Hoshyarian | Haroon Rafiq | Comedy Show | 4th November 2023
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00:00 "Wisdom. Wisdom."
00:02 Hello, viewers. I am Haroon Rafiq and you are watching 'Hoshiyaariyaan'.
00:06 Friends, there is a question that what is life?
00:08 Philosophers have spent centuries in search of this.
00:11 But remember one thing that at least life is not a chair.
00:15 It is not a chair.
00:17 It is a track. It is a journey.
00:19 It is a road. It is a pathway. It is a path.
00:22 It is a path.
00:24 Many people spend their lives in such a way that
00:27 they want to make the chair they sit on beautiful,
00:31 beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.
00:35 They think this is their goal.
00:37 Whereas if you sit, people will run away from you.
00:41 Life is a journey.
00:43 It is a journey. It is a race.
00:45 When a lion wakes up in the morning in the jungle,
00:47 it knows that today it has to run faster than the deer that runs the slowest.
00:53 So that it can eat something.
00:54 And when a deer wakes up, it knows that
00:57 today it has to run faster than the lion that runs the fastest.
01:00 So that it can stay alive.
01:02 If a deer understands that because a lion doesn't eat,
01:06 a lion won't eat me,
01:07 then it is like you understand that you will stop
01:11 and people won't run ahead of you.
01:13 So it is better to get up, run, run, hustle harder,
01:18 make your life and always remember
01:20 that you have to keep running, not stop.
01:22 Come, let's start today's show with this message.
01:25 Today we will take you to a middle class house
01:29 and see what is happening there.
01:30 Gullu, my dear, why is my son upset?
01:35 Why are you upset?
01:36 Why don't you know why my son is upset?
01:41 Is this the age to say 'babu sona'?
01:46 Aunt, she is angry.
01:48 This is a day to be angry.
01:49 Why? What happened?
01:51 My dear, listen.
01:54 He is hitting on his mother.
01:57 Listen.
01:59 Okay, tell me why are you upset with him?
02:02 Mr. Haroon, I was waiting for such a day.
02:04 Okay.
02:05 That a day will come when I will ask for his hand in marriage.
02:08 Okay, so you are someone's aunt.
02:10 Listen.
02:14 No, no, no.
02:15 No, no, no.
02:19 Yes, yes, yes.
02:20 What is this rhythm?
02:23 Yes.
02:24 What happened? What is the occasion of happiness today?
02:25 What is this man's problem?
02:27 Today no one has given me a gift that I feel comfortable.
02:31 Tell me what you want.
02:33 You didn't make any request in the last three years.
02:35 You are sitting at home today.
02:36 What will you give me?
02:38 Order, my dear, my life.
02:40 My sweet, sweet, whatever you say.
02:43 I feel like today is a special day
02:45 because I am so helpless.
02:46 What is the occasion today?
02:47 Okay, finish your problem quickly.
02:49 I can't hear this anymore.
02:50 'Gulle Mane Pappe'.
02:52 Okay, tell him 'Gulle Mane Pappe'.
02:54 Hello, hello. - Yes.
02:55 What do you know? Why are you saying 'Gulle Mane Pappe'?
02:58 I thought his name was there.
02:59 You have come to our house without a boat.
03:03 Yes. - Now you are telling our women 'Gulle Mane Pappe'.
03:07 What is the occasion today? What is special today?
03:09 Isn't it our Sallu?
03:10 Yes, yes, your son.
03:11 Yes, it is Sallu's turn.
03:13 He is my in-laws.
03:14 Okay, in what connection?
03:15 We are fixing a date here. We are getting Sallu married.
03:17 Okay, okay.
03:18 Oh, congratulations.
03:20 Then order a three meal cake.
03:21 I was saying.. What did you say?
03:23 Three meal cake.
03:25 Why? - We will have a sweet.
03:26 We will have a sweet.
03:28 No, I won't do it.
03:29 Why? - I feel like..
03:31 You sit here. I will eat a lot of things.
03:34 The first episode of this drama is about Sallu's marriage.
03:36 But it didn't happen till now.
03:38 If you let it happen, it will happen.
03:40 I am going to marry Sallu.
03:41 Why?
03:42 Slowly, Sallu will get married.
03:45 You are a fool.
03:47 I have been cooking all my life.
03:51 Will I get a happy day if you give me a big gift?
03:55 Tell me what you want.
03:56 You think which gift you can give me.
03:59 What do you have?
04:03 She doesn't know how big a gift I am going to give her.
04:05 Really?
04:06 What?
04:07 I have already decided to come to this house with her.
04:12 Oh, wow!
04:15 When it is time for house repairs, I will gift her.
04:18 Tell me something.
04:20 You have built this house with your hard earned money.
04:22 This house was built by seven generations.
04:26 Yes.
04:26 They worked hard and built this house.
04:30 I think every generation has been earning for a few hours.
04:33 It is not your fault.
04:36 You are born with a spoon of gold.
04:39 Yes.
