GUN BATTLE DREAM!

Name: GUN BATTLE DREAM!
Uploaded: 2024-02-22T16:32:11+00:00
Duration: 1 h 52 min 21 s
Channel: Stefan Molyneux

00:00:00 Hey Steph, I watched your Punish Woman video and I saw that you analyzed someone's dream.

00:00:06 I had a dream last night and I want to know what your thoughts are.

00:00:10 The scene starts with me in class.

00:00:12 An Asian man is in front teaching the students.

00:00:15 He's wearing a blue suit with a long back and a white dress shirt with a lapel or bib sewn to the collar.

00:00:22 He had a black belt and had dress pants.

00:00:27 I made a mental note about how impeccably dressed he was.

00:00:32 The scene changed with me and the class with about 3 or 4 people sitting around a desk discussing something.

00:00:38 There was a story that... so this is where the story gets foggy, right?

00:00:42 I don't remember what we were talking about, but I know it was something... we were making actual philosophical arguments.

00:00:50 I cannot remember exactly what they were, but if I could, I could actually break them down. They were actual arguments.

00:00:58 I felt that my words and logic were worth great and I felt confidence in my arguments.

00:01:07 But the next scene shifts to me struggling in class with something.

00:01:12 The teacher off to the side is not happy either.

00:01:15 This part is also foggy as I don't know exactly why. If I remember, I could explain it as well.

00:01:22 Later on, the teacher was wearing the same outfit but in red and was talking to another teacher where he laughed very loudly, agoriously.

00:01:33 He talked to the other man who was standing there, hand behind his back, was wearing a black suit

00:01:42 with a diagonally strapped tie with a black, red, and white, I believe.

00:01:48 He was more tame and stood there and he didn't seem to be as interested in the conversation as the taller Asian guy.

00:01:56 The next scene was me sleeping. I didn't open my eyes, but as I woke up, I could see around me.

00:02:06 This was probably when I was lucid because I could remember the parts after in more detail than before in the classroom.

00:02:14 So back to when I was sleeping. So I woke up, but my eyes were closed and I noticed that I was resting on the back of the car.

00:02:22 I had a set of images here if you want to reference it all. Those are all.

00:02:28 So not in the trunk, but I was on the back window of the car and my feet were extending past the trunk.

00:02:37 I didn't know where I was or how I got there, but I thought it was weird that the driver didn't notice I was on his back window.

00:02:45 When I turned right, I jumped off the car. So when he turned right, sorry, as he was crossing one of the roads, it was in the suburb,

00:02:52 he crossed one of the roads to the right, I got off the car so he wouldn't notice that I was actually on his back window.

00:02:58 As I obviously landed, I didn't have any shoes and I thought it was really weird that my feet weren't cold.

00:03:07 I went the opposite direction that where he was driving to see if I could recognize where I was, the surrounding area.

00:03:14 While I was walking, I noticed there were some people at a house and I asked them for help.

00:03:18 There was a group of about two or three men there and they seemed to know me.

00:03:22 They asked me what I was doing there and seemed very confident.

00:03:28 Sorry, they seemed very confused. One asked me why I wasn't wearing any clothes and what I was doing there.

00:03:34 Obviously, I told him I had no idea.

00:03:36 The next moment, I noticed about three men on the opposite road standing there ominously.

00:03:43 On the other side of the sidewalk where the driver instead turned left to the right side,

00:03:48 I noticed some men over there as well and I felt kind of danger. I felt like I was getting ambushed.

00:03:54 The guys there that was with me, the three guys I was talking to before, they noticed as well.

00:03:59 They said they had weapons in the van just up the road.

00:04:04 We moved discreetly to the van hoping that we didn't get ambushed or attacked.

00:04:08 They opened the van and each picked out a set of rifles, guns, something like that.

00:04:12 Obviously, I went to the back of the car as I didn't want to take any guns.

00:04:17 I was planning to hide in case of a gunfight in anticipation of the attack.

00:04:22 The guys were in the front of the car, at least behind.

00:04:28 So behind the car, the car was in between them and the guys that were on the opposite road from us just in case of an attack.

00:04:38 We were just waiting there. In this distance, I could see a police car coming down the road.

00:04:43 The car was very expensive. It wasn't like a normal police car. It was an expensive car but had police lights on it.

00:04:50 A Lambo, I'm not sure what it was.

00:04:52 The guys hid their guns and did not want to get caught. I had hoped that the car would just pass by.

00:05:00 [silence]

00:05:05 Sorry. The car turned...

00:05:07 As the car was driving down the road, it turned into the driveway just above where the van was with the weapons and all the guys with the weapons hiding there.

00:05:17 I tried to distance myself from the other guys so as to look like I wasn't part of them.

00:05:23 Obviously, I didn't want to go to jail so I woke myself up.

00:05:26 And that's the story.

00:05:29 Right, right. It's a great dream.

00:05:32 A great dream.

00:05:34 So, you've got the Asian guy at the beginning.

00:05:38 So, it's a very formal, educational environment, right?

00:05:42 You know what? It's weird because he was wearing a suit with a long back and a lapel. I'm not sure what it's called.

00:05:49 So, he was really dressed very, very well which I guess it was out of high school or something like that.

00:05:55 Well, I don't know. Hang on. So, just before we get into details, I just want to get the general shape.

00:06:01 So, you make some arguments and then it's good and then the class starts struggling.

00:06:10 And the teacher wearing the same outfit is talking to another man, laughs loud.

00:06:17 And there's something a bit odd about that, right?

00:06:22 Well, I was going to say, agoriously, I couldn't spell the word. But he was almost fake laughing, I would say.

00:06:30 He was, I guess, trying to butter up the other guy who was more calm. He was more...

00:06:35 Okay. So, the teacher is formal and philosophical but then it turns out he's fake.

00:06:43 Right, because the Asian guy is making philosophical arguments. He's very formal.

00:06:48 Sorry. I don't know if I wrote that right. He never made any arguments.

00:06:51 I made the arguments in the class. So, he never made any philosophical arguments.

00:06:55 Sorry, but he obviously... It was a class on philosophy, right?

00:07:00 Like, why would you... I mean, unless I misunderstand something, you would be making arguments in that class

00:07:05 because it was a class that had something to do with rational arguments or philosophy or something like that, right?

00:07:10 Or is it totally different outside the class that you're making philosophical arguments?

00:07:14 No, we're in the same class with the same teacher and same students. I never thought of it...

00:07:19 Oh, well, I never thought of the class itself being about philosophical arguments.

00:07:25 You know, it's when I was...

00:07:26 No, but sorry, sorry, but isn't that what the dream is saying to some degree?

00:07:30 Like, you're in a class with this Asian guy and you're making philosophical arguments.

00:07:34 I am, yes.

00:07:35 And he's not saying, "No, no, this is an engineering class," or something.

00:07:38 He's like, "That's what you do," right?

00:07:41 Yeah.

00:07:42 Okay, so you're making philosophical arguments and then you're in class struggling with something.

00:07:48 The teacher's off to the side, not happy either.

00:07:51 And later on, the teacher wearing the same outfit but in red was talking to another man.

00:07:57 Now, okay, tell me about your experience in university or high school.

00:08:01 Did you go to university?

00:08:03 I did, I did, but I left, I think, last semester.

00:08:10 Okay, so what did you take in university?

00:08:14 Software development.

00:08:15 Software development, okay.

00:08:16 Did you take any electives in the software sciences, social sciences, history?

00:08:21 I did not, but I think we had, like, I think that's probably why I left, because last semester

00:08:27 we had, like, mandatory, like, liberal courses and I just, I didn't want to do it.

00:08:33 Okay, so you know what this is then, right?

00:08:36 So you're supposed to be making these arguments and then things go badly.

00:08:39 And next thing you know, the teacher's dressed in red.

00:08:41 Red is the color of what?

00:08:43 Danger?

00:08:45 Communism.

00:08:46 Oh, yeah.

00:08:47 And red, it's the color of blood and danger and all this kind of stuff, right?

00:08:51 Can I, can I, I think, I think you're making some good points and good connections.

00:08:57 I think with my schooling, there's a point where I think is more pertinent.

00:09:03 I'd like to explain if you'd like.

00:09:04 So, you're not correcting me, I'm just feeling my way through your dream, so you're the authority

00:09:09 here.

00:09:10 So the reason I should never wanted to go to school, I wanted to do, you know,

00:09:15 I think I would have worked part-time and maybe gotten to a, what's it called?

00:09:19 Coding bootcamp or something like that for exactly the same thing.

00:09:22 What had happened was I had worked, I think I had three, about three K saved up and I was

00:09:27 planning to, okay, I was thinking, okay, I'm done high school, high school, high school is like

00:09:31 jail.

00:09:31 So I'm like, I'm almost out of jail.

00:09:33 Okay, I'm going to be free.

00:09:34 I just need to work a bit more and then I can get my own place and do, do something like that.

00:09:39 And I'm like, okay, I can do that.

00:09:40 I bring this up with my parents, like my dad, and he's like, no, you can't do that.

00:09:43 You either have to, you have to, it's like two weeks to move out or you can go to school

00:09:48 and I'll pay for it.

00:09:49 And that was kind of like the ultimatum that I was given.

00:09:53 And what's this software degree was like a three or four year degree or?

00:09:58 It was four years.

00:09:59 Four year degree.

00:10:00 So you wanted to go to a bootcamp and get going and your dad's like, no, half decade is what

00:10:05 you need to spend.

00:10:05 Exactly, exactly.

00:10:07 So I'm like, I'm like, oh my God.

00:10:13 So obviously I didn't, I didn't want to do that at all.

00:10:16 I didn't want to, yeah, I didn't want to go to school at all.

00:10:20 So sorry, sorry, I lost my train of thought.

00:10:24 Yeah, I'm not sure how that fits in.

00:10:28 So, okay.

00:10:29 So how long did you go to uni for?

00:10:30 Uh, I think four years, four years.

00:10:35 Oh, you said you left though.

00:10:37 The last semester.

00:10:39 Wait, you got to the last semester and didn't finish?

00:10:42 Last semester I did finish.

00:10:44 Why not?

00:10:44 I did not want to, well, I wanted to leave, I think the second year, but.

00:10:51 No, no, but you got so close to the end and then you didn't finish.

00:10:54 I'm not criticizing, I'm just like, it's a little, little surprising to me that

00:11:00 you do like, I don't know, 90% of it and then not, not just finish it off.

00:11:05 I think it was more like a terror just to be there.

00:11:10 So I'm like, I have to get out of here, like any way, shape or form.

00:11:13 Okay.

00:11:16 So then this does fit in with that.

00:11:21 There's this thing you're supposed to be discussing ideas, arguments, logic, right?

00:11:26 Words and logic also has to do with, I mean, people who aren't programmers, right?

00:11:30 You, you know, programming.

00:11:32 I was a programmer for decades and, um, uh, programming is, is arguments.

00:11:40 Right.

00:11:41 Because you're, you're using human language.

00:11:42 A lot of times, if you're using basic or something like that, or COBOL, you're using,

00:11:46 you know, go to go sub return print, you know, like you're using human,

00:11:50 you're using human language to debate the computer or argue the computer into doing something.

00:11:56 And if the computer throws an exceptions, you have to have, you know, on error, go to

00:12:02 message box, error, return, or resume or exit, or whatever you have to handle all the errors.

00:12:06 And right.

00:12:07 So you are negotiating with the computer using language.

00:12:11 Exactly.

00:12:14 So the fact that you're doing like words and logic is computer programming.

00:12:19 So whether it's philosophical arguments or computer programming, but then the teacher

00:12:28 is not happy and he's in red and he's talking to another man.

00:12:31 He laughs loud as he talks to the other man, as he talked, the other man was in a standard

00:12:36 black bluish suit with a diagonally striped tie that went white, black, red, not sure.

00:12:41 With was first, which was first the black or the red, he was more tame, but sit there with his

00:12:48 hands rested behind his back, looking over the class.

00:12:50 He didn't seem to enjoy the conversation as much, but smiled nonetheless.

00:12:53 So everyone's kind of faking.

00:12:54 And it seems to me that this guy, the other guy, your teacher is talking to is in charge,

00:12:58 right?

00:12:59 Or is that the case?

00:13:00 Does he look like he's in charge?

00:13:01 It looks like that because the other guy is sucking up to him.

00:13:04 Yeah.

00:13:04 Yeah, the guy's sucking.

00:13:05 So there's a status or a hierarchy here, right?

00:13:07 Okay.

00:13:08 But smiled nonetheless.

00:13:12 So he didn't seem to enjoy the conversation as much, but smiled nonetheless.

00:13:15 So somebody who doesn't really enjoy the conversation, but is smiling is getting what

00:13:19 he wants.

00:13:20 So if you can think of like, think of some guy, he just wants to sleep with the girl,

00:13:27 right?

00:13:27 Just wants to sleep with some girl.

00:13:29 And the girl is, you know, blathering on about something or another.

00:13:32 He's not really enjoying the conversation, but he knows that at the end of the conversation,

00:13:36 she'll sleep with him.

00:13:38 He gets what he wants.

00:13:38 Yeah.

00:13:39 So he'll like, he's not really enjoying the conversation, but he's smiling and he's

00:13:44 patient and he's awaiting and right.

