29000 Wishes 1 Regret-HD
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:00:02 -All the corner office.
00:00:03 Top floor.
00:00:04 -Mm-hmm.
00:00:04 The penthouse suite.
00:00:05 -Welcome to the new Alpern home.
00:00:08 This is our foyer, sort of.
00:00:11 Foyer number three.
00:00:13 Fireplace.
00:00:14 Beautiful view of downtown.
00:00:16 Did you sketch-- did you get that?
00:00:18 Good.
00:00:18 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:00:24 -You thought of everything.
00:00:25 -I did.
00:00:25 Candles.
00:00:26 -Jennifer Alpern.
00:00:27 You are such a romantic.
00:00:29 -Jennifer, I just measured it.
00:00:30 We totally have room for a billiard table.
00:00:32 -Oh, no, no, no, no.
00:00:33 -Come on, Ellen.
00:00:34 -No.
00:00:35 First of all, I am a pool shark.
00:00:37 You know I will kill you.
00:00:38 -You're a pool shark, but you don't play billiards.
00:00:39 -I can't believe you found that.
00:00:41 I put it in the garage in a tiny box in the corner.
00:00:44 -I was cold.
00:00:45 -Honey, you've had that sweater since college.
00:00:47 -It's gross.
00:00:48 It has holes in it.
00:00:49 It smells like old beer.
00:00:51 -Come on.
00:00:52 This is quality.
00:00:53 -Kevin, if you take off that sweater,
00:00:57 I will make love to you in every room in this house,
00:01:00 starting right here.
00:01:03 -That's so itchy.
00:01:05 -Turn to your left 90 degrees.
00:01:08 Open your eyes.
00:01:11 -What is this?
00:01:12 -What do you think?
00:01:13 -What is it?
00:01:14 -Kiss me.
00:01:15 -Hi, I'm Jennifer Alpern.
00:01:22 -And I'm Kevin Alpern.
00:01:24 -And if you're watching this, then we're not here anymore.
00:01:27 That sounds really dramatic.
00:01:28 I'm going to try it again.
00:01:30 Hi, I'm Jennifer.
00:01:31 This is Kevin, and we're here to tell you
00:01:33 how we spent the last four months of our lives.
00:01:35 -You probably already know this, but we both lost our jobs
00:01:38 about a year or so ago.
00:01:39 -Yeah, and things went downhill really fast.
00:01:42 -And then Jennifer had this brilliant idea.
00:01:44 -Yeah.
00:01:44 If we're going downhill anyway, why not
00:01:46 be the masters of our own fate and decide
00:01:48 when and how we're going to go under?
00:01:50 -We have about $29,000 left in credit card lines to spend.
00:01:55 -Spend what we want when we want.
00:01:57 -Yeah.
00:01:57 Do all the things that we wanted to do,
00:01:59 but now, due to the circumstances, can't do.
00:02:03 So here we are kind of documenting
00:02:05 our adventures for you.
00:02:07 Do you have anything else to say?
00:02:09 -No.
00:02:10 Uh, I-- I-- I do miss everyone.
00:02:12 Uh, I just know that we had a really great time
00:02:15 these last few months.
00:02:16 -Yeah.
00:02:17 Oh, and, um, I love you, sis.
00:02:20 I know we haven't talked in a long time,
00:02:22 but I just want you to know I thought about you every day.
00:02:27 [chuckles]
00:02:28 I should probably shut it off now.
00:02:30 [chuckles]
00:02:32 [music - "you come clean"]
00:02:40 You come clean and cause a scene.
00:02:48 My diary writes it's all lies.
00:02:56 [music - "you come clean"]
00:03:00 [vocalizing]
00:03:26 Who do you think you are?
00:03:30 Lighting this place with dark.
00:03:34 My time is meant for play.
00:03:38 You have a better way.
00:03:41 -That bad, huh?
00:03:48 -Can you say hell?
00:03:50 I don't even see what the point is.
00:03:52 Hundreds of us, hundreds,
00:03:53 crammed into this little room
00:03:54 and the looks on everyone's faces just said it all.
00:03:57 Take me, I'll be your slave.
