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00:00Good evening, everybody, and welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:05On tonight's show, lean and tender Brad Sherwood,
00:08nicely trimmed Wayne Brady,
00:11well-marbled Colin Mochrie,
00:14and the bits that go to make a hot dog,
00:16Ryan Stiles.
00:18And I'm your host, Drew Gary.
00:19Come on down, let's have some fun.
00:25Oh.
00:25And welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:31The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter.
00:33The points here are kind of like Canada.
00:40Colin, I'm kidding around, buddy.
00:41I'm just joking around, Colin.
00:42It was just a joke.
00:43I'm very sorry.
00:44I love Canada.
00:44It's the greatest place in the whole wide world.
00:47If you never saw the show before,
00:49you probably will never see it again in Canada.
00:53What happens is these four talented people
00:55including the one extra talented one from Canada
00:57are going to come up here
00:58and they're going to improvise scenes for you
01:00based on suggestions from the audience
01:01and what's written on these cards.
01:03They've never seen what's on these cards before.
01:04They're going to make up everything off the top of their head.
01:05It's really fun.
01:06And then we give them points,
01:07but the points don't matter at all.
01:10It's just a gag to tie the show together.
01:11And then we pick a winner at the end of the show
01:13and at the end of the show,
01:14the winner gets to do a little something special
01:16and the losers have to take pictures.
01:20So let's start out with the first game.
01:22It's called Song Titles.
01:23This is for all four of you, Song Titles.
01:25Brad and Wayne, you're going to start the scene.
01:28Yes.
01:28This is kind of like the question game
01:30except instead of questions,
01:31they can only speak in Song Titles.
01:33If you can't think of a Song Title
01:35or if I think the one you made up is Bull,
01:37I'm going to buzz you out
01:40and the other person is going to take your place
01:42and then I'll give the points to
01:43whoever's the cleverest boy in the room.
01:47Your scene is, using Song Titles only,
01:50you are at an airport.
01:52Song Titles only.
01:57I'm leaving on a jet plane.
02:01Hello?
02:01Is it you I'm looking for?
02:04I'm Mean Mr. Mustard.
02:07I'm the walrus.
02:10That's the lyric, not a title, sorry.
02:13Angie?
02:13Angie?
02:13Lady Madonna?
02:19Take me to the pilot.
02:22Who are you?
02:25Bang Bang Maxwell Silverhound.
02:31Walk this way.
02:35Hair.
02:41Time is on my side.
02:43Love is a many-splendored thing.
02:48What's love got to do with it?
02:54I don't know.
02:58Mama said knock you out.
03:02Mama told me not to come.
03:06Mama played banjo.
03:08Papa's got a brand new bag.
03:10Funky Town.
03:31You dropped the bomb on me.
03:33Maybe you can drive my car.
03:36Word up.
03:37What's that supposed to mean?
03:46Saturday Night Fever?
03:49Boogie Woogie Flu.
03:53Johnny, be good.
03:56Good!
03:57Good now!
03:58Shaft!
04:06Yes.
04:11There's a group called, yes, not a song.
04:13Do you want to dance?
04:15Do you know the way to San Jose?
04:18Route 66.
04:21Oklahoma.
04:22Theme from Titanic.
04:25Theme from Titanic.
04:41Well, ten points apiece.
04:42Who's crying now?
04:45Theme from Titanic.
04:46That was really funny.
04:47Now, we're going to play a game called Gangsta Rap.
04:51This is Gangsta Rap.
04:51This is for Wayne and Brad.
04:54With the help of Laura Hall and Linda Taylor on guitar.
05:02Now, Wayne and Brad are going to be two Gangsta Rappers.
05:05Now, what I need from the audience is a suggestion of something you wanted to be when you grew up.
05:09First lady.
05:09A belly dancer?
05:09A belly dancer?
05:13Astronaut.
05:13Astronaut's good.
05:15So, let's see the Gangsta Rap about an astronaut.
05:19Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
05:20What, what?
05:22Coming straight to you from NASA.
05:25What's up, Houston?
05:26Houston in the house?
05:27Oh, oh, what?
05:29What?
05:30No, no, no, shut up the blown off.
05:31I think you gotta solve them because you realize, Houston, I've got a problem.
05:35So, what do you do?
05:36And so, what do you say?
05:37Because I realize I have to blast off this way.
05:39I'm gonna blast off right in your face.
05:42Then I'm gonna take your butt to outer space.
05:44If you do not like it, then I do not care.
05:47Because I am freezing bottled air.
05:49Because you see, and I know it's abuse.
05:52I strap myself in into my big suit.
