さんまのお笑い向上委員会 高き壁！M-1戦士たちの大反省会！
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TVTranscript
00:00JAPAN CHAMPIONSHIP
00:02Congratulations!
00:04Congratulations!
00:06Congratulations!
00:084, 3, 2...
00:10Now,
00:12everyone is here.
00:14This is M-1.
00:16Unfortunately,
00:18Unfortunately,
00:20you didn't go to the semi-final.
00:22We didn't go to the semi-final.
00:24We didn't go to the semi-semi-final.
00:26We didn't go to the semi-semi-final.
00:28Only three rounds.
00:30Only three rounds.
00:32Oh, isn't it too many?
00:34Oh, isn't it too many?
00:36Oh, isn't it too many?
00:38I made a mistake.
00:40I made a mistake.
00:42I made a mistake.
00:44I made a mistake.
00:46But Batterees won with a blue apron.
00:48But Batterees won with a blue apron.
00:50Yes, it was great.
00:52Yes, it was great.
00:54We played DUST YEAR.
00:56We are totally different.
00:58We are totally different.
01:00You are young.
01:02You are lying.
01:04Where did you get Sanma's information?
01:06Who is the last year?
01:08We are the last year.
01:10We are also the last year.
01:12What about this time?
01:14This time, I slipped in the semi-final.
01:16I fell down.
01:18I came back and slipped a little in the semi-final.
01:20He slipped twice.
01:22He slipped twice.
01:24He slipped twice.
01:26He drinks Viagra every morning.
01:28He is strong.
01:34Tonight, he will surpass M-1.
01:36He is a comedian.
01:38He has a plan to level up.
01:40He gave us the lowest score in history.
01:42I will kill him.
01:44Don't kill him.
01:46I will kill your wife.
01:48Don't get involved.
01:50Don't get involved.
01:52I will kill you.
01:54I will kill you.
02:00And...
02:02He took a photo of my anus.
02:04Is it real?
02:06He took a photo of my anus.
02:08He took a photo of my anus.
02:10He took a photo of my anus.
02:12Episode 457
02:14Another story of M-1.
02:16Another story of M-1.
02:18Another story of M-1.
02:20One night in Aichi, Japan.
02:22You messed up the order.
02:24That's right.
02:26You messed up the order.
02:28If we get a good score in the first round,
02:30you can switch the order.
02:32If you get a good score,
02:34you have an advantage.
02:36You have an advantage.
02:38You have an advantage.
02:40You can do it.
02:42You can do it.
02:44You will give out fun.
02:46You will give out fun.
02:48What's wrong with you?
02:50What's wrong with you?
02:52There's Batteries!
02:54Batteries!
02:56There's no Ace!
02:58There's no Ace!
03:00Batteries!
03:02Don't be stupid!
03:04Don't be stupid!
03:06Be yourself!
03:08Don't be stupid!
03:10When Batteries came out,
03:12I quit being stupid and started playing as an old man.
03:14I give up.
03:16Don't give up!
03:18Jimmy is still doing it!
03:20Let's do it!
03:22Let's do it!
03:24And you!
03:26Congratulations!
03:28Thank you very much!
03:30Thank you very much!
03:32You're the girl who was talking at the board meeting, right?
03:34You're the girl who was talking at the board meeting, right?
03:36Yes, yes, yes.
03:38Yes, yes, yes.
03:40Yes, yes, yes.
03:42Yes, yes, yes.
03:44Last year,
03:46I was already married in August.
03:50Every time I was asked,
03:52I told them I was getting married this year.
03:54You lied to me for four months!
03:56You lied to me for four months!
03:58Why didn't you tell me?
04:00What's your purpose?
04:02Masanori Ross?
04:04I'm worried about Masanori Ross.
04:08Your glamour is getting worse.
04:10It's your own joke!
04:12But I was really just waiting for the right time to join.
04:21You were not wearing it?
04:24I was.
04:26That's the best part of being with her.
04:30No, this is the worst part.
04:32What?
04:34I don't want to be here.
04:36It's okay.
04:38It's really easy.
04:40We're going to have a wedding here!
04:42Right here?
04:44Let's do it!
04:46Did you have a wedding here?
04:48No, I didn't.
04:50You can't do it here!
04:52You can't do it here!
04:54Why not?