00:13:46 So he's in charge, right?

00:13:48 And there's this kind of ritual you're going through, which is, you know, okay, honey,

00:13:51 I'll pretend to be interested in your story about your dog and then we'll just go to bed.

00:13:54 Does that sort of make some?

00:14:01 Just actually a second to think.

00:14:02 It reminds me, it reminds me of like high school because obviously I didn't, I didn't

00:14:12 want it.

00:14:12 It was like jail, right?

00:14:13 So I put on a mask for high school, although I guess it's not getting what I want, but

00:14:17 it's more like I had to, I had to endure or pretend like I was enjoying something that

00:14:22 was a dream has to be something you don't know.

00:14:24 Otherwise it would be an insight.

00:14:28 The dream is a reach, it's a reach around from the unconscious saying, can we, can we,

00:14:32 I'll be in a safe place to understand this connection yet.

00:14:34 Right.

00:14:36 Otherwise it would just come to you as an insight or maybe the dream would be so obvious.

00:14:40 So if you already know that high school was a jail, you won't dream about high school

00:14:44 being a jail because you don't need to learn that.

00:14:45 Right.

00:14:48 So the dream has to be something that you don't know yet, but, but it's really important

00:14:51 for you to know.

00:14:52 But it's sort of in my view, and we'll see if this fits with the dream.

00:14:58 I think it's fit fairly well.

00:14:59 So in my view, there are truths that sink to the unconscious that are very dangerous

00:15:04 to speak in public.

00:15:05 Right.

00:15:07 So the dream is like, okay, here's a connection.

00:15:10 I'm going to give it to you in dream form because if I give it to you directly and you

00:15:14 speak it directly, you could get killed.

00:15:17 So we need to get to some, some kind of truth.

00:15:19 We need to get to the truth because we're human beings and we like to pursue truth,

00:15:22 but is it safe?

00:15:25 Is it safe?

00:15:27 Like, so in, in trench warfare, right?

00:15:30 What do you do?

00:15:31 You, if you need to know if there's a sniper around, you don't just stick your head up

00:15:34 because you get your head blown off.

00:15:35 Right.

00:15:35 So you put, you put a helmet on a stick, right?

00:15:38 And you raise, you raise the helmet above and you see if the sniper shoots the helmet.

00:15:44 Right.

00:15:44 So dreams are like, are there snipers out here?

00:15:48 So I, so the, I guess the dream would be.

00:15:52 We don't know what the dream is yet.

00:15:55 I'm just talking about the architecture of dreams as a whole.

00:15:57 Okay.

00:15:58 Okay.

00:15:58 So you, you were taught something to do with reason, logic, philosophy.

00:16:08 This could be any sort of part of your education.

00:16:12 And the teacher is not the teacher.

00:16:16 The teacher is actually kind of a slave or a serf, or the teacher is higher status relative

00:16:22 to the students, but very low status relative to this guy with the striped tie.

00:16:26 Right.

00:16:27 Uh-huh.

00:16:28 Because he's like, bowing and scraping and right.

00:16:30 So to speak, right.

00:16:32 Yeah.

00:16:33 Yeah.

00:16:34 Okay.

00:16:35 So we think like when we go to school, we think the teachers are in charge and they're

00:16:41 authority figures, but they're not, but they're not, you know, one of the, one of the big,

00:16:48 I guess, shocks of COVID and all of this was like, yeah.

00:16:52 Doctors are in charge.

00:16:55 Yeah.

00:16:55 That was, that was.

00:16:55 They're all going to lose their license if they go against the narrative.

00:16:58 Right.

00:16:58 So there, so one of the big sort of shocks is seeing the tendrils of power that go up

00:17:04 way, way beyond the people who have authority over us when we're kids.

00:17:09 Right.

00:17:09 So you, you go to some teacher and you think, oh, wow, this teacher's in charge.

00:17:12 It's an authority figure.

00:17:13 It's like, nope, they're not, they are there to represent a certain ideology.

00:17:19 They are chosen, picked, trained and indoctrinated in that ideology.

00:17:23 And if they deviate from that ideology, they will not be there.

00:17:27 So we think teachers are authority figures.

00:17:30 And in a way they're more enslaved than we are, because at least we get to get out of

00:17:35 school at some point and they're stuck there forever.

00:17:37 Interesting.

00:17:40 Interesting.

00:17:40 Actually, speaking of COVID, that actually was, I think, one of the reasons I left or

00:17:46 one of the things that coincided, because I think during the lockdowns we had like,

00:17:50 because it was coding, right?

00:17:51 So you could do it at home.

00:17:52 And then I didn't want to do any of that after, because you have to do all the classes.

00:17:59 Or the last semester, I think I did like a semester at home and then I could do the last

00:18:05 semester also at home, but I'm like, oh no, I'm not going to do it.

00:18:08 So obviously I was actually back home because of COVID, because I was at the campus, but

00:18:12 then I came back home.

00:18:13 So yeah, it's coincided with that as well.

00:18:16 No, and of course, for how long have young people been told by their elders, don't succumb

00:18:22 to peer pressure.

00:18:23 Don't do it just because everyone else is doing it.

00:18:25 Like look at the evidence, think for yourself and don't just follow the crowd, right?

00:18:31 So when I was a kid, if you'd say, well, I did it because the other kids were doing it,

00:18:35 everybody would say, everybody in authority would say, well, if they jumped off the Brooklyn

00:18:39 bridge, would you jump off it too?

00:18:41 Think for yourself, don't just follow the herd, right?

00:18:45 Now it turns out everybody was extremely full of shit about all of that.

00:18:49 Oh, very true.

00:18:51 Because everybody was just like, okay, we'll follow the herd.

00:18:54 Okay, they say it come from a pangolin, I guess I don't know what a pangolin is, but

00:19:00 I guess it came from a pangolin.

00:19:01 Oh, apparently respiratory viruses die at the six foot mark away from the rule.

00:19:06 Masks are magic, even though it says on the mask, it doesn't protect you against airborne

00:19:10 coronaviruses, we've got to wear it.

00:19:12 Like it was just like completely retarded.

00:19:15 Now, all these people we think are authority figures are not authority figures.

00:19:20 Now, tell me what you think of this.

00:19:23 The reason my dad wanted me to go to school wasn't because of the, because of like my

00:19:33 passions or something, but he wanted the prestige that it would come and the money that would

00:19:38 come from me graduating from school doing software.

00:19:42 That's what I'm thinking.

00:19:42 Well, what do your father's motivations matter?

00:19:49 I'm not saying they don't matter.

00:19:51 I'm just trying to understand why we would talk about something we can't possibly prove.

00:19:54 Because I'm thinking it connects to the teacher and the way that the two people are talking.

00:20:03 It's like, my, I guess my goals, my wants, all of that has nothing to do with the actions

00:20:11 that are taken, but it's about something else.

00:20:14 Well, I mean, the dream could be criticizing you.

00:20:18 So your dad bribed you to spend four years of your life doing something you didn't even

00:20:25 complete.

00:20:26 Why the hell did you do that?

00:20:27 I mean, did he bribe or threaten you, like, "I'm gonna kick you out," or like, you know,

00:20:38 I mean, if somebody, I mean, looking back, looking back, was it a good use of almost

00:20:44 four years of your life to go and study computer science?

00:20:49 He never actually paid, finished paying, sorry.

00:20:58 No, I don't think it was.

00:21:00 Well, it's kind of humiliating, isn't it, to be bribed and bullied?

00:21:06 And he's like, "Well, I'll pay for the college," and of course, the logical response to that

00:21:10 is, even outside of "don't bribe me to follow your agenda," would be like, "Okay, but if

00:21:15 I can do a boot camp in six months and get a job, let's say it takes me six months to

00:21:20 get a good job after graduation, but the one thing about the boot camps, and I know some

00:21:24 people who've gone through these programming boot camps, and sometimes they're six months,

00:21:27 sometimes they're 10 months or a year or something like that, but they'll get you hired

00:21:31 pretty quick.

00:21:32 Like, they have really, really strong job placement programs, or at least they used

00:21:35 to, I'm sure that they still do.

00:21:36 So, you get an extra couple of years of work.

00:21:40 So, let's say you get a job making 40 or 50k US a year.

00:21:46 Okay, so after three years, you've grossed 150k.

00:21:49 So, even if your dad is paying, I don't know, 20k a year for you to go to school or 30k

00:21:55 a year, you're still better off.

00:21:56 You're still making more money going to the boot camp.

00:21:59 Like, he's not bribing you with anything, because you're losing money going to the

00:22:03 college, right?

00:22:04 Because you lose out on three years of income, and then that is important, because that accumulates

00:22:10 over the course of your whole life.

00:22:12 It's way more than that over time, because you get to scale up the salary with a head

00:22:19 start.

00:22:19 So, you make 50k, then 60k, then 70k or whatever it is, and that just keeps going up.

00:22:25 Whereas you graduate from computer science, maybe it takes you six months to get a job,

00:22:30 and then you make your 50k, and you're always behind.

00:22:34 And now maybe you could say, "Ah, but with the degree, you'll get further ahead."

00:22:38 But sensible people who hire want experience, not degrees.

00:22:43 Degrees are theoretical.

00:22:44 Experience is empirical.

00:22:45 So, was it a good idea to be bribed, threatened, and bullied into going into a computer science

00:22:56 degree that you didn't even finish?

00:22:58 It was not.

00:23:01 It was a very bad decision.

00:23:02 And he didn't obviously even pay for it.

00:23:04 But today-

00:23:05 Oh, sorry, I thought he said he would pay for you to go to school.

00:23:08 He said he would pay, sorry.

00:23:09 Oh, he didn't pay?

00:23:10 He did not pay.

00:23:12 Well-

00:23:13 Wait, wait, wait, hang on.

00:23:14 So, you went there, you say, "I'm going to sign up for this university," and you go there,

00:23:20 and your dad is like, "Psych!

00:23:23 I'm not paying."

00:23:23 Psych, yep.

00:23:24 So, then why did you keep going?

00:23:26 Oh, looks like he's actually calling me now.

00:23:28 Sorry about this.

00:23:32 Yeah.

00:23:32 I'm on the phone.

00:23:35 I'm not using the phone.

00:23:38 It's ironic, because we're talking about it, but I'm kind of still here.

00:23:44 Okay, so why did you keep going if he didn't even pay?

00:23:49 Wasn't that one of the central reasons to go?

00:23:52 That was one of the central reasons to go.

00:23:55 Can I have a second to think about that?

00:23:58 Dude, it's your call, man.

00:24:01 You can jump in a jacuzzi for all I care.

00:24:04 Totally fine.

00:24:05 Whatever works for you is fine with me.

00:24:06 I just have to get emotionally what I was feeling back then.

00:24:11 So, the question is, why did I go to school?

00:24:16 I guess, so, when I first two years, actually, I did really well.

00:24:22 I had, I think, 3.0 GPA, 3.4, or something like that, really high.

00:24:27 I was under the impression my dad was going to pay.

00:24:30 Everything was getting, I was thinking it was good, but then

00:24:35 he didn't pay, and then obviously my grades were bad.

00:24:40 Well, hang on, but he must have, I mean, you can't say for two years he didn't pay,

00:24:43 because someone had to pay, right?

00:24:44 Oh, okay, so you got loans and grants.

00:24:49 Okay, got it, got it.

00:24:50 Loans, yes, and I had savings, so I had $3,000, which was enough for half a semester.

00:24:57 Did your father recognize that he had promised to pay and then said,

00:25:02 "I've changed my mind," or did he say, "I never said that," or how did he not pay?

00:25:06 He made a choose because of financial circumstances.

00:25:11 Oh, okay, so I don't have the money to pay, something like that.

00:25:13 Yeah, well, yeah, basically.

00:25:15 Did it change?

00:25:16 Did he lose his job, or?

00:25:17 No, no, he was like, "Oh, the economy is bad.

00:25:21 I can't help you."

00:25:22 Okay, got it, got it.

00:25:23 Was he apologetic?

00:25:24 Nope.

00:25:26 Okay.

00:25:27 All right, so there's a power structure above what's directly in control of you,

00:25:36 right?

00:25:37 I mean, to me, that's like, "Oh, this is the teacher.

00:25:40 He's in charge.

00:25:41 He's elegantly dressed, impeccably dressed," right?

00:25:44 So he's into appearance, not substance, right?

00:25:46 And he's not even teaching you that much.

00:25:51 In a sense, you're learning horizontally because you're making arguments not with the teacher.

00:25:55 You're making arguments with your fellow students, right?

00:25:57 Okay, so he is pretty useless.

00:26:01 Like, he's not teaching you anything, and he's pretending to be an authority figure

00:26:06 when he is, in fact, a slave to, in a sense, a slave to the guy with the striped tie.

00:26:11 Do I have that right?

00:26:12 Yes, fundamentally useless, yes.

00:26:15 Okay, so you're not there for anything useful.

00:26:19 Now, when you went to university, did you learn a lot from your teachers?

00:26:25 That's useful and practical and helpful.

00:26:26 Useful, yes.

00:26:29 So actually, when I left, I had started my own software that I was working on,

00:26:34 and I learned a lot of stuff from there.

