The best on-screen insults often take a permanent place in popular culture. These are some of the classics. Grab a pen and take notes: You may want to borrow one of these lethal zingers in the future.
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00:00The best on-screen insults often take a permanent place in popular culture.
00:04These are some of the classics.
00:05Grab a pen and take notes.
00:07You may want to borrow one of these lethal zingers in the future.
00:10The Princess Bride is packed with quotable quotes, many of which have become cultural
00:14staples.
00:15It says it all, but it's not an insult.
00:25Those are mostly directed at Prince Humperdinck.
00:27The film builds to his climactic downfall, but it doesn't play out as expected.
00:31He doesn't die at the end, but his romantic rival does kill.
00:34To the death!
00:35No!
00:36To the pain!
00:37No surprise, Humperdinck doesn't get it.
00:40I'll explain.
00:41And I'll use small words that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog-faced buffoon.
00:47Humperdinck is cut to the quick, thrown completely off guard, and basically incensed.
00:51He's also an idiot.
00:53Stanley Kubrick hired R. Lee Ermey, a legit Vietnam War-era drill instructor, to play
00:57gunnery sergeant Hartman in Full Metal Jacket.
01:00Hartman's rants and insults in the film are taken directly from Ermey's experience in
01:03the Marine Corps, and Kubrick incorporated everything Ermey told him into the script.
01:08The film opens with several minutes of Hartman dissecting his new recruits, like a coroner
01:12performing an autopsy.
01:13The insults are both brutal and surgical, each one perfectly worded and delivered.
01:17You are nothing but unorganized, gravestick pieces of amphibian s----."
01:22That said, two exchanges are genuinely iconic.
01:25The first comes when he addresses Private Cowboy, asking,
01:27"'How tall are you, Private?'
01:29"'Sir, five foot nine, sir!'
01:30"'Five foot nine?
01:31I didn't know they stacked s---- that high.'"
01:34It's quick and funny, but it pales in comparison to his best insult, which he delivers to the
01:38private he calls Gomer Pyle.
01:40Upon seeing him, he asks,
01:41"'Did your parents have any children that lived?'
01:44"'Sir, yes, sir!'
01:45"'I bet they regret that!
01:46You're so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece.'"
01:49There's a good chance you've seen a clip of the best insult in Billy Madison, even if
01:53you've never seen the film.
01:54It's been memed all over the internet, and is one of the best retorts to an incredibly
01:58idiotic statement a character has ever made.
02:00In the film, Billy is the childish 27-year-old heir to a massive fortune.
02:04His father will only turn over his hotel company if Billy repeats all 12 grades of school by
02:08spending two weeks in each.
02:10The rich can set anything up, so Billy heads back to school.
02:13As he's nearing graduation, he challenges Eric, who would inherit the company should
02:17Billy fail, to a winner-takes-all academic decathlon.
02:20It doesn't bode well when Billy gives a moronic answer to the opening question.
02:23"'Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have
02:29ever heard.
02:31Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it.'"
02:35Most comedies, including Animal House, are products of their time with cultural expiration
02:39dates, but Animal House never gets old.
02:41The cast is brilliant, the direction stellar, and perhaps most important, the script is
02:45tight and funny without being dated.
02:47The members of Delta House and their pledges are the source of mayhem on campus, and the
02:51Dean has had enough.
02:52Toward the end of the film, the Dean drops a bomb on Flounder.
02:55"'Fat, drunk, and stupid' is no way to go through life, sir."
02:58The Silence of the Lambs follows Clarice Starling, an FBI trainee assigned to find and stop a
03:02serial killer named Buffalo Bill, with the assistance of psychiatrist, cannibal, serial
03:07killer, Dr. Hannibal Lecter.
03:09It's spooky the way Lecter sees through people, and Starling is no exception.
03:13When they first meet, he delivers a withering monologue that metaphorically slices her down
03:17the middle and puts her insides on display.
03:19"'You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes?
03:23You look like a rogue, but you're not more than one generation from poor, wired trash,
03:28are you, Agent Starling?'
03:29Erin Brockovich tells the true story of the activist's journey from near-bankruptcy to
03:33becoming a voice for the people.
03:35Brockovich is all rough edges and doesn't hesitate to speak truth to power when necessary.
03:40What she isn't is a lawyer, so when a corporate attorney dares to condescend to her, it doesn't
03:44go well.
03:45"'Okay, look, I think we got off on the wrong foot here.
03:47That's all you got, lady.
03:49Two wrong feet and f-----g ugly shoes.'"
03:51The Hangover is one of those perfectly strung-together comedies that manages to up the ante with
03:55each scene, building to an epic finish.
03:58And it features exceptional insults, two of which must be included in any list of the
04:02greatest movie disses.
04:03The first comes from Ed Helms' Stu, who asks Zach Galifianakis' Alan how a tiger wound
04:07up in their bathroom.
04:08"'It's one of the side effects of Rufus' memory loss.
04:14You were literally too stupid to insult.'"
04:16That really stings, but great movie insults don't have to be funny.
04:20They can be so true that they stab the receiver in the heart.
