• 2 months ago
First broadcast 10th December 2013.

Anxious to get in with Gillian John is very helpful at reconciling Ellie and Raff but unfortunately Judith arrives, exposing John's one night stand with Gillian, and causing trouble with Robbie.

Anne Reid ... Celia
Derek Jacobi ... Alan
Josh Bolt ... Raff
Tony Gardner ... John
Edward Ashley ... William
Sarah Lancashire ... Caroline
Louis Greatorex ... Lawrence
Morley Katherine Rose Morley ... Ellie
Roy Barraclough ... Maurice
Paul Copley ... Harry
Nicola Walker ... Gillian
Nina Sosanya ... Kate
Ronni Ancona ... Judith
Felix Johnson ... Angus
Marcus Garvey ... Greg
Dean Andrews ... Robbie

Category

📺
TV
Transcript
00:00Who are we gonna call this baby?
00:02Gillian had an abortion apparently when she was 50.
00:05I want to be somebody's mum.
00:06I just never knew. I've been a dad.
00:08You won't.
00:09I'm not being funny without my phone.
00:11It's poisonous, saying something like that.
00:13Don't you dare say anything about Celia to me.
00:18They're going off on a mucky weekend.
00:20I'm taking Kate to a nice little hotel for the weekend.
00:23We're babysitting the boys.
00:24Have you seen Ellie?
00:25She's not upstairs, she's not downstairs, this stuff's gone.
00:28Thanks for coming.
00:29No problem.
00:30I want to tell you something.
00:32He'd smashed his head open with the log splitter down in Barn.
00:37He'd done it on purpose.
00:38She'd finished him off with a block of wood.
00:43She killed him.
00:44I'm gonna look after the baby while you do your shift at Greenhalghs.
00:46You sure?
00:47I am very fond of you.
00:59I love you.
01:29Have I said too much?
01:40No, no.
01:42Have I upset you?
01:44Well, it's a shock, I suppose.
01:48You won't tell anyone?
01:50Not even Caroline?
01:52I don't tell her everything.
01:57Are you all right?
01:58Well, I know what it can feel like to feel trapped with the wrong person.
02:04Yeah, well, she were.
02:08What could you have done if it had all happened by the time he got there?
02:12That's like I said before, when I gave you edited version,
02:16there were no way I was shopping her to police.
02:19And it weren't just her.
02:21There were largely, there were only seven.
02:24What good could she have done him in prison?
02:27He probably did the right thing.
02:29He probably did the only thing.
02:31I'd have had to live with it either way.
02:34That's what I'd done.
02:37And Robbie suspected.
02:41They looked into it.
02:42Well, they looked into it anyway.
02:44And they did ask questions.
02:47Lots of questions.
02:50They had me in twice.
02:52Who rang the police?
02:54She did.
02:56I told her it'd look odd if I'd got there and then I'd been wondering.
03:02Oh.
03:04Well, you kept your nerve.
03:06I had to for her sake.
03:08And I had to hope to God she'd keep hers,
03:10because if she hadn't, I'd have been an accessory after fact.
03:14I was an accessory after fact.
03:18I am an accessory after fact.
03:23Anyway, look, that is why she ought to be a bit more grateful,
03:29a bit more courteous.
03:31And why, ten years on, it's no hardship to me
03:34to put a little distance between me and her.
03:37And if I never have reason to set foot in that barn again,
03:41I'd be a very happy man.
03:46I am a very happy man.
03:49Like I never imagined I could be.
03:52Ever again.
03:55Hey, ten past three.
03:58Aren't we meant to be looking after Lawrence?
04:17Hello?
04:19Hello.
04:23Hello.
04:25Hi. How are you?
04:27How's things?
04:29Pretty weird.
04:31Oh, of course.
04:36Where's my mum?
04:38Work. I offered to look after.
04:41Right.
04:42She rang and she sounded pretty low,
04:44so I offered to pop over and help out.
04:48Why did she ask you?
04:50Oh, well, just... I don't know.
04:57So you've driven 60 miles off from Harrogate to babysit?
05:01Well, not just... As I say, she sounded rather low,
05:04so I thought I'd drop in.
05:07Well, not just... As I say, she sounded rather low, so...
05:12Right. Do you want some tea?
05:15Got some. Thanks.
05:16OK.
05:18Well, I'm here now.
05:20Anyway, so if you wanted to miss Rush Hour,
05:22M62 gets well jammed, especially on a Friday.
05:25Oh, no, the thing is, she invited me to stay for supper.
05:28Oh. OK.
05:31Are you all right with her, then, if I play on the Xbox?
05:35Sure. Or she could come and sit and watch me.
05:37How are things with... Is it Ellie?
05:41She's cleared off.
05:44Oh, she's at her mother's, Gillian said.
05:46She had a phone call from someone. Harry?
05:49Right.
05:51I don't know, then, how things are, legally.
05:56I don't know if that means she's left her with me.
05:59She's left her with me, and that's it.
06:01Or if it means she can just come back any time she likes
06:04and just take her.
06:05No, no, you have rights too.
06:07You're on the birth certificate as the father.
06:09Well, not... Yeah, we've not...
06:10Oh, well, you want to sort that out.
06:12I would straight away, right now.
06:14You've got to protect your interests.
06:16The law is weighted massively,
06:18ridiculously on the side of the mother.
06:20If you're not even on the birth certificate legally,
06:22you're, er, stuffed.
06:24Listen, I'm talking as someone whose relationship with his children
06:27has been nearly compromised
06:29by being married to a mad, manipulative lesbian.
