Hoshyarian | Haroon Rafiq | Comedy Show | 15th September 2023
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00:00 "Smartness, smartness."
00:02 Greetings, viewers. I am Haroon Rafiq and you are watching 'Hoshiyaariyaan'.
00:05 Friends, I met water and we had a chat.
00:09 I met two people. One was Oxygen and the other was Hydrogen.
00:14 I asked Oxygen that you make fire.
00:17 If you are not there, fire cannot burn.
00:20 And I spoke to Hydrogen that you make fire so big
00:23 that if you want, you can make it explode.
00:26 And when you meet, you become the one who extinguishes the fire.
00:30 He replied that when we are separated,
00:33 when we are in our personalities,
00:35 people expect us to help them in making fire.
00:40 If someone is hungry, he wants to cook.
00:42 If someone else is an expert, he wants fire to burn,
00:47 we fulfill his expectations.
00:49 And when we gather and take the form of water,
00:53 people expect us to extinguish the fire.
00:56 This means that the character we play,
00:59 wherever we are, we are expected to do something.
01:02 And God, we are expected to fulfill that expectation.
01:06 So I learnt that humans also need this.
01:09 Your father, mother, son or daughter expect you to do something.
01:14 Your spouse expects you to do something.
01:16 Your children and friends expect you to do something.
01:20 If you fulfill everyone's expectations,
01:23 like the miracles of God,
01:26 then you will also fulfill the expectations of your conscience
01:29 which sometimes makes you nervous.
01:31 And a time will come when you will become like life-giving water
01:35 which everyone will love.
01:37 And then you will realise how good you have made a decision.
01:40 Let's start today's show with this message.
01:42 Let's take you to the market and see what's happening there.
01:45 "I want to see your love."
01:48 "I want to meet you, and I want to go bankrupt."
01:53 "I am done."
01:55 I have seen someone who is cooking roti in the tandoor.
02:00 We just warned you.
02:02 They have taken out the roti.
02:04 I have seen such rotis for the first time.
02:06 You do it, sir. It's not our fault.
02:08 No, you do it. You tell us.
02:10 Naan tikkis! Naan tikkis!
02:12 Rs. 200! Rs. 200!
02:14 Naan tikkis for Rs. 200?
02:15 Naan tikkis for Rs. 200.
02:17 How many tikkis do you put in one naan?
02:19 Half.
02:21 Are these mutton tikkis or something else?
02:24 Sir, what are you saying?
02:25 Mutton is expensive these days.
02:27 I have given you permission to talk to the host directly.
02:30 Okay, sir.
02:31 Go and sit there. I will serve you naan tikkis.
02:33 Don't serve me naan tikkis, but talk to your subordinates
02:36 with love and affection.
02:38 Actually, when I am so frustrated
02:40 I have to talk to the small people like this.
02:42 Why are you frustrated?
02:44 Firstly, my naan tikkis are not selling.
02:46 Secondly, my man was the chief operating check collector in the bank.
02:50 - Really? - Chief operating...
02:53 - Check collector. - Check collector?
02:54 - Yes. - Does he also work in the bank?
02:57 No, there is a boy who has a bag.
02:59 He takes cheques to different branches to give them.
03:02 - Ever since he lost his job... - Yes.
03:04 ...I have been sad.
03:05 After that I started this restaurant.
03:07 Now, because of my restaurant, less people come here
03:09 and more people come here for my beauty.
03:11 Did you think people will come to buy naan tikkis because of beauty?
03:14 Of course, baby.
03:16 That's why the business is not doing well.
03:18 I like it when women come in the business.
03:21 - That's it. - Especially because you are supporting your husband.
03:25 He is the apple of my eye.
03:27 He is the crown of my head. He is my life.
03:29 If I have to give my life for him, I will definitely do it.
03:33 - Wow. - Hey, what are you doing?
03:35 Go down.
03:36 Okay, you are a loyal wife, but your attitude with your servants is not good.
03:42 I give him so much salary.
03:44 He doesn't do any work.
03:45 I tell him to go down. He goes down and looks at me.
03:49 Go and light the stove. Do some work.
03:51 - What? - What happened?
03:53 Oh, what an offer.
03:56 - Should I show you magic? - Yes, show me.
04:00 This is how our business works.
04:08 - Mr. Arun. - Yes, sir.
04:10 This is the condition of businessmen.
04:12 They keep saying that the situation is not good.
04:16 Our business is going down.
04:18 This is a good thing that you are praising the business.
04:21 He is right.
04:23 Businessmen have a habit.
04:25 They like this.
04:27 By default, they say that the situation is not good.
04:31 It's the same business.
04:32 They don't buy cars.
04:33 They buy more land.
04:35 They keep expanding their business.
04:37 They keep saying that the situation is not good.
04:39 - Our business is going down. - Okay.
04:42 The counter was down earlier.
04:45 I had put the egg two minutes ago. Why isn't it cooked?
04:48 Sir, this is a fake egg.
04:50 What do you mean by fake?
04:53 You put the egg on top.
04:54 Burn it. Insolent.
04:56 Thank God, Mr. Arun.