04:22Take, for example, Stu's abusive girlfriend, Melissa, who just won't let up.
04:26"'You're such a bad person, like, all the way through to your core.'"
04:31Roxanne is a modern retelling of Cyrano de Bergerac, with Steve Martin as C.D. Bales,
04:36the man with the enormous nose.
04:38After a lifetime of teasing, C.D. has found a way of coping, by being the first, and best,
04:42to call out his problematic proboscis.
04:44For instance, when a dude calls him big-nosed, C.D. scoffs at his lack of imagination and
04:49bets he can out-insult him, launching a barrage of self-deprecation.
04:52And while they're all pretty good, these three rule.
04:55"'Passionate.
04:56You know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore something larger, like, Wyoming.'
05:00"'Humorous.
05:01Laugh, and the world laughs with you.
05:05Sneeze, and it's goodbye, Seattle.'
05:07"'Polite.
05:08Would you mind not bobbing your head?
05:12The orchestra keeps changing tempo.'"
05:16In Crazy Rich Asians, crazy-rich Astrid learns that her husband, Michael, has been cheating
05:20on her, and confronts him about it.
05:22Michael blames his infidelity on the fact that he comes from humble beginnings, where
05:25his wife was born wealthy.
05:27But Astrid sees him for the coward he is, and comes to a visceral and liberating realization.
05:31"'It's not my job to make you feel like a man.
05:35But I can't make you something you're not.'"
05:38While we're on the topic of heckling, let's talk about Eddie Murphy's 1996 remake of The
05:42Nutty Professor.
05:43In the film, Murphy's character Sherman Clump is obese until he develops a weight loss formula,
05:48drops 250 pounds, and sprouts a smooth, lady-killing alternate personality who calls himself Buddy
05:53Love.
05:54Murphy's then on a date to a comedy club to see put-down comedian Reggie Jackson, played
05:58by Dave Chappelle.
05:59"'Oh boy, you got more crack than Harlem, look at that!'
06:05But in an act of pure revenge, Buddy returns to flip the table, totting insults like ninja
06:09throwing stars from the audience.
06:10"'Hey man, what's wrong with that breath?
06:12I can smell it over here!
06:13Reggie, your breath is so stink people look forward to your fart!'
06:18The Long Kiss Goodnight follows Geena Davis as Samantha Cain, an amnesiac teacher on a
06:22quest to recover her identity.
06:24To this end, she hires private detective Mitch Hennessey, played by Samuel L. Jackson.
06:28Over the course of the film, Cain discovers that she's a highly-skilled government assassin,
06:32and her handlers want her back.
06:33This happens as she and Hennessey kick some serious ass, sometimes each other's.
06:37"'You're always this stupid, Eddie.
06:39You take lessons!'
06:40"'I took lessons!'
06:41Though Gone With the Wind has deservedly a controversial legacy, some of the dialogue
06:45is exceptional.
06:46Set against the backdrop of the Civil War, the film is about a love triangle, at least
06:50in the mind of Scarlett O'Hara.
06:51She tortures herself over her unrequited love for Ashley Wilkes while toying with her
06:55true love, Rhett Butler.
06:57When she finally realizes she's loved Rhett all along, it's far too late.
07:01"'Where shall I go?
07:02What shall I do?'
07:03"'Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.'"
07:06The Marx Brothers' Doug Soup is a pre-code comedy masterpiece that still holds up today.
07:11And at the center of the story is Groucho, firing insults willy-nilly at his brothers
07:15— in character, of course.
07:16Groucho, as Rufus T. Firefly, has just been made president of the nation of Freedonia,
07:21which has been infiltrated by two spies, Pinky and Ciccolini, and they're on trial
07:25for espionage, with Groucho as prosecutor.
07:28"'Gentlemen, Ciccolini here may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't
07:32let that fool you.
07:33He really is an idiot.'"
07:35What's the best movie ever made?
07:37Depends on who you ask, but two films sit at the top of nearly every list, Citizen Kane
07:41and Casablanca.
07:42Casablanca isn't just a near-perfect film, it also features some of the greatest dialogue
07:46in movie history.
07:47"'That plane leaves the ground, and you're not with him, you'll regret it.
07:50Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.'"
07:53They don't write movies like that anymore.
07:55One of the film's central plot threads hinges on the acquisition of letters of transit,
07:59used to move freely through German-occupied territory.
08:02We learn in the opening scenes that couriers carrying those letters met an untimely end.
08:06Peter Lorre's character now has them, and Bogart needs them.
08:09"'You despise me, don't you?'
08:10"'Hell, if I gave you any thought, I probably would.'"
08:13These days, cursing is commonplace, but back in the 1930s and 40s, writers had to get creative,
08:19making for some immortal movie insults.
08:21Take The Women, for example.
08:22The film was written by women and featured more than 130 speaking roles, all played by
08:27women.
08:28In other words, the shade was gonna fly.
08:30Every insult is pure gold, but Joan Crawford as homewrecker Crystal Allen has the honor
08:34of delivering the best dig in the movie.
08:36And by the way, there's a name for you ladies, but it isn't used in high society, outside
08:42of a kennel.