The Boston Celtics may be on a roll to open the 2024-25 season, but that doesn't mean there aren't things to nitpick. And what better day than Festivus to air some grievances about the Celtics?
In what has become an annual tradition, the folks at CLNS Media's "Celtics Lab" podcast decided to unleash their inner Frank Costanza and speak the truth. And this year that meant bringing on two special guests, Forbes' Bobby Krivitisky and comedian and lifelong Celtics fan Gary Gulman.
After laying into the Celtics just a bit, the rest of the episode was set aside for grievances about the broader NBA and some musings about life, too. A Festivus for the rest of us indeed.
Celtics Lab is brought to you by Prize Picks and GameTime.
CLNS Media is Powered by:
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In what has become an annual tradition, the folks at CLNS Media's "Celtics Lab" podcast decided to unleash their inner Frank Costanza and speak the truth. And this year that meant bringing on two special guests, Forbes' Bobby Krivitisky and comedian and lifelong Celtics fan Gary Gulman.
After laying into the Celtics just a bit, the rest of the episode was set aside for grievances about the broader NBA and some musings about life, too. A Festivus for the rest of us indeed.
Celtics Lab is brought to you by Prize Picks and GameTime.
CLNS Media is Powered by:
💰 Prize Picks - https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/CLNS
Download the app today and use Code CLNS when you sign up & Get $50 instantly when you play $5!
🎫 Gametime - https://gametime.co
Take the guesswork out of buying NBA tickets with Gametime. Download the Gametime app, create an account, and use code CLNS for $20 off your first purchase. Download Gametime today. Terms apply. What time is it? Gametime!
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SportsTranscript
00:00:00Celtics Lab is brought to you by Price Picks and the Game Time app.
00:00:06All righty, welcome to the Celtics Lab podcast brought to you by Price Picks,
00:00:10the exclusive fantasy basketball partner of the CLNS Media Network,
00:00:14and by Game Time Tickets. Last minute tickets, lowest price guaranteed.
00:00:17What time is it? It's Game Time.
00:00:19I'm your host, Cameron Tubbets-Bye, and I'm recording Sunday, December 22nd
00:00:24to do our news segment, which is what we usually do to open a podcast,
00:00:28and then later in the lab portion of the programming, through the magic of editing,
00:00:32we're going to be whisked away to our Festivus celebration.
00:00:35We had two special guests on. First, Bobby Kravitzky of Forbes
00:00:38came back on the lab to help honor Festivus with us,
00:00:41and for the first time in a long time, comedian Gary Goldman,
00:00:44who we love, big fan of Gary, came on the podcast to also celebrate or honor,
00:00:49whatever the right verb is, Festivus.
00:00:52We had that little celebration on Wednesday of last week,
00:00:56so we didn't know what was going to happen at the Bulls game.
00:00:59We didn't know what was going to happen in the other Bulls game,
00:01:02so if you're wondering why we didn't talk about that in the lab portion of programming,
00:01:05that's how this sausage gets made here. Festivus is a holiday, for people who don't know
00:01:12or maybe forget, a holiday from the show Seinfeld,
00:01:16which is all about airing your grievances, feats of strength.
00:01:20It's a nice secular Festivus for the rest of us, so we aired some grievances.
00:01:25We talked about the things with the Celtics that have been bothering us,
00:01:28the things with the NBA that's been bothering us, and then some life stuff, too.
00:01:32So in a little bit, you'll do that.
00:01:34That's an annual thing we've done for a while now on the podcast.
00:01:36Really like that.
00:01:38But first, like I said, we're going to do the news.
00:01:40We start as often as we can with the news here,
00:01:43and the news is that Alex is on vacation, I think somewhere in the Poconos,
00:01:48and Justin is being a phenomenal member of his family down in Mexico City
00:01:53doing Christmas stuff, and my phenomenal family said,
00:01:56you can have Sunday night to record the news.
00:01:58So it's just Cameron for the news, which means what I say goes,
00:02:03which means I get to weigh in on this stupid Jason Tatum-LeBron controversy
00:02:06I accidentally created.
00:02:09But first, the news of the week is really that the Celtics lost to the Bulls
00:02:14in what can only be described as embarrassing fashion.
00:02:17If you've been paying attention to the zeitgeist lately,
00:02:20everyone's been talking about three-pointers in the NBA,
00:02:23well, wouldn't you know it, the Celtics completely laid an egg against the Bulls
00:02:26the first game back after the NBA Cup.
00:02:28They just couldn't hit a three,
00:02:30one of the worst performances you'll see in a while,
00:02:32and they choked like dogs in the fourth quarter.
00:02:34They were basically playing even with Chicago,
00:02:36and then Chicago opened the fourth quarter 17-4 run,
00:02:40and that's when the wheels came off on a loose ball play.
00:02:43Joe Mazzullo steps on the court.
00:02:45He gets tagged with a technical after the game.
00:02:47He told all of us, I stepped on the court.
00:02:49The ref did his job.
00:02:50I stepped on the court.
00:02:52When he was asked why he yelled at the referees
00:02:55running across the court after the game,
00:02:57he said he just wanted to make sure he wished them a Merry Christmas,
00:03:00and the NBA popped him with a $35,000 fine
00:03:03for running across the court after the game to tell the refs Merry Christmas.
00:03:07Jalen Brown got a tech because Tony Brothers said,
00:03:10if you keep arguing, I'll give you a tech.
00:03:12Jalen kept arguing, so he got a tech.
00:03:15I think I understand both sides of the argument there,
00:03:18and it sounds as if Jason Tatum maybe used his middle finger the wrong way
00:03:22or something because he got a tech later,
00:03:24which is to say the Celtics just fell apart in the fourth quarter emotionally,
00:03:26and the basketball was pretty bad too.
00:03:30Two days later, they're in Chicago,
00:03:32and they beat the brakes off the Bulls.
00:03:34Really no drama in the second half.
00:03:36Jason Tatum leads the way with a 40-15-10,
00:03:39something like that performance.
00:03:40The first 40-point triple-double performance by a Celtic since Larry Bird.
00:03:44I don't know if you've heard of Larry Bird since 1992.
00:03:47That's kind of a big deal.
00:03:48You don't often get to break Celtics records.
00:03:51It's kind of a hard thing to do,
00:03:52and usually when you're being compared to Larry Bird,
00:03:55you've done something right,
00:03:57which leads us to another piece of news, actually,
00:03:59is the ESPN Tim Bontemps MVP straw poll came out.
00:04:04Now, Bontemps has been doing that, I think, this fifth year,
00:04:07maybe something like that.
00:04:09He gets a representative sample, the types of people who will be voters.
00:04:11He said on the Hoop Collective,
00:04:13it's somewhere between 50% and 70% of the actual people
00:04:16who will become the voters this year.
00:04:18So the people who know a thing or two about who's going to be MVP,
00:04:22and he polls them three times throughout the year.
00:04:25Usually, the first poll isn't super predictive.
00:04:27People fall off.
00:04:29It's kind of a snapshot in time,
00:04:30but for the Celtics, Jason came in fourth.
00:04:34It was Luka Doncic in fifth.
00:04:36Jason was in fourth.
00:04:38Giannis Antetokounmpo was third.
00:04:41Shea Gildas-Alexander was second,
00:04:42and Nikoli Jokic, in my opinion, deservedly was first.
