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Video Information: Shabdyog Session, 09.11.2019, Advait Bodhsthal, Greater Noida, India

Context:

"The mind will merge only by Self-inquiry ‘Who am I?’
The thought ‘Who am l?’ will destroy all other thoughts and finally kill itself.”
- Sri Raman Maharishi

~ What exactly is the 'Who am I?' method?
~ Why is this method so beneficial?
~ What do we mean by Self-inquiry?
~ Is self-reflection just a technique?
~ Why should anyone inquire, "Who am I?"

Music Credits: Milind Date
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Category

📚
Learning
Transcript
00:00The first question says, Acharyaji Pranam, Sri Ramana Maharshi says, the mind will merge
00:12only by self-inquiry, who am I, the thought who am I will destroy all other thoughts and
00:22finally kill itself. Then asks the questioner, however in my daily life when I feel jealous,
00:37it feels more intuitive to ask why am I jealous and not who is jealous. Please speak on Maharshi's
00:48method of self-inquiry, who am I, because at one place he even goes on to say, there
00:55is no such thing as the mind and what I know of is just the mind.
01:13Self-inquiry is not merely a method, it is the foundation on which the entire edifies.
01:42Of not merely Vedanta, but all spirituality stands, who am I pertains to the infinite
02:09possibilities available to the ego, including the possibility for the infinite. When it
02:29is queried, who am I, who am I at this juncture, who am I right now, not who am I in general,
02:42not who am I as a fixed concept, not who am I as a label, name tag or permanent identity.
02:58Who am I right now? Then a few things should be understood. Who is the questioner? The
03:15questioner has to be somebody who does not know, otherwise why would he question at all.
03:28So who is the questioner? The ego is the questioner, because the ego is the only one who does not
03:37know. Above the ego is the pure self or truth, the ultimate state of the ego and because
03:59it is the ultimate and the highest and pure and imminent, therefore there is no way it does not
04:08know, it knows. The pure self is not going to come to inquire who am I, why? Because it has no such
04:21question and has nobody to ask a question to. The pure self is also non-dual. If it is non-dual,
04:32how is it going to ever ask a question? If it is complete in itself and all-knowing, how is it
04:41ever going to feel bothered by a query? So the question who am I does not really arise from the
04:54truth. It arises to the ego. The ego wants to know who am I. Who am I right now? About whom is
05:12the question who am I? Who is functional right now? Had the truth been functional right now,
05:20would there have been a possibility of discontentment leading to such a query? So
05:31who is being queried? The ego is being queried. Who is raising the query? The ego is raising the
05:40query. And below the ego is insentient material, stuff, things. They too are never going to feel
06:05bothered by a question pertaining to their identity. Is this table ever going to be vexed
06:14regarding its name? The table is never going to ask who am I and the truth is never going to ask
06:22who am I. Neither the table nor the truth. So obviously you know who asks who am I. The ego
06:33asks who am I about its present condition. And to whom does it ask this? There is nobody else
06:41to ask this question to. The ego raises this question to itself. It is the ego that has to
06:48proceed on the path of self-inquiry. Who am I? What's going on? Who am I right now? In other
06:55words where is my existence coming from? Who am I means where is my existence coming from? And
07:06how does the ego know of its existence in the first place? How do you know that you exist?
07:12You know that you exist by your experiences. You know that you exist by your happiness,
07:24your sadness, all the various things that you go through. Your responses, your reactions,
07:35your association with the world. That is what convinces you that you exist. So the ego is
07:47questioning itself regarding its very conviction. The conviction that it exists. It is asking where
07:56are my thoughts for example coming from? Where are these feelings coming from? Because it is
08:03only my feelings that convince me that I exist. In deep sleep I have no feelings. Then I do not
08:10claim that I exist. Do I? How do I feel so utterly sure that I exist? Because I experience, I think,
08:19I feel, I wonder, I touch, I smell and hence I feel that I exist. Remove all the sensory
08:27apparatus and would you be able to tell yourself that you do exist? Would be difficult right? So
08:37the question who am I translates to where is my existence coming from? Translates to where
08:46are my thoughts, feelings and experiences coming from? Are you getting it? Where is this stuff
08:55coming from? I just thought of something. Where did this come from? I just felt something. Where
09:03did this feeling come from? I just felt something. What did I feel? A terrible attraction. Where did
09:12this attraction come from? That's who am I. Now who is responsible for answering this question?
