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FunTranscript
00:00Bucky!
00:11Yay, Bucky!
00:13We'll help Daddy fix the van real good.
00:16That's the attitude, little Vic.
00:18Who says we can't do a simple little home tune-up
00:20without the assistance of a professional mechanic?
00:23Mommy say that.
00:24Especially after the old van gone boom on fire.
00:28Okay, let's start our home tune-up
00:30by taking a look at the plugs in the alternator.
00:32And then we'll check the belts and pulleys and wiring.
00:34And then we'll check the transmission fluid
00:36and, of course, the oil.
00:37We've got to look into the rad, too,
00:38see if we've got antifreeze in there.
00:40If we could do that...
00:41Hey! Uh-oh.
00:42What do you have?
00:45Hey, you know what I think?
00:49I think maybe Mom was right after all.
00:52We ought to give up on this whole mechanic thing
00:54and find ourselves a professional grease monkey.
00:57Grease monkey! Grease monkey! Grease monkey!
01:00Huh?
01:02Oh, on second thought,
01:03maybe we ought to trade this baby in for a brand-new van.
01:07Yay! Another new van!
01:21So come on down to Family Value Vans.
01:24Our motivational and courteous salesman
01:27will put a live spider down their pants
01:30to sell you a new van.
01:33Well, there's an offer we can't refuse.
01:35Honey, did you and little Vic
01:37do another one of your home tune-ups?
01:39Well, to tell you the truth,
01:41Berkeley did most of the work.
01:43Hey, look at the time.
01:46My online math club meets in three minutes.
01:50Ahh!
01:52It's Berkeley, and he's got something horrible.
01:55Daddy, daddy, it's the greasy monkey you asked me for.
01:59Yay, greasy monkey!
02:01Grease monkey?
02:03Oh, the grease monkey, of course.
02:07Berkeley, when I said grease monkey,
02:10I meant mechanic.
02:14The monkey can't get you with the window up.
02:18Ooh.
02:21Berkeley, I realize you put a lot of work
02:23into getting me this monkey
02:25and soaking him in what smells like popcorn butter,
02:29but hey, watch it.
02:31Whoa.
02:42Bye-bye, stupid family.
02:44I mean, stupid family.
02:46If that van doesn't do everything I said it would,
02:49I'll give you a full refund.
02:51I'm lying, of course.
02:53Just once, I'd like a little challenge.
03:09Ahh!
03:15Oh.
03:17Phew.
03:19Oh!
03:21Somebody get me down from here!
03:34Whoa!
03:36Huh?
03:38Who are you people?
03:40Whoa!
03:42We're the Patanskys,
03:44and I think we owe you a new pair of pants.
03:47But first, we need a brand-new van.
03:50Well, you've come to the right guy.
03:53Sam Slicky, van salesman extraordinaire.
03:56Mr. Slicky is a salesy man.
03:58Go get a spidey.
04:00A what?
04:04Ahh!
04:06What's he doing?
04:08It says on your radio ad
04:10that you'll stick a spider down your pants
04:12to sell us a new van.
04:14Dogs and children are so wonderfully literal.
04:17Ow! It bit me!
04:19I wouldn't be overly concerned.
04:21The Western Angora isn't poisonous.
04:23The worst possible side effect from a bite
04:25would be an itchy rash
04:27and a brief loss of depth perception.
04:29Please add a tube of rash cream to our bill.
04:33Oh, I'm fine.
04:35Let's just go look at some vans, huh?
04:42This is our new 1960s retro model.
04:46We call it the Groovy.
04:48Check out the authentic hippie love stickers.
04:51Check out the powerful three-cylinder engine.
04:56What?
05:02That's enough!
05:04And finally,
05:06check out the state-of-the-art anti-theft system.
05:09So much as brush against this baby
05:11and would-be thieves get the shock of their lives.
05:14It's not cool to steal, baby.
05:18Step away from my aura
05:20or I'll electrocute you.
05:26Oh.
05:30This is our Southwestern-themed model.
05:32It's called the Alguapu.
05:34Translated from native Hopi Indian,
05:36that means strong wind that brings sweet corn.
05:43I've shown you freaks...
05:45I mean, people
05:47practically every van we have in stock.
05:51Yay!
05:53Wait one minute.
05:55What's that?
05:58Except...
06:00that one.
06:02It's rugged and expensive
06:04and dependable
06:06and expensive and fiercely durable.
06:09But most of all,
06:11it's wonderfully expensive.
06:13We call it the Bad Dog.
06:17Not you, Birdly.
06:19It's the name of the spaceship.
06:21You're a good dog.
06:27Must... must see more.
06:29Must see more.
06:31Wow, there's plenty to see.
06:33It's got five airbags, three moon roofs,
06:35a coffee maker, satellite TV,
06:37variable-speed vibrating lumbar massage,
06:39and for variable rain conditions,
06:41it's got six 17-speed windshield wipers and...
06:45No!
06:49For some reason,
06:51Birdly absolutely despises windshield wipers.
06:53They make him so crazy
06:55that we drive blind through the rain
06:57rather than turn them on.
06:59Yes, well, back to the van for a moment.
07:01I'd like to show you.
07:03The van is very nice,
07:05but isn't it just a touch complicated?
07:07Expensive, yes.
07:09Complicated, no.
07:11In fact, it's so idiot-proof
07:13that Birdly challenged Dog to drive it.
07:15Go ahead.
07:17Hop in with me and take a test spin.
07:19Woof!
07:37Do something!
07:43Woof!
07:59Let's just hope for that poor man's sake
08:01he doesn't somehow turn on the windshield wipers.
08:04Turn away, kids.
08:14Woof!
08:16Hey!
08:18Bad dog!
08:23Now give me that remote.
08:27Good doggie.
08:29Replace.
08:34Woof!
08:36Yuck.
08:44Woof!
08:50Well, it might be expensive,
08:52but it sure is easy to drive.
08:54I've got one for me and one for my dog.
08:56I'm Bill Friendly,
08:58owner of Family Value Vans,
09:00and I'd like to make you an offer.
09:02Let me guess.
09:04You'll have the police suspend his jail sentence if he...
09:06No, no, no, no.
09:08I'm offering to give you
09:10this brand-new bad dog for free.
09:13Good dog, Berkley.
09:15It's just the name of the van.
09:17That's right.
09:19I'll give you the bad dog for free
09:21if you agree to have your clever little doggie
09:23come down to the lot for our monthly sales promos
09:25and work with Mr. Slicky.
09:27What do you say, Berkley?
09:29Would you like to spend more time
09:31playing with Mr. Slicky, you good dog?
09:33Woof!
09:37Hear that, Slicky?
09:39You've got a new partner.
09:42Woof, woof, woof!
09:44Yuck!
09:46Yuck!