04:39 Now you are talking.. - I am talking to you.
04:42 Mr. Haroon, it is not in the law that you cannot gift
04:46 what you have inherited.
04:48 If you have inherited and this house is named after her
04:52 after the partition, she can gift it to anyone she wants.
04:56 When I was earning, the situation was better.
04:59 Yes.
05:00 I have given my share to my brothers and sisters.
05:02 Yes.
05:03 They have given their statements in my favour.
05:06 What have you done now?
05:07 I have called a lawyer.
05:09 Lawyer is not someone who can be reached.
05:11 I see.
05:12 I have studied law.
05:14 Yes.
05:14 His name is..
05:15 I will go to Sadghat.
05:18 You are a big man.
05:20 These girls are small.
05:22 Wealth is not in our hands.
05:25 What can I do with wealth
05:27 if I don't have a lawyer?
05:29 Wealth..
05:31 May God bless you with good health.
05:33 So that you don't become a beggar.
05:35 Greetings, Mr. Pamraj.
05:38 Greetings. The lawyer is here.
05:40 Wow.
05:41 How are you?
05:42 I am fine.
05:44 I have prepared the document for the gift deed.
05:46 That's good.
05:47 Because I have already prayed a lot.
05:51 Sit.
05:52 I have prepared the document for the gift deed.
05:56 But as a lawyer, I am telling you that
05:59 if this house is signed, it cannot be returned.
06:02 May God bless you.
06:04 I will not take it back.
06:06 I have already decided.
06:07 Where will you give it?
06:10 You have started doing this?
06:12 What happened, Mr. Lawyer?
06:13 Sir, it will be a challenge.
06:14 Why will it be a challenge in the court?
06:16 Sir, the reason is that out of love and affection
06:18 the gift is given.
06:19 Yes, the gift is always out of love and affection.
06:21 If this is a cross-examination, then it is wrong.
06:24 Lawyer, you are crazy.
06:26 You don't know how much I have earned.
06:28 That's it.
06:29 How will I challenge the court or the government?
06:33 She is like an obsolete section.
06:35 Mr. Pamraj.
06:38 Mr. Pamraj.
06:39 Yes.
06:40 Do it.
06:41 In the name of God.
06:42 I will help you.
06:43 He is so happy.
06:47 Where do I have to do it?
06:48 Here.
06:49 Here? - Yes.
06:50 But Mr. Pamraj is also sincere with his wife.
06:53 Don't say that.
06:54 Sir, we see this case in the court every day.
06:56 People are sincere and give gifts.
06:58 Then the case is going on.
07:00 You are right that the gift deed is often a challenge.
07:03 Why?
07:03 The reason is that there is no consideration in it.
07:06 In the world, any agreement
07:08 any agreement, there should be a few things.
07:11 Otherwise, it can be a challenge.
07:13 And the contract can't be made.
07:15 There should be an offer.
07:17 There should be acceptance of the offer.
07:18 And there should be consideration from both sides.
07:20 So, in the gift, there is no such thing.
07:23 So, it often becomes a challenge.
07:25 That it was not out of love and affection.
07:27 It was under coercion.
07:29 He was an elder.
07:30 He was elder.
07:31 So, he pressurized them.
07:33 So, he got his name done.
07:34 This happens.
07:35 And this can be a clear challenge.
07:37 It's not coercion but it's misrepresentation.
07:39 It's okay. It's part of life.
07:44 Let's make this couple.
07:46 This couple is good.
07:48 You are fighting a case.
07:50 Yes.
07:51 Give Allah a better case.
07:52 Take your husband's court in your first opportunity.
07:56 Because you have a lot of evidences.
07:58 You have a lot of evidence.
08:00 I was thinking that I had lost my lawyer's case.
08:05 So, I have registered you.
08:07 Yes, register me.
08:08 I am returning the documents today.
08:10 Allah Hafiz.
08:11 Greetings.
08:12 Greetings.
08:13 How long will you not give me the house?
08:15 You still don't trust me.
08:18 Yes.
08:19 Mr. Haroon has read the last chapter.
08:21 When you signed it, it means you gave it to me.
08:25 Yes. He gave it to you.
08:27 Now, the house is mine.
08:28 It's yours.
08:29 Get up. Come here.
08:30 Come here.
08:33 Bring it.
08:35 Hey.
08:36 Don't you know how to talk to your boss?
08:38 How long will you keep staring at me?
08:41 Now, you have signed it.
08:44 Has the lawyer reached?
08:45 Yes.
08:46 Bring it.
08:47 Do you want to go home or not?
08:48 Aunt, you looked like a very innocent woman.
08:51 I am not going to stop.
08:52 I have waited for 30 years for this day.
08:55 When I get a house, I will tell them what my form is.
08:59 Get up.
09:00 Go.
09:01 Go.
09:02 Get up quickly.
09:07 You have spent 30 years with this woman.
09:14 Didn't you know about her reality?
09:16 Oh, God.
09:18 Oh, God.
