When they disrespect you || Acharya Prashant, with IIT-Hyderabad (2022)

Acharya Prashant

‍♂️ Want to meet Acharya Prashant? Be a part of the Live Sessions: https://acharyaprashant.org/hi/enquir...   Want to read Acharya Prashant's Books? Get Free Delivery: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/books?...  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~  Video Information: 26.04.2022, Interview Session, Rishikesh, Uttrakhand  Context: ~ What is the ultimate advice for the right partner?  ~ How to choose the right partner for marriage?  ~ How to be committed in a relationship?  ~ How to have a deep and spiritual relationship?  ~ Is marriage good or bad?  ~ What about sex before marriage?   Music Credits: Milind Date ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Transcript

00:00Acharyaji, thank you for giving us your time.

00:06So I believe respect is a two-way street and I feel sometimes even though I am polite,

00:12some people are disrespectful.

00:14So how do I handle this?

00:18You see, if those people do not have the sense to respect something worthy of respect, then

00:34the behavior of such persons is not worthy of being given too much importance.

00:44I have someone in front of me who does not have the sense to know right and wrong.

00:52I have someone in front of me who does not know what to respect and what to let's say

00:59ignore.

01:02How much importance can I give to such a person?

01:07No importance.

01:08Now if I give him no importance, how much importance can I give to the fact that he

01:13does not respect me?

01:17No importance.

01:19So the emphasis must not be on whether or not that person respects me.

01:24The emphasis must be on whether I am respecting the respectable thing within me.

01:34He may respect me, disrespect me, all that is secondary.

01:39The first thing is I am two.

01:43We talked of that right?

01:45All human beings are actually two units within.

01:48There is something very respectable within us and there is something entirely despicable

01:53within us.

01:56Am I respecting the respectable or have I accorded a very high position to the thing

02:05within me that merits little respect?

02:09If I respect the respectable thing within me, then what is the need to really bother

02:20whether the world is respecting me?

02:25I know what is respectable and I am honest enough to live my life in veneration of the

02:38real thing.

02:39That real thing is called the true self, the Atma.

02:42I am respecting it and after that, if she does not offer me respect, then she is a fool.

02:49At most I can have some compassion for her.

02:54But for sure, I will not allow her to hurt me.

02:59She has no faculty of judgment.

03:06I may decide to reach out and help her out of compassion, that is one thing.

03:10But I cannot say, oh this fellow did not respect me and I am feeling so betrayed.

03:16You might be a wonderful person and you are walking and a monkey comes and takes away

03:28the stuff in your hand.

03:29Let's say something, you have an apple in your hand and the monkey comes and snatches

03:33the apple and also slaps you on your shoulder.

03:39Will you feel hurt?

03:41The monkey has done what monkeys do.

03:48So fine, the monkey is helpless.

04:00Thank you Acharya ji.

04:01Could I ask another question please?

04:04So, is it okay to seek recognition in the work we do, I mean whether it is cooking at

04:10home or handling an office task and when we put all our heart and soul in it, but we don't

04:17even get a small pat on the back or some kind of acknowledgement.

04:23I understand seeking validation all the time is not proper, it doesn't work.

04:28But how to cope up with this kind of work?

04:32See the primary love has to be towards the work, not towards the recognition you get

04:38from the work.

04:40Now if recognition is important to take the work forward, then in that case one must go

04:52after recognition.

04:57If I am working, then I am working for the sake of the work, not for the sake of the

05:02things that follow from the work.

05:09And if you are working obviously there are a few things that follow.

05:14One gets money, one gets knowledge, one gets experience, one gets recognition.

05:21These things happen and these things have to be kept as secondary.

05:30The primary relationship has to be with the work itself.

05:35Do I love my work?

05:36Is my work worth doing?

05:40Am I working for the right cause?

05:44And then it sometimes happens in many kinds of activities, depending on the nature of

05:51the work, that recognition itself is a part of the work.

06:01If you do not get recognized, sometimes it may so happen that the work may start getting

06:07hindered.

06:10In that condition seeking recognition is not a problem because now you are not seeking

06:16recognition as a separate entity.

06:20You are seeking recognition so as to offer that recognition to the work itself.

06:27You are seeking recognition as a resource to be used towards the work itself.

06:33Now it is fine.

06:36Otherwise you see, the urge to be recognized or felicitated or be known, think about it,

06:49might tell of some kind of dissatisfaction with the work itself.

