TV-G | 30min | Comedy, Drama, Family, Music, TV Series | Episode aired 20 October 1965
Patty takes a shy student under her wing in order to teach her how to be more popular. But Patty faces a dilemma when she proves to be too good of a teacher.
Director: Gary Nelson
Writers: Arnold Horwitt, Sidney Sheldon, William Asher
Stars: Patty Duke, William Schallert, Jean Byron
Patty takes a shy student under her wing in order to teach her how to be more popular. But Patty faces a dilemma when she proves to be too good of a teacher.
Director: Gary Nelson
Writers: Arnold Horwitt, Sidney Sheldon, William Asher
Stars: Patty Duke, William Schallert, Jean Byron
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Okay, girls, that's generally it. I'll try it one more time, and then you can all try
00:11out, okay? Ready, and...
00:13V-I, V-I, V-I-C-T, T-O, T-O, T-O-R-Y, V-I-C-T-O-R-Y, V-I-C-T-O-R-Y, victory, victory, victory.
00:28Yeah! You see? It's easy. Who wants to try it first? How about you? What's your name?
00:41Marsha Mason. What?
00:44Marsha Mason. You'll have to speak up, Marsha. I've never
00:47heard of a shy cheerleader. Come on, don't you want to be on the squad?
00:54My psychologist thought it might be good for me.
00:58He's absolutely right. There's nothing like cheerleading for building up character. And
01:02you also get to meet some of the cute football players. Come on. Let's go right over there.
01:12I'll count it out for you. Start with the hands on your hips. There you go. Ready, and...
01:21Marsha, that's more like a cry for help than a cheerlead. Let's try it again.
01:34Marsha? Marsha, I was only kidding about that. Marsha!
01:40Meet Kathy, who's lived most everywhere. From Zanzibar to Barkley Square. But Patty's only
01:55seen the sights a girl can see from Brooklyn Heights. What a crazy pair. But they're cousins,
02:03identical cousins all the way. One pair of matching bookends, different as night and
02:12day. Where Kathy adores a minute, the ballet Russe and crepe Suzette. Our Patty loves her
02:21rock and roll, the hot dog makes her lose control. What a wild duet. Still they're cousins,
02:28identical cousins, and you'll find they laugh alike, they walk alike, at times they even
02:35talk alike. You can lose your mind when cousins are two of a kind.
02:50What will it be, girls? I'll have a chocolate soda. Patty? Marsha, you order first, and
02:55think big, I'm treating. Oh, no, Patty. I insist. Come on, what's your pleasure? Uh,
03:00a small lemon fizz. That's not thinking big. How about a banana delight? That's so expensive.
03:05One banana delight, and I'll have a double fudge sundae with sugar-free sprinkles. I'm
03:09on a diet. As I was saying, Marsha, you can get on the squad. All you need is confidence.
03:15Which I don't have. Oh, you had enough to come to the tryouts. My psychologist made
03:22me, and besides, I figured any dope could be a cheerleader. Thanks a lot. Patty, I'm
03:29sorry, I didn't mean... Forget it. Marsha, you know what you should do? You should pick
03:34out one thing that you know you're good at, and stick to it. There's no such thing, Patty.
03:40Why are you so convinced you're a loser? Why not? I always lose. Double fudge sundae,
03:50and a chocolate soda. What about Marsha's order? Oh, I'm sorry, we're out of bananas.
03:55See what I mean? So am I. I have to go anyway. Thanks a lot for the pep talk, Patty. Marsha,
04:05see you around. Oh, my. Yeah, she needs help, Kathy. Someone ought to convince her that
04:18she's not really a hopeless case. It might be difficult. Yeah, I know. It should be someone
04:24who's understanding and compassionate and warm, yet strong and powerful enough to get
04:29through to her. And you know something, Kathy? I'm gonna do it. Are you sure I can't help
04:39you, Kathy? No, thank you, Marsha, you sit. It's my turn to clear. I'd probably break
04:44them anyway. We're so happy you came to dinner, Marsha. We're always happy to meet Patty's
04:49friends. Oh, I'm not really a friend. Just a stray cat she picked up. Oh, come off it,
04:56Marsha, of course you're my friend, and I'm sure you have lots of other friends. No. Do
05:00you have any brothers or sisters? No. I'm an only child. I guess after my parents had
05:07me, they decided to quit while they were behind. Well, you must have had some playmates
05:13while you were growing up. No. Oh, just my pet rabbit, Walter, till he went. Oh, Walter
05:19died? No. We had to get rid of him. He was always growling at me. Marsha, why don't we
05:28go upstairs? Thank you very much for a lovely dinner. You're very welcome. That was great,
05:35Mom. She's sweet. And a lot of fun. Patty's latest project, Operation Buildup. That's
05:47pretty tall order. Stand up straight. Marsha, you know something about that dress? It's
06:00you. Why? What's wrong with it, Patty? I meant it's just right. Doesn't it make you feel
06:06pretty? Pretty? Look, Patty, I appreciate all the time you spend and everything you're
06:14trying to... Marsha, that's why we're put here on Earth, to help our fellow humans.
