Best Cartoon - Calvin and The Colonel #classiccartoons #kids (0)
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01:41Ain't it nice, my doing we spend in the quiet evenin' at home?
01:46Yes, honey, it's just like those nights back on dee o'o old plantation.
01:51Sitting there on de porch...
01:54the smell of honeysuckle...
01:55with the sound of de crickets crickin, an' de katy dizz dizdin'
02:00Peace and Serenity. I tell you...
02:03La la la la la la la la la la la !
02:09Annie Bell, what was that?
02:11Sounds like the garbage disposal is backing up again.
02:14That's just Sister Sue. She's going out this evening and she's getting dressed.
02:19Going out again? What is that gal up to?
02:22This is the third night this week.
02:24I make it a distinct practice never to pry into Sister Sue's business.
02:32Well, ta ta all. And don't wait up.
02:40Yeah, ta ta to you too.
02:42Good night, Sister dear. Enjoy yourself.
02:46Did you see that glint in her eye?
02:49Why, she looked like sitting bull just before he gave Custer that Indian scalp treatment.
02:54I tell you, there's no good in that gal going out three nights in a row.
02:58Montgomery, maybe you're right.
03:01Suppose Sister Sue was run over.
03:04Suppose she got hurt.
03:06Or suppose she met with violence.
03:09We've got to do something about it, Montgomery.
03:13Maggie Bell, you were right.
03:15First thing in the morning, I'm going down and take out an accident policy on that old gal.
03:23Well, Colonel, it appears to me you have a problem.
03:27Your Sister Law has been out four nights in a row.
03:30Yeah, Calvin, my friend.
03:32She didn't get in till three o'clock this morning.
03:35She's become a real nocturnal nanny goat.
03:38You don't suppose that Sister Sue has gone and got herself a boyfriend, do you?
03:42At her age? Ha! Don't be silly, Calvin.
03:45She's got a boyfriend.
03:47I don't think so.
03:50I see you're reading the paper there, Calvin.
03:52What's new, son?
03:54Well, I see that bandit struck again.
03:57Uh, what bandit is that?
03:59Well, you know, Colonel, that woman who's been breaking into jewelry stores at night.
04:04The one they call the Polka-Dot Bandit.
04:07The Polka-Dot Bandit?
04:10Yeah, that's the one.
04:12I don't know who that is.
04:15The Polka-Dot Bandit?
04:17A woman?
04:18Yeah, they call her that because a couple of times they've seen her,
04:22she's been wearing a polka-dot dress.
04:25My Sister Sue has been wearing a polka-dot dress lately?
04:30They got a pretty good description of her here, too.
04:33Witnesses describe the Polka-Dot Bandit as being beetle-browed with small, cruel eyes
04:42and a receding chin.
04:44One of the witnesses describes her as having a peculiar loping gait.
04:52This sounds more and more like Sister Sue.
04:55She's got a looping walk.
04:57She always walks like she's cranking her Essex.
05:00Now, Colonel, you don't think that Sister Sue could be the Polka-Dot Bandit, do you, really?
05:06I don't know what to think.
05:08I don't know what to think.
05:10I've been putting all these pieces together here and it adds up to a pretty jiggly jigsaw puzzle.
05:16Well, what plans have you got, Colonel?
05:18Well, now look.
05:19Every Saturday morning, Sister Sue and Maggie Bell go to the beauty parlor.
05:23I thought we'd hide out, watch the apartment,
05:26and as soon as they go, slip in and search the place from top to bottom
05:30and see if we can't find some evidence.
05:33You follow me, Calvin?
05:34Follow you?
05:35Colonel, if we were any closer, we'd be dead.
05:48How long are we going to have to wait?
05:50These cans are empty, but their memory lingers on.
05:54They should be leaving any moment now, Calvin.
06:01Quick, Calvin, here comes somebody.
06:05Ah, how did it do?
06:14Duck quick, Calvin, here he comes.
06:21You all right, Colonel?
06:22Yeah, but those throw-away bottles sure were rough on the head.
06:27This is her room.
06:31Uh-oh, the door is locked.
06:33That proves she is dishonest.
06:35If there's anything I can't stand, it's dishonest people.
06:39Yes, Calvin.
06:40Down in Nashville, the name Claxton was always symbolic with honor,
06:45pride, and Southern nobility.
06:47Yeah, Colonel, your papa was always the perfect gentleman.
06:51I remember when they rode him out of town on a rail.
06:54He tipped his hat to all the ladies as they went by.
07:00Calvin, you search under the bed.
07:03I'm nervous, Colonel.
07:05I know the old rhinoceros is out.
07:07We can't let him out.
07:09We have to find him.
07:11We have to find him.
07:13We have to find him.
07:15I know the old rhinoceros is out.
07:17We can't let him out.
07:19But I don't like prowling around her cage.
07:26Uh-oh.
07:27Wait a minute here.
07:29This door is locked.
07:31Uh-oh, that's a bad sign, Colonel.
07:36Look at all those fancy bracelets.
07:38Yeah, and a string of pearls and rings and expensive-looking brooches.