09:20The ego itself. What state of the ego is this question arising in? The state in which the ego
09:30is feeling that terrible attraction. The ego is feeling a terrible attraction as it mostly keeps
09:37feeling right? Just that sometimes we label it terrible at other times we call it pretty mundane,
09:43normal, regular. So this state of the ego that is saying I'm feeling a terrible attraction is
09:55asking itself where is this coming from? Now the respondent is the same as the questioner. Are you
10:05seeing this? Ego is asking the question to itself. What is the state of the questioner? The questioner
10:15is almost unconscious which is proven by the fact that the questioner is feeling a terrible
10:24attraction. So this unconscious questioner is asking itself where is this coming from? Now
10:35there is a problem. Now the matter is stuck. Why? The respondent is the same as the questioner and
10:49the questioner is unconscious. If the questioner is unconscious, how can the answerer be any
10:57different? But even as the questioner is unconscious and asking where is all this
11:04coming from? The respondent has been entrusted with the responsibility to answer. Correct? And
11:12the two are one. Their states are same. They are mirror images. They are just one. The ego is
11:17questioning itself. So this unconscious one is asking itself what is this entire drama from? Where
11:28is the whole thing arising from? And this entity here, the respondent is now responsible to answer.
11:43What is the only way it can answer? What is the only way it can answer? Remaining unconscious, it
11:53cannot answer. But it has to answer because the question has been posed to nobody but itself. So
12:01under the pressure of the question, the respondent has to change. Under the pressure of the question,
12:10facing the responsibility to answer the question, this respondent has to change. Now at this moment
12:19when the question was asked, both of these were unconscious. Otherwise why would there be a
12:26question at all? But now it is facing the task of answering. So it has to raise its capacity to
12:40answer. It has to become deserving to answer. This upward movement is called attention. You are
12:49unconscious but when faced with this question, you summon your attention and you want to now
12:54see. Okay, I want to answer it and in the process you are raising your attention. Raising your
12:59attention means your consciousness levels are being raised. The haze on your mind has to be
13:10forcibly cleared away. When this rises, this too has to rise because the two of them are. But the
13:20answer won't come because the question is asking, tell me the root. Where is the entire thing
13:26coming from? To go to the root is to go to the very end. So this has to rise even more. This too
13:37has to rise. This too has to rise. So the ego in asking itself, where am I coming from, finds that
13:45it has to change if it wants to answer this question. It is a special question. If you want
13:52to answer this question, then you cannot remain the one who asked this question. So at a certain
13:59level, hypothetically, the question is answered. But at that level, you find that the questioner
14:07is no more the one who asked the question. He has been far removed from his unconscious depths. He
14:14has been raised, elevated. He is no more the same. Rather, he is no more. He does not exist at all.
