Nate | Barstool Rundown
Category
🥇
SportsTranscript
00:00Coach got it for him. Dave was like, oh it's an incredible gift, took a photo but sent it to
00:05Caitlin. And then Caitlin's like, actually I wore 11 in high school not 22. Oh my god.
00:11And so Dave was caught having a fake jersey. Oh that's so awkward.
00:17Now Gruden is blaming it on Malasek, which is fair.
00:24Today is Wednesday, February 5th down here in New Orleans. I am joined by Che and Danny
00:28and this is the rundown brought to you by Mountain Dew. Add a blast of refreshing tropical
00:34lime flavor to your game day with Mountain Dew Baja Blast. Mountain Dew Baja Blast is part of
00:39my game day ritual. The tropical lime flavor of Mountain Dew Baja Blast is refreshing as
00:43hitting a parlay fellas. You know me, that's what I'm doing all day long baby. So delicious,
00:48so refreshing, so perfect for game day. Ride the Baja wave on game day and grab a Mountain
00:53Dew Baja Blast for you and your crew wherever refreshing beverages are sold.
00:59Fellas. Kate. Delicious, delicious. And in this New Orleans heat that certainly is refreshing.
01:06It's very hot. It's very hot and humid down here. I don't think any of us were prepared.
01:09I brought like sweaters and hoodies. Right, we were warned that it gets chilly at night. I guess
01:14by chilly they meant about 65 degrees. Yeah, brutal, brutal. You were just up in the lifeguard
01:21chair in the sun for two hours. Yeah, my chances of skin cancer skyrocketed but when in New Orleans
01:27I got to get that tan so I can go back to Chicago and not look like a ghoul. Still not as shitty of
01:31a situation as Saquon Barkley was put in recently. Getting drug tested while taking a dump. First
01:39off, have either of you ever been drug tested for anything? Yes, several times. I went to a high
01:43school where they randomly drug tested us. Didn't matter if you were the valedictorian. Me, at your
01:46high school? Yes, and it was random and it was hair, so not just pee. So you couldn't do drugs
01:51at all there. That's why you pivoted to Pep Spice and knock off marijuana. No, but there was also a
01:57time I could kind of relate to this. I had to go in for a job to take a urine drug test but I had a
02:05coffee on my way there and so I had to shit and so I had to kink the hose. So I ended up, I obviously
02:13peed while I was pooing and then I had to wait another hour until I had to pee again to take the
02:17drug test. So I can relate to Saquon, but what are the details behind this? Why I feel like there
02:22could have been a better time to drug test him here. So he went on Slave's Podcast and he said,
02:27so after the game they get me but I didn't have to pee, I had to take a shit and they were waiting
02:31for me. And you know naturally when you go to the bathroom a little piss comes out. Oh wow,
02:35exactly the same situation as me. Yeah, that's tough. That's tough. I used to get drug tested
02:41in the military and they... What would they do to you? What happens if they kick you out?
02:47Yes, are you kidding? Oh then why would you just not do drugs immediately? A lot of people did,
02:51it was a whole thing. What a hack. But they would literally be right in front, they would be like
02:58looking at your, I'll say a pussy. It was really, it was a lady. Lucky or unlucky. Yeah he says,
03:06they're waiting for me and you know naturally when you go to the bathroom a little piss come
03:08out so I had to go crack it open and handle my business. I was able to get the job done but I
03:12was like come on man it ain't that serious. Yeah I don't know if the drug test there where they have
03:16to watch you like they do in the military but that's what it sounds like. I remember asking
03:22like if I could basically be sitting on the toilet while I peed into the cup. It was a hard no for
03:28some reason but I can't believe how similar our stories were here. You're basically saying
03:33chronically. I am. People were saying that before, now it's just confirmed written in stone. Is it
03:38possible to poop without having a little pee come out? These are the questions people are asking.
03:45How? Yeah I don't know man. That should be your, you did the corn poop challenge.