04:57 I had kept all my stuff in the warehouse for two years.
05:00 This. This.
05:01 This is the reason that your things are going up.
05:03 People like you have done this.
05:05 Why? Do you buy things for the sake of being expensive?
05:08 It's so easy.
05:09 No man can hide his stock.
05:12 - They keep it in big warehouses. - Yes.
05:14 The government is sleeping.
05:16 They tell us to tell them that they have taken notice.
05:18 The PM has taken notice.
05:19 The CM has taken notice.
05:21 Get out. There are big sellers everywhere.
05:24 Hello, uncle.
05:25 What is this?
05:26 - Hello. - Kuddu is here.
05:28 Yes. How are you?
05:29 Thank God. I haven't seen Kuddu for a long time.
05:31 I had gone to Brunei.
05:34 Brunei.
05:35 Give me a kilo of sugar.
05:36 What are you cooking at home?
05:38 I am cooking spinach.
05:39 Where do you add sugar in spinach?
05:41 I will make halwa after that.
05:44 He is such a bad boy.
05:46 - One kilo of sugar. - I have brought money.
05:48 First you give me sugar from Chandpur.
05:50 Here is Rs. 90.
05:52 One kilo of sugar.
05:53 Who told you?
05:55 The TV is saying that one kilo of sugar is Rs. 90.
05:57 The sugar that costs Rs. 90 will be consumed.
06:00 It is a new generation.
06:01 Is there any comparison of the new generation sugar?
06:03 - No. - It is also a new generation.
06:05 What is the rate?
06:06 It is Rs. 120.
06:07 Oh.
06:08 I will bring Rs. 30 more.
06:09 What will you bring?
06:10 - I will give you later. - Give me later.
06:11 - Give me later. - I will give you Rs. 90.
06:13 No. No. No.
06:14 I will give you later.
06:15 My mother comes here to buy sugar.
06:18 She comes here to buy sugar.
06:19 Did you bring money or did you buy sugar?
06:21 - Rs. 30. - Yes.
06:23 - Brother. - Yes, brother.
06:25 Will you give me a guarantee?
06:28 You are a good man.
06:29 - You will not leave me. - Yes.
06:31 - Yes. - No.
06:32 Brother, I will bring Rs. 30.
06:36 I hope you will be lucky.
06:40 I will bring Rs. 30.
06:41 - I will be back. - Listen.
06:42 Take the money.
06:43 If you bring the whole amount, you will not get sugar.
06:45 Keep Rs. 90.
06:46 Sir, the rate will be fixed.
06:49 - Okay. The rate is not fixed. - Okay.
06:51 I will bring Rs. 30.
06:53 I will do it.
06:54 Kuddu is a little naive but he is not a fool.
06:56 He is not a fool.
06:58 Do you need a small one in a shop?
07:00 Hello, mechanic.
07:01 - Is it me? - Yes.
07:02 Take this.
07:03 I don't need a small one.
07:05 Oh.
07:09 - What happened? - What can a person do if he doesn't commit suicide?
07:11 - What happened? - What happened?
07:12 Such a small printing. I don't understand what is written.
07:15 - Who is she? - Brother, she is a drama queen.
07:19 Say something. She is a drama queen.
07:21 Brother, she is saying whatever she wants.
07:23 She is the one who says to everyone that she is the one.
07:25 He insulted me.
07:28 Leave it, brother. Leave it.
07:29 - Are you a mechanic? - Yes.
07:30 What is the problem?
07:31 The rickshaw driver can't even wipe his own face.
07:34 Brother, what is the problem?
07:38 She is taking a lot of money.
07:40 She does this.
07:42 New motorcycles take money.
07:44 But she is not new.
07:46 I am just adding to your knowledge.
07:48 New motorcycles take money.
07:50 Brother, the work of taking money is long.
07:53 You can come here and take 200 rupees.
07:54 I will give you a discount of one rupee.
07:55 Sister, it is difficult to earn a living.
07:57 You are a poor man. You are sent here.
07:59 Okay, 50 rupees.
08:00 Sister, I will give you the money of today and tomorrow.
08:02 I will tell you that I can't go anywhere.
08:04 Sister, there is no life of a poor man.
08:08 - Why? - New motorcycles take money.
08:10 I told her to go ahead.
08:13 She said, let's go ahead.
08:14 Brother, a plate of 40 rupees for you.
08:17 - What is this? - 40 rupees.
08:19 It is special from the tandoor.
08:20 You are in the tandoor.
08:22 I had switched off the tandoor.
08:23 What are you doing to sell it?
08:25 There are separate curtains for women in the tandoor.
08:28 Give it to me. My mother is waiting.
08:31 Really?
08:32 - One minute. - What is it?
08:35 The rate is 140 rupees.
08:38 It will be 70 rupees now.
08:39 - Okay. - How much more will you give?
08:42 I will give 20 rupees more.
08:43 Give me 20 rupees. I will give it to my mother.
08:45 Because I will go home and exchange the stock.
08:48 But this is not done.
08:53 The rates will increase the next day.
08:54 If the rate is fixed today.
