Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Good evening and welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:05On tonight's show, if at first you don't succeed, try Greg Krups.
00:09If you can't stand the heat, get out of the Wayne Brady.
00:12If you can't say something nice, don't say Colin Mochrie.
00:15And if you think you have problems, Ryan Stiles.
00:18Hey, I'm your host.
00:20Come on now, let's have some fun.
00:21Thanks and welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:33The show where everything's made up and the points absolutely do not matter.
00:37As a matter of fact, here, I'll tell you what.
00:40We give away extra points all through the show.
00:42Sometimes we give away points to people at home.
00:44When you get your points, you can trade them for prizes at the end of the show.
00:46Look for details at your local Burger King.
00:49Now, if you've never seen the show before, what happens is these four guys are going
00:52to come up and they're going to make up stuff for you right off the top of their heads and
00:55give away these points, which don't mean anything.
00:57But we pick a winner at the end of the show and the winner gets to do a little something
01:00special with me.
01:01And we make the loser sit there like this.
01:08So let's start with a game called Weird Newscasters.
01:10This is for all four of you, Weird Newscasters.
01:12Greg, you're going to be the anchor of a news program.
01:14Colin Wayne and Ryan are the other people on the news program.
01:18Each of you are a rather odd character.
01:20Greg, your co-anchor is Colin.
01:22Colin, you are a trigger-happy hunter.
01:24Wayne, you're doing sports.
01:27You illustrate your report through dance.
01:30And Ryan, you're doing the weather.
01:32You get your jacket caught in a moving ski lift.
01:35That's what it says.
01:38I want you to hear the music, Greg.
01:40Go ahead and start.
01:42Good evening, everyone.
01:46I'm Twice Nightly.
01:48And this is the auction news.
01:54These are the headlines.
01:55Insane cow tries moon jump.
01:58Dish and spoon still missing.
02:00Colin?
02:01Colin?
02:02Colin?
02:03Colin?
02:04Colin?
02:05Colin?
02:06Wava erupted today.
02:11Do you hear a wabbit?
02:16Kill a wabbit!
02:17Kill a wabbit!
02:18Kill a wabbit!
02:19Kill a rabbit! Kill a rabbit!
02:29An antowulf! Look at the antowulf!
02:34Oh, I just created some havoc!
02:39Speaking of havoc, it's time for sports.
02:44Let's throw it over to Snunk Ninkley at the sports desk.
02:47Snunk, what's on tap?
02:49Thank you very much, twice.
02:50Well, it appears that the women have done it again.
02:53The women. Oh, they took it.
02:56They took the ball and they put it into the net.
03:00They couldn't stop. No one can stop our team.
03:03Because the American team is the best.
03:06Lord knows that I can always use a good bunch of soccer players.
03:10That's incredible! Incredible!
03:17Well, that certainly was an interesting sports report, wasn't it, Colin?
03:22It was very, very interesting.
03:29Let's find out what conditions are going to be like for people who are going on vacation
03:34and throw it over to Big Ryan Stiles.
03:37Ride!
03:38Well, thank you twice, and I'm going to use two-pointers today
03:41because we've got doubly good weather this afternoon.
03:45We've got clouds moving in over the Pacific Northwest later in the day.
03:49Okay, that'll, uh, that'll clear things up.
03:51Oh!
03:52Oh, my God.
03:53Oh!
03:54Seems to be caught.
03:55Ten point.
03:56Oh!
03:57Oh!
03:58Oh!
03:59Oh!
04:00Oh!
04:01Oh!
04:02Oh!
04:03Oh!
04:04Oh!
04:05Oh!
04:06Oh!
04:07Oh!
04:08Oh!
04:09Oh!
04:10Oh!
04:11Oh!
04:12Oh!
04:13Oh!
04:14Oh!
04:15Oh!
04:16Oh!
04:17Oh!
04:19Oh!
04:20Oh!
04:30That's been the news.
04:31Stay tuned for America's Most Hilarious Amphibians.
04:34Coming up next...
04:35Ryan that was great I see your back's gotten better so a thousand points to your chiropractor
04:51its next game is for Wayne
04:54say hello to you guys and the matching outfits what's your names Amy nice to meet Amy what's
05:14your name Christina and Amy what do you guys do your students do you have any hobbies or things
05:20you like to do you run cross-country much come on down here I knew the moment I saw him I wanted
05:36to have Wayne sing a song to them because you're gonna be singing song to Amy and Christina whose
05:41hobby is running cross-country and the style of the song is the Backstreet Boys kind of worked out
05:49perfect isn't it so uh whatever you're ready so go wild love child what you can
05:55freeze I don't know exactly what you're doing to me but it's fun isn't it Tommy
06:18yeah oh you make me want to run all of my love it keeps haunting me you make me want to run cross
06:35cross country so don't you see and we can have fun and you and you match in the same exact one
06:45oh you make me want to run oh you make me want to jog isn't that right I'm the sensitive one
06:53that's right girl just you and me because you see we do this easily and I don't care exactly what you think
07:10it's me and you and you when you're dressed in pink that is right and let the fun begin both of y'all like
07:15the double mint twins don't you understand and this is this because you're running I just don't miss
07:20girl girl girl girl girl girl I'm the shy one girl girl girl both of you you make my mind swirl that's right
07:35girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl
08:05all the time. I'll give all the points to whoever made your dresses.
