Exploring the Legacy of "Jack of Diamonds": A Tribute to Dick Emery's Television Mastery
The British television landscape of the early 1980s was graced with a comedic gem that has since become a nostalgic classic for many: "Jack of Diamonds." This series, which aired in 1983, showcased the versatile comedic talent of Dick Emery, a name synonymous with laughter and entertainment in the UK.
"Jack of Diamonds" followed the misadventures of Bernie Weinstock, a private detective portrayed by Emery, who, along with his partner Norman Lugg (played by Tony Selby), searched for a hoard of diamonds hidden since the Second World War. The show was a loose sequel to "Legacy of Murder" and featured Emery in various roles, a testament to his chameleonic ability to bring diverse characters to life with his unique brand of humour.
The series was broadcast several months after Emery's untimely death in January of the same year, adding a layer of poignancy to the show's history. Despite its brief run of six half-hour episodes, "Jack of Diamonds" left an indelible mark on the hearts of its viewers. It was a showcase not only of Emery's comedic genius but also of the collaborative spirit of the cast and crew who brought this story to the screen.
The narrative of "Jack of Diamonds" was a thrilling blend of comedy and mystery, with Emery's character often finding himself in hilariously precarious situations. The show's writing, credited to John and Steven Singer, delivered wit and suspense in equal measure, complemented by the musical compositions of Ronnie Hazlehurst and the costume designs of Pip Bryce.
Dick Emery's legacy in British comedy is vast, with "Jack of Diamonds" being a shining example of his enduring appeal. His ability to engage audiences with his multifaceted performances has cemented his place in the annals of television history. For those who remember the series, it evokes a sense of nostalgia for a time when comedy was not just about the laughs but also about the storytelling and the characters that stayed with viewers long after the credits rolled.
As we look back on "Jack of Diamonds," we are reminded of the rich tapestry of British television and the performers like Dick Emery who have left an everlasting impact. It is a series that deserves to be revisited, not only for its entertainment value but also for its cultural significance in the realm of British comedy.
"Jack of Diamonds" may have been a brief chapter in the vast book of British television, but it is one that continues to sparkle with the luster of diamonds, much like the treasure its characters sought. It stands as a tribute to Dick Emery, a performer who knew how to find the humor in every situation and who, even decades later, can still bring a smile to our faces.
The British television landscape of the early 1980s was graced with a comedic gem that has since become a nostalgic classic for many: "Jack of Diamonds." This series, which aired in 1983, showcased the versatile comedic talent of Dick Emery, a name synonymous with laughter and entertainment in the UK.
"Jack of Diamonds" followed the misadventures of Bernie Weinstock, a private detective portrayed by Emery, who, along with his partner Norman Lugg (played by Tony Selby), searched for a hoard of diamonds hidden since the Second World War. The show was a loose sequel to "Legacy of Murder" and featured Emery in various roles, a testament to his chameleonic ability to bring diverse characters to life with his unique brand of humour.
The series was broadcast several months after Emery's untimely death in January of the same year, adding a layer of poignancy to the show's history. Despite its brief run of six half-hour episodes, "Jack of Diamonds" left an indelible mark on the hearts of its viewers. It was a showcase not only of Emery's comedic genius but also of the collaborative spirit of the cast and crew who brought this story to the screen.
The narrative of "Jack of Diamonds" was a thrilling blend of comedy and mystery, with Emery's character often finding himself in hilariously precarious situations. The show's writing, credited to John and Steven Singer, delivered wit and suspense in equal measure, complemented by the musical compositions of Ronnie Hazlehurst and the costume designs of Pip Bryce.
Dick Emery's legacy in British comedy is vast, with "Jack of Diamonds" being a shining example of his enduring appeal. His ability to engage audiences with his multifaceted performances has cemented his place in the annals of television history. For those who remember the series, it evokes a sense of nostalgia for a time when comedy was not just about the laughs but also about the storytelling and the characters that stayed with viewers long after the credits rolled.