06:33I thought it was cos you had a fling with that, erm, Judith.
06:38Why don't I drive you into Halifax, get it done?
06:41Now? You need to phone her.
06:43Ellie, tell her we'll pick her up.
06:45You both need to be there.
06:4910 o'clock, no later than.
06:51Don't let him persuade you it's the weekend
06:53and he can stay up till any time he likes.
06:55Keep an eye on how much snackage he gets through,
06:57otherwise he won't eat any of the meals
06:59you go to the trouble of preparing for him.
07:019.30 in the morning, he needs to be at rugby, he knows that,
07:04but if you can be on top of that as well, what else?
07:07I've invited Angus round for a sleepover.
07:11Can you handle that? Is he Scottish?
07:13No.
07:15I imagine we'll muddle through.
07:17Right, I'm going to get changed.
07:19Me and Kate can give you a lift to Workwell if you like.
07:21It's on our way.
07:23Yeah, whatever.
07:25Sorry, was that...?
07:27Thanks, Mum, thanks for offering me a lift to work
07:29so I don't have to catch a bus.
07:31But he hates that job.
07:33I know he hates that job.
07:35Yeah, well, when he's been to university,
07:37he'll be able to get a properly paid job
07:39that doesn't bore him rigid, won't he?
07:41And he'll appreciate it more.
07:43How's Alan?
07:45He's fine, he's watching Countdown.
07:47I rang Gillian.
07:49Oh, I thought I told you not to.
07:51I said don't ring her.
07:53I told her you were upset and sorry
07:55and she said she thinks she's probably a bit hormonal.
07:57I asked you not to interfere.
07:59I was worried about her.
08:01You were worried about her?
08:03Both of you, I was worried about both of you.
08:05I'm going to get changed.
08:09Yeah, go on, slink off.
08:15What about something literary?
08:17Oh, yes.
08:19Like?
08:21Like Vita, or Virginia,
08:23or Afra.
08:25Who?
08:27Ben.
08:29Isn't that a boy's name?
08:31I want to call her Elsie, after my grandad's mother.
08:33Elsie?
08:35That is so old.
08:37So?
08:39She were a character, were Alan's mother.
08:41Oh, by God, she was.
08:43Remember that time she hit Albert Theddy with a frying pan?
08:45I've still got it marked to prove it.
08:47I've still got that.
08:49You shouldn't have said that about a big knickers on washing light.
08:51It were only an observation,
08:53it wasn't a criticism.
08:55Right, Elsie then.
08:57No, not Elsie.
08:59And can you keep right out of it?
09:01You don't even have an opinion.
09:03You left her.
09:05I didn't leave her.
09:07I just needed a break.
09:09We're not calling her Elsie.
09:11My mother were called Myra.
09:13That's when you don't hear so much anymore.
09:15You're not helping grandad.
09:17Excuse me.
09:19Hello?
09:21Hey,
09:23Pop Sculptor's Eye, your favourite set.
09:25Lawrence?
09:27Where's the DVD of Resident Evil Adoption?
09:29Don't you go around telling people that I like it.
09:31This is coming around for a sleepover and mum said we could watch it and I can't find it.
09:33Are you sure, Caroline said?
09:35Yeah, do you want to talk to her?
09:37No, no, no.
09:39You do not tell me that I don't have an opinion.
09:41Oh, I've got it.
09:43Where are you?
09:45I'm, I'm, I'm in Halifax.
09:47Cool, bye.
09:51Oh, have we agreed on something?
09:53Emily Jane.
09:55It's what my grandad calls her.
09:57Oh, that's good, that works.
09:59Emily Bronte.
10:01Emily Jane Bronte.
10:03I'll walk where my own nature would be leading.
10:05Who are you again?
10:07It vexes me to choose another guide.
10:09East?
10:11I'm Celia's son-in-law.
10:13Oh.
10:15So,
10:17why did she ring you to come and babysit again?
10:19I'm writing a novel.
10:21It's set on a farm, partly, here
10:23in West Yorkshire.
10:25I thought it would help if I could
10:27immerse myself in things
10:29a bit.
10:33So, I follow and cook for everyone.
10:35That's...
10:37Cool.
10:39Do you want to see it?
10:41Of course I want to see it. Here.
10:47We couldn't decide whose surname to use,
10:49so we put both, only we put ours first
10:51because it's alphabetical.
10:53So, what was Harriet Morris doing there?
10:55They were round at their house when we called.
10:57Emily Jane Greenwood-Wallis.
10:59Wow, that's a gobful
11:01for somebody who only weighs six pounds three ounces.
11:05I'm going to ring grandad and tell him.
11:07He'll be pleased. That was his name for her.
11:09Right, well, if you do,
11:11say hello to him.
11:13From me.
11:15And, me and Ellie
11:17seen each other down Rippenden tonight
11:19for a drink. Is that right?
11:21We've decided we ought to take things steady
11:23for a bit and see what happens.
11:25Take things steady?
11:27Yeah.
11:29OK.
11:31And who's looking after her ladyship?
11:33Grandma Buggins?
11:35Well, I said I would.
11:37Yeah, so...
11:39So...
12:03Oh, text from Greg.
12:05He says he's running on time
12:07and he's looking forward to meeting us in the bar at 6.30.
12:13Well, when we were leaving just before,
12:15my mum said this thing she said.
12:17We've discussed it
12:19and Alan doesn't mind if you want to call him dad now we're married.
12:23Is that not...
