Junior Taskmaster Episode 2 - Would a Bird Fly
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00:00MUSIC
00:02Right, let's go.
00:04Ah!
00:11Can you take this to my head?
00:13Er...
00:15Call plus call.
00:20That was quite pathetic, don't you think?
00:24Ah! Ha-ha-ha!
00:26APPLAUSE
00:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:34Hello, and welcome to Junior Taskmaster.
00:37My name is Rose Matafeo.
00:39Some of you might recognise me from that other Taskmaster show.
00:42Boring!
00:43Some of you may be more familiar
00:45with my 30-year-long career as a professional golfer,
00:48but most of you probably know me as a compulsive liar.
00:51Now, over the series, 25 children will be battling it out
00:55through five heats and two semis
00:57in the hope of reaching the grand final
00:59and winning the thing that every child dreams of.
01:02This right here.
01:04Yes, no, it is not the head of Weird Al Yankovic.
01:07Tonight's winner will be taking home
01:09all of the prize tasks you see this evening.
01:11However, the contestants who come first and second
01:14will both win an illustrious spot in the semi-finals.
01:18Right, let's meet tonight's contestants.
01:20Please welcome...
01:22Saira!
01:24Gwen!
01:26Maisie!
01:28Ollie!
01:30And Zach!
01:34Right, now, a lot of people told me I was making a big mistake
01:38when I decided to hire this man, right?
01:40He's a weird guy, they said.
01:42What's he hiding behind that moustache, they screamed.
01:45I once saw him walk past a mirror and he didn't have a reflection.
01:49They garbled.
01:50Well, all I can say is this.
01:52He was available and he was very cheap.
01:54It's Mike Rothier!
01:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:59Thank you, Rose.
02:01Ultimately, this is a show about the dangers of playing with matches.
02:05In 2009, David Reynolds of Southampton earned a Guinness World Record
02:09for making a model North Sea oil rig using 14 million matches.
02:13It took him 15 years,
02:15during which he could have qualified as an optometrist five times.
02:18So don't play with matches, kids.
02:20It's not just your time you're wasting,
02:22it's that of people waiting for eye tests, potentially.
02:26To reiterate, he was available and very cheap, yeah?
02:30OK, I think it's time for Mike to reveal tonight's prize task.
02:34This week, our contestants have been asked
02:36to bring in the most glamorous object ever.
02:39Rose will give five points to the most glamorous object ever
02:42and at the end of this episode,
02:44the overall winner will have five extraordinarily glamorous objects
02:47to take home with them.
02:48But let's see what our contestants have got for us.
02:51All right, Saira, I would love to start with you.
02:53How are you doing?
02:55I'm doing fine, thank you.
02:56I want you to tell me all about the most glamorous object ever
02:59that you've brought in tonight.
03:01OK, so the most glamorous object ever that I've brought in tonight
03:06is silk napkins.
03:09Ooh!
03:11The height of luxury.
03:13First of all, normal people would just, like, get tissue
03:16or whatever's close to them to wipe their mouth.
03:19But people who can afford napkins,
03:22like these reusable silk napkins, must be really rich.
03:26Is rich the same as being glamorous?
03:28I mean, if you're having fancy dinner parties with those
03:31and origami swans on plates, then yes.
03:34Yeah? I like that.
03:36All righty, Gwen, what have you brought in
03:38for your prize task this evening?
03:40Right, brace yourselves.
03:42A bejeweled toilet seat.
03:44Ooh!
03:46Glamorous. Yes!
03:48Would you say comfortable?
03:50Ah!
03:52I see people wearing high heels.
03:54They don't look comfortable, but they're glamorous.
03:56People have to suffer for glamour.
03:58Oh!
04:00How do you clean that, Gwen?
04:02Well, I would advise some very glamorous wet wipes.
04:05Silk napkins, or...?
04:10OK, lovely stuff, Gwen, thank you so much.
04:12All righty, welcome to the show, Maisie.
04:14How are you?
04:15Er, quite well.
04:16I would love to know what glamorous object
04:18you've brought in for us tonight.
04:20I brought in a gemstone.
04:22OK, what gives...? Why are you so into gemstones, mate?
04:25No idea, but I think...
04:27But I think it's got something to do with the fact
04:30that they are glamorous.
04:32I bought it in a Liverpool shop for £5.
04:35OK?
04:37Do you think it might have any magic in it?
04:39Are you into that kind of thing at all?
04:41Yeah. Um, I have a coven that I started.
04:46Does that make you like a witch or a warlock or something?
04:49Yeah. What?!
04:51How many people are in the coven?
04:54Four. Not including myself.
04:57Do you do good in the coven, or you...?
04:59It depends.
05:03OK, we'll keep an eye on you, Maisie, throughout the show.
05:07Now, Ollie, how are you doing? Good.
05:09What is your most glamorous object you brought in?
05:12I was thinking that a top hat is very glamorous.
05:15Oh, yes. I tried to make it even more glamorous.
05:18How so?
05:20Stick some gems on it.
05:22LAUGHTER
05:24Oh, wow!