03:49Try the no pee poop challenge and let us know how it goes. Like I guess if you actively like just
03:56close the nozzle. You have to be trying. Yeah yeah but like that's not,
04:00so like technically yes but like naturally. But now that I think about it there are times where
04:05I've gone number two and I like minutes later be like oh I forgot to pee while I was in there.
04:11Oh we're googling it. Yes yes huge breaking news everyone. Yes it is possible to poop without
04:16peeing but it's difficult. This is because your pelvic floor muscles. Also could you imagine if he
04:21tested positive for steroid Super Bowl week? The outrage? That's the one thing I wasn't clear on
04:26in the story. Was it this week that that happened? Like there was after a game so was it after the
04:30last game or was this like an old story? If the NFL's drug testing this week that would be such
04:35bad business practice. Hypothetically. Yeah. Hypothetically Saquon Barkley's doing PCP
04:40and they catch that. What is what happens now with the NFL? Does the doctor then be like hey
04:46the star of one of these teams who could potentially lead them to victory actually
04:52got wet last night so now he's out. What what what does an entire fan base that's traveling down here
05:00spending thousands of dollars to take us do? That's just bad for business. It cannot be this week. It
05:03was a reverse hurdle game I think and but he said how many times you've been tested this year too
05:07many times. That sucks. I also got drug tested. I went to work for my dad one summer and yeah I
05:15feel like the only reason he was like come work for me is so he could drug test me and I definitely
05:19was doing like the drink the chug the vinegar chug the whatever like I definitely somehow I
05:24passed I have no idea. You chugged vinegar? It was I've I've none of that shit. You had the fake
05:29penis he's like wait Kate when have you had a dick? Poisonator? Tough times but you know what's
05:35not tough times. Let's hear it. Kicking back relaxing with a delightful Reese's cup. Reese's
05:41peanut butter cups are the perfect combo of chocolate and peanut butter. Reese's peanut
05:44butter cups may be even more perfect with a layer of ooey gooey delicious chocolate lava. You can
05:50get Reese's cups basically anywhere. Reese's peanut butter cups will be featured in the big game.
05:55It's lava time baby. Try Reese's new delicious chocolate lava big cup. They've somehow made
06:01Reese's cups way better. Better. Which is hard. Good as is even better with the lava I know. Yes.
06:08I've been eating a ton of them. So if you tested positive for drugs would that be considered a
06:13dishonorable discharge? I don't know what it is now but back then yeah I think it was. So a
06:17dishonorable discharge could range from smoking pot to like abandoning your troops. I actually went
06:23to um my roommate at like my whatever school her last name was stoner and she ended up getting
06:30kicked out for marijuana. What? There's the military. They hear me talking about it. They're
06:36like let's get her. If you if you get a dishonorable discharge like I guess that goes in your record and
06:45stuff like that. Oh no. Generable or other general or other than honorable. So not dishonorable. Oh or dishonorable.
06:50Yeah I guess it depends. If you're just smoking a little weed when you're home on leave it's
06:54probably but if you like smoke a little PCP and then murder murder somebody. Yeah the drug
06:59should matter. The drug should matter. But if you get a dishonorable discharge
07:04as long as you don't put the military on your reference list nobody will ever know about that
07:09right? No they can look it up pretty easy. Yeah right. That's like a huge mark. Yeah
07:15because you're going to put that on your resume that you're in the military. Why? So they're
07:18going to check it. People love Southerner a little bit. Yeah but if you if I was dishonorably
07:25discharged here's what you do. Make a resume. Don't put you in the military. Just all your
07:30other jobs. Bang. You're going to make a few up. You think you can get a veteran to not talk about
07:35the military? Good luck dude. It's like CrossFit and BNV here. We're going to chat about it.
07:40NFL Referees Association. They had to put out a statement about not colluding with the Chiefs
07:46and that's great news for the Eagles on Sunday according to Jordy. So I think Jordy didn't
07:52read your reply but I would assume they feel so much pressure to not make too many calls to
07:56the Chiefs that they might go more in favor of the Byrds. Yeah the fact they had to say something.
