• last year
First broadcast 12th October 2015.

Lee Mack

Simon Foster
Emily Grossman
Maggie Aderin-Pocock
John Sergeant

Sue Perkins
Stephen Mangan
Romesh Ranganathan

Anne-Marie Krachler
Jane Setter

Category

📺
TV
Transcript
00:00Hello and welcome to Duck, Wax, Don't Echo. This is a show where we reveal some of the
00:24most bizarre and brilliant facts you've ever heard. Each one of tonight's guests have brought
00:27along their own favourite facts which we'll be putting to the test to decide who's his best.
00:32So before we hear the facts let's see who's joining me tonight. Well a fact about my first
00:36guest is that he says his earliest memory was wearing a flowery shirt and a pink crochet tie
00:41to his Auntie Mary's wedding. I don't know what's more shocking the shirt,
00:44the tie or the fact that he married his auntie. Please welcome Stephen Mangan.
00:52And an interesting fact about my second guest is that he used to be a teacher but left that
00:56profession to become a stand-up comedian. Which now means he doesn't mind if people
00:59walk out of his shows so long as they don't run. Please welcome Ramesh Ranganathan.
01:06And the fact about my final guest is she hosted the program Super Sizes where she ate pig's
01:11nostrils, eyes and tails and a hare's ghoul bladder, fish eyes and cockroach testicles.
01:16Or as Ant and Dec call it, a mixed grill. Please welcome Sue Perkins.
01:20Okay let's get on with the show. All of tonight's guests have brought in a fact
01:28that they really love but who's his best? It's time for round one. Fact off.
01:36Stephen you're up first. What's your fact but before you read it explain that thing on your
01:41lip. What thing on my lip? There's a thing on your lip. It's alive. It's a moustache. Okay so
01:50moustache you say. It's four apart. I'm an actor. You're an actor. I'm playing a man in 1900. Right
01:56oh this is before sticky on moustaches were invented. Before sticky on moustaches. They
02:00don't stick to me. Why? They've, several makeup artists have tried and they do not stick. They're
02:04just, I have weird skin. They just ping off. Why do you get the ones that clip under the nostrils?
02:10I will suggest that to the next time. No messing about. They don't ping off. We've got that out
02:14the way. That's just in case people think they're flicked over to watch Magnum PI. So what is the,
02:18what is your fact? My fact Lee is this. There are more germs on lift buttons than on a toilet seat.
02:27For God's sake. Okay I mean you need to clarify that. Yeah. What type of toilet seat? What kind
02:32of lift button? Yeah. A type of toilet seat you sit on when you go to. No but I mean you know
02:37my toilet seat is very hygienic. What makes yours so hygienic? Clean it mate. That's how, that's
02:43that's how you do it. I'll give you a little tip. Lift it up before you use it. You won't need to
02:46wipe it. So why? How do you know? Why? Because people out there are picking their nose, putting
02:53their finger in their ears. For God's sake. Can you have gone for a nicer fact? Like ducklings are
02:57more cuddlier than kittens. Adjusting their undercarriages and then pressing button four on
03:01the lift. Who adjusts their undercarriage in a lift? That's my signature move. Is it? Yeah.
03:08Are you the kind of person that will in a lift you know just be a bit wary of the button? I will
03:13now. Now I know this fact. I mean that's pretty grim isn't it? There'll be a lot of that going on.
03:16Which floor would you like? Seven. Oh I hate that. What do you mean instead of? We're trying to use
03:20their fingers you know. They use that or they do that. Where on the seat, if you have to lift the
03:24seat up, where on the seat do you do you lift it up from? Well I um. Because I was trying to work
03:30out where there's likelihood. Do you get toilet paper on the hand and then lift it? I don't do
03:33that. See I do do that. You do that. To pick the toilet seat up. To get the lid up. It depends on
03:38your technique as well because different people have different techniques I think when they go to
03:41the toilet. Because some people use the you know I'll put the toilet seat down with my foot.
03:46Yeah. Then I'll hover. Yeah. You know they don't get involved with trying to do anything. Then you've
03:50got your others you know more aptly get the sandwiches out. We have a problem because obviously
03:55you know as a teacher you know sometimes you need to go to the toilet. It's very difficult.
03:59There's a number of issues going to the toilet as a teacher. First of all you don't want to go to the
04:03toilet near where there's a class queuing up. Because if they see you go in and then also see
04:08you coming out then they'll start saying I was in there too long. I think he was squeezing one out
04:11or whatever. You've got those issues. But also the other thing is that the toilets get a lot of use.
04:16When I was a teacher I found a secret toilet that nobody knew about. It wasn't on the school map.
04:24And I'll tell you what. They had a map of the toilets. No. Where did you teach? Hogwarts?
