• 2 months ago
#Hoshyarian #HaroonRafiq #SaleemAlbela #GogaPasroori #AghaMajid #ArzuuFatima #ComedyShow #Funny #Entertainment

Agha Majid Aur Saleem Albela Nay Olympic Gold Medal Jeetne ki Thaan li
Transcript
00:00Hello viewers, I am Haroon Rafiq and you are watching Hoshiyaariya.
00:22Dosto, agar aap chahate hain ki cardiovascular diseases hoti hain,
00:26jo dil se mutaalik bimaariyan hain, wo aapko na hoon,
00:30ki unka chance bahut kam ho jaye.
00:32Aur aap yeh chahate hain ki aapke dimaag ko khoon ki raawani bahut behtar ho jaye.
00:38Aapka dimaag pehle se zyada behtar kaam karne lag jaye.
00:41Aur aapki kuwat-e-mudaafiyat,
00:42yaani aapka immune system bahut behtar ho jaye.
00:45Aur aapke jo pathe hain,
00:47wo pehle se mazboot ho jaye aur poore jism mein,
00:50khoon jo hai, wo jagay-jagay, oxygen pohcha de,
00:53toh uska aaj aapko main ek ilaaj batata hu.
00:56Balke uske liye main aapko aaj ek tariqa batata hu.
00:58Wo yeh hain ki aap zyada se zyada hoshiyaariyan dekhe.
01:01Ji haan, main aapko bilkul durst keh raha hu.
01:03Aur scientifically, medically aapko main durst keh raha hu.
01:06Ki science yeh kehti hain, ki jab aap haste hain,
01:09toh aapki therapy hoti hain.
01:11Aapki jo therapy hoti hain,
01:12laughter se, humour se, mazaak se,
01:15wo bilkul aise hi hoti hain,
01:17ki aapke jism ke liye yeh shock absorber hai.
01:21Gaadi ke andar, agar shock absorbers na ho,
01:24toh aap andaza karein ki agar road kharab ho,
01:27jagay-jagay potholes ho,
01:29ya bumps ho,
01:30toh aap kaisa safar mein mehsoos karenge,
01:32us gaadi mein bethe hue.
01:34Zindagi bilkul waise hi guzarti hain,
01:36jaise bagayar shock absorbers ke koi gaadi ho.
01:39Yeh bahut aaham hai,
01:41ki apni zindagi, apni life ki gaadi mein
01:43yeh shock absorbers lagayen.
01:45Aur wo hai humour,
01:46wo hai laughter.
01:47Isliye hoshiyariyan bhi dekhte rahein,
01:49aur iske saath-saath,
01:50jahan bhi mizaak ka mauka mile,
01:52wo chhode na,
01:53badi aaham cheez hoti hain.
01:54Aaye, isi pehgaam ke saath chhuru karte hain aaj ka show.
01:57Aaj aapko sehat ki baat ho rahi hain,
01:59toh akhaade mein leke chalte hain,
02:00aur dekhte hain akhaade mein
02:01isaak kya ho raha hain.
02:02Jaldi kar kera, sahi kar kera.
02:04Kya karein ho?
02:05Yeh bheech hoti,
02:06maame haan bheech hoti,
02:07thode yeh.
02:08Yeh dana kera khuju.
02:09Yeh kya kar kya rahein ho?
02:10Yeh kya kar kya rahein ho?
02:11Yeh duaai bana rahein hain,
02:12kis cheez ki?
02:13Yeh jeda saada munda nahi,
02:14Arshad Nadeem,
02:15jee jee.
02:16Gold medal leh aake aaya,
02:17jee jee.
02:18Wo muneyanu main sunjaya,
02:19main aage,
02:20tusi bhi hai lumping chh jaao.
02:21Achha.
02:22Woh khutlab kamaaj laaya,
02:23toh main bana rahein hain,
02:24duaai.
02:25Nahi, nahi, nahi,
02:26agar unke body mein,
02:27unke blood mein,
02:28dawaa aagey,
02:29toh woh disqualified ho.
02:30Woh kera ho,
02:31duaa nahi,
02:32kera woh jari hundi hai.
02:33Yeh kuzirti duaa aaje.
02:34Kaunsi?
02:35Kuzirti.
02:36Achha, achha.
02:37Toh tumhe kya lag raha hai,
02:38Nazim,
02:39kitne gold medal jeet hoge?
02:40Cheez kathukat.