06:18And I say that dress is you. But Patty, it couldn't... There are no buts about it, Marsha.
06:23All you need is some confidence. Say to yourself, I'm irresistible. All right. Okay. I'm irresistible?
06:37Patty! Be right back. Up here, wretch! Marsha, do me a favor. Take off your glasses. What's
06:47for? Oh, there's nothing wrong with glasses. It's just that when you're wearing them, it
06:50makes it harder for you to feel you're irresistible. But, Patty, if I take them off, I can't see
06:57who I'm being irresistible to. Oh, good thinking. Leave them on. Hi, Patty. Oh, excuse me. Richard,
07:06I'd like you to meet Marsha Mason. Marsha, this is Richard Harrison. Hi. Hello. Do you
07:12want to go bowling? Oh, I'm sorry, Richard. I'm helping Marsha pick out a new wardrobe.
07:15Try on the red one. All right. Well? Well, what? Marsha's going to try on a red dress.
07:23So? Go! Oh. I'll be right back. I want her to be surprised. Who's that? Marsha's a very
07:31sweet, shy, and secure girl. I'm trying to help her. Lots of luck. Hey, wait a minute,
07:35Rich. You can help, too. When you see her in that dress, tell her you think she looks
07:39great. What do I know about dresses? That doesn't matter. Just rave a little. It'll
07:43boost her ego. Patty? Marsha, you look great. Just great. And believe me, not everybody
07:51can look great in a dress like that. It's a bathrobe. Because a bathrobe is even harder
07:55to look great in than a dress. Well, that's the one that you wanted. The red dress was
07:59too small. Oh, I'll try on the green one. All right. Thanks a lot, Rich. You're all
08:07heart. There now. It's almost finished. Martin? It's just me, Mrs. Lane. Oh, hi, Richard.
08:23Patty's at the drugstore. Richard, you've met Marsha, haven't you? Last week. Hi. Hello.
08:29I'll walk over to the drugstore. Hey, wait a minute, Richard. As long as you're here,
08:34we might as well get a man's point of view. What do you think? About what? About Marsha's
08:39new hairdo. Oh, it's different. Richard, you're very observant. What do you think? I like
08:50it. You see? Do you really? I just said so. It looks sexy. Sexy.
09:03Well? She's a winner. Me? That's what the man said. You mean I look nice? Honest, Marsha.
09:21You look just like the kind of girl I'd be glad to take out if I was a guy. Yes, Richard,
09:26we know what you mean. You see, Marsha, now you can start to live a little. You mean caught
09:32with boys? Yeah, that's the name of the game. Patty, even if one did ask me, I wouldn't
09:40know how to behave. You see, I've never been out with one before. Oh, come on, Marsha.
09:47You must have spent some time with the opposite sex. No, only your pet rabbit, Walter, and
09:52they didn't hit it off too well. I wouldn't know what to say to a boy. Oh, that's easy.
09:56You just talk about things boys like to talk about. Like, uh, uh, what do we talk mostly
10:02about, Patty? You. No, believe me, Marsha, it's easy. No, Patty, I think I'd just freeze
10:08up. No, you wouldn't. Now, look, I'll prove it to you. Richard, you go outside and come
10:13in again. What? What for? I want you to pretend you're Marsha's date. Oh, a dry run. Good
10:18idea. Patty, I really can't do... Marsha, it's easy. Just relax, okay? No, Marsha. Cool
10:29it. Cool what? Don't open the door so fast. You'll make the boy feel too secure. Just
10:34be casual. Hiya, Marsha. How do you do? No, Marsha, that's what a butler says. Relax.
10:48Shall we go inside? Oh, thanks. Richard, the girl goes first. Oh, sorry. You know, you
10:56need some polishing yourself. Uh, Marsha, you couldn't just let him stand here all night.
11:08Uh, won't you sit down? Okay. Uh, Marsha, you can sit next to him. He won't contaminate
11:18you. Sorry, Patty. That's okay. Oh, Marsha, next to him. Hey. Okay, now, snuggle up a
11:34little. Now, blink your eyes at him. Blink, Marsha, don't bat. I don't know how. Okay,
11:51Marsha, you go sit over there and watch me, okay? Okay. Hi there, silly boy. Hi, gorgeous.
