Dick Emery Presents - Jack of Diamonds - episode 3 (1983)

  • 2 weeks ago
Exploring the Legacy of "Jack of Diamonds": A Tribute to Dick Emery's Television Mastery

The British television landscape of the early 1980s was graced with a comedic gem that has since become a nostalgic classic for many: "Jack of Diamonds." This series, which aired in 1983, showcased the versatile comedic talent of Dick Emery, a name synonymous with laughter and entertainment in the UK.

"Jack of Diamonds" followed the misadventures of Bernie Weinstock, a private detective portrayed by Emery, who, along with his partner Norman Lugg (played by Tony Selby), searched for a hoard of diamonds hidden since the Second World War. The show was a loose sequel to "Legacy of Murder" and featured Emery in various roles, a testament to his chameleonic ability to bring diverse characters to life with his unique brand of humour.

The series was broadcast several months after Emery's untimely death in January of the same year, adding a layer of poignancy to the show's history. Despite its brief run of six half-hour episodes, "Jack of Diamonds" left an indelible mark on the hearts of its viewers. It was a showcase not only of Emery's comedic genius but also of the collaborative spirit of the cast and crew who brought this story to the screen.

The narrative of "Jack of Diamonds" was a thrilling blend of comedy and mystery, with Emery's character often finding himself in hilariously precarious situations. The show's writing, credited to John and Steven Singer, delivered wit and suspense in equal measure, complemented by the musical compositions of Ronnie Hazlehurst and the costume designs of Pip Bryce.

Dick Emery's legacy in British comedy is vast, with "Jack of Diamonds" being a shining example of his enduring appeal. His ability to engage audiences with his multifaceted performances has cemented his place in the annals of television history. For those who remember the series, it evokes a sense of nostalgia for a time when comedy was not just about the laughs but also about the storytelling and the characters that stayed with viewers long after the credits rolled.

As we look back on "Jack of Diamonds," we are reminded of the rich tapestry of British television and the performers like Dick Emery who have left an everlasting impact. It is a series that deserves to be revisited, not only for its entertainment value but also for its cultural significance in the realm of British comedy.

"Jack of Diamonds" may have been a brief chapter in the vast book of British television, but it is one that continues to sparkle with the luster of diamonds, much like the treasure its characters sought. It stands as a tribute to Dick Emery, a performer who knew how to find the humor in every situation and who, even decades later, can still bring a smile to our faces.