04:56What are you doing?
04:58Your wife can't watch TV.
05:00Then you can do it alone.
05:02Alone?
05:04You can do it with your wife.
05:06Bride?
05:08Do I look like my wife?
05:10No, you don't.
05:12No, I don't!
05:14You look like a potato!
05:16Why did you think that?
05:18No, I don't!
05:20I'm not getting married!
05:22Who do I look like the most?
05:24Who do I look like the most?
05:26You look like me the most.
05:28Why?
05:30You look like me.
05:32You look like me.
05:34You look like me.
05:36You look like me.
05:38I see.
05:40You look like me.
05:42You look like me.
05:44You look like me.
05:46I want to celebrate this!
05:48I want to celebrate this!
05:52You're not getting married!
05:56You look like me.
05:58I see.
06:00It's because you have these glasses.
06:02These are my eyes.
06:04That's my eye!
06:06That's my eye!
06:08You should put it on your eyes.
06:10That's my eye!
06:12That's my eye!
06:14You should put it on your eyes.
06:16Stop it!
06:18Put it on your eyes.
06:20Jinnai-san, what's today's guest?
06:22Today's guest is these guys.
06:24Welcome!
06:26Hello!
06:28Thank you!
06:30Hello!
06:32Nice fight!
06:34I drink Viagra every morning.
06:36No, no, no.
06:38Why are you reacting like that?
06:40Why are you reacting like that?
06:42Why are you reacting like that?
06:44You don't have to grab me like that!
06:46You don't have to grab me like that!
06:48Nice to meet you!
06:50Nice to meet you!
06:52I'm surprised.
06:54What place did you get?
06:56We got 6th place.
06:58We got 6th place.
07:00We still have a place to go, right?
07:02We still have a place to go, right?
07:04But the first stage is over.
07:06What do you want to do in the final?
07:08I want to change the face of Ayame Gouriki.
07:10I want to change the face of Ayame Gouriki.
07:12What?
07:14I want to see it!
07:16I want to see it!
07:18Thank you!
07:20Thank you!
07:22There is Ayame Gouriki.
07:24There is Ayame Gouriki.
07:26She is an actress.
07:28Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
07:30Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
07:32Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
07:34Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
07:36Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
07:38Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
07:40Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
07:42Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
07:44Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
07:46Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
07:48Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
07:50Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
07:52Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
07:54Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
07:56Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
07:58Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
08:00Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
08:02Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
08:04Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
08:06Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
08:08Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
08:10Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
08:12Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
08:14Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
08:16Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
08:18Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
08:20Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
08:22Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
08:24Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
08:26Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
08:28Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
08:30Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
08:32Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
08:34Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
08:36Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
08:38Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
08:40Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
08:42Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
08:44Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
08:46Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
08:48Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
08:50Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
08:52Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
08:54Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
08:56Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
08:58Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
09:00Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
09:02Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
09:04Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
09:06Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
09:08Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
09:10Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
09:12Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
09:14Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
09:16Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
09:18Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
09:20Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
09:22Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
09:24Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
09:26Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
09:28Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
09:30Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
09:32Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
09:34Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
09:36Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
09:38Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
09:40Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
09:42Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
09:44Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
09:46Did you know that you can change the face of Ayame Gouriki like Anpanman?
09:48Tomoshige!
09:50Tomoshige!
09:52Tomoshige!
09:54Tomoshige!
09:56Tomoshige!
09:58Tomoshige!
10:00Tomoshige!
10:02Tomoshige!
10:04Tomoshige!
10:06Tomoshige!
10:08Tomoshige!
10:10Tomoshige!
10:12Tomoshige!
10:14Tomoshige!
10:16It was 88 points.
10:18It was 88 points.
10:20But someone said to me,
10:22But someone said to me,
10:24So it was 25 more points to 5.
10:28We.
10:30We.
10:32We.
10:34We added the lowest ratings in the martial arts history,
10:35We.
10:37We.
10:39We.
10:41We.
10:43We.
10:45I was sent a photo of his anus.
10:47Is that real?
10:48Yes, it's real.
10:52First, we have a complaint from Mob Rider, Nishikigoi, to Tom Brown.
10:56Here it is.
10:57The Nunokawa is about to be caught.
11:00The Nunokawa?
11:02Who is it?
11:03Actually, Tom Brown is in the position where the Nunokawa is about to be caught,
11:09but he's in a state where he doesn't know where the catch is.
11:13On the inside, Michio is a pretty pure, kind-hearted monster.