12:25Well, that's nice, isn't it?
12:27I don't know. I like Alan. I like him a lot, but he's not my dad.
12:29My dad's dead,
12:31but he's still my dad. He'll always be my dad
12:33for all his faults.
12:35Did she say that?
12:37No. She wouldn't want to hear it.
13:01Hello, ladies.
13:03Hi, um...
13:05We've got a reservation.
13:07OK. Name?
13:11What are you thinking?
13:15I thought you'd had such a calm
13:17and complicated life compared to me
13:19with Kenneth.
13:21I'm sorry you haven't.
13:23And I've embroiled you in it now.
13:25Is that what you're thinking?
13:27No, no.
13:29I'm glad you can tell me things.
13:31Somebody with a good heart
13:33like you shouldn't have skeletons
13:35in their cupboard.
13:37It does still bother me.
13:39He were an alcoholic, more or less.
13:41He were handy with his fists,
13:43but he'd grown up in care.
13:45So I imagine
13:47it weren't entirely his fault
13:49that he turned out like he did.
13:51That might have died anyway.
13:53Yeah.
13:55Or had brain damage.
13:57Perhaps she did him a favour.
13:59If it were suicide.
14:03Was there still more to it than you've said?
14:05No, no.
14:07Only that.
14:10Right, well,
14:12if that's what the coroner said...
14:14PHONE RINGS
14:16That'll be Angus. Angus is here.
14:18Let's live with what's on the table.
14:25What's up?
14:27What's up?
14:29Which one are you again? Lawrence.
14:31Who is it? OK, Lawrence.
14:33Where's Daddy?
14:35Can I help you?
14:37Yes, I'm looking for John. He's not here.
14:39Well, where is he, then?
14:41Who wants to know? I do.
14:43That's stupid.
14:45Oh, is it?
14:47And you are? I'm Caroline's mother.
14:49Oh.
14:51Don't you worry.
14:53You're the whore.
14:55Angus.
14:57OK, look.
14:59I need to know where John is.
15:01Well, bad luck.
15:03I don't want to fight.
15:05Oh, well, you've probably come to the wrong place, then.
15:07I just want to know...
15:09You've got some bare-faced cheek.
15:11Coming here?
15:13Oh, is that me? Yeah, that's you.
15:15Have you any idea where he's likely to be?
15:17Not beside us.
15:19Let's face it, you're more likely to know than any of us.
15:21He's right. All right, can I speak to Caroline, then?
15:23No, you can't. Hello?
15:25It's me, Grandad. We've been up to the registry office in Halifax.
15:27Is Caroline in? No.
15:29Been where? Do you know where John is?
15:31Registered the baby. Oh, aye.
15:33I'm sorry.
15:35Oh, my God.
15:37What? Wow.
15:39What? And guess what we've called her.
15:41What? You're Celia.
15:43He's Alan. And?
15:45You're the couple that fell in love and got married.
15:47No. No, it's just...
15:49You can't call a baby that.
15:51Really, really amazing.
15:53Do we look like we give a stuff what you think?
15:55You are joking. What are they called?
15:57Yeah, no, I get that.
15:59Calamity Jane. No.
16:01Grandad, what? Calamity Jane?
16:03Never. He's in Halifax.
16:05Sorry? He rang earlier.
16:07My dad said he's in Halifax. Oh, Emily Jane!
16:09What's he doing in Halifax?
16:11I don't know. This way.
16:13That's Granny. Hi, Granny. That's Alan.
16:15He's gone to see her. Who?
16:17Gillian. That's your daughter.
16:19Has he? Have you got an address?
16:21I think I need me ears syringed.
16:23You what? What's Gillian's address?
16:25What's he gone there for?
16:27He's obsessed with her.
16:29Mum says to say hello.
16:31Grandad, I think she's...
16:33Sorry.
16:35Grandad?
16:43Hello.
16:45Shall I sit here?
16:55Do you want a drink?
16:57We've got ten minutes.
17:03So...
17:09Tell me some more about him.
17:11I told you everything there is to say.
17:13Anyway, I thought you weren't that interested.
17:15Can I have a gin and tonic? Thank you.
17:17I am. I am interested.
17:19You said you didn't need to get to know him.
17:21No, but we're here now, so...
17:29You look beautiful.
17:31You are unbelievable.
17:33You know that, don't you?
17:35Kate, what you have to remember is that...
17:37I was so delighted when he told me you'd booked this play.
17:39OK, but...
17:41I was so flattered, cos it was like, for the first time,
17:43you were happy to acknowledge outside the house
17:45that I was your partner.
17:47And then you go and book
17:49two separate rooms.
17:51Mentally, I've left.
17:53Mentally, I'm not even here.
17:55Physically, I'm here because Greg's coming
17:57and I'd like to see him. Beyond that...
17:59Oh, look, OK.
18:01I've come up with it at work, arriving in separate cars, because...
18:03That's just a practical arrangement.
18:05You're high-profile, you need to be discreet, but this...
18:07And you know what, Caroline?
18:09They all know.
18:11They all know.
18:13It just makes us look sad, actually.
18:21I'm not trying to fool anyone.
18:23It just makes us look embarrassed
18:25and old-fashioned and ridiculous.
18:27You should have said something
18:29when we checked in, if you weren't happy.
18:31I was too stunned, I was too... Did I just hear that?
18:33Oh, look, all right.
18:35You know, this isn't easy for me.
18:37I was going to book a double room when I rang up,
18:39but then...
18:41What?
18:43I couldn't.
18:45Why not?