08:15Points to your mother's baby, yeah!
08:19Okay, let's go on to a game called
08:22Sound Effects. This is for Colin and Ryan. Colin is going to improvise a scene with
08:26help of Ryan.
08:27Ryan's going to make sound effects for him that Colin has to respond to.
08:30And the scene is, you're the only employee in a busy drive-thru
08:34fast-food place.
09:04Ssshh... bing-bing.
09:06Ssshh...
09:07Houtspe泡...
09:09my foot.
09:11Oh no...
09:13....
09:15l
09:19l
09:19The
09:23come here...
09:25And that brings it the drive that comes with a
09:27Where where where where where where
09:57Oh
10:27We're gonna see a commercial. We'll be right back with more of what? Whose Line Is It Anyway? Don't go anywhere
10:38Welcome back to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
10:40The show where everything's made up, but the points don't matter. That's right. Just like a hat at an orgy, it doesn't matter
10:47Okay, our next game is very confusing. Get out your pencils tape it whatever you have to do
10:51It's called number of words. This is for everyone to play
10:57Now the idea of this game is that our performers are going to be acting on a scene
11:04However, each performer can only speak in sentences of a certain number of words
11:09Ryan can only speak in one-word sentences
11:12Colin is only allowed three words per sentence
11:14Wayne only two words per sentence, but Greg is allowed five words per sentence
11:22Got all that now the scene is Ryan's a World War two submarine captain
11:26Colin is the nervous first mate and they're joined by Wayne a lieutenant who's discovered a German stowaway Greg
11:34Did you get all that because I'm not repeating it?
11:37And I'll be ready go
11:42Periscope up sir. Yes
11:48I'm very nervous
11:52Relax
11:56My first time
11:58What is it?
12:00Dutch
12:01That's okay, sir
12:03Sauerkraut
12:07I'm not German. I'm Swiss
12:11Shut up!
12:13That's a lie
12:15No, it's not. I am
12:17Captain what should
12:19Come
12:21Captain what should
12:27Let me go. Let me
12:29Overboard
12:30Throw him overboard?
12:32Right now?
12:33Yes
12:38Underwater
12:39Yes
12:40But we'll drown
12:41So?
12:42You will all drown
12:44Dunkuff
12:45That's German word
12:47Wait
12:49I meant to use
12:50The
12:52The what?
12:53Swiss word
12:54That I had
12:55That I had
13:05I'm going to give you 500 points apiece for that because I got nowhere else to put them
13:10Ryan gets 501 points
13:12Now let's play a game called Party Quirks
13:16In this game Greg, you're going to be hosting a party
13:18Wayne, Colin, and Ryan will be your guests
13:20And each of them have a strange quirk or identity
13:23Greg has to guess what the quirks are
13:25So Wayne, Colin, and Ryan, why don't you line up there
13:27I'll bring you in one at a time with the doorbell
13:29And whenever you're ready Greg, start the party
13:31It's a come as a primate party
13:36It's a come as a primate party
13:38Okay
13:40Hello Wayne
13:41Hey dude, what's up?
13:42Not much
13:48Oh
13:49You alright?
13:50You got chips?
13:51Yeah, sure
13:52Whoa
14:01Did you ride your bike here right behind a bus or something?
14:09Hello, Carl
14:17Hey, hey
14:19What's going on?
14:21Leave my cat alone
14:23You be-
14:24Arr! Arr!
14:26Arr!
14:27Arr!
14:28Arr!
14:31Arr!
14:33Arr
14:35Ryan
14:36Have you met...
14:37Have you met Wayne?
14:38He's made of...
14:39Rubber
14:40Of course he's not
14:41I just always say that about Wayne
14:43You just enjoy yourself and I'll get the door, shall I?
14:46Hello, Ryan
14:55Arrrr!
14:56So, you guys want to play a game or something?
15:10Hey, Ryan, have you met Colin?
15:14Colin's reenacting every battle from every era of the...
15:18He's a warrior from every century.
15:20He thinks he's challenging every time.
15:26Hey, be careful. Be careful. That's a vicious rabid dog on a leash.
15:29It's a...
15:33Greg!
15:34Yes?
15:35Greg, I can't...
15:37You... you are so loaded, and it's like 7.30.
15:42What is the deal?
15:44I just need to get some...
15:46You... oh, you...
15:48Your Gumby is what you are.
15:51What holds you... what holds you to the Earth?
15:53Well, my love for you, Drew.
15:57Oh.
16:00Scientifically, what holds you to the...
16:02Oh, I understand now.
16:04You're fighting gravity in all its respects.