09:20 This sweet thorn.. - Yes.
09:22 ..if it doesn't get cured, it will come from your mouth.
09:25 My house. My house.
09:27 Oh, God.
09:29 She was so poisoned.
09:31 I am also like her.
09:33 I don't even spit in this house.
09:35 Here.
09:36 What happened?
09:37 You are acting like a speed breaker.
09:39 Yes, tell me.
09:40 What change are you seeing today?
09:41 You are sitting like a stove.
09:44 Why are you sitting here?
09:46 My boss is sitting here.
09:48 It's okay. You also sit with your mother.
09:50 It's been 70 years.
09:52 You are still the same.
09:53 You have got wrinkles on your face.
09:54 Ask him what happened to him.
09:58 What happened?
09:59 He is my brother. He is my younger brother.
10:01 He drove a cylinder alone.
10:03 What happened?
10:04 Did you have a fight with your father?
10:06 Nothing happened.
10:08 Look, I have come to talk to you.
10:09 All are fathers.
10:10 Okay. You have come to talk about this too.
10:12 She has spoken. I have written it on her shoe.
10:14 What is the matter?
10:15 Wait, I will see what she has written.
10:17 Look, a man gives his life to his daughters.
10:20 Yes, of course.
10:21 She has a right over this house.
10:23 Yes, of course. It is her father's property.
10:25 She says that she will tell her father..
10:26 ..to give her share of the property.
10:28 When did I say that?
10:29 When I asked you for tea at night, what did you do?
10:32 You did this.
10:33 No, I didn't.
10:34 I have understood this. But, brother-in-law..
10:36 You will write on your shoe as much as you have understood.
10:39 She says that she will take her share.
10:42 I said, okay. - Okay.
10:44 Give it to her.
10:45 She is saying that she will not even touch your property.
10:48 That's it.
10:49 Today, I will not touch it.
10:51 Father, we are coming to fix Salu's date.
10:53 We feel bad. That's why we have come here.
10:54 Come on, let's go.
10:55 Look, she has spoken.
10:56 You are coming to see Salu too.
10:57 Are you mad?
10:59 Have you asked for God's mercy?
11:00 You are saying that I am a wretched man.
11:01 We are coming to fix his date.
11:03 I am not coming now.
11:04 I will slap you.
11:05 Do you know what has happened?
11:06 What?
11:07 First of all, your wife's share is not made..
11:10 ..until this man is alive.
11:11 He has told someone that he will kill him.
11:13 What has happened?
11:15 The thing is that he has made your mother..
11:17 ..to write everything.
11:18 What?
11:19 Mother has taken her place and he has made her sit in his place.
11:22 Mother!
11:23 Did you cook the pot?
11:24 You should have made her wash the pot.
11:26 Now, the pot is on fire.
11:28 You don't even come to stay at home.
11:29 What?
11:30 Mother-in-law.
11:32 "I am a mother-in-law's uncle."
11:36 "I am a P.K."
11:38 Mother-in-law, how are you?
11:40 I am fine, son.
11:40 You look handsome.
11:42 You don't look old at all.
11:43 Which P.P. has got you married?
11:45 Salu, Jishan, come out.
11:48 Yes.
11:49 Mother, how are you?
11:50 What, mother?
11:51 Come out together.
11:53 Otherwise, your son-in-law will die.
11:57 Yes, mother. - Listen, Jishan.
11:59 Save your wife's taint.
12:00 Come here.
12:01 Your mother will stay here from today.
12:03 Mother, the house is yours. What are you saying?
12:05 No, son. She is saying what she has.
12:07 No.
12:08 I don't understand how the world has changed.
12:11 What did you do?
12:12 You gave me a hand. What are you doing?
12:14 Today, guests are coming to see me.
12:16 And you are sitting here.
12:17 Why do you want to see?
12:19 Who are you to model?
12:21 Okay, if you keep the old man for two or three days..
12:24 Yes.
12:25 ..it will get spoiled if you keep him for long.
12:27 I am telling you.
12:28 I will shut up and beat you up.
12:32 Mother, look at him.
12:34 One look is enough.
12:38 Mother, my name is written on the will.
12:41 My mother is my sister.
12:43 My brother-in-law is with me.
12:44 Okay.
12:46 Tomorrow, I am inviting you.
12:47 I will give you a name.
12:49 And I will give you a good beating.
12:50 Mother, I will stay here at your feet.
12:53 Where do you find mother's love?
12:55 I have seen her all my life.
12:57 She has tortured me.
12:59 Tell me. What did she torture you?
13:00 She told me to do household chores.
13:03 What is making tea?
13:04 This is not torture.
13:05 Making tea.
13:07 This is not torture.
13:07 What is making tea?
13:08 This is not torture.
13:10 She drank tea. This is not torture.
13:12 I didn't tell you what torture is.
13:14 What is that?
13:14 She made tea and brought it.
13:16 Yes.
13:17 She drank it and said, "Bring some more sweets."