14:20That's the magic associated with who am I. If you really want to answer who am I, if you really
14:28succeed in answering who am I, then you will find that both the questioner and the respondent have
14:34disappeared. Is the process exactly clear to everybody? Where is the thing coming from? Now
14:45look at a practical manifestation. You are angry and in the moment of anger, if you can ask where
14:51is this anger coming from, you will find that you are no more succumbing to anger. Now where is the
14:57angry one who asked this question? Gone. No more. Any state of mind in which you ask the question
15:10where is this thing coming from will disappear under the influence of this question. This question
15:20is a great sword. It cuts down the very hand that wields it. You ask this question and you will be
15:36no more the one who asked this question. Are you getting it? The question will always arise from a
15:46relatively unconscious state. But to answer this question, you will have to become conscious. So
15:55the one who asked this question will have to disappear to get the answer, which means there
16:02is nobody to receive the answer, which means there is nobody to give the answer because the
16:06one who is receiving and the one who is giving are actually the same. So there is no answer
16:11actually. Who am I never gets an answer. It's just that the questioner fades away. If you get
16:22an answer to who am I, then you are playing some kind of fraud upon yourself. Who am I simply means
16:35I will not remain the one who asked this. That is the method and it is not a method I said. It is
16:48fundamental discretion. You have to know the self as separate from non-self. This is Vivek. You have
17:05to know that the soul is not your glands or hormones. And if you do not ask where is this
17:19coming from, then it is quite likely that you will misread just hormonal exuberance
17:34as something of the soul. Who am I does not allow you to make that mistake. Who am I says,
17:47oh something is arising, something is happening, something is taking the position of you,
17:52something is just dominating you from within. Pause. This is the moment. Ask. Hello sir,
18:01where are you coming from? Can you show ticket? Carrying some identity card? Who are you? Where
18:12are you coming from? So you are coming from Mozambique and I was under the impression that
18:24you are coming from Varanasi. No, no, you are not what I thought you to be. I was thinking
18:35that you are coming from the banks of the sacred Ganga. No, no, you are not that one. You are
18:43coming from some jungle. You are not the pious one I thought you to be. To the more
18:58dramatically minded, who am I can be taken as a tearing away of the mask. Your emotion,
19:14your thought, your identity comes to you and says, you know, I am this, I am that and what do you do?
19:22You tear away the mask. You don't even ask where from you are coming. You just tear away the mask
19:29and you say, you don't even try this again. I know who you are and where you are coming from.
19:36The tough part is you don't have to do this to anybody outside of you. You have to do this to
19:52yourself. The question is not who is John and who is Jenny. The question is who am I? So you have
20:06to disrobe yourself. You have to tear away your own masks. You have to uncover your own inner
20:15deviousness. Is the who am I method clear to everybody? Clear? Where is this thing coming
20:34from? And remember you will never really come to know. Not that it cannot be known. Just that
20:43the interest in knowing was arising from suffering and if you ask this question deeply, the suffering
20:54will disappear. So your interest in pursuing this question will also disappear. So you will drop it
21:01and you will find yourself busy with joyful affairs of life and enjoy. There is actually no
21:13need to ask who am I? Who am I is a question arising out of suffering. You pursue this question,
21:23the suffering abates and then who wants to just keep pestering oneself with the query who am I,
21:38who am I? Getting it? Oh I am so sad. What's the question to ask? From where is this sadness
21:56coming? What is the name of the sad one? Who is sad? Where does he draw his legitimacy from? Who
22:18told him that he has a right to exist? How does he convince himself to be? Are you getting it?
22:49There is another way in which you can understand the whole thing. If it is not already clear.
22:55There is some kind of demon that rides on your back and keeps sucking your blood.
23:23And what do you want to do? You want to run away. You want to run away and you run away fast,
23:36very fast. The deeper it sinks its teeth into your neck, the faster you are compelled to run.
23:48But how does it matter how fast you run? You are carrying the monster on your back. The monster is
23:59not merely relishing the blood. It is also enjoying a free ride. It's almost like being
24:10served hot meals on an airplane. Meals on wheels. No, meals on wings. The who am I method is about
24:25not running or acting so energetically under the influence of the monster rather simply pausing.
24:44You pause and then you ask the monster, where are you coming from? Who are you? And if you are
25:02asking this question, then you have to face the monster. To face the monster, you will have to
25:10rip the monster away from your back and bring it in front of yourself. And then you find that the
25:22monster is actually just a feeble thing weighing 12 kilograms. It has no power really. It was able
25:37to infest you and torture you just because you were supporting it by carrying it on its back. The
25:47moment you want to ask it, who are you? There is a disassociation. Correct? Who are you? So we have
25:57to face each other. And if you have to face each other, then the two of us cannot be one. I'm
26:04asking you, who are you? In asking yourself, who am I? You separate yourself from that which you
26:15are not. In asking yourself, who am I right now? You dissociate yourself from that which you are
26:26not. Are you getting it? So this monster, which is monster only in name, but actually something
26:38terribly lame is now in front of you, not really in contact with you. There is a bit of detachment.
