Therapy Thursday 9-17-20
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00:00Which therapist you need? Therapy Thursday. Now on Wild 94.1. I understand therapy. Hi everybody. Hi Dr. Nick. Hi. Hey. What up? It's your freak show. Doctors now. Dr. Davi is here. Hello sir. Meredith MD is here. Hi ma'am. How are you doing sir? I'm doing fantastic. Orlando BGYN holding down over here. We got an open phone line for you. 888-429-0941.
00:27You can get therapy Thursday. A pop in with 60 second sessions. All right. So you get 60 seconds of brilliance from one of us to maybe answer a question that you've had. All right. Let's see where we at. Let's see here. This is Brittany. Brittany. Hey. How you doing this morning? Hi. I'm good. Pretty good. Let's see here. You want Dr. Davi. You got him. What's your question?
00:49What's your question? Okay. So I'm talking to this guy. Like I'm, you know how you know somebody from back in high school? Like you never talk to them, but you see them in passion all the time. Right. So that's our situation. Um, we've been, he's okay. So he stays in North Carolina and I'm here in Florida. My question is like, he's a great guy. He's everything I've ever asked for. And man, as far as, you know, we've been talking, video chatting, things like that.
01:19I'm all the way there. And I'm all the way here. I have a child. He doesn't have kids. Like, should I pursue it? Um, on, on its face from what you're saying? I don't see why not. If you're okay with a long distance relationship and he is too, then you guys can figure out a way to make it work. A lot of people make it work. Now, does it put its own little unique set of challenges? Absolutely. So I think if, if he really is, but don't, at the
01:49same time, don't have too high expectations of somebody that you're just kind of on the phone with somebody that you're just kind of texting with and not really dealing with day in and day out. Don't have the, but don't let your hesitation and your apprehension keep you from pursuing something that could be great. A lot of people make long distance relationships work, but just take it slow and just don't have your hopes to,
02:19too high. You know, if at some point you guys want to meet up and start doing like that and taking trips, take it slow, but just don't, don't have too high hopes, but go for it. Don't let the distance come between you and a great thing. Okay. Gotcha. Virtual love. Right there, Brittany. Take care. Let's see here. You usually, you usually a relationship crusher, right? But you can hear in her voice. She sounded real.
02:49Yeah. Yeah. You don't want to kill that. Don't want to kill that for her. Meredith MD, you ready? Yeah. Let's see here. Meredith, my man is out of the A13. My man keeps going through my phone. When I leave the room, he never finds anything. But to me, that is the ultimate invasion of privacy. And he feels he has the right. We've been together for three years and he always feels the need to have some sense of control.
03:19You got to shut that down immediately and not put up with that at all. Cause I don't, I personally don't go through my man's phone. And if you're in a relationship where you're constantly checking each other's stuff like that is, you're never going to trust. I mean, he obviously has some issues. So, I mean, I don't, I, I would absolutely put my foot down and be like, you can not go through my phone. You see that I'm not doing anything. We've been together for three years and you have, I don't know, something made up in your head that I'm cheating on you or whatever.
03:49It's only going to get worse over time because he's going to constantly go through your phone and then your email. And then he's going to keep going until he finds something. And even if it's the smallest little, little tiny thing, like some guy flirted with you and your DM and you didn't even do anything, it's going to be thrown into your face. It's your fault. And it's just going to turn into a huge mess. So my personal opinion is you better tell him to stop doing that. Cause you're, you, it's not going to have a successful relationship whatsoever. You have to trust each other at some point. Okay. Meredith MD.
04:18Would you put up with that? Shut it down. I, I personally don't like the phone thing. I just, I think it's all any intrusion though. If it was a diary, if it was a phone, if it was your mail, I just think the stuff that's yours is yours. Yeah. You know, and you, and you can share any of that information. Like, Hey babe, look what I got, you know, and hand it to him. But, but just like people going through your stuff, it feels kind of janky. No, especially, especially he's sneaking around and going through your phone and he's never found anything in three years.
04:47You can't just let him and just like laugh it off. It's not okay. Not that she's doing that. I'm just saying it's not funny.
04:53The, the, the text said that he never found anything and you said it too. So how many times can you check?
05:00And cause I mean, if you're saying that he's never found nothing, that gives you kind of the right. It's clearing you to check. It's saying, Hey, I've checked. I've never found anything. So I should stop. So I'm, you know, I don't like checking from the beginning. Cause I think it's an intrusion.
05:13Yeah. So the finding thing is like, some people can do it. Some people do it. They'll do it like once just to, I'm not saying it's right, but they'll do it once just to see if anything's going on and then be like, Ooh, okay. I thank God nothing happened. And they'll never do it again.