08:56 Just like gambling on matches.
08:58 - Yes. - There is gambling on sugar too.
09:00 Yes.
09:01 If a person has 50 lakhs.
09:04 He buys sugar worth 14 crores.
09:07 On speculation.
09:08 That I will sell it at a high price the next day.
09:10 He doesn't have money.
09:11 The person in between.
09:14 - Yes. - Especially in Lahore, Karachi and Peshawar.
09:18 He plays gambling.
09:20 You are paying the price for his gambling.
09:22 How much money will I take?
09:23 Brother Veer, I don't understand anything.
09:25 Get lost.
09:26 Get lost.
09:26 I am not your friend. Get lost.
09:27 Brother, get up and hit the cake.
09:29 Brother, I had to bear the pressure once before.
09:31 I had to.
09:33 I used to cook flatbreads.
09:35 When I got down from the bed, I was amazed.
09:37 He is a brave boy.
09:38 Brother, my legs are tired.
09:41 Take the final offer of 20 rupees.
09:42 Your legs are tired.
09:43 You should sleep now.
09:45 There is no shopkeeper.
09:46 What were you doing in the oven?
09:48 Trying to sell.
09:49 How can you try to sell in the oven?
09:51 You should find new ways.
09:53 Brother, give him a fresh egg tikki.
09:57 Son, this tikki looks like a queen.
10:01 Brother, look at the loss.
10:04 Look at the loss.
10:05 Okay.
10:06 This motorcycle is 70 cc.
10:09 Look at the loss. You should be careful.
10:12 You just found out this.
10:15 I will find out the loss.
10:17 I have come this far.
10:18 You should be careful.
10:21 I am getting scared.
10:22 This is the family business of our motorcycles.
10:24 This is the family business.
10:25 Motorcycles are not to be recognized.
10:27 Oh, God.
10:29 He is here.
10:30 Very good.
10:31 You need half the road to get a rickshaw.
10:33 Your business will not be successful.
10:34 Brother.
10:36 Your elder brother is here.
10:37 Check him.
10:38 You think I am a mechanic with a motorcycle?
10:40 No, brother. Who are you?
10:42 Basheer, did you hear the name of the dentist?
10:44 Yes.
10:44 He is standing here.
10:45 He is holding a tooth.
10:48 Greetings, brother.
10:50 Greetings.
10:51 Brother, how much is the naan tikki?
10:53 200 rupees.
10:53 Give me one naan tikki.
10:54 Okay.
10:55 Sit. I will get it.
10:57 Sit.
11:00 Look, who is getting a naan tikki?
11:02 Brother.
11:04 Yes.
11:04 Here is the money.
11:05 140.
11:06 140.
11:07 One minute.
11:08 One minute.
11:09 First, listen to the sugar.
11:10 Good job, Kuttu. Good job.
11:13 No, sister.
11:14 I have not put so much sugar that I have to pay for the petrol.
11:16 Brother, you have put petrol in his mouth.
11:19 Sister, I will go home.
11:21 I will go home with a bang.
11:22 I will come back.
11:25 Yes. This is a little oil garnishing.
11:27 Wow.
11:29 You did not let me listen to the phone.
11:30 No, I will not forget.
11:31 First, listen to the sugar. - Absolutely right.
11:32 Brother, I will go home with the sugar.
11:34 No, brother.
11:35 You listen to me.
11:36 Understand me.
11:37 You will understand me.
11:38 When I will talk to you, you will understand.
11:40 One minute. Listen to me.
11:41 Sit.
11:43 He is very intelligent.
11:45 What is he saying?
11:46 Brother, you listen to me.
11:48 Yes. Yes. Yes.
11:49 Brother, I have come to China three times.
11:51 Three times.
11:51 That means the rate is high.
11:53 Brother. - Yes. Yes.
11:54 Hurry up. I will go home.
11:55 I am asking you.
11:56 Brother, I am coming from Purdeh.
11:57 I don't have time.
11:58 Give me my car.
11:59 No, no. First, drink this.
12:00 It is a little bitter.
12:02 Sister, I want to give you a naan.
12:04 Okay. - Sit. Sit.
12:05 I have brought it. Sit.
12:07 I am not that big.
12:08 I am sitting at a height of 1.5 meters.
12:09 Brother, God knows that there is no one as talented as us.
12:14 Why?
12:14 Which motorcycle is from Dehlo Purzai?
12:16 Which motorcycle?
12:17 Rs. 200.
12:19 Rs. 200.
12:20 Will you eat?
12:21 Yes. I will eat 100.
12:22 Yes.
12:24 You think that the stove is on now.
12:27 It will not get cold tomorrow.
12:29 Brother, what is the time?
12:30 Brother, five minutes.
12:31 Let's go home together.
12:33 Okay.
12:38 What did you get? What happened?
12:39 This is a break, brother.
12:40 Everyone knows that this is a break.
12:41 You have seen the break of the canteen.
12:43 This is the tenth break of that.
12:45 Brother, you don't know this much.
12:47 What is the mechanic for?
12:48 For the motorcycle.
