Servants British BBC TV Drama Romance Miniseries 2003 E02 | Subtitles
#northangerabbey #janeeyre #bethfreed25 https://dailymotion.com/bethfreed25
A grand dinner is to be held and George gets William involved in a scam whereby they will obtain cheap fish for the occasion. Unfortunately the fish is bad and the guests go down with food poisoning. Andrew, the sneaky, bullying under-butler, is aware of what has happened and wants money to keep quiet. Grace comes to George's aid by selling her engagement ring to raise the cash.
A grand dinner is to be held and George gets William involved in a scam whereby they will obtain cheap fish for the occasion. Unfortunately the fish is bad and the guests go down with food poisoning. Andrew, the sneaky, bullying under-butler, is aware of what has happened and wants money to keep quiet. Grace comes to George's aid by selling her engagement ring to raise the cash.
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00The Earl likes his athletes. I've only just started, Mr. Jarvis. I am hard-working and
00:00:13ambitious. George Cosmo, your servant. Wasting your time with her is too good for you. The
00:00:20Coliseum, by a local artist. I'm going to be underbuttoner. You've lost, mate. Shame.
00:00:27You, not pay for them once. You, that's all. Not underbuttoner after all. I'll get over it.
00:00:34You'll have to learn to behave yourself then. I'll be as good as gold from now on, I promise.
00:00:57But no, no, please, no more battle honours. It was merely 22 bloodthirsty savages. No,
00:01:1447 bloodthirsty savages. Is there a problem, Cosmo? Mr. Cosmo? I am no hero. I'm just
00:01:36an ordinary job. Cosmo, what's going on? Just coming, sir. All done, Mr. Cosmo. Kept
00:01:46him agreed to nicely, sir. The strings were all knotted. Good lad. First thing I look
00:01:50for when he comes up that dry. Is that the best jacket you've got? Mrs. Ryan said if
00:01:56I pass for my information. We'll see after this visit then, shall we? We've got a brand
00:02:02new livery just waiting for a new owner. You tell the others one minute. And then all hell
00:02:11breaks loose. Are you with us, Fred? Oh, I don't know where I am. Oh, God, I love the
00:02:17hunting season. And the Frankhams more, mate. Best tip is going. Make yourself noticed and
00:02:21earn yourself a packing. Oh, and the Frankham girls, they like a big strong lad at the door,
00:02:25if you know what I mean. They're like a bear, mate, so that rules you out. There's the maid.
00:02:32At Crown House. Pulls her skirt over so she's got a whole ruffle of petticoat showing. And
00:02:38she crosses her legs. She does. I've seen her. She's no better than she should be, that
00:02:43one. Neaten yourself up, Grace. Anything a bit out of place today and they'll send you
00:02:47packing. Oh, not you at all. Just that Mr. Jarvis clucking like an old hen. Oh, well,
00:02:52given the choice between Beelzebub visiting a Mr. Prudham. Ah, the Prudham. He's only
00:02:56a butler, though, isn't he? Arch enemies. Always have been. Mr. Jarvis said I passed
00:03:01the probation. Oh, good for you. Yeah. If you did. I did. I was good as, Grace. Oh,
00:03:08was good as. It's you all over, isn't it? Can't open your trap without spinning the yarn.
00:04:01It's an informal dinner for the master's oldest friends, so there will only be a few visiting
00:04:06servants. We all know they'll be hoping to pick up tidbits of scandal to brighten up
00:04:12their dull lives, don't we? So we will have no gossip. No tittle-tattle about the family.
00:04:19Just as we will have no sloppiness, back-chat or drunkenness.
00:04:24Susan, my room, please. Yes, Mrs. Ryan.
00:04:37Their butler is, of course, my old friend, Mr. Prothero. We will show him, will we not,
00:04:46how a household of quality conducts itself. His poor wretches will leave here wishing to
00:04:53God they were Taplow's staff. Right, gentlemen. Front door duty. Frederick, that's you. Try and
00:05:08look awake, son. Now, the rota for valet and the weekend's guests is up in the footman's room.
00:05:15Off the top of my head, Frederick, you have the old lord. There are first shoots on Monday. Make
00:05:19sure that your gentlemen have... Is there a problem, Mr. Forrest?
00:05:28Maybe you think you should be standing where I'm standing, saying what I'm saying.
00:05:33Oh, no. I'd never be that bonkers to imagine that I should be in your place.
00:05:39Would you not? Well, look on this as a warning. A warning that your obvious contempt and dislike
00:05:48has returned in full and then doubled. And just for good measure, Mr. Forrest,
00:05:56you will assist the earl as usual. Frederick will look after the old lord.
00:06:01And therefore, Frederick will get all the tips. Have you heard, Mr. Jarvis? Now, jump to it.
00:06:08That's just earned you a job you really won't like. Get your walking shoes on.
00:06:22You don't know the sodding on the bother. When do you get off talking to me like that?
00:06:25A few errands. I'm waiting on his lordship.
00:06:29You're waiting on me, boy. Joseph, get yourself up to that breakfast room.
00:06:34Now, Miss Harriet's lace, the fishmonger and the saddler.
00:06:42Or would you rather argue your cause with Mr. Jarvis?
00:06:49Well?
00:06:53Mm-hmm. What's wrong?
00:07:03Nothing. Everything's just lovely. Bloody Fred will end up with five, both will do it, sod all.
00:07:07And I've got to walk bloody miles. You're frank, Grace.
