King Of The Hill Season 3 Episode 14 The Wedding Of Bobby Hill
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00:00 (upbeat music)
00:02 (upbeat music)
00:05 (upbeat music)
00:09 (upbeat music)
00:14 (upbeat music)
00:18 (bell ringing)
00:22 (upbeat music)
00:31 (door creaking)
00:33 - So, meeting a woman on the internet.
00:36 How do you like that?
00:37 - Now, I'll take care of everything while you're away.
00:40 I even made a tape of all your plants' favorite songs.
00:44 - Oh, Bill, Peggy and I were thinking Bobby
00:46 could take care of Boom Hower's house while he's gone.
00:50 - I see.
00:52 Bobby's a good kid, but he looked at his room lately.
00:56 - So what do you say?
01:00 - It'll be good for the boy.
01:01 Teach him some responsibility.
01:03 - Hey, man, whatever, you know,
01:04 he like a lot of do, man.
01:05 He gonna buy them bonsai and then we'll feed the coy.
01:08 - Just think, Bill, this'll free you up for new challenges.
01:12 - Like what?
01:14 - So if we could have the keys.
01:18 - Oops.
01:22 Here.
01:27 (upbeat music)
01:30 - Hey, you know, I'm not really here for a free haircut.
01:36 I'm here 'cause I like to check up on what's happening,
01:39 what's going on, what's now.
01:42 I gotta tell you, baby doll, you're very now.
01:45 - Thank you.
01:46 - You're welcome.
01:48 The name is Radfibidiox.
01:50 Here's my card, you know, so you know I'm for real.
01:54 - Radical Concepts.
01:56 (laughs)
01:57 That sounds exciting.
01:59 - Well, only if you think the fast-paced,
02:01 celebrity-filled life of a concert promoter is exciting.
02:05 - Oh, and your name is Rad?
02:08 How clever.
02:11 (upbeat music)
02:13 - You know, I've noticed that we've been talking
02:16 a lot about Rad, not too much about Miss Sweet Lou Anne.
02:19 - Oh, me too.
02:21 - But tell me something.
02:22 You got a lover?
02:25 - You know, I don't even have a boyfriend.
02:28 My last one, Buckley, blew up in a propane explosion.
02:32 - You know, I can tell you're a very sensitive young woman
02:35 and sensitive people, they do have a hard time
02:37 in our society today.
02:40 I mean, I should know.
02:41 As a self-proclaimed genius, I, myself, Radfibidiox,
02:46 am often misunderstood.
02:49 - Self-proclaimed genius?
02:52 - Yes.
02:54 - You poor thing.
02:56 Oh, what do you think?
03:01 - Damn, that's a fine job, baby.
03:03 That's such a fine job, you know what I'm gonna do?
03:06 I'm gonna ask you out.
03:07 You don't know it yet, but you're gonna say yes.
03:10 - He's right!
03:11 - I'm trusting you with Boomhauer's keys, Bobby.
03:16 Now remember, it doesn't just unlock the front door,
03:19 it unlocks a new phase in your life as a responsible adult.
03:24 - Why is Mr. Doughtree looking at us like that?
03:27 - He's proud of you too, Bobby.
03:32 (upbeat music)
03:34 (sighs)
03:53 (phone ringing)
03:55 - Boomhauer, pick up.
04:06 Boomhauer, pick up.
04:09 Pick up, Boomhauer.
04:12 Oh, right, your way.
04:14 (car honking)
04:21 - Hey, good looking.
04:23 - Hey, Bobby, this is my new friend, Rad.
04:28 That's what his license plate says.
04:32 - Now you see, in the industry,
04:35 man is only as good as his word, so keep it.
04:39 You know, nobody's gonna know that you are a man
04:42 who keeps his word.
04:44 You break it, oh, God.
04:48 Man, I'm telling you, the freebies,
04:51 they drive like a puddle in the sun.