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Fun
Transcript
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08:13MUSIC
08:18Well, that's it, I'm off to Kip.
08:22We need to make an early start if we're going to get the brighton.
08:25Yeah, me too.
08:26Let's hope that this George Billiard bloke
08:28remembers a bit more than that Colonel did.
08:30Please, God.
08:31Good night.
08:32Good night, Bert.
08:38Good night, mate.
08:39Good night, chap.
08:40excuse me sir are you the gentleman from room number five? that's correct yes. I've
08:45just put a hot water bottle in your bed. oh that's very kind of you. would you
08:50like an early morning call? seven o'clock please and pot of lemon tea
08:54toast and a copy of the Jewish Chronicle. we'll do our best sir. oh before you go I wonder if you'd
09:01mind turning down my bed. I'm not very good at that sort of thing. if that's
09:07what you'd like sir. mm-hmm did you know I'm a private detective? I'm working on a
09:13very important case. are you really sir? how interesting. I'd love to hear about
09:19that. you will love. sweet dreams. you dirty rotten basket.
09:31right Mr. Adams. let's start all over again shall we? now you were standing in this pub
09:41whose name you've forgotten in a place you can't remember when this stranger
09:46between five and six foot tall with mousy brown hair approached you and asked
09:51you if you wanted to buy a gruesome musical cassette. that's right. he said I
09:55look like a music lover. he got you taped all right. you get that Frisbee? cassette taped?
10:03yes sir I get it. good job they wear the old piece otherwise you'd gone down on your record.
10:10what about those 300 pairs of tights we came across in your wardrobe? they're
10:14nothing to do with me. I'm just looking after them for a maid of mine. I suppose
10:18you're going to try and tell us they were transvestites. now come along Mr.
10:25why don't you live up to your name and spill the beans because you're in the
10:28soup you know. I hope you don't think I've got a source asking but it's taken us a
10:33long time to catch up with you. get the blower Frisbee.
10:41Frisbee hang on love I'll call for you. Sheena Holmes in the blower for you sir.
10:48I wonder where she got to. hello Sheena. where are you? never heard of it.
10:55Worcestershire? what are you doing up there? I followed Weinstock and Lugg as you instructed
11:01sir and incidentally you're right. they're being tailed by someone else. I
11:05spotted Mickey Jordan hanging around the pub where they're staying. now that is
11:10interesting. I managed to engage Lugg in conversation during the course of the
11:13evening. it wasn't difficult mind you. he kept touching my knee and trying to get
11:18me out the bed. obviously fancied a copper warming pan. get it Sheena? copper?
11:26hilarious sir. did you learn anything else interesting from the conversation?
11:32but they did say that the case they're working on involves a seven-figure sum
11:37and has to do with something that's a girl's best friend. diamonds. diamonds are
11:44a girl's best friend. well done Sheena. any ideas there are future movements?
11:53Brighton? tomorrow? Ford Cortina license number double hang on hang on
12:00hang on a minute. license number S U D 5 5 8 G. good work Sheena.
12:10go on the Brighton CID first of the morning. ask them to watch out for that car and
12:15keep the occupants under oboe. right on sir. now let's start all over again shall
12:23we Mr. Ames? it's going to be a tall salon a lot. a long night. well with a bit of luck we
12:40should have been Brighton by lunchtime. I'll stop sulking Norm will you? just
12:46because I pulled a bird and you didn't. I could have done if it hadn't been for
12:49you. you even had the nerve to use my line of chat. I'm always willing to learn
12:53from a master. anyway I'm a bachelor you're a happily married man. happily
12:56married to her? the neighbors reckon I'm cohabiting with a donkey. remind me to
13:02stop and get some petrol will you Byrne? yes. while you're down there you better get
13:06some new tires as well. that's nice isn't it? fleshed. so is this one too. we better go
13:12down to the local garage I suppose. yes probably then that did it trying to bump
13:15up business. bang goes our early start. be lucky if we get there by tea time.
13:21one o'clock Thursday yes okay. now Malcolm I believe you have some
13:26merchandise you wish to show me. I have indeed mr. Blackburn. I think you'll be
13:30quite impressed. oh first-class Malcolm first-class. the dear Queen never looked
13:42so regal. if I hadn't had such a deprived upbringing I could have been a superb
13:46painter. deprived of your liberty you mean. probably true. after all you don't
13:51find many great artists in Boston or Wadsworth. I don't know. you should have seen
13:56some of the drawings on the walls of the toilets. anyway back to business. how much
14:00you want for these? to you mr. Blackburn five hundred pounds per thousand. sounds
14:05pretty reasonable Malcolm. just for a start I'll take two thousand. you'll be
14:13back for more mr. Blackburn I assure you. probably but it's always wise to do a
14:16little market sampling. ah sorry to interrupt.