00:26:36 So I did reuse some of the stuff from my knowledge of just coding and fundamentals

00:26:42 and planning, stuff like that.

00:26:44 Okay, good, good, good.

00:26:45 All right, got it.

00:26:46 Okay, so your authority figure is, in fact, a fake slave, in a way, right?

00:26:53 The Asian teacher, right?

00:26:55 Okay, so then you go, "The next thing was me sleeping.

00:26:58 I didn't open my eyes.

00:26:59 I woke up and I see around me.

00:27:00 A lucid dream.

00:27:02 It went back to sleeping."

00:27:03 Okay, you're resting in the back of the car.

00:27:06 Not in the trunk.

00:27:09 "My shoulder was on the back window of the car.

00:27:11 My feet extended past the trunk."

00:27:12 So what does that mean?

00:27:13 It was a backward-facing seat?

00:27:15 No, no, no.

00:27:17 I was on the back of the car, because you know you can sit on top of the back of the car.

00:27:21 You can sit on top of the car.

00:27:22 Oh, the car wasn't moving, was it?

00:27:24 The car was moving.

00:27:26 Oh, so you're sitting on the roof with your feet on the back window.

00:27:30 No, no, no.

00:27:31 My shoulder is on the back window.

00:27:33 Okay, got it.

00:27:35 So you're lying on the back window, your feet going past the trunk.

00:27:37 And the car is moving forward, yes.

00:27:40 And do you remember how fast?

00:27:41 It wasn't too fast.

00:27:43 It was like a residential suburb.

00:27:45 So it was going probably like 25, or 15, 25.

00:27:50 So not too fast, but...

00:27:52 Right.

00:27:52 So I think this is about your dad, right?

00:27:57 Because this is a bad place to be on a moving car, right?

00:28:02 Sorry, I'm not sure.

00:28:06 Is it acknowledgement or agreement?

00:28:07 This is agreement, yes.

00:28:09 Okay.

00:28:09 So you're facing the wrong way, right?

00:28:14 Your life is moving forward, but you're looking backwards.

00:28:17 What that means is that your father has too much authority in your mind.

00:28:22 So rather than defining your own course, rather than being in the driver's seat,

00:28:25 you're being driven by someone else, you're in a dangerous, precarious position.

00:28:28 You could fall off if there's any sudden change, or even a slow turn could roll you off the

00:28:33 back of the car.

00:28:34 And maybe it's your father, maybe it's some other authority figure, but instead of moving

00:28:39 forward in your life by planning where you want to go based upon rational values, you're

00:28:44 sitting.

00:28:45 So you're not in control of anything, and you're facing the wrong way, right?

00:28:50 You're looking into the past.

00:28:51 You're looking at where you've been rather than where you're going.

00:28:53 Does that make sense?

00:28:53 I do, I do.

00:28:56 And does it feel like there could be value?

00:29:00 Like, I don't say it feel true, like this is some empirical thing, but...

00:29:03 It's...

00:29:08 I mean, you certainly are looking at where you've been rather than where you're going,

00:29:12 and you're not in control of where you're going.

00:29:13 That's true.

00:29:15 Can I just take another second?

00:29:18 Yeah.

00:29:18 [Pause]

00:29:22 You know, it's weird.

00:29:23 It's actually kind of frustrating, because it's almost like I know what I should do,

00:29:29 but I think I've been saving, and I have...

00:29:31 Sorry, I'm not sure.

00:29:33 We talk about the dream or life?

00:29:34 We're talking about life now.

00:29:36 Okay, sorry, go ahead.

00:29:37 Okay, I'm bringing a parallel from the...

00:29:39 I'd rather stay in the dream, if that's all right.

00:29:41 Okay, okay.

00:29:42 Because if we keep jumping from dream to life, we're never going to get the dream done.

00:29:45 Fair enough.

00:29:46 And there's a lot to go, if that makes sense.

00:29:47 Oh, and I want to correct something for the dream.

00:29:50 I'm...

00:29:50 My shoulder's on the side.

00:29:51 I'm looking, I guess, to the left, or I'm looking like the car window side.

00:29:56 [Pause]

00:29:59 Right, okay, got it, got it.

00:30:00 But you're facing the wrong way.

00:30:02 I mean, your body's facing the wrong way, right?

00:30:03 Yeah, well, it's an awkward position.

00:30:07 It's weird.

00:30:08 Okay.

00:30:08 So I'm not facing forward.

00:30:09 I'm facing, I guess, to the left.

00:30:10 Right.

00:30:11 Now, the other thing, too, is that if we say that some authority figure...

00:30:15 We'll toss your dad in there, see if it fits.

00:30:17 If... because you don't see the driver.

00:30:19 You can't see the driver, right?

00:30:20 You don't know who's driving?

00:30:21 Yeah, I can't see the driver.

00:30:24 You can't, right?

00:30:25 So you don't know who's driving?

00:30:26 I can't, I can't.

00:30:26 No, no, you're right, you're right.

00:30:27 Okay.

00:30:28 So let's say that it's your dad who's driving.

00:30:30 Okay.

00:30:32 Your dad can't see the past because of you.

00:30:35 Because you're blocking the rear view, right?

00:30:38 Like, if you try and look through the rear view mirror, you're sitting on the back window,

00:30:44 so he can't really see where he's come from because you're in the way.

00:30:49 Exactly.

00:30:51 Okay, so that's like a history thing.

00:30:52 So your dad is reenacting his past by acting it out on you so he doesn't have to deal with

00:30:58 the past, so he can't see the past because you're between him and his past.

00:31:02 I see, I see.

00:31:04 So that would be some sort of repetition thing.

00:31:07 All right.

00:31:08 So let's see here.

00:31:08 I noticed that my feet were not cold.

00:31:11 Oh, you...

00:31:13 Sorry, when he turned right, I jumped off the car.

00:31:16 I noticed that my feet were not cold walking on the snow as I didn't have any shoes.

00:31:20 All right.

00:31:22 So I'm not sure what that means yet, but we'll keep going.

00:31:24 I went back towards the opposite direction the car was going in to see if I could recognize

00:31:27 the surrounding area.

00:31:28 Okay, so this is you getting off your dad's authority, leaving your dad's authority and

00:31:34 going back to your past, I assume, or something like that.

00:31:40 Like, metaphorically, right?

00:31:42 Now, what's interesting, though, is my feet were not cold walking on the snow.

00:31:46 That's very interesting.

00:31:49 So the dreams...

00:31:52 Obviously, your dreams can make you cold, they can make you hot, they can make you anything

00:31:56 they want, because they're dreams, right?

00:31:57 So your dream is choosing to give you no sensation in your feet.

00:32:02 So, I mean, normally we don't have sensation in our feet.

00:32:11 If our feet have gone to sleep.

00:32:12 Right?

00:32:17 And there's a whole wakeful, sleepful, whole wakey-sleepy thing going on here, because

00:32:20 the beginning of this section, you're kind of lucid dreaming and you make yourself go

00:32:25 back to sleep and things like that.

00:32:26 So, I think that...

00:32:30 I mean, the feet are what connects us to the ground, right?

00:32:33 And so if your feet have gone to sleep, it's like because you're being driven around by

00:32:38 your dad, only looking at the past, not your own future, you're grounding your legs, your

00:32:44 feet, they've gone to sleep.

00:32:46 You don't have connection with the ground, you're not grounded.

00:32:49 Does that make any sense?

00:32:50 Like I'm not moving, I'm not...

00:32:53 No, no, because...

00:32:54 Like if you sit...

00:32:55 You said it was an awkward position, right?

00:32:57 So if you sit in an awkward position for a while, then your legs will go to sleep, right?

00:33:05 Like if you're sitting kind of twisted and turning, then wouldn't your blood flow and

00:33:09 all of that, your nerves, you get pinched by your hip muscles or your butt muscles or

00:33:12 your...

00:33:12 So you're kind of in an awkward position because your dad's in charge and you're not

00:33:18 just staring at the past, you're trying to turn and look to the side and maybe look ahead

00:33:22 and this has caused your legs to go to sleep.

00:33:26 Now, you can still walk, because you can still walk when your legs are asleep, right?

00:33:32 So your feet don't have any sensation walking on the snow, right?

00:33:37 Even though you don't have any shoes.

00:33:38 So your feet should feel cold, but they don't.

00:33:40 So your dream is telling you that by letting your dad drive around and by focusing more

00:33:45 on the past than your own values and future, you've gone to sleep.

00:33:51 Like you're grounding that which connects you to the earth, that which connects you

00:33:55 to reality in a sense.

00:33:56 You've gone to sleep.

00:33:58 Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.

00:33:58 Does that make sense?

00:33:59 This resonates, yeah.

00:34:00 Okay.

00:34:01 So then, let's see, I went back towards the opposite direction, Kasia, that I was walking,

00:34:05 I noticed some people at a house and asked them for help.

00:34:07 This was a group of about two to three men there and they seemed to know me.

00:34:11 They asked me what I was doing there, seeming very confused.

00:34:14 One asked why I wasn't wearing shoes.

00:34:16 I told them I have no idea.

00:34:17 Now, what is the help?

00:34:20 Do you remember the help that you were asking for?

00:34:21 I was thinking like directions, like what's going on?

00:34:27 I think just like I was going to ask them where I was and if they could either drive

00:34:33 me or call the police or something.

00:34:36 Call the police on what?

00:34:39 Just because you're lost in...

00:34:42 Yeah, I'm lost, yeah.

00:34:44 And do you have any concern that you can't feel your feet?

00:34:46 I mean, if I was walking around and I couldn't feel cold snow, I'd kind of freak out, right?

00:34:49 Because like what the hell's happened to my nerve endings?

00:34:52 No, I didn't even, oh, I can't, oh, it's not cold.

00:34:57 Okay, so they seem to know you.

00:34:59 They asked me what you're doing there, seeming very confused.

00:35:04 So that's interesting.

00:35:05 So I'm trying to think of that sort of as an analogy, right?

00:35:08 So let's say I'm in some remote location and a friend of mine shows up.

00:35:13 I'd be like, whoa, what are you doing here, right?

00:35:15 Is that sort of the feel?

00:35:18 Not for them, yes, not for me.

00:35:21 No, no, for them, yeah, for them.

00:35:22 Well, because I didn't notice them.

00:35:23 I didn't know who they were.

00:35:26 One asked why I wasn't wearing shoes.

00:35:28 I told them I have no idea.

00:35:31 So he's saying the next moment I noted three men opposite the road from us standing there

00:35:35 ominously and another set of men on the sidewalk in the left turn of the road.

00:35:39 I could feel the danger and thought I was getting ambushed, right?

00:35:43 I put pictures in there if that helps at all.

00:35:46 Yes, yes, I've seen those.

00:35:48 Okay, okay, got it.

00:35:51 So the first group is not unfriendly.

00:35:57 They seem to know you and they are inquiring in a sense as to your health or well-being,

00:36:03 like why don't you have any shoes because there's snow on the ground, right?

00:36:06 So they're relatively friendly, is that right?

00:36:09 And also you're asking them for help.

00:36:11 So they were friendly and then you have three men standing ominously, another set of men on

00:36:20 the sidewalk in the left turn of the road.

00:36:21 I could feel the danger and thought I was getting ambushed.

00:36:25 So you don't feel that the two to three men you start to talk with are allies, right?

00:36:32 Because you're still talking about singular, like they're not going to help you.

00:36:36 Because otherwise it would be like we're getting ambushed but you still feel, and I'm not saying

00:36:43 this is wrong, I just want to make sure I understand this, so you got the one set of

00:36:46 men who know you and are relatively friendly inquiring why you don't have shoes, then there's

00:36:50 two other groups of men who are hostile.

00:36:52 But you still are talking about I'm getting ambushed rather than, you know, they're here

00:36:57 to ambush the three men who know me or we're getting ambushed, but you still feel separate

00:37:04 from this, right?

00:37:05 Does that make sense?

00:37:06 Yeah, I kind of feel guilty about that, actually.

00:37:09 What do you mean?

00:37:09 I kind of feel guilty because I was like, I guess later on you'll see that they go

00:37:15 out to bat for me, but then I'm like, oh, I don't want to associate with these guys.

00:37:18 I kind of feel guilty for that.

00:37:19 Well, it's interesting because are the two ominous sets of men, are they there to ambush

00:37:28 you or do they have a pre-existing grudge with the three men who are asking you why

00:37:32 you don't have shoes?

00:37:32 I assume it was me, but I don't know.

00:37:36 But why?

00:37:38 Why would it be you?

00:37:42 Because the dreams are saying there's danger, but it also is telling you you didn't do

00:37:49 anything wrong.

00:37:50 Right?

00:37:52 You didn't say there, look, I threw an ice ball at these guys, you know, cracked them

00:37:59 on the head, it made them bleed, and now they're chasing me, right?

00:38:02 Because that would be a dream saying you're doing something wrong, right?

00:38:04 Well, that's what I was confused about.

00:38:07 I think I had made a connection to the previous philosophical discussion, and I'm like, oh,

00:38:12 maybe they're out to get me because of my moral argument, but then I tried to convince

00:38:16 myself that that wasn't the case.