18:47Why not?
18:49Do you think we're the first gay couple
18:51who've ever stayed here?
18:53Anyway, I popped in at reception earlier
18:55and I said, actually, me and my girlfriend,
18:57the woman I sleep with, the woman I have sex with,
18:59we'd like a double room, please, instead of these two singles.
19:01Did you?
19:03No.
19:05I was tempted, but then I thought, sod it.
19:07I mean, for me, if I'd been booking this,
19:09the whole point would have been that I got to spend
19:11two whole days and nights in the same room as you.
19:13That would have been the single biggest thing
19:15that made me want to book it in the first place,
19:17but obviously, for you, that wasn't a thing.
19:19So...
19:21We can still sleep together.
19:23Sneaking around like a couple of sad idiots
19:25in a bedroom farce from the 1970s, no thanks.
19:27Look,
19:29I'm still getting used to this.
19:31To what? Caroline, it's 2013, you're 46.
19:33You know, in Iran,
19:35they stone women to death for having any sort of...
19:39genital...
19:41sexual contact.
19:43This is Yorkshire.
19:45You doubt my point. Not really.
19:47Sometimes I still feel a bit weird about it, that's all.
19:49It's not personal, it's not about you, it's about me.
19:51And suddenly, on the phone when I was booking, I panicked.
19:53And I knew you'd be cross, but I didn't know what to do about it.
19:55Caroline, you're a doctor of philosophy.
19:57You run a huge school.
19:59You have the welfare of 857 children
20:01in your hands on a daily basis. You don't panic.
20:03I panicked.
20:05I panicked.
20:07I was talking to a testosterone-stacked
20:0918-year-old...
20:11jock who couldn't spell Elliot.
20:13Well, the L's and the T's aren't always obvious.
20:15And I lost my bottle.
20:17Why?
20:19Because, because...
20:27Because I'm me.
20:33Not falling for that, Caroline.
20:35Not any more.
20:37You've blown it.
20:39Oh, don't say that, please.
20:41Don't say that.
20:43Greg. Kate.
20:45How are you?
20:47I'm good, I'm great, I'm really well.
20:49Look at you, you look fantastic.
20:51Yeah, I feel fantastic.
20:53And the good news is...
20:55is I've checked in, I've booked a room,
20:57so I can join you for dinner if that's...
20:59Yeah? Oh, wow, that's great.
21:01So what are you drinking? Are you drinking?
21:03I am drinking...
21:05Oh, cos you've stopped.
21:07So tell us about this novel, then.
21:09Oh, the novel.
21:11Well, it's barely started.
21:13It's at a very preliminary stage.
21:15What's the plot?
21:17Well, essentially,
21:19it's a sort of...
21:21Well, it's a family saga,
21:23I suppose, potentially.
21:25OK. And what happens?
21:27Well...
21:29Who's in it besides me?
21:31Well, when I said it was you... Are you in it?
21:33I didn't mean literally you, I meant more...
21:35Am I in it? Er, more...
21:37sort of you're a sort of inspiration,
21:39as it were, if that didn't sound too...
21:41Wanky.
21:43Yeah. Does a bit. Good word.
21:45Am I your muse?
21:47Well,
21:49at the risk of sounding
21:51wanky again... Wow.
21:53Never been anybody's muse
21:55before. Not that I'm aware of.
21:57There's a surprise.
21:59What of? Oops.
22:01Sorry. Calamity.
22:03It's going to stick now, thanks to deaf grandad.
22:05I like it.
22:07Wish he'd called me that. Sounds like someone
22:09who can kick ass.
22:11Wah! Calam!
22:13That sounds like
22:15the door.
22:27Sorry.
22:29Oh, hello.
22:31I overreacted.
22:35Calamity Jane.
22:37They've been to the registry office.
22:39You are kidding. Well, half kidding.
22:41Emily Jane.
22:47I am sorry.
22:49But I'm sticking with Calamity,
22:51because
22:53it's got a certain
22:55Juno sequel.
22:59It was a long time ago. It must have been horrible.
23:01And you had it to deal with.
23:03And I'm sorry.
23:05Has Uncle
23:07Robbie had his tea?
23:15Robbie's here.
23:17Hello.
23:19Hello.
23:21Sit down. I'll get you a plate.
23:23Right, I'm off.
23:25See you later.
23:27Yeah.
23:29John's here.
23:31He's staying
23:33over.
23:35Doing some research.
23:37He's writing
23:39a novel. Right.
23:41I've had another bust up with my dad
23:43because of yesterday. How?
23:45Because I had a go at
23:47Sylvia, didn't I? Frankly,
23:49I've trapped you. Sorry.
23:51No, it's fine.
23:57And what's Caroline?
23:59She's...
24:01I don't know.
24:03She's still...
24:05Oh, I don't have a huge amount to do
24:07with her.
24:13So what's it about then?
24:15This novel?
24:17Josh Hepworth.
24:19Do you remember him?
24:21Oh, you do. He fancied you.
24:23Brown hair.
24:25Five foot ten. Scarf.
24:27Acne. Brogues.
24:29He always wore brogues.
24:31He lived in the same house as PJ in second year.
24:33We went there for a party once.
24:35Fancy dress. Who did we go as?
24:37Oh, shit. I don't remember.
24:39Lizzie drank too much.
24:41Surely not. And she puked
24:43this spectacular tidal wave of multicoloured
24:45vomit into a doorway at Woolworth.
24:47This is ringing a bell. Anyway.
24:49I'm in Oslo and I bump into Josh Hepworth.