12:49 What is this?
12:50 This is 70cc.
12:51 Brother, you.. - What?
12:54 I forgot.
12:55 I have brought 70cc motorcycle.
12:57 What?
12:58 I didn't get it.
13:01 You are wasting time.
13:04 This is wrong.
13:05 I will put it back.
13:06 Brother, listen.
13:07 I am already sad.
13:08 I have to buy an electric bike.
13:10 You are not helping me.
13:12 I don't do this.
13:13 Move aside for a minute.
13:14 I am already sad.
13:16 Brother, you..
13:17 Look..
13:17 Brother, you are a teacher.
13:18 Brother..
13:19 Brother, one minute.
13:22 He is working hard.
13:23 Yes.
13:23 He is asking what all things are there.
13:26 He will become a mechanic after a month.
13:28 Will you sit here?
13:29 He has understood the break.
13:31 He will understand everything in a while.
13:33 I am sad.
13:34 Eat.
13:35 No, I don't eat anything.
13:37 He is not listening to me.
13:39 Sit down.
13:45 Brother..
13:46 He has found the problem.
13:49 He has found the problem.
13:51 The tire was not touching the ground.
13:54 He is sitting on a big stand.
13:57 Brother, how long will I learn to work
13:59 by looking at your motorcycle?
14:00 What happened?
14:05 What happened?
14:06 I am reading old newspapers for two days.
14:08 He is making excuses.
14:10 He is a bank robber.
14:11 Sit down.
14:14 Sister, the closer I got..
14:17 Greetings, sister.
14:17 ..I reached the point.
14:19 You had a problem in the morning.
14:21 What problem?
14:22 My man had a problem.
14:24 Who else?
14:24 How did your man have a problem?
14:26 He is such an ill-mannered man.
14:27 I don't know how his shop is running.
14:29 He is having a problem.
14:30 I will ask him to go to his shop.
14:31 Don't you dare call my man a problem.
14:33 What else should I say?
14:34 Even monkeys say that.
14:36 I will get the ration.
14:39 One minute. Wait for two minutes.
14:41 What happened?
14:42 He has reached the point.
14:43 What happened?
14:44 This thing is moving.
14:46 How will the car move?
14:47 This is to keep the foot.
14:48 When the rider is sitting behind..
14:50 ..he has to keep his foot.
14:51 The car has to move.
14:52 How will it move?
14:53 There is no one sitting behind me.
14:55 If there is no one sitting behind..
14:57 ..then how will the car move?
14:59 I am not telling anyone to sit behind.
15:01 I am driving the car.
15:01 I am not here to make stones.
15:03 Give me the ration quickly.
15:05 Give me the ration.
15:06 Sister, look at this.
15:08 Give me the money.
15:09 Take this.
15:10 Is this all the money?
15:12 Yes, that which I gave you.
15:14 He gave me this money for the last month's ration.
15:16 Yes.
15:17 I will tell you how much ration will be there.
15:20 This is all that will be there.
15:21 May God bless you.
15:24 Channa. - He is saying may God bless you.
15:26 What will you do with so much money?
15:29 Boil it.
15:30 Give it to someone.
15:33 Give it to someone.
15:34 Cook it.
15:35 And eat it with rotis.
15:37 You think I am sensible.
15:41 Sister. - Yes.
15:43 The money that I had taken last month..
15:46 Yes.
15:46 ..I got only this much.
15:53 What happened?
15:54 Mr. Dhruv. - Yes.
15:56 He is a cheat.
15:57 Sister, he will not be caught till he tries.
16:03 He will be released before he goes to the village.
16:06 Oh, God.
16:09 I will teach them a lesson.
16:11 Teach them a lesson and finish him.
16:14 Chote.
16:16 Don't you see the time?
16:17 We have to take the kids from school.
16:18 I don't remember.
16:20 I will bring the kids from school. - Hurry up.
16:22 He brings the kids from school.
16:24 Who else will bring them?
16:26 Why?
16:26 The kids are mine.
16:29 How many kids do you have?
16:30 We have three kids.
16:32 We have three kids. So, six.
16:34 Oh, God.
16:36 He is the father of my kids.
16:38 Oh, God.
16:39 He is your younger cousin.
16:43 He is my younger cousin.
16:44 He was the one who..
16:46 Give me eight.
16:47 He is the one who is my life.
16:52 I am working day and night for him.
16:54 He is the one who is eating sweets day and night.
16:57 It is not starting.
17:00 Will you fix the key or will it start?
17:03 Oh, God.
17:04 You have got the key for its safety.
17:07 What is this product?
17:11 Sister, when you will get it,
17:13 you will have to tell me about the precautions.
17:15 Ladies and gentlemen, let's take you to the poor and helpless people
17:18 who are fed up of the high prices.
17:20 Let's see how they are surviving.
17:22 He is with us.
17:24 Why did you come here?
17:25 To buy sugar.
17:26 He came here to buy sugar.
17:28 But did you get sugar?
17:29 No, we didn't get sugar.
17:30 Because sugar was very expensive.
17:32 How much sugar did you buy?
