Parents with disabilities connect to support each other
It's estimated around seven hundred thousand Australian children live with one or both parents with disability. Many of those parents experience prejudice and have trouble finding networks where they feel comfortable sharing the ups and downs of everyday family life.
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TVTranscript
00:00 Good work, Kiri.
00:02 Heading out on the school drop-off,
00:05 it can be difficult for Kate to holker to know what her kids are saying.
00:10 Have you got spot today?
00:12 I don't know.
00:14 Have you?
00:15 35-year-old Kate lives with an invisible disability.
00:19 Hang on.
00:20 So, I'm hard of hearing. I wear hearing aids.
00:24 When I was a baby, I got meningitis.
00:26 I've had hearing aids since I was about six, seven years old.
00:31 I rely a lot on lip-reading.
00:33 I think you just adapt.
00:35 When you have a disability, you figure a way around it.
00:37 Mum, can you be on my team?
00:40 The family talks openly about Kate's disability.
00:43 There's a chance her hearing will continue to deteriorate,
00:47 but she knows her children will adapt.
00:50 They speak louder.
00:54 They talk to my face.
00:57 But again, they're still kids. They're still quite young.
00:59 They're only four and six, so they're still learning.
01:01 You know, you can't yell at Mum from the room.
01:03 She's not going to hear you.
01:05 Have that.
01:06 I know I'm training them to be very good communicators
01:09 because they're going to have to be to communicate to me.
01:11 She let me dress up in her favourite old dresses.
01:14 Kate's disability has informed her parenting.
01:18 I always make it a point to read lots of books that talk about differences.
01:22 My room or outside in the sun.
01:24 I try to expose them as much as possible.
01:27 Kate's also using her lived experience
01:30 to connect other mothers with disability,
01:32 setting up a website and social media groups -
01:36 safe spaces for disabled mums.
01:39 I can find heaps of groups for parents with children who have a disability,
01:44 but nothing for parents who have the disability themselves.
01:46 So I was just like, "We need something here."
01:49 It's all about support, knowing that you're not alone.
01:52 (BABY CRIES)
01:54 We're going to get you. We're going to get you.
01:56 Being a mum who is blind, I've had to find my tribe.
02:00 As my baby has grown, new challenges have popped up,
02:03 but having reassurance from a supportive cheer squad
02:06 has made all the difference.
02:08 He has made me realise that I can do things.
02:18 Like, it might take a while, it might take longer than most people.
02:24 The simple pleasure of pushing her son in his pram
02:29 almost didn't happen for Louise Cook.
02:32 An accident while playing polo cross in 2015
02:36 nearly took away her dream of having a baby.
02:39 I was in a coma for about four to five months,
02:46 and then it was a slow... slowly came out.
02:50 (BABY CRIES)
02:52 I just thought, "Well, that's done for me."
02:55 Like, I've got no hope of ever becoming a mother.
03:00 Louise married Pat in 2019,
03:05 and they've welcomed Arthur, who is now 16 months old.
03:09 I used to get upset that I couldn't, like, play with him or anything,
03:15 and my sister said, "Put him on the bed with you
03:19 "and snuggle him on the bed,
03:22 "and you can do everything a normal mother can."
03:26 Louise uses adaptive technology
03:30 and gets help from her family and support workers.
03:34 As long as Arthur's safe, I can do anything.
03:39 Like, just...
03:41 It might be different to how other mothers do it,
03:44 but if he's safe, I can do it.
03:48 In 2024, Louise and her husband will welcome their second child.
03:53 If you love your baby, everything else will work out.
03:57 (BABY CRIES)
03:59 If you want to be a parent and you have a disability,
04:03 it does take a village,
04:04 and we shouldn't be shamed for needing a village
04:07 just because we have a disability.
04:09 High five! Boom!
04:12 [BLANK_AUDIO]