Dave reveals how he has been very clumsy lately, but shocks everyone when he mentions what happened this morning. He dropped his razor while shaving his face and cut his dong, leading to him putting a band-aid on it.
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00:00you know i hate to bring up anything on this show that's going wrong with me because
00:10then all the listeners are like it's a tumor oh yeah right they tell you something that's
00:14going on but you know that i've i've been clumsy through my life yeah but i feel like honestly i
00:23turned a corner and things weren't that bad like i wasn't as clumsy as i normally am okay
00:28for some reason it has come back oh that's it you're dying in full effect
00:34that's your mind you guys over the past week i've closed a door on my finger
00:40i've dropped a chair on my toe okay okay i tripped when i was barbecuing and landed on the grill oh
00:49my god barbecue and then this morning i hate to bring it up i hope it's on video it's not
00:57um we'll see i had to put a band-aid on my penis
01:01dang who puts a band-aid on their penis by the way
01:07he's his penis is big enough to put a band-aid on number one you know what happened i'm not putting
01:14any band-aid on mine this is just slip that right in there i was shaving this morning jesus
01:20that dave sometimes you share too much yeah i know i do i know i do but he shaves to come to work
01:26he was shaving no i wasn't shaving my genitals i was shaving my face oh sure no honestly i was
01:32shaving my face and the razor dropped and landed on my dong and took a sizable damn i cut into it
01:42let's get a glimpse of this bad boy yeah but we're okay thanks yeah but i was afraid it was
01:49gonna bleed through my pants so i had to put a band-aid on it wow can't be a free bleeder right
01:56i'm glad you're not a free bleeder i'm not a free bleeder but it was just a really horrible start to
02:01the day i'm like well this is something's wrong all of this it was over the course of a week by the
02:06way what part the shaft okay but i know i've got a lot on my mind lately or something i don't know
02:13what it is but i'm just i'm more clumsy i don't know i mean it's you start to lose your motor skills
02:18now relax start to lose it and get arthritis in your hands i can't even shave anymore i feel like
02:24it's a lot of information to know that you currently have a band-aid on your shaft
02:27none of us we were silent we're just like we all looked at each other did he just say that
02:35like did not expect it i'll be honest if even if i was bleeding down there like i'm not putting a
02:41band-aid on it no chuck like i had to go and it was bleeding out then it's so i come in and i've got
02:46like blood on my pants well i mean it's not gonna bleed through that much i mean oh no you know it was
02:53a lot what would we think if we saw blood on his pants in that area i know what i would think
02:59i guess he got after it this morning what do you shave with like a bowie knife yeah that's one of
03:04those like six blade razors or whatever it is he's got a straight edge razor i do have a special razor
03:10you know of course i love every gadget it's a heated one so you heat it oh jesus like it like
03:15automatically heats up well maybe it was too hot slipped out of your hand anyways weird start to the
03:20day yeah not yeah i wish i didn't know um now now i do now so is it uncomfortable down there right
03:30now a little bit i just do i normally don't have anything on your you'd be aware of it i think
03:36like at all times like we talked about those new condoms that you put on before you get yes yes right
03:41like right now you know it's there i know it's there yep yeah and unfortunately you guys know it's
03:47there too because we talked about everything yeah i don't like making eye contact with you
03:51i hope it's an easy off one you don't want to pull you don't want it to tear some some band-aids
04:01like you put them on and it's like it's like comes off no problem and then some are like i don't know
04:06what they've made the glue with but it's violent yeah no it was not uh not the best way to start the
04:14day no i can see that anyways so i'm sure that it shall heal soon but i didn't want to move through
04:21my pants and make it weird but i didn't even know you should have cauterized it
04:25that's how we've learned from the movies yeah i do like that your solution to not making it weird
04:40just to tell all of us yeah yeah yeah a lot of people just keep that to themselves they're like
04:44i gotta share this i need to let you know it's just a bizarre thing it is bizarre who puts a
04:49band-aid on the ring i've never heard of it has anyone ever had to do that i don't think so no i
04:53mean like i said i mean usually it's just a fluke accident so right you don't it's better than
04:59time for wait to it to stop bleeding you don't have to rush to work i probably have a good foot
05:03between shaving and i could drop anything oh yeah my gut is done for yeah i mean it's i got some
05:12yeah maybe don't maybe don't shave nude i think he puts it on the countertop obviously not an option
05:18lisa not an option i'm just i don't know i normally have a towel on or something okay fine whatever
05:25i'm just whatever protect yourself protect yourself this guy was i think it was i think
05:31it was a little all right i think he was all right you know what i'm saying least still a little
05:38excited from the tulip festival so you know yeah a little bit too much okay because it's got to fall
05:44beyond your whole body you know yeah the physics of it yeah like where was it where would your
05:50penis have to be in order to clear my whole body where's my penis well if you fell in a straight
05:56line down it's like it could also yeah the forensics of this is crazy okay john's recreating it
06:02for god's sakes all right no we don't need what are you doing
06:07we'll see right there look there you go exactly that proves it is
06:13well mine that mine is not that big
06:16that's the perfect thing for this that is the perfect thing for this demonstration
06:24i'll send it to dave setting
06:29you're ridiculous stop it right now that's enough
06:34i think we needed this
06:36i'm gonna say crunch some numbers on that lease
06:42drop some algorithms let's get some algebra going
06:46the tip of my finger is regrowing from when i sliced it off on the mandolin remember
06:51oh yeah i forgot about that one
06:53plus it only hit the middle of it
06:55it hit the middle of it lease do the math on this
06:59stop it little humble brag
07:00yeah i dropped the razor and it got me right in the middle
07:05it would have took the i would have cleared mine
07:08okay like who hit the ground like nothing my toes are in danger
07:13anyways be careful