08:02Yeah I think it's all because of media day. Like media day I think was Monday night here
08:06and you know the players get out anybody can really go in and ask them questions and they
08:09were asked a bunch about like Patrick Holmes like who's your favorite official and you know
08:14like I don't even mind your Christmas card list and stuff like that and like it got to the point
08:18where I don't know if a statement was necessary but yeah like obviously the the refs are not
08:23trying to juice the game for the Chiefs. I do think it is interesting that Phil Jackson who was
08:29the or no Pat Riley I think coined it was the coach of the Lakers when they had three championships
08:35in a row and he coined the term three-peat and the NFL reached out to him and struck a deal
08:41where if the Chiefs win this this year they will have had a three-peat and they can use that phrase
08:47as right there front of the sports. That I think is more interesting. I don't know about a lot but
08:55yeah that that's that's the phrase in sports. They're looking for a little sass right now.
09:01Harry Potter show. Calming the streets. But it's better for the NFL if the Chiefs win is that what
09:05you're saying? I don't know I mean they're just the three-peat that's an iconic phrase in sports
09:11that's so rare it rarely gets to be used. Oh so it was registered. Bumper stickers, decals,
09:20okay. Pat Riley that guy's still just raking in the dough. How old is he now? I mean he was the
09:26Knicks coach in like the mid-90s Lakers coach so he was in Showtime the HBO series and he was a
09:33young coach in like the late 70s so I don't know what's that he's born in ninth. He's old as fuck.
09:42He's 80 maybe? Ancient. 79. Bang. You know what never gets old? Raising canes. Agreed. Canes
09:51craveable chicken finger meals rally every fan together with their cooked to order chicken
09:55fingers, crispy crinkle cut fries, buttery Texas toast, and their signature cane sauce. I've been
10:00taking it like shooters. I've been crushing that stuff. Don't forget the true MVP of it all the
10:04Raising Canes tailgate. Canes chicken finger tailgates are the perfect option to feed the
10:09whole team and bring home a true victory meal especially when you add a jug of freshly squeezed
10:13lemonade or freshly brewed iced tea. Go to RaisingCanes.com to game plan your game day
10:20meal and follow along on Raising Canes social media channels for all the football fun. I've
10:24been taking sauces from here and just bringing them back to my hotel room. Smart. I have any
10:28food I bring up there. Smart. Gotta have the cane sauce with it. Yeah we had uh well I guess we'll get
10:33into last night but I had quite a night out in town. But another one on the website right now
10:40weird scene Ed Cooley charged towards a Xavier fan after the buzzer and had to be held back by
10:46assistant coaches. Apparently the guy was yelling about how he did he cheat on his wife? I believe
10:53there was a uh I think we went there to Providence or something like that and there was some guy had
10:59a sign that just said like Ed Cooley cheats on his wife which I wonder if it was the same guy
11:04uh oh here we go. A statement from head coach Ed Cooley in tonight's game an opposing team
11:11fan was verbally attacking one of my players while nothing physical happened I will always
11:16protect my players if they are threatened I have nothing but respect for Xavier and his fan base
11:20and I want to congratulate the Musketeers on the win I'm proud of how hard our players fought and
11:25now we look to the next game this Saturday as we host Seton Hall back at home very corporate but
11:31couple thoughts I guess I think I got trolled into thinking someone was saying he was cheating on his
11:34wife I think maybe I saw like a troll account and that wasn't the case if if that's my coach and
11:39someone's chirping me all game and then my coach goes to beat their ass it makes me love my coach
11:43a little more right yeah definitely you need that guy in your corner big cat has that thing that he
11:48wants to get passed in the NBA where um one time a year any player can fight a fan I love that and
11:56that just like keeps people in check a bit more I think I that would never get passed but that
12:00would be a great rule just because it is getting a little bit out of hand um guy's personal life
12:04like that sucks I also think I want to I want to climb my own world right now I think you should
12:10be able to hit one pedestrian a year with your car yeah I think pedestrians are getting way too
