10 Signs Someone's Always Playing the Victim

Mental Health TV

Do you know someone who has a victim mindset that everyone is out against them and everything is completely out of their control? Do you find yourself drained while they stay in a perpetual state of discontentment? To better explore what a victim mindset is, in this video, we’ll discuss some of the signs someone is always playing the victim.  Disclaimer: It is important to use your best judgment if someone is truly in a victim mindset. There are people who have hardships that are valid, even if hard to understand. This article is not to discredit or devalue the experience of others, but rather to shed light on an issue that may be used to manipulate and harm other people.  source: psych2go

Transcript

00:00 (upbeat music)

00:02 Hey, Psych2Goers, welcome back to another video.

00:08 To start off, we would like to thank you all

00:10 for the support that you've given us.

00:12 Psych2Go's mission is to make psychology

00:14 and mental health more accessible to everyone,

00:16 and you definitely help us do that.

00:18 Now, back to the video.

00:20 Is there someone in your life who asks for your help a lot,

00:24 but then never takes your advice?

00:26 Do they always talk about how bad their situation is,

00:29 but don't do anything to help change it?

00:32 This person may have a victim-based mindset,

00:35 where they think that everyone is out to get them

00:37 and that everything is out of their control.

00:39 As a result, you may feel drained

00:42 to constantly witness their perpetual state

00:44 of discontentment.

00:45 So here are 10 signs

00:47 that someone is always playing the victim.

00:50 Before we begin, we would like to mention

00:52 that this video is for educational purposes only.

00:55 It's not intended to diagnose.

00:57 Please talk with a counselor, life coach,

00:59 or other professional if you're struggling.

01:01 It's also important to note

01:03 that there are people who have hardships that are valid,

01:06 even if it may be hard to understand.

01:08 This video is not to discredit

01:09 or devalue the experiences of others,

01:12 but to shed light on an issue.

01:14 Now let's begin.

01:15 Number one, they try to manipulate you.

01:18 Does it seem like there's always something bad happening

01:21 to this person?

01:22 While it may seem like someone

01:23 is just going through a hard time,

01:25 they may be pulling the victim card to manipulate you.

01:29 Perhaps they always try to find ways

01:31 to get you to feel sorry for them,

01:32 or they blame you for things out of their control.

01:35 They may be trying to get you to believe

01:37 that they are the victim,

01:39 to get you to abandon your own needs to support theirs.

01:42 Number two, they place blame elsewhere.

01:46 Have they ever taken any responsibility for their feelings

01:49 or made efforts to improve their situation?

01:52 People with a victim mentality

01:54 tend to blame their shortcomings on external factors.

01:57 Perhaps they feel that a bad relationship from their past

02:00 is the cause of their unhappiness.

02:02 They may use this as a reason to explain

02:04 why they are stuck at where they are in life.

02:07 Number three, they hold onto the past.

02:10 Do they hold grudges on other people

02:12 and refuse to forgive or forget their wrongdoings?

02:16 People playing the victim tend to hold onto past events,

02:19 no matter how big or small the experience was.

02:22 They're unable to let anything go

02:24 and may use it as an obstacle to stay where they are.

02:28 For instance, they may talk excessively about an ex-partner

02:32 long after the relationship has ended,

02:34 or ruminate about a past failure

02:36 to the point that it interferes with them moving forward.

02:39 Number four, they make excuses.

02:43 Are they able to make an excuse for any situation,

02:47 no matter what advice you give?

02:48 They may deflect it by making some excuse.

02:51 Maybe they think they aren't smart enough

02:53 to pursue a certain hobby,

02:54 or that learning a new skill takes too much time,

02:57 energy, and money to learn.

02:59 So they avoid it completely.

03:01 This habit combined with a tendency to hold onto the past

03:04 and placing blame elsewhere

03:06 can prevent them from moving forward in their life.

03:09 Number five, they're unhappy about their situation.

03:13 Are they extremely dissatisfied with the way things are,

03:16 yet do nothing to change it?

03:19 People with a victim mentality often have an idea

03:21 of the life they want to be living,

03:23 but find themselves unable to work towards the goal.

03:26 Sometimes they may even use this dissatisfaction

03:29 of their current life to make you take pity on them,

03:32 so you'll help them.

03:33 Apart from hurting their own wellbeing,

03:35 this can be especially damaging to their relationships.

03:38 Number six, they don't trust you.

03:41 Have they become needy and clingy to those around them?

03:44 They may do so to get you to support them and their needs,

03:47 so that they don't need to actually work

03:49 to improve their situation.

03:51 No advice may ever seem to suffice

03:53 and everything tends to stay at a standstill.

03:56 As a result, you may end up feeling stuck along with them

03:58 since you don't see them getting better.

04:01 Number seven, they're draining to be around.

04:05 Do you feel like you're always supporting this other person,

04:08 but nothing ever gets better or changes?

04:11 It can be tiresome

04:12 when someone is in a constant state of negativity

04:14 and is hungry for compassion.

04:16 It's possible to feel

04:18 that you're getting absorbed into their world.

04:20 They may become so dependent on you and others

04:23 to the point that excessive neediness

04:24 takes a toll on your energy level.

04:27 Number eight, they're passive.

04:30 Do they not take action

04:31 even when it's absolutely necessary?

04:34 They may let people take advantage of them

04:36 in a work setting, such as by refusing to speak up,

04:39 as they don't know how to stand up for themselves.

04:42 They may internalize these events and lash out at others.

04:45 These encounters may cause them to feel weak and powerless.

04:49 Number nine, they're insecure and unstable.

04:53 Do they have low self-confidence or self-esteem?

04:57 This may come from constantly comparing themselves

04:59 to others and believing that there is no way

05:01 to change themselves.

05:03 They may even sabotage themselves and their relationships

05:06 as assurance that nothing will improve.

05:09 It may be a sign when they always seem to be

05:11 in some sort of distress

05:13 and when the relationships never seem to last long.

05:16 And number 10, they attract drama.

05:19 Do they attract drama wherever they go?

05:21 Is it usually one-sided?

05:23 No matter what, it seems like there's always someone

05:26 out there mistreating them.

05:27 They may quarrel with others

05:29 over seemingly small things all the time

05:31 and say that the other person was completely in the wrong.

05:34 This refusal to accept any responsibility

05:36 of any wrongdoing, even in the face of evidence,

05:39 may be a sign that they're purposefully

05:41 trying to play the victim.

05:42 Do you relate to any of the signs mentioned here?

05:46 I have to admit, I do.

05:48 Tell us about it in the comments below.

05:50 If you found this video helpful,

05:51 please like and share it with others

05:53 who may find it helpful too.

05:54 Hit the subscribe button and notification bell icon

05:57 for more Psych2Go videos.

05:59 All the references used are added

06:00 in the description box below.

06:02 Thanks for watching and we'll see you in the next video.

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