00:38:17 No, no, but the dream would, if the dream said your philosophical arguments would lead

00:38:22 you to danger, then the students you were having the debate with would attack you or

00:38:27 the ceiling would cave in or, you know, the floor would open up or there would be something

00:38:31 related to that, right?

00:38:32 Yeah, that's what later on—

00:38:35 No, the dream has taken you to a different situation.

00:38:37 You're not doing anything wrong, and yet there are these people you feel they want

00:38:44 to attack you.

00:38:45 Like they're there for you, right?

00:38:48 Like they're there for me, exactly.

00:38:49 They're there for you, but you haven't done anything wrong.

00:38:52 So what that means is the people who are hostile to you and your friends are hostile because

00:38:59 they're screwed up people.

00:39:00 They're crazy, aggressive, paranoid, suspicious, hard-eyed, vicious, mean, because you haven't

00:39:08 done anything wrong, and yet you and your friends are being attacked, right?

00:39:11 Exactly.

00:39:14 No, so that's important because that means, the dream is telling you, the people in your

00:39:19 life or the people who are around who are hostile to you are not hostile to you because

00:39:23 of anything you did, but because they're screwed up people who are crazy and hostile.

00:39:28 Yeah.

00:39:28 Because they're in, like, the non-aggression principle, right?

00:39:35 The other two groups of men are the ones initiating the use of force.

00:39:41 They're threatening you, and you've done nothing to them, right?

00:39:43 I felt threatened as more aggressive—

00:39:46 No, no, I get that.

00:39:47 I get that.

00:39:48 But you have a sense of threat that is completely unrelated to your actions.

00:39:54 Yes.

00:39:57 Like, they're just dangerous predators out there, right?

00:39:59 Exactly.

00:40:01 I mean, if they were a bunch of hungry wolves, you wouldn't take it personally.

00:40:04 Well, I offended the wolf leader by talking about philosophy, right?

00:40:07 You'd be just like, "Oh, there's some dangerous wolves," but it wouldn't be anything because

00:40:10 you did anything bad other than being a meat puppet they wanted to eat, right?

00:40:13 Yes, yes.

00:40:15 Okay.

00:40:16 So, I could feel the danger and thought I was getting ambushed.

00:40:20 The guys also noticed and said they had weapons stored in a van just up the road.

00:40:24 We discreetly moved to the van, hoping we didn't get attacked.

00:40:27 They opened the van and each picked up a set of rifles and guns.

00:40:31 I went around the back of the car and didn't take any guns.

00:40:33 I was planning to hide in case of a gunfight.

00:40:35 In anticipation of an attack, the guys were in the front left of the van on the sidewalk.

00:40:41 Now, the guys, are these your friends?

00:40:42 Uh, the guys with the guns.

00:40:47 Or, well, we went over—

00:40:49 They're waiting for the attack, is that right?

00:40:50 They're anticipating the attack.

00:40:53 Well, this is where I was trying to disassociate from them.

00:40:56 So, I guess I would call it—

00:40:57 Because it's not your fight!

00:40:58 Yeah.

00:41:00 Do you see what I mean?

00:41:01 Yeah.

00:41:03 I mean, these are the guys, if I get this right, they live in the neighborhood.

00:41:08 Yeah, there's some people at a house.

00:41:09 You don't know this neighborhood.

00:41:11 You have no history with this neighborhood.

00:41:12 So, if there are guys who want to attack your friends, what does that have to do with you?

00:41:23 It's not your fight.

00:41:24 You didn't do anything wrong.

00:41:26 Maybe they've got—

00:41:27 Maybe this is a crime gang, two crime gangs or something, or whatever it is.

00:41:31 But it's not your fight.

00:41:32 So, why would you fight?

00:41:34 I mean, one of the most essential things in the modern world—

00:41:40 Honestly, I wrestle with this sometimes on a daily basis.

00:41:43 What is my fight and what is not my fight?

00:41:45 What am I going to risk life and limb for?

00:41:49 Or reputation, such as it is left?

00:41:52 What is my fight?

00:41:53 What is not—

00:41:53 And I'm not trying to make this about me.

00:41:55 Yeah.

00:41:56 But you don't have any—

00:41:57 You've never—

00:41:58 They know you, but you don't know them.

00:42:01 They haven't shown you any particular virtues.

00:42:05 They're just trying to get you into a fight of theirs.

00:42:09 So, they have a bunch of guns in a van, right?

00:42:14 Is that good, guys?

00:42:16 Well, I almost saw it as like they were trying to protect me from the other guys.

00:42:21 Like, "Oh, shoot, one of our guys is being attacked.

00:42:23 We got to protect them," kind of thing.

00:42:25 Well, I get that.

00:42:27 I get that.

00:42:27 But there's no evidence of that in the dream.

00:42:31 It's a feeling you have, right?

00:42:34 Exactly.

00:42:36 Because otherwise, if the dream wanted to say,

00:42:40 "These are your allies that you should fight for,"

00:42:42 then you would be attacked for some reason based on virtue.

00:42:48 Like, if I were your dream machine in your brain,

00:42:51 and I wanted to give you that, then I would say,

00:42:53 "Okay, you talk about reason and evidence in the classroom.

00:42:56 Your classmates get angry.

00:42:58 They start to attack you.

00:42:59 You run.

00:43:00 There's a bunch of people there who are your friends.

00:43:02 They hide you.

00:43:03 You set up posts.

00:43:04 The people who attacked you because you made some arguments get really violent,

00:43:08 and then you fight back."

00:43:09 Like, it would be something where you did something right.

00:43:11 You got attacked for your virtues, and then people were genuinely helping you.

00:43:15 And that would be the situation where, of course, you'd fight, right?

00:43:20 But that's—and remember, the dream can do anything.

00:43:23 The dream is like a magic holodeck.

00:43:25 It can do absolutely anything.

00:43:27 So why is it doing this?

00:43:28 Why?

00:43:32 Now, also, the men who are sitting at the house and asking you about your shoes, right?

00:43:41 They are choosing to stay in a violent neighborhood.

00:43:49 And we know that because they're well-armed, right?

00:43:53 Yeah, they had the guns and the—

00:43:55 Yeah, so they are choosing a situation of violence.

00:44:00 So it's kind of like these people who stay in a really bad neighborhood.

00:44:03 You know, "Oh, my car keeps getting broken into, and, you know, bullets keep flying

00:44:08 through my windows."

00:44:08 It's like, "Move!"

00:44:09 Is there anyone you know in your life, maybe in your family,

00:44:17 who is staying in a dangerous situation where they, I mean, obviously have choice and option?

00:44:24 Me?

00:44:26 I think I'd be the guy.

00:44:27 Anyone in my life who's staying in a dangerous situation.

00:44:30 I think it's only like me, because I'm the only one who has, I guess,

00:44:36 the philosophical knowledge to know that it's a dangerous situation.

00:44:40 Okay, all right.

00:44:44 So if people choose to stay in a dangerous situation—

00:44:50 So this comes down to the stuff that's kind of floating around in the media these days,

00:44:53 which is, you know, you can see this happening in a bunch of different areas where people are

00:44:59 being menaced by some dangerous, crazy guy.

00:45:02 Some guy steps in and tries to help and then gets charged, right?

00:45:06 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:45:07 Yeah, we've seen this a bunch of times, right?

00:45:09 So unfortunately, you know, people are—

00:45:12 and of course, this is all designed to give the criminals more power, this and that.

00:45:15 But of course, it's the question of, if a woman is being threatened by her long-term boyfriend,

00:45:24 do you intervene?

00:45:27 Not in that situation, because obviously it's long-term, right?

00:45:31 So she's had plenty of time to leave.

00:45:33 Yeah, if it's some little old lady being threatened by some guy she doesn't know,

00:45:37 that's a different matter.

00:45:39 But if someone has put themselves and stayed in a dangerous situation,

00:45:44 do we attempt to save them at risk to ourselves from the danger they have chosen to go in and

00:45:51 stay in?

00:45:51 So if this woman has a violent long-term boyfriend, and you know, what's that song?

00:45:57 "And your brother's gonna kill me and he's six feet ten" or whatever, right?

00:46:01 So if she's got some big, big, giant, dangerous, crazy boyfriend, and he's threatening her,

00:46:08 what do you do?

00:46:09 Well, is it your fight?

00:46:12 Right, and of course, everyone's heard of the scenario where you try to protect

00:46:19 a woman from her dangerous boyfriend, and they both end up beating you up.

00:46:22 Yeah, there was a situation where a guy was in a club and they're arguing,

00:46:28 a guy hits his girl, and then a guy steps in and the guy gets shot,

00:46:31 and then him and his girl that he hit leave the club together.

00:46:33 Yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure.

00:46:36 Yeah, I mean, there's a movie "Barfly" with Mickey Rourke, where he tries to intervene

00:46:42 with some couple that's half-killing each other in the next hotel room, and they both turn on him.

00:46:46 So, and I mean, COVID has, I mean, really, really brought this to the forefront, because

00:46:55 there are a lot of people who wanted to fine, jail, you know, the unvaccinated,

00:47:04 strip them of their rights, and if the vaccinated are having health issues, it's like,

00:47:09 you know, I mean, sympathy, not sympathy, I mean, it's complicated, right? It's complicated.

00:47:15 Yeah, I think my dad was one of those people, yeah.

00:47:18 Oh, he wanted the unvaccinated to lose their rights?

00:47:20 Well, he definitely wanted me to get vaccinated.

00:47:28 Right, right. And so, you have stepped into a gang war here, where the people who know you

00:47:41 are part of the equation. They're not victims, because they're living in a house where the bad

00:47:49 guys know that they're there. They also know that violence is coming, because they have all of the

00:47:54 weapons in the van, right?

00:47:56 Exactly, the guns in the van.

00:47:58 Yeah, so, they're not victims, they're not helpless, they're not, I don't know,

00:48:02 innocent or not, it doesn't really matter, because rather than flee a neighborhood of violence,

00:48:09 they have instead armed themselves to the teeth. Does that make sense?

00:48:17 Yeah, I'm seeing some parallels to myself, I guess.

00:48:21 Oh, so we'll get there in a sec. I just want to finish, we're almost at the end of the dream,

00:48:24 right? So, the guys are noticing, and rather than leave the neighborhood, like, they could get in

00:48:30 the van and drive away, because the other guys are on foot, right?

00:48:33 On foot.

00:48:35 Right. So, your "friends" or the people who know you, they're not really your friends, but,

00:48:39 so the people who know you, they have a van. And again, the guns could be anywhere,

00:48:44 the guns could be in the basement, the guns could be in the attic, the guns could be

00:48:47 hidden on their person, right? No, the dream puts them in a van, which is a place of mobility, right?

00:48:54 So, rather than get in the van and drive away, they are arming themselves to engage.

00:49:01 Which is the basic question, right? Fight or flight? It's the basic question in life,

00:49:09 when you have an enemy, do you fight or do you leave? I mean, the law is fairly clear,

00:49:15 and in many places, other places, there's a, you know, no retreat, near the castle doctrine, but

00:49:21 in general, the law is like, if you have the chance to leave, but instead, you shoot the guy,

00:49:27 you're in pretty legally questionable territory, as far as I know. Again, I'm no lawyer,

00:49:32 but that's sort of my understanding, right? If you're at a club, and some guy comes in and says,

00:49:38 "Hey, where's you, whatever your name is, and I'm going to beat him up," and then there's a back

00:49:44 exit to the club, and the bouncer says, "Hey man, you know, come out through the back here,

00:49:50 I'll escort you to the cab and just leave," right? And you have the option to leave,

00:49:55 but instead, you turn and belt the guy or get into a fight, right? Then, it's interesting,

00:50:03 I don't, again, I don't know about the law, as it probably changes from place to place, but

00:50:06 it's not as simple as if you're cornered, right? So, these guys have the option to leave, and

00:50:14 the fact that they have their guns in the van means that they've always had the option to leave,

00:50:18 but instead, they're fighting, which means they prefer...

00:50:21 They're ready to fight.

00:50:22 Sorry?

00:50:22 I said, they're ready to fight, right? They want to fight, they want to fight.

00:50:25 Well, yeah, because they've armed themselves up when they have a van, which is a way to leave,

00:50:31 right? I mean, and it has been a way to... they board a van, the van is parked nearby,

00:50:36 and these menacing people are around, and they're staying, and they're choosing to fight. So,

00:50:41 what this means, I think, for the most part, is there may be people in your life

00:50:46 that are choosing to fight over flight. So, I mean, with regards to my own family,

00:50:57 I mean, it's not exactly flight, but I chose, like my family of origin, I chose to stop fighting

00:51:02 with them, right? I'm not fighting with them. It's the same thing with relationships, right?

00:51:09 Where I'm just reading this post, you know, these green texts and non-posts or whatever it was,

00:51:15 and it was like, you know, it's my birthday, my girlfriend is starting some stupid fight,

00:51:19 you know, something clicks within me, and I just immediately block her on everything and

00:51:22 never talk to her again. Now, is that flight? I don't know, but that definitely is not fighting.

00:51:30 And I think most people, if you've had a breakup that's due to some recurring conflict,

00:51:38 what happens is you just fight, and you know, if you're down, then there's conflicts and

00:51:41 disagreements in relationships, fine. But it's like, no, I'm tired of fighting,

00:51:48 I'm bored of fighting, I don't want to fight, it's pointless, it goes nowhere,

00:51:52 it's, you know, breaking my heart every day, I'm out, right?