02:41Humari duaa hai,
02:42ke aapki tamanna puri ho,
02:43ismein daal kya keh rahein hain?
02:44Woh khana khara ba?
02:45Cheez saaji.
02:46Yeh tukhme khitmi paayi ho?
02:47Cheez saaji,
02:48tukhme khitmi aap paayi ho?
02:49Tukhme langa paayi ho?
02:50Aanji, aanji.
02:51Tukhme malathi paayi ho?
02:52Paati, saaji.
02:53Woh sara kuch hai de,
02:54jee paati paayi ho?
02:55Yaar, yeh tumhre
02:56thande kisam ke athleet
02:57banane lagey ho.
02:58Paaji,
02:59shakeer karo ke,
03:00yeh jadee dwaai hai,
03:01yeh jadee steer ride nahi je.
03:02Achha,
03:03ismein steer ride.
03:04Yeh jadee munde
03:05gym karte hain,
03:06yeh jadee party bada hi,
03:07yeh steer ride je.
03:08Achha,
03:09sab steer rides nahi hote.
03:11Yeh munda
03:12karatyaar kar rahe ho,
03:13gola nahi sodte.
03:14Achha,
03:15short putt.
03:16Yeh nahi jadee
03:17tukhme aake the,
03:18yeh sodte nahi.
03:19Aanji,
03:20woh toh putar
03:21piche hi sodta hai.
03:22Haan,
03:23woh gardan ke paas
03:24rakhe na usko.
03:25Haan,
03:26ithe kere rakhe na.
03:27Haan,
03:28woh 180 degree
03:29ghoom ke maate.
03:30Yeh nahi ithe rakhe
03:31usko gola lagta hai,
03:32phoon aaya hai itha.
03:33Haan,
03:34mehna style hi
03:35aisa nahi tha,
03:36lagta hai
03:37mayya kehne lagta hai.
03:38Swimming ke exercise
03:39koi nahi.
03:40Yeh kyun bethi mein hai?
03:41Kaun?
03:42Haan,
03:43mehne waqe
03:44yeh kaun hai?
03:45Kyun bethi mein hai?
03:46Sare aisa jana
03:47sade
03:48guzurg ne maa
03:49pehaan ne.
03:50Achha,
03:51pehaan meri
03:52hoya ki yeh?
03:53Ki yeh?
03:54Gaal daas tu.
03:55Gaal pata ki yeh?
03:56Haan,
03:57yeh te
03:58agli bhi gaal chala
03:59na ki yeh?
04:00Akharo,
04:01ek minute.
04:02Jo hindi yeh?
04:03Hoya ki yeh
04:04pehaan meri hai?
04:05Swaade hundi hai na.
04:06Haan,
04:07mehna kalli ro hundi hai,
04:08pehaan meri hai.
04:09Yeh te gaal ho gayi
04:10ki tu aadhe hundi hai.
04:11Kena tu aadhe hundi hai.
04:12Tu kaun pehaan hai?
04:13Tu rag raha laa.
04:14Chala,
04:15tu aadhe hundi hai.
04:16Toh ke kuch gaal hai.
04:17Jo meri nal ho rahi hai.
04:18Oho.
04:19Keh rahi hai,
04:20aisa doodh
04:21dasse gyi
04:22kaun kaha gayi?
04:23Yaar,
04:24apna gaam karo,
04:25ek meena
04:26pandra din
04:27lagan gayi.
04:28Mere kaar te
04:29billa kabza karna chanda.
04:30Billa kya?
04:31Hai kya billa?
04:32Badmaash.
04:33Oho.
04:34Nakalli jaan,
04:35kabza karna chanda.
04:36Kabza karna chanda.
04:37Meenu karon
04:38katna chanda.
04:39Naar ho,
04:40meri pehaan hai.
04:41Meri kera zimmedaari hai.
04:42Billa tere kaar te
04:43kabza kare,
04:44phir menu kera
04:45dassi.
04:46Dekho,
04:47thark
04:48amdaad
04:49pehaan
04:50baaste hai.
04:51Meri matat
04:52karo.
04:53Baaji,
04:54mataad ke nahi hai.
04:55Baad tuhi chhaar
04:56de ho.
04:57Athe billa de
04:58kaan phara maange.
04:59Hain.
05:00Hote do palwaan
05:01baan maange.
05:02Zimmedaari naal
05:03laa hai.