13:19 Oh, God.
13:20 Oh.
13:22 I told my mother to wear my dress.
13:24 Oh, God.
13:25 She broke her dress.
13:26 And she broke her head.
13:27 Father, he told her to dye his hair.
13:31 This is not torture.
13:32 This is making tea.
13:32 This is making tea.
13:34 This is not torture.
13:36 We didn't tell you.
13:37 We don't tell you outside.
13:39 What?
13:39 He gave her a scissor and said, "Cut my nose hair."
13:42 Oh, God. This is really torture.
13:43 I told her, "Go inside and cut it."
13:46 Who did you tell to go inside?
13:48 Who should I tell?
13:49 Her hand didn't reach her nose.
13:50 Oh, I..
13:52 Her hand must have reached her nose.
13:53 Her fingers don't reach the scissors.
13:55 This is why I am good at talking.
13:58 Your mother-in-law was so cruel
14:01 that she used to get her collar button removed.
14:04 She is nothing.
14:05 Yes.
14:06 She wakes up in the morning and tells my mother
14:07 where are my slippers.
14:08 Tell me.
14:09 Is there anyone who can say this to a woman?
14:11 No.
14:12 There is no woman.
14:13 It's her wife.
14:14 Why should I say this to my wife?
14:15 Why?
14:16 You have been spitting love on our faces all your life.
14:20 I told you to cut your nose hair.
14:22 Now you are asking where are my slippers.
14:23 If you had kept your slippers, I would have left.
14:26 He used to say, "Make tea for me."
14:29 "But first have a sip so that my tea tastes sweet."
14:32 This is about love.
14:33 No, cruel man.
14:34 No.
14:35 You had come to the farm, right?
14:37 Yes.
14:39 What are you doing?
14:40 I am talking to your wife on the phone.
14:42 I told her, "Prabha, open the door.
14:45 She is inside."
14:46 Forget the fight.
14:47 I have come to fix the date.
14:48 - Yes. - Okay.
14:49 Let's end it now.
14:50 - Come. - Come.
14:50 - Come. - Get up.
14:51 - Get up. - Come.
14:52 - Prabha has brought you inside. - Come.
14:53 - Give me a hand. - Oil is boiling.
14:53 Oil.
14:55 - Your wife. - She was very happy a while ago.
14:56 Come, brother. Come inside.
14:58 He has come.
14:58 Greetings.
14:59 Greetings.
15:01 - How are you? - In the name of God.
15:02 I am cooking food for you.
15:06 - Come. - Come.
15:09 - Sit. - Sit.
15:10 I am not angry.
15:12 - I am just.. - It's okay.
15:13 It's okay.
15:14 He has got a shifu's shalwar.
15:16 There is no problem.
15:17 He is standing with me.
15:18 I asked him if he had come from there.
15:20 Who are these two?
15:21 They are my brothers-in-law.
15:24 - So, they are their future brothers-in-law. - Yes.
15:26 What date do you want to fix?
15:28 The date will be fixed on the day I tell you.
15:31 Yes. This is a little..
15:33 Do you fix the date in such a rude manner?
15:35 It's not rude.
15:37 It's just an accent.
15:38 - It's just an accent. - It's rude.
15:40 God has punished me.
15:42 How many men will you bring?
15:44 - I will fix the date. - Yes.
15:45 Men will be there.
15:47 As per my wish.
15:48 As per my wish, no one will go.
15:50 We are from a girl's family.
15:53 - We always shave our heads. - Yes.
15:56 We will do whatever you want.
15:58 It's better if we shave our heads.
16:00 The day you get married..
16:05 Yes.
16:05 ..you will shave your head.
16:07 We will get henna done.
16:10 It's not a big deal.
16:12 Yes.
16:12 Tell me how many men will be there?
16:15 You can bring 500 men.
16:17 - Wow. - Yes.
16:18 It's not a big deal.
16:19 We have arranged for the pyjamas.
16:20 You know, there is a difference between your community and ours.
16:27 What?
16:28 We don't have a tradition of marriage.
16:31 I will sit on the table.
16:33 We will get married.
16:35 Amrai's son has done a good thing.
16:37 He will get married.
16:39 But we don't have a tradition of eating food.
16:42 You said that you will get married.
16:44 Yes.
16:45 Can't you say that?
16:47 We will eat food.
16:49 We will eat food all our life.
16:51 Yes.
16:51 We should get married.
16:53 It's just that you don't have a wife.
16:56 Yes.
16:56 You should think of it as a response to my age.
16:59 Enough.
17:00 You can't give me a response.
17:02 You will get married at home.
17:04 She is very happy.
17:05 Listen to me.
17:08 Yes.
17:08 Go home and get ready.
17:10 What will you do?
17:11 There is no tradition.
17:13 We have brought black rice.
17:15 We will do as mother says.
17:17 But we will refuse to get married.
17:21 Why will you refuse to get married?
17:23 What?
17:23 I will do what I want.
17:25 Okay.
17:26 Okay.