00:51:55 Exactly.

00:51:58 So, maybe there's people in your life who are choosing conflict over escape.

00:52:06 And maybe you're one of those people, I don't know, but these men, they don't have to fight,

00:52:10 they have a van, they could leave, they could leave any time. But instead, they've chosen to

00:52:15 fight. Now, you say, "I was planning to hide in case of a gunfight." And you said you feel

00:52:21 some guilt about that?

00:52:22 Yes.

00:52:23 Why?

00:52:24 I do. Well, I mean, I kind of abandoned them when they could have—when the police came,

00:52:32 there was—

00:52:34 No, no, no, no, no, I was planning to hide in case of a gunfight. This is before the police come.

00:52:39 Yes, so I was—

00:52:41 So, let's not talk about the police yet. So, is it—do you have, like, the tough guy thing,

00:52:45 it's like, "Grab a gun, kid, we're gonna fight," and you're like, "Okay, I don't know you people,

00:52:50 but yes," right? Like, disposable male stuff.

00:52:52 Maybe not like that, but they were, like, gonna help me, and I don't know.

00:52:57 Were they gonna help you? They didn't indicate that.

00:52:59 They just asked you—

00:53:03 They just asked you why you didn't have any shoes.

00:53:04 They were friendly enough that I thought, "Okay, they're probably gonna call the police,

00:53:13 or they're gonna help me," and stuff like that. And then these guys showed up,

00:53:16 so I'm like, "Okay, these guys showed up."

00:53:19 Again, the dream could have had all of that happen, but it didn't.

00:53:21 Right? So, we have—the empiricism is the dream. The dream can be anything.

00:53:30 Right? I remember there's a play by Ayn Rand called The Night of January 16th,

00:53:35 or something like that, and the bad guy's in a wheelchair, and people are like, "Well,

00:53:39 you shouldn't make the bad guy in a wheelchair, because that's indicating that

00:53:42 a physical disability is a moral disability." And I remember the defenders of Ayn Rand saying,

00:53:47 "Oh, it doesn't matter, it was diverse," and it's like, "No, no, it matters, because in a play,

00:53:51 there's absolutely no reason to have a character in a wheelchair. That's a choice.

00:53:58 That's a choice. Everything in a play is a choice, and the author is responsible for

00:54:02 those choices." And so, it does matter, right? It is an analogy for something.

00:54:08 I mean, if you make the good guy in a wheelchair, you're saying very clearly that physical disability

00:54:15 can still have—like, somebody who's in a wheelchair can still be a moral hero,

00:54:19 and you're saying that physical disability doesn't really matter. But the other way—so,

00:54:23 the dream is a complete blank slate. So, your feeling that people might help you

00:54:28 should not give you loyalty to the point where you're going to take a bullet through the head.

00:54:35 So, it might mean that you're way too prone to grabbing at companionship, loyalty, friendship.

00:54:44 Maybe you're a little desperate, maybe a little lonely, maybe a little isolated,

00:54:49 but it's like someone's nice to you. "Hey, where are your shoes? Why do you have your shoes on?

00:54:54 I'm going to need you to risk your life in a gun battle." "Well, he was nice to me, okay."

00:54:58 Do you see what I mean? I do.

00:55:02 I mean, this is where sometimes the mindless soldiering comes from, right?

00:55:09 There's a flag! Okay. I'll get my legs blown off.

00:55:15 Maybe this is this. I'm not sure if it changes anything, but I think the guilt was more when I

00:55:20 woke up or when I was waking up, because I made myself wake up, and I realized that when I was

00:55:25 looking at my past actions, this is when I felt guilt because I abandoned them. I think in the

00:55:29 time I was afraid, and then I was thinking, "Oh, I got to get out of here. I can't stay with these

00:55:33 guys." But then when I was waking up— Also, when you wake up, it's interesting,

00:55:37 because in the beginning of the dream, you're looking backwards, and that's bad. And then you

00:55:41 wake up, you look backwards at the dream, and you feel bad. Like, the dream is having you looking

00:55:46 backwards by sitting on the rear seat of your—or the rear window of your car, maybe your father's

00:55:51 car. And then when you wake up, you look backwards, and that's bad, too, right? You look back at the

00:55:57 dream. Yeah.

00:56:00 Because of course you're going to hide in case of a gunfight. I mean, think of this in the real

00:56:04 world, right? You're in some unknown neighborhood. Some people say, "Hey, why don't you have any

00:56:09 shoes?" And then people start menacing them, and they give you a gun. Like, what would you do in

00:56:14 the real world? I've never shot a gun, so I don't know.

00:56:17 No, I get that. But would you join in some gunfights with people you didn't know?

00:56:22 Part of me hopes I would, but I— God, why?

00:56:26 Because if they wanted to protect you— Let's go in the reason of the dream, right?

00:56:38 If these people wanted to protect you from being menaced, and they got you to a van,

00:56:42 what would they do? They would get in and drive away.

00:56:47 Yeah, drive you away. They'd call the cops, right? Drive away. So they're not protecting you.

00:56:53 They're drawing you into a gun battle. In the dream, right?

00:56:57 Exactly. So why would you—I mean, this is a really important question. In the real world,

00:57:06 if some crazy scenario like this happened, you'd be like, "Well, I hope I would join in the gun

00:57:10 battle." Why? First of all, you said you'd never shot a gun, so you don't even know what you're

00:57:14 doing in particular, right? But why would you feel the urge or the need to get involved

00:57:20 in a gun battle with people you didn't even know?

00:57:23 Why do I want to get into gun battle with them?

00:57:29 No, it's not that you want to get into a gun battle, otherwise you'd be seeking it out. But

00:57:34 if the situation happened— Why do I feel guilty that I—

00:57:37 So the dream is saying that you lack some elemental principle of self-protection,

00:57:42 which means you value yourself too little.

00:57:46 You value yourself too little. You have—the instinct of self-preservation has been carved out

00:57:59 and replaced with loyalty to strangers or—

00:58:03 Yeah.

00:58:07 Because a gun battle goes badly no matter what.

00:58:10 Right? Because there are police in this world, right? It's not some,

00:58:15 I don't know, crazy Mad Max scenario, right? So how does a gun battle work? Well, either

00:58:21 you're going to get shot, which is really bad, you're going to get killed, which is even worse,

00:58:26 or let's say you shoot people, right? Then what?

00:58:30 Then you spend years and years battling

00:58:41 legal problems, to put it mildly, right?

00:58:46 Exactly.

00:58:48 So it's one thing—if the dream has, you know, here's your beloved wife and child,

00:58:55 and people are coming in through the window, and right, maybe you have to act in self-defense,

00:58:59 like, but the dream isn't doing that. The dream is saying,

00:59:01 "Look, idiot, why would you have loyalty to strangers to the point

00:59:06 where you would destroy your life or get killed?

00:59:09 People just have to be this nice to you? Hey, why don't you have any shoes on?

00:59:15 I will be loyal to you until the death."

00:59:17 Like, what?

00:59:19 I think you might be right when you first said, I was like,

00:59:23 I don't know, maybe an art macho man thing, where it's like, oh, you gotta—I

00:59:28 think maybe that's what it is. Like, my self-preservation has been replaced with

00:59:34 not self-sacrifice, but it's like the idea that you're with the guys and you gotta fight.

00:59:42 Well, maybe if it's your guys and lifelong friends,

00:59:45 so what? These are just guys you ran into after you jumped off the car.

00:59:49 Exactly.

00:59:53 And they, are they loyal to you? No, because if they were loyal to you,

01:00:02 they'd drive away, so they're drawing you into their game of deadly violence.

01:00:06 They're not loyal to you. If they were loyal to you, they'd put you in the van and say,

01:00:12 "We're out of here. We're gonna drive to the police station," right?

01:00:15 Mm-hmm.

01:00:15 So they're drawing you into a battle and they're endangering you,

01:00:20 and you didn't do anything wrong. So they're actually harmful to you, but you're loyal to

01:00:26 them, right? Come on, this is a family thing, isn't it? They're harmful to you, but you're

01:00:30 loyal to them.

01:00:30 Yeah, I think it is.

01:00:36 I think it is.

01:00:41 But I'm not... well, I'm still here, so I mean...

01:00:45 Well, okay. It's a dream, so the dream is saying that you have loyalty

01:00:53 to people who put you in harm's way. You have loyalty to people who put you in danger.

01:00:56 Yes, yes.

01:00:58 All right, so let's get to the end.

01:01:04 In the distance, I could see a police car coming down the road. The car was a very expensive car

01:01:10 with the police lights on top of it. Lambo, maybe, right? The guys hit their guns so as to not get

01:01:15 caught, and I hoped the car would just pass us by. Now, that's crazy. And again, I don't mean crazy

01:01:24 in the dream. The dreams all have a logic to them. But in the real world,

01:01:27 you would flag down the police, right? And you would say, "Holy crap, these guys are menacing

01:01:33 us," and all of that. So why don't you... and you said, "I hope they call the police." Now

01:01:37 the police are here, and you're hoping that they don't stop or notice or... So now you don't want

01:01:45 the police protection that you very much wanted before, right? Well, my friends have weapons...

01:01:50 They're not your friends! Oh, I mean, these guys...

01:01:54 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the guys you first met, right?

01:01:57 So if... I guess if the police comes and they're going to get arrested, then obviously I'm going

01:02:01 to get arrested because I'm associated with them. Why would that be automatic?

01:02:07 Because if they were your friends, they'd say, "No, this guy just came down the street.

01:02:12 We brought him to the van. He didn't know what was going on. He has no ownership. We don't know him

01:02:18 very well. He has no ownership in these guns, right? And you're there with no shoes on, and

01:02:23 like, so you wouldn't get arrested. I mean, you might get arrested, but you wouldn't...

01:02:28 It would seem unlikely that you would get charged. Now, of course, if the dream had you fire off a

01:02:33 couple of shots and then there's a smoking gun in your hand, then that would be a different...

01:02:37 But the dream doesn't do that. You're just hiding in the back.

01:02:40 So again, I'm no lawyer, I'm no policeman, but my understanding is that if someone is,

01:02:49 let's say they're drugged and they're disoriented, and they just end up around in a gunfight,

01:02:58 they don't get charged. Well, I was afraid. I was afraid that they would come and arrest

01:03:03 them and arrest me and associate us all together. Well, but that would only be the case if your

01:03:10 friends, your friends, I know I just said they weren't your friends, but we'll just call them

01:03:14 that for now because we got three groups of people now with the police four, right?

01:03:17 So your "friends" that you would only get arrested and charged if they lied about you.

01:03:24 Because if they said this guy just wandered down the street and he's got no part of this,

01:03:30 doesn't own any guns, we kind of half dragged him to the van and he never picked up a weapon,

01:03:36 right? Then you'd be okay, right? So the only reason you'd be in danger is if your friends

01:03:42 weren't your friends, which we kind of know because they're getting you involved or trying

01:03:47 to get you involved in a gunfight when they could just drive away or not be in that neighborhood to

01:03:51 begin with. Well, exactly. Okay, so the only reason you're frightened is because you think

01:03:59 that they're not your friends and that they will lie to get you dragged into a dire legal situation.

01:04:07 That makes sense. That makes a lot of sense. So you have loyalty to people who want to harm you,

01:04:16 but it's why you're scared. Now you're scared of the, in the beginning you wanted the police,

01:04:20 you still haven't done anything wrong, right? What have you done? These guys are like, "Hey,

01:04:28 we're going to take you to a van." They don't say, "We're going to take you to a van,

01:04:31 give you a gun and you're going to shoot people." They're like, "Yeah, I mean, if there's dangerous

01:04:36 people around and people are like, 'Hey, we're going to a van,' and be like, 'Yeah, let's get

01:04:38 out of here,' right?" And then they, "No, we're going to fight," right? That's what they say

01:04:43 in the dream, right? Yeah, they said, "We have weapons in the van." But at this point you didn't

01:04:49 want to stay with the sinister people, right, around. But you were going to hide. You're not

01:04:55 going to fight. I was going to hide while they were fighting. Right, okay. So, "The car was a

01:05:02 very expensive car with the police lights on top. Lambo. The guys hid their guns, not to get caught.

01:05:06 The car turned into the driveway in front of the van and I tried to distance myself from the other

01:05:10 guys. I had a thought that I would be put in jail because I'd be associated with them. Then because

01:05:14 I didn't want to go to jail, I made myself wake up." Right. So the dream is saying, "You're in

01:05:20 danger. You're loyal to people who are harmful to you and you better wake the fuck up."

01:05:26 Like the physical act of waking up from a dream is the dream telling you to wake up in your life.

01:05:33 You have all this loyalty to people who are endangering you.

01:05:41 [silence]

01:05:50 Or putting you in significant risk. The only reason I don't know is why the car is a Lambo.