12:14loose out there you should be afraid of me I'm driving like a two-ton vehicle yeah people don't
12:18even look both ways when crossing the street anymore it's like how kids back in the day they
12:22wanted or not even back in the day but in college they'd always be like dude a campus bus hits you
12:27it's free tuition oh you also might die as well let's keep that in mind that's true yeah just put
12:32that on the docket for once it finally becomes legalized I'll keep that in mind Danny thank you
12:36that's lovely uh got my Jalen Carter Super Bowl MVP bet in right now oh
12:41uh put it in because we are teamed up with the Draftkings the matchup for Super Bowl 59 is set
12:47the clock is ticking to get your picks in I've already locked in a few prop bets on my favorite
12:51and only sportsbook I use my partner Draftkings sportsbook right now new customers get $200 in
12:56bonus bets instantly after betting just five dollars fade or follow all your favorite Barstool
13:00personalities picks in the Barstool betting group on the Draftkings sportsbook app check out Super
13:05Bowl 59 markets exclusively on Draftkings use code RUNDOWN at sign up that's code RUNDOWN the
13:10crown is yours uh last night big dozen tournament oh yeah how you guys feeling about who won
13:19I mean Dana I'll say it the smartest man in the company perhaps Dana's nasty at trivia he
13:25have you seen him he has a 30 minute video where he goes through the entire NBA and says what
13:32college every guy is from yeah so he has like uh a KB type brain where he can just memorize things
13:40like that um he's great I I'm a huge fan of Dana I'm happy that he won um MVP last night Booze
13:47Pony's going out on top if this is their last match together I mean he was he was incredible
13:51last night it's really fun too to see the way his brain look at this 464 guys it's fun to because he
13:59was thinking out loud on stage and it's crazy to hear the way he comes up with the right answers
14:03he's like oh I I blew my nose in a tissue box once and then this happened and then this happened
14:09and it's David Duchovny is the answer it's like how he gets from point a to point b yeah the poor
14:13man slumdog millionaire yeah it's crazy I'm officially ready to call 2025 the year of beers
14:19he was incredible on the case race he was incredible at the dozen he's on a heater right now
14:24he's getting married this year he's got a lot of good stuff going on it is the year of beers he
14:28came out to the casino with us uh me him and Jeff Deloe went after and he'd never played craps before
14:32yeah and so um he was just watching the first little bit the minimums were like crazy high
14:37and we were rolling for a bit and then it looked like the table was going to start to get hot and
14:41I was kind of telling him like okay you know the button's on this is what this means was this is
14:44what this means whatever he's like all right he's like I want to get it on a hand and so he gets
14:49and he puts his money down um and then the points established then immediately for first rolls of
14:54seven and all his money's gone he's just like all right I think that's enough for me so I'm pausing
14:59the the year of beers until we see a craps point hit many were asking you think the dozen might be
15:03a little scripted for Will Compton winning the last match going out on top interesting I mean
15:10I love Will everybody knows how many questions that will get out of that like
15:13one team going out on top yeah I mean Dan Dana was incredible last night he bested Brandon
15:19also Gruden got a standing ovation from the crowd they were all hyped up Sean Payton was there with
15:23Mintz with Ben Mintz he thought they were all standing ovation for him yeah there was a great
15:28crowd a ton of great stories a stoolie Lady Yakker made me this awesome Eagles uh Taylor Swiftie
15:34friendship bracelet uh um got you finally got your beads I finally got my beads I didn't have
15:39to do anything for it yeah there's but you still flashed her anyways right what's what's this here
15:45quick update Barstool Gruden this is from Dave oh yeah so Caitlin Clark high school jersey she wore
15:51controversy in the condo yeah wait what's happening uh Gruden gifted Dave Caitlin Clark's
15:57high school jersey yesterday and today they found out that it was in fact the wrong number
16:01so he just bought so not on purpose but he got like he got guys it's one of these like jersey
16:07stores and you know I'm sure they don't have the official light licensing from Caitlin Clark's high