17:26 Go.
17:27 Don't make preparations.
17:29 Okay.
17:29 You are not getting married.
17:30 Congratulations.
17:32 You have won.
17:33 Greetings, uncle.
17:35 Come.
17:36 Greetings.
17:37 The legal procedure is over.
17:39 We have to work.
17:40 Humans are a statue of mistakes.
17:42 And anyway, it is not good to say bad things.
17:46 What?
17:47 If someone makes a mistake, we should forgive them.
17:50 Okay.
17:51 And we should see how we handle the situation.
17:53 Yes.
17:54 I will tell you how to handle the situation.
17:55 What?
17:56 It is my mistake.
17:57 I accept it.
17:58 I forgot to put the thumb impression.
18:00 Oh.
18:00 I am here for that.
18:02 I will do it now.
18:03 I will go again.
18:04 The file will be transferred.
18:05 So this means that this file is still not named.
18:10 No.
18:12 No.
18:12 Brother, sit.
18:23 We told you to drink.
18:25 Brother.
18:25 Move.
18:26 Move.
18:27 Brother.
18:28 Don't spoil your food.
18:30 I will make tea.
18:31 Wait a minute.
18:32 Uncle, wait.
18:33 They will break the registry.
18:35 Yes.
18:35 Don't you know the respect of a husband?
18:37 Yes.
18:38 Don't you know that this is how it is?
18:39 You are drinking all day.
18:41 Believe me.
18:42 I don't know how many people have gathered here.
18:44 They have made a family.
18:45 Lawyer, I am not able to drink even a little.
18:49 Viewers, leave the egg.
18:54 We will have fun after the break.
18:56 The phone rang.
18:56 The car's tyre broke.
18:58 And he is going to the deserted road.
19:00 Now..
19:00 He met a witch on the way.
19:02 He said, 'I am learning to ride a bike.'
19:04 Then what happened?
19:05 The witch came in front of him.
19:07 He fell in love with the witch.
19:08 He fell in love with the witch.
19:09 He left the bike in the jungle.
19:11 And took her to the parlour.
19:12 Welcome back, viewers.
19:18 Yes, Irza.
19:19 Why did you address me with such respect?
19:23 Yes, Irza.
19:24 You addressed me with respect.
19:25 I am sitting here.
19:27 You will address me with respect.
19:29 This is a family.
19:29 Irza, you can say anything you want.
19:32 Take off your clothes.
19:34 This is a family of smart people.
19:36 Which relative of yours are you in this family?
19:39 He is my brother-in-law.
19:40 Okay.
19:41 He is my uncle.
19:43 Mr. Haroon, he will keep talking like this.
19:45 Let's listen to the audience.
19:47 He always listens to us.
19:48 Let's listen to him.
19:49 Let's listen to him.
19:50 You tell us.
19:51 Greetings.
19:52 Greetings.
19:53 My name is Usman Ahmed.
19:55 Yes, Usman.
19:55 And I want to do poetry.
19:57 Yes, dear. Do it.
19:58 If I don't call him, he forgets my name.
20:00 Okay.
20:01 What happens if you do that?
20:02 What did you say? Say it again.
20:05 What did you say?
20:06 Oh, my dear nephew.
20:07 If I don't call him, he forgets my name.
20:12 Okay.
20:12 He knows how to love but forgets to do it.
20:15 Yes.
20:15 Tell him to look at me with a smile.
20:18 This heart is crazy. It forgets to beat.
20:20 Wow.
20:21 Usman, so much of respect and so much of noise on your poetry.
20:27 Wow.
20:28 Wow.
20:28 Your poetry is so well-received.
20:30 Right.
20:31 Very good.
20:31 Very good.
20:32 Next.
20:32 Greetings.
20:33 Greetings.
20:34 My name is Hammad. I have to come in the morning.
20:36 Wow. Very beautiful name.
20:37 I will do singing.
20:38 What will you do?
20:39 Singing.
20:39 Do it.
20:40 One day on the street..
20:42 One minute, dear.
20:43 If you move your collar a little..
20:45 You are doing it right.
20:46 Yes.
20:46 Now, dear.
20:47 Now tell me which day.
20:49 Now sing.
20:51 One minute. One minute.
20:52 Yes.
20:53 Now leave the mic.
20:53 Don't do it.
20:57 Come on, dear.
20:57 What happened, dear?
20:58 One day on the street..
21:02 One day I will write my name on your palm..
21:13 ..then you will leave your ego and bow down..
21:20 ..and keep your eyes on my shoulders.
21:24 Life, tell me something.
21:28 Life, tell me something.
21:33 Wow.
21:34 Wow.
21:36 Sir, I want to give a message to Amanat.
21:40 Go ahead.
21:40 Don't be scared of these innocent kids, Amanat.
21:43 Wow.
21:44 They sing to make you look worse.
21:46 I like this song a lot.
21:50 When I drive on the highway in the valleys..
21:52 Yes.
21:52 ..I sing this song.