00:04:46So historically, the first place vote getter in the first round of the MVP straw poll
00:04:51actually doesn't pull ahead.
00:04:52Jason Tatum was first place two years ago.
00:04:55The Celtics were red hot, and maybe it was last year.
00:04:58It must have been last year because two years ago was when they were stinky to open the season.
00:05:02Either way, Jason obviously did not win the MVP.
00:05:05So Jason's probably not locked into fourth place in MVP voting,
00:05:09which would be quite the honor anyways.
00:05:11But it seems unlikely.
00:05:14Now, if Giannis, Jokic, and Shea don't meet the games threshold,
00:05:18that's a different story.
00:05:19They have to play 65 games.
00:05:22None of those guys have missed much time, but it could happen.
00:05:26Only Oklahoma City looks like they're in a crash course for a high playoff berth.
00:05:30If the Celtics end up winning 60-something games,
00:05:33they're number one seed, and Jason continues to flirt with
00:05:36the numbers he's been putting up, or better, maybe.
00:05:40And if you look at the Celtics' schedule, it's just a dogfight.
00:05:44In January, they're on the road twice on the Western Conference,
00:05:46including against Shea and the Thunder, including against Jokic and the Nuggets,
00:05:52maybe including against Luka and the Mavericks.
00:05:55You can tell I have nothing in front of me while I'm doing this.
00:05:58I'm just going off the cuff.
00:06:00I think if Jason's going to win the MVP, it's going to be in that stretch.
00:06:03It's going to be, hey, you know what?
00:06:06I was on national TV a lot.
00:06:07I played the biggest, baddest foes.
00:06:09The NBA has to offer a lot.
00:06:11And look at me averaging 30 points in the month of January.
00:06:13I mean, if he gets Eastern Conference Player of the Month in January with that gauntlet
00:06:16ahead of him, that's really his best shot at winning MVP.
00:06:20Now, that being said, I don't think it's a big deal if he wins MVP or not.
00:06:25I've said before, I think he'll get a lifetime achievement one.
00:06:28He seems to be that good of a player and will consistently be that good of a player.
00:06:32But actually, Tim Bondems came on the podcast last year during All-Star Weekend.
00:06:36We talked about what makes a credible MVP candidate beyond just the basketball.
00:06:42And Jason just doesn't have that yet.
00:06:44The story's not that interesting.
00:06:45And that's really not an indictment of Jason.
00:06:48That's much more about, first of all, Nicole Hiokaj is just maybe the best basketball player
00:06:53ever.
00:06:54So there's that.
00:06:54But what Shay is doing on the team and the time, that's hard to ignore.
00:07:01And I mean, the honest ditto.
00:07:04The story there is just fantastic.
00:07:06The Celtics are in cruise control and they're in the fast lane at the same time.
00:07:11I mean, it's boring, understandably.
00:07:14So unless Jason does something fantastic and soon, I think his MVP case is closed.
00:07:20But that's not a big deal.
00:07:22So we're going to stay with Jason for the news, because there's not that much news.
00:07:26Again, the Celtics, after a really tough start to December, have had a pretty slow stretch
00:07:32here.
00:07:32Things pick up between Christmas and New Year's.
00:07:36Couple fun games, twin games against the Pacers who are trending up.
00:07:38That should be exciting.
00:07:40They get to see 1B.
00:07:41I believe I have that right.
00:07:42That's exciting.
00:07:43So things are picking up.
00:07:45But as of late, we've just been watching them play the Wizards and the Bulls.
00:07:50So there's not that much to worry about.
00:07:52Some trade news is trickling in because December 15th came and went.
00:07:56Guys who signed the offseason are eligible to be traded.
00:08:00We've talked about this before.
00:08:02Move slowly and carefully and cautiously when thinking about trades on the internet,
00:08:06because the math right now is so, so difficult that you might think,
00:08:10oh, it makes so much sense for the Celtics to trade for this player, only to find out
00:08:14that this team is on the hard cap, but the first apron.
00:08:17But because of this, I do this professionally, and I find it confusing and alienating and,
00:08:23quite frankly, off-putting.
00:08:24Trades are fun.
00:08:25It's fun to daydream about them anyways.
00:08:29The NBA has made it so complicated.
00:08:31You basically have to have a law degree and an accounting degree to figure out what's going on.
00:08:34So if you see a trade rumor or your favorite blog boy talking about this, that, and the
00:08:41other trade, just run it through a trade simulator.
00:08:43See if it's even legal, because there's very few things that legally can happen,
00:08:47especially from the Celtics perspective.
00:08:49That being said, I'm sure we'll get into that in the next few weeks.
00:08:52I would be so shocked.
00:08:54It would ruin Festivus if there's a trade between now and the next time we record a podcast.
00:08:58How's that?
00:08:59So instead, I'm going to talk about something.
00:09:00It's not news.
00:09:01I mean, it's like the classic, the internet, and specifically Twitter is just a feedback
00:09:06loop of doom, where Jason, after his 43-point triple-double in Chicago, I just tweeted,
00:09:15hey, I think this is a good LeBron impression.
00:09:17If you've listened to this podcast before, I think Jason's ability to guard one through
00:09:21five, I think his ability to basically be a point forward, his rebounding.
00:09:25And his passing is not nearly as good as LeBron's, but no one's is.
00:09:29But if you squint, I think he does the best LeBron impression out of anyone in the NBA.
00:09:34I didn't think this was that interesting of a point to make.
00:09:37I tweet all the time.
00:09:38It's one of many tweets.
00:09:40But it caught a lot of gas and usual mudslinging and what have you comes through.
00:09:46And I usually don't engage.
00:09:47It's usually people just like engagement farming.
00:09:50There's this dude from Dallas who quote tweeted and commented, and he's commenting on the
00:09:54comments, and I don't know if he's having a bad day or what.
00:09:57But I don't think anyone thinks Twitter is a constructive place to have a conversation.
00:10:02What about a podcast where none of the guests have shown up yet and your co-hosts are gone
00:10:06and you have a mandate to talk long enough to place two ads?
00:10:10Then you can talk about it all you want.
00:10:11So here's the thing.
00:10:13Who else could do a LeBron impression?
00:10:15Well, you want to say Giannis, right?
00:10:16No, Giannis is Shaq.
00:10:17Shaq's too big.
00:10:20He is what Giannis is.
00:10:21LeBron is six, eight, I don't know, two something.
00:10:25LeBron is big and strong, but he moves side to side quicker than Giannis.
00:10:30He moves something like a guard.
00:10:33Now, he's not Kobe, he's not MJ.
00:10:36Those comparisons are tough.
00:10:38But Giannis is a freight train.
00:10:40Giannis Euro steps.
00:10:41That's the most side to side he does.
00:10:44So I think it's a disservice to Giannis to try to compare him to LeBron.
00:10:48Say nothing of the fact that I think Giannis is a good passer, but I don't think he
00:10:52he doesn't operate at the top of the key, you know, 15, 16, 17 feet from the basket
00:10:57and play point guard on plays.
00:10:59Usually it's usually he's passing in transition or something like that.
00:11:03A lot of people said Luka.
00:11:04That feels like those people don't know anything about LeBron's defensive
00:11:09capabilities or tatums for that matter.
00:11:12I think this is neither a dig at LeBron nor dig it or overreached a tatum, by the way.
00:11:18LeBron's phenomenal player, but he wasn't he didn't join the heat until he was 26 or
00:11:2427 around Jason's age.