00:07:12It's not my frank anymore.
00:07:16Do you mind, Will? Will?
00:07:20I did a few trips to town for him, to the fishman.
00:07:23I know there was a scam going on.
00:07:25Ask someone else. I'm busy.
00:07:27Come on, Grace, be a mate.
00:07:28No, I've got to get Lord Harry's breakfast. Will!
00:07:31What was he up to with the fishmonger?
00:07:35Chef always orders the best, but he don't know a piece of cod from a South Sea kipper.
00:07:38Right.
00:07:39So, Frank told him what he wanted to hear.
00:07:43It's all right, Harry.
00:07:47He likes expensive stuff, the chef.
00:07:49But the fishmonger can always come up with the goods.
00:07:54Oh, God, Will, how thick are you?
00:07:58I've left his phone on the stove. Will, let us go.
00:08:05Esther.
00:08:06Are you listening at doors again?
00:08:08I'm walking past. That is allowed, is it?
00:08:14Harry, it's all right.
00:08:16Oh, no!
00:08:19Look at it. Look what you made me do. They're going to kill me.
00:08:22Just be quiet. It's not all broken.
00:08:24Oh, no!
00:08:25Oh, no!
00:08:26Get out of your bear garden.
00:08:32That was teeth and buckets of blood, lassie.
00:08:35What have you done?
00:08:37She didn't mean to.
00:08:39She was just rushing to Harry, and she bumped into me.
00:08:43It's all right, Grace. I'll tell Mrs Ryan it was just an accident.
00:08:50You, follow me.
00:08:53The derby service.
00:09:00Oh, Grace, not the derby service.
00:09:02I was nowhere near her, Mrs Ryan.
00:09:04You were at her feet, miss.
00:09:06Not when she dropped everything. I was...
00:09:10Esther turned round and...
00:09:12Have you any idea how much a single plate from that service is worth?
00:09:16We'll have a plate a week off you, starting now.
00:09:22Make a list, Grace, and resign yourself to a very small income for the foreseeable future.
00:09:35Chef's determined to pay to wax or we'll let him.
00:09:38He pays through the nose, and that makes him happy.
00:09:40We help Llewelyn to fool him with the cheap stuff that makes us happy, yeah?
00:09:44Andrew said you.
00:09:45Yeah, but what the eye doesn't see.
00:09:47Go to Llewelyn's and tell him it goes on.
00:09:50You face his same ordeal.
00:09:53We'll help him get this stuff past Chef.
00:09:56Why can't you go and walk to the village?
00:09:58Anyway, I'm going to prove it.
00:10:00What, Esther Spicer?
00:10:02Excuse me?
00:10:03More like a bloody threat.
00:10:05You know she'd actually grace me, right?
00:10:07She wouldn't stay out of the girls' stuff, George.
00:10:09He sold teeth and hair and hair pulling.
00:10:11Look, we could be onto a good thing here.
00:10:14Think of it every week until we get caught.
00:10:16How?
00:10:17Don't you know the difference between a salmon from Scotland and one from Wales?
00:10:21The accent.
00:10:22You could do with the extra cash, couldn't you?
00:10:24Yeah.
00:10:27I was nowhere near her when she dropped that tray.
00:10:30Plate a week.
00:10:32By the time I sent my mum her share and paid Mrs Ryan,
00:10:35I'm going to be working for bloody nothing.
00:10:37Well, we counted the pieces.
00:10:39Three cups.
00:10:40Yeah, for months and months.
00:10:42Oh, William Forrest.
00:10:44And a gravy dish.
00:10:46He must have seen I was nowhere near her.
00:10:49Why didn't he say anything?
00:10:50He wouldn't, would he?
00:10:52Footmen being liars from birth.
00:10:55Not all of us, love.
00:10:59Maybe he was looking the other way.
00:11:00No, he saw.
00:11:02He just wouldn't say anything, would he?
00:11:04We all know why.
00:11:07I just hope she gives him the clap.
00:11:14Come on, don't start boggling about.
00:11:17Oh, that tray.
00:11:19You do pick your moment.
00:11:22You're not going to say anything, are you?
00:11:32Are you?
00:11:39I've kissed them all and found them fine.
00:11:42Dora, Jane and Prue.
00:11:45But Gracie, how my heart doth pine for a little taste of you.
00:11:56Lady Frankham must have three tepid baths a day.
00:12:01Lord Frankham insists that all the family,
00:12:05including all the servants,
00:12:06have a glass of egg flick every morning.
00:12:09No, I will not make that sloppy.
00:12:11A proverb makes it.
00:12:12He's mastered insistence.
00:12:14Ah, it gets better.
00:12:17Their dog requires five walks a day,
00:12:20not exceeding a mile and not less than 20 minutes in time.
00:12:23My men love nothing more than mincing along with a bloody lapdog.
00:12:27Oh, I don't know about that.
00:12:29There is a few footmen who might enjoy it.
00:12:34And finally, the senior servants will be arriving sometime this morning.
00:12:42From London.
00:12:58Very small trees.
00:13:00New money.
00:13:02I'm sure they've got nothing we haven't got, Mr Frotherall.
00:13:05Well, he's an arrogant man, Mrs Fraser.
00:13:08I believe so.
00:13:09It's not something I'm proud of,
00:13:11and certainly not something I want to bandy about.
00:13:15I would never.
00:13:18I applied for the position at Tatlow's.
00:13:21He, I'm sure, knows it.
