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00:00 Alright, so let's get into the tweet of the day from Richard Mendenhall.
00:03 He said, "I'm sick of average white guys commenting on football.
00:06 Y'all not even good at football.
00:08 Can we please replace the Pro Bowl with an all-black vs. all-white bowl
00:11 so these cats can stop trying to teach me who's good at football?"
00:14 Yes.
00:15 I'm better than your goat.
00:17 Holy sh*t.
00:18 Okay, so hold on.
00:19 You wanna talk about ratings?
00:20 We have liftoff!
00:22 [MUSIC]
00:34 It matters who the coach is gonna be.
00:35 I feel like Belichick should coach the white team,
00:39 given his experience with the Julia Edelmans, the West Welkers.
00:41 Black team probably coached by Mike Tomlin,
00:43 or maybe Mike McDaniel can coach for a half.
00:46 The secondary is a real issue for us, matching up against Tyreke Hill.
00:50 This could be over quick.
00:51 [MUSIC]
00:53 [APPLAUSE]
00:54 The linebackers are showing up big.
00:55 What did they say about the –
00:56 Are we allowed to cheer or what?
00:58 This is the try not to cheer challenge.
01:01 Skill level impossible.
01:02 [MUSIC]
01:04 Let's go.
01:06 Keys, keys.
01:07 Big play, big play.
01:09 I don't think you should be allowed to cheer as loud as Big T's cheering.
01:12 Yeah.
01:12 [LAUGHTER]
01:19 That's always gonna be the issue.
01:21 We had a good run.
01:22 That was a good run.
01:23 That's not good.
01:24 Where were you the first two plays of this game?
01:25 I feel like the refs are gonna be a big wild card in this situation.
01:28 Two and two.
01:29 [MUSIC]
01:37 Oh, that's not PI.
01:40 Rigged.
01:41 Jake, we should get a picture of you with the gun afterwards.
01:43 The Segregami.
01:44 [MUSIC]
01:48 There's no white corners to choose from.
01:50 No.
01:51 Not even like all the way at the bottom.
01:52 We have like two safeties.
01:53 I mean, this would be way better than the Pro Bowl.
01:55 I'd be dialed in for this.
01:57 [MUSIC]
02:02 Oh, there they go.
02:03 Touchdown, Derek Henry.
02:04 That was too easy.
02:05 Too easy.
02:07 Josh, big loser.
02:09 I knew he was gonna give him one.
02:10 And that's the X-Factor right there.
02:11 They got safeties, we don't.
02:13 Josh, you gotta be better than that.
02:15 Go, go.
02:16 [MUSIC]
02:19 Oh, he's gonna get locked.
02:21 No.
02:22 No.
02:24 He got the fork.
02:25 Run, bitch, run.
02:26 Oh.
02:26 Oh, boy, Josh.
02:27 Touchdown.
02:28 This game's easy.
02:31 Everyone was over.
02:32 That was easy.
02:32 Who was that?
02:33 The blacks with a commanding lead after one half here.
02:36 Let's go.
02:37 I took the whites plus 14 and a half.
02:38 I hope the blacks win, though.
02:40 That'd just be a bad look.
02:41 That sounds like your dating profile.
02:43 Whites plus 14 and a half.
02:45 Grace, brains, integrity, talent.
02:49 It's more than that.
02:50 Strength and gifts of themselves.
02:52 Great husband, great father.
02:54 Focus, focus, focus.
02:55 Here we go.
02:56 The all white versus the all black team.
03:00 NFL game.
03:01 NFL game.
03:01 Yes.
03:02 That is in the works.
03:04 We don't know where it's gonna-- could even be in my backyard.
03:06 Really could.
03:06 It really could.
03:07 I make the all black team 24 and a half point favorite.
03:12 And my over under is 90.
03:14 We're gonna run the ball, we're gonna control the plot,
03:16 and we're gonna have to sneak a turnover.
03:18 All black team 90, all whites 70.
03:23 You're gonna cover by four points.
03:24 Oh, man, it's crazy.
03:25 It's crazy how fast it took off.
03:27 At the end of the day, the blacks team
03:29 is gonna take it all the way.
03:31 And they don't have DBs to stop them high power receivers.
03:33 And that's just it.
03:34 That's the game.
03:36 After canceling on us like so many times in a row.
03:39 Once, dude.
03:40 Stop being so sensitive.
03:42 I just miss you.
03:43 That's all.
03:45 You look pretty good.
03:47 Are you giving me-- that's the GM touch.
03:49 You see that?
03:50 He wants to see if I'm fat.
03:51 Get out of here.
03:52 We need a cornerback.