24:51How bad is that?
24:53Yeah, he works there.
24:55In Oslo. He's working for Ericsson.
24:57I was just on holiday.
24:59Wow.
25:01MUSIC PLAYS
25:15Let it go.
25:17I would, only it sickens me.
25:19Don't let it.
25:21Maybe Judith wasn't the first.
25:25If he can insinuate himself so readily
25:27into women's beds, what does that mean?
25:31He's been mucking about behind Caroline's back
25:33for years.
25:35I know she's wondered.
25:37Yeah, well, she's shot at him now, isn't she?
25:39He knew he'd look on bright side.
25:41He'll admit he's
25:43matched with our Gillian.
25:45One way or another.
25:51Utter, utter rubbish.
25:53I can't watch television.
25:55Not with anything police-related.
25:57I'm just chucking a beer can at telly.
25:59I'm going, what trash?
26:01Do your research. Would it kill you?
26:03I'm going, come and talk to me.
26:05I'll tell you how we investigate
26:07a murder. Not Inspector Dudar
26:09and his wacky car with
26:11Sergeant Pillock's sidekick.
26:13There's a team. A whole team
26:15of dedicated, professional,
26:17highly trained officers.
26:19Yeah, yeah.
26:21Yeah.
26:23I could tell you some stories.
26:25I could tell you what to put in your book.
26:27What's it about again?
26:29Who the hell's that?
26:37Where's the fire?
26:39Sorry? Is someone's arse on fire?
26:41Banging like that. Do you need a bucket of water?
26:43Eh? Bucket of sand?
26:45Are you Gillian?
26:47Might be. I'm looking for John. Is he here?
26:49And you are? Judith.
26:51That's something to do with you.
26:53Are you?
26:55Well, well, well.
26:57Well, well, well.
26:59What do you want? Him.
27:01I know he's here.
27:09You
27:11bastard! Sorry, hang on. What?
27:13What's this? This was my
27:15idea. What was? To write a novel
27:17about two old people in love. It was not.
27:19We discussed it, certainly, but it was me
27:21who... And I said that'd make a great story.
27:23It must have been obvious to you what my intention
27:25was. Well, I could say that.
27:27I could say it must have been obvious to you what my
27:29intention was when I said that'd make
27:31a great story. No.
27:33You were talking about it as a
27:35thing that had happened, was
27:37happening, and I was the one saying that'd
27:39make a great novel. That's really not...
27:41You're a plagiarist.
27:43No. You even copied
27:45ideas I talked about, writing
27:47it from Bathsheba Everdeen's
27:49point of view. That was...
27:51That was entirely my idea. No.
27:53I put the idea in
27:55your head. This is a fantasy
27:57you've misremembered. No. You probably had a
27:59drink. You definitely had a drink. Judith,
28:01it's my story. This is my family.
28:03You don't even know these people. So bloody what?
28:05Shakespeare didn't know Richard III.
28:07It didn't stop him writing a shitty play about him.
28:09I would not steal someone else's idea.
28:11Let me explain to you the difference between
28:13observing something
28:15and making the decision to
28:17write about it. I understand
28:19what you're saying. Why don't you both calm down?
28:21There's a baby trying to sleep here.
28:23This is Robbie.
28:25Is it?
28:27God!
28:29Wow!
28:31What a fascinating menage.
28:33What's that supposed to mean?
28:35They've slept together.
28:37These two.
28:39Well, I'm saying that.
28:41I've only got his word for it, so
28:43obviously it may be just another of his little
28:45wish-fulfilment fantasies.
28:47Who knows? Sorry.
28:49That's just not true.
28:51Really? So you made that up too?
28:53How
28:55dare you? No. No, I didn't
28:57make anything up. You told her that I'd slept with you.
28:59No, I didn't. She's lying. I'm not lying.
29:01That's what he told me. You may have got
29:03the wrong end of the stick then. So you
29:05made that up, just like you're saying
29:07this trite was your
29:09idea when it wasn't.
29:13Have you slept together?
29:15No.
29:17What did he tell you? Nothing.
29:19I didn't tell her anything. Describe to me
29:21the language that he used.
29:23Language?
29:25Well, he was
29:27here, obviously. Drunk.
29:29Upset.
29:31Angry, because he'd just found out
29:33that Caroline had been shopping round the corner.
29:35And
29:37Celia was here.
29:39She was upset too, because he was mouthing
29:41off. And Alan.
29:43And you were here.
29:45And it was Caroline's birthday.
29:47I cut an artery
29:49open with a broken bottle.
29:51It was your
29:53birthday too.
29:55They have the same birthday.
29:57Well, it was that night he
29:59claimed it happened.
30:01Although he said he was so
30:03pissed the next day, he
30:05barely remembered what happened.
30:07And like I say,
30:09he's probably making it up.
30:12She's making it up.
30:14How could she be making it up? She wasn't here.
30:16Yes, but we didn't. We didn't.
30:23All right, we did.
30:25We did.
30:27So what? You're clearly no good
30:29for her, so why don't you just clear
30:31off? Huh?
30:33You've made her life a living
30:35hell in the past.
30:37Trying to get her arrested when she was her most vulnerable.
30:39Yes, I know all about it.
30:41And now you prey on her
30:43because you know how generous and good
30:45and kind-hearted she is.
30:47Prey on her? Yeah, well, get
30:49lost. She doesn't need you.
30:51She doesn't want you. She rang me
30:53to come over and help because she was at the end of
30:55her tether with everything. With all of you
30:57and especially with you.