00:13:24Revels in it.
00:13:27Every time I think I've made myself his equal,
00:13:31he proves me wrong.
00:13:38You know the thing he can't stand?
00:13:52Joviality.
00:14:04Mrs Bryant.
00:14:05Mr Frotherall.
00:14:06Walter!
00:14:09Jarvis.
00:14:12Of course.
00:14:15Jarvis.
00:14:16I believe that slaves in the Americas do the same.
00:14:20Change their names to please their masters.
00:14:22Agnes, very good to see you.
00:14:24My other men are just behind us.
00:14:26What other men?
00:14:26Your letter said there would be you and Mrs Fraser.
00:14:28However, all are welcome.
00:14:30There's plenty of room.
00:14:31Gentlemen, Agnes.
00:14:33Well, Mr Jarvis, where can we put our provisions?
00:14:54Miss Redport.
00:14:57I know the skirt's a bit tacky, but this is real silver.
00:15:01Give you throttles.
00:15:03Come on.
00:15:03I'm not giving it away.
00:15:04You can get up to here.
00:15:07What about that?
00:15:09No use to you no more.
00:15:10Only Peggy's getting wed next month and they haven't got one.
00:15:14That's not for sale.
00:15:16I thought you was glad to get shot at him.
00:15:18It's my mother's.
00:15:22Here, Peggy, fancy your shoes?
00:15:24They're the only ones I got.
00:15:25Well, take them off you, you shillen.
00:15:28Can't pledge a troth of the bunions on show now, can she?
00:15:33How about a pound of flesh?
00:15:37Pint of blood?
00:15:40I could kill Esther.
00:15:51Come on, Tommy.
00:15:55You're sure Chef won't notice?
00:15:57That foreign guest doesn't know the front end of an ad
00:15:59from the arsehole of a whelk.
00:16:01It's a good job he's got us looking after him, then, is it?
00:16:05It's over you and William Forrest from now on, will it?
00:16:07Every week.
00:16:08Regular as clockwork.
00:16:10Making sure you give us the best that you've got.
00:16:13Good job I'm not a man to take offence.
00:16:16As if I'd palm off any old rubbish on his lordship.
00:16:20As if you would.
00:16:24Come on.
00:16:32But we have eggs.
00:16:34And the largest area in the county, of course.
00:16:36It's for his lordship's egg flip.
00:16:40He insists on our own raised eggs, our own churned cream,
00:16:43and if we could make our own brandy, then...
00:16:45Well, every family has its eccentrics.
00:16:53Good.
00:16:55I'll show them, girl.
00:16:57Oh, Fred.
00:16:58I'll show them, girl.
00:16:59No, Fred.
00:17:01I'll spank him like his mother.
00:17:03Girl!
00:17:04He's here. I've told him to wait till you give him a nod.
00:17:06Good stuff, is he?
00:17:07Well, it's poms you've made me. It's very cheap.
00:17:09Lovely. I've got the lads already lined up.
00:17:10Yeah, they have to make some noise to get chef out of his pantry, though.
00:17:13Oh, they would. I told Fred that Paul called him a big girl
00:17:15and I told Paul the same.
00:17:16Right, I'll start them off.
00:17:17Listen, I'll go and give Chloe the nod.
00:17:19I've got about a minute to get the whole lot in.
00:17:20George.
00:17:22Don't worry about him, eh?
00:17:23Don't worry about him.
00:17:26Right.
00:17:28Don't say your prayers in the good of the thoroughfare, madam.
00:17:43What the hell are they supposed to be?
00:17:45Sorry, Mr. Jarvis.
00:17:46Change them. Now.
00:17:48I haven't got any other, sir.
00:17:50Then you'd better find some.
00:17:51Use shoes, madam. Quick as you like.
00:17:54It wouldn't last five minutes in my household.
00:17:58There are whores who are better shod than you.
00:18:07Don't worry about him.
00:18:09I'll buy you a new pair of shoes.
00:18:11Of course you will.
00:18:12You just wait till the tips start rolling.
00:18:14I'll buy you shoes for upstairs, shoes for down, and boots for Sunday.
00:18:19Now stop freaking about.
00:18:20Chloe lands at the back door.
00:18:24Ready, lads? Ready?
00:18:29Wait for the signal.
00:18:30Hey, wait.
00:18:33Wait. Steady, Paul.
00:18:37Come on, Fred.
00:18:42What?
00:18:45Just a bit of a knock.
00:18:46I raffled it against Ed.
00:18:53No!
00:18:55No!
00:18:57No!
00:18:59No!
00:19:01No!
00:19:03No!
00:19:05No!
00:19:07Will that Paul Stormington do it?
00:19:09Who's that?
00:19:11Ah, magnificent, Polly Gurnate.
00:19:13My compliments to the chief gardener.
00:19:15Beautiful.
00:19:17Whoops.
00:19:19I'll be right back.
00:19:21Whoops.
00:19:23Good quality.
00:19:25And if I give tat blues anything less?
00:19:27Quick, quick, quick!
00:19:29What is going on out here?
00:19:31Get out of my kitchen!
00:19:33You asshole!
00:19:35You arsehole!
00:19:37My kitchen is not your kitchen!
00:19:39You bastard!
00:19:45You English hooligans!
00:19:47Get in my kitchen again
00:19:49and next time I'll have you!
00:19:51What are you, some boy?
00:19:55This is a man's house!
00:19:57Look at the line.