04:29But I'd like you know they'd have like that issue to the new kids. But this toilet wasn't listed on
04:34the map. It was off grid. I'll tell you what mate. That was the best 10 minutes of every day.
04:40I just wander down there. I just say kids get on with page 35. I'll be back in a bit. No I'm
04:45joking. I did it when I was on a free period. But I used to really. It's alright. We're not Ofsted.
04:53It's just this isn't going that well. I don't want to burn my bridges with the education department.
04:57But yeah and then I used to just wander down to the secret toilet and I'll tell you what
05:00it's magical. I tell you what Lou I would not go in is the one that I destroyed on a transatlantic
05:07flight which was in first class. I wasn't traveling in first class but I felt very sick and I thought
05:12I don't we're already having a nightmare here in steerage. I'm going to walk forward and I'm just
05:18going to go for it in the first class toilet. And I was very very sick and I thought I'd finished
05:22and I shut the door and there was a little bit of sick left which I then deposited on a man's
05:28shoe in front of me. Only to look up and find it was John Cusack. He slowly looked up and just gave
05:34me a sort of Mary Berry style stare. Long stare and that was it. Didn't say anything though.
05:41I scuttled back to where I belong. Right at the end of the plane. Okay you've heard what this lot
05:47think but there's only one way to find out for sure. Let's see what happened when we went to
05:50Birmingham with some cotton swabs.
06:00The toilet seat. A place shared by many different backsides as they take care of important business.
06:07It may have a reputation for being germ ridden but the reality is there are far filthier things
06:13like a seemingly innocent lift button. Don't just take my word for it. Here's our expert to explain
06:19why. There's an assumption that something such as a toilet seat is very dirty but because of
06:25that they are usually much more thoroughly cleaned than something fairly unassuming such as a lift
06:29button. Bacteria can be easily collected from places that humans come into contact with frequently.
06:35The levels of which we refer to as colony forming units. Previous tests of this nature have been done
06:40in public buildings such as airports, offices, restaurants and hospitals. In those studies higher
06:45levels of bacteria have consistently been found on things such as lift buttons rather than in or
06:50around toilet seats. Time to put the theory to the test. We sent our volunteers Craig and Greg
07:02to swab lifts and toilet seats to measure bacteria levels. To ensure fair results we selected four
07:09toilet seats and four lift buttons in buildings open to the public. All the men needed for their
07:16mission were swab kits, rubber gloves and a white coat to look the part and lucky old Craig he gets
07:24the toilet seats. He swabs the surface of toilet seat number one and the sample is sealed and
07:33labelled. The same procedure is repeated for toilet seat two, three and four.
07:44Meanwhile Greg takes swabs from lift buttons one, two, three and four in the same four buildings.
07:54With all the swabs taken we sent them off to the lab and eagerly awaited 24 hours for the results.
08:01Would the science hold true? The bacteria levels from each toilet seat gave us a remarkably low
08:08average of 10 colony forming units. In comparison the CFUs taken from the lift buttons gave us an
08:16average of 46, a staggering four times the amount of bacteria than on the toilet seats.
08:24The theory stands correct.
08:28So you're better off taking the stairs. Lift buttons have more bacteria on them than toilet
08:34seats. Well, so there's the proof. Hands come into far more contact with germs and bacteria than your
08:43bottoms. Yeah you try using that as an excuse when someone goes for a handshake and you grab their
08:47arse. So men are famously bad at aiming especially you know boys. I've got two young boys. Yeah it's
08:54like it's just carnage in there. The thing I've never understood all right is why doesn't everybody
09:01sit down? We're supposed to crouch in the way they do in Arab countries where you literally squat.
09:07You squat right down so your bum is near much nearer your ankles. I've got a western toilet
09:11at my house. Yeah I'm not showing off but I do. So in order to get as close to the crouching that
09:17you suggest do I have to stand on the toilet seat and crouch hover above? Wouldn't that be great if
09:22you know when you accidentally forget to lock the door. What are you doing? It's healthy. All right don't forget to
09:28wash your feet afterwards. Okay thankfully every week we are joined by our resident experts who can
09:34tell us a little bit more about this fact so please welcome specialist in cell biology and
09:37genetics Dr. Emily Grossman, rocket scientist Dr. Simon Foster and expert in space and structural
09:42engineering Dr. Maggie Adarin-Pocock otherwise known as the Verifiers.
09:50So Verifiers where else shouldn't we be sticking our fingers? When you start looking into this
09:55sort of thing you don't want to put your fingers anywhere ever again. Keyboards are really bad
09:59especially if you share them because obviously people are sneezing coughing eating all over them
10:03so they're basically like a plague pit. The worst thing is money, paper money because it gets passed
10:09around so much dropped everything is teeming with bacteria it's really dirty. I think we all believe
10:14that right? Yeah. And yet if I said to you lick a five pound note on my toilet seat you're still
10:19gonna lick the five right? Why don't money is smell that's what the queen doesn't carry. Fine then bring
10:24on my toilet seat. So that was Stephen's fact but how good was it? That's down to our studio audience
10:30so using your keypads on a scale of one to ten how impressed were you?
