Dave & Chuck the Freak talk to listeners about the everyday items they've had to turn into weapons and a couple guys get too comfortable with their foul language.
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00:00Trouble can strike at any moment.
00:07That's why it pays to be aware of your surroundings,
00:10since you never know when you're going to need to tap into that action hero
00:13lurking deep inside of you.
00:15There's something going around online about what everyday item
00:20someone has had to turn into a weapon.
00:22Oh, cool.
00:23To defend themselves.
00:24Yeah.
00:24So if you have had this happen to you,
00:28have you turned an everyday item into a weapon and why did you have to do it?
00:34What was it?
00:34And why did you have to do it is what we want to know.
00:36If you want to join us during this conversation,
00:38you can 1-855-954-6969 is the best way to reach us on the Dave and Chuck lines.
00:431-855-954-6969.
00:46You can text us at 46969.
00:51Here are some of the things that people say they've used as weapons.
00:55Pot of hot coffee.
00:56Well, that'll do it.
00:57That's a good go-to one.
01:00You can keep that hot coffee and keep people out of a castle if you want to.
01:04Oh, they tried to get in.
01:06I mean, we've been using hot coffee for a long time.
01:10All castle sieges.
01:11The thing is, so many of us now no longer have glass pots of hot coffee.
01:15I feel like that is like you're working at 7-Eleven or something like that.
01:19Or in a diner.
01:20Yeah, you've got that thing.
01:22Someone tries to rob you.
01:23That'll teach you not to rob you.
01:26Oh, man.
01:26I mean, your skin's going to come right off.
01:28Well, it contains hot liquid, shattered glass.
01:31Yeah.
01:31It's a perfect weapon.
01:32It's a double whammy, right?
01:34It's pretty good.
01:35If you happen to have it.
01:36Let's go to Angie, who's joining us on the Dave and Chuck lines.
01:40Angie, have you turned an everyday item into a weapon?
01:44Yes.
01:45What was it?
01:46Spray deodorant and a plunger.
01:49Spray deodorant and a plunger.
01:51Did you have to use them or you just had them on hand in case?
01:55We had them on hand in case.
01:59We were actually, a lady was sent to kill a friend of mine in high school.
02:07It was her boyfriend's wife.
02:11And it was a whole set-up long story.
02:14And we were in the house and he left for the night.
02:18And we saw her stalking the house and she had a gun.
02:22And we didn't know what to do.
02:25So we hid in the bathroom and we grabbed aerosol, deodorant, and a plunger to spray her in the eyes
02:31and knock her over the head if she found us in the bathroom.
02:33Luckily, she never found us.
02:35She searched everywhere in the house and she left, but we were ready.
02:38She didn't search the bathroom.
02:39Yeah, you never, you just leave that one.
02:41I know, she didn't search the bathroom.
02:42Must not be anyone in there even though the door's closed.
02:46That's wild.
02:47A gun versus a deodorant and plunger.
02:51Yeah, that's a new hitman.
02:54You always check the bathroom.
02:55I mean, that's the first place I check.
02:57First place I check.
02:58Everyone hides in the bathroom.
03:00Vince is with us next.
03:01Hi, Vince.
03:03Hi, how you doing?
03:04Doing all right.
03:04What's an everyday item you turned into a weapon?
03:06I was at this restaurant and this guy was acting a fool and he tried to attack one of the waitresses
03:16and I was sitting right there and I threw a napkin at the guy's face and then...
03:23What'd you throw?
03:24Napkin.
03:24A napkin.
03:26Uh-huh.
03:26And punched him in the face and laid him out and, you know, the cops came and everything.
03:33Yeah, so you did the old blind him with a napkin and then punch him while he distracted.
03:38Yeah.
03:40Yeah, that's what I did.
03:41I blinded his ass.
03:43Oh.
03:44Yeah.
03:44It's okay, you can say ass.
03:45Yep.
03:46Blind his ass.