00:19:59Felix Krauss
00:20:01should waste his life
00:20:03in such a place!
00:20:09Excellent.
00:20:13Can't pull the wool over his eyes, eh?
00:20:29Thank you very much, gentlemen.
00:20:31I'll get you a beer later.
00:20:33Who won?
00:20:35Who gives a stuff?
00:20:37Excuse me.
00:20:39Little business I need to attend to.
00:20:41Tat blues.
00:20:43Every last one of you.
00:20:45Mad as hatters.
00:21:07Years I've been living here,
00:21:09watching Frank cashing in,
00:21:11living in a honeypot, dying of hunger.
00:21:13Five bob each.
00:21:15A bit more than that
00:21:17and it's paid.
00:21:19Not a bad day's work, is it?
00:21:21What are you going to do with yours?
00:21:23Wine, women and song and I'll waste the rest.
00:21:25What about you?
00:21:27A woman, just a woman.
00:21:29No wine and I'll sing my own songs.
00:21:31So that's a little Gracie?
00:21:33She won't have you.
00:21:35How many times she got to tell you no?
00:21:37The more she says no,
00:21:39the more she means it.
00:21:47Come on.
00:22:01I knew we should have left earlier.
00:22:03All I want is gallons and gallons
00:22:05of hot water.
00:22:07Mr. Frankham, Miss Victoria,
00:22:09tea is served in your room.
00:22:11I'll send your maids up as soon as possible.
00:22:13I'm sure you remember the way, but just in case.
00:22:15I'm desperate to get these boots off you.
00:22:25I can never trust you to behave properly.
00:22:27Can we, Mr. Forrest?
00:22:33Take your break.
00:22:35I've just had light dinner.
00:22:37Then you can follow it up with an early supper.
00:22:39You're off duty till ten.
00:22:41Graveyard shift.
00:22:43That's down to the most junior footman.
00:22:45Oh, we finally get the message.
00:22:53Any chance to get noticed,
00:22:55earn a few tips.
00:22:59Well, you, mate,
00:23:01are going to be safely out of sight.
00:23:03Now bugger off.
00:23:05Well, Mr. Forrest,
00:23:07before you take your break...
00:23:09Betsy!
00:23:13You can take Miss Catherine's puppy dog here
00:23:15for walkies.
00:23:29Mr. Frankham,
00:23:31I'm sure you know
00:23:33Mr. Prothero,
00:23:35for all his airs and graces,
00:23:37has not thought to send a sufficient ladies' maids.
00:23:39So,
00:23:41Charlotte,
00:23:43you can maid Mrs. Rawlings.
00:23:45Don't need to worry too much about her.
00:23:47She's a new glorified grocer's daughter.
00:23:49Lucy, you can look after
00:23:51the two younger girls.
00:23:53I looked after the Frankham girls
00:23:55last Christmas, Mrs. Ryan.
00:23:57Charlotte, I'm not stupid.
00:23:59I know the two young ladies are very easily pleased
00:24:01and leave an extravagant tip.
00:24:03Lucy is a ladies' maid, they'll expect no less.
00:24:05Grace, did you want me?
00:24:07Is there anything I can do
00:24:09when Lord Harry's resting?
00:24:11Ladies' maiding or anything?
00:24:13Your job is to keep Lord Harry away from the guests.
00:24:15And with shoes like that,
00:24:17you do well to keep yourself hidden.
00:24:19Off you go now.
00:24:25Farts on my pillow,
00:24:27a whore in the night.
00:24:29Move up behind you,
00:24:31it looks like Autumn Gail's in here.
00:24:33My Ollie, but wearily.
00:24:35Her thighs
00:24:37glimmer white.
00:24:39The tall one,
00:24:4119 years old.
00:24:43They reckon her
00:24:45no proper Stuart.
00:24:47Her and Chalky?
00:24:49Never.
00:24:51Well, her and me, now that I could imagine.
00:24:53I'm sure you think
00:24:55it's very small of me.
00:24:57Mean-minded.
00:24:59I think he's going out of his way
00:25:01to insult and aggravate you.
00:25:03He is.
00:25:05I know he is.
00:25:07The man is a clown.
00:25:09Boasting about his silly
00:25:11egg custody stuff.
00:25:13Swaggering and preening and...
00:25:15He is a ridiculous figure.
00:25:17Isn't he?
00:25:19He is.
00:25:21Mean my footmen treat him with contempt?
00:25:23They certainly do.
00:25:31Mr Mackie!
00:25:41Bloody prothero.
00:25:45It's not as if you've got any experience as a lady's maid.
00:25:47There's only one way to get it.
00:25:49I'm not being funny,
00:25:51but there's things you have to learn.
00:25:53You can't just walk into the job.
00:25:55It's really difficult, is it?
00:25:57Coaching and smiling at the same time.
00:25:59If she can look after Lord Harry in that.
00:26:01It's a little bit more complicated than
00:26:03wiping their shitty arses.
00:26:05And if you haven't had the training...
00:26:07You haven't had the training?
00:26:11Race.
00:26:19Come on.
00:26:23I've got it.
00:26:27For you.
00:26:31Got some tips early, did you?
00:26:33Yeah. They like the look of me.
00:26:35Liar, liar. Your pants are on fire.
00:26:39I want to keep this job.
00:26:41I'm already in trouble and in hock.
00:26:43That's why I'm offering Grace.
00:26:45When you get caught,
00:26:47I'm going to deal me down with you.
00:26:49No-one is going to get caught.