10:39So let's find out what the average rating was from our audience.
10:43Stephen they've given you a very average five.
10:47Do you think that's fair? It's moustachist is what it is.
10:52You're probably wondering who gave you such rubbish marks we can find out
10:55with the advancement in science now. Where is Matt Carey?
10:59Okay Matt why did you only give it one point? Because there's a similar fact during the round
11:04on social media about beards containing faecal material. Oh and you're not happy about that? No
11:11I'm not having that. You don't think your beard contains any faecal material? Nothing at all.
11:15How do you know? I can see it from here. That used to be blonde. Because I wash it. You put it in a
11:22little net after you washed it. Actually you're not supposed to wash a beard. Why not? You oil a beard.
11:27Oh mate I use mango vanilla to try it out. Do you use these as chat up lines? Yeah. Fancy a drink
11:33love don't be put off by this. It's clean. I don't wash it I oil it. Well we've heard
11:39Stephen's favourite fact but join us after the break when Romesh will try and win us over with
11:42his. Welcome back to Duck Platts Don't Echo the show that puts extraordinary facts to the test.
11:56Still with me are Stephen Mangan, Romesh Ranganathan and Sue Perkins.
12:04Before the break Stephen Mangan won five points for his fact that there are more germs on lift
12:08buttons than toilets. Romesh you're next. What fact have you gone for? Prepare to have your
12:13minds blown. I'm preparing myself. My fact is you can walk on the ceiling with magnets.
12:20What? You can walk? Why are you walking on the ceiling with magnets? It doesn't matter you can
12:27do it. That's what I'm telling you. You can do it. You can walk on the ceiling. Every ceiling.
12:31It has to be a magnetic ceiling. So you need a magnetic ceiling. Just have one installed mate.
12:35And magnets. Well I'm so sorry it's not lift buttons but the fact of the matter is you can
12:42hang off the ceiling. If you have a magnetic ceiling. You can hang off a plane if you glue
12:47yourself to it. I could nail gun my feet to the ceiling and hang off it. Well you know. Yeah but
12:52no to be fair you couldn't walk on the ceiling on a plane if you glued to it. He can walk on
12:57a ceiling with his magnets. Top that. And let's face it when it comes to interesting facts you're
13:01in lift. Someone gets in next to you right. Who's the most interesting? The guy that goes
13:05I could walk on that or the guy that goes see that lift button. It's got more faeces on it.
13:12I think if anyone can style out dancing on the ceiling or walking on a ceiling it is you
13:16to be fair. Do you think those two songs are connected? Which one? Hello is it me you're
13:20looking for I'm dancing on the ceiling. And actually do you remember the video the woman
13:25would come in and say hello you look is it me you're looking for I'm dancing on the ceiling.
13:28So that's a welcome plane. Then Lionel would just be there with the magnets going what a bloody waste
13:32of time this was. He'd say yeah you can't see this love but I'm dancing on the ceiling and she'd go
13:37that's not very interesting it's just magnets connected so no one can do that. Okay Romesh you
13:42obviously believe this fact is true so you'll be able to prove it when we test it out. Now while
13:47you get ready for the experiment let's see the science behind it. An electromagnet works like
13:51a normal magnet only using electricity. When you pass an electric current around a metal core
13:58you create a magnetic field. When you turn off the electricity it quickly loses its magnetic force.
14:06Amazingly in standard household items like a microwave oven there are electromagnets so
14:12powerful they can stick a person to a ceiling. That's the theory let's hope it works.
14:21So Romesh if your fact is true then it should be pretty simple all we need to do
14:26is lift you up there spin you around and see you walk. Are you up for this? Well I mean
14:32it doesn't feel as safe as I thought it was gonna and and it's not even as if they were
14:37that impressed with the fact in the first place so it does feel slightly pointless me risking my
14:42life. Well I'll say that at the funeral. So um let's lift Romesh up. Don't make that noise it's not
14:49it's not helpful is it?
14:54Right so I should point out that these are specially commissioned boots with electromagnetics
14:58on them all right you just can't get these at Sports Direct or Foot Locker. So I mean it
15:06it goes without saying that and I mean this please do not try this at home
15:11especially if you haven't got a metal ceiling. So you feeling all right Romesh? Yeah good.
15:19If it doesn't work we can at least test out another fact which is uh human heads don't bounce.
15:26Okay here we go. Oh go on son.
15:34I am genuinely terrified watching this.
15:41Go on son.
15:49Yes you can walk backwards on the ceiling.