05:54And then as fast as you can see, as fast as you can talk.
05:57Because I stepped outside the shuttle and I took a walk.
05:59And we are gonna do it, and we do it real soon.
06:02And if you do not like it from head of the boot.
06:04We're gonna go weightless, and we do not care.
06:06Because I don't know what I'm breathing bottled air.
06:09Because the astronaut, the astronaut's hot.
06:11The astronaut, the astronaut's hot.
06:14The astronaut, the astronaut's hot.
06:16And now I've got a shuttle.
06:18Hey, what you got?
06:19Gotta work two jobs to pay my rent.
06:41My mom's gonna be proud of that one.
06:42That's right.
06:44Well, hey, a thousand points to your mom.
06:45What the hell?
06:46Points to your mother.
06:50Now, let's do a game called Scenes from a Hat.
06:53This is a really fun game.
06:54Now, what we do is, before the show, we ask our audience members to fill out different suggestions of scenes they like to see.
06:59And we pick the best ones, and we put them in a hat.
07:02And now we're gonna ask you guys to come up with as many ideas as you can, based on these suggestions.
07:06Let's start out with...
07:08Bad choices for pets.
07:17Here, Velociraptor!
07:19Here, Velociraptor!
07:21Where's my little tapeworm?
07:34Okay, strange things to find in your bed.
07:45Colin!
07:49Teach me how to sing like you!
07:53What's his problem?
07:54I don't know.
07:55Oh, okay.
08:00Uh, dangerous things to do while you are naked.
08:04Honey, bring out the steaks!
08:05I'm gonna lighten the barbecue!
08:10Ring-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni!
08:13Ring-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni!
08:14Ring-ni-ni-ni-ni!
08:15Ring-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni!
08:21Five minutes, Mr. President.
08:22okay uh baby names that will one day get your child's ass kicked
08:33oh he's kicked my ass hungry
08:38come here colin
08:45little-known facts about our host drew carry
09:15kind of a middle name is allison
09:29things you wish you hadn't said to the president sure i'll be your intern
09:42cigarette cigar
09:51i do
09:57oh hey we'll be right back with more who's line is it anyway right after this
10:04thanks for spending your time with us a to recap the scores keep checking home
10:11uh brad uh who knows wayne who cares colin i forgot ryan minus 73
10:26minus 73 some people the points do matter
10:30now let's go on to a game called weird newscasters this is for all four of you weird newscasters
10:34brad you're the anchorman of a news show and uh colin wayne and ryan are gonna help you out colin
10:39you're the co-anchor you have chosen just this moment to become a nudist
10:46on sports is wayne you're a latin pop heartthrob
10:50yeah i think you know
10:57ryan you're the weatherman and you're a mafia boss who realizes the camera is an assassin
11:05you're a mafia boss who realizes his camera is an assassin
11:12so brad whenever you hear the music go ahead and start
11:21good evening and welcome to the 417 news i'm chester steak knife
11:26today monkeys broke out of the national zoo and killed everyone in the nation
11:32for further stories on this please welcome carl turkey baster carl
11:37i would just i'm sorry ladies and gentlemen i can't go through this pretense
11:44too often are people shackled by the conventions of clothes
11:48nudity is where it's at people feel free you may want to pull back the camera
11:56remember whether you're from there or from there
12:01all across this great nation
12:06be nude the 417 nudes that's what we're going to be called from now on ladies and gentlemen
12:13careful
12:20thanks chester uh and speaking of sports well it was hot as anything wasn't it
12:27let's find out from carlos burrito grande
12:34sport
12:38bien
12:43well i'll tell you all about the sports today i'm living la vida soccer
12:48those ladies they won and afterwards they get me
12:55ah
12:57ah too much sport is making me caliente
13:00maybe the whole team would like to come back to my trailer
13:03back to you i'm too busy enjoying myself
13:09allay allay allay allay
13:12oh
13:13these damn seats are vinyl
13:16on
13:23the
13:28the
13:31the
13:37Speaking of hot and sticky, let's go to the weather.
13:49Franklin?
13:50Thank you very much, Brad.
13:53I've actually forgot my pointer today.
13:55Would you mind?
13:59If you wouldn't mind, please.
14:01We've got some sun moving in over the western Washington area.
14:08Coming down into Oregon over the weekend.
14:13Up there in the Lays, we've got some sun coming in.
14:18You didn't think I saw you there?
14:22Is it me you're looking for?
14:24Who sent you?
14:27Did NBC send you?
14:31You can kill me, but your day will come, too.
14:52Well, that's all the time we have on the 417 News.