00:11:25So you're really comparing what Jason has done to what LeBron did the first time with
00:11:29the Cavs and LeBron bigger and his dunks are harder.
00:11:34But I mean, think about young Jason, the way he was cutting through things.
00:11:38So, yeah, I just I think you go down the list.
00:11:41Shea is obviously not the right comp.
00:11:43I got I saw a lot of that.
00:11:44A lot of people said Paolo Paolo Bencaro.
00:11:47That's fantastic.
00:11:48That's so interesting.
00:11:50I'm willing to hear that case, but I don't think the body of work is there.
00:11:53I mean, Jason is a five time all star, four time all NBA team.
00:11:57He is a champion.
00:11:58I mean, he does have the resume to back it up, not just the playing style.
00:12:02So Paolo balls in your court, buddy, if you want the LeBron mantle that these people on
00:12:06Twitter want you to have.
00:12:08Start racking things up, but let's see where they're coming from.
00:12:11All of which is to say that I think Jason Tatum NBA, I know I'm feeding into this.
00:12:19I'm literally just doing it so I can read an ad in a minute and then we can do Festivus.
00:12:24But it's just this stupid feedback loop of.
00:12:28People offering an opinion or a hot take and then everyone taking it as the most important
00:12:33thing that has ever been said, and so it must be treated as such, which is to say, like
00:12:37if some bozo on the Internet compares Jason to LeBron, you don't have to defend Jason
00:12:41or LeBron.
00:12:42They don't need to stick up for them.
00:12:44They're not asking for it.
00:12:45They're not looking for you to stick up for them.
00:12:48I'm sure you're a nice person.
00:12:49I'm sure they think you're a nice person.
00:12:51Your future relationship with LeBron or Jason doesn't depend on whether or not you stand
00:12:55up for them in 180 characters or less on Twitter.
00:12:58So yeah, I'm right.
00:13:02The people who commented are wrong.
00:13:03That's the news.
00:13:05All right, that's enough monologuing.
00:13:07It's hard.
00:13:08Monologuing is really hard.
00:13:10I think it's so funny because I'm a high school teacher.
00:13:13I don't like to lecture, but I lecture not infrequently, so I'm actually pretty good
00:13:17at talking for 45 minutes straight.
00:13:19I find hosting a podcast really somewhere between cringey and because I talk fast, I
00:13:26think I get antsy.
00:13:28Monologuing is weird.
00:13:29I mean, we all do it.
00:13:30I'm doing this on basically Zoom, and I'm just looking at myself talking the whole time,
00:13:34which is an unfortunately familiar feeling for all of us in the post-COVID era.
00:13:39Thanks for bearing with me.
00:13:40I hope it was interesting and worth your time.
00:13:42If not, Justin and Alex will tell me I'm never allowed to do this again.
00:13:46Anyways, that can be your grievance that you air for Festivus.
00:13:49So through the magic of editing, please enjoy our Festivus celebration with comedian Gary
00:13:55Goldman and Bobby Kravitzky from Forbes.
00:13:58Until next time, happy holidays.
00:14:01Be safe, make good decisions, and enjoy your time.
00:14:05Okay, see you on the other side of a break.
00:14:07Bye.
00:14:08All right.
00:14:08As promised, we're in the Celtics' lab to honor Festivus, to air some grievances.
00:14:15And to do that, we have some guests.
00:14:17First, Bobby Kravitzky of Forbes magazine.
00:14:19Bobby, what's up?
00:14:21Not much, Cam.
00:14:22Doing great.
00:14:22Appreciate you having me on.
00:14:24Yeah.
00:14:24And back on the podcast for the first time in a while, comedian of the highest order,
00:14:31Gary Goldman.
00:14:31How are you, Gary?
00:14:32I'm good, Cam.
00:14:33How are you feeling?
00:14:34I'm good.
00:14:35I will tell you that I really loved your hit with Microbiglia on the Working Stuff Out
00:14:40podcast.
00:14:42And the part where you talked about you have to be practiced but sound organic as a teacher,
00:14:47I feel that in my bones.
00:14:49And as a podcast host who just had to do this segment over because I hit the wrong buttons,
00:14:54I feel like I did a good job sounding authentic.
00:14:58Yeah, what's up with you, Gary?
00:14:59How are you?
00:15:00I'm good.
00:15:00I'm very happy to be back.
00:15:02The last time I was on, we hadn't won the 2024 NBA championship.
00:15:08So congratulations.
00:15:10Oh, yeah.
00:15:11Before we get negative, what was your favorite moment of that run?
00:15:16I can't think of a moment I didn't love.
00:15:19I mean, I guess the Porzingis return in game one of the finals was extraordinary.
00:15:28But it was also wonderful seeing Jason Tatum lift his son up, Deuce.
00:15:34And there were just so many great moments.
00:15:37And those guys deserved it.
00:15:39And I just love them.
00:15:42Yeah.
00:15:43So Bobby and I are both on the beat.
00:15:46And we're professionals.
00:15:47We call spades spades, as we will do here.
00:15:50Bobby and I happened to sit next to each other for game five.
00:15:53And when the Pritchard half court shot went up, it was like pure elation.
00:15:57It was so fun.
00:15:58Yeah, I think the whole garden was connected in that moment.
00:16:01And everyone knew it ends tonight that the party is on.
00:16:05Yes.
00:16:07Yeah, no, the lead went from like 15 to 18.
00:16:09And you knew it was never going back.
00:16:11Yeah.
00:16:12Gary, again, before we put on our our negative hats,
00:16:16you have a show off Broadway that premieres in January.
00:16:20You want to tell us about it?
00:16:21Yes, it is called Grand eloquent.
00:16:23And it is at the Lucille Lortel theaters.
00:16:27Tickets are available at Goldman show dot com gul man show dot com.
00:16:35And it is a one person show.
00:16:38So it's very funny.
00:16:39But there's some some heavy moments.
00:16:41And it's really coming together beautifully.
00:16:44I give it my highest recommendation.
00:16:48I'm sure you do.
00:16:49Cool.
00:16:49That's so exciting.
00:16:51As Bobby was saying before, I mean, I've been a fan of yours for a while.
00:16:54So to just like see the evolution of your craft is very stellar.
00:16:59That's that's really nice to hear.
00:17:01I appreciate it.
00:17:02You are always so generous with me.
00:17:04And I'm grateful to you.
00:17:06Well, I have to say, the first few times you came on the podcast,
00:17:09we're in like the height of COVID and things like that.
00:17:12So usually we'd start the podcast talking about like community and safety and
00:17:18race relations and things that were heavy.
00:17:20So we got to know each other more than perhaps usually podcast guests and podcasts get to.
00:17:27Yeah, catastrophe can really bring people together in a quick way in an efficient way.
00:17:32I think that that's a really good segue to talk about Festivus.
00:17:35So this is probably year four, maybe year five of us doing Festivus.
00:17:39I can't remember.
00:17:40But it's a great tradition.
00:17:42Obviously, it's a great holiday for people who need that catharsis or
00:17:46or dragged through it, incidentally, as George is.
00:17:50So what we'll do is we will air some grievances.
00:17:52We're going to start with Celtics specific grievances, either about the team or the orbit.
00:17:56And we'll talk about the NBA.
00:17:58I'm going to try to make mine not about the NBA Cup, but because I've just been it's been
00:18:03Festivus all season long for me in the NBA Cup.
