Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a guy who tried to force a woman to start an OnlyFans page and realized we might be entering the realm of nerd pimps who try to extort people virtually.
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00:00A guy kidnapped a woman and threatened violence unless she opened an OnlyFans.
00:13You're so hot.
00:15I need you to stop watching.
00:17Do it, please.
00:18God, I need to pay you once a month.
00:20I need to give you all of my money.
00:23My God, you're hot.
00:25Please.
00:27So weird.
00:29Man, I never thought that pimping was going to take a technological turn.
00:34Yeah, I guess that's the new way.
00:36That is technically what it is.
00:37Honestly, that is.
00:38It kind of was.
00:39You're online pimping.
00:41Yeah, you're going to do the OnlyFans.
00:43You're going to do these videos, and then I'm going to take all the money.
00:46Right, because strip clubs shut down, and people aren't making the traditional pimping money.
00:55Pimps took a hit, I think.
00:57Pimps, coronavirus.
01:00Yeah, I mean, pimps took a hit, right?
01:02Everyone went online.
01:04Everyone went virtual with all their whoring.
01:06Man, oh, man.
01:06So the pimps weren't getting a cut of that.
01:08Pimping wasn't easy.
01:11It was not.
01:11No, not that year.
01:12No.
01:12There's really no need for a pimp anymore.
01:15You don't.
01:16No.
01:16Pimps are really struggling.
01:18It's the worst time to be a pimp.
01:20It's hard out there for one.
01:21Yep.
01:22It is.
01:23Yep.
01:23So, well, yeah.
01:25I never thought of that, too.
01:26You force people to do this stuff online instead of in person, but you need to cut up their
01:31money when they do it then.
01:32And we don't know anything.
01:33The difference is, the pimp service they provided is not the pimp service that's needed.
01:39That's what I'm saying.
01:39They're obsolete.
01:40Yeah.
01:40There's no need for them.
01:41I don't know what the, because there are virtually no benefits to an internet pimp.
01:48No.
01:49I can't see any.
01:50No, there are not.
01:51Unless he's, like, real good at cybersecurity.
01:53I was going to say super great at IT.
01:55I don't think so.
01:56You know I'm a great IT person?
01:58Baby, Norton Antivirus.
02:00Your computer's down?
02:01What are you going to do?
02:03I'm the best pimp there is.
02:03Here comes your pimp.
02:06Good at cybersecurity.
02:07I got more RAM.
02:08Graphics car.
02:11Isn't that crazy?
02:13Like, the biggest of the nerds become the pimps.
02:15Yeah, exactly.
02:17What a flip upside down world.
02:18I don't know.
02:19Put in that Norton Antivirus.
02:21You should probably bitch pay my money.
02:24Bitch better have my money.
02:26Nerd fix.
02:30I totally just upgraded your webcam, so bitch better have my money.
02:40I'm only going to ask you one more time.
02:47And then I'm going to seriously, like, leave a Yelp review or something.
02:52I don't see any pop-ups, and I don't see any money.
02:54There's a problem with that bitch.
02:57Also, I'm starting to think, like, what can they do?
02:59They can't physically brute their way through anything, but they'll attack your whole computer system.
03:05Exactly.
03:05It'd be a real shame if your whole system got a virus.
03:08That would suck, wouldn't it?
03:09Your computer got ruined?
03:11Turn off your Wi-Fi.
03:12Yeah.
03:12Oh, jeez.
03:13Spotty Wi-Fi.
03:14That's how they'd get you, right?
03:20I mean, I never thought about it.
03:22But yes, nerds hold all the cards right now.
03:26Yeah, they really do.
03:27We're about to enter the future of nerd pimps.
03:30Yeah.
03:31Nerd pimps.
03:32Because, listen, a lot of these OnlyFan whores, they'd never know how to correct an IT problem.
03:38No, it's very hard.
03:38Most people don't know how to do anything.
03:40They could hold their accounts hostage until they pay up.
03:42If a super nerd knocked on my door and was like, hey, so your internet's going to get
03:47pretty bad unless I get paid a $5 monthly fee.
03:51Yeah.
03:51And I'm like, I'm not paying you anything.
03:54And then all of a sudden, my internet sucks real bad.
03:56I'm like, oh, come back.
03:57Well, well, well.
03:58Oh, look who it is.
04:00I'm here.
04:01I take my money.
04:02It's $30 a month now.
04:03Oh, God.
04:04I should have said yes to your initial offer.
04:07That's right.
04:08The nerd mafia.
04:09Yeah, that's what it is.
04:11Yeah.
04:12No one's thought of it yet.
04:13No, hopefully we didn't give them any ideas.
04:15No, we just did.
04:15Nerds everywhere uniting right now.