03:52 That's like a GM.
03:53 Whenever you see a GM or a coach, when they see you after,
03:56 like you haven't seen each other for a while,
03:57 they'll grab your hand.
03:58 They want to feel you.
03:59 Like, how you doing?
04:00 They want to see if you've been working.
04:02 We need a cornerback in the all white team.
04:04 You don't got a lot of guys.
04:05 Am I going both ways?
04:06 Yeah.
04:07 You gotta go both ways.
04:08 You gotta go both ways.
04:09 Am I going on this?
04:09 Yeah.
04:10 Let's do it.
04:11 We're wrestling.
04:12 Let's do this.
04:13 Julian, what's up, stud?
04:14 How's it going?
04:14 What's up, man?
04:15 That's showing off a little bit.
04:17 That was nice.
04:17 Jules would be, like, have to play both ways
04:20 if he was still playing.
04:21 He might have to be starting DB.
04:23 I mean, legit.
04:24 I mean, I don't think he would want to play DB,
04:27 but with the lineup that I put out there.
04:30 I'm telling you.
04:31 Yeah, it must have been hard to build that one, man.
04:34 All right, everyone.
04:35 It's Barskill Sports Advisors.
04:36 It's time for another episode.
04:37 Dave Portnoy is back.
04:39 And when that's the case, Jerry has to find a different way
04:42 onto the show.
04:42 So today, we're getting him dressed
04:45 as Stuart Finer's father.
04:46 If you follow Stu, you've definitely seen his dad.
04:49 So we've recreated the outfit.
04:51 We've got dog tags.
04:52 We've got veteran hats, blind people glasses,
04:56 a turtleneck, fishing vest, and as Jersey Jerry calls them,
05:01 the diabetes 12, Velcro New Balance system.
05:03 [MUSIC PLAYING]
05:07 It's just a wrinkle, so I'm still--
05:09 OK.
05:10 [MUSIC PLAYING]
05:12 Oh, it's a--
05:14 Let's go.
05:14 [MUSIC PLAYING]
05:17 Fuck, that's a workout.
05:24 That's bad luck.
05:24 Use a wheelchair if you don't need it.
05:27 Oh, shit.
05:27 [MUSIC PLAYING]
05:30 Whoa.
05:31 [MUSIC PLAYING]
05:34 [MUSIC PLAYING]
05:37 Do I look good?
05:45 You look like Jerry.
05:46 There's a little bit of finer in here, dude.
05:48 Take your glasses off.
05:49 Yeah.
05:50 Yeah, see, the glasses aren't necessary.
05:52 You kind of look good as an old man.
05:54 You're going to age well.
05:55 Wow.
05:56 What'd you get, an extra slim?
05:58 I told you I had one of these.
05:59 I ordered a fucking triple-- a double XL.
06:01 You wanted this one.
06:02 I have them down there.
06:03 Go get them.
06:04 Go get them right now.
06:05 [MUSIC PLAYING]
06:08 You sure suck.
06:17 All right, buddy.
06:17 All good.
06:18 Now it's all good.
06:20 OK, Grandpa?
06:21 Come on, spider's up the stretch.
06:23 There we go.
06:24 Come on, get up.
06:25 [MUSIC PLAYING]
06:32 [LAUGHTER]
06:33 Daddy!
06:35 Oh, you mean--
06:36 [LAUGHTER]
06:39 The outfit-- the outfit is, like, on point.
06:41 Perfect!
06:42 My father wears that exact outfit,
06:44 like with the glasses and everything.
06:46 I think the play is-- should be like, hey,
06:49 like this is Dad's last go around.
06:50 Want to see the office one last time.
06:53 You know what I mean?
06:54 You should second he sees you, he knows it's you.
06:56 You think so?
06:58 What?
06:59 Your lines are--
07:00 No, no, no.
07:01 Do you have to have your diaper changed?
07:03 No, no, no.
07:04 How about-- can she say, like, Dad, you smell like pee?
07:06 He's going to know what you're going to say.
07:08 Yeah.
07:09 One fucking second.
07:10 Plus, he's hot.
07:11 I just walked into his office, and he gave me, like, a fuck
07:13 you, like, fuck you.
07:14 Really?
07:15 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
07:16 Not in a good mood.
07:17 He likes to get fired up.
07:18 Like, he gets fired up, he gets it all out,
07:20 and he's like-- he just let you, like, last go.
07:23 You didn't know I was on the phone?
07:24 I swear to God, I told you a lot.
07:26 I literally-- because--
07:27 How did I know you were on the phone?
07:28 Because you knocked, and I didn't even look.