12:02See, already he's warming up. Now, watch his hand, kind of sneak around. I have a groovy
12:07new album. Would you like to hear it? Sure. Okay. Did you get the lamp bit? Got it. Remember
12:16to turn it off. Shall we? I'd love to. But, Patty, I thought you said everybody was doing
12:32the Watusi now. That's for exercise, Marsha. This is war. War. Richard, where'd you learn
12:44that new step? Old Fred Astaire picture. I feel like Ginger Rogers. You are, baby.
12:53Patty? Patty, want me to try that? Patty? Fred and Ginger used to do a glide out onto
13:03the turrets. Come with you, baby. Ow! What was that for, Patty? Richard, how dare you
13:15try to kiss Marsha on her first date? You're doing great, Marsha. Richard makes it look
13:35so easy. Now try this. Richard, what makes you such a groovy dancer? Rhythm. Either you've
13:43got it or you haven't. Now let's see you do it. I'll try. I think she's got it. Gee, Patty,
14:09I feel like a different person. You are, Marsha. Patty, it's ten o'clock. Oh, ten o'clock.
14:15Oh, Patty, I think I'd better call my mother. Oh, use the phone in Mr. Lane's study. Thank
14:19you. Right through there. Thank you. Honey, you're doing a real good job with her. You
14:24too, Rich. Thanks, Papa. Thanks. I think she's just about ready for her first date. Yeah.
14:29Who can we get? You. Me? Well, she doesn't know any other boys yet and she feels comfortable
14:34with you. I don't feel that way about Marsha. I'm not asking you to feel that way about
14:39Marsha. I just want you to take her to a movie in the Shake Shop. It'll build her up to be
14:42seen with a big man on campus like you. Well, that's true. I've got to run now. Thanks a
14:48million, everybody. You're welcome, Marsha. Richard will walk you home. Ask her on the
14:52way. Oh, okay, okay. Bye. Come on, Marsha. Thanks, Richard. And thank you so much for
14:59teaching me how to do the Watusi. Well, that's what we were put here on Earth for. She's
15:10really coming along, Patty. I think what you're doing for her is just wonderful. Thanks, Mom.
15:15You know what I feel like? Who's that guy who took over the girl and changed her completely?
15:20Rex Harrison. Isn't that the only real joy in life, though? To help others? I mean, to
15:27know that thanks to you, some fellow creature will go down life's highway and find the road
15:31a little easier? Oh, that's very true, Patty. I think I'll go wash my hair. Before you do,
15:37honey, be sure and take off your halo. Rich? Hi. How'd the date with Marsha go? Well, you
15:56know Marsha. Oh, is it really terrible? Well, what do you expect? I feel so guilty about
16:00practically forcing you to ask her to go. Heck, that's okay. Richard, you're the greatest.
16:04Let's go bowling tonight. I can't. Somehow I got trapped into seeing Marsha again. How
16:09did that happen? Well, I figured if I took her out just once and dumped her, it might
16:13hurt her lack of confidence. You really are something else. Okay, take Marsha bowling
16:17then. I can't. Rich, you can teach her if she doesn't know how. Well, I thought maybe
16:22we'd go dancing someplace. Oh, okay. I guess you can use the practice. Where are you going
16:26to take her? The shake shop? Uh, no. Gaga-Go-Go. Gaga-Go-Go? You always said we couldn't afford
16:35that. That's what money's for, to help the needy. Yeah, I suppose so. Okay, we'll go
16:44bowling tomorrow night. I'm afraid I'm tied up tomorrow night too. You're not taking Marsha
16:48out again. She's taking me. Dinner at that new place, uh, Lobster-Rama. She insisted
16:53and I didn't want to let her down. Can I get something straight? I asked you to help me
16:57to help Marsha build up her self-confidence. So last night you took her to the movies,
17:01and tonight you're taking her dancing at Gaga-Go-Go, and tomorrow night she's taking you to the
17:05Lobster-Rama? Right. And don't thank me, because you know, Patty, I'd do anything in the world
17:09for you. See ya.
17:33Hi Patty. Oh, hi there. I remember you. You're, uh, Richard Harrison, a boy. I used to go
17:39out with him. Oh, come on, Patty. I've been just doing the... Your daily good deed for
17:43dear old Marsha. Let's see now, you saw her, uh, three nights in a row last week, and you
17:47took her to lunch in the cafeteria today. No, I didn't. Yes, you did. Kathy saw you
17:51did. I mean, I didn't take Marsha. We went Dutch. Kathy saw you pay for both trains.
17:56Oh, I loaned her some money until she gets her allowance. Oh, Richard. Patty, the only
17:59reason I've been seeing so much of Marsha is to help her. It's like an urn of mercy.