11:19On the inside, the Nunokawa is also pretty strange.
11:23He will definitely come to kill.
11:28Michio is the frontman of the duo, but
11:35Tom Brown is concerned about the Nunokawa's wickedness.
11:41This is already a dangerous situation.
11:46I'm sure everyone knows about the Nunokawa,
11:51but instead of a stamp, a photo of the Nunokawa's anus was sent.
11:55Is that real?
11:56Yes, it's real.
11:58I took it, or my wife took it.
12:01That's strange.
12:03It's strange for a family.
12:04Is there a wife?
12:05First, is there a wife?
12:07Is there a wife?
12:10Is there a child?
12:11Yes, there is.
12:12Is there a wife?
12:13And the anus was so high,
12:15when I first saw it, I thought it was a nose.
12:19It's so beautiful.
12:20It's beautiful.
12:21It's beautiful.
12:22It's beautiful.
12:24I thought it was a nose,
12:25but when I got close to it, it was about to touch my face.
12:29It's a photo.
12:31I got close to the photo.
12:34It was beautiful.
12:35It was beautiful.
12:37It was beautiful.
12:38It's beautiful.
12:41And it was not a stamp.
12:43It wasn't a stamp.
12:45I asked him a question,
12:47and it wasn't a yes or no,
12:49but a yes.
12:51I was talking to him.
12:52This is the answer.
12:53This is the answer.
12:56You know,
12:57when you are a senior,
12:58you show your belly to your dog.
13:01You show your belly to your dog.
13:02I trusted you.
13:04That's the most embarrassing part.
13:05That's the most embarrassing part.
13:06That's right.
13:07And you send it to the end of the line.
13:10It's a butt, right?
13:12You're good.
13:13You're good.
13:14You're not good.
13:17You're asking me if I'm going to drink or not,
13:19but you're sending me a torture.
13:20Which one?
13:21Which one?
13:22Which one?
13:23Which one?
13:25Which one?
13:26Which one?
13:28Doesn't your wife say anything?
13:30When I took a picture of my wife,
13:32I said,
13:33You're doing well.
13:34Isn't it great?
13:36She said,
13:37Put it near the light.
13:38She said,
13:39It doesn't reflect properly.
13:40When I saw it,
13:41I thought,
13:42I'm glad I got married.
13:44What?
13:45She's a good wife.
13:46There are children in this.
13:48Do you have children?
13:49How old?
13:50Five years old.
13:51Children are just behind you on the science test!
13:52They are.
13:53Children are laughing all the time.
13:54When they go to the science test,
13:55they say,
13:56sleep!
13:57Yes.
13:58They will laugh right after the test,
13:59but our story on M-1 was a straight face.
14:01All right.
14:02Yeah, you know,
14:07how to go
14:13out of it?
14:19And
14:24I'm
14:32after touching it, the person will eat it, right?
14:35That's another good thing.
14:37You eat it too?
14:38Of course, I eat it, but it can't be helped.
14:42It can't be helped.
14:43It can't be helped.
14:43That's the only thing I eat.
14:44That's true.
14:45It's like a war.
14:47That's the only thing.
14:48It's not a war.
14:50Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
14:51It's just that I ordered it.
14:52It's just that.
14:53It's just that.
14:54It's just that.
14:55It's just that.
14:56It's just that.
14:56It's just that.
14:57It's not that.
14:57That's right, but when I touch it, it gets pretty angry.
15:00Oh, oh, oh.
15:01I don't want to be touched by myself.
15:03No, you can't do that on the street.
15:05Oh, there's a lot of things.
15:06That's right.
15:07Nuno-san, I've been on a few meals, right?
15:10I've never been touched.
15:12What?
15:12I'm sure there's something in there.
15:14Is there a war?
15:15It's sad.
15:17After all, fat people are likely to get angry, so fat people are likely to get angry.
15:22Fat people are really likely to get angry.
15:24Don't get angry, you can touch it.
15:26Please touch it, don't get angry.
15:28You eat it.
15:28No, no, fat people are likely to get angry.
15:29You can hold it.
15:30You can hold it.
15:31It's going to be a joke.
15:32It's going to be a joke.
15:33It's going to be a joke.
15:34It's going to be a joke.
15:35Nuno-san is very kind, and he's kind to his seniors, but he doesn't want to be looked down on by Michio.