05:28Well, Hobbycraft are making a real mint this week
05:31with all the gems flying out the door.
05:34Would you wear this out yourself, Ollie?
05:36No. Why not?
05:38Mike, you could really rock that.
05:40I could. I think I'd pull that off.
05:42You're a drummer, aren't you, Ollie? Yeah.
05:44Would you consider wearing that in a gig?
05:46Probably a single would.
05:48It's a very Slash look, actually. Yeah.
05:50If I put that on, I'd look like Slash, unfortunately.
05:53It's pretty glamorous.
05:55All right. Zac, welcome to the show.
05:57What glamorous object are you bringing to the table?
06:00I have brought in golden Greg sausage rolls.
06:04LAUGHTER
06:06APPLAUSE
06:11OK.
06:13Zac, you're going to have to talk me through this one.
06:16OK. Since Greg's is, like, the fanciest British food chain...
06:21LAUGHTER
06:23Is that right? Would you guys agree with that?
06:25Greg's is the fanciest British food chain? No.
06:27Especially that donut. I love donuts.
06:29No. I don't even think it's a food chain.
06:32As you can see, it has a top hat, cos top hats are fancy.
06:35It's been proven by Ollie.
06:38And it has googly eyes, cos nothing's better.
06:42That's the only thing you miss.
06:44LAUGHTER
06:46Fair enough.
06:49OK. I'm going to go with one point for Maisie for the gemstone.
06:53Saira, two points for the silk napkins.
06:55I know there was technically more gemstones on it,
06:58but, Ollie, I'm going to give you three points,
07:00because I love the juxtaposition of a toilet seat and jewels.
07:03It's four points to Gwen,
07:05and, obviously, the Millionaire's Buffet there.
07:07I got it, yeah. It's five points to Gwen.
07:09Five points to Gwen.
07:14OK. It is time for the first task of the night.
07:18Or, as they like to say in France,
07:20le tasque premier.
07:22Comme dit, bonsoir.
07:24Task? Task.
07:26Task. So, lots of people assume middle-aged men like me
07:29are unable to nurture friendships and don't have any proper chums.
07:33To prove them wrong, I got my mate Mark involved
07:36with this next coffee-based task,
07:38so those people can just froth off.
07:55Hi.
07:56Hello, Zak.
07:58Hello, Mike. Hello, Maisie.
08:00How are you? Good, thanks. Hello.
08:02Are you ready? Raring to go? Yeah.
08:04Full of beans? Yeah. Shall we do it? Yeah.
08:06Hello, Colonel Wozniak.
08:08Hello, Gwen. I like this Colonel Wozniak thing.
08:10What makes you think of me as a colonel?
08:13Because colonels have moustaches.
08:15OK. And because of my gravitas, perhaps, as well?
08:18No.
08:20Hello, Sarah.
08:22Oh. What do you make of all this?
08:24I don't like coffee.
08:28Certainly.
08:29Can you safely deliver Mike's mate Mark a medium mocha?
08:33You cannot walk on the grass.
08:35The first delivered cup wins.
08:37You have 15 minutes. Your time starts now.
08:40Right, so I'm thinking that guy over there's Mark.
08:42That's Mark, all right.
08:44Some people say he's, um, something of a snappy dresser.
08:49Mm. Agree to disagree.
08:53What's a medium mocha?
08:55Well, it's in between a small mocha and a large mocha.
08:58What's a mocha?
09:00A mocha is a type of coffee.
09:02How do I make it?
09:03All the information's on the task.
09:11So, uh, none of you, uh,
09:13none of you done any part-time work at a cafe, eh?
09:15No.
09:16I've done window cleaning. Have you?
09:18And cleaning mirrors. Really?
09:20Yeah, I'm really good. I've made, like, some pretty good money off it.
09:23Gwen, yes?
09:24I guess you could say my home is like a cafe.
09:26I'm always making tea for my parents. Always.
09:29Really? OK, how do they take the tea?
09:31Medium brew.
09:33Is this paid work? Are you getting anything back for this?
09:36Sadly, no. It's child labour.
09:40I'm ready for a caffeine hit. Mike, who have we got?
09:42OK, first up, we have Gwen and Maisie.
09:46Made a mocha before?
09:48No.
09:50Why does Mark want a coffee? Does he just want a coffee?
09:53He didn't get much sleep last night.
09:55He's had quite an intense life.
09:57OK.
09:59Not going to ask.
10:02Oh!
10:04Right, there we go.
10:06Is it optional to bring one of those two, Mark?
10:09All the information's in the task.
10:11I hate the way you keep saying that.
10:13Is that what you've been paid to do?
10:21Can I have a look in the shed, please?
10:25I'm going to need this and this, just in case.
10:28It says I can't walk on the grass.
10:30Does not say I cannot walk on rolls of paper over the grass.
10:34I'm making a path, so I don't have to walk on the grass.
10:38Wait a minute.
10:40Does not say...
10:43..I can't hop on the grass.
10:50Ha, ha, ha.
10:52How's it going?
10:54Cold coffee.
10:56Oh, poor Mark.
10:58What does he expect?