15:56He's moonwalking. I've got to say he's now taking it to moonwalking. I have actually done it in a
16:02more impressive day than I promised. I'm gonna try one more backwards step. Go on. I love my
16:07children just tell them. Whoa yes there you go amazing it actually works. You can walk on the
16:15ceiling with magnets. Wow what about that? Marvelous. I'm watching an early episode of Iron Man
16:30just just before Tony gets it right. Yeah it was I'm genuinely frightened for him. Yeah no it was
16:36the leg swinging around thinking that's gonna bash. Well I'm gonna be honest when his legs
16:39were swinging I thought it might bash me in the head I was more worried about my own safety here
16:42and here he is. What's uh what was that like? That was difficult. Is it fair to say now that
16:53you're a bit that's harder than it looks? That were you doing that was deeply impressive.
16:57It was scary and he manned up hugely. He was upside down.
17:04Okay so we've tested Romesh's fact but let's find out how impressive our audience thinks it is.
17:08Time for you to all give it marks out of 10. Please vote now.
17:17So let's find out what the average rating was for your facts and where that puts you on the
17:20leaderboard. Oh an impressive eight Romesh.
17:30An impressive eight but I have to say uh not everyone was impressed. Uh somebody thought it
17:36was utterly boring and his name is Stephen Mangan. But we have got people who were impressed. It's
17:44Stephen Harnett. Where are you Stephen Harnett? Stephen you gave it a 10 yeah? You impressed?
17:48Very impressed yes. Yeah what impressed you so much? Um the what you can use it for.
17:52Go on what can you use it for? Because I'm struggling. Changing a light bulb. What?
17:57Changing a light bulb. I've got two words for you. Step ladder. I know it's one word. I know
18:01it's one word. Were you were you watching me do that and thought oh this is going to save me a
18:06lot of time? This is absolutely brilliant. The classic labour saver that. Okay last but not
18:13least Sue it's your turn. Tell us your fact. My fact is that men can't make their voices sexier
18:20but women can. So men can do lots of things with their voices. They can sound more authoritative.
18:24They can sound angry. They can sound well they just can't sound sexier. Well. Two words David
18:29Bellamy. Another two Joe Pasquale. David Beckham don't speak. Let me give you another.
18:35Let me give.
18:43Well let me give you another two words Sue Perkins. Yeah. Lee Mack because I like a challenge. You
18:48know what this really did it for me. I stopped I was it's like a oh it's like a fish sucker.
18:55I could I could you know I can this is my normal voice which I know. Do your sexy voice. Okay my
19:00sexy voice would be uh okay Sue why did you. No. Let me finish. All right. Let me finish. No
19:07hold on I'm really enjoying this. Okay. Mine's gone in. To be fair.
19:14Go on do it. Come on let's get it on. Um Sue what made you choose this fact?
19:22Oh my god I am so I am so hot for you. Chill. My body temperature plummeted by about 20 degrees
19:28just then. I do a lot of voiceovers. See. I have a voice like liquid chocolate. Lick me.
19:38You you can you know. I can what? You get close to being able to disprove this. Oh hello Romesh
19:45why don't we just sit over here and be unsexy. Well I clearly do have a reasonably sexy voice.
19:51Why have they cast me as postman Pat in the film? But I. What's your voice what's your voice for
19:56postman Pat? Uh it's a northern accent Lee. Why? Because it's manual labor. Yeah.
20:04But you didn't do the singing bits though did you? No. No I didn't. No. Who did them? Maria Callas.
20:11Ronan Keating. He didn't. He did. No. He did. Tell me he didn't put on a northern accent.
20:17They said. I'm deliberate. Letters at corner at street. Nobody speaks it. He sings in an
20:21Irish accent. So Pat suddenly sounds Irish when he's singing. So it's true. I. Women mainly can
20:28make themselves sound sexy. Although the only. I know you do lots of voiceovers. The only voiceover
20:31I've ever specifically been asked to do was for diarrhea medication. And my agent said they've
20:37asked for you. That is. They've had a meeting. Yes. And they'd gone through all. Who most sounds
20:44like a runny stool. I know. I got told that you do. There's so much marketing goes involved in
20:51the advertising world. That if you want to know how the public perceive you. Look at the adverts
20:55you're offered. And that will say it all. And I genuinely have been offered Lebsip and Hobnobs.
21:00I appeal to the fat and the sick. I appear to the runny bottom. I haven't done any adverts but
21:07I'm hoping to get a Magnet sponsorship pretty soon. Magnet kitchens will come for you tomorrow
21:13morning. Okay you've heard what we think. But join us after the break when we put this to the test.
21:28Welcome back to Duck Quacks Don't Echo. The show that brings you brilliant and bizarre facts that
21:31you've probably never heard of. Before the break Sue told us that men can't make their voices sexier
21:36but women can. We need to know for sure. So we put it to the test.
21:44Barry White's voice certainly influenced his sex appeal.