21:53 You will like it even after listening to it.
21:55 No. I feel like reversing the car.
21:57 You should sell it. Leave it somewhere.
21:59 You sang very well.
22:01 Very nice.
22:02 Very nice.
22:03 Very good.
22:03 Very good.
22:04 This kid sang a song once.
22:07 Okay.
22:07 His father took him to the doctor.
22:09 He said, 'Look at the kid. He is singing.'
22:12 Mr. Haroon, I think the audience is very strong today.
22:16 And all the kids..
22:17 They make up stories to bunk the classes.
22:19 They are very story-tellers.
22:21 Let's play a story with them today.
22:23 Okay. Let's do this.
22:24 You have to complete the story.
22:27 I will give you the first line.
22:29 And I will choose who will continue the story.
22:33 The first line is..
22:35 Shaukat was going on his motorcycle.
22:38 The road was very desolate.
22:41 Suddenly..
22:43 You start.
22:46 Suddenly, his car tyre broke.
22:48 He was going on his bike.
22:49 He got a call from home. His car tyre broke.
22:51 Okay.
22:53 He accelerated the bike.
22:54 He accelerated the bike.
22:56 Let him finish the story.
22:58 You please take the mic.
23:00 Let's change the story.
23:01 Let's change it.
23:02 He got a call. His car tyre broke.
23:04 He was going on his bike.
23:06 Now..
23:07 He met a witch on the way.
23:08 He met a witch on the way.
23:11 He said, 'I am learning to ride a bike.'
23:13 Then what happened? The witch appeared.
23:15 He fell in love with the witch.
23:17 He was a very single man.
23:25 He was single since last 3000 years.
23:28 He fell in love with the witch.
23:29 He left the bike in the jungle and took her to the parlour.
23:32 He fell in love with her.
23:36 Yes. - Love at first sight.
23:37 Love at first sight.
23:39 At this age, boys fall in love with witches.
23:42 He fell in love with her and got married.
23:44 He got married.
23:45 He has a son.
23:47 I knew that he was going to ask about his name.
23:50 I will tell you the line.
23:52 Yes.
23:53 Shaukat got another call.
23:54 'Dr. Haroon is at the clinic.'
23:56 Who can give the next turn?
23:59 What did Shaukat do?
24:01 He refused when the witch pulled his hair back.
24:04 He was left with his hair.
24:06 Okay.
24:07 But he did this.
24:09 The witch was so..
24:17 The witch was so..
24:20 He did this.
24:22 He did this.
24:23 The witch does this.
24:25 She doesn't do this.
24:27 She can do this.
24:28 What is this?
24:30 Shaukat can't pull his hair back.
24:33 You never saw a witch.
24:35 No.
24:35 Witches have hair.
24:37 If the hair is in front, he does this.
24:40 What is the situation these days?
24:44 Everything is fine.
24:45 He refused but nothing happened to the tyre.
24:51 But now he hates the witch.
24:54 Yes.
24:55 He has started his enmity again.
24:56 The witch will eat him.
24:57 Yes.
24:58 Why isn't he scared of the witch?
25:00 He will tell us later.
25:01 He will tell us later.
25:02 He ran away from there.
25:03 The witch followed him.
25:05 I think he is married.
25:07 This is how married people live.
25:11 'I will come to you.'
25:13 Yes.
25:14 'How long will the goat's mother be fine?'
25:16 'She will come under the knife.'
25:18 She will come.
25:20 This is the boss.
25:21 Does anyone else have a twist?
25:23 He went home.
25:25 When he reached home, he saw the witch following him.
25:28 The witch said, 'What is the use of me?'
25:30 'There is a witch at home.'
25:32 Oh!
25:34 Wow!
25:35 He was so rude.
25:36 It is a tradition to raise witches.
25:37 Didn't you hear?
25:39 Irza says, 'He was so rude.'
25:41 Why was he trying to go out
25:44 when there was a witch?
25:46 Why?
25:46 Yes.
25:47 If you have a witch in your life
25:49 why do you go out?
25:51 What do you mean?
25:52 You are helpless.
25:53 You are sitting at home.
25:54 Tell us whose twist is the best.
25:57 I think..
25:59 The one with the hair.
26:02 Yes.
26:03 I said no.
26:04 Muzammil, your twist was the best.
26:07 Wow!
26:10 Ladies and gentlemen, we will take a short break.
26:12 We will meet after the break.
26:13 Is it you?
26:15 Yes.
26:16 Listen.
26:17 Give me love.
26:19 Should I take love from you?
26:21 Welcome back, viewers.
26:27 Now, our segment is 'Time Machine'.
26:29 Wow!
26:31 You have no idea
26:32 how many talented, good and old personalities are coming.
26:37 I have understood.
26:38 Who?
26:39 I saw in my dream that our segment has started.
26:42 Okay.
26:43 'Time Machine' which is Saleem's grandmother.
26:45 Wow!
26:48 What?
26:49 I am asking you.