11:06Hey, it's a mocker.
11:08He never said it had to be hot.
11:11OK, do I have to get back?
11:13You've got seven minutes left.
11:15Ooh, OK.
11:16Oh! Oh!
11:18You cannot walk on the grass.
11:20No.
11:21Can I run on the grass?
11:24Is that running, is it?
11:26Yes, it's running.
11:35There you go, Mark.
11:43Are you going to leave him the biscuit?
11:45I've left him that biscuit and I'm going to eat this one.
11:48Did you get me a biscuit?
11:50Do you want a biscuit?
11:52I offered a biscuit.
11:54I'll offer you a biscuit then.
11:56Just...
11:58Hopping all the way back.
12:02Want to like a biscuit, Mike?
12:04No, thank you.
12:12Amazing. You really look like you enjoyed that biscuit.
12:15Yeah, it was a good biscuit.
12:17Did you just come on Junior Taskmaster for the free food?
12:19I prefer not to be asked that question.
12:23You both had very similar ideas at the beginning, right?
12:25You were straight to the shed, straight with the wrapping paper.
12:28Gwen, it didn't work out for you, though, did it?
12:30No.
12:32How quickly did you give up on that one?
12:34After they blew away in the wind.
12:36Yeah, not great.
12:38Gwen was the only person I think who made eye contact with Mark
12:40and gave him a smile, so service-wise...
12:42But equally, she did also smash a glass cafeteria on his right foot.
12:46So it's very much swings and roundabouts.
12:48There's the whole debate over the hop versus...
12:50Was that a mini-walk? Was that a tiny hop that we saw?
12:53I would say it was a mini-hop.
12:55You said walk on the grass.
12:57Some people might argue that I was standing still on the grass.
13:01Some people might argue that I was mini-hopping.
13:03Wow, very compelling tone of voice.
13:05I don't know if any of it made sense.
13:07Yeah, but you've got to be careful when negotiating these points
13:10with a member of a coven, haven't you?
13:13Yeah. Yeah, right.
13:16Did you just say, yeah, right? Oh, wow.
13:18I'm getting a stare-down as well. Yeah.
13:21OK.
13:23I think it is time for a break.
13:25We're going to have a break,
13:26and as part of your Junior Taskmaster subscription,
13:28each week we include a hand-picked selection box
13:31of artisanal, organic, gourmet advertisements
13:33for your viewing pleasure.
13:35So, enjoy.
13:37APPLAUSE
13:49Welcome back to Junior Taskmaster.
13:51Michael, I would like to see more children
13:54taking mockers to Mark immediately, please.
13:57Here you are.
14:00I want to know what this does. Mm-hm.
14:02Oh, no, don't do that.
14:04Oh, recipes.
14:06Espresso, hot chocolate and frosty milk.
14:10So, what's the mocker?
14:12Probably coffee, I'm assuming.
14:14Oh, that looks nice.
14:16I think that's cocoa.
14:18I'm pretty sure it's edible, though.
14:20That's the main thing.
14:22Well, you don't want to poison Mark, do you?
14:24Oh, gosh, this isn't working, is it?
14:27It's leaking everywhere.
14:28Would you serve that in a cafe?
14:30Yeah. OK.
14:31I mean, I would drink it.
14:33Why do I have to deliver it, too?
14:35To my mate Mark.
14:36It's not Mark.
14:37Of course that's Mark.
14:39It looks like he needs a coffee. Yeah.
14:42Let's go to the shed.
14:46He doesn't look like a good man, maybe a criminal.
14:49That's my best friend Mark you're talking about.
14:52I'm getting these bricks.
14:54What are you going to do with them?
14:56Those little platforms.
14:59I'm just going to use this and this.
15:04I'm using them as stepping stones.
15:09Did I ever tell you the story of how Mark and I met?
15:12How?
15:13I was backing dancers for Shakira's 2009 She-Wolf tour.
15:17Shakira? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
15:19So, basically, he and I were working together
15:21on a sort of haddock trawler ship. Yeah.
15:23I was the boat and he was just a figurehead back then.
15:25He saved my life. Did he?
15:27Yeah.
15:28Mermonkey tried to drag me under. Did it?
15:30I got snagged on his left elbow.
15:33Stopped me from drowning.
15:35Long story short,
15:37he saved my life in Vegas.
15:39How?
15:41I'm not sure I can tell you until you're 18.
15:43Oh.
15:47You've got 38 seconds left. Oh, God!
15:50Just look at the eyes.
15:52It makes him look desperate. Desperate. Sad.
15:54Sad.
15:55He has no-one to love him.
15:57He's got me.
15:58See you on, Mark.
16:04Is it go time?
16:06It's time.
16:12HE BREATHES HEAVILY
16:21Here you go.
16:23WHISTLE BLOWS
16:25Thanks, Zac.
16:29Wow.
16:31Gold as brass.
16:33Zac, how does it feel?
16:35I'm pretty sure my IQ just dropped.
16:37LAUGHTER
16:39The drink that you got to Mark in the end
16:41looked a tiny bit more appetising,
16:43as opposed to what Saira put together.