30:59Is this true?
31:05Some of it.
31:07Partially.
31:09After yesterday.
31:11They're sleeping with her.
31:27Shit!
31:29Oh, shit!
31:37Come here.
31:45What the hell's going on?
31:47Granny, get your gun.
31:49He stabbed me in petrol and he's cut
31:51my ear clean off and now he's
31:53gonna set a light to me. What's all this
31:55sticky, mucky mess?
31:57You shocked me, Granny.
31:59Don't you granny me, you monkey.
32:01Just look at this mess.
32:03Are you drunk?
32:05Why is there two of you, Granny?
32:07What have you been drinking?
32:09How much have you had?
32:11It is not
32:13funny.
32:15Celia, it's William.
32:17He's in outpatients.
32:19Outpatients?
32:21Hilarious.
32:23He spent four days in intensive care.
32:25That's so not hilarious.
32:27Listen, er,
32:29gosh, we should talk
32:31about the baby, the baby plan.
32:33I just need to find
32:35the bathroom and then you can tell me
32:37more about what you have in mind.
32:39Shall I be a tick?
32:47Look, I don't think I've ever
32:49met anyone who's quite so fond of the sound
32:51of their own voice.
32:53Right, well,
32:55I'm going to bed.
32:57Because I can't stand any more
32:59of this bloke's self-obsessed
33:01drivel.
33:03OK.
33:05I'm sure neither of you will mind
33:07whether I'm here or not.
33:09Thought not.
33:13Good night, then.
33:15Good night.
33:17...
33:19...
33:21...
33:23...
33:25...
33:27...
33:29...
33:31I'm sorry we've been so long.
33:33We had to wait at the police station
33:35to report it.
33:37What happened?
33:39Just these two idiots.
33:41Here, you sit down there.
33:43I'll make us all
33:45a nice cup of tea.
33:49Where's Starsky and Hodge?
33:51In bed, fast asleep.
33:53I started trying to tidy the kitchen
33:55but I really didn't know where things went.
34:01Hey, how are you feeling, lad?
34:07I left work
34:09and walked out.
34:11Because I couldn't stand it any more.
34:15I get talked to like crap
34:17by the chef and one of the waiters.
34:19They're both jerks and they both think they're...
34:21special.
34:23And the truth is they haven't got one brain cell
34:25to rub together between them.
34:27So I walked out.
34:29I didn't want to come home, so...
34:33I went into town.
34:35I was gonna go to this
34:37club where some of them from school go.
34:41There's this girl I like.
34:45Grace, she goes there.
34:47So I was getting some...
34:49money out of the cashpoint
34:51and...
34:53there's two of them.
34:57This lad goes.
34:59Lenders 50p.
35:01And I was stupid.
35:03I took my wallet out
35:05and they smacked me in the head
35:07and they got me on the floor and they kicked me
35:09where they shouldn't.
35:12Then they went through my pockets and...
35:16I...
35:19I couldn't move.
35:21I was in so much pain and I couldn't stop them.
35:26And they were laughing.
35:29And calling me stupid.
35:32Calling me names.
35:34How could you remember what they looked like
35:36when you spoke to police?
35:38Yeah.
35:40Oh, good.
35:42Your mum will go mad.
35:45She'll go,
35:47trust you not to be able to hold down a job.
35:50Well, I don't know your mum as well as you do,
35:52but I can't imagine she will.
35:57I couldn't stand it.
36:00They made me feel like a freak,
36:02like I was the odd one out.
36:04I always feel like the odd one out.
36:06Like the odd one out.
36:08You won't.
36:10First time I met you,
36:12I remember thinking,
36:14what a smashing young fella.
36:16Huh? Up at Farm.
36:18Me and Celia's little engagement party.
36:20You shook my hand and I thought,
36:22what a fine young man.
36:26I'll tell you something I've learned over years,
36:28and it's taken me a long time,
36:30but I've...
36:32I've just about got it sus now.
36:35Life's all about confidence.
36:39And the only way you gain confidence
36:41is by putting yourself into situations
36:43where you do feel a little bit out of your depth,
36:45like you did with this job.
36:48Where you do feel uncomfortable,
36:50where you do have to deal with people
36:52who you might not naturally be drawn to.
36:56And I really admire you for doing that.
37:00For trying.
37:02And the thing to do next
37:04is to dust yourself down
37:06and get right back in there and try something else.
37:08Because you can only get stronger,
37:10and you might feel like the odd one out now.
37:12But you won't.
37:16You're going places, they aren't.
37:22I only wish our Raph were going places with you.
37:33I got your text.
37:36Are you joining me?
37:38Are you waiting for Greg?
37:49What time is he leaving?
37:51I don't know.
37:54I came back downstairs last night to try and find him,
37:56but you weren't here.
37:58I don't know.
38:00I came downstairs last night to try and find him,
38:02but you weren't here.
38:04You weren't in here, you weren't in the bar,
38:06and you weren't in your bedroom.
38:08I knocked. Twice.
38:10Went back half an hour later.
38:12He invited me up to his room.
38:14For a nightcap.
38:16Oh. You've made a start.
38:18No.
38:20We just talked.
38:22Look, all right, I'm sorry.
38:24I am sorry.
38:26I was a coward. I won't be again.
38:28But I do have to say, for me,
38:30if we are going to be parents,
38:32this bloke is the wrong person.
38:34He's perfect, from my point of view.
38:36I couldn't go through with it, not with him.
38:38He's...
38:40He's a jerk.
