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AmusantTranscription
00:00 (tires screeching)
00:02 (tires screeching)
00:11 (siren blaring)
00:19 - Hey man, my dang old wife done labor, man.
00:26 I'm gonna go down to the hospital and have my partner, man.
00:30 Good evening, sir.
00:31 Do you know why I pulled you over?
00:34 Because you beat me.
00:35 I want a rematch.
00:37 Not here, this is a school zone.
00:39 There's an amateur race at the Speedway this weekend.
00:42 Winner gets to drive the pace car
00:44 when NASCAR comes to town.
00:45 Whoa, man, you talking about that NASCAR, man?
00:48 I've been trying over five years, man,
00:50 to get on that dang old pace car, man.
00:52 You gonna get me on there?
00:54 See, I'm talking your language now.
00:57 Here.
00:58 (glass shattering)
01:02 I'm gonna let that go.
01:03 (upbeat music)
01:08 (upbeat music)
01:10 (bell ringing)
01:29 (upbeat music)
01:31 - Okay, Bill, give her some gas.
01:42 (engine revving)
01:44 Fuel mixture still too rich.
01:46 - Yep, yep.
01:54 - Hey, boomer, look at me.
01:58 Maybe I could be a race car driver too.
02:00 - Yeah, Bill, you'd be a regular Dale Earnhardt
02:07 if you could make it all the way around the track
02:09 without stopping for a ding dong.
02:11 - Or you can do like Jeff Gordon did and have a rich daddy.
02:15 - I hate that Jeff Gordon.
02:18 I bet I could be NASCAR's top money winner too
02:20 if my daddy had bought me a quarter midget car
02:24 instead of, you know, corrective shoes
02:26 that all the girls laughed at.
02:28 - Yeah, his father didn't do him any favors,
02:31 I tell you what.
02:32 My dad didn't buy me a car when I turned 16.
02:35 He sold me one and it was a lemon.
02:38 Taught me the value of a dollar.
02:41 - My dad never sold me anything.
02:44 - Hey, Dad, could you please sign this check?
02:46 I already filled it out for you.
02:48 - Pay to the order of the bike barn, $175.
02:54 - Well, it's for a new BMX bike.
02:57 - You expect me to just sign this?
02:59 - I think you have to or it doesn't work.
03:02 - Bobby, these checks aren't magic tickets.
03:05 They represent real money that I,
03:08 and to a lesser extent, your mother,
03:10 work real hard to earn.
03:12 - You can ride it whenever you want.
03:15 - My point is you don't just get money
03:17 because you ask for it.
03:19 You wanna end up like Jeff Gordon?
03:21 - I like Jeff Gordon.
03:23 He's handsome.
03:24 - Ah, Bobby, you joke around like that in public,
03:30 people are gonna think you ain't right.
03:33 - Hey, guys, a little help here.
03:35 Thank you very much.
03:39 - But Jeff Gordon is handsome and he's a great champion.
03:46 - He's the world's fastest Christian.
03:51 He's a bad influence on our son.
03:54 Bobby thinks the world is just gonna be handed to him.
03:57 He has no concept of the value of a dollar.
04:01 Watch.
04:01 Bobby, come here.
04:03 Son, how much do you think those shorts you're wearing cost?
04:07 - I don't know, they're pretty nice.
04:10 $100?
04:11 - Hmm, $100 for a pair of cotton short pants.
04:16 What do you think the average salary is in this country?
04:19 - Well, Jim Carrey makes 20 million a movie.
04:24 - You see that?
04:25 He doesn't even know the difference
04:27 between 20 million and 20,000.
04:30 You know, Bobby, they say old Buck Strickland
04:34 started out with nothing but a single dollar bill.
04:38 And now he's at the top of the propane ladder.
04:41 Bobby, here's your dollar.
04:44 Let's see what you can turn it into.
04:46 (upbeat music)
04:50 (knocking)
04:52 - What are you doing, son?
04:57 Did you use that dollar to start a shoeshine business?
05:00 - What?
05:01 - Bobby!
05:02 - You almost made me drop it.
