Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about an e-mail from a listener who took their kids to get photos taken with Santa. Only problem is, Santa's balls were on full display in their family portrait.
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00:00merry effing friday bitches how you doing it is dave and chuck the freak on this 20th day
00:09of december where we shall begin by looking at santa's balls ah it's a holiday season let's do
00:17it merry christmas lisa yeah santa's balls huge big uh yeah big sack uh we got this uh anonymous
00:26email said uh listening to your show you guys were talking about mall santas well we took the kids to
00:33see santa last night and my wife was in a terrible mood after we saw santa and i couldn't figure out
00:39why when we got home she said zoom in on those pictures do you notice anything no way yeah santa's
00:47jingle balls are on full display that's impressive you have to go get new pictures right yeah oh yeah
00:53you gotta go find a new santa i don't know you gotta you gotta winner me that's a that's a card
00:59oh lord that's a card yeah no yes impressive sack on santa that is wild someone i mean listen the
01:10photographer should be like santa we're gonna have to have you maybe push your legs a little bit uh like
01:15maybe a christmas pillow i don't know what do you do how do you block santa's giant supposed to do i
01:22don't know but he's not fitting on the chimney with that sack he just gets stuck by his balls
01:27do you think he knows or not i hope he doesn't i feel like this santa took some risks anyway that's
01:34not like a classic official santa suit yeah look at that right it's different it's wild it's old
01:38school i don't know that's that's made it yourself right there i think it seems like it and that's like
01:44a loose that's a loose pant there's no way he knows he doesn't know what's up
01:49you wouldn't expect santa to need some kind of athletic supporter but this guy does yeah he's
01:57got i think and he's got big balls loose pants so they show every velvet i was gonna say they're
02:04also a thin it looks like a very pretty thin material you know when you make your pants at
02:09home yourself yeah you're you're choosing the thinnest of sure material and he's old too so
02:17those things are low probably oh man they just get lower well you can see the wrinkles in them
02:22it's so tight no that's wild right that is wild but yeah that's inappropriate really and i understand
02:28why your wife does not want to keep those holiday memories because every time you look at it all you'd
02:32see would be santa's balls what do you do if you're santa with big balls i mean i guess to figure out
02:37your suit yeah you have to figure out your suit maybe you gotta do some uh some at home shots in
02:41front of a mirror compression shorts a little bit of a more fluffier jacket in the lower area like a
02:48longer jacket jacket but also i think compression if they're that big and hanging you gotta pull them
02:54up oh yeah athletic support athletic support yeah of some sort yeah that's a bummer yeah it's it's a
03:02fail on behalf of the place that has the santa someone should have said something what's amazing is
03:07you know so many people like that's the only place they're gonna go like these are their holiday
03:13these are santa's balls so probably at least hundreds of people went to this place and they're
03:24gonna have ball pictures amazing merry christmas yeah so to our listeners sorry but uh you uh you
03:34obviously your wife's gonna redo them so now you know i'm not gonna say yeah i don't know if you can
03:39fix that in like photoshop here i don't know that place i've been there oh yeah have you for like
03:45apple picking and stuff oh yeah not for santa's balls no no looks like he had a couple apples with him
03:52yeah he's picked some i go other places oh you narrowed it down to probably too much oh well
03:58anyways who cares yeah he's like just telling you the city well kids have a be confused though you're
04:07like hey we've got to go see a different santa oh you know you're right oh yeah i can't because
04:12that santa to them that's santa you can't go okay we're gonna go no santa's balls right on this
04:16one we're gonna go you're just gonna have to laugh that off later in life i think that i would
04:20ridiculous there's a lot of you know like um what is it photoshop or whatever oh yeah you could
04:26kind of like um i think that they have like an a it just does stuff itself oh you can do it on your
04:33iphone or you can block it out yeah blur a lot of people out of pictures yeah oh wedding photos
04:39yeah i don't think a blur will help you don't think it'll blur his balls well i think a blur
04:44make it look like it's just out yes i want it to just be like blended so you can't even tell it's
04:49a blur you don't want to have like what looks like a you could censored area yeah it's more of a
04:55blurry smear kind of thing yeah like uh i was gonna try it on my phone but i'm like why am i gonna try
05:01take santa's balls oh that's their problem that's terrible their santa balls are their problem we
05:06have enough of our own problems they gotta figure it out if you need something more powerful you
05:10could probably sign up for like a photo a photoshop free trial seven days yeah get those balls out of
05:17there put text over it happy holidays yeah there you go well done exactly yeah good job court so many
05:24options but i've dealt with this before ball big balls yeah long balls long balls what do you mean
05:32did you family history you sat on belong ball santa's lap or he has such heavy ornaments yeah
05:39court are these your own long balls oh no not during the holiday season it's too cold okay
05:46so true what is your experience with this i don't know what happened is it you i mean can you talk
05:55about it are you in therapy what's the deal tell us there's just been times you have to cover up
06:01something and text seems to work i see yeah with your own personal experience i see yeah okay also even
06:08in my in our stuff i think uh you know we've done some things every once in a while where i like you
06:14know i'm in gray sweats a lot so like you know we got to cover up things and put a little text over
06:20it the tiniest of texts yeah that one's photoshop express chuck yeah you don't need much anyway so
06:26sorry about santa's balls family hope you can still get through the holiday season together