26:50 Is there a name in history?
26:52 There is no name in history.
26:54 Sonia, this is the history.
26:58 You have made history by sleeping in the lane.
27:01 Okay, we will have milk and water today.
27:04 Wow!
27:04 No, sir.
27:05 You are saying the truth.
27:07 Yes.
27:08 Call someone whose name is not in history.
27:11 She was not a person.
27:12 No.
27:13 She used to sleep in a lane.
27:15 She doesn't have a name.
27:16 No.
27:17 I have a question.
27:18 What?
27:19 This time machine is small.
27:21 Okay.
27:21 How did your grandmother run?
27:23 She was hiding like a lizard.
27:26 She was walking like a folding car.
27:29 No, you call the water.
27:32 There is a lot of water outside.
27:34 Ladies and gentlemen.
27:36 But, I will stop you for a second.
27:37 Why?
27:38 You should praise the person whom you call from the time machine.
27:41 You should tell their deeds.
27:42 You should tell their deeds.
27:43 Look, there is a debate here.
27:46 Salim's grandmother used to sleep in the lane.
27:50 Yes.
27:50 Because it was hot inside.
27:52 No, sir. It was the same weather.
27:54 Yes.
27:54 There was no traffic.
27:57 People used to sleep in the lane.
27:58 She used to sleep in the room.
28:00 Yes.
28:01 She used to fly in the lane.
28:02 No, sir.
28:03 No.
28:04 I will call and ask.
28:05 I will call and ask.
28:05 Yes, call.
28:06 Call her.
28:07 Are you ready? Call her.
28:08 Yes.
28:09 He is calling her.
28:11 Is he travelling?
28:13 You should relax.
28:14 He might not even recognise you.
28:16 Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Salim Albela's grandmother.
28:20 Come.
28:25 Greetings.
28:27 Oh!
28:28 Greetings.
28:29 Greetings, grandmother.
28:31 Greetings.
28:33 How are you?
28:34 I am fine.
28:34 Greetings.
28:35 Take off your earring.
28:36 Is it you?
28:37 Yes.
28:38 You look beautiful.
28:39 Give me love.
28:40 What?
28:41 Give me love.
28:43 Salim, is she your grandmother?
28:46 Yes.
28:47 She could have slept outside.
28:49 Look at the one who is feeding Salim Albela.
28:53 Grandmother.
28:54 I am fine.
28:55 Grandmother.
28:56 I don't want to touch her.
28:57 Grandmother, there.
28:58 Help.
29:01 Give me love.
29:03 Was I your grandmother?
29:06 Yes, grandmother.
29:09 You are very lucky.
29:12 Get a chair for grandmother.
29:13 No.
29:14 I don't want a chair.
29:15 Get a bed.
29:16 Yes.
29:17 Get a bed.
29:18 Now I have written, grandmother.
29:19 Bed.
29:20 Desi people are desi.
29:21 Wow.
29:22 Yes.
29:23 Get it.
29:23 I remembered my childhood.
29:27 Did you see?
29:30 Get a bed.
29:31 Grandmother, sit.
29:32 Yes, I am sitting.
29:33 Uncle, I am here.
29:35 Yes.
29:36 The design of the bed has changed.
29:38 Grandmother, there are many designs of the streets.
29:41 Where you were not sleeping, it has become an underpass.
29:45 I was saying, wherever I sit, something will surely happen.
29:49 Grandmother is here.
29:52 Yes.
29:52 You are making fun of me.
29:54 Yes.
29:54 Grandmother, in your time..
29:56 Yes.
29:56 ..people used to sleep on the streets.
29:59 Uncle, you are more lucky than me.
30:01 Why?
30:02 Who will sleep on the streets after marrying you?
30:03 Yes.
30:04 Wow.
30:05 Wow.
30:06 Do you know?
30:07 Your grandsons have been lying to us for a long time.
30:10 Grandmother, you are our grandmother too.
30:11 But they have been lying to you for a long time.
30:14 Yes.
30:15 You are my grandson.
30:16 Your father has died.
30:18 Grandmother, you think the clock is broken.
30:23 You have forgotten.
30:24 I don't remember your father's deeds.
30:27 When I was born, my third father hit me with a chit.
30:30 Why?
30:30 He said, all the people will eat fruit.
30:32 So, stop eating.
30:33 Where were you sleeping?
30:36 I was saying, I used to sleep inside.
30:39 Inside.
30:40 Grandmother, you didn't even sit in the lane.
30:44 No.
30:45 When did I sleep inside?
30:46 But you got four legs.
30:49 It seemed that you used to sleep in the lane.
30:52 This is a big mistake.
30:53 I never slept outside.
30:56 You got hurt too.
30:57 Why are you lying to us for so long?
31:00 Look, she is such a nice woman.
31:02 She is a very decent woman.
31:03 She is decent.
31:05 When did my grandmother start singing?
31:07 I made her sit in my lap.
31:09 Grandmother. - I am giving you my services.