01:05:56 It was an expensive car. Yeah, something. But that's not, obviously, that's nothing

01:06:01 that would be a police car, right? Well, yeah, it was not a normal police car. It was an expensive

01:06:06 car and it had police sirens on it. Right. Maybe your loyalty to people who are dangerous to you

01:06:16 is keeping you from wealth. Maybe it's not a real police car because in the real world,

01:06:21 if you saw a Lamborghini with flashing lights on top, you'd simply assume it was some half-brained

01:06:27 dead scammers who just wanted to pull you over so they could harm you, right?

01:06:32 I definitely felt that I was going to jail. I definitely thought, "Okay, oh man, the police

01:06:38 are here." I definitely felt that they were the police. I didn't think they were. It's just that

01:06:42 the car was an expensive car. Well, it's a detail. Maybe it's something to do with business. I don't

01:06:48 know. It's not hugely important to get that detail, but it is a detail that means something.

01:06:54 I just don't know what it means because maybe it's something more personal to you.

01:06:59 But yeah, I would say that the dream is like, "Okay, you have loyalty to people who are going

01:07:03 to do you harm and it's very dangerous." Okay. I don't think I have loyalty though.

01:07:10 Okay. How's your relationship with your dad?

01:07:15 Bad. I mean, I tell him all the truths.

01:07:22 Yeah. You tell him your frustrations or the things that you're upset about and what happens?

01:07:28 Exactly. Well, when I was younger, he would get like, he would shout, but now I'm a lot bigger.

01:07:33 He kind of has to tame that down a bit.

01:07:38 Okay. So, you're engaging in a battle that you don't need to engage in, just like this dream?

01:07:45 Exactly.

01:07:48 Okay. Have you had any successful or satisfying conversations with your father about your issues?

01:07:57 No.

01:07:58 Okay. So, why do you continue to engage with your father when you've had, I assume,

01:08:05 many or some conversations, none of which have ever been successful or satisfying?

01:08:10 Now, I don't, I guess I talked consistently. So, yeah, we don't talk consistently. It's more like,

01:08:23 oh, I got hello, but that's, yeah, we don't talk at all consistently or anything like that.

01:08:33 You know, that's the complete dodge, right?

01:08:35 Yes.

01:08:36 That's fine. I'm not saying you have to answer this, but it's a question

01:08:39 I think that's important to answer.

01:08:42 Good catch.

01:08:43 Did your father, by promising, and he threatened to kick you out if you didn't go to university,

01:08:49 right?

01:08:50 Yes. It was a carrot and a stick.

01:08:52 Right. So, if you pursued the education that would actually have been best for you,

01:08:56 then he was going to kick you out on the street, right?

01:09:00 Yes. And I was, I would, yes, yes.

01:09:04 No, no, hang on. So, by listening to your father, by obeying your father because of his

01:09:12 threats and bribes, and in fact, the bribe never materialized, did he do you harm

01:09:20 by having you spend almost four years pursuing a degree you never finished?

01:09:26 Yes. Yes.

01:09:28 Okay. So, people who you think are your allies but are actually doing you harm

01:09:33 would be something like that, right? I mean, honestly, as a father, like, I can't comprehend,

01:09:40 like, my brain doesn't even, like, even in my imagination, I can't comprehend

01:09:46 threatening to my child that if you don't pursue the educational course that I want you to,

01:09:51 then I'm kicking you out on the street.

01:09:53 No, obviously, I'm not.

01:09:55 Were you still a teenager when he was saying this?

01:09:57 I was still a teenager, but I mean, obviously, I have some responsibility there as well, but

01:10:01 obviously, it was not a...

01:10:02 So, you have some responsibility, what do you mean?

01:10:04 Like, I think I could have let, I just...

01:10:10 No, no, no, no, I wasn't talking about you, I was talking about your dad, right?

01:10:14 Yes, yes.

01:10:14 So, this is another dodge, right? This is another block. So, we're talking about your dad,

01:10:17 and you're like, "Oh, but my responsibility." It's like, I'm not talking about your responsibility,

01:10:20 I'm saying as a father. Like, let's say, I was talking to my daughter just today about, you know,

01:10:28 I said, you know, "You'd be a crackerjack lawyer." And she's like, "Oh, well, why? Why would I be?"

01:10:35 And I said, "Because you have an incredibly instinctual grasp of contradictions

01:10:40 and hypocrisies, and, you know, like, it happens in a flash, right away." And I said, "Also,

01:10:45 because we've done a lot of Dungeons & Dragons and role-playing, you absolutely know how to use

01:10:50 a structure of rules to your advantage within the bounds of the rules, and that's kind of like the

01:10:55 law, right?" So, you know, I said, and we talked about being a lawyer. Now, do I want her to be

01:11:01 a lawyer? No, not particularly, but I know she'd be a great one. And the reason I don't want to

01:11:09 tell her what I want for her, because that would interfere with her choosing for herself. Now,

01:11:16 of course, if she wants advice, I'll give you advice. And so, we talked about the law and

01:11:20 being a lawyer and all of that kind of stuff, as far as I've known it.

01:11:23 But the idea that I would say to my daughter when she was 18, "Either you go to law school,

01:11:32 or I have no daughter. I'm kicking you out, severing our relationship. I'm sure that there

01:11:39 was something involved in that as well, right? Like, either you go to law school, or you become

01:11:44 a lawyer, and I'll pay for it, but if you don't become a lawyer, I'm changing the locks on the

01:11:49 house." Like, I can't tell you how completely incomprehensible and weird and wicked that is

01:12:01 as a parent. I mean, I assume if he kicked you out of the house,

01:12:12 what would happen to your relationship? Like, if he'd followed through on that at 18 or whatever,

01:12:19 he'd kicked you out of the house, would that have been it for your relationship?

01:12:23 I mean, does he then just come over and say, "Hey, how's it going? Let's go for brunch."

01:12:27 Well, yeah, that would have been it. I think—

01:12:29 Okay, so he literally is severing his entire parental bond and removing

01:12:35 you as a dependent, and throwing you out to the walls of the wide world,

01:12:42 and completely ending his relationship with you if you don't

01:12:48 go do a four-year degree, and then he doesn't even pay for it.

01:12:52 Yeah.

01:12:55 I mean, do you really understand at a gut level how wicked and wretched that is as a parent?

01:13:04 Imagine doing this to your own son.

01:13:09 No, not quite.

01:13:11 Your own son is—maybe he's good at a sport, but he doesn't really, really like it, and you say,

01:13:16 "Hey, man, you're 18 years old. If you don't play basketball as a career,

01:13:24 I'm tossing you out on your ass, blocking your number, and we will never,

01:13:30 ever have any contact again in the future."

01:13:32 I think that's a little heartbreaking.

01:13:36 It's not a little heartbreaking. It's insane, except without the moral ambiguity of true insanity.

01:13:45 I mean, imagine if I said on a show, "Oh, yeah, my daughter didn't want to do the education I

01:13:53 wanted for her, so she's out on the street somewhere. I don't know what's happened to

01:13:57 her, but I'm not talking to her again." What would you think?

01:13:59 Terrible person. Terrible.

01:14:03 Right.

01:14:04 Damn. Okay, well—

01:14:07 And this is what I mean by a lack of self-preservation, a lack of self-protection.

01:14:13 Ultimatums, unless quickly retracted and massively apologized for,

01:14:18 ultimatums are the end of the relationship.

01:14:21 Because an ultimatum, "Do this or else we have no relationship,"

01:14:30 that is already the end. Then you have no relationship.

01:14:33 Yes, I would agree.

01:14:38 It's like if some guy says to a girl, "Go out with me or I slash the tires of your car. Go

01:14:48 out with me or I steal your cat. Go out with me or the fire might suddenly strike your house."

01:14:54 You understand, it's not a date. Even if she complies, it's not a date. It's not romantic.

01:15:01 She's just trapped and cornered and bullied and controlled. And of course, all of that is illegal.

01:15:08 Right? It should be.

01:15:10 That's kind of how I felt.

01:15:12 And what did your mom say? There's no women in this dream.

01:15:21 Well, my mom's the same.

01:15:25 Oh, so your mom agrees with your dad that you should be cut off if you don't pursue the

01:15:30 education they think you should?

01:15:34 Well, she doesn't. Okay, sorry. I'll need a second to... Oh my God. I'll need a second.

01:15:44 Because the reason I'm saying this is sometimes what's missing in the dream

01:15:48 is the most important thing. And there's no females here. I mean, maybe in the classroom,

01:15:55 but there's no females in your dream at all. It's an exclusively male world.

01:16:02 And yet you have a mother. So where's she in the dream?

01:16:04 Well, she was more, I think, abusive in that sense than my dad was. Sorry,

01:16:09 what was the question? Let me get back to the question. The question was,

01:16:12 what word was my mom in this situation?

01:16:14 Yeah, where was your mom when your dad was threatening to cut you off if you didn't go to

01:16:18 a four-year CS degree?

01:16:19 She was just there.

01:16:23 Does that make sense or no?

01:16:30 Ah, shit. Maybe she's the police.

01:16:34 What do you mean?

01:16:38 I don't know. I have no idea what I mean. Does your mother dress expensively? Does she have

01:16:43 expensive taste? Does she present herself with expensive clothing, expensive hairdo,

01:16:49 expensive car, expensive purse? Does she have anything like that?

01:16:52 She wears wigs and stuff like that.

01:16:57 You wear what?

01:16:58 I don't know how much they cost though. Sorry?

01:17:01 You said she wears what? I didn't…

01:17:03 Wigs. Wigs. She wears those kind of stuff. I don't know how much they cost though.

01:17:07 Okay, but I assume that your parents are really into status.

01:17:09 Status, yes. Very much.

01:17:11 So they're really into status because that's why they wanted you to get the four-year degree, right?

01:17:14 Yes.

01:17:16 Right. So you know what's high status is a Lambo.

01:17:19 Oh, that's why the car… So you're policed by status. Okay. Yeah,

01:17:27 that's why the car was expensive. So the enforcers here are status. You would be cut

01:17:33 off if you didn't serve your parents' status. You don't exist if you don't serve your parents'

01:17:37 status. You don't exist. You're dead to them. They have no son. If you don't serve their ego,

01:17:41 they're vanity. And that's why the cop car was very expensive because it's a status car and it's

01:17:46 the rules enforcer.

01:17:48 That makes sense.

01:17:52 Sorry, that was blindingly obvious in hindsight.

01:17:55 Well, because now I'm understanding more about… or not more about… now that I understand,

01:18:03 I'm thinking… because my parents were all really about status. My dad was, I think,

01:18:07 during elementary school, he was some chairman of something, something back in elementary school.

01:18:16 So he's always been like the status kind of thing.

01:18:18 When you were in elementary school?

01:18:20 When I was in elementary school, he had like a…

01:18:24 So if you don't serve their ego, you have no value to them as a child. If you don't serve

01:18:29 their status, they don't want to have anything to do with you. Like you're dead to them if you're

01:18:33 not serving their vanity, right?

01:18:34 Yes, yes.

01:18:38 So if you're not loyal to people who do you harm, you go to jail, right? So if you're not loyal to

01:18:46 your parents who are doing you harm, then you have no family. You go to jail. You're ostracized,

01:18:52 right? If you don't serve the super expensive police car of vanity, it's all over.

01:19:00 Yeah.

01:19:02 And you got to wake up to that.

01:19:03 Well, tell me what you think of this. So I've been listening to you, at least for some time,

01:19:11 I'm embarrassed to say, because my… I guess the situation is not quite nice, but I've been

01:19:18 listening to you for a long time, since I guess high school, actually. And I've been… I guess I've

01:19:26 told my parents a lot of the things that they did. In my mind, I'm like, "Okay, I've disassociated

01:19:33 myself from them in my own mind, in my own… I've been doing some work, saving some money,

01:19:38 obviously doing that, and planning to leave on my own." But I don't think I'm loyal is what I'm

01:19:45 trying to say. Go on.

01:19:51 That it makes sense or…

01:19:54 I'm not sure what we mean by the word "loyal" here.

01:19:57 I don't think I would cover for them or say like, "Oh no, they were good parents," or I would say

01:20:02 that they were… I don't think I would die for them or anything like… I don't think I'm loyal to

01:20:11 them.

01:20:14 Well, but dreams are not about the past, fundamentally. They're about the future.

01:20:17 And the dream, I think, is warning you that you have a susceptibility to be loyal

01:20:25 to people who give you any scrap of affection when they're actually endangering you.

01:20:30 Okay, okay.

01:20:34 And if you're an entrepreneur, that's important, right? You're going to have partners, customers,

01:20:42 bankers, investors, like all these people, right? And they might recognize this susceptibility. "Oh,

01:20:47 if I show this guy some scraps of affection, he'll go to war with me.

01:20:51 Not against me, but he'll be my ally," right?

01:20:56 What's your dating life like?

01:21:00 Non-existent.

01:21:09 Are you dating? So you don't date, right?

01:21:12 I don't date. Well, I do talk, but that's…

01:21:15 Sorry, what do you mean by talk?

01:21:18 Just talk. So I'll ask about their family, their situation, stuff like that.

01:21:23 Ask who?

01:21:24 And that's about… Sorry?

01:21:26 Ask who?

01:21:27 Girls around. So I think when I was working, when I was… not the gym. When I was at clubs or

01:21:40 anything like that, I would ask them about situations, stuff like that.

01:21:42 And you'd ask them about their family life or that kind of stuff?