16:46You said in there you would drink it yourself.
16:49Looking back...
16:51LAUGHTER
16:53..I think, no.
16:54Not at all. No. Put off by the mocker.
16:56You were kind of really laying into Mark there.
16:59Yep. Sad, desperate eyes.
17:03Can you read a lot from a person's eyes?
17:06But what can you read from my eyes?
17:11Not much.
17:13What's going on?
17:14Knowing your life.
17:16That's actually quite a good skill.
17:20All righty, from my calculations,
17:22we've got one person to see now,
17:24and it is Ollie, and I'm excited.
17:26As you should be, Rose. Let's take a look at this.
17:29Big coffee guy?
17:31No.
17:33Espresso, hot chocolate and frothy milk.
17:35How much sugar do you want?
17:39Shed.
17:42Got a lot of roll here.
17:44Some roll there.
17:46I got so much roll!
17:59Ah!
18:04Ah!
18:05Bit windy, isn't it?
18:07Yes.
18:09Stay on there. Stay there.
18:13Oh, no, I forgot the mocker!
18:15No!
18:17Ah!
18:19Back to the shed.
18:23Going to put this...
18:25..on there. Yeah.
18:29Oh!
18:31Well, I guess not.
18:38There.
18:41There.
18:50Crunch time probably lasts 30 seconds or so, Ollie.
18:56BUZZER
18:58BUZZER
19:00BUZZER
19:05BUZZER
19:07BUZZER
19:12Interesting.
19:16Here you go.
19:17WHISTLE
19:18WHISTLE
19:26Thanks, Ollie.
19:29Oh, man!
19:30I have to say, that was some of the most stressful television
19:34I have ever watched, Ollie.
19:36I...think that I...
19:41..did well and didn't.
19:45How was it to watch, Mike?
19:47Well, I think you came up with roughly 8,000 different ideas.
19:54Half of them didn't work.
19:56What were you doing, Maisie? You had a great idea there.
19:59No, I was just breathing deeply
20:01cos I was stressed by what just happened.
20:06Honestly, a stressful watch for every one of you for that.
20:09This task is all about the fullest cup, isn't it, Mike?
20:12Yes, and Mark did get five mockers.
20:14Zach managed 80ml, Maisie 110ml,
20:17Ollie got 150ml in the end,
20:19Saira 160ml,
20:21Gwen just 10ml shy of the maximum with 227ml.
20:26APPLAUSE
20:28Fantastic.
20:31Right, points-wise...
20:33Yeah, points-wise, I mean, it's up to you how you deal
20:35with the grass-based infractions.
20:37The grass-based infractions, right.
20:39Well, I know, Zach and Ollie, there was very clear infringement.
20:42So, you both get one point for that, three points for Maisie,
20:45cos I don't want you to hicks me.
20:49Saira, I'm going to give you four points, but obviously, Gwen,
20:51I'm going to give you the full five points for that task.
20:53Well done.
20:57All righty, I want to see how that really affected the scoreboard.
21:00OK, OK, well, it is tight.
21:02At the back of the pack, we've got Ollie and Maisie, both on four,
21:05then Zach and Saira, both on six.
21:07In the lead currently is Gwen with nine points.
21:13OK, Mike, what weird and wonderful place are you taking us next?
21:17Bessie Coleman, Patti Wagstaff, Iulma of Malmesbury.
21:21All examples of...
21:24..aviation pioneers. Thank you, children.
21:28But their time has been gone.
21:29Now is the time for these five contestants to show us
21:32who is the new conqueror of the skies.
21:35MUSIC PLAYS
21:42MUSIC STOPS
21:48Hi, Zach. Hi.
21:50Ollie. Hello.
21:52Hello, Gwen. Hello.
21:53Saira. Hello.
21:55Hello, Maisie. Hello.
21:56How are you? Good, thanks.
21:58Why are they all yellow?
22:02Intriguing. Yeah.
22:05Let's get straight to business.
22:07Make a paper aeroplane out of one of these things.
22:10Use the paper you touch first.
22:12You may not cut or tear a piece of paper.
22:15Your paper aeroplane must look like a paper aeroplane.
22:18Once your paper aeroplane is complete,
22:20you have one attempt to launch it from the departure window.
22:23Furthest flight wins. You have ten minutes.
22:25Your time starts now.
22:28It says that I must use the piece of paper I touch first.
22:32So that's the one, is it?
22:36Oh!
22:40APPLAUSE
22:44Oh, wow.
22:46The old toilet roll hole in the piece of paper trick, eh?
22:50I've never heard of that trick.
22:52Come on, it's a classic!
22:56Yeah, if I got this right, this is all about making a paper aeroplane.
22:59First piece of paper you touch. Mm-hm.
23:01And that's the thing you need to make it out of.
23:03I would love to see how everyone got on with this.
23:05I'll show you. Here we go.
23:08What's going on in that head of yours?
23:10I've already touched it, so I'm... You've gone for it.
23:13You've made the choice.
23:14This is the paper I touch first.
23:16Is that a mistake?
23:18All the information's in the task.
