You could say that body language is the key to getting to know a stranger. We spend countless hours of our lives talking, and it has caused many of us to lose the skills of listening and observing. It's probably why many of us have trouble when it comes to dating. Finding a connection with someone is actually more than having an engaging conversation and talking the night away. It's about listening and observing what the other person is telling you with their body language. The great poet Rumi once said, "The quieter you become the more you are able to hear." Here are body language traits that attract people the most.
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00:00Body language may just be the key to figuring out what people are thinking and feeling,
00:05so it's super helpful to know what to look for, and what to do, when you're interacting
00:09with your fellow humans.
00:11Here's the body language that attracts people the most, according to the experts.
00:15It's been said that the eyes are the windows to your soul, and body language experts Barbara
00:20and Alan Pease agree.
00:22In their book, The Definitive Book of Body Language, eye contact is the very first step
00:26of the attraction process.
00:28I want to reward you with five minutes of uninterrupted eye contact."
00:31Yay!"
00:33It works like this.
00:35When a person locks eyes with someone they find attractive, they'll hold their gaze for
00:39around five seconds before turning away.
00:41Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:43Pump the brakes there, guy.
00:45The authors claim that once the googly eyes are reciprocated, that gaze process qualifies
00:51as legit flirting.
00:52What are you doing with your face?
00:54You're not blinking whatsoever now.
00:55Behavioral investigator Vanessa Van Edwards says women who are looking to attract a partner
01:00will often expose their necks, telling AM Northwest,
01:03You see this when women flip their hair back, and they show that side of their neck, that's
01:07because they want men to sort of smell their pheromones.
01:10That's a very chemical thing.
01:12Women also typically flaunt their necks by tilting their heads when listening to someone
01:16they're attracted to.
01:17Body language expert Joe Navarro also revealed that the more comfortable two people get around
01:22each other, the more head-tilting and neck-exposing there will be.
01:25Oh my God, stop having a moment.
01:27When it comes to relationships, many people would advise you to listen to your heart.
01:31But it turns out, you should really be following your belly button.
01:34Chris Ulrich, senior instructor at the Body Language Institute, told Glamour,
01:39Your belly button usually faces the person you most like, admire, or trust.
01:43Even if your head is turned towards something or someone else, your belly button is probably
01:47naturally pointing to your crush.
01:49Me sitting over there for the past two hours not being able to take my eyes off of you
01:53is a fact."
01:54According to Barbara and Alan Peace, women typically offer one or more fleeting smiles
01:59when they are attracted to someone.
02:00And guess who that smile works on?
02:03Literally everyone.
02:04Van Edwards revealed in an article for Science of People,
02:07Both males and females find people with available body language the most attractive, smiling,
02:13uncrossed arms, uncrossed legs, and upward gazing, not looking down at your shoes or
02:18phones.
02:19Van Edwards also revealed to the mag that uncrossing your arms is yet another way people
02:23can signal their availability to someone.
02:26And Ulrich agrees, telling Glamour,
02:28Crossed arms can make you seem closed off or disinterested.
02:31You're subconsciously creating a barrier that makes you not as approachable as you want
02:35to be.
02:36But let's be honest, sometimes crossed arms are needed, whether you're cold or don't know
02:40what to do with your hands, or you're Wonder Woman.
02:43Nevertheless, when it comes to attracting people, open arms are the way to go.
02:47If anything, I think you look good to go."
02:50Good to go?
02:51Good to go out and about."
02:55Touch can be important in decoding body language.
02:57Have you ever casually run your fingers over your super-sternal notch?
03:00You probably did it without even thinking about it.
03:03It's located just between your collarbones, and when you touch it, it signals a green
03:07light for a deeper connection.
03:09Van Edwards told AM Northwest,
03:11So that's a signal for a man, okay, we're in intimate territory here.
03:15We should tread carefully, but it could be a good thing because she's sort of opening
03:18up to you."
03:19But it's not just your own neck that you need to touch to attract someone.
03:23The definitive book of body language recommends looking for,
03:26"...an opportunity to initiate a light touch on the arm, either accidental or otherwise."
03:31Ronny, are you okay?"
03:32Oh, yeah!
03:33Yeah, no, no, no."
03:34Are you sure?"
03:35Yeah, don't touch, don't touch."
03:36A touch on the hand, for instance, would be considered a higher level of intimacy than
03:43a light tap on the arm, according to the authors.
03:45And although handshakes don't sound at all intimate, the authors revealed that they're
03:49a quick way to level up to your accidental flirty touches.
03:54Van Edwards revealed the ultimate flirting tell on AM Northwest, saying,
03:58"...so this is when women tilt their head down, look up at a man, and bat their eyelashes.
04:03So this is a classic Marilyn Monroe gesture."
04:07But while Marilyn may have popularized the ultimate move, even Princess Diana employed
04:11similar body language.
04:13Van Edwards explained,
04:14"...she would look up at reporters and bat her eyelashes at them, which is one of the
04:17reasons why the camera loved her."
04:19Thanks to an odd phenomenon dubbed the cheerleader effect, you actually appear more attractive
04:24by just being in a group.
04:26Science says this is because a group's physical attractiveness is greater than the average
04:30attractiveness of its members.
04:32"...hate us cause we're beautiful, well we don't like you either, we're cheerleaders,
04:37we are cheerleaders."
04:38Ulrich says that for maximum cheerleader effect, place yourself in the middle of your squad.
04:44He told Glamour,
04:45"...it's a way of framing yourself.
04:47It literally comes across like you're the center of attention."