00:03:59 I'll work for next to nothing.
00:04:01 Pathetic.
00:04:02 -You'll get it.
00:04:03 I can feel it.
00:04:04 -No, I won't.
00:04:05 I didn't pass my CPI.
00:04:08 -Your what?
00:04:09 -Critical Personality Inventory Exam.
00:04:12 It's an exam they invented to test
00:04:14 whether your corporate policy gels with you
00:04:17 or your personality gels with them.
00:04:20 They test your big five,
00:04:21 your conscientiousness, your stability,
00:04:23 your openness, your agreeableness,
00:04:25 your extroversion.
00:04:27 [phone rings]
00:04:30 -Brian's totally in trouble.
00:04:32 He thinks his new girlfriend of two months is pregnant.
00:04:34 -What would Brian do without your advice?
00:04:36 -I am his best friend.
00:04:37 -It seems like you're his only friend.
00:04:38 -It's kind of my duty to be there for him.
00:04:40 He's going through a tough time.
00:04:41 -Hello.
00:04:43 Well, you're a good guy, Kevin.
00:04:46 You know, if you shut off your cell phone,
00:04:47 we could save 60 a month.
00:04:49 -Never.
00:04:50 I'm that last link to my old life
00:04:51 when I was a mover and shaker.
00:04:52 -Old habits die hard.
00:04:53 -So what's for dinner?
00:05:00 -Boston baked beans.
00:05:06 -Oh, good. I like beans.
00:05:08 Nothing more nutritious than beans.
00:05:10 They're low in protein.
00:05:12 -Oh, I have a surprise.
00:05:14 -Do we win the lotto?
00:05:15 Jackpot's up to 62.5 million.
00:05:17 -No, close.
00:05:18 I just got my last unemployment check.
00:05:20 -Oh, good. Time to cut loose and celebrate.
00:05:22 -No, it's time to make the money last.
00:05:25 -There's always food stamps.
00:05:27 Or the place we donated the turkey.
00:05:28 -The food bank.
00:05:29 -Yeah.
00:05:30 Or maybe we'll get jobs.
00:05:32 I sent my resume to over 100 companies.
00:05:34 Something's got to give.
00:05:35 -Maybe we should just go to the store.
00:05:36 -No, let's order takeout.
00:05:38 -No. -Pizza.
00:05:39 -No, we can't.
00:05:40 -Pizza. -Pizza.
00:05:41 -Kevin, that's like over $20 plus a tip.
00:05:42 No.
00:05:43 -We can just get cheese.
00:05:44 I can live without toppings, without pepperoni,
00:05:46 not mushrooms.
00:05:47 Mushrooms are a line in the sand.
00:05:48 That's non-negotiable.
00:05:49 -Kevin, we only have $591.62 to last us
00:05:52 an infinite amount of time.
00:05:54 We're not getting takeout.
00:05:56 We're not going out to eat.
00:05:58 Oh, and there was a 50-cent-off pack of--
00:06:02 12-pack of tuna?
00:06:03 -Done.
00:06:05 I swore in college I would never eat ramen again.
00:06:07 I worked hard enough.
00:06:08 I eat the good stuff.
00:06:09 -Is there a reason why you torture us?
00:06:12 -How's that?
00:06:13 -You go on and on about how things used to be.
00:06:15 It's getting old.
00:06:16 -I'm sorry.
00:06:17 I'm remembering a better period in our lives.
00:06:19 -Oh, you're complaining.
00:06:20 -You know, what you call complaining is my way
00:06:22 of remembering better times.
00:06:24 -I'm not having this conversation again.
00:06:27 Oh, Brian again.
00:06:31 What would he do without your brotherly advice?
00:06:35 -I have no idea.
00:06:45 -Now, remember at Old Market,
00:06:47 we used to have our choice of cheeses?
00:06:49 Like goat.
00:06:50 And not just goat.
00:06:51 Kimber, Rockford.
00:06:53 And you could choose what country it came from.
00:06:55 And then the region from that country--
00:06:57 -You're done.
00:06:58 -Sorry, I won't reminisce anymore.
00:07:00 I'm bad.