23:20You must use the paper you touch first. Well, that's annoying.
23:23Yes, I'm choosing the tiny one.
23:26I have no idea how to make a paper aeroplane.
23:30Oh, no.
23:32Oh.
23:34Great.
23:37Got to suck your hole cut in it.
23:39Is that useful or not useful?
23:41It actually could be useful.
23:45What are you thinking?
23:46This is going to be a very bad paper aeroplane.
23:49How's it going? Terribly.
23:51Mm-hm. If you didn't notice.
23:53Are you good at making paper aeroplanes?
23:55No. I always seem to do the wings wrong.
23:58Are the wings important?
23:59Without wings, would a plane fly?
24:02Would a bird fly?
24:04What do you think?
24:05No.
24:14That's bad.
24:17It's very much more than the stealth fighter, is it, Ben?
24:20Sure. Yeah.
24:21Done? Yeah.
24:23Happy? No, I'm not happy.
24:25I think it's done.
24:26Actually, no, not yet.
24:28What does it need?
24:29Nothing. I just thought it was a bit too quick to say it's done.
24:33OK.
24:34Got my paper aeroplane.
24:36Let's go yeet it from the window.
24:38So, the departure window? Let's go!
24:42I hate this door.
24:46That's nice.
24:48Now, Saira, you seemed a little disappointed at the start,
24:51where you were like,
24:52oh, no, this is the first piece of paper I touched.
24:54But now are you kind of thinking maybe it was kind of a good idea?
24:57Yeah. Yeah.
24:58How do you feel watching that back now?
25:00Um, smart.
25:03And so you should.
25:05And so you should.
25:07So, at one point, let's go yeet it from the window.
25:10Yeah!
25:11I would love it if that's how pilots spoke.
25:14Let's yeet this plane to 33,000 feet.
25:17I mean, you guys did well, you know,
25:19using a piece of paper with a hole in it.
25:21I'd say they seemed to have responded at times,
25:23but, I mean, Maisie, what does it say on your shirt tonight?
25:25It says, we can do anything.
25:27There we go.
25:28Including making a paper aeroplane with a hole-y piece of paper, right?
25:32It depends on if you watch the next clip or not.
25:40Ooh, I'll tell you what I fancy.
25:42A lovely little advert break.
25:44There's nothing quite like it. See you soon.
25:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
26:00Welcome back to Junior Taskmaster,
26:02the show where everything's made up, but the points don't matter!
26:05Sorry, actually, that's wrong. That is a different show.
26:07In this show, everything is meticulously planned
26:09and the points matter a heck of a lot.
26:11Speaking of meticulous planning,
26:13let's see how these paper aeroplanes went down.
26:16Or up, maybe.
26:18No, down. Straight down.
26:20Here we go.
26:27Ollie, are you ready?
26:29Yes.
26:30Zak?
26:31Yes.
26:32Sarah?
26:33Yeah?
26:34Have you secured the buffet trolley?
26:35Yep.
26:36Gwen?
26:37Check the oil and water?
26:39Yeah.
26:40Maisie?
26:42Lightsaber toys.
26:45You look very fetching in your jacket.
26:48I really appreciate that, Maisie.
26:50It means a lot to me.
26:52Prepare for launch.
26:54On my mark...
26:58Three...
27:00Two...
27:03One...
27:06Shocks away!
27:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
27:15It's right there.
27:17It's not even made, it's just the stones on the shed.
27:23Oh, no!
27:24Oh!
27:26CHOIR SING
27:31Oh!
27:42Oh!
27:46Oh!
27:49Oh.
27:50Thanks, Gwen.
27:51You're welcome. Bye.
27:52Bye.
27:59Ollie, I mean, I've got to say, that face of absolute despair.
28:05And you know what?
28:06Well, Ollie, I don't think you did as terribly
28:08as you probably felt in that moment.
28:10After watching that back, what do you feel now?
28:12I would have probably chose the small one.
28:14Ah, you would have chosen a different piece of paper.
28:16Yeah.
28:17It was very varied results.
28:18I think it was a bit of overkill to dress as a traffic controller there, Mike.
28:22Well, you get an outfit for your birthday
28:25and you find it hard to work out when you can deploy it.
28:28It was my time.
28:29Who got that for you?
28:31No, I won't go into that.
28:33Now, Gwen, how do you feel watching that back?
28:36It was... You did a good throw there.
28:38It was traumatising.
28:40It got out the window, that's all I can say.
28:42Everyone got out the window, and that is saying...
28:44Nothing flew back in.
28:45No.
28:47I only have one thing.
28:48Uh-huh.
28:49The task did not look like paper when we were doing it.
28:52It was card.
28:53OK. OK, interesting.
28:54So, since in the task it said,
28:56the first piece of paper,
28:58technically, since the task is card, that wouldn't count.
29:02Yes, but also, technically,
29:03a holey piece of paper wouldn't count either.
29:06So, I... Is it O?
29:09I can't believe I'm arguing with a child right now.
29:12All right.
29:13So, this is the question on everyone's lips.
29:15How far did those planes go, Mike?
29:17I do have the measurements here.