07:30 I switched from listening to a video, and I just looked.
07:33 I would have said hello if I think I was--
07:35 No, I did not know.
07:37 I did not know.
07:38 The wisest person in the world, I would
07:39 want to disrupt this shit.
07:41 What's wrong with you?
07:42 No fork?
07:43 I said no fork.
07:44 You never brought it.
07:45 I brought the fork.
07:46 After I said, bring me a fucking fork.
07:48 How was I meant to know there was no fork?
07:50 When you walked by, and I did this motion to myself.
07:55 TJ, TJ Watts always hurt.
07:57 That's true.
08:00 What was that noise?
08:01 What was that noise?
08:07 [LAUGHTER]
08:09 [SCREAMING]
08:12 I'll take it out on him!
08:20 I'll take it out on him!
08:22 He got you!
08:23 He got you!
08:24 [LAUGHTER]
08:26 [INAUDIBLE]
08:28 Howie Fyter!
08:29 Howie Fyter!
08:30 The reimported Howard Fyter!
08:34 Jerry, how long does that stuff take to get on?
08:36 Four and a half hours.
08:38 Four and a half hours?
08:40 It was worth it.
08:41 What a moment.
08:42 Give me the wheelchair.
08:43 I'm just going to wheel with myself all over the place.
08:45 [MUSIC PLAYING]
08:48 My heart jumped out of my mouth.
08:53 Who's this?
08:54 I was like, who the fuck is this?
08:56 I went closer.
08:57 I was like, oh.
08:58 Eric.
08:59 How are you doing?
09:00 Good.
09:01 It's good to see you.
09:02 Wait, Dave didn't tell?
09:03 No.
09:04 [LAUGHTER]
09:05 My student's been brought up like twice, too.
09:07 He's like, my dad's in the back with Sandy,
09:09 and Dave was like, you know--
09:10 No way.
09:11 Yeah, yeah.
09:12 He was like, yeah, just head down,
09:13 because I was sleeping like this.
09:15 [LAUGHTER]
09:17 Anything good?
09:18 Yeah.
09:22 I'm going to get a towel, but we don't have any, I think.
09:24 [MUSIC PLAYING]
09:27 We've got a three-point challenge powered by Chili's.
09:33 And we've got NBA great Sean Marion in the office.
09:36 He's going to try his hand at a three-point challenge,
09:39 and we're all going to enjoy Chili's.
09:41 I'm going to try to get over there
09:42 and grab myself a triple dipper.
09:44 It seems like it's BYOB.
09:45 Someone's got to break the ice.
09:46 I think I'm going to be the guy to do it.
09:48 Yeah, you told me you got some golf stuff in here, man.
09:50 This is cool.
09:51 Our stool sports, baby.
09:52 We here.
09:53 I mean, I'm telling you, y'all getting the bill.
09:55 I'm telling y'all right now.
09:56 This is Aaron.
09:57 You know who we're sending it to.
09:58 I charge for this shit.
09:59 I don't get fucked up by no post.
10:00 I'm charging.
10:01 [MUSIC PLAYING]
10:04 Nothing.
10:12 Nothing.
10:13 Try to--
10:14 How am I shooting the ball?
10:15 No, good.
10:16 You're going to mock me.
10:19 Mock me here, y'all.
10:20 I don't sit like that.
10:21 Imitation is flattering, right?
10:23 If you want to mock me, mock me.
10:24 You got to do what feels comfortable to you.
10:26 I'm not going to tell you my secrets.
10:28 What up, baby?
10:29 How you been?
10:30 I'm nervous.
10:31 Awesome, awesome.
10:32 Oh, Hank Rick did cut me out of the competition.
10:39 Probably the best shooter here.
10:40 I just don't want to embarrass myself.
10:42 I'm in the range of four is on the table.
10:46 But I also get like 12.
10:48 I get a little hot.
10:49 [INAUDIBLE]
10:51 You mean shocks people.
10:53 What the fuck do you mean, shocks people?
10:55 You think you're going to shock some people?
10:58 That-- I didn't--
11:00 Brandon's-- he's tall.
11:02 And you can't just be tall for no reason.
11:05 So I have a feeling Brandon's going
11:06 to get in a couple shots.
11:07 If not, we're going to see a humongous hissy fit,
11:09 because that's what Brandon does.
11:10 Brandon talks a lot of trash.
11:12 I never talk any trash.
11:14 When's the last time I talked trash?
11:15 They beat you like a week ago.
11:17 Sean Marion?
11:18 I would be mad if I could beat Sean Marion at this point.
11:20 He's not a pro.
11:21 He retired like 15 years ago.