14:21hello Malcolm. it's all right I was just going anyway. good day to you gentlemen.
14:29come and sit down. what a loss to the art world. so talented. pity he's been. yeah he'd
14:40probably have made a lot of money. that's exactly what he is doing old boy. I see
14:47what you mean if you put it that way. so what I've come to tell you mr. B is
14:52that Mickey Jordan give me a bell. hey well he went all the way up to Worcestershire
14:57following our mates and then he come all the way back down to Brighton which is
15:01where he rang from. did he manage to get any information? no no not a lot. but
15:06there was one thing though. he saw some mush sticking a knife into their car
15:10tires last night. so the younger generation must have their fun. Mickey says this was
15:16no yobbo. he reckons he's elderly geezer about your age. he's about 10 or 15 years
15:23older. a possible complication. you better keep me posted Reg and when you see
15:31Mickey Jordan tell him I'm pleased with him and give him that.
16:31that was a flaming nuisance. look at it. I thought you were a great bird lover.
16:35supporter of the wildlife fund. so I am. just because I like them doesn't give
16:39them permission to poop all over me. it's supposed to be lucky. lots of good
16:42fortune to you my friend. may you wind up wearing a white suit. beautiful vessels
16:48these aren't they? no they're not. they're symbols of the rich and privileged. toys
16:53playthings of the upper classes. it makes me sick. me too. especially when they
16:58weave up and down and roll from side to side. oh excuse me. we're looking for a yacht
17:04broker by the name of George Billiard. oh the commander you mean. that's him over
17:08there. tremendous type. XRN. had a hell of a war you know. a question occurs to me.
17:17how could a geezer who was a sergeant in the Royal Wessex Regiment end up as a
17:21commander in the Royal Navy? perhaps he was moonlighting.
17:29oh mr. Billiard. commander Billiard old boy. George Billiard? yes that's right.
17:36oh that is funny. we must have our lines crossed somewhere. you see we're looking
17:39for a George Billiard who was a sergeant in the 1st Battalion of the Royal
17:43Wessex Regiment. who are you? oh Carl. well what can I do for you?
17:49well Colonel Edgerton said you might like to have a chat with us. oh I see.
17:54we can't very well have a chat here can we? and Harry you ready to take her out?
17:59yes commander. now look gentlemen why don't you step aboard and we can take her out
18:04for a little spin and tell you what the devil all this is about. have a couple of
18:09drinks. nice indeed. you better nip along to the pub Norm. I'll join you later.
18:16what do you mean? why shouldn't I come with you? well I wouldn't want to
18:19compromise your high moral standards and have a joyride in a rich man's
18:23plaything. well I look at it this way. by tasting the pleasures of the upper
18:27classes I'm breaking new ground with a working man. pioneering as you might say.
18:30oh the real cure of the spirit eh?
18:34right gentlemen take a seat. now then pick gins all round. I'd rather have a whiskey. I can't stand gin.
18:54oh neither can I to tell you the truth. but I've had to drink the damn stuff for
18:58years to keep up this Navy front of mine. you see gentlemen I'm not really a naval
19:03commander at all. I've been sailing under force colors. only for business
19:08reasons you understand. you see gentlemen I sell boats and the people who buy them
19:13would rather do business with an ex-naval officer than an ex-army sergeant.
19:16that's perfectly understandable. business is business. after all you're not doing
19:21any harm. then you won't reveal my little secret. of course not commander. you know
19:28gentlemen I really do appreciate that. now listen why don't we drink up and go
19:32up on deck. we might as well benefit from a little sea air. why not?
19:36cheers. oh this is the life isn't it? if I won the pools I'd... what would you do
19:47Norm? I'd buy one of these. marvelous isn't it? one whiff of decadence and the
19:52red flag turns bright blue. Harry I'll take over now. yes sir. oh Harry will you go below and
19:59check that leaky tap in the galley. all right sir.
20:06now then gentlemen what's all this about? we're doing some research commander for a
20:10client of ours. a historian who's interested in the fight against Europe
20:14during the Second World War. particularly Holland 1944. long time ago.
20:20well according to a Colonel Edgerton who was then your platoon commander you were
20:25involved in some action in a small Dutch town where you were forced to
20:29retreat by superior enemy forces. happened lots of times. may help to jog your
20:34memory that one of your section commanders a corporal Carter was taken
20:37prisoner. Carter? oh yes I remember Carter. bright lad with the ladies he was. can
20:43you remember the name of the place where this happened? no it was really all too confusing.
20:47well you know what I mean. I expect you were in the services yourself. oh yes
20:50it was army catering corps. oh nice safe bit it. safe? highly perilous. one tasted the
20:57grub and I had no body to kill me as well. I'm sorry gentlemen I don't seem to be