17:33 We didn't get sugar.
17:34 All the sugar that you bought, they didn't get it.
17:36 How will we survive without sugar?
17:38 What do you want to tell the government?
17:40 I will.. - He wants to tell the government
17:41 that if they don't do this, they will create a problem.
17:44 We will break everything.
17:45 I will.. - He says that he will set fire.
17:47 He will burn everything.
17:49 He didn't say that.
17:50 Everything will be set on fire.
17:52 What will you say about this?
17:54 I will say.. - Absolutely right.
17:55 What will you say?
17:56 I will.. - You can see how sad and angry the people are.
17:59 Madam, what will you say?
18:01 Look at this.
18:02 He has said such a wonderful thing
18:03 that if this happens, our country will be destroyed.
18:06 Brother.. - Yes, brother.
18:08 Business.. - Business..
18:10 It is very wrong.
18:11 I swear to God, the matter started with sugar.
18:13 The matter started with sugar. Let's go again.
18:16 What will you say about sugar?
18:18 It is very expensive.
18:20 Ladies and gentlemen..
18:21 Petrol..
18:23 Ladies and gentlemen, what are you looking at?
18:24 Tikki..
18:26 Yes?
18:27 Tikki..
18:29 Our sugar..
18:32 Ladies and gentlemen, a small break.
18:37 We will meet after the break.
18:39 In Indian movies, if a man opens the door of a star, he is killed.
18:42 Uncle, you are like a goat.
18:47 You can eat the bones and the teeth, but not the horns.
18:49 When you got married, was your wife like this?
18:55 I will tell you, she was like this, but she fell on you.
18:57 Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen.
19:11 Ladies and gentlemen, in the break, we have the Japanese family
19:15 who have come twice before.
19:16 This time, they have brought their son.
19:18 Let's ask them why they have come.
19:20 Welcome..
19:22 Please sit. You will get to meet the Langarda.
19:25 You have come from Japan? - Yes.
19:27 Aunt had kept the shoes of Sultan.
19:29 She walks there. I have seen her in the fighter films.
19:33 You have got legs there.
19:35 She walks behind the tree like this.
19:38 Like this..
19:40 How?
19:41 Like this..
19:42 Oh, God!
19:43 Although, she walks, but you know who she is.
19:46 She has a background.
19:49 Yes, she has a background. - Mr. Haroon.
19:50 Yes. - He is going inside the house.
19:53 I was about to say, you are like a swaj.
19:57 What is your relation with her?
20:01 Mr. Haroon, actually..
20:02 I like you. - Okay.
20:03 I like your program.
20:04 I like your country. I want to stay here.
20:06 We have the right to stay wherever we want.
20:08 The one who likes the person, let him stay.
20:12 He was facing me, but he said it to everyone.
20:16 Sir, if he had said it to everyone, he would have turned his face.
20:18 Tell me, why have you come?
20:20 Actually, he has come to play a role.
20:21 He has decided to stay in Pakistan.
20:23 I am very happy about this.
20:25 You liked my country.
20:28 He said what I said first.
20:29 That you liked all of us. - Yes.
20:32 Is there a ninja who holds a sword like this?
20:35 Give it to me.
20:37 Leave the sword if you want to.
20:40 Give it to me.
20:42 It is not the real fault.
20:44 He didn't make it sharp.
20:45 Do you think I am a fighter? - Yes.
20:48 I got this belt from a fighter. - Yes.
20:50 I can hit a navel. I am a fighter.
20:52 You have decided to stay in Pakistan.
20:58 Yes.
20:59 But you cannot stay here. - Why?
21:01 If you look behind, you will see a lot of variety.
21:04 I still don't understand.
21:07 What will you do in Pakistan?
21:08 Sir, we thought of making a ninja academy.
21:12 Now we think of making a ninja academy.
21:14 No, we are not ninjas.
21:16 We have been doing this for a long time. - Yes.
21:18 I will make a Punjab-Punjab-Bunja academy.
21:20 Tell me.
21:23 Where will you get an instructor for the ninja academy?
21:27 You will teach me.
21:29 Really? - Haven't you seen movies?
21:30 What happens? - First you come out.
21:32 Then you come out.
21:34 Are you watching my son? - Yes.
21:36 You taught me this.
21:37 I lost the championship to Kanti for 11 years.
21:40 What did you teach him? Ninja? - Ninja.
21:43 This is a red belt. This is not a black belt.
21:46 Don't say black. It is there.
21:47 Why did you come to us?
21:49 You want to open a ninja academy. Go and open it.
21:51 No. - Publicity it.
21:53 What should I do?
21:54 We want to make a restaurant here.
21:56 Restaurant? - Yes.
21:57 But it will have Japanese food.
21:59 Yes. It will be called sushi restaurant.
22:01 We have eaten a lot of sushi. You were here.
22:04 I will believe that you are Japanese.
22:07 Tell me what are the ingredients in sushi.
22:10 I am very happy to meet you.
22:11 Where will you get seaweed from?
22:14 You won't get seaweed. How will you wrap it?
22:16 Yes. - I don't understand these things.