00:07:01 -Hi, Mom.
00:07:02 -Hi, dear.
00:07:03 How are the two of you doing?
00:07:04 -Doing OK.
00:07:05 -How's Kevin's job hunt progressing?
00:07:07 -I don't know.
00:07:08 Let me ask him.
00:07:09 My mom wants to know how the job hunt's coming.
00:07:11 -I hope you haven't given up.
00:07:13 Tell him, winners win.
00:07:15 -My mom says don't give up.
00:07:16 Winners win.
00:07:17 -I bet she does.
00:07:18 I love her, Mom.
00:07:19 -I just hope he's still looking.
00:07:20 -Yeah, Mom.
00:07:21 He's looking every day.
00:07:22 We both are.
00:07:24 It's just hard.
00:07:25 No one's hiring right now.
00:07:26 -He needs to pound the pavement.
00:07:28 -Mom, he is.
00:07:29 -Are you both coming home for Thanksgiving?
00:07:31 -Yes, we are coming home for Thanksgiving.
00:07:33 -I just don't see why someone won't hire him.
00:07:36 He's such a smart boy.
00:07:38 Such a talented architect.
00:07:41 -Mom, can I call you back?
00:07:43 OK.
00:07:46 You're silly.
00:07:47 -Isn't that why you married me?
00:07:49 -Maybe.
00:07:51 You made a mess.
00:07:52 -I know.
00:07:53 We better go before they make us pay for it.
00:07:54 -No.
00:07:55 What is that anyway?
00:07:56 -It's gelatin.
00:07:57 It's Mexican gelatin.
00:07:58 It's jalapeno gelatin with queso.
00:08:01 -What else do we need?
00:08:02 -No, no, no.
00:08:03 I got the peanut butter and the beans.
00:08:05 You ready?
00:08:07 Tuna, good call.
00:08:09 You were so on it.
00:08:10 -Your favorite.
00:08:11 Cilantro.
00:08:12 -Mmm.
00:08:13 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:08:17 -It's like knives.
00:08:18 -I love cilantro.
00:08:19 -I know.
00:08:20 And it makes me worry about you.
00:08:23 That maybe you are an android.
00:08:25 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:08:28 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:08:31 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:08:35 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:08:38 ♪ Let me go, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
00:08:43 ♪ Honest love ♪
00:08:45 ♪ Don't last at all ♪
00:08:48 ♪ Honest love ♪
00:08:50 ♪ Just makes me crawl ♪
00:08:53 ♪ Honest love ♪
00:08:55 ♪ Makes me go outta, outta my mind ♪
00:08:59 - You growing a beard?
00:09:07 - My new plan is to shave every four days.
00:09:10 That way I can save on razors and shaving cream.
00:09:12 (chuckles)
00:09:13 Do you know that each of those razors is like $2?
00:09:15 I never realized what a root puff was.
00:09:17 - Yep.
00:09:17 Well, I think it's sexy.
00:09:20 Do you still love me?
00:09:31 - Of course I do.
00:09:33 - Then say it.
00:09:36 - I don't have to say it.
00:09:37 I've never said it.
00:09:38 Would I still be with you if I didn't love you?
00:09:43 - What choice would you have?
00:09:45 - I could move out.
00:09:46 - And go where?
00:09:47 - I don't know, the car?
00:09:50 - That's my point.
00:09:51 I feel like we're together because we have to be together,
00:09:56 not because we wanna be together.
00:09:58 - Even when we had everything, I was still with you.
00:10:00 - Then say it.
00:10:03 - Look, you know I don't say it, I just show it.
00:10:05 My mother always told my father she loved him,
00:10:09 and then they got divorced,
00:10:10 and then he married Marilyn, his trophy wife,
00:10:12 and it didn't matter they said it.
00:10:15 - Well, if it means absolutely nothing, then just say it.
00:10:18 - Why are we having this conversation now?
00:10:19 We're married.
00:10:20 - Because it's important now, okay?
00:10:22 I just need it.
00:10:25 - I love you, all right?
00:10:29 - I love you too.
00:10:30 - I love you too.
00:10:31 - I love you too.