05:04Ten chaar
05:05chhpeda maar
05:06ke de
05:07nikal gaya
05:08maaag hai.
05:09Maami jo
05:10maaag hai,
05:11ko jado
05:12unni
05:13gaali nahi
05:14koi keeti.
05:15Reh meri hai
05:16pehaan.
05:17Haan ji.
05:18Jan maaag
05:19jari gaal
05:20keeti hai,
05:21phalwaan
05:22ho jade
05:23kaan.
05:24Kabza kare
05:25de dassi.
05:26Haan.
05:27Ab unke
05:28dar se
05:29kare gayi nahi
05:30ho.
05:31Aap jaayen.
05:32Jaadu,
05:34ragat so raja.
05:37Oh my God.
05:39Aali yeh the hi hai maa.
05:40Koti jump hai gayi.
05:42Yeh kaun hai?
05:43Yeh try kar rahe hain,
05:44kera long jump di.
05:46Okay.
05:47Yaar Olympics mein toh
05:48short jump kuch nahi hota hai.
05:49Yeh toh bahut short jump thi.
05:50Yeh short jump hai.
05:51Haan.
05:53Ek gate ko kera shuru hai.
05:54Haan ji.
05:57Azeeri sare praan
05:58long jump de maahiran ji.
05:59Aisa kyu hai?
06:00Sare expert hain ji.
06:01Kaise?
06:02Koi pahar ke chhapade.
06:05Huh bere tu dhodh ke aage
06:06jaa ras kar.
06:07Maame khaan ji
06:08hai yeh darriyaan shaklaan
06:09bhuyaan ke chhapade hona
06:10huh aap sharr lwaadi hai.
06:14Acha tumhar record kitna hai?
06:15Kitne meter tak
06:16jump laga sakte ho?
06:17I think he jumped 3.25 metres in the morning.
06:22What?
06:24We'll pray that the day he completes the metre..
06:27Yes.
06:28..he stops drinking alcohol.
06:34Sir, don't look at his jump.
06:36Really?
06:36I'll make a wish.
06:38If he doesn't reach the metre, I'll be in trouble.
06:42Come again, son.
06:43I'm not here to get it.
06:45No, this is your first jump.
06:48He's getting ready.
06:49I wish I could sell him.
06:52What?
06:52He's weighing 12 kilos today.
06:55Where are the other students?
06:56What are you doing?
06:57Okay, sir.
07:00Sir, he's not stopping.
07:04What is he doing?
07:06He's like a sprinter.
07:07Oh!
07:08He's not stopping.
07:09He's not stopping.
07:11He's the same.
07:16He's got a timer.
07:18He's not stopping.
07:19His timer is going off.
07:20It's not his fault.
07:21It's the situation.
07:25Sir, he's not stopping.
07:30I know, he's working hard.
07:32Greetings, Mr. Khaleel.
07:34He's a player.
07:35The boys are getting ready.
07:37Look at him.
07:37Wow.
07:38Look at him.
07:39He's getting ready.
07:39He's not ready even for Eid.
07:42Is the boy getting ready or the mountain?
07:45He's not ready.
07:46What?
07:46He's not the world champion.
07:48Take him out.
07:49He'll catch him.
07:51If he doesn't.
07:52Put your hands like this.
07:55Like this.
07:57Put your hands like this.
07:58Listen to me.
07:58Come forward.
08:00Come forward.
08:01Stand here.
08:02Put your arms like this.
08:04Arms.
08:05Hold him from the middle.
08:07Put your arms like this.
08:09Put your arms like this.
08:10Put them like this.
08:12Put them further back.
08:13No, that's enough.
08:15Enough.
08:17Mr. Ajay, I won't let you go.
08:20Throw him out.
08:21I will.
08:22Come on.
08:23Hey!
08:23Come here.
08:24Wow.
08:25Oh my God!
08:26He had gone to his aunt's place.
08:28But the man was singing.
08:30Where did he go?
08:31He went to sing.
08:36Hey.
08:37Welcome, sir.
08:38Let him eat the whole goat.
08:42How will you keep him?
08:44Do you know that all the bones in your waist
08:48can be destroyed by this style?
08:50That's why I'm wearing a belt.
08:52That's why I'm wearing a belt.
08:54I have a belt.
08:55That's fine. Why did you tie the letter?
09:03Uncle, do this.
09:07They say that Khalifa doesn't say anything.
09:10He just eats.
09:11He doesn't eat anything.