07:00My point is, choose the work so rightly and be immersed in it so deeply that recognition

07:10and other things that you get from work stop mattering or matter as little as possible.

07:22Then if recognition comes, let it be like a surprise, recognizing me for what?

07:32You are calling me great for what?

07:34I am just doing what I love to do.

07:37Maybe that is greatness, fine.

07:39If that is greatness, then I will accept the respect and the garlands and the stage, whatever

07:47you are offering me.

07:50But I will still maintain that I did not work to be garlanded.

08:03It is great to work and not be garlanded.

08:12And it's very scary if you are garlanded and you do not know where is the work that

08:23led to all this.

08:26Unfortunately, that's the thing so many people dream of, to be recognized, to become famous

08:38without having an intimate relationship with the work they are doing.

08:44So they want to do as little as possible and be recognized as much as possible.

08:53We obviously are to avoid that.

09:01It is something that gets very little attention, very little attention.

09:06We take work as a means towards something else, we want to run a family, we want to

09:11have a career and towards that end we say we are working.

09:18I would like to put it very strongly here that your relationship with your work is your

09:26foremost relationship in life.

09:31That's the one deep love affair each of us needs to have, love towards work.

09:40And if that intimate relationship we do not have, then life becomes very tedious.

09:49Unfortunately, our culture, our values, our education do not put enough emphasis on loving

10:00the work, on letting work come as an expression of our love for heights, our love for purity.

10:15Because I want to be higher, because I want to be better, because I want to see the world

10:19getting better around me, hence I choose my work accordingly.

10:25That's the way the choice has to be made.

10:29But that's not the way we see career choices being made on campuses, being made in HR interviews.

10:40That's not the way it is happening and that partly explains why as a society we are what

10:47we are.

10:48Sometimes, Acharyaji, leave alone acknowledgement or recognition, in fact, sometimes people

11:02criticize also.

11:04That time, however passionate we will be towards the work per se, it's a little demotivating.

11:12So you see, there is something called noise and that's there in every system.

11:31Now there is something called objective noise and subjective noise.

11:36Objective noise is when there is something in the object you are attending to.

11:45Subjective noise is when you choose to concentrate on the noise rather than the music.

11:55Objective noise you will always have very little control over.

12:02Objective noise is within your control.

12:05Are you getting it?

12:09You know, around 10 years back, it was with a very basic kind of phone camera that my

12:21sessions were recorded and there was no separate audio equipment with which to record the sound.

12:32Those primitive kinds of phones, they would record both the video and the audio and they

12:38were then put on social media, particularly YouTube.

12:44The channel started in 2011.

12:48In 2015, I had my first visitor from abroad.

12:55So he came specifically to India to meet me and one of the first things I asked him was

13:02but the videos have so much noise and there used to be a blog and the blog would be transcript

13:11of the videos and I would say the transcripts are so imperfect.

13:16They have been done by volunteers, mostly by student volunteers, so they contain too

13:20many impurities.

13:22So I asked him, the videos have so much noise, nothing is technically correct about those

13:28videos and the blog, the literature that you see, that too is full of mistakes.

13:37You still could make sense of that and even like that?

13:43You know what he said?

13:44He said, I didn't even notice that.

13:49I didn't even notice that.

13:53I'm not here to notice the noise.

13:55I'm listening to your voice.

14:01And then we have people, now I suppose our setup is relatively advanced, still sometimes

14:07some noise is there and then people would come and comment, oh, there is so much noise,

14:12there is so much noise.

14:14I admit, yes, of course there is noise, but why did you have to focus on the noise?

14:21That's my question to you.

14:22Why do you have to focus on the noise?

14:26There is another voice, let that be meaningful to you.

14:35Let go of the noise, let go of the noise.

14:38I'm not saying you can totally ignore it, it will be there, it's a nuisance, but the

14:46deeper is your love towards the real thing, the easier it will be for you to ignore the

14:51miscellaneous things.

14:57And if still you find that you cannot fully ignore, tolerate it.

15:05Never forget the human condition.

15:06We are not here to quickly enjoy stuff.

15:11We are born in suffering.

15:14Therefore, if a degree of noise still remains, willingly suffer.

15:23Suffer in understanding.

15:25Know that this much has to be tolerated.

15:28It is an imperative related to the human condition.

15:32No point complaining.

15:39God bless.

15:40Thank you so much.

15:44God bless.

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16:12God bless.

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