01:21:46 Yeah, I would ask them…

01:21:48 At a club?

01:21:49 No, not club. Clubs like sports.

01:21:52 Sports clubs. And how well would you know these girls before you start asking them about their

01:21:56 family life?

01:21:57 Well, it's not… It wouldn't be like, "Oh, how was your family life?" It'd be more like

01:22:03 in the course of conversation. For example, they might say something like…

01:22:08 They might talk about their family, like, "Oh, this is how this happened." Or, "Oh,

01:22:11 what's… What happened there?" Or something like that. And they would expand on that. And

01:22:15 I would get to understand their personality.

01:22:17 Okay, so I appreciate that. And would any of this turn into a date?

01:22:22 No.

01:22:23 Okay. And why do you think none of these conversations turned into… or you were

01:22:30 able to… Did you ask the girls out and they say no, or you didn't ask them out?

01:22:33 I think I asked… Well, if their situations were bad, then no. But I think I asked one

01:22:38 girl, but she was dating someone else. So, that was kind of it.

01:22:41 And you're in your mid-20s?

01:22:43 Mid-20s.

01:22:44 Mid-20s. So, since you're mid-teens, which is where boys will often start asking girls out,

01:22:51 how many girls have you asked out? And this is not like some macho test. I'm just genuinely

01:22:55 curious.

01:22:55 Since teens? No, not even… I only have one.

01:22:57 So, you've asked one girl out in the last 10 years?

01:23:01 In the last 10 years.

01:23:03 Why?

01:23:04 That is a very good question. I'm going to get a little nervous. Sorry, give me a second.

01:23:13 Well, that's why there are no women in your dream.

01:23:18 I'm home.

01:23:29 And you're in your mid-20s, you're still living at home, right?

01:23:33 Still living at home.

01:23:34 Right. So, come on, man. You don't think you're loyal? They're paying your bills.

01:23:39 And this is six years or more since your father threatened you with no family if you didn't do

01:23:50 what he wanted, and then offered to pay for something and then completely reneged on his

01:23:54 payment and hasn't, I mean, in the six or seven years since, has he made any effort to repay you?

01:24:02 Because, okay, well, that was bad business back then, but

01:24:05 has he made any effort to repay you for what he promised?

01:24:09 Nope, nope, nope, nope.

01:24:12 So, why don't you ask girls out?

01:24:17 That is a very complicated question.

01:24:22 Maybe.

01:24:24 Or a very simple one.

01:24:26 I'll try that. Give me a second, give me a second. So, the question is, why don't I ask girls out?

01:24:40 Yeah, one in 10 years, right? It'd be like if I said, "I've been wanting to get a job for 10 years,"

01:24:49 and I did ask at one place, but it turns out they weren't hiring.

01:24:54 Do you want to hear any excuses?

01:24:56 I don't know. I mean, it's your call, man.

01:24:59 All right, okay. So, here's some good excuses.

01:25:03 I can't even say them because I know you're gonna...

01:25:09 Here, let's throw this out. Okay, so let's start with

01:25:14 logistics.

01:25:20 So, I can't even make excuses without even sounding...

01:25:24 I don't know what logistics means in this context.

01:25:27 It just means people, I guess, going out and finding girls. Because I stay a lot of time

01:25:33 home. I mean, I like software, but... So, there's a lot of time at home doing stuff.

01:25:43 Porn addiction?

01:25:46 Well, I was going to assume that. I mean, a young man who doesn't date... You realize why

01:25:50 women have a very tough time, young women have a very tough time with a man who's not got any

01:25:58 dating history because they're almost certain, at least they would assume he's a porn addict, right?

01:26:02 Oh, well, when I talk to them, they don't... Because I'm...

01:26:06 I'm not saying consciously. They're not saying, "Oh, you haven't dated him." Well,

01:26:08 I'm just saying unconsciously, women know the prevalence and pervasiveness of pornography

01:26:14 in the modern world. And...

01:26:16 Oh, that's true.

01:26:17 Yeah. So, they would assume that a man who doesn't date is just a porn addict, right? And that's

01:26:23 probably not particularly attractive to them, right? So, it becomes kind of this vicious circle,

01:26:28 right? Like, if you don't ask girls out, you end up with more pornography. And with more pornography,

01:26:33 you're less likely to be successful in asking girls out because they kind of get this deep

01:26:37 down or maybe even not so deep down or whatever, right? So...

01:26:41 Actually, let me save some face here. So, save some of my status in a sense. Now, when I talk

01:26:47 to girls, because I'm good looking in a bit, so I don't usually have a problem with

01:26:52 actually getting the initial attraction or setting up stuff like that. It's just...

01:27:01 I guess I'm more worried. Well, okay, it's more... So, okay, we'll start with this. I'm more worried

01:27:09 in the sense because I'm trying to... Because I... Damn, okay. I can't even say it. Damn. Okay.

01:27:24 Oh, I...

01:27:30 You don't have to say anything you're not comfortable with. This is not an

01:27:34 interrogation here.

01:27:36 Well, it's more like I'm embarrassed kind of to say. I'm like, "Oh,

01:27:38 like, I... Okay. I should not be this embarrassed."

01:27:48 Yeah. So, when I talk to people, I don't usually have... Because I'm very charismatic and good,

01:27:56 usually good at speaking and can hold a conversation really well. So, I can build

01:27:59 that attraction and then I can obviously tell them the plan and I can say that stuff. So,

01:28:03 I can get that kind of interest and that stuff. But then when it goes to me...

01:28:07 You mean you can get interest in potentially a dating scenario. You can get that interest

01:28:11 from a girl?

01:28:12 Yeah. I don't have a problem with...

01:28:14 So, you can charm them. You can charm them. Okay.

01:28:16 Yeah. If I had asked her, I don't think there'd be many girls who'd say, "Oh,

01:28:20 no. I don't want to go on a date with you."

01:28:21 Okay.

01:28:22 I think the problem is more when I'm like... Because obviously, I'm at home,

01:28:27 so I don't want to bring them to my family. And then I don't want to... I think that's another

01:28:33 one. If I'm going to ask them out, I have to make sure that they're either not dating someone or

01:28:39 something like that. And I just want to... I think I'm more afraid of not the asking out, but the...

01:28:48 What if they say yes? It's kind of the thing. This was...

01:28:55 Okay. So, let's game that out. So, what if they say yes? So, you just go for coffee or,

01:29:01 I don't know, go for maybe dinner. I don't know what happens these days with first dates. But

01:29:05 okay. So, you go out and then what? So, let's say you have a good time or she's a

01:29:11 nice woman and intelligent and decent and kind and... It's a good thing. Then what?

01:29:20 Well, it's going to be hard because I'm not going to explain to them I'm at home,

01:29:26 why I'm at home. And then I'd have to tell them about my parents and then it's...

01:29:32 Right. So, you're not loyal to yourself, right? You're loyal to people who are putting you in

01:29:39 danger because your parents are blocking you from dating in your mind, right? So,

01:29:45 you prefer time with your parents rather than love, romantic love. You prefer your parents

01:29:51 paying your bills to dating women. That's what I mean by loyalty.

01:29:56 You know, I'm reminded of from your novels, Arlo, because I always liked Arlo as a character.

01:30:04 Yeah, I do too, in a way, too.

01:30:05 Yeah. So, I'm reminded of kind of like, I think we had the same mindset of where

01:30:10 it's like you want to do the bare minimum just to get by and then just like...

01:30:14 Yeah, he says, "I'm just hiding out," right?

01:30:16 Exactly. Just like hiding out. Well, I guess it'd be like you're waiting...

01:30:21 For most of my life, I've been waiting for just to get out of high school and just to get out

01:30:27 of college and kind of like...

01:30:28 Arlo, to be fair, Arlo, it's also like he keeps dropping all these hints about how

01:30:32 absolutely terrible his childhood was, right? Like he won't spend any time in his parents' place.

01:30:37 And they are creepy and his parents' place have all this really weird, creepy...

01:30:43 Yeah, the art.

01:30:43 Artwork on the wall and all this stuff, right? And Rachel's just like, "Dum-de-dum-de-dum,

01:30:48 you're pretty." She won't ask him about the clear signs that he had really,

01:30:55 really bad things happen to him as a child.

01:30:57 Yeah, I mean, I think it's really weird to find someone who reciprocates. If I go and I talk to

01:31:04 someone and I'm like, "Okay, how was your family?" and stuff like that, there's not really a lot of

01:31:07 people who say, "Oh, how's your family?" or "What's that kind of situation?" and that will happen.

01:31:11 Okay, so hang on. So you want... You can't change your family, right? You can't change

01:31:17 your family of origin. So what would be, if there's a sort of good, strong, moral, intelligent

01:31:22 woman and she says, "Tell me your family situation," what would you most like... What do

01:31:27 you think would be the most attractive or appealing thing to say?

01:31:29 I'd probably be something like, "Well, they were terrible." I think when I was growing up,

01:31:40 my parents were terrible with money. They were terrible with parenting. They never

01:31:44 parented. They were just bad. I haven't talked to them in a long time, and I don't plan to.

01:31:49 And I tried to work it out, right?

01:31:52 Well, I...

01:31:54 So yeah, they were terrible. I had my issues with them. I sat down with them many times to try and

01:32:01 work it out. They just kept rejecting what I was saying, and they just kept escalating, or

01:32:05 maybe there'd be more abuse. After a while, it's like, "I got to cut my losses. I didn't

01:32:10 choose this relationship. I really tried my hardest to fix it, but I got to move on, and I got to be

01:32:16 healthy."

01:32:16 Yeah, it was just me trying to talk to them, and they were like, "Oh, no. I didn't have this,"

01:32:20 stuff like that. So I'd be like, "Yeah, they just didn't accept responsibility."

01:32:24 So on the plus side, you don't have a crazy mother-in-law to look forward to,

01:32:29 right? Or father-in-law, or whatever, right? Okay, so that would be the most attractive thing,

01:32:33 right?

01:32:33 Yeah.

01:32:36 Okay, so why haven't you pursued that?

01:32:39 Well, I'm still here, so it's like...

01:32:44 Well, no, but that's a circular argument, right?

01:32:46 Okay.

01:32:47 Why haven't you moved out? Why haven't you, if you can't fix it, get some distance? I'm not

01:32:53 saying whether you should or shouldn't, but if you say that that's the most attractive thing

01:32:56 for a woman, and that's what's blocking you from dating, why wouldn't you move every obstacle in

01:33:01 your life that you could so you could date? Move everything out of the way.

01:33:05 It's definitely comfort, where it's easy, obviously, your bills are paired, food,

01:33:08 stuff like that. So it's easy, especially with porn and video games, stuff like that. It's easy

01:33:12 to sit back and relax. After I left school, I did get some counseling. I started working,

01:33:20 I got some counseling, started saving money. So I do have plenty, especially Bitcoin.

01:33:23 Okay, so you don't have any need to stay at home.

01:33:26 And it certainly would be, no matter what happens to your relationship with your parents,

01:33:32 it would be a lot easier to date if you had your own place, right?

01:33:36 I'd probably get...

01:33:38 It would be a lot easier to date if you had your own place, right?

01:33:42 Yes.

01:33:44 Right. Because you could bring a woman back to your own place,

01:33:47 rather than walking them past mom and dad on the couch.

01:33:49 Well, I don't even want them to...

01:33:52 No, I get it. So it would be much easier. In fact, it would be possible to date if you had

01:33:58 your own place. Right? That's number one. Number two, you can afford your own place, right?

01:34:04 I can afford my own place.

01:34:05 So why the fuck are you still at home?

01:34:06 That is a great question. That is a very...

01:34:14 But the dream is telling you.

01:34:15 It's a very good question.

01:34:19 Because you're loyal to people who are doing you harm and putting you in harm's way.

01:34:23 The dream is very clear about that.

01:34:26 I think it's more like I'm sedated. Maybe that's the best word, where I'm like, "Okay,

01:34:33 um, I can go out on my own or I can stay here where it's like, I don't know, comfortable.

01:34:39 Free food. I do pay some rent, but that's not...

01:34:43 You're not... But you understand you're sedating yourself, right?

01:34:48 Yes, that's the...

01:34:50 With porn, with video games, you're literally taking the sedation yourself.

01:34:54 Yeah. I think before, when I was in like, back in high school, it was like,

01:35:01 it helped me skip the day. So I was like, it helped.

01:35:03 No, no, I don't...

01:35:04 Okay, sorry.

01:35:06 I'm not going back eight years to high school.

01:35:07 Okay.

01:35:08 I'm talking about your life now, right?

01:35:10 Yes, yes.

01:35:12 So you're sedating yourself.

01:35:14 Actually, let me give you an excuse.

01:35:19 I have some documents that I'm trying to file or get, like, SIM cards, stuff like that,

01:35:28 that I'm still doing to get. And then when I got that, then maybe... So then I'll leave then.

01:35:40 So after I've gotten that work done and documents, so maybe in the next...

01:35:43 That's the end of my excuse. So there you go.

01:35:50 I have no idea why getting SIM cards would mean you could or couldn't leave when you

01:35:54 have the money to leave. So don't break it out for me. But I mean, I just, you know,

01:35:59 if you say I'm paying you a radiator, that's one thing, but I don't know what...