00:18:07And then we will do life because life gets in the way.
00:18:10So, Gary, you're the Bobby was just on.
00:18:13So you're the guest of honor here.
00:18:15Do you want to go first or last with your Celtics grievance?
00:18:19I think I'll go last.
00:18:21OK, Bobby, do you want to go first or last with between you and me?
00:18:26I'll kick it off.
00:18:27So for me, it's a grievance related to something that hasn't even happened yet.
00:18:33And that is the sale of the team here with the Celtics.
00:18:37And it's a point where they are literally historically talented.
00:18:41They have already won one championship.
00:18:43There's the potential for them to be ushering in a dynasty as we speak.
00:18:49But there's uncertainty because this diehard owner who loves this team and will spend and
00:18:56treat it like a philanthropic endeavor is having it stripped from him, which is not
00:19:00pointing fingers or saying anyone's wrong for this.
00:19:03But it's just calling the reality of the situation to the floor here.
00:19:07And on top of that, the timing of the Celtics building this great team coincides with a
00:19:14change in the NBA's collective bargaining agreement that makes the penalty steeper,
00:19:18that makes it more challenging to keep this roster together long term.
00:19:22And because of those more punitive penalties, it's probably at a minimum a factor in why
00:19:29the Celtics are up for sale all of a sudden.
00:19:31And so it's just it's unbelievable the timing of this more than anything here, where the
00:19:36Celtics build this juggernaut at a time where you don't know how stable and how long lasting
00:19:42it will be.
00:19:44It's a good grievance because it's kind of just pointed in the ether.
00:19:47It's not like pointed at any one person.
00:19:49Yeah, Gary, do you agree with Bobby's frustration about the sale?
00:19:53Are you feeling more hopeful, more pessimistic?
00:19:56No, absolutely.
00:19:57And but it's also very timely because it seems that billionaires are ruining so many things.
00:20:05And why would our Celtics, our beloved Celtics, be any different?
00:20:09And it reminds me of George Costanza confronting George Steinbrenner in the opposite episode
00:20:20and calling him out for destroying this beloved team.
00:20:24And I just I remain hopeful.
00:20:27But wouldn't it be very, very timely for our very special and beloved team to be undone
00:20:38by greed and corporate villainy?
00:20:46I will say Matt Ishbia, the owner of the Phoenix Suns, just released that they're making everything
00:20:53on the concession menu $2 or something like that.
00:20:55So you get a $2 hot dog, a $2 soda.
00:20:58That's I commend that so highly, not in the spirit of Festivus, but good job, Matt Ishbia.
00:21:03Yeah.
00:21:04So, hey, Irv Grausbeck, what are you doing there, guy?
00:21:09Matt Ishbia looks like a saint.
00:21:10He's giving the people of Phoenix $2 hot dogs and you're selling the team for estate planning.
00:21:16That's awful.
00:21:18I will I'm going to piggyback off of that one.
00:21:23And this is going to get complicated.
00:21:26Look, if a sovereign wealth fund from the Gulf states buys 20 percent of the team and
00:21:31the Celtics are now funded by oil money, there are some ethical quagmires to deal with.
00:21:37But there are some ethical quagmires to deal with American billionaires, too.
00:21:41So let's be careful with how we virtue signal everyone.
00:21:45Gary, yes.
00:21:48Oh, no, you said you want to go last.
00:21:49OK.
00:21:51My Celtics one is Jalen, Jalen Brown, whom I admire as a person dearly.
00:21:58I think he's a very nice young man.
00:22:01I don't he said something early in the season about, you know, I'm 28 now.
00:22:05And when I did that, I was 26.
00:22:07And when he was 26, he did something like, well, I was 24 then.
00:22:11I'm 26 now.
00:22:12And so he seems very aware of his age, which what 20 something year old.
00:22:16I mean, we all spend our youth waiting to be told we've arrived.
00:22:19Right.
00:22:21But Jalen, buddy, you backtracked.
00:22:22You are not playing defense as unselfishly as you once did.
00:22:26And you, I think, are kind of putting your head down in the wrong way.
00:22:29So I have grievances with Jalen Brown telling us he's the most mature version of himself
00:22:34he's ever been.
00:22:35And I haven't seen that on the court quite yet.
00:22:39Jalen, if you have a bad hip and that's what's slowing you down, I take it all back.
00:22:43I would never make fun of someone with a hip condition.
00:22:46But yeah, in the spirit of Festivus, Jalen, come on, dude, you're 28.
00:22:51You told us that there's something to expect from 28 year old Jalen Brown.
00:22:54Meet the mark.
00:22:56Bobby, you see the team up close.
00:22:57Am I right about that?
00:22:58Or am I I mean, you can tell me I'm wrong, but.
00:23:02I think that you're right to a rather small degree, respectfully, Cameron.
00:23:08So diplomatic.
00:23:11I think that the hip is relevant.
00:23:15The fact that it's early in the season is also a part of the equation here.
00:23:20And I mean, there's still plenty of examples of him picking up guys and pressing
00:23:25beyond half court and guarding the best perimeter player on the opposing team.
00:23:29So if you want to say he's not playing at the same level he was defensively last season.
00:23:34Sure.
00:23:34But again, between where we are in the campaign and the injury and everything,
00:23:40I still think he's putting in a respectable two way effort.
00:23:44And his defense is not at the root of their small handful of losses.
00:23:50No.
00:23:50Yeah, that's right.
00:23:51Bobby, was it you who was saying campaign is like one of the silliest
00:23:54synonyms that we use in our writing?
00:23:56It is.
00:23:57So that's not a point originally brought up by me as someone else on the beat.
00:24:02But yeah, the fact that once we write, for example, Gary, once we go with season,
00:24:06and then the next stanza, you have to mix it up.
00:24:08No one uses campaign in real life outside of me just now.
00:24:12So it's a ridiculous thing to write, but we kind of have to.
00:24:17Yeah, I'm all over my students about word crowding because I
00:24:20feel like it's the bane of my writing existence.
00:24:23Um, Gary, any thoughts on Jalen Brown, the 28 year old Jalen Brown?
00:24:28I feel like he is not the my only misgivings about his his game, because
00:24:38I don't know if you've been hearing this, but a lot of my friends are saying, well,
00:24:43Jason Tatum is great.
00:24:45This is how they're attacking him this year.
00:24:47Last year, it was that he hadn't won a championship.
00:24:50This year, it's that he's not even our best player.
00:24:53But I think he's a better playmaker than Jalen.
00:24:57And so that's why I think he's still our best player.
00:25:01And it's 1A maybe to number one, but I have a hard time finding any fault because I did
00:25:10notice like Bobby, he is still doing that thing where he's picking up really good ball
00:25:15handlers, three quarters court and full court.
00:25:18And that's that's not something everybody does during the regular season.
00:25:23So I have a hard time finding any any fault with him.
00:25:28All right.
00:25:28It's gotta be the shoes, I guess.
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00:27:03Excrete.
00:27:04Well, what do you think of the Jalen Brown shoes?
00:27:06Just aesthetically.
00:27:07I've never seen them with all the lights out, so I think that's an important thing to see,
00:27:14but I do think he has really good style and I shouldn't be the one judging sneakers.
00:27:20I'm a 54-year-old Jewish man, so I feel like my taste in sneakers is not as good as some
00:27:27of the younger people and I do like what I've seen.
