Partner left. How to deal with the void? || Acharya Prashant, at DTU (2023)

Acharya Prashant

‍♂️ Want to meet Acharya Prashant? Be a part of the Live Sessions: https://acharyaprashant.org/hi/enquir...   Want to read Acharya Prashant's Books? Get Free Delivery: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/books?... ➖➖➖➖➖➖  Video Information:  23.12.22, DTU, Delhi  Context:  ~ What is the right way to deal with the void? ~ How to not be hurt? ~ What to do when loved ones leave? ~ How to overcome a heartbreak? ~ How to move on in life? ~ How to not be lonely? ~ What is the right thing to do?  ~ Why do we get attracted to the same person?  ~ What happened to your high school sweetheart?  ~ How to not be attached?  Music Credits: Milind Date  ~~~~~

Transcript

00:00Pranam Acharya ji, I want to ask you a question that I am feeling a void within myself from

00:09last four years, can say that a void created within me because of a person whom I love,

00:18but in the beginning as it created a time period of four years, so in the beginning

00:23I have tried the traditional method to fill that void, but I have failed miraculously,

00:30but I came to know about you in 2021, so as I started listening to you, I have thinking

00:37that I have to choose a right path, I have to choose a higher goal to be engaged with

00:44and to fill that void that is inside me, so for that I have developed so many things within

00:52me like I have started writing poems, I have been playing cricket and so many other things,

00:58I am pursuing my graduation from DU and also preparing for UPSC, I have no such time left

01:04for me to think about me what I am actually doing with my life, but at the very moment

01:11when I finish or accomplish the thing or the goal that I have accomplished right now, I

01:18am left with the same void, the void is always the same of always the same person that never

01:25changes, so I want to ask you that what is the right way to deal with that void and what

01:35is the right way to cope myself with that void or I have to live with that void, because

01:41I have searched for that question with so many people, like from last 6 months that

01:48void is now converting into the suffering and pain in the form of tears that set from

01:53my eyes and so for that I don't want to be in that phase, I really don't want to be in

02:00that phase, I want the way to deal with that, that how can I get something better and something

02:07right to do with myself to be out of that.

02:10A love affair, a girl?

02:15That doesn't occur, she denied at the very first moment, then I have never asked her,

02:22we are rare in contacts at moment within months or from 2 or 3 months we talk to her in the

02:30chats and nothing else, we met for the last time when our board exams were over, it was

02:37past 3 years and I have not seen her from that time.

02:44It's for this person that you have this craving?

02:46Yeah, yeah, same for the same person.

02:50See you don't get attracted to just everybody, some practical facts first, you get attracted

03:03to someone who is almost at the same level of consciousness as you are, we all have a

03:19particular mental range, the one you feel attracted towards has to lie within that range,

03:29if that fellow is far below your station, you will not feel attracted, if that fellow

03:37is far above your station, you will again not feel attracted, do you see this?

03:48You might for example, just desire a Hollywood actress or Miss Universe or somebody, but

04:07you would not even think of having that person as your life partner, your wife, as your love

04:14affair, right?

04:17Why because that person in your own estimate is far above your range of partnership, do

04:25you see this?

04:28Do you see when you are envious, you are usually envious of those who lie within your range,

04:37if someone is far superior to you, you don't even feel envious, do you see this?

04:45So, there is a particular person and the person has probably offered you rejection or has

04:54not been warm enough, what do you do?

04:59Raise yourself, as long as that person is within your range of acceptability, you will

05:08keep cultivating the hope that one day you will have that person for yourself, you will

05:15not be able to get rid of that hope, the purpose of life is elevation of consciousness, the

05:22person that you are within has to improve and has to improve so much that the person

05:31you today pine for, simply drops below your range, you start saying you know, I just don't

05:43feel any attraction and this that I am saying is not at all disrespectful towards the other

05:52person, because I am not talking of pulling the other one down, I am talking of raising

06:00yourself up and if the other person is her own well-wisher, I would advise her as well,

06:08you raise yourself up fine, but because that person has not come to me to seek advice,

06:14so I only have you to speak to and to you I say raise your game, raise your game and

06:20exceed the one you were desirous of, please understand this, the ones you like at one

06:34level of maturity in life are just not the ones you will like at another level of maturity

06:42in life and that's an auspicious sign, that simply means that you are outgrowing the world,

06:54at age 18 you were prepared to die for someone, you know I will lay down my life for you darling,

07:05if at age 28 if that person is still your dream master, then probably there is a problem or there

07:17is a great coincidence that the person has grown at an equal speed, ideally you should be outgrowing

07:26your likes and desires at a very rapid rate, do you still like the toys you, at age 3,

07:42when you were 3 you had a favorite toy, do you remember it, but sir you are dehumanizing my

07:52love, you are reducing her to a toy, sir let's talk facts, at your age when you get attracted

08:01to a girl, obviously the two of you are toys to each other, are you not or is it consciousness

08:08getting attracted to consciousness, no, it's just body and body and you will toy with each

08:13other's body the moment you get chance, what happens to the toys that were your favorites

08:21at age 3, you outgrow them when you are 6, then you outgrow the 6 year toys at 10 and then 15

08:31and then 20 and you move on, that progression is the essence of life, come on rise, move on,

08:36how can you still be attracted towards that same person, how? Is it sounding too brutal in human?

08:52Death knell of relationships, the woes to accompany each other for seven births,

09:01that can happen only if both of you are totally stagnant, is it not? Take this at least as a fresh

09:16perspective, I am not asking you to accept it, people grow differently, the one who appears

09:26attractive to you today, why do you take it as a mandate to be with him even 10 years later,

09:34that person can outgrow you or you can outgrow that person or the two of you can grow in different

09:42directions, what is the need to be so sticky to each other or are you welded? You know even if

09:55you weld two different metals together, what happens when they are heated and their coefficient

10:04of expansions are different, what happens? Because they are different and they will behave

10:14differently and move differently, but our culture, we are told once you have fallen in love with

10:23someone at the ripe old age of 8 years, you should continue with her for the next 7 births,

10:31leave her alone, she has a life to live, growing out of your partner might be a sign of maturity

10:47and it also might be a sign of compassion, think of it, often in the name of love, we just impose

10:57ourselves on someone who was unfortunate enough to once say yes to us, 5 years back she said yes,

11:09so even today I am at her throat and the rest of her body, you remember that day you said yes,

11:18yes, so you have to live by your yes, she was internally drunk, forgive her, just issue a

11:30general pardon and let her go, you said yes and in most cases there is no yes at all,

11:43even the yes is not there and yet the allegation is there, disloyal, what is loyalty? What do you

11:54mean by loyalty? What do you mean by continuation in time? If you really have love for someone,

12:04you make the sky available to them, you let them fly free, is that not an expression of love or is

12:14clinginess an expression of love? I will stick to you and if I cannot stick to you physically,

12:20then I will stick to you in my memories, that's what all defeated lovers do, right? I cannot

12:27touch you physically, so I will touch you in my and those are the memories we cherish, don't we?

12:35You know, you remember, that's also the stuff of most of our songs, I fully appreciate, I am not

12:51being heartless, I fully appreciate how difficult it is to get rid of all that, but I also know the

12:59consequences of sticking to something other than the truth, if you have to stick, stick to greatness,

13:09stick to truth, stick to a wonderful purpose, don't stick to a mere girl, set her free.

13:21I am not being heartless, I fully appreciate how difficult it is to get rid of all that, but I also know the consequences of sticking, stick to truth, set her free.

Category

Transcript

Recommended