03:47Right.
03:47Punch his ass out.
03:48It distracts.
03:49Now the **** out.
03:50Oh, you can't say ass, you stupid bitch.
03:55Can't say that one.
03:57Can't say that one.
03:59Yeah, that's right.
04:00I knocked that mother out.
04:03Whoa.
04:05That's Lisa's favorite thing.
04:07That's the favorite.
04:08That is Lisa's favorite.
04:09That was perfect.
04:11That really drove it home.
04:13You can.
04:14He thought he couldn't say ass, but he thought he could say mother after.
04:19You gave him the opening, like, yeah, you can say that.
04:21And he was like, oh, yes.
04:22He's like, oh, no.
04:22Let's get wild.
04:23Let's get raw.
04:24Yeah.
04:25Well, then let me tell you what I really did.
04:27I punched a man after throwing a napkin.
04:29Let's see how raw we can get.
04:31Yeah.
04:31Knock that mother effer out.
04:39Yep.
04:40Yeah, mother effer for sure on the list of things we can't say.
04:44Nope.
04:45You can't say ass, though.
04:49Yeah.
04:49You can't say ass.
04:50Absolutely, you can't.
04:51Ass is fine.
04:51Mother effer, you cannot say.
04:53Like we always say.
04:53Oh, I can say ass?
04:54Can't say mother effer.
04:55How about mother?
05:00Jesus, dude.
05:01Yeah, man.
05:02I apologize for calling you a stupid bitch, but thanks for listening.
05:04That was awesome.
05:05He did.
05:05Dave was like, yo, stupid bitch.
05:09It was like he kicked him out of a party.
05:11I loved it.
05:11He's like, get out of here, you stupid bitch.
05:13He did.
05:15He grabbed him by the pants and threw him out.
05:17Come on.
05:18I know, I get it.
05:19I get it.
05:21My current girlfriend used many candles as Molotovs.
05:26Directed right at my head.
05:27She was lighting them off like a...
05:29That's crazy.
05:31Ow!
05:32She's hot wax touching fire.
05:35Oh, yeah.
05:35That's horrible.
05:36He says, though, 13 years later, we're still together and going strong.
05:40Of course.
05:40Hide the candles.
05:41Yeah, you just got to know what you can't buy.
05:45Talking about everyday items that you can turn into weapons, and a lot of people have
05:48done this.
05:49This guy said, I used white dry coffee creamer.
05:54Most don't realize the phosphorus in it ignites with a lighter.
05:57So...
05:58I set you a blaze.
06:00Like a magician?
06:02He controls fire!
06:04Yeah.
06:06I mean, I powder you up, and then...
06:08Gone.
06:10I had no idea.
06:11You probably shouldn't be eating that.
06:12That's it.
06:13I was just going to say it.
06:14It can catch fire like that.
06:16You probably shouldn't be eating it.
06:17That's why...
06:17You still put it in your coffee?
06:18No, I don't.
06:19Okay.
06:19I only hid it in here in case I needed to use it as a...
06:22That's a weapon.
06:22That's a weapon.
06:23Yeah, okay, right.
06:24That's true.
06:24That's what those fire breathers use.
06:27Oh, man.
06:29I did not know there was phosphorus in those.
06:31No, I didn't either.
06:32Oh, that cheap-ass one you have definitely has phosphorus in it.
06:35I'm sure.
06:36Look at the label.
06:36I would like to see it.
06:37It's gone now.
06:38Oh, okay.
06:39Chris is with us in Naples, Florida.
06:41Chris, what everyday item have you turned into a weapon?
06:44Well, this is credit to my father.
06:47He's a Marine and was the commander at our local American Legion.
06:51Met him there one day, and we're hanging out.
06:54And this guy's getting real belligerent at the end of the bar.
06:57So my dad, being the guy he is, gets up, walks down, confronts him.
07:01And the guy is still just talking a whole lot of smack, squares off on my dad.