21:50But if you're not blessed with a voice like his can you make yourself sound sexier? People change
21:57the way they speak all the time in different social contexts in order to influence the outcome
22:01of an interaction. For revolutionary reasons it's less important for men to indicate physical beauty
22:08and so they've not developed the ability to project a sexy voice.
22:13Instead men have learned to make their voices sound dominant confident and intelligent because
22:19these are linked to a man's ability to provide a protective well-feathered environment for a maid.
22:26That sounds interesting but can we prove it?
22:31We hired a recording studio and invited along five male volunteers. We hid them behind a
22:38screen and then brought in a panel of women to judge their voices. Stand by and we're recording.
22:48The five men each read exactly the same statement first in their normal voice.
22:54Hello we've never been introduced. It's a pleasure to meet you. The women listened to
22:58the voices in turn and marked them out of 10 on various criteria. Confidence, intelligence
23:06and sex appeal and of course we're mostly interested in that. So once we had scores
23:12for the men's normal voices we wanted to see if they could change them to improve their scores.
23:21Hello. The five men read the same statement again but this time deliberately tried to sound
23:27more intelligent. Hello we've never been introduced. I like the sound of that. The women marked the
23:33voices in the same way but had no idea they were listening to the same men. In test one they had
23:40given the men's normal voices an average of 4.8 out of 10 for intelligence and interestingly
23:47when the men tried to sound intelligent the average score went up to 5.4. The same results
23:55occurred with the confidence test. The scores showed the men were able to manipulate their
24:02voices but could they make themselves sound sexier. For the final test the men tried to add
24:12sex appeal to the same statements. Hello. Hello. Hello. We've never been introduced.
24:22It's a pleasure to meet you. And this time their original score of 3.9 for sex appeal
24:30went all the way down to a miserable 1.9.
24:36So whilst men can use their voices to sound more confident and intelligent
24:41they really cannot make themselves sound sexier and it seems simple evolution is to blame.
24:51I'm genuinely a bit disappointed. If you've got a Barry White voice to begin with
25:00you're sexy you know that's good but you just can't amp what you've already got. I don't know,
25:05I'm not bothered. Who needs a sexy voice? What I do, I've got a different system, what I do is
25:08I just hang around with really ugly men to make me a lot better. Anyway thanks for coming lads.
25:13Verified. What do we think about this? Is there something with evolution here? What's happening?
25:18When the guys were doing the sexy voices most of the women were laughing and I must admit I was
25:22thinking because it is just sort of just a bit cringing but maybe 40 years ago if someone had
25:27used a similar sort of technique it might have worked. So I'm not too sure if it's just evolution
25:32or just the environment we're growing in. So we could have got away with things in the past where
25:36we can't really get away with them now because the climate has changed for one thing. That's true.
25:41But changing your voice is a very powerful tool and it's used by politicians and CEOs of company
25:47and a classic example of is Margaret Thatcher who to appear more authoritative lowered her voice.
25:52Well that is a good point because can women do it as well? We haven't actually proved it either way
25:55so we actually ran the experiment again with women trying to make their voices sexier and
25:59here's the result. We repeated the experiment but this time brought in five female voices
26:06and five male listeners. Hello. The women were also able to inject more intelligence into their
26:13voices as well as more confidence going from an original score of 6.4 to 8 and when it came to
26:22sounding sexier. Hello. It's a pleasure to meet you. They went from an original sex appeal rating of 4.3
26:31all the way up to 8.2. It's a pleasure pleasure pleasure. So there we have it men can't make
26:39themselves sound sexier but women really can.
26:48Conclusive proof men can't make their voices sexier but women can. It's really strange. What both had in
26:55common was that the natural thing to go lower so if you want to sound sexy you'd go low but women
27:00did the same thing. I'm hot for you right now. Listen you can mock but I don't need it I do the smolder.
27:07I just walk in I walk into a room I look and I
27:13fill your pants. They did sound sexier those women they did definitely but you wouldn't want them to
27:21sound like that all the time. There's certain times you know if you were at Tesco's or any
27:25other supermarket ever. Or if they're phoning for an ambulance. Yeah and they go he's in a lot of trouble.
27:32Rain it in for Christ's sake. So what score will our audience
27:36give Sue's fact? Using your keypads vote now audience please.
27:45Okay Sue let's find out what the average rating was for your fact.
27:50Oh a seven that's not bad. Listen if I delivered that fact well upside down with magnetic shoes
27:56on I would have rocked this place but I'm happy with that. Okay Romesh is still in the lead but
28:00there's still plenty of time for Stephen and Sue to catch up in the next round. It's time for fact finder.