18:04I'll bet it is. Well, if I was a doctor and every night I had to run out to see some sick
18:08person, would you get mad? Of course not, Richard, but... And if I was a pilot and had
18:12to fly up to the Arctic to rescue somebody off the ice flow, or even if I was a secret
18:16agent and had to take out a beautiful foreign spy for the sake of my country, uh, would
18:21you be jealous? No. Richard, forgive me for ever doubting you. That's a little more like
18:29it. Let's go for a milkshake. Marsha Mason for class president? Yeah, didn't I tell you?
18:38I talked her into running. You did? And she agreed. Boy, that kid's really come a long
18:43way. Richard, you may have forgotten, but I'm class president and I'm running for re-election.
18:47Oh, I know that, Patty. Uh, but she couldn't possibly mind losing to a powerhouse like
18:51you. And besides, the fact she was running proves what a terrific job you've done on
18:55her self-confidence. I told you... Patty, what's the problem? Against you, she doesn't
18:59have a chance. Come on. I've created a monster.
19:25All right, kid, I want you to try this one. It's really simple now. It starts like this.
19:36B-I, B-I, B-I-C-T, P-O, P-O, P-O-R-Y, B-I-C-T-O-R-Y, B-I-C-T-O-R-Y. Victory. Victory. Yay, victory.
20:01Hi, Patty. Good afternoon. I was showing the girls how you lead a cheer. Oh, are you going
20:07out for the squad again? I thought it'd be a lot of fun. And incidentally prove to the
20:10voters that you're full of school spirit. Patty... Oh, is that one of dear old Richard's
20:14ideas? To help build up your self-confidence. Patty, did I do something wrong? Wrong? Impossible,
20:24Marsha. You're one of the smoothest operators I've ever met. You should have seen her, Papa.
20:38She swept through the school like a new disease. It's all my fault. Patty, you should be very
20:44pleased that Marsha's come out of her shell. Out of her shell? She crawled out of the woodwork.
20:50She's just annoyed because she's running against you. But it does prove that she's
20:54secure. The third bleach, it feels so secure. Patty, you did a very kind and generous thing,
21:01helping her to find herself. Yeah. Now I wish she'd get lost again. Yeah, but you can't
21:07expect that, honey. I mean, Marsha's a person. She isn't some puppet you invented. You can't
21:12decide she should grow just so tall and no taller. I know that, Papa, but... Honey, let
21:18me ask you something. Would it be such a disaster if Marsha wins this election? If she wins?
21:27Yeah, because it's possible. And if she does, in a way it would be a tribute to you. Because
21:34it would show that she had impressed the voters with her confidence and her poise and her
21:38drive. And those are all qualities that you instilled in her. That's right. So if Marsha
21:47wins, you win. Yeah. Oh, boy. What now? If I beat Marsha in that election, it means I've
22:00failed. And as we wind up this campaign for class president, we will hear from the two
22:13rival candidates. First, here is our incumbent president, Patty Lane.
22:30Fellow students, I am in this race because it is a privilege and an honor to lead our
22:40class. However, we all know the saying in politics, it's time for a change. And during
22:47this campaign, I've seen you respond to a new face. You have sensed that my opponent
22:56is a girl with many fine qualities. She's a girl instilled with confidence and poise
23:07and drive. And therefore, although I've enjoyed holding this office, I say to you, let's
23:14pay tribute to these fine qualities. And in so doing, elect Marsha Mason as the new class
23:21president. Thank you.
23:32So Marsha did win. In a landslide. Patty's speech put her over.
23:36She's quite a girl, our Patty.
23:38Where is she now?
23:39Richard is driving her home.
23:41I hope she doesn't have a sudden letdown after all that nobility.
23:45Hi, everybody.
23:47Congratulations, honey.
23:48Thanks, Papa.
23:49Kathy told us about the speech you made.
23:51Yeah. Well, after talking to you, Papa, I figured I had to finish the job on Marsha.
23:55And you sure did, Patty.
23:57Yep. I took her to the top. I taught her how to win. And next year, I'm going to teach
24:02her how to lose.
24:07Martin?
24:20It's me, Mrs. Lane. Hi, Patty. What's going on?
24:23Oh, Patty wanted her hair a new way.
24:25You like it, Rich?
24:27It looks nice.
24:28You think it makes me look sexy?
24:31Well, I don't know. Turn around. Let me see the front.
25:02But they're cousins.
25:05Identical cousins.
25:07And you'll find
25:09they laugh alike, they walk alike.
25:11At times they even talk alike.
25:13You can lose your mind
25:16when cousins
25:19are two of a kind.