04:53 - Whoa.
04:54 Rad, what do you mean by the industry?
05:00 - The entertainment industry.
05:02 - Whoa!
05:04 - Ha ha, there you go.
05:05 (upbeat music)
05:08 - Hey, hey, now, over there.
05:19 - Whoa, mine.
05:20 - Dad, I would like you to meet a new friend of mine
05:32 in Luan's.
05:34 - Hey there, partner, name's Rad Thibodeaux.
05:37 Pleased to meet you.
05:39 Here you go, businessman to businessman.
05:42 - Isn't that pronounced Tib-a-doe?
05:47 - Well, you know, sometimes by mistake,
05:49 but no damage done.
05:51 Now Luan has told me about you,
05:53 so I know you're gonna love these free CDs.
05:56 - AOL?
05:58 - Mm-hmm, and guess what?
06:01 If you sign up right now, I get 10 free hours.
06:05 All you gotta do is tell 'em that SoRad@AOL.com sent ya.
06:10 (laughs)
06:16 - Hey, Mom, Dad, got it going on?
06:19 - I got what doing what?
06:22 - Bobby, what have you done to your sleeves?
06:24 - Well, this is how Rad sleeves himself.
06:28 It's industry.
06:29 - You know, I don't much care for that Rad fella.
06:33 - Rad Thibodeaux is a self-proclaimed genius.
06:38 (gentle music)
06:43 (sighs)
06:45 - I'm gonna make you a sandwich for your living,
07:02 and what kind do you want?
07:04 - I'd like a, um, I don't know.
07:09 - Whoa, whoa, whoa.
07:11 What's wrong, baby doll?
07:12 - Nothing.
07:13 Oh, it's just, well,
07:18 I didn't ever get to go anywhere this fancy with Buckley.
07:22 Well, except his funeral reception.
07:28 - Oh, there, there, sweetness.
07:30 It's different now.
07:32 Rad's here, baby, Rad's.
07:34 Here, say my name.
07:36 - Rad.
07:41 - Say, hey, Jay, got it going on?
07:43 - Oops.
07:50 - Careful, Bobby, you could've wet Rad.
07:53 - Oh, Rad's cool with that.
07:55 Aren't you, Rad?
07:56 - Um, Rad, I was speaking to you.
08:01 - Bobby, listen, I know you want my attention,
08:03 and that's nothing I can't handle,
08:05 but at the moment, I am busy with a lady.
08:10 You can see Luanne anytime,
08:12 but I have school and stuff to do.
08:15 I have to take care of Boom Hour's house while he's away.
08:19 - Mm-hmm.
08:20 How long is he away for?
08:25 (upbeat music)
08:28 Please see you.
08:29 Enjoy the music, y'all, and the free food.
08:33 - I'll go put this on the bed.
08:37 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
08:38 You better not do that.
08:39 Jeremy's in there.
08:41 He is busy, if you know what I mean.
08:43 (laughs)
08:46 In the meantime, you know, I am feeling kind of thirsty.
08:49 My beverage is on the south end of the levee.
08:52 You know where Boom Hour keeps his spare stash?
08:54 - I'll get his number from Bobby.
08:56 We can call him and ask him.
08:58 (laughs)
09:00 - Listen to you.
09:01 - Hey, does Boom Hour know about this party?
09:06 - Does he need to?
09:07 - Yes.
09:09 - Why?
09:10 - This isn't fair.
09:13 I'm not a self-proclaimed genius,
09:15 so I don't always have as good an answer as you do.
09:18 Wait.
09:20 Wait, I know why.
09:22 Because you should tell people
09:23 if you're gonna throw a party in their house
09:25 without asking them.
09:27 And the red-eyed, fell-in-love-with oughta know that.
09:30 So come on.
09:32 Make everyone leave.
09:35 - Oh, now, Lou Anne.
09:37 You don't wanna make me and Mr. Boom Houser
09:40 look like bad hosts, do you?
09:42 - That's it, Rad The Mosaic.
09:46 I am not your girlfriend anymore.
09:49 - Wait a minute.
09:50 I never proclaimed you to be my girlfriend, baby doll.
09:54 (laughs)
10:01 Welcome, buddy.
10:03 Enjoy the music and the free food.
10:06 - I will not.
10:07 You get outta here.
10:11 You too.
10:12 And you too, this is a smoke-free house.
10:14 - The only thing hotter than this tub is you two ladies.
10:22 Uh-oh.
10:23 Dad, I'm in my underpants.
10:30 - Yeah, that was your decision.
10:31 You gotta live with it.
10:33 (guitar music)
10:36 - Look at this place.
10:41 - 12 years old and drinking a beer?
10:44 - I didn't even like it.
10:47 - Well, now you're just trying to get me mad.
10:49 - Your father and I are replacing you
10:51 as Boom Houser's house sitter.
10:52 And we'll be keeping the $1 a day for ourselves.
10:55 - That's right.
10:56 And I'm taking away your suitcase of props.
10:59 - Fine.
11:00 I can do my comedy without props.
11:03 So, you ever notice how,
11:07 how,
11:08 you can't take away my props.
11:13 (sobbing)
11:15 Because of you, I'm prop-less.
11:21 Hey, you can't throw those out.
11:24 This CD is all I've got left of Red.
11:27 - He didn't give it to you, Bobby.
11:29 He gave it to me.
11:31 - You weren't ever even part of his inner circle.
11:34 - You were just a hanger on.
11:37 - Take that back.
11:39 - Like AJ.
11:42 (guitar music)
11:44 - State your purpose.
11:49 - Mr. Gribble, I'm having a problem with Luan.
11:53 Do you know anything about getting even
11:55 with people who have done something bad to you?
11:58 - No, Bobby.
11:59 Nothing at all.
12:02 (crickets chirping)
12:05 (door slams)
12:06 (upbeat music)
12:09 (door creaks)
12:23 (screams)
12:26 (screams)
12:29 (door creaks)
12:30 (screams)
12:31 - Bobby!
12:32 (sniffing)
12:35 - Just gardening.
12:40 (laughs)
12:48 (coughs)
12:56 - Cut it out, Bobby.
12:57 No one's laughing.
12:59 - I didn't do it!
13:00 - Bobby, we just saw you spit dirt all over--
13:03 - Why would I put dirt in my own fruit pie?
13:07 My own fruit pie.
13:10 - Why you do a lot of things is a mystery to me.
13:13 (laughs)
13:16 (groans)
13:18 (upbeat music)
13:25 - See you later, Aunt Peggy.
13:28 (laughs)
13:34 (groans)
13:38 - If I found out that this was you
13:40 and not a laundry accident, I'm going to be really mad.
13:44 (upbeat music)
13:47 - Huh?
13:53 (door creaks)
13:55 - How do you like that?
13:57 (laughs)
13:59 Peggy, Peggy, come in here.
14:01 (laughs)
14:02 - Oh!
14:03 (laughs)
14:04 Well, that's me.
14:05 - A camera in the bedroom.
14:07 This is kind of fun.
14:09 (laughs)
14:10 This is Hank Hill with the news.
14:12 (laughs)
14:13 - Hi.
14:14 You are terrible.
14:15 (laughs)
14:17 - Oh, Bobby.
14:22 (groans)
14:24 (coughs)
14:26 - You're getting to be a handful, Bobby.
14:31 And nobody likes a handful.
14:33 (door slams)
14:38 (upbeat music)
14:41 (groans)
14:43 - Hmm.
14:57 Sweet tarts.
15:00 (snores)
15:04 - Oh, if this is wrong, I don't want to be right.
15:10 (door slams)
15:12 - Couldn't help hearing the bubbles.
15:14 Mind if I join?
15:16 (burps)
15:18 - Oh, dear Lord.
15:20 - Get the hell out of here, Dale.
15:22 - No!
15:24 No!
15:26 Oh, no!
15:28 - Is anything the matter, Lou Anne?
15:32 - My birth control pills have stopped working.
15:35 (cries)
15:37 I should have known when they started tasting sweet.
15:40 - Like candy?
15:42 - This isn't funny, Bobby.
15:45 - Oh, I disagree.
15:48 - You don't understand.
15:49 Every woman has to take a birth control pill every day
15:53 or else they get pregnant.
15:55 - Just take two now.
15:59 Hurry.
16:00 - That would destroy my insides.
16:02 That's how it works.
16:03 - Take 'em.
16:04 (humming)
16:09 - There's only one way to teach Dale the meaning of no.
16:14 - Mom, Dad, I've gotten Lou Anne pregnant.
16:18 - Lou Anne, I thought you were smarter than this.
16:23 I did.
16:25 - Can you imagine the consequences
16:27 if you had taken one of those fake pills
16:30 and gone out and had unprotected sex?
16:32 - Duh!
16:33 - I only got the pill to clear up my complexion
16:36 and regulate my--
16:36 - Duh!
16:37 Bobby's the one who messed with my medicine.
16:40 - You messed with his fruit pies.
16:42 After that, he had nothing to lose.
16:46 - I'll go tell him the truth right away.
16:48 - No, not so fast.
16:49 Bobby has to learn that what he did
16:51 was completely unacceptable.
16:53 Now, as far as he knows, you are still expecting.
16:57 - You want me to lie?
16:59 - Well, deceiving somebody is never good.
17:02 But in order to teach Bobby the meaning of responsibility--
17:06 - I'll do it!
17:07 - So, how's it going there, sport?
17:13 - Not so good.
17:15 - Pretty big screw-up, huh?
17:17 - I feel bad about it, Dad.
17:19 - Well, heck, we all make mistakes.
17:22 The point is you can make up for 'em.
17:24 - Really?
17:25 How?
17:26 - By doing the right thing, of course.
17:28 You're gonna have to marry Lou Anne.
17:30 - But I'm only 12 years old.
17:33 - Well, just think, you could be married for 80 years.
17:37 - Dad, you can't make me marry Lou Anne!
17:40 - Yes, I can, Bobby.
17:42 You're only 12 years old.
17:44 [MUSIC PLAYING]
17:46 - Please, Dad, I don't want to marry Lou Anne.
18:01 - Well, it's a little late for that.
18:03 You didn't take care of Boom Hours, you drank beer,
18:06 you messed with Lou Anne's lady pills.
18:09 I ask you, is that responsible behavior?
18:13 - No.
18:14 - Well, then having to marry Lou Anne
18:17 will be a good lesson for you.
18:18 - Lou Anne, I know we've had our differences,
18:26 but I was kind of hoping we could make up and not
18:29 get married.
18:31 - Uncle Hank, Bobby's trying to get out of marrying me!
18:35 - Bobby, you cut that out.
18:36 [MUSIC PLAYING]
18:39 - You barely touched that sundae, Bobby.
18:45 - I'm not really hungry.
18:47 - Come on, what kind of bachelor party is this?
18:50 Better live it up while you can before the wife is after you
18:54 to watch the waistline.
18:55 [LAUGHTER]
18:57 - Yeah.
18:58 - Yep, this is the last free night of your life.
19:02 - To Mr. And Mrs. Bobby Hill, may their marriage
19:06 be every bit as wonderful as mine is.
19:10 - And as mine was.
19:14 - Oh.
19:14 - Bobby, I've got to do my homework.
19:26 - Homework.
19:27 [LAUGHS]
19:30 You go on and do your homework.
19:32 Just let me watch you for a little while.
19:37 - Huh.
19:44 - Oh, my little man, I brought this for you.
19:54 - Mom, Mom, I don't want to do this.
19:58 - Well, of course you don't.
20:00 - Come, my child.
20:16 [MUSIC PLAYING]
20:19 - Men, men, it's finally happening.
20:32 Bobby Hip Billy is marrying Hip Billy cousin.
20:34 Ha ha, you owe me $5.
20:37 Ha ha ha, in your face.
20:44 Bobby, do you take Luanne to be your lawful wedded wife,
20:49 to have and to hold, to love and to cherish till death do you
20:53 part?
20:56 - That sounds like a yes to me.
20:58 - All right.
20:59 Luanne, do you take Bobby to be your lawful wedded husband?
21:03 - I do.
21:05 - I now pronounce you man and wife.
21:08 - Oh, Bobby.
21:09 [GIGGLING]
21:11 [KISSING]
21:13 - Oh, oh no.
21:16 I think I need to lie down.
21:18 - Oh, can I tell him now?
21:32 Can I tell him how we fooled him?
21:34 - Oh, Luanne, I am really, really sorry about this, honey.
21:37 But I have some bad news.
21:41 - It turns out that Bill is actually a licensed minister.
21:45 - You mean I'm really married to Bobby?
21:50 - Legally, yes.
21:53 - Then I'll just get a divorce.
21:54 That's what I'll do.
21:55 I'll say he hit me.
21:57 - I guess you could do that.
21:58 But the law is you have to wait a year.
22:01 That's to give you time to patch things up.
22:04 - Ah, no.
22:07 [GIGGLING]
22:13 - Please, Luanne, I don't think I'm ready for this yet.
22:17 - Look, we're going to have to deal with this being married
22:20 thing so the sooner we make the rules, the better.
22:23 I get to date as much as I want with whoever I want.
22:25 You could see Connie if you want to, but just not in public.
22:30 - Nah, I changed my mind.
22:31 You can't see Connie ever.
22:34 [MUSIC PLAYING]
22:42 - Look at the happy newlyweds.
22:44 [GIGGLING]
22:47 - How come they get to be married when I never do?
22:51 Why do they get to be so happy?
22:53 It's not fair.
22:54 It's not fair.
22:55 It's a fake.
22:57 It's all a fake.
22:59 I'm not a minister.
23:00 Dale used to self-play a piano.
23:03 It's all a great-- it's a great big fake is what it is.
23:06 [MUSIC PLAYING]
23:09 - Ah, that sure was some good parenting.
23:12 - I don't think the experts would disagree.
23:16 - Mr. Doughchief says Bobby and I aren't really married.
23:21 - I'm still keeping those placemats he gave us.
23:23 - Placemats?
23:24 That's it?
23:26 Well, he's one of your best friends.
23:31 - You want some milk with that?
23:33 - I do.
23:34 [GIGGLING]
23:40 - I'm glad we're not married anymore.
23:43 But you know what?
23:45 I could do a whole lot worse.
23:47 - I'm sorry for the pranks, Lynn.
23:50 And you probably shouldn't open your laundry hamper
23:53 very quickly, unless you like snakes.
23:57 - Thank you.
23:59 - Oh, you might not want to ride downhill on your bike.
24:02 Something might be wrong with the brake cable.
24:05 - Oh, don't use your mouthwash around an open flame, all right?
24:09 - I'll try not to.
24:11 Oh, um, you might want to stop drinking that milk.
24:15 - Ew.
24:16 [MUSIC PLAYING]
24:22 [MUSIC PLAYING]
24:26 [MUSIC PLAYING]
24:29 [MUSIC PLAYING]
24:32 [MUSIC PLAYING]
24:36 [MUSIC PLAYING]
24:39 [MUSIC PLAYING]
24:43 [MUSIC PLAYING]
24:46 [MUSIC PLAYING]
24:50 [MUSIC PLAYING]
24:52 - I don't think I'm ready for this yet.