00:26:51And anyway, I haven't done anything wrong.
00:26:55I'm broke, George.
00:26:57Not stupid.
00:27:17All right, William.
00:27:19Having yourself a nice little walk there, mate?
00:27:25Oh, lovely.
00:27:31Fred.
00:27:33Doctor with a four-lugged shit machine.
00:27:35Likes his walks now and then.
00:27:37Do you mind?
00:27:39If you don't love...
00:27:41Gentlemen.
00:27:43A small gesture.
00:27:45A small gesture from the frankens.
00:27:47A little something to warm the cockles.
00:27:49A lovely glass of egg for me.
00:27:51Not for us Portugalese people,
00:27:53Mr Calderon.
00:27:55Why ever not?
00:27:57You're my people. You'd enjoy this every day.
00:27:59As served in Buckhouse.
00:28:01Only last month.
00:28:03I hope that we all know
00:28:05what we're expected to do tonight.
00:28:07Mr Jarvis.
00:28:09A taste of sophistication.
00:28:11Hmm.
00:28:13Hmm.
00:28:15To old acquaintance.
00:28:17And to new.
00:28:19To new acquaintances.
00:28:33The manners of the pigs.
00:28:39Lady, what's her face been showing for you?
00:28:41Been out of the house?
00:28:45Bloody woman.
00:28:47Needs a good sauté.
00:28:51Hello.
00:28:53Roots of the estate.
00:28:55Turbo sauce crevette.
00:28:59Casserole de frites de merde.
00:29:01Filet de boeuf piqué.
00:29:03Faisons rôti.
00:29:11My girls
00:29:13are attending the young ladies.
00:29:15Mrs Rawling was most appreciative.
00:29:17Everything
00:29:19as it should be.
00:29:23And Mr Prothero
00:29:25is ill with disappointment.
00:29:41Hmm.
00:29:43Can't stand
00:29:45slimy bloody things.
00:29:47All right by me.
00:29:49I'll have your share.
00:29:51My name's Blanca Worstleybridge, you bastard!
00:29:53I only woke her up tonight!
00:29:55Well, you ought to stop banging around there, love.
00:29:57They don't like bad tempered servants
00:29:59in all the ladies, do they?
00:30:05Hello, hello. Everywhere, everywhere.
00:30:07Nice to see you.
00:30:09Nice to see you.
00:30:11You're the one
00:30:13took ten. I suddenly thought
00:30:15an extra pair of hands
00:30:17might stop Prothero sticking his oar in.
00:30:19So I prayed to Mr Chavis.
00:30:23He was very grateful.
00:30:31Going well, Mr Adams?
00:30:33They all seem happy enough, sir.
00:30:35Cheers.
00:30:39Cheers.
00:30:53You look lovely.
00:30:55Napo.
00:30:57Finish it.
00:30:59Oops.
00:31:03Nearly.
00:31:09Got you.
00:31:11Sorry, Mr Povero.
00:31:17Gentlemen.
00:31:39What is it?
00:31:43Consomme de fruit de mer, miss.
00:31:45Harvest of the sea.
00:31:47Make your blue eyes even bluer.
00:32:39Cheers.
00:32:41Cheers.
00:32:43Cheers.
00:32:45Cheers.
00:32:47Cheers.
00:32:49Cheers.
00:32:51Cheers.
00:32:53Cheers.
00:32:55Cheers.
00:32:57Cheers.
00:32:59Cheers.
00:33:01Cheers.
00:33:03Cheers.
00:33:05Cheers.
00:33:07Cheers.
00:33:25Are you with us, Mr Forrest?
00:33:27The gentlemen are at the port.
00:33:29No need to panic,
00:33:31Mr Jarvis.
00:33:33We'll take in the coffee.
00:33:37Get your mouldering bones out of there.
00:33:39The night isn't over yet.
00:33:41I'm sick, sir.
00:33:43I'll sick you.
00:33:45I'll have you all bollocks.
00:33:47George lad.
00:33:49Perfect timing.
00:33:51Why don't you rest your feet,
00:33:53Mr Povero?
00:33:55Make yourself at home.
00:33:57We have everything under control.
00:34:07Suspend for...
00:34:19End of a long day.
00:34:21Tedious.
00:34:23Not a great deal to be said.
00:34:29All right, then.
00:34:31Good night.
00:34:37Good night.
00:34:59Fred, I'm off.
00:35:07Clockwork.
00:35:09I think we've shown
00:35:11Mr Prothero a thing or two.
00:35:13Seen him off.
00:35:17Good and proper.
00:35:21His position at the Frankhams.
00:35:23I applied for it.
00:35:25Same time as him.
00:35:27Does he?
00:35:29He's never said anything, of course.
00:35:31But then he wouldn't.
00:35:33But he knows.
00:35:39Arrogant bastard.
00:35:47Miss?
00:35:49Miss?
00:36:03Come here.
00:36:11Come here.
00:36:25Five shillings.
00:36:27Where else you gonna get the money from?
00:36:29You wonder why I don't want anything to do with you.
00:36:31If you get caught,
00:36:33we both get kicked out.
00:36:35If you don't get new shoes, you're gonna get kicked out anyway.
00:36:37And if you go,
00:36:39I don't want to stay.
00:36:41What you on about?
00:36:43Go away.
00:36:45Please, love, take the money.
00:36:47I'll never be your love.
00:36:49Never say never.
00:36:51Because you don't know
00:36:53what's around the corner.