22:18 Look, how will you wrap raw fish?
22:23 You think I am making a restaurant for no reason.
22:25 Yes. - I am making it to teach you.
22:27 You will sell crispy fish.
22:31 What? - No.
22:32 No.
22:33 No. I was selling the uniform.
22:39 Crispy fish is a type of sushi. - Okay.
22:42 It is still edible.
22:44 Who is your sous chef?
22:46 No. We don't have a sous chef in Japan.
22:48 No. - No.
22:49 It is not a relation.
22:51 He is from Japan. He will do it.
22:54 Sir, I understood that he is not Japanese.
22:57 He is a new model of Harry Potter.
23:00 Mr. Arun, I will support his ninja academy
23:04 if he shows me his duty.
23:06 Can you do something?
23:08 Yes. - You can take the shopper's bag
23:10 if you want to do some art.
23:12 You haven't seen his magic. - Which one?
23:18 He will cut the sword and open it.
23:22 But he will give a sound effect.
23:27 He won't have any shame.
23:28 Come, open it.
23:30 Before you get insulted, tell us what you can do.
23:33 Can you do something?
23:35 My son will eat the sword for 45 minutes.
23:39 He is very brave. He has cut so many swords.
23:43 Sir, he is feeling pain. He is pressing it.
23:46 Mr. Arun, do you know what he does with the sword?
23:49 Don't tell him.
23:50 He will put it on his head and take the sword inside.
23:55 Oh, my God!
23:58 Can you do something?
24:00 I want to pull the sword.
24:04 We have heard so much. Now do something.
24:06 I have brought the sword with me.
24:08 What can you do with this sword?
24:10 Sir, I break tubes on my head during functions.
24:13 Bring four or five tube lights.
24:14 Okay. - Sir, I don't break them on my head.
24:17 I have a special person for that.
24:19 Okay, sir. What is your magic?
24:22 Sir, I am not a cheetah.
24:23 I am a powder or a cheetah.
24:25 I have a special person for that.
24:29 Can you balance the sword on your head?
24:32 Yes, I can. - Show us.
24:34 No, I won't. Let him do it.
24:36 In Ninja films, Baba opens the door of the star and gets killed.
24:41 Baba doesn't watch the movies at home.
24:45 Sir, you are like a goat.
24:48 You eat bones and grains. You are a lion.
24:51 Was your wife like this when you got married?
24:57 If I say she was like this, what will you say?
25:00 Was it a love marriage or an arranged marriage?
25:02 Tell your mother that it was a love marriage.
25:04 Sir, we have advertised your restaurant.
25:09 We are making a Japanese restaurant.
25:10 Yes. - You can.. - You will have to pay a lot of money.
25:14 You can sell your wife's underwear at the bus stop.
25:17 You think she won't sell it?
25:19 She will take my underwear.
25:21 You have taken a place. - Yes.
25:24 You have put tables and chairs there.
25:25 Table and chairs? - Yes.
25:27 You have put tables and chairs there?
25:28 We have taken table and chairs. - Why?
25:30 She said she will bring a girl. - Yes.
25:32 She will bring a girl. - Who?
25:35 She wants to get her son married.
25:36 Which Japanese man is she talking about?
25:38 You want to get him married? - Yes.
25:41 We have seen the girl. - Who is she?
25:43 She is sitting in front.
25:44 Are you talking about Arzu? - Yes.
25:46 Very good.
25:48 We will have to praise his good intentions.
25:50 Because we have been watching your program for a long time.
25:52 How much is he getting paid?
25:53 (Laughs)
25:56 (Applause)
25:57 We will not get married. She will be our daughter-in-law.
25:59 He is our son.
26:01 He looks like a monkey.
26:02 (Laughs)
26:03 Look, we should ask the boy.
26:05 He has the right to do so.
26:06 No, we should explain to him first.
26:08 You shouldn't make him sit in your house.
26:10 (Laughs)
26:12 You have been sitting here for eight years.
26:13 I am a bachelor.
26:14 (Laughs)
26:15 If I have been sitting on your door for eight years..
26:18 ..then I have been sitting here for a long time.
26:19 (Laughs)
26:20 Mr. Salim, listen to me.
26:22 Why are you becoming his heir?
26:24 I am still alive.
26:25 You should give him money like uncle..
26:27 ..who is busy with the marriage.
26:28 Like uncle..
26:29 I am tired of your nonsense.
26:30 I don't like this family.
26:32 (Laughs)
26:33 Listen to me.
26:34 She is joking.
26:36 Actually, she is our colleague.
26:37 Irza is looking for a proposal for Arzu.
26:41 Because he is a boy.
26:42 (Laughs)
26:43 We should ask the boy.
26:44 Yes.
26:45 Do you have any demand?
26:46 Sir, I don't have any demand.
26:48 First, get me a drink.
26:50 What? - A drink.
26:51 A drink. - A drink.
26:53 Yes. - I don't have any demand.
26:55 Am I less than a drink?
26:57 Irza. - Yes.
26:58 I found a diamond for you.
26:59 Hurry up.
27:00 But your demand is very weird.