As we look back on "Jack of Diamonds," we are reminded of the rich tapestry of British television and the performers like Dick Emery who have left an everlasting impact. It is a series that deserves to be revisited, not only for its entertainment value but also for its cultural significance in the realm of British comedy.
"Jack of Diamonds" may have been a brief chapter in the vast book of British television, but it is one that continues to sparkle with the luster of diamonds, much like the treasure its characters sought. It stands as a tribute to Dick Emery, a performer who knew how to find the humor in every situation and who, even decades later, can still bring a smile to our faces.
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00:30Private detectives Bernie Weinstock and Norman Lug, together with their assistant Oliver Ottershaw, have become involved with Helen Carter.
00:39Her late father Jack wrote a wartime diary which revealed that he hid a large quantity of diamonds somewhere in Holland, just before being taken prisoner by the Germans.
00:49Unfortunately, the last page of the diary is almost unreadable, neither the Dutch town nor the hiding place being revealed.
00:56The only decipherable words are horn, corn and D-E-S-S.
01:01Bernie's car has been stolen by Mickey Jordan, a car thief working for gang leader Cyril Blackman.
01:07He listens to Helen's tape of the diary which was in the car and decides to have Bernie and Norman followed.
01:13Also interested in the case following the theft of Bernie's car and the raid on his office is Inspector Dearlove.
01:20After a failed kidnapping attempt on Helen, Cyril Blackman orders a second try which is thwarted by Oliver's prowess in the martial arts.
01:28The next morning Helen flies Bernie and Norman to Holland.
01:31Unbeknown to them, Billiard and Foxwell, ex-members of Jack Carter's platoon, are one jump ahead.
01:37The detectives make contact with Pete, the nephew of Carter's wartime girlfriend Greta.
01:42He offers to take them to his aunt's cafe, but their pleasant journey is spoilt when something unexpected falls into Bernie's lap.
02:13What's the matter with you, Norman?
02:15Every time you get into a boat you jump overboard and have a swim.
02:18What was that bang? There was a big bang.
02:20Somebody dropped a hand grenade into me hat and I chucked it in the canal.
02:23Good God, what for?
02:25Well, I didn't want to get my head blown off or anything else either.
02:29Why should anyone drop a grenade in your hat?
02:32I don't know, it's not a bad hat.
02:34Your honour's me.
02:36Why should anyone drop a grenade in your hat?
02:39I don't know, it's not a bad hat.
02:41Your honour's me.
02:43I'm afraid it's my fault. The grenade is meant for me, not you.
02:46Your honour's me must have dropped it. He's a friend of mine.
02:52Well, God help us if anybody takes a dislike to you.
02:55He thinks I'm having an affair with his wife, you see.
02:57And are you?
02:58Not that he's got his hat throwing grenades about.
03:00Oh, that's great, that is. He's having a bit on the side, I end up over the side.
03:04Blimmin' foreigners, they make you sick.
03:06Now, now, now, don't go overboard.
03:08Oh, you trying to be funny, I'll smack you straight in the mouth.
03:11What I mean is, don't go off to deep end.
03:13When you get to my aunt's place, she will take your clothes off and dry them for you.
03:17She won't get my clothes off. I am a very modest man.
03:20That's right, he is. And he's got a lot to be modest about, I tell you.
03:34This way, gentlemen.
03:40This is my aunt's establishment.
03:45Hello, Tante.
03:46Pete, what do you hear, dear?
03:48These two here are climbing out of the boat and asking for you.
03:51They're English.
03:52English adorables. They'll always be in England.
03:56So far, your word, I've never heard of them.
03:59English adorables. They'll always be in England.
04:03So far, your word, I wouldn't bet on next year, though.
04:06There'll be bluebirds over the white cliffs of Dover.
04:10All my life, I wanted to be a bow-boy.
04:14Good God, where did you learn that?
04:16A very handsome corporal in the Middlesex Regiment taught it to me.