09:13Yes.
09:14He eats everything.
09:15Who turned on the lights?
09:18Mr. Anaru, he's a father.
09:19He doesn't listen to his son.
09:30Look at him.
09:32Hey!
09:33He's just a servant.
09:35What's wrong with him?
09:36He's just a servant.
09:40He's just a servant.
09:42Is it enough?
09:43Give me more.
09:43Cut the plate.
09:45Cut it.
09:47You're making him work for no reason.
09:50I'm tired.
09:53Brother, cut the plate.
09:56Cut this too.
09:59Cut this too.
09:59What's the use?
10:01You gave me one before.
10:02Brother, this is not right. Cut this too.
10:08And this too.
10:09Cut it.
10:12This is the way.
10:13Wow!
10:19What's wrong with him?
10:20He's making him work for no reason.
10:22This wasn't even a clean and jerk.
10:24Sir, he's not stopping us from doing our work.
10:30He's just like us.
10:31He's just like us.
10:32He's just like us.
10:36Look at him.
10:38God willing, you'll win.
10:39You're getting lucky.
10:42Thank God, I didn't get a new hair.
10:44You'll get a gold medal.
10:47You'll get a gold medal.
10:48You'll get a medicine.
10:50Yes.
10:51I'm making a medicine.
10:52Once you take it, you'll be free from the jungle.
10:55Then I don't want to die. Give me the medicine.
10:57Yes.
10:58He's stopped the whole village.
11:00He won't stop.
11:02What's your problem?
11:04He's a wrestler.
11:05Be a wrestler. You've created a bad atmosphere.
11:08He's pulling hard.
11:09He's pulling hard.
11:12He's pulling the cars.
11:13He'll get a medal.
11:14That's not done in Olympics.
11:16It's not done?
11:17But he'll do it.
11:18Okay.
11:22He's scaring us.
11:23He doesn't know anything.
11:25He's just making a medicine.
11:26I think all these kids are Khaan Baba.
11:30I swear.
11:31Don't I know Khaan Baba?
11:33What are you doing?
11:36Oh, my God.
11:38He's pulling the cars.
11:39Wow.
11:41This is not medicine.
11:42I don't know what game you're playing.
11:45Me?
11:46Yes.
11:46I'm a wrestler.
11:47This is a training.
11:50I'll hold it like this and spin it.
11:52You're making the weight rest on the chest.
11:54You're making it rest on the stomach.
12:00This is also a record.
12:02It takes two hours to sleep.
12:05I'm a teacher.
12:06I have to make the medicine rest on the chest.
12:09And what were you doing?
12:12I'm a sharpshooter.
12:13Yes.
12:14I'm a sharpshooter.
12:15He's a sharpshooter.
12:16Wait.
12:17Go.
12:19Do you want to go on a holiday?
12:23This is not a big deal.
12:25I'll hit you once.
12:27You'll hit me?
12:29Yes.
12:31I'll hit you.
12:33Hit me?
12:34Yes.
12:34Hit me?
12:35Yes.
12:38What is he doing?
12:41He's a good boy.
12:43Hit me.
12:45Hit me.
12:47I'm a good boy.
12:49Why are you looking at me?
12:51Hit me first.
12:56Hit me.
12:57Me?
12:58Yes.
13:00I'll hit you first.
13:01Oh.
13:03Who turned off the lights?
13:05The one who did it on my turn.
13:08Don't you feel ashamed?
13:10He attacks women.
13:11This is the condition of your trainers.
13:12What's the use of herbs?
13:14He hit me on my head.
13:16Your audience should watch this.
13:21Come on.
13:23Wow. He has done a long jump.
13:25It's not a long jump.
13:26There's a dog behind me.
13:28I'm here.
13:30I'm here.
13:32I'm here.
13:33I'm here.
13:34I'm here to buy tickets for the dog.
13:38I'm ruined.
13:41My brave wrestlers.
13:43You told me to capture them.
13:48Then you told me.
13:49What happened now?
13:51The cat has captured them.
13:52What did you say?
13:53He has captured them.
13:54Now tell me.
13:55Yes.
13:56What do you mean?
13:57Where were you?
13:58I had gone to buy tickets for the dog.
14:00How do you know that he has captured them?
14:02Where were you?
14:04I trusted you.
14:06My brave wrestlers.
14:08You told me that he is going to capture them.
14:11I didn't say anything.
14:12I told you.