27:03 I won't give you a table and chairs.
27:04 I don't have any demand.
27:05 I want her eyes.
27:07 I want her long hair.
27:09 I want her fair skin.
27:10 I accept it.
27:11 Hello, brother. - What is this?
27:13 I am standing here and you are talking nonsense.
27:16 (Laughs)
27:17 Is your kitchen ready?
27:19 Look, check his business.
27:21 The kitchen is ready. - Yes.
27:22 I didn't bring the stove. - Why?
27:25 My wife said she will bring the stove.
27:27 (Laughs)
27:28 Okay.
27:29 He will make the restaurant.
27:31 Yes. - You will make a juheza restaurant.
27:33 (Laughs)
27:34 Did you decorate it?
27:35 No, my wife said she will bring the stove.
27:38 (Laughs)
27:39 Tell me, are you paying the rent for the empty building?
27:42 No, I am not paying that.
27:43 Why?
27:44 Obviously, my wife will bring the stove.
27:45 I will keep the money for the security.
27:46 (Laughs)
27:47 He doesn't want a girl. He wants a sponsor.
27:50 I think you should talk to Mr. Haroon.
27:52 Yes.
27:53 What is the program?
27:54 Your son has a sword. Get him a flour mill.
27:57 Buddy.
27:58 Get it.
28:00 (Laughs)
28:02 (Applause)
28:05 Viewers, we will meet after a short break.
28:08 Did you shave your head or did you get it done by a barber?
28:12 (Laughs)
28:13 Sir, you know my sisters are like this.
28:16 So I thought I should go.
28:17 (Laughs)
28:19 "Wake up, wake up."
28:22 Welcome back, viewers.
28:23 Iza, I can't see Mr. Danish.
28:25 He is sitting there and getting his moustache fixed.
28:27 (Laughs)
28:28 The door that was coming in, Mr. Sinha.
28:30 Yes.
28:30 It is stuck with the grill.
28:32 (Laughs)
28:33 Mr. Danish, is there something?
28:34 Mr. Danish.
28:35 What is Mr. Danish?
28:37 (Laughs)
28:38 He is the Sean Connery of our area.
28:40 (Laughs)
28:41 He used to say the same.
28:42 (Laughs)
28:42 What is going on?
28:43 Yes, absolutely.
28:44 Okay, what is the problem?
28:45 Sometimes I see a spirit in him and it disappears.
28:49 (Laughs)
28:50 Okay, forget about it.
28:51 We have a very large audience in the show today.
28:55 And they want to talk to us.
28:57 So let's go to them.
28:58 Okay.
28:58 Come.
28:59 Come.
28:59 Come on, get up.
29:00 (Laughs)
29:02 Okay.
29:03 Who is it?
29:04 (Speaks in Urdu)
29:07 Wow.
29:08 (Speaks in Urdu)
29:10 Yes.
29:10 (Speaks in Urdu)
29:13 Yes.
29:14 (Speaks in Urdu)
29:17 Yes.
29:17 (Speaks in Urdu)
29:20 (Speaks in Urdu)
29:23 Wow.
29:23 Wow.
29:25 Wow.
29:25 Very good.
29:26 I have heard such stories.
29:28 I used to say,
29:29 "I will go for a two-month-long trip on a metre."
29:31 (Laughs)
29:32 Oh, man.
29:33 I used to hear such stories.
29:34 (Speaks in Urdu)
29:38 (Speaks in Urdu)
29:39 (Laughs)
29:40 Stop him. He is my guest.
29:42 Yes. He had such a deep voice.
29:44 He had such a beautiful voice.
29:47 Sir, he is a guest.
29:48 He is not a guest.
29:49 (Laughs)
29:52 Okay. Next.
29:53 It was a very good poem.
29:55 Greetings.
29:55 Greetings.
29:56 My name is Asif.
29:56 I want to sing a song.
29:58 Yes, Asif.
29:59 Wow.
30:00 Wow.
30:00 (Sings in Urdu)
30:07 (Sings in Urdu)
30:12 No. No. No.
30:12 Wow. Wow. Wow.
30:13 (Sings in Urdu)
30:21 Wow.
30:22 (Sings in Urdu)
30:26 (Sings in Urdu)
30:30 (Sings in Urdu)
30:34 (Sings in Urdu)
30:40 (Sings in Urdu)
30:43 (Cheers)
30:46 Wow.
30:47 (Cheers)
30:49 Superb.
30:50 Look, Asif..
30:51 You don't see.
30:52 If a person doesn't sing a song.. - Yes.
30:54 ..and suddenly a person sings it..
30:56 ..at least he will be an SP.
30:57 (Laughs)
30:58 You sang very well, Asif.
31:00 Thank you, sir. Thank you.
31:01 You look like a decent man.
31:03 (Laughs)
31:04 I will go to the office of the grade.
31:06 I will sing inside.
31:07 I will go to the PA.
31:08 I will go inside and meet him.
31:09 I will not let anyone in.
31:09 (Laughs)
31:10 Is the PA grade good?
31:12 It is good.
31:12 Increase my knowledge.