05:04 - This is what you spent your dollar on?
05:06 - No, I also got a quesadilla.
05:10 It's from the value menu.
05:11 - Well, thank you, Hank.
05:12 Your plan certainly backfired.
05:14 You spoiled his appetite.
05:16 - Okay, I guess I was wrong.
05:18 But I'll get through to him.
05:20 There's a way in there, I know there is.
05:23 Maybe it's time Bobby got a job.
05:25 - Hank, it's his vacation.
05:27 He's just a boy.
05:29 He should be doing boyish things.
05:31 Bobby, how would you like to go to cooking school?
05:35 - I'm listening.
05:36 - Bobby, I know we've never talked about this,
05:39 but someday I'm going to die.
05:43 And when that happens, then you can go to cooking school.
05:47 (car honking)
05:49 - Come on, Bobby.
05:50 You're coming with me to the race track.
05:52 (upbeat music)
05:55 Well, Bobby, what do you think?
06:08 - The rope is soft and pretty.
06:11 - Look at the pace car, Bobby.
06:14 It's what Boomhauer gets to drive
06:15 if he wins his amateur race.
06:18 - What's a pace car?
06:19 - Well, it's the car that all the other drivers
06:22 have to stay behind at the beginning of a race
06:24 or whenever there's a crash.
06:26 If Boomhauer wins, he'll have the honor of driving
06:29 on the same track as Dale Earnhardt,
06:32 or as you'd look at it, with Jeff Gordon.
06:36 - Jeff Gordon's a race car driver too?
06:39 I thought he was just a cereal box model.
06:42 - Hey, soda's here.
06:45 - Get your sodas.
06:46 - Hey, I'll take one.
06:48 Nice hustle, son.
06:50 - I can rest when I'm dead, sir.
06:53 - You hear that, Bobby?
06:54 That is a good attitude.
06:56 - That's what Mr. Wichard told us.
06:58 He's my boss.
07:00 - Maybe someday you can land a job like this.
07:03 - Why not today?
07:04 - Mr. Wichard, I wonder if you have an opening
07:09 for my son, Bobby, here.
07:11 - Well, if you work for Jimmy, you're gonna work hard.
07:13 The people up there are hot and dry.
07:15 They want something cold and wet.
07:17 You do your job, you make money, but you work hard,
07:20 because that's the way you work
07:21 if you wanna work for Jimmy.
07:22 - So if I understand you correctly,
07:25 you're saying you'll teach my boy the value of a dollar?
07:28 - If you work for Jimmy, you're gonna work hard.
07:30 You make money.
07:31 The people are hot and dry.
07:33 - That sounds just fine.
07:35 This is gonna be a great experience for you, son.
07:39 - My dad told me if I worked hard,
07:41 I could be another Buck Strickland.
07:44 - Well, I don't know who the hell Buck Strickland is,
07:47 but my dad told me I couldn't leave this job
07:49 until I got someone to replace me.
07:52 - Good luck, Bobby.
07:57 You're gonna need it.
07:59 - Ooh, you look so good in that apron
08:06 like a cooking school professor.
08:08 Say cheese!
08:09 - Cheese.
08:10 - Don't smile, son.
08:12 You're a working man.
08:13 - All right, now remember, Bobby,
08:17 if there's a crash on the track, here's the fun saver.
08:20 Try to get me two angles.
08:21 - Teeth are tingly!
08:23 Don't come a knocking, 'cause these trucks are rocking!
08:28 (upbeat music)
08:34 - Soda!
08:38 Hey, Soda here!
08:39 I got peanuts!
08:40 - Peanut!
08:42 Hey!
08:48 Soda?
08:49 (sad music)
08:57 (groaning)
08:59 - Oh, is that diet?
09:22 - Reg, regular.
09:25 - Sorry.
09:25 - It's okay.
09:26 (gasping)
09:32 - Hey, you, you want a hot dog?
09:44 - Sure.
09:45 - All right.
09:47 $4.50 for a jumbo dog,
09:49 and $20 for a tray of stolen drinks,
09:52 and the 28 you owed me.