38:42He's one of my oldest friends.
38:44Whatever impression you got last night,
38:46he's not a jerk.
38:48He's a jerk.
38:50Whatever impression you got last night,
38:52he's not a jerk.
39:04I think I'm going to have to give up on the idea
39:06of buying John out the house.
39:10I think it's unrealistic.
39:14It'd just be a burden.
39:16Right.
39:18Tea or coffee?
39:20Neither yet, thanks. I'm waiting for someone else.
39:22OK.
39:24I want to get pregnant.
39:26I want to have a child. I want to get on with it.
39:28Yeah. All right, fine.
39:30But...
39:32I don't need your blessing.
39:34Not anymore. Not after yesterday.
39:36And what you just said about the house.
39:38We were doing it for all the wrong reasons, anyway.
39:40You don't want what's best for me.
39:42You never did. You want what's best for you all the time.
39:44I worry about how upset you'd be
39:46if it didn't happen. I don't want to change, Caroline.
39:48You're too... If you got pregnant
39:50and then lost it again... You're too old to change.
39:52I think it'll always be about you.
39:56It's not true. Don't worry about my bill.
39:58I'll pay for myself.
40:02Are you dumping me?
40:06No.
40:08I don't think so.
40:12I don't think anything ever really started, did it?
40:16A couple of embarrassed fumbles.
40:22It's just been a bit of an odd mess, really, hasn't it?
40:26Which is a shame.
40:28Because I would have done absolutely anything for you.
40:38We didn't do anything last night, but that is still the plan.
40:40We're both going to stay here tonight.
40:42No, look, this was meant to be...
40:44It was meant to be, Caroline. It was meant to be you and me.
40:46It was meant to be my birthday.
40:50I was so happy when we got here yesterday.
40:54But you blew it.
40:56You blew it before Greg even turned up,
40:58so don't blame him.
41:00Is this hard for me?
41:02Yeah, well, grow up.
41:04I think it's easy for anyone.
41:06Only don't bother.
41:08Don't grow up.
41:10Not on my account.
41:14Come on.
41:32Come on.
41:34There's a good girl.
41:38There's a good girl.
41:44There's a good girl.
42:02I've made some coffee.
42:04Well done.
42:06Where's your girlfriend?
42:08Her car's stood outside.
42:10She's not my girlfriend.
42:12I had no idea.
42:14Somebody crashed out in my bed.
42:16She polished off the other two bottles of wine you bought
42:18in less time than it takes me to bend over
42:20and tie one shoelace.
42:22And my emergency supply of medicinal brandy
42:24seems to have disappeared as if by magic as well.
42:26She really is the real McCoy, I'm afraid.
42:28She doesn't just languish
42:30in the amateur division like you and me, you mean.
42:32I haven't a bloody clue whose that car is.
42:34She's probably nicked it.
42:36You all right, darling?
42:38How was your night?
42:41They're taking it steady.
42:43I heard.
42:45Shit, what have you done to your face?
42:48Oh, you're uncool.
42:50Robbie's fallen out with me again.
42:52Why?
42:54He's...
42:56He's got wrong end at stick, yet again.
42:58So...
43:00What about this time?
43:02I saw...
43:04Too ridiculous.
43:07Did he do that?
43:10PHONE RINGS
43:12What fresh hell is this?
43:14Hello?
43:16SIGHS
43:18Harry?
43:20No, he's in Harrogate.
43:30Oh, no.
43:33Are you sure you don't want any bacon and eggs, boys?
43:36Sausages, black pudding, fried bread.
43:39Cooked in lard.
43:41With custard on top.
43:43Shut up, Steve.
43:45You shouldn't have cleaned the kitchen, Gran.
43:47You should have left it and made them do it.
43:49Well, I was tempted.
43:51Idiots.
43:53Shut up, Beano boy.
43:55That's you.
43:57PHONE RINGS
43:59Hello?
44:01Dad, it's me, Gillian.
44:03Listen, I'm sorry.
44:05I'm sorry I spoke to Celia like I did.
44:09Can I talk to her?
44:11It's our Gillian.
44:13She wants to say sorry.
44:17Hello?
44:19Celia, listen, I'm sorry.
44:21You didn't know I knew Robbie then,
44:23and I overreacted.
44:25And I'm sorry.
44:27Well, that's all right, love.
44:29I, um...
44:31Is my dad all right?
44:33He's fine, love.
44:35OK, look, something's happened.
44:37I need you to tell him something.
44:39And he might be upset.
44:43I'd tell him myself that it might be best coming from you.
44:47Cos you're with him.
44:50And he loves you.
44:52What time are you supposed to be there?
44:549.30.
44:56Oh, but that's going to look good, isn't it?
44:58That'll teach your son and his stupid friend
45:00the two plonkers that don't turn up.
45:02Come on, get changed. I'll drive you in.
45:04Yes, love, I will.
45:06Ta-ta.
45:10This must have been a rugby match.
45:14Something happened.
45:23Sit down.
45:33Maurice is dead.
45:39A neighbour found him at the bottom of his stairs just this morning.
45:44They think a stroke.
45:49Are you all right?
45:53He'd have known nothing about it if it was a stroke.
46:03Shall I make some fresh tea?
46:07In a minute.
46:11A bit of sugar in it.
46:13Aye.
46:19I am sorry.
46:25Aye.
46:28Aye.
46:32Aye.
46:43You were a nice man.
46:46Kind.
46:49I'd do anything for anybody.
46:51Yeah.
46:54I've known him all my life.
46:57He's always been there.