00:10:32 - I love you too.
00:10:33 - I love you too.
00:10:33 - I love you too.
00:10:34 - I love you too.
00:10:35 - I love you too.
00:10:36 - I love you too.
00:10:37 - I love you too.
00:10:38 - I love you too.
00:10:38 - I love you too.
00:10:39 - I love you too.
00:10:40 - I love you too.
00:10:41 - I love you too.
00:10:42 - I love you too.
00:10:43 - I love you too.
00:10:44 - I love you too.
00:10:44 - I love you too.
00:10:45 - I love you too.
00:10:46 - I love you too.
00:10:47 - I love you too.
00:10:48 - I love you too.
00:10:49 - I love you too.
00:10:49 - I love you too.
00:10:50 - I love you too.
00:10:51 - I love you too.
00:10:52 - I love you too.
00:10:53 - I love you too.
00:10:54 - I love you too.
00:10:55 - I love you too.
00:10:56 ♪ ♪
00:11:00 - You know what?
00:11:00 It's a nice day.
00:11:01 I'm going to walk home.
00:11:02 ♪ ♪
00:11:12 - Are you mad at me?
00:11:14 - No, I'm not mad.
00:11:16 Just sad, I guess.
00:11:18 - Don't you think I'm sad too?
00:11:20 - Not for the same reasons.
00:11:22 ♪ ♪
00:11:27 - I miss driving our car.
00:11:29 - I thought we weren't allowed to get nostalgic.
00:11:31 It sets back.
00:11:33 - I'm allowed to be a little misty once in a while.
00:11:35 ♪ ♪
00:11:39 - I kind of like it.
00:11:41 I mean, when we used to drive everywhere,
00:11:42 we never got to see anything.
00:11:44 It really opens your eyes up.
00:11:45 - Yeah.
00:11:46 I don't know if I want to see everything.
00:11:49 I like living in my own ignorant little world.
00:11:52 ♪ ♪
00:12:02 - I'm excited for sandwiches.
00:12:05 - Give me the keys.
00:12:07 ♪ ♪
00:12:14 - You always were a terrific chef.
00:12:16 - No, you're sweet.
00:12:17 - And a bad liar.
00:12:19 - [chuckles]
00:12:21 - Huh?
00:12:22 - I thought we were saving that for a special occasion.
00:12:24 - Well, you were.
00:12:26 We might be waiting a long time, so...
00:12:29 [spoon clatters]
00:12:30 - What are we toasting to?
00:12:33 - I don't know.
00:12:37 Let's try something.
00:12:39 During this entire meal,
00:12:40 no one can say anything negative.
00:12:42 This is going to be a happy, pleasant meal.
00:12:44 - Done.
00:12:45 - And if whoever talks negatively loses
00:12:49 and has to do dishes for a week.
00:12:51 - I'm gonna make it two weeks.
00:12:52 - Mm.
00:12:53 Three weeks.
00:12:54 - A month.
00:12:55 - 'Til spring.
00:12:56 - Works for me.
00:12:58 - [chuckles]
00:12:59 You know, Kevin, I was thinking.
00:13:01 This meal out would have cost us $32 at least.
00:13:04 - Mm.
00:13:05 Not to mention the drinks,
00:13:06 which would have been at least $10.
00:13:07 - Yeah, so that's, like, $42 with tax and tip.
00:13:10 Maybe even $45.
00:13:11 - And for what?
00:13:12 - [chuckles]
00:13:13 Bread that costs 10 cents a slice.
00:13:15 I mean, an 89-cent can of tuna,
00:13:17 two cents worth of mayo.
00:13:19 That's, like, 50 cents a sandwich.
00:13:21 That's over a $32 savings.
00:13:24 - And I love tuna.
00:13:25 - Mm-hmm.
00:13:26 - Add a little mayo, relish, celery.
00:13:27 It's a foodie's paradise.
00:13:29 I mean, where would we be
00:13:30 without peanut butter and tuna fish?
00:13:32 Empires were built on these staples.
00:13:35 - You lose.
00:13:36 - How's that?
00:13:37 - You were complaining.