09:56 Now you owe me, oh yeah, you owe me 52.50, Tommy.
10:01 - I'm not Tommy, I'm Bobby.
10:03 - You making fun of me?
10:05 Here, try 27.
10:07 See, 27, Tommy!
10:09 Go sell some sodas, Tommy.
10:11 Ah, oops!
10:14 (upbeat music)
10:18 (upbeat music)
10:21 You know, maybe now's a good time
10:24 to run some pit crew drills.
10:27 Time us, Boom Hauer.
10:28 Bill, you clean the windows.
10:30 Dale and me will take tire duty.
10:33 Okay, go!
10:38 (upbeat music)
10:47 - Tire one, check.
10:49 - Tire one, check.
10:50 - Tire two.
10:51 - Time out.
10:52 Man attached, man attached!
10:55 (gunshot)
10:58 - Mr. Richard?
11:08 Ooh!
11:09 - Huh?
11:09 - Mr. Richard, I think I'm ready to go.
11:14 Okay, you owed me $68 in trays,
11:19 and you paid me $72,
11:23 but you also owed me 40 for a total of you owing me
11:28 $88,888.88.
11:30 (soft music)
11:40 (soft music)
11:43 - Hey, there's our working man.
11:48 Here, Bob, grab a root beer.
11:53 Yep.
11:55 You can say yep, too.
12:00 You've earned it.
12:01 - Dad, I wanna quit.
12:04 - What?
12:05 Quit?
12:06 - It's horrible, Dad.
12:09 It's hot, and the tray is heavy,
12:12 and my boss is really mean,
12:14 and he calls me Tommy,
12:15 and he watches TV in a hot dog,
12:18 and I think he might be a moron.
12:21 - Now, Bobby, I know your first day was hard,
12:24 but don't call your boss names.
12:26 That's acting like a baby.
12:29 Babies want everything handed to 'em.
12:32 But you're there to work and not play.
12:35 That's why it's called work and not play.
12:38 And if you don't understand that well, son,
12:41 maybe you're the moron.
12:44 - Okay.
12:45 - There you go.
12:46 Now, what you need are a few pointers on salesmanship.
12:50 Remember, a good salesman always says yes to the boss.
12:54 He approaches every task with a can-do attitude.
12:58 And when things get tough,
13:00 he shrugs it off and sings a happy tune.
13:03 - This is that thing about me giving 110%, right?
13:08 - Bobby, if you weren't my son, I'd hug you.
13:12 - That's trade number three, Mr. Witcher.
13:17 I'm giving 110%.
13:20 You know, I have to admit,
13:22 at first, I didn't think you were the best boss.
13:26 - I'm the boss.
13:27 - I know, I know.
13:28 My dad set me straight,
13:30 and I'm gonna be the best worker you ever had.
13:33 - You work for me.
13:34 - You bet I do.
13:36 You're gonna see a whole new Tommy today.
13:39 - Uh, how would you wanna be my go-to guy?
13:43 - That's me.
13:45 - Okay.
13:45 First, you go to the men's room and mop out the unerals.
13:49 Then, you go to my cigarettes in my car.
13:52 Then, go to back here.
13:53 - Can-do.
13:54 - All right, give it another push.
13:58 Dale, no faking this time.
14:01 - Dad, Dad, your advice really worked.
14:04 Mr. Witcher promoted me to go-to guy.
14:07 - Wow, I hope you'll still return my calls.
14:13 (laughs)
14:15 - You got any other success tips for me?
14:17 - Hmm.
14:19 Well, uh, here's a great one.
14:22 Find the job nobody wants,
14:24 and then do it better.
14:26 - I'll do it better.
14:29 - (laughs) You're the go-to guy.
14:33 (upbeat music)
14:34 - Welcome to the Amateur Classic 100.
14:37 - Oh, this is exciting.
14:45 This is exciting.
14:47 I'm excited, Hank.
14:49 - We'll get excited when Boomhauer takes that checkered flag.
14:53 Right now, we got a job to do.
14:55 (upbeat music)
15:01 (tires screeching)
15:04 - Smash it down good, Tommy.