11:23 Oh, Sean Marion's doing this?
11:24 Yeah.
11:25 Hope to beat him, right?
11:26 All right, I think--
11:28 I'd like to readjust my expectations.
11:30 I think Sean Marion's going to win this.
11:32 He was never a really good shooter, especially if he was three.
11:35 He was not a three guy.
11:36 I don't even know what's going on, dude.
11:38 I'm trying to get this shit on.
11:39 Dark horse.
11:40 Dark horse, right here.
11:41 Chili's baby back ribs.
11:45 Chili's baby back ribs.
11:47 I want my baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back.
11:51 I want my baby back, baby back.
11:53 Welcome to the Chili's three for me, three point contest.
11:56 Alongside the 2011 NBA champion, Sean Marion, I'm Jake Moore.
12:00 Thanks for joining us today.
12:02 [MUSIC PLAYING]
12:05 Oh my god.
12:12 [MUSIC PLAYING]
12:16 [INAUDIBLE]
12:19 [MUSIC PLAYING]
12:22 [INAUDIBLE]
12:25 Oh.
12:27 [INAUDIBLE]
12:29 Oh.
12:32 Oh, no, this is getting-- needs this badly.
12:35 This shit can get set up.
12:36 You guys should--
12:39 Fuck, all right.
12:42 We're doing it.
12:43 [MUSIC PLAYING]
12:46 17 points.
12:53 18 for a new record of 20.
12:56 Oh, yeah.
12:57 [INAUDIBLE]
12:59 20 points.
13:01 That guy just fucking around and beat Sean Marion.
13:03 That was pretty crazy.
13:04 Isn't this Suns, Ring of Honor?
13:05 Phoenix Suns, you need some help.
13:06 Let me know.
13:07 That's a setup.
13:08 Let's be honest.
13:09 It's the one thing that I do better than anybody.
13:11 But I had to win this, or else my entire identity
13:14 is called into question.
13:15 So I'm glad I won.
13:16 It's more relief than anything else.
13:17 Oh, this is cool.
13:18 This is dope, man.
13:19 Great experience.
13:20 I'll definitely be back.
13:21 You want to be a hooper now?
13:22 You want to turn into a hooper now?
13:23 Well, this is it.
13:24 I ain't going to get any higher than this.
13:25 No, you're going to get no bigger.
13:26 Yeah, so--
13:27 One time.
13:28 For these?
13:29 One, two, three.
13:30 That's all she loves.
13:32 [LAUGHTER]
13:34 [BANGING]
13:38 [BANG]
13:41 Morning.
13:42 You like this drip, or what?
13:45 All purple.
13:46 Hey.
13:46 Oh my god, one of his lines is, I'd be lying if I said
13:55 my asshole wasn't tight.
13:56 And I added onto it.
13:57 I said, I'd also be lying if I said
14:00 it didn't get loosened up by this guy I met in my building
14:03 last night.
14:04 But that's here nor there.
14:05 He's hot.
14:06 I'm going to say that's neither here nor there.
14:08 Maybe leave it.
14:09 That sounds like Nicky's pose.
14:10 But that's here nor there?
14:11 Yeah.
14:12 OK.
14:13 Yeah, it's better.
14:14 All right, all right, all right.
14:15 Josh, I'm going to coffee time.
14:18 I don't do coffee anymore.
14:19 I mean, I'm just like, I'm walking around the house
14:21 at like 4 AM with a coffee in my hand.
14:23 Well, you shouldn't drink it late at night.
14:25 I know.
14:26 I didn't really think about that.
14:27 When was the last time you had a coffee?
14:29 Last night.
14:31 1.30, 2.
14:33 I've been food poisoning for a day or two.
14:35 What did you get poisoned on?
14:36 Oh, hot dogs, mini hot dogs, pigs in blankets.
14:40 Those got you?
14:41 Yeah.
14:42 But those were already cooked.
14:43 Yeah, but the problem is they sat out for hours.
14:45 I got on the video games when I got home.
14:47 12.30, 1 I go.
14:48 Ate like maybe 25 of them.
14:50 Yeah.
14:51 And then I just-- next morning, it was bad.
14:53 Both ends or what?
14:54 Both ends.
14:55 Oh.
14:56 Titus is doing his show.
14:58 What's his show?
14:59 What is it called?
15:00 Oh, Mark Titus Show.
15:02 [MUSIC PLAYING]
15:05 [SINGING]
15:33 Hey!
15:34 Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way.
15:39 Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh.
15:44 [HUMMING]
15:47 [HUMMING]
15:50 [HUMMING]
15:53 Hmm.
15:54 [BLANK_AUDIO]