third book.
45:22What does that prove?
45:24These people were in a jam.
45:26The stores expected a book for the holidays
45:28and there was no book.
45:30So we made a deal.
45:32They promised to publish my book
45:34if I wrote their book.
45:36They also promised not to tell anyone
45:38that I wrote it.
45:40I'm a serious writer.
45:42I have my reputation to think of.
45:46Mystery solved. Case closed.
45:48The case of who wrote the third book,
45:50perhaps,
45:52but not of who killed Mitchell Knight.
45:54Laura, I thought we'd been through this.
45:56No one killed Mitch.
45:58Certainly not me.
46:00What possible motive could I have had?
46:02With Mitchell out of the way,
46:04you would write the Charlotte Knight books.
46:06Could be worth millions.
46:08Me?
46:10Write sleazy Charlotte Knight novels
46:12for the rest of my life.
46:14I'm a serious writer, Steele.
46:16Of course you are.
46:18Here you are,
46:20finally about to get
46:22your novel published.
46:24Is that why you killed him?
46:26What?
46:28He said it would be a revealing evening.
46:30Mitchell Knight planned to tell, didn't he?
46:32Walk out into that party
46:34and tell the world you wrote
46:36a tawdry little sex thriller.
46:38Goodbye, New York Times.
46:40Goodbye, Pulitzer Committee.
46:42Goodbye, Dick Cavett.
46:44What kind of revisions are you working on?
46:46Could it be you had to replace
46:48a scene involving a man
46:50being thrown from a balcony?
46:52You can't prove that.
46:54No, but I can.
46:56I have a copy of the original manuscript
46:58in my office.
47:00I've been meaning to read it.
47:16Lucky I had no feeling
47:18in that foot anyway.
47:20Hmm.
47:24She watched him.
47:26Watched him
47:28even as he refused to look up
47:30and see her.
47:32For she was the one
47:34who watched
47:36the watching
47:38wound here.
47:40You did that
47:42just a lick too well.
47:44Could it be that deep down inside you were born
47:46to write hot and steamy novels?
47:48Do you always have a little something
47:50to fall back on?
47:54What are you doing?
47:56Reading about us in the local paper.
47:58Ask me what I'm doing.
48:00What are you doing?
48:02Nothing.
48:04How do you like it?
48:06I don't know.
48:08It's not as easy as it looks.
48:10I have this burning desire
48:12to balance my checkbook.
48:14I have to fight it.
48:16Take a stroll at the height of the business day.
48:18Really?
48:20Truly.
48:22Responsibility is not a sickness.
48:24It's an art.
48:26Stick with me.
48:28I'm a master.
48:46© BF-WATCH TV 2021