21:02able to help you. oh well that's all right. flunk another drink. oh it's very nice of you.
21:06yes I'd love another drink. how about you Norm?
21:13I'd leave him out of this otherwise the fish will get stoned. mind taking the wheel for a minute
21:19while I just pop below. oh thank you very much I've never driven one of these. keep
21:22her steady as she goes. aye aye commander. you all right Norm?
21:32that's right I'd like to see you enjoying yourself.
21:49hang on Norm. I'm coming back for you. stay where you are.
21:55you damn fool. hang on Norm hang on. don't go under you still owe me a fiver.
22:21typical. you can't even drown with dignity. I must take full responsibility commander. no not
22:32to worry. I'm afraid you've had rather a wasted journey. oh that water was cold. yes well now
22:37you know what the risks have to put up with. not all cake's a nail. what did you tell him George?
22:44not a word Foxy but I'm very glad that you were the first to arrive or I might have said
22:50something I shouldn't have. had trouble with their car didn't they? Foxy are you sure that
22:57there are diamonds involved in all this? I overheard them talking and it all adds up. you
23:04remember Jack Carter stuffing something into his battle dress in that jeweler's shop don't you?
23:09I thought he was liberating a couple of watches. so did I until them two turned up. Foxy what are
23:19you going to do? well I think we get aboard one of your nice little boats take a trip across to
23:26Ormond and do a recce at Arlesdale. it's a good idea Foxy. we'll sail on the evening tide. oh
23:36you're back mr. Weinstock. wonderful powers of observation you've got love.
23:50oh my god. why are you wearing your little brother's suit mr. Lugg? we were at the seaside and he went for a paddle.
23:57how could that make all his clothes shrink? we were three miles out at sea at the time. you may think it's a great joke but I
24:04could have died you know. it's the story of my life so near and yet so far. well if it's any
24:09consolation mr. Lugg I always thought you were wet before you fell in. one of these days your
24:15tongue will get you in trouble young lady. oh looks as if somebody's got her in trouble already.
24:19don't be so disgusting mr. Weinstock. those are for my sister. got small feet don't she?
24:26Sharon get Ellen Carter on the phone for me will you? yes mr. Weinstock. what you reading Ollie?
24:36I'd like to see a man study. if we get a case involving professor Moriarty you'll be in charge.
24:45sorry mr. Weinstock we've been a bit quiet last few days. might come a time when we could dispense
24:50with your services. give it a rest Norm. hello oh hello hello this is Bernie Weinstock here. I
24:59was wondering if we could come round to your place tomorrow after lunch and have a little chat. right
25:05see you then. you better come as well Oliver. what are you staring at me for? it's your clothes
25:13mr. Lugg. they look rather strange. it's his tailor. he's gone metric and he hasn't got it right yet.
25:19so the situation is Ellen we're no further forward than when we started. no further forward. that's
25:29right. I mean the people we've interviewed so far I mean I can't remember a thing about it.
25:33can't remember a thing. so it seems we've come to a dead end. dead end my thoughts exactly. are
25:41you saying that we ought to give it up as hopeless? yes. no we wouldn't say that. not in so many words
25:46no. perhaps miss Carter you might have some apparently trivial piece of information which
25:51could give us a lead. this boy must be telepathic. I was going to say just the same thing. so was I.
25:56I don't think so. I went through my father's papers very carefully. unless... no. come on
26:03we're the professionals. let us be the judge. well there's a photograph of a young Dutch woman
26:09who seems to have been a close friend of daddy's during the war. that sound very significant. it
26:15could be. on the other hand you never know. to my darling dreck. 1944. there's an address on the
26:26back. 241 Einelstraat Amsterdam. if that lady's still alive she might know something of the
26:34circumstances surrounding mr. Carter's capture. once again the lad echoes my thoughts. it may be
26:39a long shot Ellen but a visit to Amsterdam might pay off. I hope you're prepared to pay the fares
26:44Bernie. no no no no we've got Dutch. shut up. I've just had a thought. I could borrow an aircraft from the club
26:55tomorrow and fly you over to Holland myself. oh that'd be great wouldn't it Norm. I prefer the
26:59pilot with a big mustache smoking a pipe and gold braid round his cap. oh well whatever turns you on.
27:04perhaps you'll pick me up about half past eight. yes I'll send my chauffeur. are you coming to our
27:09little meeting at the church hall tonight Bernie? what meeting was that? oh you mean the music lovers
27:15Appreciation Society? no I'm afraid not. no I mean if we're going to Amsterdam I've got a lot to do.
27:21come on lads. see you tomorrow love.
28:21Jack's back at the same time next Sunday coming up in 15 minutes or so
28:38and that's after an extra treat which is coming up next.

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