04:20In return for a few things I taught him.
04:23You seem to have a special fancy for corporals.
04:26What do you mean?
04:27I gave this photo to one.
04:29A bloke called Jack Carter in the Royal Wessex Regiment.
04:32To my darling Jack, ever yours, Greta.
04:35I'm sorry to revive painful memories, reopen old wounds.
04:39I expect you can hardly bear to think of him.
04:41Think about him? I can't even remember him.
04:44He must be one of my darling boys, of course.
04:46One of them?
04:47What's ever safe rules, yes.
04:49Come, I show you.
04:52To my darling Bert, ever yours, Greta.
04:56To my darling Dennis,
04:58Mac, Chuck, Teff,
05:01Blimey, I'm Riley.
05:03Yes, I knew a lot of soldiers during the war.
05:05I was in the resistance.
05:07You didn't put up much by the look of it.
05:09That may be, but I did a lot for their morale.
05:12If not their morals.
05:14Well, they must have enjoyed my company.
05:16Look how many have come back to see me since the war.
05:19Excuse me, is there any chance of me nipping upstairs
05:22and getting my clothes off?
05:24Have patience, darling.
05:26You British are so hot-blooded.
05:28No, no, no, no.
05:30What he means is he fell in the canal
05:32and his clobber's topping wet.
05:34Of course.
05:35Pete, take him upstairs and find a few dry things.
05:38Thank you very much.
05:39This way, please.
05:42Now, darling, would you like a drink?
05:44Oh, that's very kind.
05:45I'll have a beer.
05:47By the way, I ought to introduce myself.
05:49My name's Bernie Weinstock.
05:51I'm a private detective.
05:53And you were Detective Vance.
05:55We were very good friends.
05:57I just couldn't hide anything from him.
06:00He put his finger on all my little secrets.
06:03You have a gift for that sort of thing.
06:05And very enchanting it is, too.
06:08I only hope you will be investigating me.
06:13I only hope you will be investigating me, sirly.
06:19Yes, well, I did want to ask you a question.
06:22And the answer is yes, darling.
06:25From the moment I saw you, I knew we were going to be very close.
06:29Oh, yes, me too.
06:31But you know what they say, business before pleasure.
06:34Now, about this question.
06:35Yes?
06:36Jack Carter was arrested by the Germans in 1944.
06:40Can you tell me whereabouts in Holland this took place?
06:44No.
06:45Oh.
06:46But maybe I will be able to find it in my diary.
06:51You need a fair-sized diary to keep track of all your boyfriends, eh?
06:55Don't be silly, darling. This is from A to K.
07:00Let me see.
07:02Carter.
07:04Brian, David, Freddie, George.
07:07Oh, he was a delicious brigadier.
07:09Ian.
07:10Ah, here we are. Jack.
07:12Royal Essex Regiment.
07:14That's right, yeah. That's him.
07:16Page 105.
07:19Seems that the last time I heard from him was in October 1944.
07:24Yeah, that's correct, yeah.
07:25His unit was then in the region of a small town called Havdorp.
07:31How do you know that?
07:32I told you. I was in the underground.
07:35I was familiar with the movement of Allied troops in Morvay, someone.
07:39You reckon that was the place, then?
07:41It's possible.
07:42How far is it?
07:43Havdorp, or about an hour's drive from here.
07:46Oh, pity. We haven't got a car.
07:49You're welcome to borrow mine, darling.
07:51Are you sure?
07:52Of course.
07:53Well, that's very, very kind of you.
07:55Always happy to oblige a gentleman.
07:57Besides, you may be able to do a little something for me in return.
08:06Yes, well, er...
08:15That's it. Go on, laugh. What's so funny?
08:18It isn't my old Dutch.
08:20Are you looking for a duck to stick your finger in?
08:22Oh, pity.
08:24Those clothes belong to one of my husbands.
08:26You look just like him, you know.
08:28Oh, yeah.
08:29While you were upstairs, Norm, I was having a chat to greet here.