00:27:32I think I saw Peyton Pritchard wearing a pair one night and I really liked that.
00:27:36I think they're a good sneaker, but I'll probably stick with Nike's because they make
00:27:44size 15 more available.
00:27:45Is that what you wear?
00:27:47Yeah.
00:27:48Oh, how tall are you?
00:27:516'6".
00:27:52Are you kidding me?
00:27:53No.
00:27:55I guess I only see you on stage by yourself.
00:27:57I have no reference point.
00:27:58Yeah, I'm never standing next to somebody of average height, but I'm pretty tall for
00:28:04a comedian.
00:28:07Gary, is it just Nike's in general?
00:28:09Because there's a basketball scene where you go shoot free throws in one of your more recent
00:28:13HBO specials.
00:28:15Is there a specific style or player edition of Nike's or just Nike's in general and whatever
00:28:20you find there?
00:28:21Oh man, I love to talk sneakers.
00:28:23So I will say that the past couple of years I've found the KD 16 and 17, they fit really
00:28:30well.
00:28:31I have a pair of Tatum denims.
00:28:34Oh, nice.
00:28:36They're a little too wide for me, so I don't play ball on them that much, but they look
00:28:40good with jeans.
00:28:42And then I have a pair of Giannis Freaks.
00:28:48They're a little too wide.
00:28:49The perfect width for me is the KD.
00:28:53And then I also have a pair of Sabrina's that I custom made from the Nike store.
00:29:01Nike ID, baby, yeah.
00:29:03Yeah, they're pretty cool.
00:29:05So yeah, I wouldn't say I'm a sneaker head because I don't collect them, I wear them
00:29:12out.
00:29:13But I do buy a lot of sneakers because I wear them out pretty quickly.
00:29:17I will say this, even just for walking, the Sabrina's are very comfortable.
00:29:21Yeah, they're lovely and I really like the style.
00:29:24I'm very happy with them.
00:29:27We're doing Festivus all wrong.
00:29:31Gary, what's your Celtics grievance?
00:29:34Well, it's a grievance, but I think it will benefit Luke Cornett.
00:29:39And you can tell me why he doesn't.
00:29:42But when he first came to us, he would occasionally shoot a three pointer and he was pretty good
00:29:48at them.
00:29:49And I know he was great at them in college at Vanderbilt.
00:29:52And I wonder, well, my grievance is I wish he would shoot one or two.
00:29:58I think he could stretch the floor a little bit.
00:30:02And also, they wouldn't be able to slough off him because that's what they're doing
00:30:06so frequently because I don't know that I've seen him.
00:30:10I haven't watched every game, but I think I've watched 80 or 90 percent of the games
00:30:14this year.
00:30:15I haven't seen him take one.
00:30:16And I wish he would take a couple because first of all, I adore him.
00:30:23I think he's got a wonderful temperament and he seems to enjoy the game in a way that
00:30:33is unusual for somebody who has been in the league as long as him.
00:30:38He just seems to have a great personality.
00:30:41So I wish he would make more or take more threes.
00:30:44And that's my grievance.
00:30:48It's a very gentle grievance.
00:30:50Yeah, I really, he was a math major in college.
00:30:54I want him to guest teach one of my econ classes.
00:30:58He said he'd feel too shy, which is okay.
00:31:01I support that.
00:31:02Sweet.
00:31:03Why do you think he doesn't ever take a three?
00:31:06Is it a mandate?
00:31:08It's certainly not a mandate, especially not from this team and the rate that they
00:31:12shoot him at.
00:31:13But when he came back here, there was a real shift, like you noted, in his style of play.
00:31:18And he's such a good screener and finisher around the rim and so effective as a facilitator
00:31:23that they really tapped into those.
00:31:25I don't think it was necessarily we're doing this at the expense of the threes, but he
00:31:29just doesn't really find himself beyond the arc, let alone looking to shoot when he gets
00:31:34there.
00:31:34I do wonder if he'll take more.
00:31:36I think teams will always live with it, no matter if he's making one or two a game.
00:31:41But hey, that just makes it that much easier for him.
00:31:44Yeah.
00:31:46When they put Porzingis on the nail, because it's only been a small sample, but he and
00:31:51Porzingis have played together a little bit.
00:31:53Porzingis is kind of the pivot point in the middle of the offense.
00:31:56I could see Luke stepping out and staying out and then shooting a three just to keep
00:32:01the defense wide.
00:32:01But I think what he's done so well is they said, do these three things, get really good
00:32:06at them, and try not to do too much else.
00:32:09And to your point, he's really good at it, such that he has the bandwidth to celebrate
00:32:14and do silly things.
00:32:16Yeah, one of my grievances, aside grievances, fans saying they're not finding this an
00:32:23enjoyable team to watch.
00:32:25First of all, if people don't want to watch every game, that's fine.
00:32:27They don't have to.
00:32:28But there's so much fun.
00:32:32The Pritchard story's fun.
00:32:33The players are silly.
00:32:35Derek is silly.
00:32:36I don't know.
00:32:36I think you're looking in the wrong place.
00:32:38They don't deserve this team.
00:32:41And they're going to look back someday and regret being so unfazed by this historic
00:32:50talent.
00:32:51And we've gotten to see them grow from Peyton Pritchard as a rookie to now.
00:32:56That's been such a fun thing to see.
00:32:59He gave us so many glimpses.
00:33:01And then last year in the playoffs and to take that next step, we should be so grateful.
00:33:08Yeah, I don't know.
00:33:12Maybe this will be someone's grievance.
00:33:13Just the take economy on the internet and on television right now is so...
00:33:19It's just so much junk food that when people are zigging, you gotta zag.
00:33:22And so maybe that's how that became a thing.
00:33:25But then also, if someone zigs and then another person zags, everyone piles on the person
00:33:29for zagging in the first place.
00:33:30And so there's just no breathing room.
00:33:33But I don't think I'm burning my grievance on that yet.
00:33:36So Bobby, we're going to go to you again.
00:33:39League-wide grievance.
00:33:40It could be about the coverage.
00:33:41It could be about fans.
00:33:44It could be, I don't know, whatever you want.
00:33:46Yeah, you said it right there.
00:33:48How the game is marketed in terms of the league and its major broadcast partners, I think
00:33:54they do a tremendous disservice on multiple fronts.
00:33:58One being that you have the four-letter network, for example.
00:34:03It's the Lakers.
00:34:04And not even being a title contender is inherently good enough.
00:34:08You look at the Thunder.
00:34:09They're not even playing on Christmas.
00:34:11They don't get much attention.
00:34:13And so you have to be a select member within that group of title contenders and amongst
00:34:18the elites.
00:34:19So if you're the Celtics and you're this blue-blooded franchise, that's great.
00:34:23But OKC, not so much, despite having this young star in Shea Gildress Alexander, who's
00:34:29an MVP candidate.
00:34:30But they didn't do much to market the NBA Cup championship last night leading into
00:34:36it.
00:34:36I know the game was a dud, but not much talk there.
00:34:39They even had Giannis on the other side.
00:34:41Still not much of an effort to bring eyeballs to it.
00:34:44So the way that they market the game, I think, is a tremendous disservice where, Cam, we've
00:34:50talked about this.
00:34:51The NFL might have advantages that the NBA can't reach to the same extent where people
00:34:57are glued into every play because it's this gladiator sport.