26:46There is a bit of dissociation. So it cannot now take you for a ride. You are liberated.
26:53You are liberated. Now you stand as the pure I, free of the monster. When the query started,
27:11you were the impure I, the ego associated with the monster. You are I plus monster.
27:21But now you want to know, who am I? So you have to ask the monster. Sir, who are you? Till now,
27:27you were so much attached to me, physically united with me, that the two of us were really one. But
27:38now I want to snap this association. Who are you? Come in front and talk. The association is snapped.
27:49Now the monster is monster and who are you now? The pure I. That's the who am I thing. Who am I
27:56right now? Honestly and obviously the only real method is honesty. Be it who am I or be it any
28:11method. It would fail if you are not honest in pursuing this austere dialogue, austere inner
28:21dialogue. Getting it? I am troubled. What to do now? Who is troubled and where are his troubles
28:48coming from? What is the center of all these troubles? Who has a stake in remaining troubled?
28:56So now you see that who am I is a method for the wise one who is no longer interested in remaining
29:14troubled. That often goes unsaid but needs to be said. Why will you ever ask who am I? If you are
29:27not really interested in getting rid of what you have become. A fellow received a parcel from one
29:51of the e-commerce sites. It was to be delivered to somebody else. It carried the name of somebody
30:09else. But the delivery man erroneously delivered it to this fellow and he was happy. He said fine.
30:26It contained a mobile phone. Let's see and he comes and tells me you know this is what I got.
30:37It just got delivered to me and I asked him to whom does it belong and he says why would I be
30:51interested in knowing? Why would I be interested in knowing? That is the reason why we do not enter
31:03self-inquiry. Self-inquiry is an uncomfortable question. Why would you really want to know
31:14when not knowing is giving you pleasures? Why would you want to know when not knowing is so
31:26very pleasuresome? Hence the one who is asking who am I must be the one who is already a bit
31:39frustrated with himself. Already someone who is desirous of liberation otherwise asking who am I
31:53is an exercise in wild dishonesty. These days it is almost a fad. If you are spiritual then you have
32:10to ask who am I. One could have felt amused by this who am I circus had it not been for the
32:33appalling inner conditions of the ones who are amusing themselves with this self-deception.
32:51Who am I has to arise when you no longer like the I? Who am I has to arise when the I is already
33:18being seen as troublesome. You have to be someone who is prepared to receive uncomfortable answers.
33:30More so you have to be someone who is prepared to let go of the questioner and the answerer.
33:46Only then this query can proceed.
33:54Are you getting it? Do you see how intimately it is linked to the Kshetra Kshetra Vibhag
34:20of the Bhagavad Gita? And Ramana Maharshi used to talk of these three in the same breath. I am
34:45not, who am I and so am I. Naham, Koham, Soham. You cannot have just one of these. You need all
35:00three at least two of them. Which two? Naham and then Koham. You have to be someone who is first
35:14of all prepared to say this I am not and only then you get the eligibility to ask if this I am not,
35:24then who am I? If you are someone who is first of all not ready to question his existing identities
35:39because they are a source of pleasure to him, then you have no right to indulge in the who am
35:46I business. Who am I has to be preceded by Naham. This I am not, this I am not, this I am not. You
36:01need to have that sincerity and that discretion. Without Naham, if you proceed with Koham,
36:29you will find that you cannot proceed at all. The entire journey of answering who am I is a
36:41journey in negative. You ask who am I and some illusion gets negated, cleared off. And then
36:52you again ask who am I then again some haze gets cleared off. That is what we call as the raising
37:00or elevation of consciousness. If you are someone who is not prepared to get rid of his concepts
37:09about himself, then there is no point just repeating who am I, who am I.

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