07:06My dad says, well, hold on, hold on.
07:09I just got a bunch of dental work done.
07:10I don't want to mess this up.
07:12Reaches in his mouth and pops out his bridge with, like, the fake tooth and all that stuff.
07:17Pops it out and says, here, hold on to this for safekeeping.
07:20The guy puts his hand out instinctively.
07:22My dad puts the bridge in his hand, and before the guy's gaze catches my dad again, my dad's punch lands right between his eyes.
07:30The guy hits the ground.
07:32My dad picks up his bridge, dusts it off, pops it back in his mouth.
07:37He says, Chris, time to go, and don't tell your mother about this.
07:40And we walked out.
07:41But as the commander, nobody at the legion said a word.
07:45They just got the guy kind of sobered up and drug out of there.
07:49Yep.
07:49The commander knocked another guy out.
07:52Well, that would, like a dental.
07:54If someone put a dental bridge in my hand, I'd be like, oh, hell.
07:57I'd want you to knock me out, actually.
07:59I'd be like, I just touched a man's dental bridge.
08:02Teeth.
08:03Steve's with us in Massachusetts.
08:04Have you turned an everyday item into a weapon?
08:07Penis.
08:08Penis.
08:08Penis.
08:10So I was on a school trip.
08:12I was on a bus going to New York, and under the seat was a somewhat smashed disposable camera.
08:17So I started screwing around with it and figured out I could use a capacitor, charge it up with a camera body,
08:23and use it as a stun gun.
08:26Hey, MacGyver, what the hell?
08:28It's crazy.
08:30It's a thing.
08:30That's nuts.
08:31Whoever would have thought of that?
08:32It's a thing.
08:34Well, I found out by accident because when I went to go pry it open, I shot the **** at myself.
08:38Can't say that.
08:39Yeah, no.
08:40Can't say that.
08:40No.
08:41Can't say that.
08:41Can't say that.
08:41I want a broken camera.
08:42Another stupid bitch.
08:46What's wrong with the words?
08:48Oh, well.
08:48It's so much.
08:49Dave.
08:49Why is there so much voltage?
08:52There is, though.
08:53In a disposable camera?
08:55The flash.
08:57Enough to turn it into a stun gun?
08:58I think like a momentary one-shot use only, maybe.
09:04Someone said I use an old-school sock and lock.
09:09Oh, he puts the old lock in there.
09:11Yeah.
09:12No, she.
09:13Oh, she.
09:14She popped out her boyfriend's kneecap when he cheated on her.
09:17There you go.
09:18You cheat on me.
09:19There you go.
09:19You don't walk.
09:20Oh, my God.
09:21She, like, targeted my leg.
09:23Yeah, that's crazy.
09:25She popped out his kneecap.
09:28Well, you know.
09:30It's like he was dating Nancy Kerrigan or something.
09:35Go for the knee.
09:36Yeah.
09:37Diabolical.
09:38And someone else said, I beat the crap out of six guys with a car antenna.
09:43No, I don't believe it.
09:45Yeah, I don't.
09:46Because he ain't getting in with it.
09:48You're like, ow!
09:51How much damage would that do?
09:52It might.
09:53It would sting.
09:54Yeah, it would sting.
09:55But six guys?
09:57There's six of us.
09:58You go low, I'll go high.
10:01You know?
10:03Yeah, there's a lot of tall tales here today, I think.
10:05I think so.
10:07A lot of tall, tall tales.
10:07But, hey.
10:09Oh, well.
10:10See, I've seen real stuff be used as weapons because it's what Stella grabs.
10:14I've seen Legos.
10:15Yeah, you've been on the other end of it.
10:16Legos.
10:16For sure.
10:16Golf club.
10:17Miniature baseball bat.
10:19Miniature hockey stick.
10:22You name it.
10:23Salt shaker.
10:24Just another battered man.
10:26Yeah.
10:27Let's see.
10:28No.