00:36:55The longer we stand here,
00:36:57the more likely we are to be caught.
00:36:59Go, you silly sod.
00:37:01Take the money.
00:37:03Go.
00:37:05Grace, take the money.
00:37:07Go to bed.
00:37:09Grace.
00:37:13Grace.
00:37:25Grace.
00:37:27Grace.
00:37:53Where's my man?
00:37:57Open.
00:38:11Oh, no.
00:38:13Sorry.
00:38:15I'll bring you some water.
00:38:27Take this linen up to whoever needs it.
00:38:29Off you go.
00:38:31Lizzie.
00:38:33Lizzie.
00:38:35Unlock the laundry.
00:38:37Light the fire under the cover.
00:38:39The big one.
00:38:41Be quiet, for God's sake.
00:38:43The white brother-in-law
00:38:45will have it right round the county in a week.
00:38:57Here, could you just deal with this?
00:38:59Me? Really?
00:39:01Well, I've got Miss Caroline.
00:39:03Oh, I'm sorry, Charlotte.
00:39:05Like you said, there's a lot more to it
00:39:07than just wiping shitty arses,
00:39:09and I'm just not trained up.
00:39:17Charles has already been out
00:39:19smelling the pig's will,
00:39:21so I can't be the only one thinking it.
00:39:23I had bloody oysters.
00:39:25I only had one.
00:39:27If he puts the screws on Fishface,
00:39:29you're gonna wish you'd finished him off and said goodbye to mortal life.
00:39:31Oh!
00:39:33You said this was foolproof.
00:39:35No risk.
00:39:37They'll blame Prince Albert, won't they?
00:39:41But this cost me my job,
00:39:43my new livery,
00:39:45or anything else.
00:39:47It won't.
00:39:49I'll sort it.
00:39:51I'll tell the fishmonger to keep his mouth shut
00:39:53tomorrow after church.
00:39:55Before lunch sometime.
00:40:13Crossbow!
00:40:15Oh, come on, I gotta run!
00:40:17Leave the deer alone! Crossbow!
00:40:19Come along.
00:40:21Church.
00:40:23If you're breathing, you'll be there.
00:40:25Good morning, Mr Jarvis.
00:40:27Mr Prothero.
00:40:29Mrs Fraser.
00:40:31We're assuming that no one has died in the night.
00:40:33Apparently not.
00:40:35Thank you, Mr Prothero.
00:40:37I will be with you directly.
00:40:39You know the way.
00:40:41Oh, indeed.
00:40:43Indeed.
00:40:46His Lordship's waiting.
00:40:48Where is everyone?
00:40:50I will not have unpunctuality.
00:40:53Let's have some movement, please.
00:41:01Not ill, Mr Adams.
00:41:03You're accusing me of stealing.
00:41:05You better watch that mouth of yours.
00:41:07Well, I didn't eat any of the dinner, and I'm not sick.
00:41:09And I didn't, and I'm just lovely.
00:41:11You're just gonna be a lovely cripple if I hear any more of you.
00:41:13His Lordship's blaming the fish, that's all I'm saying.
00:41:15If they blame the fish,
00:41:17then anyone who's sick has had some of the fish,
00:41:19that's what they'll say.
00:41:23If anyone asks,
00:41:25I'm a Lord Frankham.
00:41:27You should shut up about the bloody fish, Fred.
00:41:29Not as if it's the only thing anyone ate.
00:41:31You know what I think? The oysters.
00:41:33It could have been anything.
00:41:35The amount of shite you were putting down your neck.
00:41:37Anything. You've got your hands on cheeses,
00:41:39ham, cakes,
00:41:41egg flip.
00:41:47About turn, ladies and gentlemen,
00:41:49if you please, quick as you like.
00:41:51No church, Mr Jarvis?
00:41:53I'm afraid not.
00:41:55The vicar and the curate,
00:41:57prostate and the crypt.
00:42:11Well, I suppose
00:42:13if the Lord gets the shits, then the vicar can too.
00:42:15Our dad used to say,
00:42:17if anything's for free,
00:42:19then the church will be there first.
00:42:21It's hardly Christian to cry about another's hen.
00:42:23Oh, shut up.
00:42:25Shut up.
00:42:27Mom.
00:42:29They'll be wondering where we are.
00:42:37Am I?
00:42:39Am I?
00:42:41I know.
00:42:43How did you get them?
00:42:45Brought them back here.
00:42:49Will you be expecting anything in return?
00:42:51Nothing.
00:42:53Just don't like seeing you get in trouble,
00:42:55that's all.
00:42:57You're a real Saint George Cosmo.
00:43:01I know about the fish scam.
00:43:03I don't know what you're talking about.
00:43:05Oh.
00:43:07Frederick says it was the oysters.
00:43:09Well, Frederick's got a big mouth.
00:43:11And anyway, it wasn't.
00:43:13And anyway, look.
00:43:15Stuff it, Grace.
00:43:17You need shoes.
00:43:19And these are going big in.
00:43:21So you gonna put them on or what?
00:43:35The guests are on their end.
00:43:37We'll be leaving shortly for London.
00:43:39But the servants.
00:43:41But the servants?
00:43:43What?
00:43:45We'll have to stay an extra night.
00:43:47The devil they will.
00:43:49They'll be setting off tomorrow
00:43:51for their house in Edinburgh.
00:43:53Chortling as they go.
00:43:55Crowing.
