Every guy is different and attracted to different traits, but on the whole, a lot of the things you might have been taught are attractive are actually turning them off. At the end of the day, it's important to remember to be yourself because if it turns out that you were dishonest about yourself, it can hurt a relationship. It might be easy to speak badly of an ex, and while the conversation about previous relationships will need to happen eventually, it's a definite turn-off if you do it too much. Let's take a look at some surprising things that guys find unattractive.
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00:00While you may be doing everything in your power to attract a mate, it may surprise you
00:05to learn that some of your actions and behaviors can actually have the opposite effect on the
00:10opposite sex.
00:11In fact, you may not even realize that you're acting in a way that drives men away when
00:15all you're really trying to do is draw them closer.
00:19In order to take control of the situation and truly attract the right guys, avoid these
00:23mistakes.
00:24Hopefully, you'll grab his attention rather than be left empty-handed.
00:29Overdoing the makeup and hair
00:31Everyone knows that loading up on makeup makes you look your most attractive, right?
00:36Wrong.
00:37As it turns out, piling on the stuff is not always appealing to guys.
00:40You wear too much eye makeup.
00:44My sister wears too much.
00:48People think she's a whore.
00:49A study in the Quarterly Journal of Experimental Psychology revealed that women tend to overestimate
00:55the amount of makeup that men find attractive.
00:58As a result, many women end up applying way too much.
01:01In other words, less is truly more when it comes to makeup's role in attraction.
01:06It's in your best interest to opt for a more natural look as opposed to caking it on for
01:10the guy you're sweet on.
01:12The same is true for your hair, too.
01:15While you may spend a lot of time — and money — trying to perfect the intricate
01:19updos and complicated styles that you see in magazines and on television, it turns out
01:24men aren't attracted to overly done and processed hair.
01:27In fact, a survey by Pantene revealed that 78 percent of men are drawn to women with
01:32shiny, full, healthy-looking hair, rather than hair that's been overly styled and manipulated.
01:38Specifically, loose curls and wavy hair are considered more appealing to men than excessively
01:42flat-ironed, slick, straight hair and complex updos.
01:46So, opting for low-maintenance hair will yield high results when it comes to attracting members
01:51of the opposite sex.
01:52You think I'm gorgeous?
01:53What?
01:54I don't think you're gorgeous.
01:56You think I'm gorgeous?
01:59You want to kiss me?
02:02Being a gossip
02:04It might seem fun to share the latest rumors, scandals, and stories involving the lives
02:08of your friends, family, and co-workers with a guy.
02:11But being a gossip is actually a major turnoff.
02:14Sure, you may intend to try to open the lines of communication with him and keep him in
02:18the loop.
02:19But it's giving him the lowdown on other sordid deeds that actually makes you come across
02:24as having low self-esteem.
02:25If you're looking to attract men, you should keep in mind that guys are drawn to women
02:29who are confident, value themselves, and don't put others down as a way to lift themselves
02:34up.
02:35So the next time you're trying to dish to him about all of your friend's dirty laundry,
02:38you should try to clean up your act instead.
02:42Bad-mouthing your ex
02:44You may think that bad-mouthing your ex around a new guy is a good decision, but this kind
02:49of negative behavior actually makes you look bad instead.
02:53Maybe you're trying to show a guy how much you're over your last beau, but constantly
02:57criticizing your ex isn't attractive.
02:59After all, not only does your need to put down your ex make you come across as spiteful
03:03and juvenile, but your unrelenting fixation on your ex makes it seem as though you're
03:08still harboring feelings for him.
03:10Further, bad-mouthing your ex also shows any potential love interest that he could be next.
03:15So rather than talking smack about your ex and venting about all the ways he wronged
03:19you, leave the past in the past so you can attract Mr. Right in the here and now.
03:25Being too needy
03:27When it comes to attracting men, it's important to recognize that men want to feel as though
03:31they're needed.
03:32Specifically, men want to know that they add value to your life and that they're not superfluous,
03:37expendable, or disposable.
03:39However, many women mistakenly respond to a man's desire to feel needed by becoming
03:43overly needy themselves, not to mention jealous and desperate to spend every waking moment
03:49with him — all of which are anything but appealing behaviors to guys.
03:53"...and make sure to call me right when you get to the hotel, not like that conference
03:57in Phoenix.
03:58I had to wait two hours for you to call me."
04:00So if you're someone who tends to become clingy and emotionally dependent on a man because
04:04you think it'll bring him closer and inspire him to stick around, know that you're actually
04:09just pushing him away.
04:10On the other hand…
04:12Playing hard to get
04:14While it's true that men are drawn to outgoing, assertive women, there's a fine line between
04:19being independent and being unavailable.
04:22Some women think that playing hard to get and acting in a distant and disengaged way
04:26can help attract a guy, but you're making a mistake by not making time for him.
04:30In fact, playing games can make you seem immature and can give off the impression that you're
04:35not yet ready, willing, or interested in getting to know him on a deeper and more meaningful
04:39level.
04:40Acting detached and aloof doesn't increase your allure.
04:43Instead, it makes you come across as uninterested, flaky, and just plain annoying.
04:48Playing hard to get is an easy way to strike out with a guy.
04:53Playing the damsel in distress
04:55Many childhood fairy tales would have you believe that men are attracted to overly dramatic
05:00women in need of rescuing.
05:02But let's turn the page on this outdated way of thinking.
05:05In reality, men aren't interested in drama, and if you take the woe-is-me approach in
05:10the hopes of attracting a guy, you may be sad to see that seeking his attention by playing
05:14the victim will only make you appear desperate and overdramatic.
05:18Don't try to catch his eye by making catastrophes of certain situations, hoping it'll entice
05:23him to come and save you.
05:24Instead, you should save yourself the trouble by engaging in exercises that can help to
05:28boost your self-esteem, as well as learning effective problem-solving strategies that
05:33can help you to become more self-sufficient.
05:35If you want to attract your very own Prince Charming, acting like queen drama is the wrong
05:40approach.
05:42Being a party girl
05:44You may think that being the kind of gal who's down for whatever, goes out nonstop, and is
05:49always looking for a good time is the way to attract a man.
05:52But being an out-of-control party animal can come back to bite you.
05:55In fact, most men try to stay away from party girls because these women have a tendency
06:00to act recklessly, make poor decisions, and put themselves and others in uncomfortable
06:05and potentially harmful situations.
06:07Men are certainly interested in women who are confident, outgoing, and who like to have
06:11fun.
06:12But most guys will draw the line when it comes to women who throw caution to the wind and
06:16are always looking to party hard no matter the circumstances.
06:20Rather than coming off as careless and immature, you should opt to party responsibly and enjoy
06:24the positive responses you'll see from the guys around you.
06:29Always agreeing with him
06:30Believe it or not, always agreeing with a man can be a major turnoff.
06:35Don't be afraid to state your own opinions.
06:37Be willing to disagree with him.
06:39Don't avoid any conflict because you believe it'll drive him away.
06:42It's actually a lack of openness, honesty, and authenticity that'll do just that.
06:47After all, being able to express your true thoughts and feelings is what helps to strengthen
06:51your connection and enables you to get to know each other on a deeper, more intimate
06:55level.
06:56The key is to be your true self.
06:58That way, you can attract the right man who appreciates the person you really are and
07:02not the person you think he wants you to be.
07:04Remember, a guy isn't looking for a clone, so you should stop playing the part if you
07:08want to be part of his life.