16:12school but Caitlin Clark is Dave's favorite athlete uh Malasek was like oh Dave likes
16:17Caitlin Clark you should get him this so uh coach got it for him Dave was like oh it's an
16:24incredible gift took a photo but sent it to Caitlin and then Caitlin's like actually I wore 11 in high
16:30school not 22 oh my god so Dave was uh caught having a fake jersey oh that's just tough and
16:37now Gruden is blaming it on Malasek which is fair so fair yeah but I wore 11 nobody knows that
16:46you got me a fake jersey I would have embarrassed myself
16:52from the horse's mouth yes we are we are sorry so someone told you that was her high school
16:59number they're selling these these jerseys in the store instead of buying a Derek Carr
17:05Saints jersey they had a Derek Carr high school jersey Brock Bowers high school
17:10Josh Jacobs probably all fake Tom Brady they went back and they went to the high school
17:17that these guys went to exact replica jersey with their school they saw you coming a mile away
17:24like look at this sucker walking in here and they sold you the 22 Jake is the one that says now it's
17:29him it's all yeah he's the world how do I know you like Caitlin Clark like that ah Dave will love
17:37this you gotta buy this nice job Jake I saw Malasek so I came back I was walking back to the
17:46casino like I don't nothing crazy 12 30 um I was with Jeff Delo we popped into a restaurant right
17:54on the side we're getting some food on the way back and Malasek was just walking by himself down
17:58the street at 12 45 12 50 no going the opposite way of the hotel so I would like to know what
18:04time he stayed out so I saw him out last night how late we cried it was a blur but I saw him
18:09out he looked to be having a good time and so you sent a photo of Doritos and a drink to Connor at
18:171 45 in the morning with no text yes it wasn't like a you up I think it was like I just needed
18:24someone to know that I just needed to not feel alone and I just I don't honestly I don't know
18:29what my thought process how did he reply to that just I don't think he did I don't think he was
18:33awake he told me about it today he's like he texted me a photo of you I was probably trying
18:37to send it to somebody else um also I got to meet Jason Kelsey this morning and yep there I go
18:44zwink out of the room I said let me get out of this way this guy's way and not be a burden and
18:50I hate whenever I meet someone through this job that like I love my reaction is like I hope they
18:57don't see me I like run yeah so that was that was cool how how hungover were you for it yep
19:02hybrid I like literally ran into the corner but huge let me not get in your way giant hotel
19:09conference room yep how did it go you were you're stressing about this because you found out about
19:14it two days ago a day and a half ago yeah that I got to be on part of my take I guess it's out
19:19tomorrow and never heard of it never you guys heard of it it's like a sports podcast but I got
19:23to go on there and they were like you can do literally anything and so I found that out
19:29yesterday and so I'm like in my room pacing back and forth I'm like what do I do do I do like uh
19:34my first plan was this like crazy outfit change joke thing and then the next one and then I like
19:40couldn't figure it out and I yeah it was a whole thing I met him down the Jersey shore and it was
19:45super awkward so I was like I have to nail it this time and I think it ended up working out okay
19:49but uh so when we came down to crunch time as they were like interviewing I was still sitting
19:53there like fixing and figuring out what the fuck I was gonna do on the show coming coming this
19:56Friday correct you can but how about you guys you guys been getting out and about and
20:03yeah I've had uh at least a few every night here yeah I went out with stoolies last night
20:08yeah I ended up dragging like a stoolie couple through the streets with me to get yeah
20:13I planned on just having a few beers next thing you know I'm drinking absinthe neat
20:17yeah one thing led to another I had like two huge slices of pizza right after just casual
20:243,000 calorie meal at midnight so yeah things have been going pretty good all things considered
20:29this is one of those every like it's only Wednesday oh my god yeah and uh yeah I'm
20:35trying to think we have so tonight is barstool live barstool lives the rest of the week
20:40five to roughly seven yeah central I think um and that'll be at a bar somewhere I don't know