16:07Yeah, this is what you're talking about.
16:14I give you points, but the points don't matter.
16:15Like the Queen of England.
16:19Hello. Is it bigger than a bed box?
16:22Uh...
16:23That looks more of a game called Scene to Wrap.
16:28Greg and Wayne, you're going to make up a scene.
16:30Uh, rapping all the way.
16:31Could be joined later by Colin and Ryan,
16:33two of the greatest rappers in North America.
16:36Accompanied by Laura Hall and Linda Taylor.
16:38Laura Hall and Linda Taylor.
16:39And what I need from the audience is a real or made-up disaster movie.
16:47Oh, what?
16:48Black hole!
16:49Oh, black hole!
16:50Black hole!
16:51So that's the disaster movie.
16:52It's about a black hole.
16:53So that's the disaster movie.
16:54It's about a black hole.
17:04Dude, we out in space.
17:05Get out of my face.
17:06Everybody has stars all over the place.
17:08I'm real scared.
17:09I'm getting kind of freaky.
17:10I think the ship is getting kind of leaky.
17:12I don't know what's out there.
17:13It can't even matter.
17:14I'm going to freak out and then go splatter.
17:16Wait, wait a second.
17:17Wait, have fun.
17:18It's only a black hole.
17:19I've got one.
17:20I've got one.
17:21You've got to re-allow it.
17:22I want to say this.
17:23Because there's something that you can't miss.
17:25Yeah, yeah.
17:26I like to rip as I get funky in my ship.
17:29Oh, my goodness.
17:30What is that?
17:31It looks like our ship might go spat.
17:41Hey, I'm the doctor that you picked.
17:43I gotta admit, I'm feeling mighty sick.
17:45Oh, man, I'm not a big doctor.
17:46I'm not the best.
17:47Oh, my God, there's something in my chest.
17:49Oh, my God, oh, my God.
17:58Don't you see what's coming out of his body?
18:01Oh, I'm freaking out.
18:02Bare to hit me.
18:03Just like aliens.
18:04He's like Ripley.
18:05Hit me.
18:14I met an alien from the black hole.
18:15on the back hole. I've come here to collect your soul.
18:18I'm going to take you back there,
18:20and then I'm just going to dance.
18:23Go Daddy. Go Daddy. Go Daddy.
18:26Go Daddy. Go Daddy. Go Daddy. Go Daddy.
18:34Hey, don't go away. We're going to see a commercial.
18:36We'll be right back with more Whose Line Is It Anyway?
18:38And the winner gets to do a little something special.
18:41So don't go anywhere. You don't want to miss it. Bye.
18:45Hey, welcome back to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
18:50Tonight's winner, Wayne Brady.
18:52Wayne Brady's the winner.
18:56Because he wins, he gets to sit at the desk and do what I do
18:59while we do a hoedown.
19:01Whoo!
19:03We're going to do a hoedown.
19:05And what I need for the audience is a suggestion
19:07for something a group of guys might do together.
19:10Bachelor party.
19:11Bachelor party. Bachelor party. We got a bachelor party.
19:14So, Laura Hall and Luna Taylor,
19:16let's hear the Bachelor party hoedown.
19:26I went up to Drew's house because he's getting married.
19:30He's going to be married to the girl that'll be Mrs. Drew Carey.
19:33He said there'd be a stripper, and there was, and it was scary.
19:37Cause when the stripper came out, it was Drew Carey.
19:44At a bachelor party. We took off our clothes. It was pretty wild.
19:49Heaven knows I was embarrassed when I went to Tipper.
19:55Turns out my mother was the stripper.
19:59I went to a bachelor's party. I really had a ball.
20:06Boy, I consumed an awful lot of alcohol.
20:10In fact, it was really bad. In fact, it spelled my doom.
20:13Cause when I awoke, I found I married the groom.
20:21My friends threw me a party. I knew that I was sunk.
20:24We stripped right down all night long.
20:27Got really drunk. Dancing with my naked friends.
20:30Boy, that's the life. It's matter of fact. To hell with my wife.
20:42Don't go anywhere. We're coming right back with more Who's On Is It Anyway.
20:45Stay right where you are.
20:50Hey, welcome back. To end the show tonight,
20:52we're going to have Greg and Colin read the credits for us.
20:54They're going to read the credits as two carnival barkers
20:57luring people into the sideshow.
20:59So good night, everybody. We'll see you next time on Who's Line Is It Anyway?
21:01See the two-headed Dan Patterson, Mark Leveson.
21:04See the freakishly doll, Ryan Stiles.
21:07Hurry, hurry, hurry. Tom Clark.
21:10Now we've got the singing guy.
21:12You give him some peanuts, he will sing for you.
21:14I want them all not bits for the kiddies.
21:17It's an adult show only.
21:18Melinda Stacey Gill.
21:20Stacey Gill, Ellison Sedaris.
21:22Julia Franco. She's got five arms.
21:25And they're all totally naked.
21:27You heard me, ladies and gentlemen.