00:13:38 - Oh, I would like to repeal this ruling.
00:13:41 - Do you like sex?
00:13:43 - Oh, that's not fair.
00:13:45 You can't use sex as a bargaining chip.
00:13:47 - Oh?
00:13:48 - Okay, maybe you can,
00:13:50 but that's just not fair.
00:13:51 - Mm, okay.
00:13:53 Maybe I'll consider reducing your sentence
00:13:56 to one week if you work for it.
00:13:59 Tell me you love me.
00:14:03 - Oh, we're back on that again.
00:14:05 - And if we're not on it...
00:14:08 well, then I only have one question for you.
00:14:11 Which type of dishwashing soap do you prefer?
00:14:14 - Make sure you wash those really good.
00:14:16 Put some grease in some of those.
00:14:18 [bell ringing]
00:14:21 [knocking]
00:14:22 - Um...
00:14:24 [bell ringing]
00:14:27 Is it Brian?
00:14:28 I can take some--
00:14:29 - You are--
00:14:30 - Come on.
00:14:31 - You are a troublemaker.
00:14:33 - Looks like he's off the hook.
00:14:35 Hillary doesn't have a bun in the oven.
00:14:36 She dumped him.
00:14:37 - Great.
00:14:38 I'm so happy for him.
00:14:40 - I won two tickets to Paris.
00:14:43 - You mean virtual tickets?
00:14:45 - My sorority nominated me to go,
00:14:47 and I got a new pet.
00:14:48 Her name is Tattles.
00:14:50 She's coming with me.
00:14:51 - Hmm, is this your way of saying you want a cat?
00:14:53 - Ooh, I'm going to the south of France
00:14:56 with my new boyfriend, Henri.
00:14:59 - Can I come too?
00:15:00 - Eh.
00:15:01 - Dumb question, Jen.
00:15:02 What joy do you get in going to places that aren't real?
00:15:05 - The south of France is very real.
00:15:08 - Oh, I see.
00:15:10 Not to us.
00:15:13 - Not having this conversation.
00:15:15 - You never want to talk about it.
00:15:19 - Talk about what exactly?
00:15:21 - Our situation.
00:15:23 Look, I was just reading in psychology.com,
00:15:25 if you talk about your problems
00:15:26 and get them out in the open,
00:15:28 you're more apt to be a happier,
00:15:30 healthier person than holding it inside,
00:15:32 and that it's important for couples
00:15:34 to have tough conversations,
00:15:35 even if it causes friction between those you love.
00:15:39 - Do you really believe any of that BS?
00:15:41 I mean, the individual who wrote that
00:15:43 is obviously under some deadline to generate content
00:15:46 so he doesn't lose his job,
00:15:47 and the life he worked so hard for
00:15:49 and end up like us.
00:15:50 - That's exactly my point.
00:15:52 We're holding on to all this anger,
00:15:54 and it's making us depressed.
00:15:56 - Holding things inside
00:15:57 is not what's making me depressed.
00:16:01 It's living like this that's making me depressed.
00:16:03 It's...
00:16:05 Well, we lost our house,
00:16:07 and we can't even get jobs,
00:16:09 and we could get arrested if we wanted to.
00:16:10 - Oh, I could get arrested.
00:16:11 That wouldn't be tough.
00:16:12 - See what I'm saying?
00:16:13 You said you wanted to have a serious conversation,
00:16:15 and you're just making jokes.
00:16:16 - Well, what am I supposed to do?
00:16:17 - Talk about it.
00:16:18 - Maybe making jokes is my way of venting.
00:16:21 I think if I were to admit
00:16:22 that our lives are going downhill,
00:16:24 I wouldn't be able to cope.
00:16:25 - And now you're being defensive.
00:16:26 - I'm not being defensive,
00:16:28 and I do want to talk about it.
00:16:30 - No, you don't want to talk about it,
00:16:32 because if you did want to talk about it,
00:16:34 we'd talk about it.
00:16:36 Okay, so talk about it.
00:16:38 Now.
00:16:39 - I can't just do it on command.
00:16:41 - Yeah.
00:16:44 - [sighs]
00:16:46 Where are you going?