15:08 Smash it.
15:09 Down.
15:10 Smash.
15:11 Yeah.
15:12 Good, I said.
15:14 Don't be afraid of them bottles.
15:15 They pop good.
15:16 Make 'em pop good.
15:17 Smash.
15:18 (upbeat music)
15:23 (tires screeching)
15:27 (upbeat music)
15:30 (cheering)
15:34 - Guys, can we bring him in?
15:39 Can we bring him in?
15:40 His windows look pretty dirty.
15:43 - Well, he's probably low on gas.
15:45 I'll set the flag.
15:47 - Hey, remember to keep Dale away from the, uh,
15:50 well, everything.
15:52 (tires screeching)
15:57 - I'll get the gas.
15:58 Check the tires and the suspension.
16:00 - I'll get the windows.
16:01 - Dale, here's a bucket of sand.
16:04 Hold it with both hands.
16:06 - Uh, Hank, what am I supposed to do with the sand?
16:09 It's slipping, Hank.
16:11 - Nevermind.
16:13 - All set, Boomhauer.
16:22 Go, go, go.
16:23 - I think we did it, Bill.
16:25 We kept Dale from screwing it up.
16:27 - Bill?
16:29 (upbeat music)
16:32 - Oh, man, this little kid's got a window
16:37 dangling the dang old way up, man.
16:39 - You saying no?
16:42 Can't say no to the boss.
16:44 I'm the boss.
16:46 See?
16:47 So put on the hot dog, you.
16:49 - No way.
16:50 You put it on.
16:52 - I'll do it, Mr. Richard.
16:54 - How come you keep wanting to do things
16:56 nobody wants to do?
16:57 - Because I've got a can-do attitude, boss.
17:01 My dad says there's no limit to what a guy
17:03 with a can-do attitude can do.
17:06 Maybe one day I'll even have your job.
17:09 - You ever ask him my job?
17:10 - Yes, sir.
17:11 - You think you're so good, you put on the suit.
17:16 You put on the suit now.
17:18 - Boy, it looked to me like you could've cut that guy off
17:22 in the last turn, but fourth place is nothing
17:26 to be ashamed of.
17:27 - Hang in there, Boom Hauer.
17:29 You may not get to open the race tomorrow,
17:31 but if there are just three accidents,
17:33 you'll still get to drive that pace car.
17:36 - Oh, give it up, Hank.
17:37 The man's dream is no more.
17:39 - No, we can't give up now.
17:42 You know, it was just the other day
17:43 my boy wanted to quit his job because it was too tough.
17:48 And today, well, I think you know how this story ends up.
17:52 Bobby Hill has become the go-to guy.
17:55 (audience laughing)
17:58 - Whenever I feel afraid, I out a happy tune
18:01 and no one out there.
18:09 (birds chirping)
18:17 (birds chirping)
18:20 - Bobby, what are you doing up?
18:23 It's 5.30 in the morning.
18:25 - Jimmy wants me to strain the bugs out of the fryer
18:28 before the oil gets too hot.
18:31 - Well, you know what they say,
18:34 find what your niche is, that leads to riches.
18:38 - Yeah, that makes a lot of sense, Dad.
18:42 But sometimes I still think Jimmy Richard ain't right.
18:45 - Now, Bobby.
18:46 - But then I remember about 110%.
18:50 - That's the spirit.
18:53 - And we have record attendance today with 62,427 fans.
19:00 - Ah, that's a lot of people.
19:07 - And it's hot, they're gonna want drinks.
19:10 - I know that, you think I don't know that?
19:13 People are hot and dry, they want something cold and wet.
19:15 - Bobby!
19:16 - It's nice, but where are the cigarette ads?
19:20 - Hey, look, it's Dale Earnhardt, and he's coming this way.
19:24 - Oh, it's the Intimidator.
19:27 (laughing)
19:30 - Hey, man, I don't remember that day
19:32 on the third turn Darlington, man.
19:33 You look like you turned loose, man.
19:35 You go, "Woo!"
19:36 Rode a dog, tell you what.
19:38 - Man, this road sure is soft and pretty.