01:36:03 I don't know what any of that means.

01:36:04 It was just an excuse.

01:36:05 Okay. So if you're home though, why don't you at least stop drugging yourself and give up

01:36:11 your addictions?

01:36:11 Wouldn't that be better? Like, if you're going to move out and start dating,

01:36:18 it would be better not to be a video game and porn addict guy, right? Because those

01:36:21 are two giant red flags for women, right?

01:36:24 That's true. It's the opposite because I don't have to work as hard. I have a lot more time

01:36:29 and energy, so I can spend that doing sedations. But if I had to...

01:36:33 No, no, but sedation takes away time and energy, right?

01:36:35 Well, that's what I'm saying. So if I had to, if I had a lot more expenses and I was like,

01:36:40 okay, I got to, you know, be on point, then I couldn't afford the sedations. And then

01:36:45 because like, okay, you can play video games or you can eat. And that would...

01:36:51 No, so listen, if you're a guy who's minimal to no video games and a no-fap guy, then you

01:37:00 are automatically in the top 5% of men today. Plus you're good looking, plus you're fit,

01:37:05 plus you have an income, plus you've got an education, right? So like people, you know,

01:37:13 the guys are like, you know, well, it's hard to attract women. It's like, well, you can

01:37:16 easily get into the top 10% just by not being a video game or porn addict.

01:37:21 Yeah.

01:37:23 And it's probably 5%, but let's be generous, right?

01:37:27 Because women don't want to date guys who are addicts to those things.

01:37:35 So you're also loyal to your addictions rather than to your future. Because addictions are all

01:37:46 about managing the past. They're all about managing upset in the past or whatever, right?

01:37:52 And so this is why the dream has you facing backwards, right? Because you're

01:37:55 managing the past. And that's destroying your future, right?

01:38:03 I mean, what happens if nothing changes? Where are you in 10 years? And I don't just mean like,

01:38:12 you probably will have moved out.

01:38:13 I've had more savings.

01:38:16 Okay. So you've got more savings and you've moved out and you've got some professional success.

01:38:22 And so what? Are you married? Do you have kids? Do you have a family? Do you have a future with

01:38:30 people who care about you? Or are you just like this workhorse who stores gold in his eyes?

01:38:42 Hmm.

01:38:43 Is your goal to be the loneliest and richest guy in the graveyard?

01:38:48 Like, it's not-

01:39:03 Because the thing about addictions is they drag you down to the daily, right? What am I doing for

01:39:07 the next hour? What am I doing for the next day? Maybe a week, but addictions prevent you from

01:39:13 zooming out in your life as a whole. Now, of course, at some point, if your addictions destroy

01:39:18 your life, you'll get the zoom out and then that's really horrible. That's really ghastly. It's a

01:39:22 really terrible thing to go through. I've seen it because I'm older, right? I've seen it happen to

01:39:25 people where they just completely freak out about their whole lives. They finally get the zoom out

01:39:30 when it's too late to fix.

01:39:32 I do get those flashes, especially when- because the days when I'm literally not productive

01:39:38 and doing anything else, I do feel- I get those, I don't know, those kind of inner feelings like,

01:39:44 "Oh man, I just wasted this time," or this kind of- it's a feeling of loss.

01:39:48 So I do get those feelings.

01:39:51 No, but what you don't get- and I'll tell you what I think you don't get, and I apologize if

01:40:00 that sounds arrogant and maybe-

01:40:02 No, no, no.

01:40:03 Okay. There's a perfect girl for you and she has 10 guys asking her out

01:40:10 while you're sitting home staring at a screen.

01:40:14 And she's going to get married.

01:40:22 It's that sense of time passing, right?

01:40:28 The number of quality women available for you to date goes down every minute of every day.

01:40:38 Every minute of every day.

01:40:44 Every minute of every day. Some girl who'd be great for you,

01:40:47 getting asked out by some guy who's pulling up his pants and putting down the mouse.

01:40:58 And it's like when the Titanic is going down,

01:41:02 there's one less lifeboat every five minutes, right?

01:41:06 And you got to get up to the fucking deck and get on the lifeboat because there's got to be none.

01:41:17 Yeah.

01:41:23 Some woman who would be perfect for you is right now, as we speak, getting knocked up by the wrong guy

01:41:32 and she's going to end up as a single mom and you probably won't want to date her.

01:41:39 But if you dated her now, or if you dated her three months ago, or six months ago, or a year ago,

01:41:44 she'd be perfect for you.

01:41:48 Some woman that you could date is instead dating a bad guy and he's breaking her heart

01:41:54 so that she's less emotionally available to pair a bond with you and your future children.

01:41:58 Your inaction is the eggs falling through the universe like sand in the hourglass, right?

01:42:06 Actually, that's kind of making me a little nervous.

01:42:12 Am I wrong?

01:42:14 [Pause]

01:42:19 And your addictions are to avoid the sense of time passing, which is why they're kind of demonic.

01:42:24 You got a groundhog day situation going on, right?

01:42:30 I kind of feel responsible. I'm sorry. It makes me feel responsible.

01:42:34 You're 25 or 20. You're in your mid-20s. Of course, you're responsible.

01:42:39 If not you, who?

01:42:40 I'm responsible for-

01:42:40 If not now, when?

01:42:43 Responsible for, I guess, her decisions in that case.

01:42:45 Well, if you're not out there asking girls out and you're a good guy and you are a good guy,

01:42:52 if you're not out there asking girls out,

01:42:54 you have some causality in them going out with less quality guys.

01:42:58 If you're not playing the game and you're a really good player,

01:43:11 you have some causality in who wins and loses.

01:43:13 [Pause]

01:43:36 I can't argue exactly with that. I don't like the idea of being responsible for

01:43:41 someone else's decisions.

01:43:44 Really? You don't like that? Do you think that I'm having some effect on your decisions?

01:43:50 No, do you? You call me. You want to call me. I'm happy we're talking.

01:43:56 Will I have some effect on your decisions? I mean, the whole point of these shows is at least

01:44:00 to have some effect somehow, somewhere on some people's decisions. Isn't that what you want from

01:44:06 me?

01:44:10 I think that's why I'm uncomfortable.

01:44:13 No, no, no. Isn't that what you want from me?

01:44:17 Is for me to have some influence or effect on your decisions?

01:44:22 Yes.

01:44:24 Okay. So you're calling me saying, "I really, really want you to have some effect on my

01:44:28 decisions." And then you're also saying, "Well, I'm really uncomfortable with the

01:44:31 idea of having effects on other people's decisions."

01:44:34 Yeah.

01:44:39 So it's good for me, but bad for you.

01:44:41 Good for me.

01:44:42 Come on. You could be that.

01:44:44 Yeah.

01:44:49 It's always easy to be on the receiving end where you're getting all the value.

01:44:56 Right. But the value that I'm giving you, everything in your dream,

01:45:07 everything in your dream is passive. Everything.

01:45:09 Right. You're sitting on the back of a car being driven by someone else.

01:45:16 You kind of roll off. You're in a neighborhood. You're caught up in a gun battle. You're hiding

01:45:22 out. You hope the cops don't put you in jail. It's all passive and reactive. You don't make

01:45:28 a single proactive choice in the whole dream.

01:45:32 And your dream says, "That leads to what?" What does not making choices and being proactive

01:45:44 and being willing to be wrong, because that's when you make your own choices,

01:45:48 you're willing to be wrong. What does the dream tell you happens if you're just carried along by

01:45:54 circumstances?

01:45:55 Danger.

01:45:57 Massive danger.

01:45:58 Massive danger.

01:46:00 Massive danger.

01:46:01 Hmm.

01:46:02 And at the beginning of the dream, when you see the real authority figure is the man in the striped

01:46:16 tie, not the Asian teacher,

01:46:18 it means that the people who taught you are just following orders.

01:46:30 They're not trying to teach you. They're just following orders.

01:46:32 They're not authority figures. They're just slaves to someone else,

01:46:36 who may in fact also be a slave to someone else, right?

01:46:39 They're not teaching you because they know. They're not teaching you because they're wise.

01:46:43 And they're certainly not teaching you because they care about you.

01:46:45 They're programming you for fear of consequences and a desire for prestige, right?

01:46:52 The teacher.

01:46:56 Means there aren't authority figures

01:46:58 in an institutionalized setting, right? Maybe out in the wild hinterlands of

01:47:04 alternative media, but there's no authority figures in any institutionalized setting

01:47:09 that are teaching you anything. They're just following orders.

01:47:13 Yeah.

01:47:16 Yes. Yes. Yes.

01:47:18 Whatever.

01:47:19 And you don't even make a choice to leave that environment,

01:47:23 because in the dream it just transitions, right?

01:47:26 Yeah.

01:47:27 You don't look at the Asian teacher and say, "Well, this guy's just following orders,

01:47:32 and he's not an authority figure. He's kind of a slave.

01:47:34 And I'm going to get up, and I'm going to walk out of this place and never look back."

01:47:38 You don't even make that choice. You just stagger to another scenario with no transition in

01:47:44 particular, right? Other than the lucid dreaming bit, which isn't really a transition.

01:47:48 So you're passive in the classroom, you're passive on the car, you're passive in the

01:47:54 neighborhood, you're passive in the back of the van, and you're just like a leaf

01:47:58 on the waves tossed here and there.

01:48:01 That's a little frustrating, actually. That's kind of frustrating.

01:48:09 Well, it's comforting in the moment, of course, right? Because you can never be wrong

01:48:13 if you're just reacting, because you can always put the responsibility on other people, right?

01:48:18 Yeah.

01:48:23 You never have to define yourself, you never have to take risks, you just react.

01:48:26 And listen, I say this with great sympathy. I really do. I say this with great sympathy.

01:48:31 And the fact that you're wrestling with these issues puts yourself far ahead of me when I was

01:48:36 your age. So I say this with all the humility in the known universe. And I am still a reactive

01:48:41 and passive guy from time to time. So this is a struggle that we all have. Because society now

01:48:49 has a serious case of tall poppy syndrome, right? "Oh, you're going to be active. Oh,

01:48:53 you're going to be proactive. Oh, you're going to be honest. Oh, you're going to be moral. Oh,

01:48:55 you're going to be outspoken." Behead, right?

01:48:58 You wouldn't believe how much debates I would have in class, but yeah,

01:49:02 I understand exactly what I mean.

01:49:03 Based on the dream, I think I would. But that's... So, I mean,

01:49:07 wanting to just be passive and reactive and not stick your head above the parapet is kind

01:49:12 of understanding, right? It's understandable, given the way the world is. But it needs to

01:49:16 be conscious. Like, I'm out of politics for reasons I've talked about. That's a choice.

01:49:24 So I'm not doing politics. Very conscious decision. I announced it. I've stuck to it

01:49:32 now for two and a half years. Not doing politics. So you can choose to not do something,

01:49:41 but it's got to be choice. It can't just be avoidance. It can't be like, "Well, I really

01:49:47 want to do politics, but I'm just going to drink instead. Drink alcohol instead."

01:49:51 Like, that's not a choice. That's just an avoidance.

01:49:55 God, this is so frustrating. Oh my god.

01:50:00 Well, the dream is frustrating.

01:50:03 Because stuff's just happening to you and you're just reacting,

01:50:09 and things get progressively worse.

01:50:10 I'm actually kind of feeling restless. I kind of want to do something.

01:50:22 Okay. Well, maybe that's a good time to stop the conversation, because maybe you need to

01:50:26 make a list, and maybe you need to make some plans, and maybe you need to figure out who

01:50:30 you're going to ask out next time you're at the gym. Or maybe your restlessness is like,

01:50:36 "Okay, stop talking to big, chatty forehead and go make some plans about your life."

01:50:40 I really do appreciate this. Damn. I'm very uncomfortable right now.

01:50:47 That's how philosophy do you, and me too, if there's any consolation.

01:50:55 All right. Well, listen, man. Will you keep me posted about how things are going?

01:51:00 Do you want me to just like... I'm not sure how that would work.

01:51:04 Oh, you can just message me on Skype, or you can... operations@freedomain.com, and call them.

01:51:09 Just like, "Oh, I just..."

01:51:10 Yeah, yeah. I just want to know how things are going. And, you know, listen, you're a great guy.

01:51:14 You're a smart guy, and a wise guy. And I mean, I won't say so much potential, because that sounds

01:51:22 like an insult to what you've achieved, which is considerable, and I don't want to

01:51:24 pretend that isn't the case. But you're a great guy, man. You should get a wife, be a dad, and

01:51:32 have quality people around you. And maybe the dream is the wake-up call for that stuff.

01:51:40 The wake-up call. Yes, yes. Yes. Well, I definitely appreciate your insight. I quite

01:51:50 enjoy this conversation. I have a lot to think about. Damn. I'll... well...

01:51:56 Okay, go make your lists about your fantasy life, what you want. Make that fantasy reality.

01:52:02 Make some decisions, make some choices, be willing to be wrong. And I think it'll be way better.

01:52:08 Well, yes, I will. I'll do that. I appreciate you.

01:52:12 All right, man. Thanks for the call. I'll look forward to hearing from you,

01:52:15 and have yourself a great rest of the day.

01:52:17 You too. Bye.

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