00:35:00But they genuinely have some level of interest just because there's an NFL game on or they'll
00:35:06watch Red Zone.
00:35:07And it's not, OK, you just cut to this team or this game and I'm not interested.
00:35:12The NBA doesn't make it so that people are excited about or think positively towards
00:35:18the on-court product and most of the league, which is a tremendous problem that they need
00:35:23to address.
00:35:24Yeah, for sure.
00:35:25I mean, you know, I think that the NBA is one big inside joke.
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00:37:10Gary, I don't know.
00:37:11You're an out of market fan.
00:37:12What do you think?
00:37:12Oh, I just, I'm turned off by the BS of the NBA cup.
00:37:25You have this opportunity to show a championship in, you show it on a Tuesday.
00:37:32It could have been scheduled so it was on a weekend, on a Saturday or a Sunday.
00:37:36They do that for the all-star game.
00:37:38I'm sure it would take some planning and logistics.
00:37:41But to put it on a Tuesday, it's just seemed silly.
00:37:47And then the rules are so odd with the number of points scored.
00:37:55And there seems to be an opportunity to do something in terms of winning quarters,
00:38:00like they used to do in the CBA or something.
00:38:02So that, first of all, the BS is that this matters at all.
00:38:09And so I don't buy that.
00:38:11It matters because they thought they could bring a little bit more money out of it.
00:38:16But it just, it turns me off.
00:38:19And just the fact that two consecutive years, the best team in the NBA didn't make the
00:38:26quarterfinals of this thing that I consider BS.
00:38:30It just shows that it's a complete cash grab.
00:38:34And the courts are gross and gimmicky.
00:38:40And I'll go with them on the City Edition uniforms and the different version of the
00:38:45uniforms to try to get my money.
00:38:48But for crying out loud, this in-season tournament is insulting to me.
00:38:54And so that goes to Bobby's point about the marketing just not being very innovative or
00:39:03thoughtful or exciting.
00:39:06And another great point about the, yeah, OKC has these exciting players, and they're
00:39:13varied in terms of coverage.
00:39:16And the Lakers, like the Yankees, are being forced on our throats when at least the Yankees
00:39:20are contenders.
00:39:22Yeah.
00:39:24Speaking of which, I haven't confirmed this.
00:39:25Cody Bellinger's current wife is John Carlos Stanton's ex-wife.
00:39:31So that will make the Yankees interesting to cover, I guess.
00:39:36I saw that on Twitter.
00:39:37I did not expect you to bring that up.
00:39:39Did you see that as well?
00:39:40Did I?
00:39:41Well, I saw it yesterday when they made the trade for him, but I didn't see it making
00:39:45its way to Celtics Lab.
00:39:47I've been thinking about it.
00:39:49Yeah, I also, Garrett, your point, putting it in Vegas is just like the icing on the
00:39:53cake of, look, my stepsister lives in Vegas.
00:39:56There's a real community of people that live in Vegas.
00:39:59I'm sure you've played off the strip and had a great time connecting with that community.
00:40:04The hockey team seems like it's beloved, but the people in Vegas do not like the NBA
00:40:10Cup.
00:40:11It's just like it does not seem interesting to them.
00:40:13And so there was no pop on that television broadcast.
00:40:16It just felt forced.
00:40:20Tacky.
00:40:20It was tacky.
00:40:21Yeah.
00:40:22Yeah, the NBA can't decide if it's trying to sell to adults with adult paychecks or
00:40:28teenagers.
00:40:29And then I think they end up doing a little bit of both and it ends up feeling like it's
00:40:32for no one.
00:40:33So that felt like a step removed from watching people play 2K, which probably would do good
00:40:39numbers.
00:40:40But then it also felt a step removed from, Bobby, your point, like the sincerity and
00:40:44the earnestness of an NFL broadcast, which takes itself so hyper serious or flip over
00:40:50to Nickelodeon and watch SpongeBob play football, which is great.
00:40:54Yeah, to your point about the lack of interest in Vegas, I mean, that is a place that loves
00:40:59basketball.
00:41:00The Aces have a tremendous fan base.
00:41:02And so there is a support for the sport, but the NBA Cup, nothing.
00:41:07And I think they ran it on a Tuesday.
00:41:09They tried last year on a Saturday and had the Lakers in it.
00:41:12So maybe they looked at the ratings and the data from that and thought, hey, on a Tuesday,
00:41:16we're not really competing with anything.
00:41:18So that's why.
00:41:19But also, it doesn't help when the game is a dud.
00:41:22Maybe if it was more compelling, more people would have been interested in talking about
00:41:26it, at least positively.
00:41:27But that didn't play out for them.
00:41:29So my grievance connected to yours insofar as there's this spectacular thing in the NBA
00:41:36that deserves so much shine, and that's Nicole Jokic.
00:41:40And my grievance is with the people who run the Denver Nuggets, because if they think
00:41:45that trading for Zach Levine is their ticket to reviving Jokic's contention window, what
00:41:53the hell is going on there?
00:41:55This dude is so beautiful when playing basketball.
00:41:59He does things statistically and in front of your eyes that defy belief.
00:42:05And this is not fair, but like with a body and a shape that you would never imagine.
00:42:11I think he could win a fourth MVP, which puts him in the rarest of rarefied air.
00:42:16He just is so friggin spectacular.
00:42:20I enjoy watching him play so much.
00:42:21Look, Westbrook was one of my favorite players, but that is not like a real co-star.
00:42:26MPJ seems like the lights are on, nothing's home kind of thing.
00:42:32Get Jokic real help.
00:42:34That dude deserves it.
00:42:35I don't want to have to wait three years for him to ask sheepishly for a trade.
00:42:39That dude should always be in deep playoff runs because he's like so good at high quality
00:42:46basketball.
00:42:47So, Nicola, you're doing great.
00:42:49Keep up the good work, buddy.
00:42:50My grievance is with the people who put together your roster and your payroll.
00:42:56Can I ask you an associated question?
00:42:59So assuming I'm right about this, the top five stars in the NBA are Jokic, Giannis,
00:43:05Luka, SGA, Tatum, debate whoever you want and in what order.
00:43:09Do you think the international nature of that group is a problem for the league?
00:43:14Well, the first thing I want to circle back to, I will answer, Kim, but to use a word
00:43:18that Gary brought up earlier with the Nugget situation, it's villainy.
00:43:22Stan Kroenke owns the Denver Nuggets.
00:43:25They can afford to re-sign Bruce Brown and Contavious Caldwell-Pope.
00:43:29The Kroenkes will have dinner that night.
00:43:31It's going to be okay.
00:43:32And so I really think that you saw that team get burnt out in the playoffs and that's why
00:43:37they blew like a 25-point lead in the second half of game seven.
00:43:41It was supposed to be Celtics Nuggets in a spectacular NBA finals.
00:43:45And the reason we didn't is that corporate greed and villainy.
00:43:48So it's fraudulent that they don't invest more around this generational talent in Jokic.
00:43:54And then to circle back and turn this into a long-winded answer about, hey, is the fact
00:44:00that these are international stars affecting North American interest?
00:44:04They keep saying it is.
00:44:06So perhaps there's some merit to it, but I don't know.
00:44:10I mean, Jason Tatum is one of those guys you just mentioned.
00:44:13He's from here.
00:44:15So to me, I'm sure there's some relevance to it, but I also wouldn't be surprised if
00:44:20that's overblown.
00:44:21Yeah.