00:16:48 - Out.
00:16:50 - Okay, where is out exactly?
00:16:52 Jen, you're really going?
00:16:57 [door slams]
00:16:59 [groans]
00:17:02 [sighs]
00:17:04 [soft music]
00:17:07 ♪ ♪
00:17:14 [door slams]
00:17:16 ♪ ♪
00:17:23 [soft music]
00:17:28 ♪ ♪
00:17:35 - You're not gonna jump, are you?
00:17:37 ♪ ♪
00:17:40 - I miss all the fun we've been having.
00:17:42 ♪ ♪
00:17:46 I was thinking about it.
00:17:48 ♪ ♪
00:17:50 - Can we go together?
00:17:52 ♪ ♪
00:17:53 - Like a suicide pact?
00:17:55 ♪ ♪
00:17:56 - Well, I wouldn't want to live without you.
00:17:58 ♪ ♪
00:18:00 - You'd get over me.
00:18:01 - On a bed?
00:18:03 ♪ ♪
00:18:05 - Guess there's only one way to find out.
00:18:07 ♪ ♪
00:18:10 - Think we'd die on impact or in the air?
00:18:12 - We're not high enough to die midair.
00:18:14 It would be on the splat.
00:18:16 - The splat?
00:18:17 - Yeah, when we hit the concrete.
00:18:19 - Is that, like, an official term?
00:18:21 - No, I made it up.
00:18:23 ♪ ♪
00:18:26 - That would be gross.
00:18:28 ♪ ♪
00:18:30 - I'm sorry.
00:18:32 ♪ ♪
00:18:33 - Yeah, bloody.
00:18:36 Body parts.
00:18:38 Everywhere.
00:18:40 - Besides, I want an open casket.
00:18:42 If we end up, we're gonna have to do it some other way.
00:18:45 - Sleeping pills.
00:18:47 - Not effective.
00:18:48 You always hear about people ending up in comas.
00:18:50 ♪ ♪
00:18:52 - Gunshot to the temple.
00:18:54 - To the temple or the mouth?
00:18:57 Because you might survive,
00:18:59 and then you're just a glorified vegetable.
00:19:01 ♪ ♪
00:19:08 - [sighs]
00:19:10 ♪ ♪
00:19:14 I want chips and salsa.
00:19:16 ♪ ♪
00:19:18 - That we could manage.
00:19:20 ♪ ♪
00:19:26 What would happen if you lived and I died?
00:19:29 - Would we die the other way around?
00:19:32 - If we go, we should make sure to go together.
00:19:36 - Deal.
00:19:38 ♪ ♪
00:19:46 [eerie music]
00:19:49 ♪ ♪
00:19:57 ♪ ♪
00:20:05 ♪ ♪
00:20:13 ♪ ♪
00:20:21 ♪ ♪
00:20:28 ♪ ♪
00:20:37 ♪ ♪
00:20:48 ♪ ♪
00:20:55 [eerie music]
00:21:02 ♪ ♪
00:21:09 ♪ ♪
00:21:16 - Hey. - Hey.
00:21:24 I think I figured it out.
00:21:25 - Yeah? - Yeah.
00:21:27 Remember that trip we wanted to take to Paris?
00:21:29 - Mm-hmm.
00:21:30 - We'll take it.
00:21:33 We're gonna do everything that we wanted to do.
00:21:35 We're gonna eat when we want to eat.
00:21:36 We're gonna do what we want to do.
00:21:38 Live high on the hog, no holds barred.
00:21:40 - Sounds great.
00:21:41 We win the lottery?
00:21:43 - Not exactly.
00:21:44 Okay, listen.
00:21:46 We have $29,000 left on our cards.
00:21:50 We're gonna spend it.
00:21:51 We're gonna do all the things we want to do,
00:21:53 live the life we were supposed to live
00:21:54 before this crap happened to us,
00:21:56 and we ended up here.
00:21:57 We're just gonna enjoy ourselves.
00:21:59 - Okay, I thought that we were saving the credit, though,
00:22:01 for when we actually ran out of money and needed to live.
00:22:05 - We were.