29:18So, I'm afraid, languishing at the bottom was Gwen,
29:21with her microplane, which went 82.5cm.
29:25Saira'd make 2m43cm.
29:27Zak, 3m52cm.
29:30Maisie, a whopping 4m27cm.
29:33And Ollie, despite being very down on himself,
29:366m31cm.
29:42OK, so, one point to Gwen for the microplane,
29:45two points to Saira,
29:46three points to Zak,
29:48four points to Maisie,
29:49but the full five points goes to Ollie.
29:52Even with that face of despair!
29:57Oh!
29:58Can I tell you what I'm in the mood for, Mike?
30:01I would be honoured if you did.
30:02Oh, another task, thanks.
30:04Well, the next task involves arguably humanity's greatest invention
30:08and presumably the object which inspired the wheel.
30:11I mean, of course, the humble digestive biscuit.
30:14Oh, not this, please!
30:27Hello. Hello, Saira.
30:29Hello, Ollie.
30:30Hello, Gwen. Hello.
30:31How are you? I'm good, thank you. How are you?
30:34I'm very well, thank you.
30:35Hello, Maisie. Hello, Zak.
30:37Hi.
30:38Take a seat.
30:40Would you like to do a bit of small talk before we kick off
30:43or do you just want to crack on with the task?
30:45Oh, let's just get on with the task.
30:47I'm going to take the task.
30:48OK.
30:49I can't open it. Oh.
30:51Do I just feel...
30:52I think it's all about brute strength at this stage, Gwen.
30:55Get the most digestive biscuit through a sieve.
30:58You have two minutes to plan and six minutes to complete the task.
31:01Your time starts now.
31:03Crush the biscuits.
31:07That's your plan?
31:08I feel like crumbling it. OK.
31:10I guess I'll just crush it, I'm assuming.
31:13I could take them outside and drop a rock on them.
31:17They're all digestives. OK.
31:20Erm...
31:23It's going to take forever, isn't it?
31:25It might do.
31:28APPLAUSE
31:33None of you seem to want to make small talk with Mike.
31:37Why is that?
31:38Who can blame us?
31:41Gosh, Mike, they're rather suspicious of you, aren't they?
31:43I know, it's watering stuff, isn't it?
31:45A rock.
31:47Talk us through that, Zak. What do you think?
31:49Well, the first thing that came into my head was, like, pressure,
31:52so just drop thing on thing,
31:55weep a thing, go boom.
31:58Are there other problems that can be solved by dropping a rock on them?
32:01Er, yeah.
32:04Enemies.
32:07I think at the very end, Maisie did say,
32:09this is going to take forever, isn't it?
32:12I would love to see if it did, Mike.
32:14Well, let's find out.
32:15Here is Syrah and here is Maisie.
32:20How many do you think there are?
32:23About 127.
32:25How many are you going to try and get through, do you think?
32:2827.
32:30Oh, my God, these are harder to crush than I thought.
32:33Oh, gosh.
32:34What's your target? What are you aiming for?
32:36Two.
32:37Two?
32:38I don't know, is that a lot?
32:40The vaulting ambition of youth.
32:43How many do you think you've crushed through so far?
32:46Less than one.
32:49Oh, I do like digestives.
32:52Mm-hm. Is that your favourite kind of biscuit?
32:54I don't think they're dead.
32:58That's quite sinister.
33:00Well, let's just say, if you eat it, it's dead.
33:04Well, it's not dead.
33:09You know what? I'm going to try a different...
33:13..crushing several biscuits with my fist at the same time.
33:16I do do martial arts class.
33:18Do you? Yes.
33:20What do you do?
33:21I do jiu-jitsu. It's Japanese.
33:24How far could you throw me, do you think?
33:2830, 40 centimetres.
33:30OK, that's quite good, I think.
33:32Nine seconds left.
33:34Oh, gosh, it's all spilling out the sieve.
33:36This is part of the sieve. Can I just do that?
33:40Get it through the sieve.
33:42WHISTLE BLOWS
33:43Thank you, Maisie.
33:45Do you know where I can wash my hands?
33:48I do, yes. Yes, OK.
33:51There's a lot of biscuits that are not quite dead yet.
33:55A haunting idea to finish with.
33:57Did any of the biscuits scream on the way through?
34:00WHISTLE BLOWS
34:01Yeah, I guess.
34:09You kept your expectations low, both of you.
34:11Saira, you only wanted to get two biscuits through there?
34:14Right at the end, you had a different idea.
34:16Well, I was noticing that they were all falling out of the sieve,
34:19and it was just annoying me, but I was like,
34:21well, you can't even tell what fell out.
34:23And then it tipped through the little bit in the handle,
34:26and I was like, oh, actually, that's still through the sieve.
34:30It was a beautiful little idea, but there was just simply no time.
34:33No, no time.
34:34You keep referring to the biscuits being dead?
34:37Um, well, if you are still in one piece, then I guess you're alive.
34:42Ah, right, so a biscuit in one piece is an alive biscuit.
34:45That's terrifying. Enough.
34:47Either way, the biscuits, as far as you were concerned, were dead.