00:44:22Gary, what about you?
00:44:23In terms of the, is it too, the stars are too international?
00:44:28Do you buy that hype?
00:44:29Yeah.
00:44:31No, because I mean, I don't know.
00:44:33Do you buy that hype?
00:44:34Yeah.
00:44:36No, because, and we do live in a jingoistic nationalist nightmare right now, but I can't
00:44:45imagine because as you just so beautifully put, Nikola is a once in a lifetime talent
00:44:52and the same with Luka and Shea.
00:44:56I mean, we basically, I never saw Steve Nash as a, for example, as an international player
00:45:02because he played in America in college.
00:45:04And so I think, I mean, I only care about people who get and understand that basketball
00:45:14is the most beautiful sport that we offer.
00:45:18And so I don't really care that dummies think that it's too international.
00:45:28If you can't see how beautiful and talented these guys who are international are playing
00:45:35and the innovations they've brought to the NBA starting in the nineties when they first
00:45:42started coming over here and bringing the Eurostep and a lot of the other different
00:45:48innovations from European basketball and the style, it's just then they're fools.
00:45:53It's the same people who say, oh, they shoot too many threes and it's all threes and dunks.
00:45:58Oh, it's all those really exciting plays that none of us can dream of doing with any
00:46:04kind of consistency.
00:46:07It's just nonsense and they're hiding something else in their negativity.
00:46:12I'm loud and clear on that one.
00:46:16I agree.
00:46:17Yeah.
00:46:17How about Giannis whatever was 30 and 19 last night without attempting a three pointer.
00:46:22There you go.
00:46:23There's your nineties basketball.
00:46:24Yeah.
00:46:25All right.
00:46:26Gary, this is good.
00:46:27This is the negative energy I wanted.
00:46:30What is your NBA grievance on this Festivus?
00:46:35I don't know.
00:46:36I guess part of it was the stupid cup.
00:46:42But the other thing I guess that I don't know that it's an NBA grievance or just a general
00:46:54basketball grievance.
00:46:56My friend, Jim Penetary from Boston College, he said, and please tell me why this is not
00:47:05a great idea if you don't think it is.
00:47:07We don't like it when a guy makes either a great drive along the baseline from the corner
00:47:16or makes a great NBA three from the corner area and they cancel it because a centimeter
00:47:24of his shoe was on the baseline and not the baseline, the sideline.
00:47:30And so I want to widen that area so that that isn't so common.
00:47:38Like it happens two or three times a game and it's such a bummer.
00:47:42That's why I love the take foul rule because I hated that they were breaking up fast breaks,
00:47:48breaking up some of the coolest shots because a guy kind of stepped out of bounds.
00:47:53It's very narrow over there, especially when you have when you have big sneakers.
00:47:58Yeah, the courtside seats.
00:48:00Well, now they have like waiter services at the courtside seats, too.
00:48:03So it's even more crowded and all the photographers.
00:48:09I've never heard that.
00:48:10I mean, I guess I've heard that from like a player safety perspective.
00:48:12I've never heard that about like a playmaking perspective.
00:48:15I'd be interested if a player said, yeah, I didn't take the shot because I felt like
00:48:20I was a step out of bounds.
00:48:22And the other thing is, I hate those unofficial timeouts where some I just despise people
00:48:29with courtside seats who aren't me.
00:48:32And when I get them, I deserve them.
00:48:35But everybody else, they don't deserve these courtside seats and they'll drop their beers.
00:48:41And then there's a three minute timeout.
00:48:45And and it's and it's not fair because they they shouldn't be allowed to drink anything
00:48:53that close to the court.
00:48:54It's very dangerous.
00:48:56And and why do you need anything to drink to enhance these great seats?
00:49:01And sometimes I see they haven't even returned after after halftime and and they shouldn't
00:49:07be allowed to leave.
00:49:10The spilled drink epidemic has happened twice this season already with the Celtics in Washington,
00:49:15specifically.
00:49:16Yes, my my wife, who watches more than just the players, saw the referee nail that guy
00:49:23who was carrying drinks.
00:49:25And her favorite play in basketball is the is a very rare one where the ball gets stuck
00:49:33in the rim.
00:49:34Yeah, the wedgie.
00:49:35Yeah, that should be worth four points.
00:49:38But her other favorite thing was seeing that man get it was very sad because he was just
00:49:44trying to do his job, but he wasn't paying attention.
00:49:46And neither was the ref.
00:49:47And he just he laid him out, man.
00:49:51Hey, Magic Johnson moment.
00:49:54It's tough out there.
00:49:56Really is.
00:49:58Bobby before a game last season.
00:50:03Yeah, that's true.
00:50:06Got some physical contact with players warming up, so to speak, because it's tight.
00:50:11It's tight.
00:50:12Bobby lived to tell the tale.
00:50:14All right, let's do our life here.
00:50:16Let's do our life grievances.
00:50:18Yeah, just, you know, Kristaps Porzingis to this whole conversation about the corner and
00:50:23creating more real estate over there.
00:50:24He literally told us last year that he doesn't like shooting corner threes because it's so
00:50:29hard for his foot to fit there and be in bounds and be behind that line.
00:50:34So he almost never takes them.
00:50:36He doesn't really like being over there as a spot up shooter.
00:50:39Yes.
00:50:40So this also comes into the Americans with Disabilities Act.
00:50:43Hell, yeah, they need to accommodate these people with these with these unusually large
00:50:47feet.
00:50:49They weren't thinking about 73 Kristaps Porzingis from Latvia.
00:50:53Yeah, I don't think that's what the ADA was meant to protect.
00:50:57I have a grievance, a special one.
00:51:00So I was looking for something my phone.
00:51:02I don't know if we'll be able to find it.
00:51:03I was really lucky last year.
00:51:05I got to do a story with Kristaps about his cars and a photographer, Richie Lemay, and
00:51:10I went to his garage and looked at his cars.
00:51:13And it was a really sensational experience.
00:51:16I really like cars.
00:51:18I felt like I was good at the story.
00:51:21I feel like I really brought something to it.
00:51:23And obviously, it was really nice of Kristaps.
00:51:26He was very generous with his time.
00:51:28So afterwards, I say, Kristaps, do you mind if we get a picture just like this was such
00:51:32a special experience?
00:51:33And he said, sure, of course.
00:51:34Damn, I can't find it.
00:51:37So we go to take a picture.
00:51:38And I'm 5'8".
00:51:40Like, I'm not a tall man.
00:51:42Kristaps puts his arm on my shoulder.
00:51:44I can't find the photo.
00:51:45But you have to imagine, Gary, just how little I look in that photo.
00:51:49I look like we're a set of Russian nesting dolls.
00:51:53And I'm the last one.
00:51:54He's the first one.
00:51:55And the ones in between got lost.
00:51:56It's just so anyways, Kristaps, my grievance is, please, next time we do a project together,
00:52:03think about the forced perspective of it all.
00:52:05Because it didn't look great.
00:52:08Anyways, let's do our life grievances.
00:52:12Bobby, what you got?
00:52:15So I decided to choose my mortal enemy, which is the mass pike.
00:52:19We have to go in for not even press conferences.
00:52:24But just I like to get all the pregame workouts the players go through.
00:52:28Because it's something that if we're not there to document it, you're not going to see.
00:52:31You're not going to have that insight.
00:52:33And so competing with rush hour traffic on the mass pike is always it's never pleasant.