31:13 Sir, MP3..
31:14 Sir, MP3 is 24,000 grade.
31:17 (Laughs)
31:17 The flirtatious style he sang..
31:20 .."Jai Nai, Dua Dijiye"
31:24 Wow.
31:25 Asif, you didn't take a bath.
31:26 You didn't take a bath.
31:28 (Laughs)
31:31 Go home and think.
31:32 "What will happen to me?"
31:34 (Laughs)
31:36 Okay, you have applied the jukta.
31:38 Yes.
31:39 You have applied the jukta.
31:39 No, not yet.
31:40 Okay, tell us your rank.
31:43 Yes.
31:43 I am an inspector in the airport security force.
31:46 Wow.
31:47 (Laughs)
31:50 I hope you leave the airport and go safely.
31:52 (Laughs)
31:54 May God bless you.
31:56 He is my mother-in-law.
31:58 (Laughs)
32:00 I have heard two singers from all over the world.
32:02 Who?
32:02 India's Mohammad Rafi and Haji Pahana.
32:04 (Laughs)
32:07 Who is next?
32:09 Did you shave your head or did you get it done by a barber?
32:12 (Laughs)
32:13 Sir, you know that my sisters are like this.
32:16 So, I thought I should go.
32:18 (Laughs)
32:20 He told us that he was inspired by you and Arzu.
32:24 She is a jahati.
32:24 I thought you will be inspired and keep a moustache.
32:26 (Laughs)
32:28 A man doesn't get his wife to shave his head.
32:30 Then?
32:31 He will get his wife to do it.
32:32 Did you think I am a thorn?
32:33 (Laughs)
32:36 - Greetings. - Greetings.
32:38 There were two kids of a hen.
32:40 One was named...
32:41 The other was named...
32:43 Mama used to call her...
32:47 Ta, ta, ta.
32:48 Ta used to call her...
32:49 Ta, ta, ta.
32:51 She went to the doctor and told him the problem.
32:53 She said, "I call her, ta, ta."
32:57 "I call her, ta, ta."
33:00 The doctor told her the solution.
33:02 (Speaks in Urdu)
33:06 (Laughs)
33:08 You look so innocent and attractive.
33:14 What does a man do for his stomach?
33:16 (Laughs)
33:17 I thought you will say, "He is a naksh faryadi."
33:21 Yes, and he will say, "He is a...
33:23 (Laughs)
33:24 - Very nice. - Very nice.
33:26 (Applause)
33:27 Next.
33:28 - Greetings. - Greetings.
33:29 I am from Sargodha. My name is Mohammad Sherdil.
33:32 - Yes, Sherdil. - I am from Ahmed Faraz's Ghazal.
33:34 - Wow. - Wow.
33:36 (Speaks in Urdu)
33:40 - Wow. - (Speaks in Urdu)
33:43 - Wow. - (Speaks in Urdu)
33:47 (Speaks in Urdu)
33:50 - Wow. - (Speaks in Urdu)
33:53 (Speaks in Urdu)
33:56 (Speaks in Urdu)
33:58 - Wow. - Wow.
34:00 - Very nice. - Wow.
34:01 (Applause)
34:04 - Very nice. - (Speaks in Urdu)
34:08 (Speaks in Urdu)
34:10 (Speaks in Urdu)
34:11 - Wow. - (Speaks in Urdu)
34:13 (Speaks in Urdu)
34:16 (Speaks in Urdu)
34:18 - Wow. - Wow.
34:20 (Speaks in Urdu)
34:23 (Laughs)
34:24 (Speaks in Urdu)
34:27 (Speaks in Urdu)
34:30 (Speaks in Urdu)
34:33 - Wow. - (Speaks in Urdu)
34:36 (Speaks in Urdu)
34:38 - Wow. - (Speaks in Urdu)
34:42 (Laughs)
34:45 (Speaks in Urdu)
34:47 (Speaks in Urdu)
34:54 (Speaks in Urdu)
34:57 - Wow. - (Speaks in Urdu)
34:58 (Speaks in Urdu)
35:01 (Laughs)
35:03 (Speaks in Urdu)
35:04 (Speaks in Urdu)
35:06 (Speaks in Urdu)
35:08 (Laughs)
35:10 (Speaks in Urdu)
35:17 (Speaks in Urdu)
35:19 (Speaks in Urdu)
35:22 (Laughs)
35:23 (Speaks in Urdu)
35:26 (Speaks in Urdu)
35:29 (Speaks in Urdu)
35:33 (Speaks in Urdu)
35:37 - Wow. - (Speaks in Urdu)
35:40 (Speaks in Urdu)
35:43 (Speaks in Urdu)
35:46 (Speaks in Urdu)
35:49 (Speaks in Urdu)
35:50 (Laughs)
35:51 (Speaks in Urdu)
35:53 (Speaks in Urdu)
35:55 (Laughs)
35:58 (Speaks in Urdu)
36:00 (Applause)
36:02 This was today's show. We will meet you in the next show.
36:05 Take care.
36:07 Goodbye.
36:08 "Hoshi yaariya, hoshi yaariya."