34:51LAUGHTER
34:52Very philosophical, Saira. Amazing.
34:54I understand that you're something of a philosopher as well, haven't you?
34:57Yeah, so imagine that there's this overlord being called, say, Bob.
35:04Mm-hm.
35:06Can Bob create a stone that he can't lift?
35:09If he can create the stone and he can't lift it,
35:11that's something Bob can't do.
35:13If he can't create the stone, then that's another thing he can't do.
35:18So it's impossible for people to actually be able to do anything.
35:22Oh, so that's a sarcastic T-shirt.
35:27And you've just been hit with a God paradox from a witch.
35:36Who's next?
35:37OK, well, here are Zak and Ollie.
35:40It's a go to the shed.
35:42Yeah.
35:44HE GROANS
35:48What's that?
35:49Ham on.
35:50Possibly a steak tenderiser?
35:52Yeah, it looks like a tenderiser. Yeah.
35:54Ooh. This could work. Yeah.
35:56It's a blender. A blender. We're blending, are we?
35:59Shall I operate it so you don't chop your hands off?
36:01Yes.
36:02Can you carry this for me? Certainly.
36:04Thanks. Right, where do you want this, Zak?
36:07There.
36:09OK, tell me what you're doing.
36:11I'm going to break these biscuits.
36:17Put as many digesters as we can in there. Yep.
36:32A few more digesters to put in there.
36:34OK.
36:36So you're tenderising the biscuits.
36:38Yeah, and you pound them.
36:41Yeah.
36:43I'll put those in there.
36:51Ten seconds left.
36:52Yeah, put that in there.
36:56WHISTLE BLOWS
36:58I stopped. Thank you, Ollie.
37:00WHISTLE BLOWS Thank you, Zak.
37:02OK.
37:03Shall I tidy that up?
37:05If you want to.
37:07Bye.
37:08Bye.
37:09Bye.
37:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
37:13Wow.
37:15Really impressive.
37:16OK.
37:17Very similar ideas, but different execution.
37:20Why immediately the shed for both of you?
37:22Well, probably because it has useful tools.
37:25I was looking more for, like, a sledgehammer...
37:27Right. ..or chainsaw.
37:30It's strange that they aren't stocked, isn't it,
37:32because I was planning it on June,
37:34because I was going to think about that for next time.
37:37Ollie, the blender did work.
37:38I think making a dry smoothie out of digestives,
37:40I think that would be a nightmare, to be honest.
37:42It could be hard to, um, digest.
37:45Absolutely.
37:46Even though it's called a digestive.
37:48Very good point.
37:49The anti-digestive drink.
37:52I think you both did very well there.
37:54I'm excited to see the results,
37:55but it is time for a short break now.
37:57Hmm.
37:58Ooh, wait.
37:59What are you doing?
38:00Having a little bit of me time.
38:05Wow.
38:18Welcome back to the final part of the show.
38:20Look, we're nearly there, so behave.
38:22I said behave.
38:23Leave your little sister alone, or so help me,
38:25I'll turn the show around and drive us right back to the start.
38:29Where do we leave off, Mike?
38:30Well, we've got one person left to see on this task,
38:33and it is...
38:34Gwen.
38:35Right, so, the obvious choice is to mush up the biscuits.
38:43Get the most digestive biscuits to the sieve.
38:45Can I go to the shed?
38:46Certainly.
38:50So, what are we hoping to find in the shed, Gwen?
38:52I think I'm going to need this and this.
38:56Elastic bands and scissors?
38:57Yes.
38:58Hmm.
38:59That's interesting.
39:02OK, what's your plan, Gwen?
39:04My plan? Yes.
39:05We don't need these elastic bands.
39:07Oh.
39:08I am going to label this sieve and push the biscuits through it.
39:13Creating a new sieve.
39:16How many biscuits do you reckon you could get?
39:18Two stacks, maybe?
39:21I'm not competitive in sport, but maybe in other things.
39:25I like to find loopholes.
39:29Oh.
39:31Biscuit after biscuit after biscuit.
39:35WHISTLE BLOWS
39:37APPLAUSE
39:40Thank you, Gwen.
39:41Cheerio.
39:42Bye. Bye.
39:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
39:49Oh!
39:51Very, very clever.
39:53Now, it could be very mean.
39:54I mean, it's hard to decide whether or not this is just ingenuity
39:57or a very cowardly loophole.
40:00It didn't necessarily say it couldn't be a plastic bag labelled sieve.
40:04Oh, so that... It just said, a sieve.
40:06It could be that plastic bag's name is sieve.
40:09Yeah.
40:10It could have been a man called Andrew Sieve, for example.
40:13Yeah.
40:14It doesn't have a birth certificate, but I call it sieve.
40:17It's quite a strong argument.
40:18It is quite a strong argument.
40:20If you label something, something else, it's not that thing.
40:25She labelled a piece of tape, sieve,
40:28and put it through an elastic band wrapper thing.
40:32That's not a sieve.
40:34That's an elastic band wrapper thing.