08:32She gave me some very useful information.
08:35Not only that, she offered to lend us her car.
08:37That's nice of her.
08:39Always keen to show his gratitude, is our Norm.
08:42I'm sure he'd like to express our combined appreciation.
08:45Know what I mean?
08:46Would he?
08:47Wouldn't you, Norm?
08:48Do what?
08:49There you are, see? Keen as mustard.
08:51Pete, look after the bar for a few minutes, will you, please?
08:56OK.
08:58Well, I think I'll have a breath of fresh air.
09:01Take a stroll along the canal.
09:02Hang about, I'll come with you.
09:04Well, in that costume, you must be joking.
09:06Oh, yeah. I'd forgotten.
09:09Never mind.
09:10Peter will keep you amused.
09:19Now, darling, I'm sure you want to get out of those silly clothes.
09:22So let us go upstairs and find out if you're on the drive.
09:25No, they won't be, not yet.
09:26Oh, come on, let us find out.
09:27Yeah, well, I know they won't. I'm certain of it.
09:30Hello again.
09:39Oh, dear.
09:40I'd love to have seen their faces when that grenade dropped in their boat.
09:46I don't suppose they were thrilled to bits?
09:48No.
09:50More like blown to bits.
09:53There'll be blue birds in the wind cliffs...
10:01Right, stop the car and get out.
10:11I should never have allowed you to stop and buy that booze.
10:13You're as bad as the old colonel.
10:14We cannot afford to get into trouble with the Dutch police.
10:17Oh, don't be so po-faced.
10:20It was bloody funny, though, you must admit.
10:26Yes, it was, wasn't it?
10:29Do you remember? It dropped right between his knees.
10:33Neat as you please.
10:34You could say it was a bomb supreme.
10:43Well, well, well.
10:45Look at that, Foxy.
10:47We're nearly there.
10:49Now we'll find out whether this little trip has been worth our while.
10:56You lumber me, Bernie.
10:57I'll kill you when I get my stroke back.
11:00Oh, don't complain, Horman.
11:06Rita lent us her card absolutely no cost whatsoever.
11:09No cost to you, maybe, but I'm exhausted.
11:13My mum?
11:14Oh, no, she's not coming after me, you see.
11:16You've had a good yourself to blame, haven't you?
11:18I mean, you led her on.
11:20Anyway, your clothes are nice and dry.
11:22Dry? They're on the verge of bursting into flames.
11:26Goodbye, my darling. Come back soon.
11:32I've marked the way to Haasdorp.
11:34Go through the centre of Amsterdam and follow the signs.
11:36You can't go wrong.
11:37Thanks for all your help, Pete.
11:39A pleasure.
11:40And as for you, you lucky dog, you've made a great hit with my auntie.
11:44Perhaps one day soon I shall be calling you Uncle.
11:49See you in a couple of days, Pete.
12:07Well?
12:08Nothing definite. Not yet, anyway.
12:11I don't recognise nothing yet.
12:13Yeah, nor me.
12:15Wait a minute.
12:17Look, this place here.
12:20Now, there was a Jerry Sniper up on that roof.
12:22He let one off with the CO and you got him right between the eyes.
12:26Yeah, that's right.
12:28He come down like a pheasant.
12:30Splosh on the pavement.
12:32We're getting warm, Foxy.
12:33Now, this street must lead to the square.
12:35So that old jeweller's shop has got to be here somewhere abouts.
12:38Come on, follow me.
12:40Right.
12:46Look.
12:47This part's all new. It's been rebuilt.
12:50Well, you can't expect them to have left it like it was in 1944, can you?
12:54That was the kibosh on it then. We've had it.
12:57No, not necessarily.
12:59Hang on a minute, Foxy.
13:01Ah, lousy waste of time, if you ask me.
13:11Don't apologise, will you?
13:14You never know, I could be your father.
13:19Foxy, we are in the right place.
13:21There was a jeweller's shop three doors down from here.