15:00Some of us will be sleeping with the fishes.
15:01We hope you aren't.
15:02Good night, folks.
15:15Just for the record, there is no mafia,
15:17and I would like to give a million points apiece
15:19to all our Italian-American independent businessman friends.
15:22Next game is called Three-Headed Broadway Star.
15:28Three-Headed Broadway Star.
15:30Wayne, Ryan, and Brad, why don't you come on up here?
15:33They're going to be a strange three-headed Broadway star,
15:36and they're going to be singing a Broadway hit,
15:39and they have to sing it one word at a time.
15:41They're going to make it up one word at a time
15:42with the help of Laura Hall and Linda Taylor.
15:44How about it?
15:44Quick, give me a name of an unlikely Broadway musical.
15:53G.U. Smell Terrific.
15:54G.U. Smell Terrific.
15:56And the name of the love song from that musical.
15:59I Love Cheese.
16:01I Love Cheese.
16:04So the song is I Love Cheese from the hit Broadway musical
16:07G.U. Smell Terrific, right?
16:08And when you're ready, one word at a time, off you go.
16:17Today, I ate some cheese.
16:24It was delicious.
16:28And it was so tasty.
16:33I love the cheese whiz from my can.
16:46When I eat it, I eat it fast, man.
16:54Cheese isn't just a fool.
17:07It's also a religion.
17:11Cheese isn't only a substance which you adore.
17:21Oh, people love my cheesy way of life.
17:37I want more cheese.
17:44Okay, that was great.
17:58We're going to see a commercial now.
17:59Don't go anywhere.
18:00We'll be right back with more of Who's Line Is It Anyway?
18:08Hey, welcome back to Who's Line Is It Anyway?
18:10Tonight's winner, Wayne Brady.
18:12Wayne Brady Jr.
18:12And because he's the winner, he gets to sit behind the desk and do what I do,
18:19whether it's performing, going on, read magazines, and drink beer.
18:22And the rest of us have to do a hoedown.
18:24Woo!
18:24A hoedown!
18:25Our favorite game.
18:28What I mean from the audience is a suggestion of something you look forward to all year long.
18:33Christmas!
18:36Christmas.
18:37I heard a lot of Christmas.
18:38Apparently, Christmas is very popular.
18:39Now, we're going to do this with the help of Laura Hall on piano.
18:44Laura Hall.
18:46So, Laura Hall, whenever you're ready, let's do the Christmas hoedown.
18:56I look forward to Christmas each and every day.
19:02But this year, I got no presents and I don't know what to say.
19:05I guess that old Santa Claus was nothing but a liar.
19:09And there was a funny smell when I lit the fire.
19:13Christmas is a holiday that I really hate.
19:24There's nothing about it to which I can relate.
19:28So, every December 25th, I kick off my shoes and go down to the deli and hang out with the Jews.
19:35Up in the North Pole, the elves all went on strike.
19:52Santa didn't care.
19:53He said, go on, take a hike.
19:55Things were horrible that Christmas.
19:57It all just turned to poo.
19:59As Shakespeare said, remember, to thine own elf be true.
20:02I love when Santa goes, delivers all the toys.
20:14I love to see the smiles on all the girls and boys.
20:18Really is a holiday, a time to pause.
20:22Every Christmas Eve, you'll find me...
20:25Thank you very much.
20:33We'll be right back with more Who's Line Is It Anyway right after this.
20:41Hey, welcome back to Who's Line Is It Anyway.
20:44We're going to end the show tonight with Ryan and Colin reading the credits.
20:48And I want you guys to read the credits like two guys in a bar about to get in the fight.
20:52Two guys in a bar about to get in the fight.
20:53Go ahead and read the credits, and we'll see you next time on Who's Line Is It Anyway.
20:56Good night.
20:57Good night.
20:58Dan Patterson invented it.
20:59Michael, let me say that.
21:00Nothing to do with it.
21:01The executive person isn't Dan Patterson.
21:02He never was.
21:03What are you talking about?
21:04What are you talking about?
21:05My credits, I've told you.
21:06Yeah, why don't you kiss my two carry, buddy?
21:09I'll kiss your Brad Sherwood is what I'll do before I kiss your...
21:12Oh, you want to go?
21:12You want to go?
21:13Oh, you want to go?
21:14Yeah, yeah.
21:14Come on.
21:14Bring your Melinda with it.
21:16Oh, I'm sorry.
21:18Oh, King Winnicall.
21:22Oh.
21:23You all right?
21:25I'm fine.
21:26I love you.
21:26I love you, too.
21:27I love you, too.