19:41 I noticed it when we unloaded my car.
19:45 (car engine revving)
19:48 - And the honorary pace car driver
19:52 to start the race, Officer Clint "Radar" Jensen,
19:56 winner of the Amateur Classic 100.
19:59 (car engine revving)
20:04 - Well, cars are getting good traction.
20:07 We're not gonna see many crashes today.
20:10 - Yep.
20:11 - Yep.
20:13 - So, okay, we wave the sign around,
20:15 and Jeff Gordon sees it.
20:16 Then he comes up to us in the stands
20:19 and is so taken by our charms
20:21 that he asks one of us to marry him.
20:24 - Honey, it probably won't be me.
20:26 I have got a ring on my finger.
20:28 - Yeah, and big feet.
20:30 - I'm only ignoring that because a man is on fire.
20:42 - Two down, one to go.
20:45 - Soda, get your soda.
20:47 - Hey, what timing.
20:49 We're all ready for a cold soda.
20:51 (all talking at once)
20:54 - It's on me.
20:59 Bobby, these sodas are hot.
21:05 Son, you gotta find a way to be more efficient.
21:09 Listen to Mr. Pritchard.
21:10 He'll tell you what to do.
21:12 - Okay.
21:13 - Whitchard?
21:16 Jimmy Whitchard?
21:17 You told Bobby to listen to Jimmy Whitchard?
21:20 He was in my gun club.
21:22 People say he fried his brain one day
21:25 just staring at the sun.
21:27 Of course, he couldn't have been too smart
21:29 to do that in the first place.
21:31 It's kind of a chicken egg thing.
21:33 - You make me thirsty.
21:42 I need a soda.
21:43 - Hey, hey you!
21:46 You, Tommy!
21:48 I need a soda.
21:49 - Yes, Mr. Whitchard.
21:52 - Not that way, just run across.
21:55 - What's the track?
21:56 - Go back, talk to boss man.
21:58 Hey, did you never cross the highway?
22:01 Run where there ain't any cars.
22:03 - They're going too fast.
22:05 - Do it, you monkey boy.
22:08 I'm the boss of you.
22:10 (upbeat music)
22:13 - What the hell?
22:16 Bobby, no!
22:17 What are you doing?
22:22 - I'm gonna cross the track
22:23 and bring Mr. Whitchard a soda.
22:26 - That's crazy.
22:27 Why would you do something like that?
22:29 - I'm giving 110%, Dad.
22:32 - Go to here, go to boy.
22:34 I want a soda.
22:36 Go to now, you.
22:38 - Oh!
22:38 (upbeat music)
22:41 - There's a crazy man on the track.
22:46 (tires screeching)
22:47 (man screams)
22:48 Oh, and there goes Thornton into the wall.
22:51 - Daddy!
22:53 - You're up.
22:55 - Woo!
22:56 - Boom power, bang power, boom power, yeah.
22:59 (tires screeching)
23:02 (man grunts)
23:03 (man screams)
23:05 (man laughs)
23:08 - You can't get me.
23:10 (man laughs)
23:11 (man screams)
23:12 (upbeat music)
23:14 - Hey, Bobby, what you doing?
23:29 Playing a video game?
23:30 - Okay.
23:32 - I just wanted to say,
23:36 I should have listened to you when you said
23:38 how bad that Wichard guy was.
23:41 - I almost died, I'd rather not talk about it.
23:44 - Bobby, you worked harder this month
23:47 than any guy on this block.
23:49 And I wanna give you the money you earned.
23:51 - Dad, I don't want money.
23:54 I was happy before when you just bought
23:56 all the stuff around here and there was no money involved.
23:59 - Well, still I'd like to give you a couple hundred dollars.
24:04 - I tell you what.
24:06 Just buy me a couple of pairs of short pants
24:09 and we'll call it even.
24:11 (upbeat music)
24:14 (upbeat music)
24:22 (upbeat music)
24:25 (upbeat music)
24:27 (upbeat music)
24:30 (upbeat music)
24:38 (bell dings)
24:44 (bell rings)
24:46 (upbeat music)