28:07Not only do we ask our guests to bring in a fact for the show we also ask our audience and Stephen
28:11Romesh and Sue have each picked out the audience member that they think is best. Stephen who have
28:15you picked? Richard da Costa. Richard da Costa that's a great name Richard da Costa. Is it your
28:22real name or is it your showbiz name? No it's my real name. Is it? Sexy voice. I'm alive for you
28:29right now Richard da Costa. Richard da Costa yes what is your amazing fact? That your foot
28:36length is the exact same length as between your wrist and your elbow.
28:44Oh that's big that's a long that's a that's a big old that's would make my feet massive Richard.
28:51Every look at everybody the audience is going somebody realizing how unfit they are.
28:55I'll never get down that. Yeah it's about right. I can't find anyone who can't reach. It's exactly right.
29:04Okay well this is this is interesting. The question is are you not getting confused with
29:08shoe size which is bigger than your foot? Shoes are famously bigger than feet aren't they? Otherwise
29:11you won't be able to get them in. Famously yeah. But your feet are a bit smaller than so maybe
29:15maybe you mean your shoe size. No no it's your foot. It's not. It's your foot. But you crook
29:19your arm I guess. Why would it be your shoe size? Because he's tested it with his shoes on and he's
29:23getting confused. Yeah but that's not. As opposed to unscrewing his foot and using his foot length.
29:28But you get different types of shoes. That's true. Otherwise clowns would be really good at picking
29:31stuff up without bending over. So that's what we think of Stephen's chosen fact. Now we can't test
29:38it because we only just heard it tonight so it's over to our verifiers. Verifiers what do we think
29:42about this? This is true. That can't be true. There's a whole area of science that looks like
29:48the ratios and dimensions of the human body called anthropometry and basically it's used in
29:53the fashion industry so when you go and pick up a jumper they know how to make the sleeves a
29:56certain length and trouser lengths and things like that and so yeah tried it and your foot
30:01is the same distance between here and here. But why is that a study? Why are people studying that?
30:05It's basically for using... To find out how big your feet are? Well no it's just the ratios of your whole body
30:09so like when you make a chair how close the chair and how the gaps under the desk so basically you
30:13can fit in the world around you. After all these years we've now cracked the chair. It's all about
30:17averages. It's not sort of so on average the majority of people will have that. There are
30:22exceptions aren't there? Yes there's a distribution you have people who are much smaller people who
30:25are much bigger. Okay your next Romesh whose facts have you gone for? I have gone for Morris Vink.
30:31Morris Vink I love the name already and where's that from? Holland. It just means finch. It means
30:36finch? Finch as in the bird yeah. I know what a finch is mate I'm not an idiot. I like Morris.
30:44Morris what's your fact? Only 10% of the cells in our bodies actually belong to us.
30:50What have you rented the rest?
30:5310% what have you the rest what are a genetic throwback or something? They're bacteria that
30:58live inside our body and on our body. So they're not? Yeah. But and they come and go all the time
31:03and they change I mean. Just by weight? I don't know I don't even have a GCSE in biology so don't
31:07ask that. Morris I've picked you mate you need to step your game up. Do you know what I mean?
31:12Time for our verifiers to give us their verdict. What's going on? It is actually true
31:18we've got about 30 trillion human cells in our body but we've got around 10 times more bacterial
31:25cells and they mostly live in our gut and some on our skin and if you squished them all together
31:30they'd make up the size of a football but because because they're much much smaller than the human
31:34cells but they're still 10 times as many and and these aren't like bad bacteria that give us
31:39infections and stuff like that they're they're actually a lot of them help us they protect us
31:43and we sort of live in harmony with them so we're one big super organism living in bacterial harmony
31:47together. Say what's not true women can't put on sexier voices can they? That was disgusting.
31:55Some studies say that they can control us they might they might actually be controlling our
31:59thoughts because some bacteria make you crave certain types of food that the ones that are
32:03gonna feed them best. I'm being robotically controlled by microorganisms the size of
32:07football inside my body. So this is just I'm being told to do this by some other
32:12person. Sorry Richard but that's a much better fact. Okay finally Sue whose facts have you picked out?
32:20Well I've saved the best for last because Liam Tovey is going to deliver my facts. Hi Liam. You all right?
32:25Uh what's your fact? The smell of freshly cut grass is in fact a chemical distress call released
32:30by the grass itself. So effectively it's grass screaming? Yeah. Don't kill me don't kill me.
32:36My blade. Why would it need to do that? Why not? I don't think Liam's like a
32:42grass representative. I think he was just presenting the facts. He was a mouthpiece.
32:46Yeah he was a mouthpiece. He's just a mouthpiece for the organization. Well in fact Lee I
32:51studied ag culture at Hadlow College so I studied grass. Do you really? Turns out your own
32:56Romesh is an expert. I love that. I don't think he's an expert. I think you'll find I am actually.
33:04Okay well then we can talk about it. When you say distress signal what is it? Is it in pain?
33:09Is it is it uh is it just talking to the other grass? I don't know. Imagine what you would think.