07:44It proves it, Calvin.
07:46Sister Sue is the polka-dot bandit.
07:48Yeah, it sure looks that way, all right.
07:51She must be one of those schizophrenics.
07:54She got two complete different personalities.
07:58Don't be silly, Calvin.
08:00If that old goat had another personality,
08:02she'd have used it years ago.
08:10Why, Sister Sue,
08:12you mean you have a gentleman friend?
08:15Yes.
08:16He's been taking me out every night of the week.
08:19But why didn't you tell us?
08:21Because every time I had a boyfriend in the past,
08:24that no-good, idiotic, bird-brained, lazy, loafing husband of yours
08:29has stepped in and ruined him.
08:31That's why.
08:32What's he like?
08:33Where did you meet him?
08:35Well, his name is Clarence Shepherd,
08:39and he's sort of old and wealthy.
08:42Oh, Sister Sue, this sounds so romantic.
08:46I'm just dying to meet him.
08:49Well, last night he said he had something important to talk over with me, and I...
08:56Yes, yes.
08:57So I invited him up to the apartment this afternoon for tea.
09:01Oh, I'm so excited.
09:03Well, Montgomery won't be home until evening,
09:06and I'll go shopping so you lovebirds can be all alone.
09:11Of course, it's too bad he's not young and handsome.
09:15Listen, Maggie Bell,
09:17after you have made as many trips as I have on the romance merry-go-round,
09:21you don't wait to grab the brass ring.
09:24You grabs whatever you can,
09:26because, honey, it may be your last time around.
09:37This is terrible, Colonel.
09:39Your sister-in-law turning out to be the polka-dot bandit.
09:42This is serious.
09:44I'd better go home and confront Sister Sue with the truth.
09:47And Calvin, old pal, pal of my childhood days,
09:51I want you to come with me.
09:54I don't know about this, Colonel.
09:56It said in the paper the polka-dot bandit carries a gun.
09:59No, no, you didn't read it right, Calvin.
10:02It said she just simulates a gun.
10:05Oh.
10:06Well, I'll go with you,
10:08but I hope I don't end up with a simulated hole in my head.
10:17Can I get you another cup of tea, Mr. Shepard, honey, sir?
10:22No, no, Susan.
10:24Not Mr. Shepard.
10:26Clarence.
10:27Not Susan.
10:29Suzie.
10:31Suzie.
10:32Clarence.
10:34There's something I want to speak to you about.
10:37Our marriage.
10:39Oh, Clarence.
10:42Yes, I've been so lonely in that big house.
10:45I want you to share it with me.
10:47Oh, Clarence.
10:49When will we set the date?
10:51Well, I thought it'd be sweet if we eloped.
10:54How romantic.
10:57That's funny.
10:59Sister Sue is usually in the kitchen here at this time of day
11:03making a mustard poultice for her back.
11:05Looks like a nice boiled potato in the icebox here.
11:09I hear voices.
11:11Tell me about tonight, Clarence.
11:15All right, Suzie dear.
11:17Now, we want this to work like clockwork.
11:19We'll wait until it's dark,
11:21and then we'll go to bed.
11:23Now, we want this to work like clockwork.
11:25We'll wait until it's dark,
11:27and I'll have the car out back.
11:29The coast is clear.
11:30You signal from the window.
11:32Sister Sue is talking to some guy named Clarence
11:35who's one of the mob.
11:37Yeah, and it sounds like they're planning another job for the night.
11:41Just think, you and I together.
11:44Why, we'll steal the light from the moon,
11:46the sparkle from the stars.
11:49Sounds like they're planning on pulling some pretty big jobs.
11:53Oh, Clarence dear,
11:55we'll be together always.
11:58I can just see us in the big house.
12:03Me cooking your supper,
12:05bringing in your pipe and slippers,
12:08and sitting on your lap in front of the fire.
12:11Boy, they sure do have a wrong slant on that place.
12:15Yeah, they sure do.
12:17Now, how do you think your family is going to take this?
12:20Well, I don't know about that brother-in-law of mine.
12:24I don't want him to interfere.
12:26Oh, Colonel, they're talking about you.
12:28Well, perhaps I'd better have a little talk with him.
12:31Oh, that won't be necessary, Clarence.
12:34I'll make some sort of deal with my sister,
12:36and we'll both take care of him tonight.
12:39Calvin, I've heard enough.
12:42Let's get out of here.
12:46Calvin, this is a mess.
12:48My sister-in-law is the polka dot bandit,
12:51and she's planning somehow to use my own wife
12:54to help knock me off tonight.
12:56Yeah, it sounds like she's planning on
12:59feeding you some homicidal ham hocks all right.
13:02Yeah, I really need some advice on what to do.
13:05I gotta work fast.
13:07Well, there's one consolation, Colonel.
13:09If the old gal does knock you off,
13:12she'll get the chair.
13:15Well, that's no help, Calvin.
13:17And anyway, they could never squeeze
13:19that fat walrus into the hot seat.
13:21They'd have to give her the juice in the Mars chair.
13:28How did it do?
13:30For me, that's my pizza pie.
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