31:11 Grandmother, you must remember
31:12 when Salim was born, he was very small.
31:15 He was small.
31:17 When he was born, he went to the doctor.
31:19 What?
31:19 He said, keep your legs straight.
31:21 He did it here.
31:23 So, no one gave him legs.
31:25 He was saved.
31:25 I gave him legs.
31:27 He didn't even look at me.
31:28 Look at him. He thinks he has MS.
31:31 My youth is not that good.
31:33 Grandmother, I am going out.
31:34 Grandmother, I am young.. - Listen to me.
31:36 Don't listen to me.
31:37 Okay.
31:38 I have told my husband everything.
31:40 He is also..
31:41 That's it.
31:42 He is a great man.
31:45 He is talking nonsense on TV.
31:47 I am not going to hit him.
31:49 Grandmother, we used to sleep outside.
31:53 We used to sleep outside.
31:55 I don't sleep inside when you sleep.
31:57 You keep lying.
32:00 I just want to know
32:01 why we have been lied to so much.
32:03 Grandmother, I don't know.
32:05 Grandmother, when we were in the car
32:07 we were told that we are going to Tambul.
32:11 Get lost.
32:12 I don't know who is taking me around.
32:14 Really?
32:15 I went to my husband after many years.
32:18 He asked me.. - What?
32:19 Where do we stay?
32:21 He brought his wife unconscious.
32:25 He had a bag on his face.
32:27 He had his hands tied behind his wife.
32:30 Grandmother, you had a tight shirt.
32:33 You used to bring ice on your cycle.
32:34 I am dead. I am going to kill you.
32:36 What happened? - I am going to kill you.
32:37 I had two sons.
32:39 I asked my wife after three years.
32:43 I asked her about the animals she had.
32:45 She used to say that she had not seen an animal for 30 years.
32:50 Grandmother, you never bought vegetables or fruits.
32:55 I had vegetables for an hour.
32:58 I had vegetables.
32:59 I had a shafi.
33:00 What shafi?
33:01 I had a shafi whose beard and moustache were like mine.
33:04 She used to bring vegetables for me.
33:06 Really?
33:06 When Kartik brought vegetables, she used to cook it.
33:11 She used to cook it in a pot.
33:14 She used to say, 'Sister, eat it from my mouth.'
33:16 Does a person have to go to the hospital?
33:19 Did you ever step out of the house to go to the hospital?
33:21 I used to run.
33:23 Really? - Yes.
33:25 What did you do when you were sick?
33:26 I was about to die.
33:28 Yes.
33:29 I was sick.
33:30 She tied me to my lap.
33:32 She pulled me to the hospital.
33:34 You had to go to work.
33:35 How did the doctor find out about your illness?
33:38 He used to come and check me.
33:40 I see.
33:41 Once he didn't know how long I was in the hospital.
33:47 In the end, he found out.
33:49 He asked me why I was being pulled.
33:50 I said, 'Grandmother, I am pregnant.'
33:51 I used to give you a fresh hookah in the car.
33:56 The hookah was so long.
33:58 It was a small room.
33:59 Why did you take the hookah out of the car?
34:01 I was scared.
34:02 Why did you drink the hookah?
34:04 It was a little healthy.
34:06 I had gas.
34:08 Now, I have gas.
34:11 What did you do when you were sick?
34:16 I used to run.
34:18 Really?
34:19 I used to run and run.
34:20 I see.
34:22 I got married three years later.
34:25 Yes.
34:25 I have never seen anyone else.
34:28 I think you got married to your husband after 30 years.
34:31 She is right.
34:32 Really?
34:33 Yes.
34:33 I was scared that I would leave him if I met him after 30 years.
34:38 You had to go to the doctor to get an eye.
34:42 That's it.
34:44 Tell us about this.
34:45 I have a story.
34:46 Yes.
34:46 My brother was very fond of photography.
34:49 I see.
34:49 He made my eyes and got me an eye.
34:52 How many kids did you have?
34:56 I have never counted.
34:59 You never counted the kids?
35:00 What?
35:00 You used to count in those days.
35:02 I don't count after nine.
35:04 You have your share.
35:08 You don't have to count.
35:09 You know it.
35:10 I have my share.
35:11 Everyone eats my share.
35:13 Mr. Arun, you called a crazy old lady.
35:16 Not me.
35:17 Thank you very much.
35:22 You go back to the time machine.
35:23 I will send you.
35:24 Do one thing.
35:25 Yes.
35:26 I am very tired.
35:27 Yes.
35:27 Bring me a blanket.
35:29 Let's go.
35:29 Let's sleep.
35:30 Yes.
35:30 I will sleep on the street.
35:32 Yes.
35:33 No.
35:34 No.
35:36 You are blaming me.
35:37 It's your fault.
35:38 I think this is the end of today's show.
35:42 We will meet you in the next show.
35:44 Take care.
35:46 Goodbye.
35:47 Hoshi ya liya, hoshi ya liya
35:49 (upbeat music)