00:43:57It's bad enough that we poisoned the household,
00:43:59but it's bad enough that we poisoned the church.
00:44:01It's bad enough that we poisoned the church.
00:44:03It's bad enough that we poisoned the household,
00:44:05but in front of Prothero.
00:44:07In front of bloody Prothero.
00:44:09The next sick servant I see,
00:44:11I'll wrench out his heart and eat it.
00:44:13Aye, sir.
00:44:19Bloody Prothero.
00:44:33Chattering.
00:44:43Joseph!
00:44:47Did you drink the egg flip?
00:44:49Well, that's shite.
00:44:51That's a pity, Joseph.
00:44:53That is a pity.
00:44:55Because,
00:44:57if you ate the fish,
00:44:59some people might say you were a thief.
00:45:01If you didn't
00:45:03eat the fish, though,
00:45:05and you did drink the egg flip,
00:45:07the egg flip
00:45:09that Prothero made
00:45:11and told you to drink...
00:45:15Well...
00:45:27Egg flip.
00:45:31Whistling.
00:46:01Whistling.
00:46:15Susan.
00:46:17You're no dog! Why the hell am I accusing you?
00:46:19I don't know what you're talking about.
00:46:21Did you go to the market?
00:46:23Did you tell little Ellen to pay myself for any old rubbish?
00:46:25I couldn't do that.
00:46:27I thought I was over the worst.
00:46:29Would you even come to an area if I was you, Mr. Adams?
00:46:32I have four screaming brats at home.
00:46:34Fetal incontinence is my bread and butter.
00:46:36Now, what is this? Go on, you pathetic little...
00:46:42A confession, now, Mr. Forrest.
00:46:44And all this nastiness can be put behind us.
00:46:47They all drank the egg flip, and they're all safe.
00:46:50But they won't get in trouble for it.
00:46:52Go away, George.
00:46:54Think about it, Susan. If you ate the fish, you're a thief.
00:46:58If you drank the egg flip...
00:47:01Susan.
00:47:02Right, right, whatever you want.
00:47:05Never touch the rotten fish.
00:47:09Happy?
00:47:11And did you have any egg flip?
00:47:15I did, as it happens.
00:47:17But only what Mr. Povero gave me.
00:47:21Excellent. Now, get some bread.
00:47:28Come on.
00:47:35Piss off, Wilf.
00:47:42Nearly there.
00:47:44Come on, now.
00:47:47How much?
00:47:50How much?
00:47:52A guinea.
00:47:53A guinea?
00:47:55You dumb bastard.
00:47:57Do you have any idea how much that contract's worth to Llewellyn?
00:48:02Hand it over.
00:48:05And Jarvis need never know.
00:48:07If you don't, then I will tell him
00:48:10what a grasping, greedy, dishonest little prick you are.
00:48:14And how you have brought sickness and disgrace to Taplos.
00:48:19How does that tickle you?
00:48:27It's only a matter of time.
00:48:31One small incident like this in a lifetime of service, Mr. Kraus.
00:48:36No one would risk losing you for that.
00:48:40Excuse me, Mr. Jarvis.
00:48:42Is Lord Chipwich to speak to Sheriff?
00:48:48You have nothing to worry about, Felix.
00:49:16Bloody idiot.
00:49:19All I want to know is, did you have anything for him?
00:49:24Johnny?
00:49:26Yes.
00:49:30No more Prussian rubbish.
00:49:32We'll have good plain English from now on.
00:49:48Chef, chef, I'm looking for George.
00:49:51Chef.
00:49:57You can't have spent it. You haven't been anywhere.
00:50:00I haven't got it. Then get it.
00:50:03I'm in on a pair of shoes.
00:50:05This is you running after skirt again, isn't it?
00:50:08This is you pouring everything out to the first nosy bastard.
00:50:11He saw me leaving the estate. He's not daft.
00:50:13He would have worked it out for himself.
00:50:17Shall we give him a car?
00:50:19We'll give him every penny, otherwise he goes to Jarvis.
00:50:22He wouldn't. He would.
00:50:24He's laid into Prince Albert. Where next for the job?
00:50:27Where Chef's been sacked.
00:50:28Either that or his tart died of syphilis.
00:50:32He's white as a sheet.
00:50:36George, where are you going?
00:50:38I'm going to see Jarvis. Save my job.
00:50:40George, wait a minute.
00:50:46Your stinking shoes cripple you. I hope they give you foot rot.
00:50:49What are you on about?
00:50:50Your bloody shoes have cost me and George our jobs.
00:50:52And your silence cost me three months' wages.
00:50:55Who dropped that tray?
00:50:58When you tell the truth about that...
00:51:14God, Felix.
00:51:16Why the hell did you have to do oysters?
00:51:19Oh, my friend.
00:51:20The smallest threat emanating from the most enfeebled silkworm
00:51:25in the most malnourished warrior in the worst arsehole of Asia
00:51:29is thicker and stronger
00:51:31than the threat by which I have held on to my position in this kitchen.
00:51:37Oh, no! Not another delicious, life-threatening treat?
00:51:41No-one has died, Mr Prothero.
00:51:46Not for the want of try, eh, Mrs Ryan?
00:51:58I'm sorry, Mr Prothero.
00:52:00It's all right.
00:52:02It's all right.
00:52:05Oi, the slavering beast wants you.
00:52:08Tell him I haven't got his bloody money.
00:52:11What are you talking about, Nanny?
00:52:13I went down to Deer Park with him. Joe did the River Walk.