20:46off the top of my head but frat house on bourbon street okay um yeah and then rat race yep premiere
20:53tonight after that amazing and then we've got a quarterback challenge so that's a skills
20:59competition tonight and that will be airing live right okay is that a ticketed event or no that's
21:05just okay are you involved in that skills I am I think they're picking like we don't know what
21:11our roles will be we'll find out when we get there oh and you can bet on it right on yes there's a
21:16free to play on draft kings where you can um opt in the free to play and pick who you think is going
21:21to win and uh yeah I think they're divvying up a large share of money in um bonus bets oh that's
21:28awesome wow yeah that's gonna be fun I'm commentating are you doing it I'm gonna be
21:32cheerleading on a sideline actually yeah yeah I'm excited to see who wins oh all right yes it's the
21:40free to play pool for the barstool skills challenge live until Wednesday night five thousand dollars
21:47free to play pool tied to the barstool skills challenge uh tonight and it is I believe at
21:54eight o'clock central um so we're looking forward to that were you were any of you guys in rat race
21:59were you involved in that there are two rat races to go you're the one running backwards right yeah
22:04yeah I was doing social for it with uh white socks david mincy the chicago one uh mincy actually
22:10saved my life almost got hit by a car but that was only because he was running in front of a car
22:14first and I was following lucky your pedestrian rule wasn't in effect you're right you're right
22:18actually that came to bite me in the ass but yeah I wasn't involved in in this one were either of
22:23you the new orleans one that's going to be airing tonight I was not are you but I told him I want to
22:27be in the next one I actually ran into a stoolie in the airport in Chicago who happened to be in
22:31new orleans when they were filming rat race and he just said he like happened to look into a window
22:35and see tommy smokes just like drenched sitting looking like so dejected and I was like oh that
22:40was for rat race that's coming out soon yeah so that's what but apparently like the weather was
22:44tough like they had to really apparently was tough did you guys see the enormous gathering
22:49in I believe it was madison square park for tommy smokes uh drinking the diet coke yes I saw that
22:55yep how many people are people like really enjoyed it like more than you would think yeah
23:00more than you think and people were like really happy for him that he did it
23:03tommy tommy tommy tommy tommy tommy tommy i think is one of the funniest guys we have yes hands down
23:14he's very funny i'm really happy to die coke guy now i never thought i'd see the day we're a pepsi
23:19office so we're a we're a diet pepsi office in pepsi zero yeah new york go nuts new york you do
23:24you go nuts happy for tommy but uh after show you guys got anything nothing that I can think of just
23:31looking to forward to the stuff tonight afterwards i'm slipping away to the kelsey's party that
23:36they're having in town tonight so and you saw them today and i saw them today so we're i'm trying to
23:40get in the inner circle is the key in their inner circle i'm trying to infiltrate wow hanging out
23:45with the kelsey's twice in one day like one of the same beach town as me and if i can get a in
23:50and they invite me and the kids over to the beach house all the time and then we can use their
23:53bathroom when we're so it'll happen you have to leave the beach and our house is not beachfront
24:00so we we just rent and so you gotta really if you have to take a shit you need so your best
24:05case scenario tonight is by this summer you're taking a shit in jason kelsey's yes bathroom
24:12beach house dream big girl it would be you'll get the snapchat i'll be sitting on the toilet like
24:18check check it out what is your worst case scenario for tonight um oh i like spill something on kylie
24:27or i get banned from the circle somehow i dance too hard and embarrass myself i don't know but as
24:33long as i as long as i don't ban myself in the circle okay so best case scenario pooping in
24:38their beach house this summer worst case scenario changing in the bathroom tonight yeah that would
24:43be tough i'm gonna yeah so we'll see we'll see how it goes you guys got anything after after the
24:50no just still waiting on my invite to the kelsey party keep waiting if anyone knows anyone here
24:55i guess that's a rundown yeah that's rundown see you guys