“What kind of upbringing will she provide without the child’s father?!” Anmol Chaudhary faced social stigma as she took on the role of a single mother. She recounted her challenges and triumphs to Brut.
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00:00Even now, a lot of people do not understand what is it being an unmarried single mom.
00:05People are so inhuman, so insensitive.
00:08They start talking s*** about my baby.
00:10Sex kar ke bachha kar liya, how responsible, bina bachche ka baap, kaisa hi parbiraj degi.
00:15This baby has turned my life upside down 360 ways.
00:19He taught me love, compassion and kindness.
00:22That everything can be won with compassion.
00:24When I came to know that I was pregnant,
00:30keeping Jace was not the first decision that I had in my mind
00:34because I was not financially stable and I was unmarried.
00:37I knew that the society where we stay in, unmarried single mom,
00:42even now a lot of people do not understand what is it being an unmarried single mom.
00:55I am not an unmarried single mom.
00:57I am not an unmarried single mom.
00:59I am not an unmarried single mom.
01:01I am not an unmarried single mom.
01:03I am not an unmarried single mom.
01:05I am not an unmarried single mom.
01:07I am not an unmarried single mom.
01:09I am not an unmarried single mom.
01:11I am not an unmarried single mom.
01:13I am not an unmarried single mom.
01:15I am not an unmarried single mom.
01:17I am not an unmarried single mom.
01:19I am not an unmarried single mom.
01:21I am not an unmarried single mom.
01:23I am not an unmarried single mom.
01:25I am not an unmarried single mom.
01:27I am not an unmarried single mom.
01:29I am not an unmarried single mom.
01:33I created a webpage by the name of secretsupermommy.com
01:37where I wrote all my stories and whatever pictures and whatever videos
01:41I could upload of my documents.
01:43The day when the campaign went up, when it went online,
01:45we were just praying that even if it costs one lakh rupees, we will be good, you know.
01:49And it will be sorted well, our things will be rented.
01:52At least the delivery will be covered.
01:54Within 3 goddamn days, I raised 6 lakh rupees.
01:58And, like, I used to cry every morning out of gratitude.
02:13Social media is, I mean, it's a wonderful place, right?
02:17But at the same time, it's such a dark place to be.
02:21People are so inhuman, so insensitive.
02:24They started talking s**t about my baby.
02:26Sex karke, bachha kar liya, how responsible.
02:29Bina bachhe ka baap, kaisa hi parviraj degi.
02:32For some well-educated people, I would not name them, but, like,
02:36Acquaintances, like, the thought process they had, they...
02:40I mean, like I said, that it's a taboo.
02:43They just spoke to me in a very weird manner.
02:47Like, what are you gonna do? How will you do it without a partner?
02:50You should find somebody and you should get settled down.
02:52You should get married.
02:53And that used to annoy me so much.
02:55They used to say such horrible things, like,
02:58She's not a capable mother.
03:01She cannot raise a child.
03:02Oh, she doesn't approve.
03:03Just because I had a certain past.
03:05Just because I had a certain lifestyle before my baby.
03:13So, initially, I knew that, okay,
03:16I have to change my diapers.
03:17I have to clean my poop.
03:19I have to do it on time.
03:20So, I was breastfeeding him.
03:21So, initially, starting, I breastfed him for a year, continuously.
03:25So, I knew that, okay, whatever the food, I'll...
03:28My body will be taking care of the food.
03:30So, I don't have to worry about that.
03:31And then maybe do, like, a little massage.
03:33So, initial six months, I did not work.
03:36It was just... I was just devoted to my son.
03:39I remember, I was about to step out for one of my events.
03:42And I had this sudden guilt, like, major guilt.
03:46My son is just seven months.
03:47How am I going to leave him?
03:48Like, what if he misses me?
03:50So, my doctor told me that, Anmol, I'm a doctor.
03:54I go out in the morning.
03:55I come back in the evening.
03:57And so many times, my daughter is asleep.
03:59I'm not able to spend time with her.
04:01But as a mother, you cannot forget that you are a single mother.
04:05So, you cannot forget that you have other responsibilities also.
04:16This baby has turned my life upside down 360 ways.
04:21My son only made it easier for me to deal with my mental health
04:25because he taught me how to be patient.
04:27He taught me love, compassion and kindness.
04:29That everything can be won with compassion.
04:35We'd recently gone to Bombay.
04:38And we had a lot of fun.
04:41We'd recently gone to Bombay for an interview.
04:45And I had some shoulder blade injury.
04:48So, when I came back, I had nobody who I could reach out to
04:52who could take me to the hospital.
04:54I mean, so I was sitting in a corner and I was crying.
04:59Jace came and he wiped my tears and he hugged me.
05:02And, you know, such little, little gestures,
05:07it just means a lot.
05:10One thing that I've realized is babies,
05:12they do not need fancy gifts or fancy clothes or fancy toys.
05:16All they need is your time and your love.
05:19And that is more than enough for them.
05:25To all the single mothers out there who are thinking like me that
05:30am I doing this enough? Am I doing that enough?
05:33Trust me, you're doing more than enough.
05:35More than enough.