14:13Yes.
14:14My brave wrestlers.
14:15I'm here.
14:16What's the use of that?
14:17He will come if you tell him.
14:19The cat has run away.
14:21Yes.
14:24He won't come back.
14:26He is scared.
14:27Call him again.
14:28Idiot.
14:29What's the use of calling him?
14:31He is your brother.
14:33I called him.
14:34Call your brother when you are in trouble.
14:37I'm in trouble.
14:40Stand here.
14:41Believe me.
14:42There are many problems.
14:43Don't call your brother.
14:44I'll tell you something.
14:46Why are you talking to me?
14:48I'm here to fight.
14:49You stand here.
14:50He is my brother.
14:51He will capture them.
14:53Call him.
14:53He is your brother.
14:55Hello.
14:56Hello.
14:57Yes.
14:57Where are you, cat?
15:00Where are you?
15:01Your uncle is calling you.
15:03Uncle, tell me.
15:04I heard that you have bought a new house.
15:07Yes, I have.
15:08Did you buy sweets?
15:10My son, are you eating?
15:12Yes, uncle.
15:13Sweets are good.
15:14Yes.
15:15Hey.
15:17Throw all these things away.
15:19Really?
15:19He is angry.
15:21He will beat you.
15:22He seems to be a dangerous man.
15:23Yes.
15:25Did you do the laundry?
15:26Yes.
15:26Did you do the laundry?
15:28His?
15:29No, his.
15:30No.
15:32I would have given you a parrot if I was a farmer.
15:34Okay.
15:36What did you do?
15:37You made him your brother.
15:39I didn't make him my brother.
15:42Forget it.
15:43Forget it?
15:44Yes.
15:46He is a strict man.
15:47He is strict.
15:48You shouldn't have done this.
15:49You should have supported the victim.
15:51He didn't support the victim.
15:53Didn't you forget?
15:54I'm so scared.
15:55I called you many times but you didn't pick up.
15:58Come on, pick up the phone.
16:00Yes, brother.
16:02He is so stupid.
16:05Okay.
16:06Okay.
16:06Let's go.
16:09Hello, uncle.
16:12Hello.
16:13Hello.
16:13What is this?
16:15You have become a cat.
16:16I told you to get sweets.
16:18Where are the sweets?
16:19Sweets are good, uncle.
16:22I'm coming from the shop.
16:25Tell me.
16:26Sweets are good but you don't show me your shoes.
16:29Talk to me, cat.
16:30Uncle, forget it.
16:32Talk to me openly.
16:33Talk to me openly.
16:36I said forget it.
16:37Talk to me openly.
16:39I said talk to me openly.
16:41You are acting smart again.
16:42I said talk to me openly.
16:44Talk to me, son.
16:47He is talking.
16:47He is talking.
16:48He understood.
16:49Okay, I'll talk to you openly.
16:52Son, you will save yourself.
16:55Talk to me, son.
16:56You have captured this woman's house.
17:01Uncle, don't talk to me openly.
17:03Talk to me openly.
17:04I will talk to you openly.
17:06Talk to me.
17:08Mother, let me go.
17:10Who are you messing with?
17:13He is such a big rascal.
17:16Mother, he is a big man.
17:17He doesn't have a heart.
17:19Look at this.
17:20Palwan, just a minute.
17:22Look.
17:23What happened, uncle?
17:25Nothing happened to him.
17:26Nothing happened to uncle.
17:28No one can strangle him.
17:31Yes.
17:31He has been strangled.
17:34No.
17:34He can't do anything.
17:36What happened?
17:37Nothing happened to him.
17:38Nothing happened to him.
17:40His stomach is hollow.
17:42It's steel.
17:43It's stone.
17:44Look.
17:46What happened?
17:47Nothing happened to him.
17:49Nothing happened to him.
17:50Yesterday, there were 5-6 boys, right?
17:53Yes.
17:546 boys beat him up.
17:55Yes.
17:56Believe me, no one touched him.
17:59No one beat him up.
18:00Nothing happened to him.
18:02Nothing happened to him.
18:05Oh, my God!
18:07Can you see?
18:08Oh, my God!
18:09Look, he doesn't even look like a human being.
18:17Tell me, are you going to leave the house?
18:20I will leave the house.
18:22Yes.
18:22I have been tied up for 10 years.
18:29Viewers, there is a small break.
18:31We will meet again at some other place.
18:32Beware! Beware!

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