40:36I would argue that the tape that she actually wrote it on
40:40would be the sieve, and she didn't write the tape.
40:42Yeah.
40:43OK, now we're getting into semantics now.
40:45This is just getting, honestly...
40:47No, you guys, honestly, you sound like Reddit,
40:49so I'm not going to get into that.
40:52I would love to just hear from Mike
40:54how many biscuits they did all get through the sieve.
40:56OK. Calculated by weight.
40:58Maisie got 0.44 biscuits.
41:01Sarah got 4.44.
41:04Ollie managed 5.5.
41:06Zach, 8.3.
41:07Gwen, a fairly whopping 85 biscuits.
41:12Right. OK. All right.
41:14APPLAUSE
41:16So, what am I going to do?
41:19Am I going to be evil?
41:20Am I going to be nice?
41:22Your hair looks amazing!
41:24Oh, no! OK, fine, fine, fine.
41:26One point for Maisie.
41:27It's two points for Sarah.
41:28Ollie, three points.
41:30Four points for Zach.
41:31It's five points for Gwen.
41:32APPLAUSE
41:34She said so, didn't she?
41:36OK.
41:38What has that done to the rankings there, Mike?
41:40It's made it devilish close.
41:42We've got Maisie on nine, Sarah on ten,
41:44Ollie on 12, Zach on 13 and Gwen on 15 points.
41:48APPLAUSE
41:50OK.
41:51I want you to build an excellent scallywag
41:53to make your way over to the stage for the final task of the show.
41:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:04Ah, hello.
42:07Hi, Mike. Hi.
42:08Who will be reading the task tonight?
42:10Gwen, please.
42:11Oh, yeah. If I can open it.
42:13LAUGHTER
42:18Do you want a hand? Yes, please.
42:20LAUGHTER
42:22Sorry.
42:24Right.
42:29Here we go, Gwen.
42:30Write the names of all of your colours in different colours.
42:33You must not write the name of a colour in that colour
42:36or use the same colour twice.
42:38Every word must be legible and you must not remove your gloves.
42:41Most correct words in the correct colours wins.
42:45You have 100 seconds.
42:47So you've got to write the names of all of those colours
42:49but you're not allowed to write the name of that colour in its colour.
42:53OK, no lids are to come off until the whistle is blown.
42:56Don't worry about the creeping sense of dread, that's normal.
42:59LAUGHTER
43:01Your time starts...
43:03WHISTLE BLOWS
43:05..now.
43:09OK.
43:10Oh.
43:14Get those lids off.
43:17It's a different colour to the lid.
43:19Amazingly, I've unearthed some skullduggery.
43:23Hey, what was the lid?
43:26Do we have to put the lids back on?
43:28I wouldn't bother with that, Maisie. You've had 30 seconds already.
43:31Oh.
43:32OK.
43:38This is like Art Attack Freddy Krueger vibes here.
43:43Come on, guys. You can do it.
43:47APPLAUSE
43:53Ten seconds.
43:58WHISTLE BLOWS
44:01All right. Please step away from your pads.
44:03OK, OK.
44:05Rose, would you like to...?
44:07I would like to see the results of this dastardly task, yes.
44:10Saira.
44:12Hey, pretty good.
44:14Not half bad.
44:17Gwen.
44:18Gwen.
44:19Again, recognisable, legible words, I would say.
44:23And here is Maisie's offering.
44:25Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah.
44:27Nothing to be sniffed out there.
44:30And I would say commendable.
44:32Some clear, legible words, soft colours.
44:34I can see some words in there.
44:38Here we go, Rose. We've got the back top on as well.
44:42It looks pretty close, Mike.
44:45Let's go down here and we'll see how that's affected the final scores.
44:48CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:55Mike, be a pal and talk me through that task.
44:57Fine work from everybody.
44:59But in terms of actual numbers of words in different colours,
45:03Maisie got four, Olly five, Zach seven,
45:06Saira and Gwen drew with eight.
45:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:11So, points-wise, that means Maisie gets one point,
45:15Olly two, Zach three and Saira and Gwen both get five points.
45:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:22Mike, can you please tell me the final scores?
45:25We are at the very height of exhilaration
45:27because the runner-up and the winner
45:29will be going through to the semis
45:31and we are dangerously close to finding out who they are.
45:33Are you ready, Rose? You bet your bottom dollar I am.
45:35Then assume the position.
45:38Perfect.
45:39I can tell you.
45:40In fifth place, with ten points, we have Maisie.
45:44Give her a hand.
45:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:50With 14 points in fourth place is Olly.
45:53Well done, Olly.
45:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:58With 15 points in third place is Saira.
46:01Well done, Saira.
46:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:05With 16 points in second place,
46:08and therefore through to the semis, it is Zach.
46:11Let's go!
46:13Which means...
46:15Tonight's winner is Gwen!
46:17CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:20Go on up and collect your glamorous objects.
46:26Right, wow, that's it for another week.
46:29If you enjoyed the show, please leave a review on TripAdvisor.
46:32And let's hear it for all our contestants tonight.
46:34And, of course, our winner, Gwen!
46:36Good night!
46:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE