Unveiling the Power of Authenticity

Entrepreneur

Key Takeaways from "The Jeff Fenster Show" with Jen Gottlieb.

Transcript

00:00:00 That affirmation was the first step to changing my life,

00:00:02 I believe.

00:00:03 I wasn't seen for a very long time.

00:00:05 I was seen, but I was seen as an inauthentic version

00:00:07 of who I was.

00:00:08 - We're programmed to be this version of ourselves

00:00:11 that fits all these boxes.

00:00:13 - I fully believed it.

00:00:14 When we're kids, we believe it

00:00:17 until somebody comes and says.

00:00:19 - Today on the show, we have a powerhouse entrepreneur,

00:00:24 host of the "I Dare You" podcast,

00:00:26 an international speaker who has shared the stage

00:00:28 with some top thought leaders and celebrities,

00:00:30 including Gary Vaynerchuk, Eric Thomas, Emmitt Smith,

00:00:34 Snoop Dogg, and Martha Stewart, to name a few.

00:00:37 She was also named one of the top 50 speakers in the world

00:00:40 by "Real Leaders" magazine.

00:00:42 But despite all that,

00:00:44 she remains a true New Yorker at heart,

00:00:46 and she shares her Manhattan home

00:00:47 with her awesome husband, Chris.

00:00:49 She's somebody I'm so honored to call a friend

00:00:51 and can't wait to get into this interview with.

00:00:54 Welcome to the show, Jen Gottlieb.

00:00:57 Welcome to the show, Jen.

00:00:58 - Thanks, Jeff.

00:00:59 I'm so happy to be here.

00:01:00 - I am so excited you finally are here

00:01:02 'cause we talk too often and you are too far away.

00:01:05 I mean, you couldn't be further away from me.

00:01:06 - I know, I know.

00:01:07 It's bad, but now I'm seriously made a trip

00:01:10 specifically to see you, to be on this.

00:01:12 I couldn't wait.

00:01:13 This is like a dream come true.

00:01:14 And being here in your really dope office

00:01:17 is like, it's very cool.

00:01:19 Congratulations.

00:01:20 - Well, thank you.

00:01:21 You and Chris need to move out of New York City

00:01:23 and come to Southern California

00:01:25 so we can do this more often.

00:01:26 You hear that, Chris?

00:01:27 Come on, it's time.

00:01:28 - All right, Chris.

00:01:30 - New York's had you guys long enough.

00:01:32 - No, it definitely has.

00:01:33 But no, the next trip is you coming to New York

00:01:35 and doing the Acai Bowl tour.

00:01:36 - Yes.

00:01:37 - Okay, so I want everybody that's listening right now,

00:01:39 Jeff is coming to New York.

00:01:40 We're gonna do an Acai Bowl tour of New York City,

00:01:42 trying all the different ones

00:01:43 so that we can do our market research

00:01:46 and then get an Ever Bowl or several of them

00:01:49 in New York City, and then we'll record it

00:01:51 and Roger Rojas is gonna come with us

00:01:52 and record the whole thing and it'll be content.

00:01:54 - I'm only doing it if I get to do a VIP day

00:01:56 with you and Chris. - Done.

00:01:58 - Because that is one of the coolest options.

00:02:00 If you're listening, before we even get into all this,

00:02:02 just stop, hit pause, and book a VIP day

00:02:06 with Jen and Chris.

00:02:06 It'll change your life.

00:02:08 - Listen to him, not me.

00:02:09 - Mm-hmm, it's true, it's facts.

00:02:11 It was said here and it's factual.

00:02:13 But thank you so much for coming.

00:02:14 - Thank you for having me.

00:02:15 I can't wait to dive in. - Obviously,

00:02:17 I have so many things I wanna talk to you about

00:02:19 because you are a badass at absolutely everything you touch.

00:02:23 - Thank you.

00:02:24 - And you are one of the most inspiring speakers

00:02:26 that I'm speaking on stages

00:02:28 and I like listening to speakers before and after me,

00:02:31 but there are only a handful that I make sure,

00:02:34 even if it's not right before and after,

00:02:35 that I stay and listen to,

00:02:36 and you are one of those speakers.

00:02:38 - Thank you, Jeff.

00:02:39 Oh my gosh, I remember hearing you speak

00:02:42 and it was the first time I think

00:02:43 I was ever introduced to you.

00:02:45 I knew who you were,

00:02:46 but I never really got to communicate with you

00:02:48 and I heard you speak on stage

00:02:49 and I was like, that guy knows what he's doing.

00:02:53 And I was so inspired, unbelievably inspired,

00:02:56 and actually a lot of what I do now, you inspired.

00:03:00 Because you talk a lot,

00:03:01 you talk a lot about relationships,

00:03:03 that's what your book's about,

00:03:04 relationships networking,

00:03:05 our company's super connector media.

00:03:07 And I'm like, oh my gosh,

00:03:08 we're clearly doing something right.

00:03:09 You like double tapped on what I say

00:03:11 and I love that when really successful people are doing it.

00:03:13 Like, okay, he's doing it too

00:03:15 and I'm saying that it works

00:03:17 and like he's actually actioning on it as well

00:03:19 and he's so successful, so I love that.

00:03:21 And it just inspired me to talk about it even more

00:03:23 and to keep going and double downing on that.

00:03:25 - Well, thank you, you're making me blush on my own show.

00:03:27 - Good, good, I want that dimple to get nice and red.

00:03:30 - My fake dimple.

00:03:31 - Yeah.

00:03:32 - But I say all that because I think what you provide,

00:03:35 you know, the name of your book is coming out.

00:03:37 For those who haven't pre-ordered, pre-order,

00:03:39 it's coming out in October, be seen.

00:03:41 But you really help and I reached out to you in December,

00:03:43 we talked about, because I think you are world class

00:03:47 at helping elevate brands, elevate individuals

00:03:50 and I mean, you come from the PR world,

00:03:53 but you know how to amplify a message.

00:03:55 And I did a post on my social media the other day,

00:03:57 it might have even been today,

00:03:58 and it said, you can have the most amazing product

00:04:01 in the world, but if no one knows about it,

00:04:02 no one knows about it.

00:04:04 And that's been the forefront of your entire business.

00:04:07 And you've done it for yourself,

00:04:09 you've done it for other brands,

00:04:10 you've sold a PR company,

00:04:12 I mean, the list that we've mentioned in the bio,

00:04:14 it's incredible, but what do you attribute

00:04:17 and what made you kind of see the world in the way you do,

00:04:19 which said, hey, I'm gonna help amplify all these messages

00:04:22 and all these people and brands,

00:04:23 like what was the inspiration for Jen to say,

00:04:26 that's what I see, that's what I wanna help,

00:04:28 that's what I wanna be a part of?

00:04:30 - Well, I initially moved to New York City

00:04:33 when I was 20 to be an actress.

00:04:34 I thought that that was my purpose on this planet,

00:04:37 that I was gonna say other people's lines

00:04:39 and sing other people's songs as a musical theater actress.

00:04:41 I moved to New York at 20 years old,

00:04:44 I dropped out of college to study musical theater full time

00:04:46 at the American Musical and Dramatic Academy

00:04:48 on the Upper West Side of New York.

00:04:50 And I was like, this is my life's goal,

00:04:53 this is what I'm gonna do.

00:04:54 I'm gonna be a waitress if I have to,

00:04:56 and I'm just gonna audition,

00:04:57 I'm gonna live that actor lifestyle.

00:04:59 So I go to school for performing

00:05:00 and then right after school

00:05:02 or like right towards the end of school,

00:05:03 I ended up getting this role, my dream role

00:05:06 in the Broadway national tour of "The Wedding Singer."

00:05:08 You know the Adam Sandler movie?

00:05:09 - I do. - Yeah.

00:05:09 So I played Linda the bitch

00:05:11 that leaves Robbie Hart at the altar.

00:05:13 It was my dream role, for some reason,

00:05:14 I saw that role on Broadway and I was like, that's my part,

00:05:17 like, I have to play that part.

00:05:19 And I was dead set on it

00:05:20 and that experience of actually booking that part

00:05:22 and getting it was a huge, huge like--

00:05:25 - Was that your first real role?

00:05:26 - Yes, but realization in that if I'm persistent

00:05:31 and I don't give up, I can make whatever I want happen.

00:05:35 Because I couldn't have been further away

00:05:37 from actually getting a Broadway part

00:05:39 at the moment in time when I saw the woman

00:05:40 play the role on the stage.

00:05:41 And I was like, I'm gonna do that,

00:05:42 I'm gonna do that one day.

00:05:43 And I decided, I was like, I'm just,

00:05:45 this is like my challenge to myself,

00:05:47 I'm gonna make this happen.

00:05:49 And I eventually did.

00:05:50 And when I did and I played the role on stage

00:05:52 for the first time, I was like, holy crap, Jen,

00:05:55 if you want something and you're persistent

00:05:58 and you consistently take action

00:05:59 and you see yourself in it

00:06:00 and you believe that you can do it,

00:06:02 you actually can make things happen.

00:06:04 And so that was my first real like,

00:06:06 I guess lesson in entrepreneurship through my acting career.

00:06:10 But I realized from being an actress

00:06:13 and then coming back from that tour,

00:06:15 I didn't like the lifestyle of being on tour.

00:06:17 It's really hard, it's really lonely,

00:06:19 you don't make a lot of money

00:06:21 and you're working, you're doing 10 shows a week,

00:06:23 your body's exhausted and I felt like a gypsy,

00:06:25 I didn't have a home base.

00:06:26 And that was one of those experiences

00:06:27 where I realized that I thought I wanted something

00:06:31 my entire life 'cause I thought it was something

00:06:33 that it wasn't.

00:06:34 And then I did it and it was such a gift though

00:06:36 because I did it and I realized

00:06:37 that that wasn't what I wanted to do.

00:06:39 And I think that happens for a lot of business owners,

00:06:41 they have this vision of what they think they want

00:06:43 and then they do it and they're like,

00:06:44 crap, this isn't what I thought.

00:06:45 And then they have to pivot and they get upset about it

00:06:47 but I actually think there's so many hidden gifts in that

00:06:49 because that experience gave me so many lessons

00:06:52 that I needed to be able to do what I do now

00:06:54 and I didn't even realize it at the time.

00:06:56 So when I got back from "The Wedding Singer",

00:06:58 I got this job on this TV show on VH1

00:07:01 about heavy metal music.

00:07:04 I don't like heavy metal music.

00:07:06 - What made you even apply for that job?

00:07:08 - So the role that I played in "The Wedding Singer"

00:07:11 was Linda and she's like this wannabe rocker chick.

00:07:15 She's like a mixture of Lita Ford and Joan Jett

00:07:20 and Madonna, like a virgin,

00:07:22 but like really funny and kooky and comedic,

00:07:23 but like this metal rocker '80s girl.

00:07:26 And so when I got back, I was like,

00:07:28 I saw this casting for this show on VH1

00:07:30 where they needed a sexy rocker chick.

00:07:32 And I'm like, oh great, I just did that.

00:07:34 I could do this, let's go.

00:07:36 And so the day before the audition,

00:07:39 I'm like, you know what I'm gonna do?

00:07:40 I'm gonna Google everything there is to know

00:07:41 about heavy metal and I'm gonna pretend that I like metal.

00:07:43 I'm gonna pretend I know everything,

00:07:45 so I'm gonna get this part.

00:07:46 And so I'm researching, I'm like memorizing these songs

00:07:49 and these bands, I had no idea.

00:07:51 Like what, I was like, "Poison" and AC/DC and "Black Sabbath".

00:07:55 I'm like, yes, I love this, this is great.

00:07:57 I'm gonna pretend that I like this.

00:07:58 And I go to this audition,

00:08:00 there's like 50 girls in the waiting room

00:08:01 and they all are real metal girls.

00:08:03 Like they've got like lots of tattoos and piercings

00:08:06 and like all the things and-

00:08:07 - They live the life.

00:08:08 - Completely, and I was wearing a fake Van Halen t-shirt

00:08:12 from Bloomingdale's, you know, those like fake shirts.

00:08:15 And I go in-

00:08:16 - Did you have spikes?

00:08:18 - No, not around my neck,

00:08:19 but I did wear high, like thigh high boots

00:08:24 and like my little Van Halen shirt tied up.

00:08:26 I got more metal as I got the part though.

00:08:28 Yeah, but I was just dipping my toe for the audition.

00:08:32 And I went in and I forgot everything there was

00:08:34 that I studied, everything.

00:08:36 So I like blew, I felt that I blew the audition

00:08:38 and they're asking me, they're like,

00:08:38 "What kind of bands do you like?"

00:08:39 And I'm like, "Oh, I like Beyonce and Black Sabbath."

00:08:44 I was like, "Shit, forget it, this is over."

00:08:49 And then the producer looks at my resume

00:08:53 'cause when you're an actor,

00:08:54 you need to give your headshot on your resume,

00:08:55 especially back in the day before like the internet.

00:08:57 He was like, "Oh, I see that you do

00:08:59 "a great Britney Spears impersonation."

00:09:01 And I'm like, "Oh my God,

00:09:02 "this is going in such the wrong direction.

00:09:03 "I thought this was a heavy metal thing.

00:09:04 "I blew this, I'm not getting this."

00:09:07 And so I just decided in that moment,

00:09:10 "All right, I'm just gonna be Jen.

00:09:11 "I gotta stop pretending to be somebody that I'm not

00:09:14 "because I already blew it anyway, so forget it."

00:09:16 So I kind of took down my mask in that moment

00:09:18 and stopped trying to be somebody else.

00:09:20 And I was like, "Yeah, I do.

00:09:21 "I do a great Britney Spears impersonation,

00:09:23 "that's on there, but I know that doesn't help us here,

00:09:24 "but whatever."

00:09:26 And he's like, "Can we see it?"

00:09:28 And so I sang like Britney Spears

00:09:29 in my heavy metal audition.

00:09:32 They laughed hysterically, they loved it.

00:09:34 And when they called me and told me that I got this part

00:09:37 on this show that ended up changing my life,

00:09:39 they were like, "Jen, it was the Britney.

00:09:42 "We all just laughed and thought we could have fun with you.

00:09:45 "And we saw this girl that we really enjoyed

00:09:48 "and we just want you to be on set with us."

00:09:50 And that's a lesson that I had to consistently learn

00:09:53 throughout my life.

00:09:54 But in that moment, it was a reminder that when you show up

00:09:58 and you allow yourself to be seen as who you really are,

00:10:01 that's usually what creates all the opportunities.

00:10:04 Because people don't wanna see fake,

00:10:06 they can see right through it.

00:10:07 But when they were able to see real me,

00:10:08 even though it was like Britney Spears

00:10:10 at a heavy metal audition,

00:10:11 they were like, "That's why we want you,

00:10:13 "because of who you really are."

00:10:15 So I get this gig on this heavy metal talk show.

00:10:19 I end up going deep down the rabbit hole

00:10:21 of pretending and building this brand

00:10:22 and pretending that I was this heavy metal girl.

00:10:25 And it was completely inauthentic to who I was.

00:10:27 Even though they booked me for who I truly was,

00:10:29 I started to like just put the mask on,

00:10:31 pretend that I was this girl,

00:10:32 'cause the show got bigger and bigger and bigger.

00:10:33 I thought that everybody wanted to see me

00:10:35 as this metal chick.

00:10:37 - Did you learn to like metal a little bit?

00:10:39 - No. - Okay.

00:10:40 - Not at all.

00:10:41 I just pretended that I did.

00:10:43 And people could sense that.

00:10:45 And I truly believe that when you're out of alignment

00:10:48 in your job and in what you're doing

00:10:51 and the brand that you're building

00:10:52 and the audience that you're building,

00:10:53 you become out of alignment in your life.

00:10:55 Because I knew deep down that I was living this lie

00:10:57 and I was out of alignment with who I really was.

00:10:59 I was starting to lose real Jen

00:11:01 and I was wrapped up in this world

00:11:02 and this character that I was portraying.

00:11:05 And everything kind of came crashing down

00:11:08 because I believe that when you're out of alignment,

00:11:10 the universe will come and smack you back in

00:11:12 if you can't get back in yourself.

00:11:14 And I was in this relationship with this guy

00:11:16 that was totally toxic.

00:11:17 I was in a really deep depression.

00:11:19 I was severely bulimic.

00:11:20 All the things that come with being

00:11:21 in the entertainment industry.

00:11:22 I just lost myself.

00:11:23 I was a hot mess.

00:11:25 And the show got canceled.

00:11:26 The boyfriend broke up with me.

00:11:28 And I went from living in this

00:11:29 multi-million dollar apartment with him,

00:11:31 with this life, with this TV show,

00:11:32 and all this from the outside, very sparkly stuff,

00:11:35 to having to start over.

00:11:37 And moving into a little tiny apartment

00:11:39 with six other actors.

00:11:41 The window that faced a wall.

00:11:43 And I had to figure out who I really was.

00:11:46 And I had to start over.

00:11:48 - What was the thing you told yourself

00:11:50 that let you start over?

00:11:52 - I remember looking out at that brick wall

00:11:57 right when I moved into that room.

00:12:00 And every morning I would look out,

00:12:01 like, how did this happen?

00:12:03 And I just kept saying to myself,

00:12:07 one day I'll know.

00:12:08 Like, one day I'll know.

00:12:09 This sucks so bad.

00:12:11 One day I'll know why this happened.

00:12:12 One day there will be a reason.

00:12:14 And I just started to think about

00:12:15 what could that reason be?

00:12:17 And my mom had to step in.

00:12:20 'Cause I was in a severe depression at this time.

00:12:22 I was like, I don't even know what to do with my life.

00:12:24 And my mom came to New York City

00:12:25 and she took me to dinner.

00:12:27 And my mom is a Reiki master

00:12:29 and like very into spirituality.

00:12:30 And I wasn't at the time,

00:12:32 not even a little bit,

00:12:33 like not even into personal development a tiny bit.

00:12:35 And we're sitting at this Italian restaurant,

00:12:37 I'm crying and the bill comes

00:12:40 and she takes out her wallet to pay the bill,

00:12:42 but she slides this book across the table.

00:12:44 And it's this book called,

00:12:46 "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay.

00:12:48 It's a book of affirmations.

00:12:49 And of course I look at it and I'm like,

00:12:50 oh my God, mom.

00:12:52 You know, like you with your-

00:12:53 - Like this is gonna help me right now.

00:12:54 - Woo woo books.

00:12:55 And I'm like, she knew I wasn't gonna read the book.

00:12:58 So she photocopied one of the affirmations inside the book

00:13:01 and put it in the front.

00:13:02 I go home and I open this up and there's a photocopy.

00:13:04 And on the back it says,

00:13:05 "Jenny, I hope you find yourself again."

00:13:07 And so I took this affirmation

00:13:09 and I was like, you know what?

00:13:11 I'm not gonna read this book.

00:13:12 Mom knew I wasn't gonna read it,

00:13:13 but I'm gonna take this affirmation

00:13:14 and I'm gonna put it on my refrigerator

00:13:15 and I'll just read the stupid thing every day.

00:13:17 I'm gonna read it every day.

00:13:18 And that's it.

00:13:19 That's all I'm gonna commit to.

00:13:20 So every day I woke up and I read this affirmation,

00:13:23 even though I didn't really believe in it.

00:13:24 Sometimes I was like, this is so stupid,

00:13:26 but I read it and every day that I read it,

00:13:29 it kind of started to transform

00:13:31 the way that I thought about things.

00:13:33 And it helped me just take another action step

00:13:35 in the right direction and figure out what I wanted to do

00:13:37 and start to find who I really was again.

00:13:40 And like, it was helping without me

00:13:41 even realizing it was helping.

00:13:44 But the real kicker here is that affirmation

00:13:47 was the first step to changing my life.

00:13:49 I believe just it was reprogramming my brain

00:13:51 slowly but surely and helping me to like expand

00:13:53 and dive in deeper into personal development,

00:13:55 dive in deeper into like my potential

00:13:57 entrepreneurial journey.

00:13:58 That book was written by Louise Hay.

00:14:02 And my publisher for Be Seen is Hay House,

00:14:06 Louise Hay's publishing company.

00:14:08 Now, Louise Hay is no longer with us.

00:14:09 She died, but I believe that she was watching over me

00:14:12 and it couldn't have been a more perfect fit

00:14:15 for my publisher to be Louise Hay.

00:14:17 And I got to tell the team that.

00:14:19 - And that's just circumstance.

00:14:20 - Complete. - You didn't seek them out.

00:14:21 - No, no, actually we were pitching

00:14:24 all different publishers for this book.

00:14:26 And that was the one that ended up being the best fit.

00:14:28 - Do you still read that affirmation?

00:14:30 - I have it, I have it.

00:14:32 I don't read that one every day.

00:14:33 I have several other ones, but not that one.

00:14:35 - Did you ever end up reading the book?

00:14:36 - Oh yeah, oh yeah, it's a great book.

00:14:38 - See mom, eventually she read the book.

00:14:40 - Yes, yes, for sure.

00:14:42 You can kill your life, it's a good book.

00:14:44 But to answer your question about being seen,

00:14:47 I wasn't seen for a very long time.

00:14:49 I was seen, but I was seen as an inauthentic version

00:14:52 of who I was.

00:14:53 And it wasn't until I figured out who I really was

00:14:57 and started allowing the world to really see me

00:14:59 was when everything changed and everything really took off.

00:15:02 So it's my mission to help people with a service,

00:15:05 a story, or a product, allow the world to see them

00:15:09 so that those people that need their help

00:15:10 can get their help.

00:15:12 And if you're seen as an inauthentic version of yourself,

00:15:15 and if you are not true to who you really are,

00:15:17 you'll start to build a brand and an audience

00:15:19 that's not true to who you really are.

00:15:20 And then you'll be out of alignment

00:15:21 and you'll never serve anybody.

00:15:23 - It's hard to, I find it hard,

00:15:26 and I think I speak for a lot of people,

00:15:28 it's hard sometimes to be the authentic version of yourself

00:15:30 'cause we don't always know what that is.

00:15:32 And I'm assuming part of the work you have to do

00:15:35 is to help people figure out their authentic voice,

00:15:39 their authentic who they are.

00:15:41 Because we're programmed to be this version of ourselves

00:15:45 that fits all these boxes,

00:15:47 whether we're an employee or an employer,

00:15:49 founder or executive, or mom or dad,

00:15:52 or brother, sister, relationship, whatever we are,

00:15:56 there's like a profile that comes with that.

00:16:00 So how do you help individuals break through that

00:16:06 and realize this is the who I am?

00:16:08 I'm not the fake, rock-loving,

00:16:11 Britney Spears impersonating Jen, but I am this Jen.

00:16:15 - Yeah, I think the word should starts to happen

00:16:19 in our life in a big way when we're growing up.

00:16:22 I believe that when we're little kids, we really know.

00:16:26 When I was a little girl, I had this moment,

00:16:31 I was a performer, I was on stage all the time,

00:16:33 and I had this moment

00:16:34 where I was in this children's theater company

00:16:36 and they asked us to step forward and say our name

00:16:38 and say what we wanted to be when we grew up.

00:16:40 And I remember stepping forward

00:16:41 and looking out at the audience with the lights

00:16:44 and seeing my mom and my dad,

00:16:45 and I was like, I'm Jenny Gottlieb,

00:16:47 and when I grow up, I'm gonna be a Broadway star.

00:16:51 And I fully believed it.

00:16:54 When we're kids, we believe it

00:16:56 until somebody comes and says, you should really do this.

00:17:01 You should be quiet.

00:17:02 You should dress a certain way.

00:17:04 You should sit down.

00:17:05 You should not talk so loud.

00:17:06 You should probably be a doctor or a lawyer,

00:17:08 or you should probably do something

00:17:10 that's a little bit more concrete

00:17:11 than wanting to be an actress, right?

00:17:13 And all of these shoulds,

00:17:14 and a lot of the times it's people

00:17:15 that really love us and care about us.

00:17:17 They just have their own fear and their own issues,

00:17:19 so they should all over you,

00:17:21 and then you start shooting all over yourself.

00:17:23 And when you should all over yourself,

00:17:25 you make a really big mess.

00:17:27 So a lot of the times we know who we really are

00:17:29 and we start to lose it over time.

00:17:31 And that's what happened to me.

00:17:32 And the best way to figure out who you really are

00:17:35 and what you wanna do in this life

00:17:36 and what that spark is and that true,

00:17:39 like in the pocket version of you, I like to call it,

00:17:42 is by tapping back into who that little kid is, I find.

00:17:45 That's always how I do it.

00:17:46 I'll lose myself sometimes still.

00:17:48 Every once in a while, you start to follow a path,

00:17:51 even now in our experience, right?

00:17:53 We compare ourselves to other people on the internet.

00:17:55 We maybe tried a business or something

00:17:57 that we feel like we should be doing

00:17:58 'cause someone said we should,

00:17:59 and it doesn't feel in alignment.

00:18:01 We start to kind of lose ourselves,

00:18:02 and we have to tap back into who we really are.

00:18:04 So I have a couple of different exercises

00:18:07 that are in the book that can help you

00:18:08 really tap into like real Jeff.

00:18:10 I call it like real Jen,

00:18:12 that little girl that was on that stage

00:18:14 that knew I needed to be there, and I had that moment.

00:18:18 So I like to do these things called wonder walks.

00:18:21 We might get a little woo for this podcast,

00:18:22 but I think that everybody,

00:18:24 every entrepreneur should do these.

00:18:25 They're amazing.

00:18:27 And they can help you problem solve.

00:18:28 They can help you manifest things and create things,

00:18:30 come up with ideas,

00:18:31 or tap back into your most authentic, real version of you.

00:18:35 You can use it for a lot of different things,

00:18:36 but let's talk about how to get back in the pocket

00:18:38 with who you truly are.

00:18:40 So what I'll do is let's say I've completely like lost,

00:18:45 you know, I've lost my way for a second.

00:18:47 Like I'm doing something, it doesn't feel like me.

00:18:49 I feel out of alignment.

00:18:50 I feel out of, you know, out of flow.

00:18:53 I'll go for a walk and I'll put on a song

00:18:55 that I used to listen to when I was little,

00:18:57 or a song that I listened to when I felt the most Jen,

00:19:00 the most in the pocket.

00:19:01 So Jeff, when was a time in your life

00:19:03 where you felt the most Jeff ever?

00:19:06 - Middle school.

00:19:08 - Middle, you were like, I am so Jeff.

00:19:10 - Yes.

00:19:11 - What was your favorite song during that time?

00:19:12 - Oh, favorite song, middle school.

00:19:15 - Go for it.

00:19:22 - That's tough.

00:19:23 Now I have to go back and think about songs.

00:19:26 - Give me a memory,

00:19:27 or the first thing that comes to your mind

00:19:29 when you were like having that moment of I'm so Jeff,

00:19:31 I'm so in the pocket,

00:19:31 I'm such a badass from middle school.

00:19:33 Can you just give me like a quick memory?

00:19:34 - It was usually activities.

00:19:36 - Okay.

00:19:36 - 'Cause I was really big into sports.

00:19:38 - Okay.

00:19:38 - So I was back in middle school.

00:19:40 I was a late bloomer in high school.

00:19:42 So I was really little in high school,

00:19:44 but in middle school, everyone was little.

00:19:46 - Yeah.

00:19:47 - So I was like the badass.

00:19:49 - You were the badass in sports.

00:19:50 - Yes, I wasn't the shortest guy.

00:19:52 So I wasn't like naturally like pick last.

00:19:54 Like it was like, no, this guy.

00:19:56 I was the star.

00:19:57 So I was just in my element.

00:19:58 - So here's what I would do.

00:19:59 - I was gonna be a professional sports athlete.

00:20:01 - You were?

00:20:02 - I was.

00:20:03 - You still can.

00:20:03 - Yeah, it's a little, maybe.

00:20:05 Maybe, it'll be a cool story.

00:20:06 It'll be like invincible.

00:20:07 - Powered by Everball.

00:20:08 - Yeah, Everball will just sponsor a team.

00:20:10 - Yeah, there you go.

00:20:10 - There you go.

00:20:11 - We'll buy a team.

00:20:12 - There you go, exactly.

00:20:13 Yeah, sponsor, buy a team.

00:20:14 Okay, so this is what I would want you to do

00:20:16 is put on any kind of song

00:20:17 that makes you feel really badass and empowered.

00:20:19 And then I want you to go for a walk

00:20:20 and I want you to put yourself back in that sports game.

00:20:23 So think of one sports game that you crushed it.

00:20:25 And at the end, you were just like, oh yes.

00:20:27 And you were so in flow and you were so Jeff.

00:20:28 And maybe you put on a song that you really like now

00:20:30 that pumps you up and amps you up.

00:20:31 And go outside and go for a walk and walk as that Jeff.

00:20:35 Put yourself in that body.

00:20:36 You are that little Jeff that just won the game

00:20:39 and crushed it.

00:20:40 And you put on that song and just envision

00:20:42 that you're walking back from that game.

00:20:43 And start to embody that guy, what that guy felt like.

00:20:46 And walk around the planet

00:20:48 and navigate the world as that kid.

00:20:50 Every single time I do that, I'm like, that's who I am.

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00:21:49 - And then I think about what's the decision

00:21:53 that I need to make.

00:21:53 I wanna make it from that gen, not any other gen.

00:21:56 Now, should I be doing this thing?

00:21:58 Am I doing this for me or am I doing this for somebody else?

00:22:00 And am I doing this the way that that gen would do it?

00:22:03 Are you doing it the way that that empowered little boy

00:22:05 with all that energy and like, I'm a fricking rock star

00:22:07 would do it, yes or no?

00:22:09 If it's a no, go do something else.

00:22:12 - That's great.

00:22:13 And what I love about what you said is 'cause you said

00:22:15 from, you said the word I am in there.

00:22:18 And a lot of people believe I am

00:22:22 is the most powerful two words

00:22:23 'cause anything you put after it manifests.

00:22:26 And it's true, when you put yourself,

00:22:28 and when I'm thinking back to my own life,

00:22:29 like every time I feel I've been out of alignment

00:22:32 is when I am not trying to, I'm trying to be somebody

00:22:35 for somebody else or for some situation.

00:22:38 The situation requires this.

00:22:40 And to your point, I do a lot of shouldas.

00:22:43 - Yeah, yeah.

00:22:45 I need to do this, I should do this,

00:22:46 but it doesn't come from I am this, this is who I am.

00:22:50 And we get this life one time.

00:22:52 - Yes. - We get it once.

00:22:54 Time doesn't stop.

00:22:55 I have time, it's very faded,

00:22:57 but it's tattooed on my wrist to remind me.

00:22:59 - Is it faded 'cause it's being removed

00:23:00 or is it faded just 'cause it was done faded?

00:23:01 - It's faded 'cause it was so thin that I need to redo it.

00:23:04 But I got it there, not 'cause I wanted a tattoo clearly

00:23:07 because it's barely there,

00:23:09 but because I wanted the reminder

00:23:10 that time does not stop, right?

00:23:13 The amazing moments, they're temporary,

00:23:15 and the bad moments are temporary too, right?

00:23:17 But the growth that comes as a result

00:23:19 of all of those moments is permanent.

00:23:21 So if you only get this day one time,

00:23:25 why would you spend that day doing something

00:23:27 that is completely out of alignment

00:23:29 from what little Jeff wanted to do?

00:23:31 Wouldn't you wanna make little Jeff proud?

00:23:34 Wouldn't you wanna bring all that power

00:23:35 and that confidence and that love and that joy

00:23:38 to everything that you're doing today?

00:23:39 So keep him in mind.

00:23:40 So go for walks with him.

00:23:42 And I like walking.

00:23:44 The reason I do it while walking

00:23:45 is because you're an athlete,

00:23:46 but when you move your body, something happens to your brain.

00:23:49 - Yes, the blood's flowing.

00:23:50 - Yeah, the endorphins. - And you're outside,

00:23:51 you got some energy.

00:23:52 - Yeah, the dopamine.

00:23:53 And then you start to actually embody little Jeff.

00:23:56 - Is it gonna be weird when you call me next time

00:23:58 and I'm gonna say, sorry,

00:23:58 I'm spending some time with little Jeff?

00:24:00 - Not at all, I love it.

00:24:01 - It's not gonna feel awkward?

00:24:02 - No, I'll be like, I'll call you back later.

00:24:04 Enjoy. - Yeah.

00:24:05 That's awesome.

00:24:06 That's a really good, I mean,

00:24:07 so you just gave me a tidbit for what,

00:24:09 I pre-ordered your book.

00:24:11 I can't wait for your book.

00:24:13 And you just gave me one tidbit.

00:24:15 What's one other reason,

00:24:17 if you're not someone who's looking to,

00:24:19 maybe you're not a leader of a company,

00:24:20 maybe you're an employee

00:24:22 and you're working a job that you love

00:24:23 and you never wanna be an entrepreneur,

00:24:25 but you are listening to this show

00:24:26 and you're like, I need to do better

00:24:28 at being my authentic self inside of the organization

00:24:30 or just as a human.

00:24:32 With the tactics that you're going to provide

00:24:34 in I Will Learn and Be Seen,

00:24:36 do they apply even if I'm not the leader

00:24:38 of the organization?

00:24:38 - Absolutely.

00:24:40 What I've found from talking to a lot of people,

00:24:42 whether they be huge entrepreneurs and CEOs

00:24:44 and billionaires or people that are in corporate

00:24:47 and loving their life or parents

00:24:48 or whatever stage of life you're in,

00:24:50 the thing that I find that's always certain

00:24:53 within every conversation or within every experience

00:24:56 is that everybody wants to feel seen.

00:24:58 Everybody wants to feel seen,

00:25:01 whether that is they want you to listen to them

00:25:04 and be interested in them

00:25:05 and they wanna feel seen and important and loved,

00:25:07 but they don't know how to really connect,

00:25:09 so they don't have a network of people

00:25:11 that they could connect to.

00:25:12 There's an entire section of the book on how to network

00:25:14 and how to build your community

00:25:15 because that's such an important part of being seen.

00:25:18 You gotta be seen by somebody, right?

00:25:20 And it feels amazing when you can find that tribe, right?

00:25:23 Or it's like, gosh, I've been living this life

00:25:27 that my parents wanted me to live for so long

00:25:28 and people are seeing me as somebody that I'm not

00:25:30 and I just wanna break through

00:25:31 and I just wanna be able to be myself

00:25:33 and I wanna be in a relationship with somebody

00:25:35 that really sees me for who I am.

00:25:37 And so everything that I'm teaching throughout the book

00:25:39 are stories mixed with strategies

00:25:40 and they're not just for entrepreneurs.

00:25:42 They're for humans in general to help them feel seen

00:25:45 and to help them show up in the world as who they are

00:25:46 because everybody has something amazing

00:25:50 to bring to this planet.

00:25:52 And if you're not letting people see it,

00:25:54 then what's the point?

00:25:56 But you gotta see you before you can let people see you.

00:26:01 - And you do something that most women,

00:26:05 in my opinion, would never do.

00:26:08 And I've gotten to watch you live on "In the Mornings"

00:26:11 'cause you go live when you're doing your makeup,

00:26:14 which means you're totally okay with the world seeing,

00:26:17 and I don't think most women need makeup

00:26:21 in my personal opinion.

00:26:22 But for example, my wife, she would kill me

00:26:26 if I published a video of her putting on her makeup.

00:26:29 But you do this incredible morning routine

00:26:32 where you go live and let people ask you questions

00:26:34 and you're doing your makeup

00:26:34 and you're showing the entire experience

00:26:37 of you transforming your beauty physically in the day

00:26:40 while providing value at the same moment.

00:26:42 That's probably a vulnerable moment for you.

00:26:44 How did you get the courage to do that?

00:26:47 'Cause most women I talk to probably wouldn't do that.

00:26:49 - Very vulnerable moment, very scary.

00:26:53 Not something I wanted to do.

00:26:54 But let me tell you something, now that I do it, I love it.

00:26:57 But when I started doing it, I did not wanna do it.

00:27:00 My friend, Jessie Lee, what's up, Jessie Lee?

00:27:02 - What's up, Jessie?

00:27:03 - What's up?

00:27:04 She said to me, she's like, "You know, Jen,

00:27:06 "I do get ready with me on Instagram."

00:27:08 I remember the first time she told me that.

00:27:09 And I was like, "Are you crazy?

00:27:11 "I'm not gonna go on Instagram with no makeup on."

00:27:14 And she's like, "I do it

00:27:16 "and it's great to connect with my people."

00:27:18 And I remember thinking,

00:27:19 I'm writing this book called "Be Seen."

00:27:21 I'm teaching people how to be seen.

00:27:23 And yes, I like to post pictures of me with makeup on

00:27:27 and the outfits and very curated stuff.

00:27:29 'Cause I think that's important

00:27:30 when you're building your brand

00:27:31 to showcase the highlight reel.

00:27:32 Everybody does it, you need to do it.

00:27:34 It's your online magazine.

00:27:36 But I feel that it is also my responsibility

00:27:39 that if I'm showing that, I need to also take it all down

00:27:42 and connect with people truly vulnerably with my heart,

00:27:45 with none of the makeup on, with nothing in,

00:27:47 so that they can see that I'm just like them.

00:27:50 It's my responsibility.

00:27:51 I would not be in integrity if I didn't show people that.

00:27:55 And I felt like, okay, the best way for me to do that

00:27:57 is to get over my own shit

00:27:59 and do what Jessilee told me and just do one.

00:28:02 So it started with,

00:28:04 I'm very big on sticking with commitments

00:28:05 that I make with myself.

00:28:06 So I believe that confidence is built

00:28:09 from just consistently sticking with those commitments.

00:28:12 You make a commitment, you stick with it,

00:28:13 you become more confident in your ability to trust yourself

00:28:15 that you follow through.

00:28:16 So if I make a commitment and I follow through on that,

00:28:19 so I'm like, all right, Jen, dare of the day,

00:28:22 you're gonna go live on Instagram

00:28:23 and you're gonna put your makeup on.

00:28:25 And the first time,

00:28:27 there wasn't a lot of people that showed up

00:28:28 because they didn't know I was doing it and I just did it.

00:28:30 And it wasn't very good and it was really scary.

00:28:34 But here's the thing about confidence

00:28:36 and about being seen and about making video.

00:28:39 First time's always the hardest,

00:28:40 but once you've gotten over that

00:28:41 and you've taken that scary action step,

00:28:43 second time's not as hard.

00:28:45 Then the third time's not as hard.

00:28:47 And then you start getting wins.

00:28:48 Then cool stuff starts to happen,

00:28:49 like people DMing you and saying,

00:28:51 that live was amazing, it changed my life.

00:28:53 Are you doing it again tomorrow?

00:28:54 Thank you so much.

00:28:55 Then I'm like, whoa,

00:28:56 now I'm actually accountable to people.

00:28:58 Now people really want this.

00:28:59 It's momentum, that's how it's created.

00:29:01 And then that's how confidence is created

00:29:02 because whereas before, it was so scary for me to do it

00:29:05 and I didn't wanna do it and it felt too vulnerable.

00:29:08 And now it's non-negotiable, I just do it.

00:29:12 - Every day?

00:29:12 - Every day, Monday through Friday.

00:29:14 - Every day, what time?

00:29:15 - I did not put a time on it because I tried to do that.

00:29:20 And this is actually a really cool thing for everybody

00:29:23 because I was like, you know what?

00:29:24 I'm gonna do this every day at 9.30.

00:29:25 So everyone knows I'm doing it every day at 9.30.

00:29:27 But my life doesn't go with doing it every day at 9.30.

00:29:31 So some days I would admit, I'm like, shit,

00:29:32 I didn't do it at 9.30.

00:29:33 So that would make me feel like I didn't stick

00:29:34 with my commitment 'cause I couldn't,

00:29:36 'cause I was speaking or I was doing something

00:29:38 where I had to get ready at seven and not 9.30.

00:29:41 So in order to remove that, I say to people,

00:29:44 listen, you gotta set your bell.

00:29:46 I get ready whenever I get ready.

00:29:48 So sometimes I'm on the West Coast

00:29:50 and it's gonna be at this time.

00:29:51 And sometimes I'm on the East Coast at a regular time

00:29:54 and it's gonna be at 10.

00:29:55 It depends on what my day is.

00:29:56 If you catch it, amazing.

00:29:58 If you don't, sucks for you.

00:30:00 And that's what helps me consistently stick

00:30:02 with the commitment because I didn't put

00:30:03 too many barriers on it.

00:30:05 And so no matter what, my commitment is that I just do it

00:30:08 whenever I'm getting ready.

00:30:09 And what I love about it is the value you provide

00:30:14 is so good.

00:30:16 Like I've caught myself watching you get ready

00:30:18 and well, more listening to you get ready

00:30:20 'cause I'll be driving and I'll have it

00:30:21 and I'll be like, oh, Jen's live, cool.

00:30:23 I wanna hear the value 'cause I learn from you all the time.

00:30:26 And I realized I just spent eight minutes watching Jen

00:30:29 get ready putting makeup on,

00:30:30 but it's because you're giving me

00:30:32 so much more meaningful material

00:30:34 that the fact that you're doing that

00:30:36 is almost forgotten now when I see it.

00:30:38 The first time I was like, whoa,

00:30:39 she's actually putting her makeup,

00:30:41 to me that was like entertaining

00:30:42 'cause I've never seen a woman do that on,

00:30:44 I didn't know Jessie did it.

00:30:47 But that was, it's just such a vulnerable step.

00:30:49 And I love that you are confident enough to show both sides

00:30:54 because to your point, the curated material is so essential

00:30:57 and it's so important and you speak on stages

00:30:59 and you're a powerhouse entrepreneur and be seen.

00:31:01 I mean, you're Broadway, like the epitome

00:31:05 of showing the best version of yourself in this way.

00:31:08 But then you're also willing to show behind the scenes

00:31:10 and that transformation and you do it daily

00:31:13 and the commitment to it and what you talk about

00:31:15 and the questions that people ask you,

00:31:17 like you really are adding value.

00:31:18 It's not just this vanity thing

00:31:22 of I'm putting my makeup on

00:31:24 so women are watching other women put makeup on.

00:31:26 It's really about inspiring and helping.

00:31:28 I mean, people are asking you really deep questions.

00:31:31 It's not surface level.

00:31:33 - No, no, it's not surface level.

00:31:34 It actually, and that was scarier actually for me sometimes

00:31:38 than the actual like showing my face without makeup on

00:31:40 was some of the questions that I was getting asked

00:31:42 'cause these are big questions.

00:31:45 And so what I do on Get Ready With Me is I say,

00:31:48 listen, I'm not a beauty influencer.

00:31:50 I'm not a makeup artist.

00:31:51 We're not, I'm not gonna teach you

00:31:52 how to do makeup right now, okay?

00:31:54 So if you're thinking about doing a Get Ready With Me

00:31:56 or an Instagram Live, you can say all these things.

00:31:58 I'm not gonna do that.

00:31:59 I'm also not a psychiatrist.

00:32:02 I'm not a mental health expert.

00:32:03 What I'm sharing here is only my personal experience.

00:32:06 That's all I can share.

00:32:07 And if I give you, I can't give you advice

00:32:09 because we're not doing actual coaching.

00:32:11 You're just asking me a question on Instagram.

00:32:13 So I'll give you my personal experience

00:32:14 and what I would do in your shoes

00:32:16 and you can take it or leave it.

00:32:18 But that wasn't the initial thing that I would say.

00:32:20 I didn't know how to navigate a lot of these questions

00:32:23 in the beginning and it was quite scary,

00:32:24 but here's the thing.

00:32:25 I could have backed off and been like,

00:32:27 this is getting to be too much.

00:32:28 I'm not gonna do this anymore.

00:32:29 But I made a commitment to myself

00:32:31 and I knew that so much growth would happen

00:32:33 if I figured out how to answer these questions

00:32:35 and I could become a better coach

00:32:36 and I could become better at my content.

00:32:38 And people always ask me, they're like,

00:32:39 Jen, I wanna be a speaker.

00:32:41 How should I, how do I become a speaker?

00:32:43 How do I become better at being a speaker too?

00:32:45 And I'm like, you have a stage in your pocket.

00:32:47 Pull out your phone.

00:32:49 We have hundreds of people.

00:32:52 And even if it's not hundreds of people,

00:32:53 you may have five people that are willing to watch you speak

00:32:56 in your pocket right now.

00:32:57 Pull it out and go live and speak every single day

00:33:01 and get your reps in.

00:33:02 That Instagram Live has been the greatest tool

00:33:05 for me to learn how to be a speaker

00:33:07 because I'm forced to speak off the cuff every damn day.

00:33:11 And I don't know what I'm gonna say

00:33:13 and I don't know what people are gonna ask me,

00:33:14 but it's reps.

00:33:15 I'm practicing, I'm practicing.

00:33:17 So if you wanna be a speaker,

00:33:20 we all got a phone where we can have an audience immediately

00:33:22 at any point in time.

00:33:24 - Well, and those reps have, I mean,

00:33:26 what are you, top 50 speaker in America now?

00:33:28 I mean, that doesn't come from luck.

00:33:32 That comes from the reps.

00:33:33 That comes from the dedication.

00:33:34 That comes from you and who you are

00:33:37 because you are so good at figuring out

00:33:39 and being clear on the true Jen.

00:33:42 And I think that that is kind of the magnetism of that.

00:33:45 The fact that you're so confident in yourself,

00:33:47 in your own skin, allows others to feel comfortable to say,

00:33:51 "Hey, I wanna be close to Jen.

00:33:53 "I wanna get some of that confidence,

00:33:55 "those vibes, that energy."

00:33:57 And it's fascinating to me because as an actress,

00:34:00 you spend so much time being someone you're not

00:34:03 that the fact that you've been able to pivot so well

00:34:06 into losing the fake actress

00:34:09 and now live the authentic Jen out into the world,

00:34:12 vulnerable, exposed, real, raw.

00:34:15 I mean, it's an inspiration.

00:34:18 - Thank you, Jeff.

00:34:18 - And I think it resonates with your audience

00:34:20 on all those stages.

00:34:21 - Thank you.

00:34:22 Thank you.

00:34:23 - What made you switch from wanting to primarily focus

00:34:27 on the PR side to, I mean, now the speaking side is huge.

00:34:32 - So we had a PR agency,

00:34:33 a very successful PR agency for a while.

00:34:35 Yeah, we represented some of the biggest brands,

00:34:37 biggest influencers in the world.

00:34:39 And it kind of happened by accident as some businesses do.

00:34:42 So my husband and I own this company together.

00:34:45 When we started it, it was initially Chris

00:34:48 doing these events and I came on and partnered with him

00:34:52 as he was doing these events 'cause I saw the stage

00:34:54 and I saw, "Oh my God, this is like my superpower.

00:34:55 "I can do this.

00:34:56 "I can help people be seen.

00:34:57 "I can help people become more confident."

00:34:59 So we were doing these events.

00:35:00 And someone came up to Chris at the end of the event

00:35:03 and they're like, "Listen,

00:35:04 "I'm not gonna do a done with you program.

00:35:05 "I'm not gonna do a course.

00:35:06 "I would like for you to do my PR for me."

00:35:09 And so we were like, "We can figure that out.

00:35:11 "Sure, okay."

00:35:12 We weren't like, "Let's do a PR agency."

00:35:14 It was like someone wanted it.

00:35:15 So we started doing it.

00:35:17 And then after we started becoming successful

00:35:19 with that person, somebody else wanted it.

00:35:21 And then somebody else.

00:35:22 And before we knew it, we had this huge agency.

00:35:24 And we had a company that we didn't really initially

00:35:28 always want from the beginning.

00:35:29 I mean, so many lessons.

00:35:30 I learned leadership from owning a PR agency.

00:35:33 I learned, I mean, I learned company culture.

00:35:37 I learned how to deal with team.

00:35:39 I learned how to lead.

00:35:40 All of those things that come with owning a big company

00:35:43 with lots of team members and being responsible

00:35:45 for like having an agency.

00:35:46 Lots of different clients and all their needs

00:35:49 and crushing it and then needing to figure out

00:35:53 what to do in a crisis situation.

00:35:56 All these things that I had no experience in, I learned.

00:35:58 So it was like entrepreneurial school 101.

00:36:00 So I'm so grateful for it.

00:36:02 But we, at the same time, simultaneously,

00:36:05 when we were having our, we had our agency,

00:36:07 we also had another section of our company,

00:36:09 which was the education portion.

00:36:10 So the events and our mastermind and teaching entrepreneurs

00:36:15 and business owners and thought leaders how to be seen

00:36:17 and how to build their brand

00:36:18 and how to get publicity on their own.

00:36:20 And that was always our favorite part.

00:36:22 It was always the part that we loved.

00:36:24 And we had to make a really big decision.

00:36:27 It was over the summer.

00:36:28 Chris and I came together and we're like,

00:36:31 what would happen if we took all of our energy

00:36:34 and we put it towards the thing that we love?

00:36:36 So this goes back to the should conversation.

00:36:38 Many people would say,

00:36:39 you should keep your agency, it's profitable.

00:36:41 It's doing great.

00:36:42 Why would you get rid of something that's working?

00:36:44 And we thought about it and we're like,

00:36:47 we get this life once.

00:36:48 We want to do what we love.

00:36:49 We loved teaching these people who had never been seen ever,

00:36:54 who did something spectacular,

00:36:55 like were a doctor that was changing people's lives

00:36:57 or a coach that transformed people

00:36:59 or help people with mental illness.

00:37:02 People were doing amazing things

00:37:03 and no one knew who they were.

00:37:05 And they'd come to us and we would teach them.

00:37:06 And all of a sudden,

00:37:07 they'd get on Good Morning America on their own.

00:37:09 They would get on huge podcasts.

00:37:11 They would build their businesses and they did it.

00:37:12 And they felt so fulfilled.

00:37:13 And finally they built this confidence.

00:37:15 And it was just so fulfilling.

00:37:18 So we were like,

00:37:19 what would happen if we put all of our energy into that?

00:37:21 And we got rid of the agency.

00:37:22 And we just played the stupid idea game.

00:37:25 What if we just threw out some stupid ideas?

00:37:27 And it turned into, I think,

00:37:29 the best decision we could have ever made.

00:37:31 That was an empowered decision, not from shoulds,

00:37:34 but from who we truly are and what we truly love

00:37:36 and what we truly believe in.

00:37:38 And so we sold the agency

00:37:40 and now we're a full-on education and events.

00:37:42 - Which, I don't know if you guys factored this in,

00:37:45 but selling a company as an entrepreneur,

00:37:47 it's an elite club.

00:37:49 Most businesses never get sold.

00:37:51 Most businesses either fail

00:37:53 or just eventually get winded down.

00:37:56 And so it also puts you in an echelon now

00:37:58 where as you're teaching others to be seen,

00:38:01 you guys are also badass entrepreneurs

00:38:02 with a enormous successful exit.

00:38:05 And that elevates that whole level.

00:38:09 So while you're thinking,

00:38:10 oh, well, it is profitable

00:38:11 and it has allowed me all this success,

00:38:14 putting that exit on your resume

00:38:16 of who Jen and Chris are and what you guys are doing,

00:38:19 it also shows that, hey,

00:38:20 doing these things can get you to that.

00:38:23 Because a lot of entrepreneurs and business leaders,

00:38:24 they want an exit.

00:38:25 They're building for that exit.

00:38:27 Unlike you guys thinking,

00:38:29 hey, we wanna do what we're so in love with.

00:38:31 Some people just want that.

00:38:33 And you guys know how to do that.

00:38:35 And I think what I'm most excited to ask you now is,

00:38:38 for our show, it's all about the success formula

00:38:40 and you've generated that success

00:38:41 and you've given us a few of the tidbits,

00:38:43 some of the little rules that you follow,

00:38:45 core values or success formula that Jen works with.

00:38:48 And I'm assuming the answer,

00:38:50 but do you have a pretty clear defined success formula

00:38:53 for yourself or core values?

00:38:54 - Yeah, I've got a lot of core values.

00:38:57 One of them we already discussed,

00:38:58 it's sticking with the commitments

00:38:59 I make with myself consistently.

00:39:01 I was just with five of my best friends

00:39:03 and we're like all other entrepreneurial women

00:39:06 and that's why I'm here.

00:39:07 Well, I'm here to see you.

00:39:09 But we tagged along this little mastermind thing before it

00:39:12 and we all give each other feedback consistently.

00:39:15 And that's a gift that I have in this small group.

00:39:17 We give each other honest feedback and they're like,

00:39:19 Jen, when you say you're gonna do something, you do it.

00:39:20 And I'm like, that's, yes,

00:39:22 because I have found that there's two things

00:39:26 that move the needle when it comes to success.

00:39:28 Two things, always, it always boils down

00:39:30 to these two things.

00:39:31 Number one, connections and people, number one.

00:39:35 Because when I connect the dots looking backwards,

00:39:37 all of my opportunities have always came from people

00:39:40 and connections that I've made.

00:39:41 So pouring into other people and giving

00:39:43 without wanting anything in return

00:39:44 and just being as giving as you possibly can.

00:39:46 And you get this, you wrote the whole book on it.

00:39:48 Okay, so networking people, connections.

00:39:51 But number two, once you have that connection

00:39:53 and you have that network and you have those people,

00:39:56 you need to take action.

00:39:57 Because too many people sit around and think about it

00:40:00 and daydream about it and visualize about it

00:40:02 and vision board about it and think and think and think

00:40:04 and think and plan and they want the perfect plan

00:40:06 before they take action.

00:40:07 And then before they know it, it's 10 years later

00:40:09 and they've been planning and thinking about it

00:40:10 and they never did anything.

00:40:12 But guess what?

00:40:13 You're never gonna figure out the how

00:40:14 without the doing first.

00:40:16 Clarity follows action.

00:40:18 You need to take action with fear

00:40:20 in the passenger seat of your car.

00:40:22 You need to put it there.

00:40:23 You need to know that you're gonna be scared.

00:40:24 You're gonna know that you might fail.

00:40:26 That's okay 'cause failure is only gonna lead you

00:40:27 to the next right step.

00:40:29 So it's people and then taking consistent action

00:40:33 no matter what, doing.

00:40:35 - Yep.

00:40:36 - That would be the two.

00:40:38 - So with that second one, because I think the first one,

00:40:41 I couldn't agree more.

00:40:43 Make friends with everybody,

00:40:44 build your relationship capital.

00:40:45 It is opportunities come from people.

00:40:48 - Yep.

00:40:49 - As an entrepreneur, I know how meaningful it is

00:40:51 to invest in the people and causes that are close to me.

00:40:54 And on GoFundMe, it's easy, safe, and powerful

00:40:57 to do just that.

00:40:58 Whether you're supporting a family member,

00:41:00 friend, local business, or charity.

00:41:03 And whenever you make a donation,

00:41:05 you're protected by the GoFundMe giving guarantee.

00:41:09 Visit GoFundMe.com today to help make a positive difference

00:41:13 in your community.

00:41:14 (upbeat music)

00:41:17 (air whooshing)

00:41:19 The second one is a hard one.

00:41:20 It's a hard one, I'm assuming even for you and me.

00:41:22 I mean, I struggle with it sometimes.

00:41:24 I catch, I mean, I did with my personal brand.

00:41:26 I did with this podcast.

00:41:27 I mean, I think when I met you the first time

00:41:29 was like 2020.

00:41:31 And I said to you then, yeah, one of these days

00:41:32 I'm gonna talk to you about this.

00:41:33 And fast forward, it took till December of '22

00:41:36 and I called you, maybe it's November,

00:41:39 November or December of last year.

00:41:40 And I said, I'm finally gonna do it.

00:41:42 Give me some advice, pick your brain.

00:41:45 And it took me two years and I, the guy who,

00:41:48 I'm clear on my immediate decisive action,

00:41:50 my success value, number three.

00:41:53 I know it, I try to live it, but even I struggle.

00:41:55 How do you overcome the days that you struggle?

00:41:58 The days where you know that you need to do it,

00:42:01 you have the fear, you have the anxiety,

00:42:02 you have the I don't knows and the,

00:42:04 all the apprehension that comes with it.

00:42:06 What do you tell yourself

00:42:07 or what is your little personal mantra

00:42:09 or thing that you do that says,

00:42:11 this is how I'm gonna overcome the roadblock?

00:42:15 - Yeah, so I resist always at first.

00:42:18 And my husband will tell you this,

00:42:20 I am a persistent resister.

00:42:22 I don't know why I do this,

00:42:23 but this is like one of the things about me.

00:42:24 If you tell me to do something, I'll be like,

00:42:26 no, I don't wanna do that.

00:42:27 I don't know why I just resist it first.

00:42:29 And then I have to like come to the terms

00:42:31 that I'm gonna take action on and on my own.

00:42:33 It's very weird.

00:42:34 So I know all about this because I'll get an idea

00:42:36 and I'll immediately, my brain likes to do

00:42:39 this reaction thing where it resists.

00:42:40 And it says, no, this is what fear does.

00:42:42 Fear's job is to keep you the same.

00:42:44 That's its whole job, to keep you from taking action.

00:42:46 So it comes on in and it says lies to us.

00:42:49 Like, you're not ready to do that.

00:42:50 You don't have the money to do that.

00:42:51 You don't have the time to do that.

00:42:52 This person wouldn't like it if you did that.

00:42:54 You know, you're gonna make this person feel bad

00:42:55 if you did that.

00:42:56 Now it's not, you know, like all of these excuses.

00:42:58 And then I'm like, yeah, no, I can't do it.

00:43:00 So I start to like get myself off the hook,

00:43:02 let myself off the hook.

00:43:03 And then I have to acknowledge what I'm doing.

00:43:06 That's the hardest part,

00:43:08 understanding that that's happening.

00:43:09 So if you're listening to this right now

00:43:11 and you start to hear that loop,

00:43:13 or you start to hear yourself saying,

00:43:14 oh, you can't do that because

00:43:16 after you've gotten that big idea,

00:43:17 take a pause and just talk to fear.

00:43:21 I talk to fear.

00:43:22 I have conversations with fear.

00:43:24 I do a lot of these weird talking to people

00:43:27 and things that don't exist,

00:43:28 but it's helped me in my life, so why not?

00:43:30 So I'll be like, oh, fear, hi.

00:43:33 - Oh, you legitimately talk to fear.

00:43:34 - Legit, I see you, I get it.

00:43:36 I know you're telling me that I don't have time.

00:43:38 You're telling me that I'm not good enough.

00:43:39 You're telling me that I don't have the energy to do that,

00:43:42 or I'm gonna be burnt out if I do that,

00:43:44 or I'm too overwhelmed.

00:43:44 This is what my fear usually tells me.

00:43:46 You're too overwhelmed, you can't do that.

00:43:47 We're always more capable than we think.

00:43:50 We always have more time than we think.

00:43:51 We always have more energy than we think.

00:43:53 So then I say, guess what, fear?

00:43:55 Thank you.

00:43:56 Thank you for coming and keeping me safe

00:43:59 and doing your very, very best,

00:44:01 but you're gonna sit in the passenger seat of the car.

00:44:04 I'm gonna put you there.

00:44:05 You're gonna be there, and I'm driving.

00:44:07 You can't touch the radio.

00:44:08 You can't yell at me anymore.

00:44:10 You're just gonna sit there.

00:44:10 We're gonna go together.

00:44:11 I know you're gonna be there,

00:44:12 but I'm gonna take action on this first step anyways.

00:44:15 And usually when I have that little conversation with fear,

00:44:17 like F you fear, and I give it the finger,

00:44:19 and I say, sit in the car and shut up.

00:44:22 Now what's the first step that I can do

00:44:24 that's the lowest hanging fruit to get me a win?

00:44:27 Because motivation and momentum does not come

00:44:30 from thinking about it.

00:44:31 It doesn't come from looking at a pretty picture

00:44:32 or listening to a podcast or reading an inspirational book.

00:44:35 Maybe that's inspiring,

00:44:36 but it doesn't create momentum or motivation.

00:44:38 Momentum and motivation comes from getting a win,

00:44:40 from doing something hard and feeling the dopamine,

00:44:43 from doing that thing and oh, I succeeded, yay.

00:44:46 Now I wanna do the next thing.

00:44:47 So I think of, okay, fear, shut up,

00:44:49 get in the passenger seat of the car.

00:44:51 Now what's the lowest hanging fruit?

00:44:53 How can I get a win?

00:44:54 So I do the easiest possible thing that I can do

00:44:58 in the direction of what I'm gonna do

00:45:00 that's gonna get me a win

00:45:01 to give me a little bit of motivation

00:45:03 to get to the next step.

00:45:05 All you gotta do is kickstart that motivation.

00:45:07 I call it the confidence continuum.

00:45:09 And once you've gotten that little win,

00:45:10 it could be the smallest win ever,

00:45:12 celebrate it and use that energy to go to that next step.

00:45:17 And then it'll give you the next step

00:45:19 and then the next one.

00:45:20 That's how the Instagram live was born.

00:45:22 - I love that.

00:45:23 It works too.

00:45:24 That daily commitment, that Kaizen, I call it Kaizen.

00:45:28 Get 1% better every day.

00:45:29 - Exactly.

00:45:30 - Just small micro goals, win stack.

00:45:33 'Cause if you win these little things

00:45:34 that Jen's talking about,

00:45:36 what happens is you build the confidence.

00:45:38 And just in time, you'll figure out how to do the next one.

00:45:41 I mean, now you look like such a pro.

00:45:42 Like you could have a TV show, "Getting Ready With Jen."

00:45:45 I mean, it could be its own actually on TV show.

00:45:48 And I guarantee you,

00:45:50 advertisers would pay a lot of money

00:45:51 to advertise during that show.

00:45:53 - Hey.

00:45:54 - Just saying, yeah.

00:45:56 - Get ready with me.

00:45:57 - Yes.

00:45:58 - Yeah, thank you.

00:45:59 No, I think this is how things are born,

00:46:02 but it's not born from me saying,

00:46:04 oh yeah, I'm gonna do,

00:46:05 if I sat down and said,

00:46:06 I'm gonna do lives every single day

00:46:08 and it's gonna become a TV show

00:46:09 and I'm gonna do it Monday through Friday,

00:46:11 I probably would have scared myself out of it

00:46:12 and I would have never done it.

00:46:13 But I said, no, I'm just gonna do this today.

00:46:16 I'm gonna do this today.

00:46:18 And it's gonna be scary and it's gonna suck,

00:46:20 but I'm gonna do it.

00:46:21 And that turned into, okay, I could do it tomorrow.

00:46:23 - So on your worst days.

00:46:25 - Yeah.

00:46:26 - When everything's going wrong or you didn't sleep.

00:46:29 - Yeah.

00:46:30 - All those things, all the bad stuff.

00:46:32 What do you tell yourself to make you do it on those days?

00:46:34 - I've had lots of days like that

00:46:36 where I had to do the live and I really didn't feel good.

00:46:39 And I remember one in particular,

00:46:42 or there's two, one's in my book.

00:46:44 My dog, my beloved Dexter, the love of my life, my baby,

00:46:48 my 14 year old dog died.

00:46:49 And this was last, it's okay.

00:46:51 Last year he was old and it was time

00:46:53 and it was a peaceful way and everything like that.

00:46:55 But either way, it's a really sad time.

00:46:57 And I woke up in the morning,

00:46:58 I did not wanna go live on social media.

00:47:01 That was the last thing on the planet earth

00:47:02 that I wanted to do.

00:47:04 I just wanted to be sad.

00:47:06 And I had this commitment that I made to myself.

00:47:08 And I thought about it for a second.

00:47:09 I was like, "Jen, you could probably take this day off.

00:47:12 "You could take this day off.

00:47:13 "It would be okay.

00:47:15 "You have that option.

00:47:16 "Or you can do it and you can be honest

00:47:20 "and you can be vulnerable

00:47:21 "and you can allow the world to see you."

00:47:22 Because that's what this is about.

00:47:23 And I guarantee that there's other people out there

00:47:25 that have lost a dog.

00:47:26 Maybe if you talk about this,

00:47:28 not only can you help somebody else,

00:47:30 but you might feel better by helping somebody else

00:47:33 and talking about it and being in community.

00:47:36 And so what ended up happening is I did it with fear.

00:47:39 I did it uncomfortable.

00:47:40 I did it even though I didn't feel good.

00:47:41 I did it even though my face was puffy from crying

00:47:43 and I looked way worse than I normally do

00:47:45 with no makeup on.

00:47:46 It was like no makeup plus like puffiness,

00:47:48 you know, all the things.

00:47:49 And I get on and I'm like, "Guys, I was just real.

00:47:52 "I was like, today I'm just not feeling it.

00:47:54 "I'm gonna let you know, but I'm here for you

00:47:55 "because I made this commitment

00:47:57 "and I made this commitment to myself

00:47:58 "and maybe this is gonna help one person."

00:48:00 And I talked about Dexter a little bit

00:48:02 and I was honest and I was open.

00:48:03 I had a little tear,

00:48:05 but you wanna know something so interesting.

00:48:07 One of my best friends, Amy Porterfield,

00:48:09 she never really joins my life.

00:48:10 She's very busy.

00:48:11 She's a very successful entrepreneur, very.

00:48:14 For the first time ever, she joins my live.

00:48:16 I see her there.

00:48:17 She had never joined one before ever.

00:48:18 And all of a sudden, Amy's in my comments saying,

00:48:21 "I love you, Jen.

00:48:23 "I miss you.

00:48:24 "I'm so sorry about Dexter."

00:48:25 And just that connection of that person

00:48:27 that I loved being there and seeing.

00:48:29 If I didn't go live, she wouldn't have known.

00:48:31 I wouldn't have connected with her in that way.

00:48:33 And then she was able to text me after and say,

00:48:35 "Listen, I lost my dog last year."

00:48:36 And we had this moment together

00:48:38 and it really made me feel better.

00:48:39 So taking action and being real and being open

00:48:43 and being vulnerable in that moment

00:48:45 when I didn't wanna do it

00:48:46 ended up being the greatest gift that I did it anyway

00:48:49 because Amy and I had a beautiful conversation about it.

00:48:52 Made me feel better.

00:48:53 Made me be connected to my friend.

00:48:54 And I got a lot of messages after from people

00:48:56 that were like, "I lost my dog last year.

00:48:58 "My dog's really old and sick.

00:48:59 "That really helped me."

00:49:00 And it turned a really crappy situation

00:49:03 into a really beautiful moment of learning for me

00:49:06 because it was then another lesson in show up anyway

00:49:09 because there's always a gift.

00:49:11 There's always a gift.

00:49:12 If I didn't show up,

00:49:13 then I would have just what, laid in my bed and cried?

00:49:14 Okay.

00:49:15 But there was so much.

00:49:16 And now we're having this discussion on this podcast

00:49:18 and it's gonna provide value to other people.

00:49:20 It's a snowball.

00:49:21 - It is a snowball.

00:49:21 And it's that taking immediate decisive action,

00:49:24 making the determination to show up anyway.

00:49:27 And it's hard.

00:49:28 I was actually, I was at a very good mutual friend of ours,

00:49:32 David Meltzer's daughter's graduation

00:49:34 and his brother, Brett, who's family to me,

00:49:36 we were talking and he actually said something

00:49:38 and it just, he really hit home.

00:49:39 So he did, for four years,

00:49:41 he's done a mile and a half of walking or running every day.

00:49:46 Sick, not feeling good, travel, doesn't matter.

00:49:50 And I said to him, I said,

00:49:51 "Now, you haven't missed a single day?"

00:49:53 Like if you were, he's like,

00:49:54 "I've done it a couple of times with 102 fever."

00:49:56 And I said, "How?"

00:49:57 So naturally the curiosity in me just took over.

00:50:00 And so I'm picking, I'm like sitting there like

00:50:02 with my popcorn, like watching a movie and asking questions

00:50:04 'cause it's fascinating to me what makes people tick.

00:50:07 And I've known Brett for 35 years.

00:50:10 So to see that side of him was unique.

00:50:12 And he was like, "Jeff, the thing is,

00:50:14 as I was telling my wife, I could take a day off,

00:50:17 but if I'm an alcoholic and I have just one drink,

00:50:21 what happens?"

00:50:22 And he's like, "If I take one day off

00:50:23 because I'm not feeling good or because of this

00:50:26 or because of whatever excuse I come up with,

00:50:28 I've now given myself permission to take more.

00:50:31 And my entire track record and consistency

00:50:34 that you talked about is gone.

00:50:37 And by doing it on the days I really don't want to,

00:50:39 makes the days I want to even more productive and better.

00:50:42 And now I don't even think about it.

00:50:44 It's like brushing my teeth.

00:50:45 Do we ever take a day off from brushing our teeth?

00:50:47 Never.

00:50:48 And so those things that matter most about that consistency

00:50:51 and the delivering of value,

00:50:52 and for him, it's the personal health journey.

00:50:54 I mean, he's made so many amazing strides.

00:50:56 I'm so proud of him,

00:50:58 with how he's transformed his health

00:50:59 and taken his health seriously.

00:51:00 And obviously with Everbole,

00:51:02 I'm a bit of a fanatic on that front.

00:51:05 But to your point,

00:51:06 it's very similar to what you're saying about consistently.

00:51:08 Like, I don't feel like showing up, but I show up anyway.

00:51:11 And a large part of success hides in those moments.

00:51:15 That's the differentiator.

00:51:17 Because the Gen counterpart that's not as good as you

00:51:20 and isn't as inspired and motivated and disciplined

00:51:22 and committed as you,

00:51:23 who's trying to do the things that you're doing in life,

00:51:26 all those days off,

00:51:27 all those times when she or he doesn't feel like doing it

00:51:29 and they don't, that's the difference.

00:51:32 It's not the days,

00:51:33 it's very easy to do things on the days we all feel like it.

00:51:36 And I think, just one more piece to that.

00:51:39 I think it was either Michael Jordan

00:51:41 or Scottie Pippen talked about it,

00:51:43 that they said, "It's very easy to train when you feel good."

00:51:47 It's very easy to perform and do live

00:51:50 the mornings you wake up and you're like,

00:51:51 "Oh, I feel really good today.

00:51:53 I slept good, I look good, everything's great."

00:51:55 It's the days when your dog passed away

00:51:57 or that you had a rough night with something personal

00:52:00 or you didn't sleep or there was a flood in the building

00:52:02 and you've traveled and you're on two hours sleep

00:52:04 and you don't wanna do this.

00:52:06 Those are the days where we define success,

00:52:08 where we figure out how and what makes us that top 1%,

00:52:13 that little difference.

00:52:15 And so I love that you talk about that

00:52:16 because I think that so many people need to hear,

00:52:19 they see you and I see you as a fan of you.

00:52:21 And I'm like, "Oh man, Jen is just perfect.

00:52:23 She's such a badass in all the things."

00:52:25 And to hear that even you have those same struggles,

00:52:28 we all do.

00:52:30 And to hear you go through that and how you overcome it,

00:52:32 I think I'm gonna learn from it and take from it.

00:52:34 I think everyone else is going to as well,

00:52:35 which is show up anyway.

00:52:37 Be your authentic self when you don't want to.

00:52:41 - Yeah.

00:52:42 Well, yeah, that's why if it was easy,

00:52:45 then everybody would be really successful.

00:52:47 And that's why it's so much more worth it too

00:52:49 when it was hard.

00:52:51 You know, and I have this thing that I do

00:52:54 that I'd love to share with the audience

00:52:55 'cause it's really, really powerful for me.

00:52:57 And it helps me to get better at doing hard things.

00:53:00 I like to pride myself now

00:53:01 and like I'm really good at doing hardship

00:53:03 because I practice doing it all the time.

00:53:04 Like I just am always doing hard things,

00:53:06 even though it's uncomfortable.

00:53:07 I know the discomfort's temporary, time doesn't stop,

00:53:10 the growth is permanent.

00:53:11 It'll be over before I know it, I'll be in my bed.

00:53:13 But this is how I train myself to remember that.

00:53:15 So you exercise, obviously, right?

00:53:17 And so for those of you who exercise,

00:53:19 this'll be really relevant to you

00:53:21 if you don't exercise, you can think about it in other ways.

00:53:23 - And start exercising.

00:53:24 - Yeah, start exercising, you should.

00:53:26 So when I go to the gym, I work out hard.

00:53:28 I lift heavy weights, like I push myself.

00:53:30 And I used to do it to be skinny, to be fit,

00:53:33 for my body to look a certain way.

00:53:34 And yeah, that's a bonus of working out.

00:53:37 But now I really do it to push myself mentally,

00:53:39 to really experience as much discomfort

00:53:41 as I possibly can in that time

00:53:43 so that I can already know by like the end of that workout,

00:53:46 I got my reps in, my discomfort reps, my confidence reps,

00:53:49 my self-trust reps, that I can get through

00:53:51 hard, painful things.

00:53:52 So the way that I remind myself that I did that

00:53:54 or that I can do that every time is no matter what,

00:53:57 when I'm done with my workout, I lay on the mat

00:53:59 and I look up at the sky and I have a moment on the mat.

00:54:02 And I say to myself, here you are on the mat again.

00:54:06 You always end up here.

00:54:08 It's like a timestamp.

00:54:10 You always end up back on the mat,

00:54:12 no matter how hard the workout,

00:54:13 no matter how hard that rep was,

00:54:15 or that last mile was so hard, you didn't wanna do it.

00:54:17 You didn't wanna do that last squat.

00:54:19 You could have given up.

00:54:20 Like no matter what, that discomfort's gonna end

00:54:22 and you're gonna end up laying on the mat,

00:54:24 whether you're at your home gym, a hotel gym,

00:54:26 the grass outside, you're gonna end up laying there.

00:54:29 So who do you wanna be in the time

00:54:31 between the workout starting

00:54:32 and the laying on the mat moment?

00:54:34 Same thing goes for that conversation was hard.

00:54:37 The day was hard.

00:54:37 I didn't think I could get through it.

00:54:38 I didn't think I could get through that day.

00:54:40 You're gonna end up in your bed that night,

00:54:42 looking up at the sky.

00:54:43 Are you proud of yourself the way you showed up?

00:54:45 No matter what, it's gonna end.

00:54:47 And so when I have that moment, I call it my mat moment.

00:54:50 Here I am.

00:54:51 It kind of subconsciously goes into when I'm working out,

00:54:55 when I'm doing hard things.

00:54:57 Like a little thing inside of me says,

00:54:58 Jen, you're gonna end up on the mat tomorrow.

00:55:00 You're gonna end up in your bed tonight.

00:55:02 How do you wanna show up right now?

00:55:03 Can you show up for another one more minute

00:55:05 of this discomfort?

00:55:07 Can you push through?

00:55:07 I think you can.

00:55:09 'Cause in two seconds, you're gonna be on the mat

00:55:12 after your workout tomorrow.

00:55:13 And the thing's gonna be over.

00:55:16 - I love that you call it discomfort reps.

00:55:17 I'm gonna steal that.

00:55:18 - Take it.

00:55:19 - Because it is, it's a skill.

00:55:21 Learning how to handle the discomfort, the pain,

00:55:23 the temporary discomfort, it does require reps.

00:55:27 It requires skill.

00:55:28 It's like getting out of our comfort zone.

00:55:30 I talk about that so often.

00:55:31 Like get out of your comfort zone.

00:55:32 And it's hard the first time.

00:55:34 But once you do it regularly, like all things,

00:55:37 it becomes easier.

00:55:38 And somebody else told me once,

00:55:39 to have any type of growth, you have to put weight on it.

00:55:41 All things, right?

00:55:42 Even a tree, a plant.

00:55:44 Growth requires weight.

00:55:45 It requires the discomfort.

00:55:47 If you plant a tree in a still room,

00:55:49 and there's no wind, and there's no discomfort,

00:55:51 and there's nothing, and it's perfect environment,

00:55:53 it has very weak roots.

00:55:55 It'll just fall over.

00:55:56 But you plant that same tree on the side of a mountain

00:55:57 with a lot of wind, and a lot of rain,

00:56:00 and a lot of just atmosphere experience hitting it,

00:56:03 the roots are strong,

00:56:04 and that thing is never going anywhere.

00:56:06 It's true with ourselves.

00:56:07 We have to run towards heart and discomfort.

00:56:10 It's the barrier.

00:56:11 It's the gate.

00:56:12 It's the gatekeeper to all the things we want.

00:56:14 And so the more we practice,

00:56:16 and that's why working out is great,

00:56:17 because it's a controlled environment.

00:56:18 It's a simple way to practice regularly.

00:56:21 Discomfort reps by Jen.

00:56:23 You know, you should write a book,

00:56:24 not the one that's coming out in October,

00:56:26 your second book.

00:56:27 - My second one?

00:56:27 - Yeah, your second book. - What is it?

00:56:28 - Should be all these little fun mantras that you have.

00:56:31 All these little fun things from my map moment,

00:56:34 discomfort reps, talking to fear.

00:56:36 - A lot of these things are NBC.

00:56:38 - Oh, well, see, I bought it.

00:56:39 I haven't gotten the book yet.

00:56:40 - It's not out yet.

00:56:41 It's pre-order.

00:56:42 So yeah, but you can, by the way.

00:56:44 - I don't have patience for that.

00:56:45 I'm gonna send you the first chapter.

00:56:47 I'll actually send you the whole manuscript.

00:56:48 You can read it.

00:56:49 - I want to.

00:56:50 Yes.

00:56:50 - You got it.

00:56:51 - Can I?

00:56:52 - Before anybody else.

00:56:53 - Okay, you heard that?

00:56:54 I'm gonna sneak peek.

00:56:55 - You got it. - Can't wait.

00:56:58 Well, this has been wonderful, Jen.

00:56:59 I am so excited that you came and visited me,

00:57:02 came in the studio, got to bless me with some Jen time.

00:57:05 And I'm gonna come back to New York.

00:57:07 We're gonna do the Acai tour.

00:57:08 - Yes.

00:57:09 - Hang out with Chris.

00:57:10 - Yes.

00:57:10 - Do a VIP day.

00:57:11 - Yes.

00:57:12 - Because I still need to learn from you.

00:57:13 I'm trying to grow.

00:57:14 I mean, you are such an amazing example

00:57:17 of all the things that I think I try to talk about and be.

00:57:21 And you are a living, breathing example of that as well.

00:57:23 So I am inspired to be around you.

00:57:25 And I can't wait to spend more time with you and Chris

00:57:27 and be better at being the authentic version of myself.

00:57:30 'Cause it is something I struggle with.

00:57:31 I mean, this personal brand thing, it's scary.

00:57:34 - Thank you, Jeff.

00:57:35 Well, I told you off camera when I came in here

00:57:37 how unbelievably impressed I am with you.

00:57:40 There's a lot of people that come to me

00:57:41 and they say, "I'm gonna do it.

00:57:42 "I'm gonna build the personal brand.

00:57:43 "I'm gonna do it.

00:57:44 "I'm gonna start a podcast.

00:57:45 "I'm gonna write a book.

00:57:45 "I'm gonna do all these things."

00:57:46 I'm like, "Okay, great.

00:57:47 "Go do it."

00:57:48 You said that to me and it was not long

00:57:50 until this beautiful studio was built.

00:57:52 You had a podcast up.

00:57:54 You're sending me your book, like,

00:57:56 "Order my book.

00:57:57 "Here it is.

00:57:58 "It's coming out today."

00:57:59 Everything happened.

00:58:00 You took action.

00:58:01 You did it.

00:58:02 And you've grown faster.

00:58:04 You're also the real deal.

00:58:06 This is important.

00:58:08 You really are who you say you are.

00:58:10 You really have done the work.

00:58:11 You've really built an unbelievably successful empire

00:58:14 that's gonna keep on growing and growing.

00:58:16 So you're the real deal.

00:58:18 So that's obviously why your personal brand's

00:58:20 gonna take off really, really fast.

00:58:22 'Cause you're just getting on talking about

00:58:23 what you know from your experience.

00:58:25 It couldn't be,

00:58:26 and that's what I told you on the phone.

00:58:27 I was like, "You couldn't be the more perfect person

00:58:29 "to show people how this is done 'cause you did it."

00:58:32 - Well, thank you.

00:58:33 - And you're doing it again with this.

00:58:34 I'm so proud of you.

00:58:36 - It means the world coming from you.

00:58:37 - Thank you.

00:58:38 - Because when we met, I've been a fan since that day.

00:58:41 I love you, I love Chris.

00:58:42 I love seeing what you guys are doing.

00:58:43 I'm excited for the future you.

00:58:45 And before I let you go,

00:58:47 what is the next thing in Jen's life?

00:58:49 The thing that maybe you haven't told anybody

00:58:51 or maybe if you don't want to, you don't have to,

00:58:53 but give us something.

00:58:54 What is one thing that maybe you're brainstorming right now

00:58:57 that you're going through your resistance,

00:59:00 your dedication to, what did you call it?

00:59:02 - Oh, my resistance.

00:59:04 I don't know what I,

00:59:05 that was not something that I've ever said

00:59:06 before in my life, by the way.

00:59:07 That was like, I know,

00:59:09 that came out on this podcast for the first time.

00:59:11 So I need to rewatch that and see how I said that

00:59:12 'cause it was really good.

00:59:13 - It was really good.

00:59:14 - I resist.

00:59:15 I forget what I said in the sentence,

00:59:16 but I'm going to watch this back.

00:59:18 But yeah, no, what I initially was resisting.

00:59:21 Well, the most exciting thing that's happening is this book

00:59:24 and the marketing of this book

00:59:25 and then getting it out there and making it seen

00:59:27 and having it be seen,

00:59:27 which is so scary on so many levels

00:59:29 because I've never written my own book

00:59:31 and launched my own book before.

00:59:32 It's a lot of asking for help.

00:59:33 As you know, it's a lot of putting yourself out there

00:59:36 in ways I've never done before.

00:59:37 So that's the biggest project right now.

00:59:40 But my big overall goal, my biggest project of life

00:59:43 is that I want to become

00:59:45 the greatest motivational speaker of all time.

00:59:47 - I love that.

00:59:48 - And it's very scary to say that.

00:59:50 And I consistently say it out loud

00:59:53 because it's a discomfort rep,

00:59:54 'cause it's scary to say that

00:59:55 because there's people out there like,

00:59:56 who is she to say that?

00:59:58 You know, like, oh, okay, that's a brave thing to say.

01:00:02 And also if I don't do it,

01:00:04 I went around saying to people that I wanted to do it

01:00:06 and then I failed, okay.

01:00:07 But I need to say it, I need the universe to hear it,

01:00:09 I need whoever out there

01:00:11 can give me opportunities can hear it.

01:00:12 I need to say it out loud.

01:00:13 We need to say what we want out loud.

01:00:14 Life's too short not to.

01:00:16 So that's my goal.

01:00:17 - As someone who has heard you speak,

01:00:20 you are well on your way.

01:00:21 If you're not already there, you are in the elite few.

01:00:23 I mean, you are clearly already, as we talked about,

01:00:25 I mean, you've been named a top 50 speaker in America.

01:00:28 Anyone who's listening who does have a stage,

01:00:29 if you haven't had Jen Gottlieb on it,

01:00:32 you need to get her on it immediately.

01:00:34 It will move your audience.

01:00:36 She will put butts in the seats.

01:00:38 She will command the attention of the entire room.

01:00:41 You are an inspiration already.

01:00:42 You are a motivational speaker.

01:00:44 You're a motivation.

01:00:45 And the speaking part is just the being seen part.

01:00:48 And so if you don't know Jen already,

01:00:50 today you got the opportunity.

01:00:51 You will follow her, go watch her get ready with her makeup

01:00:54 and be inspired on a daily basis.

01:00:56 Buy her book.

01:00:57 I am getting a preview because--

01:00:59 - Yes, you are.

01:01:01 - I don't know why, but I'm so grateful that I do.

01:01:03 But I did buy it.

01:01:04 It's coming in October.

01:01:05 And that was a cool move because I am,

01:01:09 like you have me so excited for a book.

01:01:11 And every time I open Amazon, I see it's coming in October.

01:01:13 I'm like, it's only May.

01:01:15 - I know, I know.

01:01:16 When you traditionally publish,

01:01:18 they tell you to announce it way before

01:01:20 'cause we have all that time now to like really amp up

01:01:22 for it, but you have something cool to look forward to.

01:01:25 - Future bestseller and the world's

01:01:27 best motivational speaker.

01:01:29 - Yeah.

01:01:29 - You are.

01:01:31 - Thank you, friend.

01:01:31 - Thank you for coming on.

01:01:32 - Thank you for having me.

01:01:35 - Thank you so much for listening.

01:01:37 If you're looking to level up your relationship capital game

01:01:39 then take a minute and text the word Jeff to 33777

01:01:44 for a free copy of my Network to Millions playbook.

01:01:47 The link will also be provided in the show notes below.

01:01:50 See you guys next time.

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