13:24Now, cast your mind back.
13:27You, me and the CO were outside the jewellers.
13:30Carter was inside.
13:31Now, Lieutenant Edgerton, shout it to him.
13:34Come on, Carter, we're pulling out.
13:35We're pulling out.
13:39Now, we came running out this way,
13:41but Carter ran out of the shop and went towards the square.
13:50Foxy, I have got an idea.
13:53Yeah? What is it?
13:55George, tell me.
13:57It could be the answer.
13:59What could?
14:02Do you know, Foxy, there's something missing.
14:03There is definitely something missing.
14:06Come with me a minute.
14:12Oh, yes, Titian's always been one of my favourite artists.
14:15He studied under the Bellinis, you know.
14:17Although, of course, he was very heavily influenced by Giorgione.
14:20You've only got to look at his back as an Ariadne to see that.
14:23You never cease to amaze me, Oliver.
14:25How do you know so much about art?
14:27I studied in Italy under Ugo de Falco.
14:29I don't know.
14:31What with martial arts, cookery and painting,
14:33you must be a damn sight older than you look.
14:37I say, I do hope I'm not boring you, Miss Carter.
14:39Of course not, Oliver.
14:41I must say, I don't really think I need a full-time bodyguard,
14:44but I'm thoroughly enjoying it all the same.
14:46Well, Mr. Weinstock's instructions were quite specific.
14:49I'm not to let you out of my sight.
14:52During the day, that is.
14:54I'm not complaining.
14:55I'll just relax and soak up the culture.
14:57I thought we might do the V&A tomorrow.
14:59Oh, that'd be fun. I haven't been there for years.
15:02Ah, come and have a look at this one.
15:04It's by Poussin.
15:06French classical school.
15:07The poise of the composition is quite superb.
15:09There's echo and narcissus in the foreground, you see.
15:11Oh, and that's Ajax over there.
15:13Oh, and there's flora, sprinkling flowers.
15:17Now, quite who that's supposed to be holding the cornucopia,
15:19I'm not quite sure, but I think it's...
15:22Cornucopia?
15:24Cornucopia.
15:27Good Lord, what is it all?
15:29Well, something's distracted me.
15:45Oh, let's face it.
15:47Always was a long shot, the real outside chance.
15:51My fault, you know. I should never have talked you into it.
15:53Don't blame yourself, Bernie.
15:55It was a sort of glamorous idea.
15:57A fortune in diamonds, mysteriously hidden.
16:00Even I got caught up in it,
16:02and you know how dull and unimaginative I am.
16:04Yeah, yeah.
16:06What?
16:07No, no, no, no. I mean, you're not.
16:09No, you're... you're cautious and sensible.
16:13Do you know, we've been walking about this Arles door
16:15a dozen times, and what have we detected?
16:17Nothing.
16:18So what do you think we should do?
16:20There's only one thing left to do.
16:21Get on the blower to Oliver,
16:22and get him to get Ellen to fly out here and take us out of it.
16:26There's a phone box over here.
16:35And when I came round, Miss Carter had disappeared,
16:37and that note was in my pocket.
16:40You can have the lady's life in exchange for the Dutch diamonds.
16:44Instructions will follow.
16:47Doesn't really tell us much, does it, does he?
16:49No, sir, not a lot.
16:50Especially as it's unsigned.
16:53Good God, I never even noticed that.
16:56There's a dirty trick.
16:58This fellow's even more devious than I thought he was.
17:01Now we don't know who to look for.
17:03Fancy him not signing his name, sir.
17:05In a way, I was under the impression
17:07that you were some kind of expert in salt events.
17:10I was hid from behind.
17:12Not the sort of thing you expect in an art gallery.
17:14I mean, most people are there for the culture.
17:16Oh, must have been a bunch of teared-away farmers.
17:19Why do you say that, sir?
17:21They were obviously there for the agro-culture.
17:25Look here, this is all very well,
17:26but what are you going to do about Miss Carter?
17:28I mean, she has been kidnapped.
17:30Then we shall have her unkidnapped.
17:32We shall find out who her abductors are
17:34and lean on them with the full majesty of the law,
17:36Mr. Ottershaw.
17:38Just a pity that Mr. Weinstock didn't see fit
17:40to confide in us a little earlier.
17:42Anyway, as Omar Sharif said,
17:45when the river Tiber overflowed its banks
17:47and poured through his front room
17:48where he was engaged in a game of cards
17:50with three of his mates,
17:51that's water under the bridge.
17:57Do you reckon our next move should be, sir?
17:59Pick up Mickey Jordan.
18:00Who's Mickey Jordan?
18:01He's the crummy little toe-rag
18:03who's been taking more than an unusual interest
18:05in your governor lately.
18:06We find out who he's working for,
18:08we might get a lead.
18:10Anyway, we'll keep in touch, sir.
18:11Good day.
18:12Come on, Frisbee.
18:15Yes, Sharon?
18:17Oh, thank goodness for that.
18:18Put him through straight away, will you?
18:20Hello?
18:22Hello, Oliver?
18:23I'm so pleased to hear from you, sir.
18:25Oh, can't think why.
18:27Our news is lousy.
18:29What do you mean yours is terrible, too?
18:33Oh, my God.
18:35What's the matter? What's happened?
18:36Helen, she's been grabbed again.
18:38This time she didn't get away.
18:40Oliver, have you, have you rang the police?
18:44Oh, that Inspector Deardove's working on it.
18:46Whoever took her left a ransom note
18:49saying that they'd only release her
18:50in exchange for the Dutch diamonds.
18:52Oh, that's a real killer punch, that is,
18:55because we're ringing up to say
18:56that although we've discovered the town
18:58where Carter was taken prisoner,
19:00a place called Arsdorp,
19:01we haven't got the faintest idea
19:03where to look for the stones.
19:04Now, I may be able to help you there.
19:06You remember the only three decipherable words
19:08on the last page of the diary?
19:10Oh, corn, horn and death, you mean?
19:12Yes, that's right, that's right.
19:13Now, tell me, is there a statue of some kind
19:15in the main square at Arsdorp?
19:17Well, I suppose it's possible.
19:18Shouldn't be hard to find out.
19:20Here, go and ask one of the locals
19:22if there used to be a,
19:23a statue in the town square area.
19:25A statue?
19:26Yeah, go on, just do it, go on.
19:28Right, carry on, Oliver.
19:31Excuse me.
19:32Yeah?
19:33I don't suppose you speak English, do you?
19:35Yes, I do.
19:36Oh, good, that's a bit of luck.
19:38Could you tell me,
19:39was there ever some kind of statue in this square?
19:42Yes, there was.
19:44But it was removed long ago, during the war.
19:46What sort of thing was it?
19:48Sort of goddess.
19:50Greek, I think.
19:51Standing on a fountain.
19:53Who took it away, then?
19:54General von Klaus.
19:56That German commander.
19:58He took it with him when his troops withdrew.
20:00He was very fond of looting statues, painting and such.
20:04They say his castle in Bavaria
20:06is absolutely full of our treasures.
20:09Where in Bavaria would that be, then?
20:12Munich, I believe.
20:13Thank you very much.
20:14You've been very helpful.
20:15It's a pleasure,
20:16but why the sudden interest in a statue?
20:19Two of your competitors
20:20have been asking similar questions not so long ago.
20:22Two Englishmen?
20:23Yeah.
20:24Well, that's strange, isn't it?
20:25Oh, well, you know what they say about us English.
20:28We're all a bit eccentric.
20:29It's too much of the midday sun.
20:31Cheerio.
20:35Well?
20:36There is a statue, yeah.
20:37A Greek goddess?
20:38How did you know?
20:39Ollie, you're a proper little genius.
20:41I'll ring her up when we've got some more news.
