40 ல் - தனிமையிலே இனிமை காண முடியுமா ? | Dr. Poorna Chandrika | HTT
உங்கள் அனுபவங்கள் மற்றவர்களுக்கு உதவியாக இருக்கும் | Dr. Poorna Chandrika | HTT
Transcript
00:00 Vanakkam, Hindu Tamil Designers.
00:03 Today we are going to talk about mental health issues that can happen at the age of 40.
00:10 40 is a landmark age.
00:14 But we are not at that age.
00:17 We are still young.
00:19 40 is a landmark age.
00:22 Our family would have settled, our children would have grown up, we would have reached college or we would have reached 10th or +2.
00:31 Our career would have been in a good position.
00:37 We would have changed in many places.
00:39 But we are going to be in this career for a few more days.
00:42 This is the stage.
00:44 At this stage, in the midst of all these problems, what would it be like if we passed 40?
00:51 Look around you.
00:53 Mothers, women, all of them are beyond the age of 10th or +2.
00:58 They are mentally prepared to face the challenges.
01:01 The boys are already in the midst of it.
01:04 They are already in the midst of the need coaching, JIE, NIE, and all the coaching centers.
01:12 Some people, I am saying that they are in their 10th or +2, because in the first period, the marriage happened very soon.
01:19 In the early days, the marriage happened as soon as the parents told them.
01:25 Now, the marriage happens a little later.
01:28 So now, we are all a little late in childbirth.
01:31 After freezing the eggs, the children are born and grown up.
01:36 It is a little delayed in this stage.
01:40 In the midst of this, the current situation, in the midst of this stress, the menstrual cycle of women is delayed.
01:50 Because of this delay, sometimes there is a lot of anger, sometimes there is a lot of tension, sometimes there is a lot of tears.
01:56 Then what should we do? What should we do all these days?
01:59 These are all philosophical questions.
02:01 We have to consider this as a time to ask questions.
02:05 In the coming positions, women over the age of 40, we said that they are all around.
02:11 So they will be in your house too.
02:13 You may be over 40 years old watching this.
02:16 I am saying this, I am over 50 years old.
02:19 So, the women in your house, the women around you,
02:23 I believe that if you see the things that we are going to talk about,
02:29 it will be a rejuvenating program.
02:32 (Music)
02:42 Hello, today we are going to see what is called Empty Nest Syndrome.
02:47 What is this? It is called Empty Nest.
02:50 In Tamil, it can be translated as "Gali Koodu".
02:53 Now, the parents who are over 40, 50 years old, who are in our midst,
03:00 at home, it is very quiet.
03:02 Where are the kids?
03:04 One boy is in America, another girl is in Canada, got married, went to study,
03:10 is in college, staying in a hostel.
03:13 When we say a lot like this, there is a little worry on their faces.
03:17 We are always busy, right?
03:21 We are always behind the kids, in the morning.
03:24 But how are you? You can't even call.
03:27 They will pack your lunch, school, bring you,
03:30 then they would have taken you to coaching class.
03:33 Then, for the future course, for the course the child is studying now,
03:38 they would have done a lot of research work.
03:41 They would have taken you to the airport.
03:44 Or, they would have taken you to a hostel in Chennai or abroad.
03:51 Now, when they sit, they don't know what to do.
03:58 When we were young, we would ask, "Madam, do you have friends?"
04:03 Some people would come, when they have a problem with their children,
04:07 when they have mental problems,
04:10 "Don't you have friends? Who would you tell?"
04:13 "No, madam. My time and hers don't match.
04:16 She has kids, she goes to school, so our time doesn't match.
04:20 We can't see each other."
04:23 But, they are the ones who are going to be with us.
04:26 This has been mentioned in WhatsApp posts many times.
04:29 We are with our family, our friends, whomever we consider.
04:33 We don't have to be with our family.
04:36 The people who are with us and take care of us are our family.
04:39 I have said this in many posts.
04:41 Friends matter. Good friends.
04:44 I have seen such people.
04:46 A son is in America.
04:49 When he comes, he says, "I am leaving, madam."
04:52 I asked, "Where?"
04:54 "My friends will pick me up."
04:56 She said, "I am getting old, but I am at home.
05:01 My mother-in-law is 90 years old.
05:04 I need to ask permission from her."
05:07 This is the old generation.
05:11 When the young generation sees this, they say, "What?"
05:14 "How is that? Where are we going?"
05:17 "I am the one who is calling her."
05:20 But, she still tells them.
05:23 Her mother-in-law says, "Why do you have to do this?"
05:26 "Do you want to go out for coffee?"
05:29 "No, I have to go."
05:31 She was very happy.
05:36 She was very happy to see her friends and talk about old stories.
05:40 How have they managed this?
05:43 But, what should be managed?
05:46 The question is, how to manage loneliness?
05:50 How to manage frustration?
05:52 Confusion. Worries.
05:55 Worries about what our children think of us.
05:58 Worries that our children will call us and say, "I will call you later."
06:03 What should we do to manage this?
06:06 We always tell our daughters to take care of themselves.
06:11 We tell them to take care of their physical and mental health.
06:14 But, if the children are not at home, they say, "I don't like cooking."
06:17 "I eat only Rasam rice."
06:20 So, we have to take care of their physical needs.
06:23 Then, they will have other problems.
06:26 They won't take care of their husband.
06:30 Even if they have problems with their husband, they will keep pushing them away because of their children.
06:34 They will keep saying, "For the sake of my children."
06:37 But, now that the child has grown up and gone out,
06:40 all the problems with the husband will come back.
06:44 I am telling you about your friends to manage all these.
06:51 There will be an interest in you that, "These are not my friends."
06:58 It will definitely be there.
07:01 Whether it is reading the newspaper daily,
07:04 reading the Hindu and Tamil newspaper,
07:07 reading the English newspaper,
07:10 or reading the weekly newspapers, you have to develop that interest.
07:13 If you have that interest, don't give up.
07:16 There is no time to give up.
07:19 If you think that you will be alone,
07:22 you can do it if you can be alone.
07:25 If you are alone, you can give a book.
07:28 You can give a book.
07:31 You can give a book.
07:34 You can give a book.
07:37 You can take classes online.
07:40 You can take classes online.
07:43 You can take classes if you take some help.
07:46 Many people come to me who have studied French.
07:49 They say, "I know Japanese."
07:52 I can teach them.
07:55 Another thing is volunteering.
07:58 Your experience helps.
08:01 Your experience will definitely be helpful to everyone.
08:04 You may not know some things that you know.
08:07 You can say that.
08:10 You don't have to volunteer in something that is not related to you.
08:13 You can volunteer in a temple or church.
08:16 You can volunteer in a hospital.
08:19 You can volunteer in an organization.
08:22 You can do research online.
08:25 If you are engaged in this,
08:28 you can get out of the emptiness syndrome.
08:31 This week, we saw about emptiness syndrome.
08:34 What are we going to see next?
08:37 We are going to see the mental problems of people over 40.
08:40 Thank you.