00:52:41And sometimes you sit there, and it feels like I just get out and walk at this point.
00:52:46And you're trying to think of a solution to how can they improve the mass pike.
00:52:50And the reality is, it feels like there's nothing like this is just something that is
00:52:55what it is.
00:52:55And you got to deal with it.
00:52:56So the mass pike is my life grievance.
00:52:59Which I know is true.
00:53:00Because often you are running a little late because you take the bike in.
00:53:05That's funny.
00:53:06Mine is also driving related.
00:53:08So let me say this.
00:53:09I've driven Uber before.
00:53:11My dad drove a cab once upon a time.
00:53:13Like this is going to sound classist.
00:53:15But this is from I have experience backing this up.
00:53:19My grievance is with Uber drivers who use the map north justified.
00:53:24Like they're fucking Magellan or something.
00:53:26And instead of letting the arrow point the right direction and guide you down Beacon
00:53:33Street or wherever you need to go, just kind of guessing based on where it sort of looks
00:53:39like it's pointing.
00:53:40Especially in a place like Boston where it's a bunch of cow paths that don't go in the
00:53:43direction you would expect them to go.
00:53:45I don't understand why people don't use that function on their phone.
00:53:49And again, I've driven Uber.
00:53:50The Uber map is a disaster.
00:53:52I empathize with people who, you know, it's hard to find the pickup location or you get
00:53:56in the tunnel and you don't have service anymore.
00:53:58But that one, I do not understand that at all.
00:54:03Gary, so I have a grievance with north justified Uber driving maps.
00:54:09Gary, what's your life grievance?
00:54:11I love this.
00:54:12I want to say first that I'm very grateful.
00:54:16I feel very blessed.
00:54:18And this is very, I mean, this is so trivial.
00:54:23But I've traveled more over the past year than I ever have for work.
00:54:31So I'm very grateful for that.
00:54:33But I am in a different hotel room, sometimes as much as three different hotel rooms a week.
00:54:41And every time I check into a hotel room, and again, this is a champagne problem, I'm
00:54:46staying in various nice hotels.
00:54:50But they seem to be trying to outdo each other in how unusual or exotic they can make these
00:54:59switches that turn on any of the lights in the hotel room.
00:55:04And some of them, and again, I'm very lucky that I have hotels that care about lighting
00:55:10on the headboard of the bed.
00:55:12In my home, I don't even have a headboard.
00:55:14I don't care about headboards.
00:55:16But in these hotels, there will be a light that is on the headboard.
00:55:21And it really provides no reading ability or making the scene any better.
00:55:26It just seems to be kind of a flex in the bedding industry that your headboard have
00:55:32a light.
00:55:32And without exception, that light on the headboard, nobody can decide where they're going to
00:55:41put the switch for it.
00:55:43Sometimes it's on top of the headboard.
00:55:45Sometimes it's in a master plate of switches next to the bed.
00:55:51Sometimes it is involved in taking your key out of a slot as you enter the hotel.
00:55:58And sometimes they say, and my wife, sometimes she comes to me, she'll say, just call the
00:56:04front desk.
00:56:05And I say, and then they win.
00:56:08They win because they forced me to humbly go to the front desk and say that I'm overwhelmed
00:56:15by the switches.
00:56:17And they'll say, oh, you just have to get underneath the bed.
00:56:21And you'll feel around, and you'll find a little switch.
00:56:27And it's just very frustrating.
00:56:29And again, it's trivial, but it does raise the amount of cortisol in my blood late at
00:56:35night when I don't need it.
00:56:38That seems like it goes in the same category as trying to bring groceries in all at once.
00:56:42It's a personal challenge, and you've got to be able to complete the mission.
00:56:45I'll add to it, what happened to gentle light or lamps?
00:56:52I feel like, because Gary, all of those are super bright.
00:56:56I have a stupid light halo because we're recording a podcast.
00:57:00I had to use this as my primary light.
00:57:02I get a migraine.
00:57:04It's so bright.
00:57:04And I feel like all the hotel lights are the hot white light.
00:57:10What about a calming blue or something, like the things they put in cars?
00:57:14Also, the bathrooms that don't have doors in hotels, what the hell is that?
00:57:21Even when I'm with my significant other, and we would like the privacy of a door between
00:57:26us and the toilet.
00:57:27That is a bizarre.
00:57:29Yeah, I don't want to have to hold it in for an entire vacation.
00:57:33Yeah, no, that is not healthy.
00:57:36Ill-advised.
00:57:37Do you know the average American only goes number two, three times a week?
00:57:42Really?
00:57:43Who's coming up with those stats?
00:57:44How reliable is your source?
00:57:46The internet.
00:57:48We had this already.
00:57:51The landlord tried to fix our...
00:57:52I have another grievance.
00:57:53My landlord tried to fix my toilet on a Friday afternoon, unsuccessful.
00:57:58So then we and the dog stayed at a hotel that weekend.
00:58:02And we had to think through, do we hold it?
00:58:06What's going on here?
00:58:07So we did a little bit of research.
00:58:08And that was the stat.
00:58:09We were staggered because I eat fiber and drink water.
00:58:15So no way I'm going two and a half days between trips to the toilet.
00:58:20It explains a lot of the irritability in our nation.
00:58:24Yeah, maybe that's the great divide in the nation is people who go number two regularly
00:58:28and people who are not able to do so.
00:58:32I noticed the calm from one side that the other one is lacking.
00:58:37Well, yeah, then the two sides think that they're better.
00:58:40You're supposed to...
00:58:40I don't know.
00:58:41Anyways, this is definitely the place to end this episode of the Celtics Live podcast.
00:58:47Because this is going to end the segment, I should talk about our sponsors and post-roll.
00:58:52Thank you to PrizePix, the exclusive fantasy basketball partner of the CNS Media Network.
00:58:57And by Game Time Tickets, less than tickets, lowest price guaranteed.
00:59:00Thanks to Bobby Kravitzky of sports...
00:59:02Oh, of Forbes.
00:59:04And anything else, Bobby, to plug?
00:59:06Yeah.
00:59:07No, just Forbes.
00:59:08Just Forbes.
00:59:09Yeah, congrats.
00:59:10Appreciate it.
00:59:12This will come out Monday or Tuesday, but I'll see you tomorrow.
00:59:15Yes, sir.
00:59:16All right.
00:59:17And thank you to Gary, Gary Goldman.
00:59:19Gary, plug your one-man show and anything else you got going on.
00:59:23Grand Eloquent at the Lucille Lortel Theatre from January 7th through February 8th.
00:59:30Tickets at goldmansshow.com.
00:59:33And if you're looking for a literary present this year, my book, Misfit, is available in
00:59:41paperback as well as hardcover, but paperback is more affordable.
00:59:46So give it as a Hanukkah or Christmas gift.
00:59:48You will not be sorry.
00:59:50All right.
00:59:51Well, we'll end there.
00:59:53From all of us here at the Celtics Club Podcast, Happy Holidays.
00:59:56Thanks again, Bobby.
00:59:57Thanks again, Gary.
00:59:57Yeah.
00:59:58Happy Holidays.
00:59:58Bobby, so nice to meet you.
01:00:01Gary, great meeting you.
01:00:02Happy Holidays to everyone tuning in.
01:00:04Thanks, everybody.
01:00:05And at the very least, we'll do it again next year.
01:00:08Adios.