00:52:16You get off easy.
00:52:17Just get stuffed, Fred.
00:52:19I've had enough that Prothero tried.
00:52:21And I haven't.
00:52:23Right, Prospero, come on.
00:52:25Prospero, this way.
00:52:27Prospero, Prospero!
00:52:29Prospero! No! Prospero!
00:52:32Prospero!
00:52:35Prospero!
00:52:37Prospero!
00:52:42Go on, that's right, stuff your face.
00:52:45I hope it bloody poisons you.
00:52:48I hope it kills you.
00:52:52I hope you die in agony.
00:53:02Right, come on.
00:53:04Come on.
00:53:06Come here. Look, come here.
00:53:08Come here, Prospero. Come here. Come, come, come.
00:53:10It's just you were so busy, so I didn't think you'd get the chance to notice.
00:53:13He was going all around the house, sort of making a big thing of it.
00:53:16Like, they live off it and we only have beer or something.
00:53:19It got right up my nose.
00:53:21Fifteen?
00:53:23They're just the ones I managed to speak to, sir.
00:53:25Every single one of them.
00:53:27Egg flip, no fish.
00:53:29Bloody marvellous!
00:53:31Bloody wonderful!
00:53:33Bloody Prospero, eh?
00:53:35And Lou Ellison, do you still want to see him?
00:53:37There's no need. Send him home. When he gets here, my apologies.
00:53:40Tell him I'll see he's all right.
00:53:42Well done.
00:54:02CLOCK TICKS
00:54:17Maggie!
00:54:19Mind your language, girls.
00:54:21It's Mistress May in the ring, what she could never bear to sell.
00:54:32What the hell? That's my bag!
00:54:34You don't go till morning.
00:54:36Ha! You are respectfully requested to revise that plan and piss off now.
00:54:40How dare you speak to us like that?
00:54:43We have been housed in inadequate quarters, disregarded,
00:54:47fed slop, barely fit for pigs.
00:54:50Barely fit for pigs?
00:54:52I'm mortified.
00:54:54I expressly instructed that your food must be absolutely fit for pigs.
00:55:02Out! Out! Out!
00:55:05Thank you. Out!
00:55:07Your sojourn here is over.
00:55:10And our brief spell in purgatory.
00:55:15Lesser House would not have been able to deal with the distemper you brought upon us.
00:55:19Our carriage isn't here yet.
00:55:21And it is about to rain.
00:55:23Light rain will do you no harm.
00:55:26Or we pray for a deluge.
00:55:29Mrs Ryan!
00:55:31After you.
00:55:35Go on. Off you go, mate.
00:55:39I'll send an invoice for the greenhouse storm and three peacocks.
00:55:44Ta-ta, Pauline. Oh, I'm Mr Pomeroy, too.
00:55:47Oi, Agnes!
00:55:49Woo-hoo!
00:55:54Hey, you all right, big boy?
00:55:56Hey, you all right, big boy?
00:56:00Mr Forrest!
00:56:02Reckoning time, if you please.
00:56:05I've only got 15, Bob. What do I do now?
00:56:07I've dealt with it.
00:56:09The fish was fine. Official.
00:56:11Andrew doesn't give a toss about the fish.
00:56:14All he wants is the money.
00:56:16All my bollocks on his plate.
00:56:19I haven't got the money.
00:56:21No. He chucked it away.
00:56:23He's going to have to grease me's tits.
00:56:26Yeah, before the whole house hears you.
00:56:29Not just a pair of tits, will you?
00:56:40How dare you speak to us like that?
00:56:43We've been housed here in adequate quarters.
00:56:46Disregarded.
00:56:48We've been fed food barely fit for pigs.
00:56:54Oh!
00:56:59Did you hear what Felix said to that?
00:57:02It was very impolite.
00:57:04I meant to reprove him of that.
00:57:08But I was too busy laughing at the time.
00:57:12Mrs Bryant.
00:57:24No!
00:57:28Bugger.
00:57:32There is something I think you should all know.
00:57:35Just between us.
00:57:37As friends.
00:57:40And not to be relayed to Mr Jarvis.
00:57:45You were not poisoned by the Francombe's egg flip.
00:57:48You were got by a substandard fish
00:57:51that this craven, greedy bastard introduced to the house.
00:57:57And thanks to Willie Boy here,
00:58:00all our visitors have fled without leaving a single tip.
00:58:05But because I am his friend,
00:58:09as well as yours,
00:58:12and for the honour of Taplos,
00:58:14and so that Mr Forrest here can keep his job,
00:58:17we will all keep quiet.
00:58:19Shall we?
00:58:29I tried to tell you.
00:58:33Hey.
00:58:35Stop the direction.
00:58:37I've got you an extra egg and a black pudding.
00:58:40I've got you an extra egg and a black pudding.
00:58:50For the long hard day at last you're home.
00:58:59Very smart, Mr Cosman.
00:59:07Find you a livery.
00:59:09Oh, very good.
00:59:14Go on then.
00:59:16Go on, kissy yourself, kid.
00:59:20Beer.
00:59:25Sorry about your ring.
00:59:28I owe you.
00:59:30You got me my shoes.
00:59:32So you owe me.
01:00:01The trousers come off though.
01:00:03Not for me they don't.
01:00:10It wasn't his fault.
01:00:12I don't think the animals see it that way.
01:00:16Be very careful, Mrs Ryan,
01:00:18should I have asked your permission.