20:43Yeah, ta-ta, mate.
20:46Well, what was all that about?
20:48Well, Oliver's come up with an ingenious theory.
20:50He reckons it's something to do with the cornucopia.
20:53To what?
20:54Oh, I didn't know either.
20:55But it's the horn of plenty.
20:57It's a large goat horn
20:58full of flowers and fruit and corn,
21:01and in paintings and statues
21:03it seems to be carried by a goddess, see?
21:05So there you have the word horn
21:07and des, the last word in goddess.
21:10Yeah, Bernie, I know I'm not very bright,
21:12but what has all that got to do with the diamonds?
21:14Well, according to Oliver,
21:16Carter came rushing out of the jewellery shop into the square
21:18and realised he was going to be taken prisoner.
21:21So he stuck the diamonds in the first available ironing place,
21:24the horn of plenty.
21:26Ah, well, that seems possible, doesn't it?
21:28Yeah, trouble is, we don't know where the statue is now.
21:30I think I've got a good idea where it is.
21:33I think it's in a castle in Bavaria,
21:35somewhere near Munich,
21:36owned by the General von Klaus.
21:38Well, that's what the old gardener told me.
21:40Norman, I'm impressed.
21:42Yeah, another thing the old boy told me,
21:44there were two other Englishmen asking the very same questions.
21:47Now, that don't seem possible.
21:49Oh, I don't know, though.
21:50Maybe that grenade was meant for us after all.
21:52That's a nasty thought.
21:53Yeah.
21:54Yeah.
21:55We'd better get to that castle quick.
21:56Yes.
21:57Which way is it to Munich?
21:58Well, follow all the signs to Germany and then ask.
22:08Oh, God.
22:26Wake up, Bernie. Come on.
22:30Oh, God, I'm tired.
22:32So am I.
22:33You expect to be when you drive the best part of 500 miles overnight.
22:37You didn't. I drove the best part.
22:39I've always needed my kip since I was a kid.
22:41What did we stop at here for, anyway?
22:43Well, I followed those directions that that policeman gave us in Munich,
22:46and I reckon we're within half a mile of the castle.
22:48But we haven't decided what we're going to do when we get there yet.
22:51True, true.
22:53We can hardly go bowling up to the General and ask him
22:55if we can have a grope round his goddess
22:57just because we think she's been stuffed full of diamonds, can we?
23:00It wouldn't seem very sensible on the face of it, no.
23:02Well, we'll have a recce first and then we'll make a plan.
23:05Right.
23:07Come on.
23:16There it is.
23:19Blimey, that's a size, isn't it?
23:20Yeah.
23:21Well, let's cut through those woods
23:23and see if we can get to it from this direction, all right?
23:25Right.
23:34Blimey, look at this knoll.
23:35Yeah.
23:36I bet this fence goes all round the castle grounds.
23:38Yeah.
23:39What do you think that sign says?
23:40Well, at the rough guess, trespassers will be electrocuted.
23:43I don't think the General's too keen on the idea
23:46of people dropping in for a cup of tea.
23:48I wonder if there's any way we can get over the top of this,
23:50or even underneath it.
23:56Don't shoot, don't shoot!
23:58So, two more Englanders.
24:01Looking for your friends, no doubt.
24:04Move.
24:35Oh, fool, tried to escape before I could question him.
24:39What have you brought me here?
24:42Two Englishmen, Herr General.
24:43We caught them trying to break through the fence.
24:45Part of the same gang of art thieves, I've no doubt.
24:48Look what happened to your accomplice.
24:50You're wrong, believe me.
24:52It's nothing to do with us.
24:53We don't know him.
24:54No?
25:00It's Foxhall.
25:02So, you do know him.
25:05Bring them inside.
25:06To be feeling, General.
25:17And there's more at the same time next Sunday.
25:19Still to come, Poirot had won this afternoon,
25:21and van der Volk had too.
25:23Stay with us, you're on Plus.
26:01APPLAUSE