33:15Can I just check? Are you a first year and is it fresh as weed?
33:20So grass is screaming? Yeah. Wow. Is it just grass or are other plants doing this?
33:26Just grass at the moment. At the moment? At the moment? I'll tell you what though. Are you planning
33:30for this to catch on? Yeah but wait till the daisies hear about it. They'll start joining in.
33:35Okay so what do we think? Do you think grass screams? It's a chemical. It's a smell isn't it?
33:40It's a chemical. What you can smell is freshly cut grass as a chemical discharge. Yeah.
33:46Of grass. A distressed piece of grass. It's grass soiling itself in fear.
33:51Verifiers Sue likes Liam's fat but is there any truth in it? Very surprisingly there is.
33:57What Liam is talking about is something called green leaf volatiles and as the plant is cut it
34:03does let off this chemical saying hey you know we're in distress this is trouble. Now that does
34:08seem strange because you know it's not saying it to its friends and the friends are sort of picking
34:11up their roots and running away but um there were other chemicals released by plants when this
34:15happens. So there is a certain type of grass which when a caterpillar is eating it the grass will
34:20give off a chemical which will attract a certain type of wasp who will come and lay eggs in the
34:24caterpillar therefore killing the caterpillar. So although the grass is settled it can't move around
34:29it can actually call upon nature to come and help it. Also another thing is that when this happens
34:34even if they can't call on something else to come and help it they can call on insects to actually
34:38take their pollen and take it to other plants therefore transporting their DNA and spreading
34:43the joy. That is properly amazing. So we've heard the facts but how many points will our
34:52verifiers give them? Find out after the break.
35:05So before the break each of our guests chose their favorite fact from the audience. We found
35:08out whether each fact is true but who will get the most points from our verifiers? Let's find out.
35:13Stephen please remind us of your chosen fact. My fact was your foot is the exact same length as
35:18the distance between your wrist and your elbow. I still think it's too big. Verifiers. Since it's
35:23approximately not exact we'll go give it a seven. Seven seems fair. Thank you. Thank you.
35:29Romesh remind us of your fact. My fact is only 10% of the cells in our bodies belong to us.
35:36Verifiers you like this one don't you? I do like this one. That's 300 trillion cells that are
35:41bacteria in each person. That's 300 million million. That's an awful lot. I think that's really cool and
35:46also I think it's really cool that some of them can make us apparently potentially crave chocolate.
35:50Yeah and even better next time I go shoplifting I go it wasn't me. Exactly.
35:55So I think a nine. Oh nine. And finally Sue. My fact was that the smell of freshly cut grass
36:04is actually grass giving off a chemical distress signal. Verifiers. This is cutting entry search so
36:10it's sort of the latest out there but effectively what he said was true so I'll give it a nine.
36:14A nine. Okay another nine there so let's put them on the scoreboard and see how it's affected
36:18everything. We have in third place Stephen with 12 points. Sue's got 16 but winning is Romesh with 17 points.
36:29Don't worry though there is still time for the rest of you to catch up.
36:33We've heard all the guest facts and the audience have brought theirs so now it's my turn. It's Max Facts.
36:37I've got some facts and all you have to do is guess what they are from a series
36:45of clues and you'll get points for each one you get right. So here is the first one. We have these
36:52and we have this and we have this.
36:58I'll give you a clue it's not how to make a really rubbish homemade lightsaber.
37:02It's a shame that I've been my first pop call. So what do we think's going on here? Do you fire
37:06the batteries down through the tube? Some kind of is it like a blow a sort of blow dart thing?
37:11You definitely for this experiment will be putting the batteries into the tube. That is a good start.
37:16Blowpipe. Digital version of a blowpipe. Electronic version. Is it like something like if you blow a
37:21battery through a blowpipe like that you can puncture a hole through that? Through that?
37:27I'm just I think it's supposed to be an amazing fact. Yeah I'd like to see that. That's more than
37:31amazing. That would be that would make me a superhero. Are they two different types of batteries?
37:36That's a very very good way to think. Yes they are. So you've got you're testing something about
37:41they're not so much different types is it different states. One's charged and one's not.
37:45Correct. So one will react differently when you blow it through a tube. We're getting close you're
37:49getting close. So the silver one is flat okay. What's going to happen when I drop it through
37:54this tube? It'll just fall down. If you drop the other one through it'll create a black hole and
37:58we'll all be sucked into it and that'll be the end of it. Well let's have a look. You get the flat battery.
38:05We drop it through. Watch what happens. Oh what happens when we put the fully charged battery
38:11down the pipe? Does that bounce? Oh it doesn't. Not as much. Not as much. That's another
38:20another labor-saving device. It is. It's good because how do you there's no way of checking if
38:23batteries are charged or not apart from that new way. Perhaps you can use that. Or licking them.
38:28Or licking them yeah which is a very good tip for the children.