05:26So he didn't go that route for somebody with that level of insecurity. It'll never be enough. There'll never be a, I'm going to stop.
05:32Cause you'd be like, I didn't catch you on a good week. I'm going to catch you.
05:35He's still controlling. Yeah. I'll put a GPS on her car.
05:40Hey guys. How you doing? I've never been live on why I'm 94.1 before. How you doing?
05:45No problem, man. What's going on? Hey guys, listen, I'm moving away from, from you guys, central Florida, Windermere, Florida.
05:56And, um, my mom signed another job. Oh, basically South Florida. And, oh, so you're moving to South Florida.
06:05Yeah. Basically I'm depressed and lots of it, lots of anxiety. And, um, and I've been basically raised over there. And basically I got bullied many times.
06:19Okay. And you're moving back into the situation, into the area that you got bullied in.
06:24Yes. Okay. But do you, do you feel like you're a stronger person now than when that was happening? How long ago was that?
06:35Well, well, basically I'm half percent, half percent, half percent stronger than I was.
06:44Well, I'm trying to defend, defend myself. Like, like now, like now I'm, I'm learning how, how to face, face my feet, face my fears in order, in order to go back.
06:58Alex, change is scary. Change is scary for, for anybody, a new job, a new house, a new area code. It's something that we all get a little bit nervous about, but history doesn't have to repeat itself.
07:14Just because you were bullied back then when you were in that situation, doesn't mean that that's going to happen now. Find yourself, you know, a, a, a, a friends group or people that care about you.
07:26And, you know, guys, you can, you can help me with, with this, um, with, with bullying.
07:33Oh, it's not just bullying. Um, as somebody that has traveled around a lot growing up, being the new person is scary, but it also makes you a stronger person.
07:41You don't have to walk into a room and just think that you are going to be frightened or people are going to judge you right off the bat.
07:47I mean, um, you know, going to a new classroom or a friend's group, there are always people that are willing to accept you for who you are.
07:55And, uh, those are the people that you need to kind of look for because there are going to be mean people.
08:00You got to be aware that there are people out there that are just going to judge you and, and not like you for who you are and all that stuff.
08:06But there are also other people that are loving and caring and will not bully you or anything like that.
08:10So just know that there's two sides to everything.
08:12Also, Alex, you want to just make sure you don't put the weight on your shoulders beforehand.
08:16Like, you know, the, and the anxiety and it kind of builds up when you like, man, I'm going back to this place where I've had these issues before, you know, you're coming back a different person.
08:25You, you, you look at it differently and you don't know who you're going to bump into.
08:29You might be shortchanging the people that you are going to be, you know, um, you know, blessed to meet.
08:34So, you know, just handle the problems as they come instead of building up the anxiety before you get there, you know, kind of like walking into it a little easy, breathing a little better and, you know, ready to receive, you know,
08:46the kindness that might come, uh, before just assuming that you're going to have the, the other experiences.
08:52Okay.
08:53Yes.
08:54All right.
08:55Well, I mean, and, and, and, and anytime you want to listen to us, we're still available on the app on your phone.
08:59So where you, if, even if you're down in South Florida, you can still listen every morning.
09:03Okay.
09:04Okay.
09:05Thank you guys so much.
09:06All right, man.
09:07We appreciate it, Alex.
09:08Thanks, man.
09:08Good luck.
09:09It's hard moving to a new place like that.
09:10Yeah.
09:11Yeah.
09:11Especially when you're walking in like scared.
09:13Cause man, you're like last time I was here, I was going through it.
09:15Yeah.
09:15That's crazy.
09:16I got one.
09:17Do we have a call or do I, I got one.
09:18I got, I got John on the phone.
09:20Hey, John, how you doing this morning?
09:22I'm doing good.
09:23How you doing?
09:23Pretty good.
09:24You got Meredith MD, man.
09:25You wanted to question.
09:26Go ahead.
09:27Yeah, I got one.
09:28Meredith, congratulations on having a baby.
09:30First off.
09:32You're welcome.
09:33Second off, my wife, well, I have a stepdaughter and she wants a mini stove.
09:39Now, a slight back history, she wanted an American Girl doll bed and I built her a box and, you
09:45know, I'm not the most artistic with my hands.
09:47So, and she loved it, but now she wants a mini stove, like one of those easy bake ovens.
09:52Okay.
09:52Now, I told my wife, I said, listen, I can build a nice stove, like a four burner.