46:59Uncle Maurice.
47:03My dad's known him since they were tiny.
47:05They were infants together at board knackers.
47:07Sorry?
47:10There was the national school and the board school.
47:13Not boarding school, just the board school.
47:16No.
47:18So you were either a nashbog or a board knacker.
47:22And my dad and Maurice were board knackers.
47:27Celia was a nashbog.
47:30But Maurice and me dad...
47:32No.
47:35In their little shorts, during war.
47:39Oh.
47:44Bless him.
47:46Maurice.
47:51I'd better ring back.
47:53See if me dad's all right.
47:56Damn.
47:58What?
48:01Death.
48:03Dying.
48:06He's a bitch.
48:14That's him going before me.
48:20He were right as rail last time I saw him.
48:25Who'd have thought?
48:32Who would have thought?
48:54I'm sorry.
49:14The ironic thing is we've had a bit of good news since.
49:19You know that bungalow we went to see when I said we were just looking?
49:23Well, we put in an offer.
49:27And the estate agent rang just before lunch to say the people selling it have said yes.
49:34Right. Gosh.
49:37Well, that's...
49:41I know you wanted us to put money in here.
49:45But realistically...
49:46No, it's fine. I don't. It's...
49:49You should never have asked. It was...
49:53I didn't want to face up to it, but...
49:56I'm going to have to.
49:59I'm just going to have to let it go.
50:01Now, what about Kate putting money in? Is that not...
50:05No, that's...
50:08I've blown it.
50:10How?
50:11I'm just no...
50:13good at things.
50:16Sometimes.
50:24Maurice was a kind, good man
50:30in his private life and in his public life as a local councillor.
50:36For over 30 years, he served people of Brickendon.
50:42And he always did it with enthusiasm,
50:47integrity
50:50and a good heart.
50:54He always had time for people.
50:57Anyone and everyone, young and old.
51:02My only regret with Maurice, on a personal note, is...
51:08I didn't ask him to be my best man when Celia and I got married.
51:15I... I couldn't choose between him and Harry,
51:19and I still don't know that I could choose between them even now.
51:27Even if I still had choice.
51:31But point is...
51:36I don't have choice.
51:39And for that, I'm sorry.
51:44So very deeply sorry.
51:50Bless you, Maurice.
51:54You were one of life's treasures.
52:31It's been a week, did you...?
52:34Yes, we did.
52:36Wow.
52:40Wow.
52:43So, I finished what I came into this room to do,
52:47and so now I'm leaving it.
52:52Right.
53:03What were John doing at our house?
53:07Oh, he still fancies me.
53:10Nothing happened.
53:12I heard what he had to say, weighed things up,
53:14and then I sent him packing.
53:16Did Judith turn up?
53:18She did, yes.
53:20What was all that about?
53:22They're both reckoning to write a novel about you two.
53:25I know.
53:26She reckoned it was her idea, he reckoned it was his.
53:29I've got an always-on-three-basement-never-out idea.
53:33Dosey boggers.
53:38Hey, you all right, Harry lad?
53:40Eh? Oh, aye, yeah.
53:43Just...
53:46you know.
53:52I'm wondering...
53:54if we should get married again.
53:56Oh, properly.
53:58Proper big dune of expense spared.
54:00Invite everybody, everybody we've ever heard of, eh?
54:04Would you like to be my best man, Harry, if we did?
54:07I don't know.
54:09I might feel a bit...
54:11not right now.
54:12Oh, shut up, innit we? Say yes.
54:16Oh, assuming I'm invited.
54:19I assume I come under the umbrella of everybody you've ever heard of.
54:23I'll do it, Gran, and I'll be your best man.
54:25Hey, bugger off, you.
54:27If anybody's doing it, it'll be me.
54:29In honour...
54:31of Maurice.
54:33Maurice.
54:34Maurice.
54:36Well, what do you reckon?
54:39Will you marry me?
54:40Again?
54:42Oh...
54:44Go on, then.
54:46Yeah!
54:48Yes!
54:49Oh, get a room!
54:56Can I go and live with my dad?
54:57I really don't think that's a good idea.
54:59Robbie's got this new girlfriend.
55:01Hello!
55:02Cheryl, how do you do?
55:03She's moving in with him, apparently.
55:04Right.
55:05How are the wedding plans going?
55:06He's gone and invited Ted, his brother.
55:08Oh, he's got a sister.
55:10See, you've got a sister.
55:11Alan Buttershaw.
55:12To be honest, you haven't actually sold your house.
55:14No, but that's planned.
55:15I've offered to organise the wedding for them,
55:17and I said you'd help me.
55:18Mum, Dad went out.
55:20Can you come and get me?
55:21I am so deep in the doghouse,
55:22it won't ever be worth trying to get out.
55:24Lawrence!
55:25Where is Lawrence?
55:26I never told anyone this.
55:27Don't tell me something you're gonna regret.
55:29I want to tell you.
55:30Okay.
55:42I love you.
55:43I love you.
55:44I love you.
55:45I love you.
55:46I love you.
55:47I love you.
55:48I love you.
55:49I love you.
55:50I love you.
55:51I love you.
55:52I love you.
55:53I love you.
55:54I love you.
55:55I love you.
55:56I love you.
55:57I love you.
55:58I love you.
55:59I love you.
56:00I love you.
56:01I love you.
56:02I love you.
56:03I love you.
56:04I love you.
56:05I love you.
56:06I love you.
56:07I love you.
56:08I love you.
56:09I love you.
56:10I love you.