38:32My fact is dead batteries bounce fully charged ones don't. Verifies. Can you explain?
38:37Um when a battery is giving off power there's a chemical reaction taking place. Now when the
38:42battery is fully charged it is um it has a zinc core but as the chemical reaction takes place
38:49that zinc is converted to zinc oxide. Now zinc oxide is actually a crystal. It's got a crystal
38:54lattice and when you bounce a crystal it actually has some playability so it can have some give and
39:00it bounces back. Now you've got to be careful because um if your battery uh does bounce it
39:04doesn't mean it's it's flat because anything from about 50 percent down will bounce just as high as
39:10a dead battery because what happens is and that chemical reaction actually works from the outside
39:14in and so when you bounce the battery even when it's got 50 percent it will still bounce just as
39:18high. Oh okay. I had a crystal lattice from Greg's once. Okay next one it's simply this little baby
39:27and this. Is it the size of a koala's foot is the same as a human arm between there?
39:36See that look at the size that is a big foot. Has that koala eaten the rest of that human being?
39:42Can I ask for a clarification question here? Please do. Does this fact involve a toy koala
39:47or does that is that representative of a real koala? This represents a real koala bear. Say hello to Ramesh.
39:59What the hell's that on your lip? And you said you couldn't make your voice sexier.
40:05Let's get it on. So do they have similar hands or something? Very similar hands and you're really on
40:12the right track. They've got four fingers and two thumbs. I'll tell you the fact koalas have
40:18fingerprints that are indistinguishable from humans. Verify us how did we find this out? Well koalas
40:24are the only non-primates who have fingerprints and this was spotted by a guy at the University
40:29of Adelaide in Australia who is a biological anthropologist and a forensic scientist and he
40:34found that the koala bears that he was working with he noticed they had little ridges on their fingers
40:38and little swirls and swirls and circles kind of like a human fingerprint and he said that
40:43they were so similar to human fingerprints that it was potential that at a crime scene
40:48the police might actually mistakenly think that it was a koala's fingerprint. Because koalas do a lot
40:54of smash and grabs I imagine. Do you know what I'll tell you what though you joke about my uncle did 12
40:58years for eucalyptus theft. Okay my last fact tonight is this. It's simply that. It's not so
41:09much a fact as a bit of merchandise. You've cloned yourself three times. I'll give you a clue this is
41:16something that we can do all together just using our bodies in the privacy of our own home and it's
41:21not illegal. Glue a tabletop to our head. This is can we support the weight of something. You're on the
41:28right track Cher. We can make a table. You that's exactly what it is. The fact is that you can turn
41:34four people into a human table with the help of physics. Now instead of me trying to explain this
41:39why don't I just show you with the help of Dr Simon Foster. Follow me.
41:49Now it's usually at this part of the show where I take over and tell people what to do but I
41:56genuinely have no idea what we're going to be doing so please Dr Simon Foster tell us what to
42:00do. So can I have you all seating please. Could Lee here please. Stephen here. Sue there and Ramesh
42:07over there and can you sit with the chair kind of the back of the chair on your left side.
42:13Does that make sense. Right yes you've got your back to the person. Right and what I need you to
42:17do is can you lean back into the lap of the person behind you. Hell yes I can buddy don't you worry
42:24It's Christmas. Now it's a party. I'm glad we're not doing this face down it would have been awkward.
42:31Hang on mangan has that a gun in your pocket are you glad to see me.
42:35So what you can see here is your table. You've got your tabletop here and you've got your legs.
42:39Now when I remove the chairs it should look like it should connect. What are you talking about? Well
42:44it'd be okay trust me okay. So what in effect when I remove the chairs you will still have someone's
42:49body on top of a pair of legs and that should support the weight. Now as long as this all kind
42:54of stays in a nice system you should stay nice in place and nothing should happen. So this should be
42:59able. There's a lot of shoulds going on here. Well no I like to you know caveat it just in case. Before we do
43:04this let's see the final scores. In third place it's Stephen with 14. Sue's got 16. This week's
43:10winner is Ramesh with 17 points. So congratulations Ramesh. Simon please remove the chairs. So let's
43:20give this a go. Stephen can you lift your bum up. Okay. Fleet flat down let's go. Oh my god. Come
43:25around here. Ramesh lift your bottom up. I'm genuinely terrified. Let's go. Oh that feels quite nice.
43:33And Sue you ready? Yeah. Here we go lift your bum up.
43:40There.
43:49That's it for tonight's show. A huge thank you to our verifiers and our special guests.
43:53Stephen Mangan, Ramesh Ranganathan and Sue Perkins. I'll see you next week. Good night.
44:02Our middle-aged moaner questions how other cultures face up to some of life's biggest
44:07issues. Don't miss the brand new series of Carl Pilkington's Moaning of Life
44:11starting tomorrow night at nine on Sky One.