09:56You could shove candles in there and she doesn't think it's a good idea.
10:00So, should I buy one or should I just build one?
10:03Okay.
10:06Yeah, I know.
10:06I hear you guys.
10:08That's very sweet of you.
10:09I like a man that can actually build something and I think it's very thoughtful.
10:14Let's listen to your daughter here.
10:15What she wants is like an easy bake oven.
10:17An alternative to that, if you don't want something that's so kiddish is, I don't know
10:21her age, so I'm assuming she's going to be a little bit older.
10:24You could also go the route of like, what is it, like the mini ovens that people have
10:29in their kitchens?
10:30Why am I going blank right now?
10:31I have one in my kitchen too, like the one on top of the counter.
10:34So, you can have one of those as well.
10:37But I would listen to your daughter.
10:38I mean, she wants an easy bake oven.
10:39She probably wants to make some brownies and stuff like that and it's because of the packaging
10:42and it's because of the way it looks and not necessarily because of what you could make.
10:47Now, what you can make with your hands, dollhouses, stuff that's like actually maybe something
10:52a little cooler that instead of buying it.
10:55So, I would say don't buy it.
10:57She's trying to be nice, John.
10:57She's saying don't force your gift, dog.
10:59Don't force your gift on the kid.
11:01The kid wants the one that every other kid, when you go in their room, you see the one
11:05with the stickers and it's the easy bake oven.
11:07That they can brag about.
11:08That's the one at the toy store or at the dot com.
11:11You come in and you got the candles under it.
11:14You know, the candles, you know, even though it was made with love, like they're going to
11:18be looking at you like, what is this?
11:19Are you giving the kid matches?
11:20What the hell is this box?
11:22What were you cooking?
11:23Rabbits?
11:23What the hell?
11:24So, you know, she's looking for the gloss.
11:27You know, like you can make other things and she's going to lean on you for that.
11:31But for this one, she's looking for the...
11:33She wants a toy.
11:34She wants the toy.
11:34Yeah.
11:35She wants a brag.
11:36All right.
11:36I got you guys.
11:38You're good, man.
11:39Your heart's in the right place, though.
11:41Wow.
11:41That's like...
11:42It's almost like when Eddie Murphy's like, I want McDonald's.
11:46And his mom's like, I can make you better than me.
11:48And it ain't.
11:49They don't come out.
11:49They're sexy.
11:50It's like, you know, his heart's in the right place.
11:52But don't build me no easy.
11:53A toaster oven.
11:54That's what I was thinking of.
11:55Don't build me no easy maker.
11:56We got time for one more?
11:57Yeah, we'll squeeze one more.
11:58Out to 863 for you, big dog.
12:00It says, I've been in a relationship for seven years.
12:02I've been telling him for six years to get his passport renewed.
12:06He hasn't done it yet.
12:07Now we are in a long-distance relationship, and I feel like we are growing apart.
12:11He comes to visit one week out of the month.
12:14I don't know if I can continue with no way we can move forward.
12:18Please help.
12:20Oh, wow.
12:22Well, I mean, once a month, that's a lot.
12:25Distance is hard.
12:26But, I mean, it's like it can work.
12:28It can happen.
12:29Especially we talked about the fact that virtual is now a new thing.
12:33So, you know, concentrate on what's working.
12:36But, honestly, if he wasn't able to really live up to what you need now, it might be time for you to look at some different options.
12:44Do you think the fact that he hasn't renewed it in six years and she's been on him, on him about it, that's got to be a sign, right?
12:50That's a sign right there that it's like, you know, maybe he's not looking at the same things the way you look at him or as important.
12:57So it might be time for you to open up, you know, and look at some other options.
13:00I mean, it ain't like he here.
13:02Right.
13:02You know, and it's not, but it's not like you're cheating either.
13:04It's just like you're just opening up.
13:06If his, his lack of action is action.
13:10Okay.
13:10So when you don't try, then that means you're trying to not do.
13:15So if he's trying not to be with you or trying not to execute it the right way, then you can do some things too to maybe open up the field and maybe learn a little something.
13:23Maybe it's some of my better options out there.
13:25Some more partner-ish type dudes instead of just somebody you got to babysit.
13:28Say it again, O.
13:29Non-action.
13:30Non-action is action.
13:31That's right.
13:32People think don't do nothing is like, oh, I ain't do nothing.
13:34Well, not doing something was something.
13:36Right.
13:37You did it.
13:37Speaks volumes.
13:38Yeah, man, that's facts.
13:39888-429-0941.
13:41You can always get in.
13:42Therapy Thursday is now a wrap.