15:42It's really tough.
15:43He's been a junior to the judo club for a long time.
15:45He's a junior to the judo club.
15:46He's a senior.
15:47He's a senior.
15:48I've been thinking about this all the time, and I've been arguing about which one is stronger or more interesting.
15:53I've been talking about Michio on the radio and I've been crying.
15:59Michio cried?
16:00I'm crying on the radio.
16:02What is it?
16:03The joke I proposed was, okay, let's do it.
16:07I couldn't take it when I did it at the live show.
16:10I couldn't take it.
16:11I was told to apologize, and I cried because I was frustrated.
16:13Michio is very beautiful.
16:16Why didn't you apologize?
16:18I couldn't take it.
16:19It's the middle of junior high school.
16:20It's the middle of junior high school.
16:21It's the first time I've seen someone cry over a fight between a duo.
16:24Do it back.
16:26I couldn't take it.
16:28I couldn't take it.
16:29I couldn't take it.
16:30I couldn't take it.
16:31Have you ever had a fight?
16:33I've cried about once every six months.
16:36What?
16:37For example?
16:38What do you mean?
16:39You're kidding me.
16:40You're kidding me.
16:41I don't mind being scolded, but I don't trust you at all when I'm angry.
16:50From now on, I'm just a partner at work.
16:54What are you talking about?
16:57That's harsh.
16:58That's harsh.
16:59I think that's the most effective.
17:01It's a tear for a friend.
17:03It's a tear for a friend.
17:06If you say you won't talk to me, I'll cry.
17:09You're cute.
17:11You're cute.
17:12I don't trust you.
17:13Have you ever had a fight?
17:15No, I haven't.
17:16Today, we're going to ride a tandem bicycle.
17:19You're lying.
17:20You're lying.
17:21We're going to ride a tandem bicycle.
17:23We're going to ride a tandem bicycle.
17:26I don't know what you're talking about.
17:28I had a fight on the radio.
17:30What kind of fight?
17:32Kawakita is an adult.
17:34I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
17:36We're both bad, so let's go for a walk.
17:38Kawakita said that.
17:40It's a legend.
17:42It may have been like that.
17:43Why did you have a fight?
17:45I'm married, too.
17:47I said, I'll kill your wife.
17:49You said that?
17:51Don't go for a walk.
17:53Don't go for a walk.
17:55Don't be an adult.
17:57I'll be an adult.
17:59That's possible.
18:01If you say that, it'll be true.
18:03Stop it.
18:05I won't say it.
18:07If you invite me to a story, I'll be cold.
18:09If you invite me to a story, I'll be cold.
18:11If you invite me to a story, I'll be cold.
18:13I won't do it.
18:15If you tell me what to do in a story,
18:17If you tell me what to do in a story,
18:19Kawakita will be silent.
18:21You'll be able to leave the band.
18:24You're an actor.
18:26I said to Kawakita,
18:28You said to Kawakita,
18:30Kawakita never cries.
18:34Kawakita never cries.
18:36I've only seen him angry.
18:38I've only seen him angry.
18:40I've never seen him angry at something funny.
18:42nose hair or beautiful nose
18:44I'm an old man.
18:46We agreed.
18:48We agreed.
18:50I'm
18:55not
19:00gonna
19:05do that.
19:10I'm
19:15not
19:20gonna
19:25do that.
19:30I'm
19:35not
19:40gonna
19:45do that.
19:50I'm
19:55not gonna
20:00do that.
20:05I'm
20:10not
20:15gonna
20:20do that.
20:25I'm
20:30not
20:35gonna
20:40do that.
20:45I'm
20:50not
20:55gonna
21:00do that.
21:05I'm
21:10not
21:15gonna
21:20do that.
21:25I'm
21:30not
21:35gonna
21:40do
21:45that.
21:50I'm
21:55not
22:00gonna
22:05do that.
22:10I'm
22:15not
22:20gonna
22:25do that.
22:30I'm
22:35not
22:40gonna
22:45do that.
22:50I'm
22:55not
23:00gonna
23:05do that.
23:10I'm
23:15not
23:20gonna
23:25do that.
23:30I'm
23:35not
23:40gonna
23:45do that.
23:50I'm
23:55not
24:00gonna
24:05do that.