00:22:06 But I made one small adjustment to the model.
00:22:09 The original plan would have only delayed the inevitable.
00:22:11 I mean, those cards would have bought us
00:22:13 eight months, ten months tops, and I'm being generous.
00:22:15 - I won't argue with you.
00:22:16 You're our financial guru.
00:22:18 So how do you pay it back?
00:22:20 - We don't.
00:22:22 - I'm confused.
00:22:24 - We're not gonna pay it back because we don't have to.
00:22:27 - I'm missing something.
00:22:29 It's not like they're gonna give us free money.
00:22:31 - Actually, they kind of are.
00:22:33 Just hear me out, okay?
00:22:34 - Yeah.
00:22:35 - Just do you like your life the way it is now?
00:22:37 - No, but--
00:22:38 - No, do you think it's gonna get better?
00:22:40 - I don't know-- - It's not.
00:22:41 - It could.
00:22:42 - It won't.
00:22:43 I ran the numbers, okay?
00:22:44 We're not gonna be out of debt
00:22:45 until we're, like, over 55.
00:22:46 And that's if we can find work.
00:22:47 And that's the best-case scenario.
00:22:49 Don't ask me about the worst.
00:22:51 [somber music]
00:22:54 ♪ ♪
00:23:01 - There's no emotion in this, Kevin.
00:23:13 It's all facts.
00:23:15 This could be the only chance we have
00:23:17 at the life we wanted for ourselves.
00:23:19 - Are you serious?
00:23:21 - Yes, I'm serious.
00:23:23 I've never been more serious in my life.
00:23:25 - This is crazy.
00:23:27 - What's crazier?
00:23:29 Living a wonderful six months with the person you love,
00:23:32 or living a lifetime of toil and fear and--
00:23:36 I know what I'm going for.
00:23:41 - Maybe we should think about this a little bit more.
00:23:43 - I don't need to think about it anymore.
00:23:46 I've been thinking about it for months.
00:23:49 - So you're just gonna go ahead and do it,
00:23:51 whether I'm in or not?
00:23:53 - I'm just telling you what I want for myself.
00:23:55 - Well, maybe you should go see a therapist.
00:23:59 - I don't need a therapist, Kevin.
00:24:01 A therapist isn't gonna help our financial situation.
00:24:05 And it's easy for the doctor to say, "Do you be content?"
00:24:07 Because he is gonna go home to his beautiful suburban home
00:24:10 with his white picket fence,
00:24:11 which our health insurance helps pay for, by the way.
00:24:14 And that's up at the end of the month.
00:24:16 So that's great.
00:24:18 - I just think there has to be a better way.
00:24:22 You know, I'm miserable, too.
00:24:24 I hate what we're experiencing, but I just--
00:24:26 I think there has to be some hope.
00:24:30 - "Hope" is just a word that people use
00:24:32 so they don't have to deal with the cold, hard facts
00:24:34 of the situation.
00:24:37 Kevin, I--
00:24:40 It's the logical decision.
00:24:44 - I can't, Jennifer.
00:24:46 - Fine.
00:24:48 Great.
00:24:49 Then I'll leave you with half the credit cards, okay?
00:24:51 You'll have a little less than four months left.
00:24:54 - Now, where are you going?
00:24:55 - Out!
00:24:57 [dramatic music]
00:25:00 ♪ ♪
00:25:08 ♪ ♪
00:25:15 ♪ ♪
00:25:22 - How'd I know I could find you here?
00:25:43 I splurged.
00:25:45 Caramel macchiato, 3.75.
00:25:48 Sometimes you gotta live.
00:25:51 ♪ ♪
00:25:57 - Can we go to Vegas?
00:25:59 - We always had a blast there.
00:26:03 Does this mean you want to end it with me?
00:26:07 - I don't know.
00:26:11 What don't you know?
00:26:13 - I don't want to live the life that we planned without you.
00:26:17 I'd rather have six months with you
00:26:19 than spend a lifetime wondering
00:26:21 what those last six months would have been like.
00:26:25 - I love you.
00:26:27 - Even though we're gonna off each other.
00:26:30 That sounds really weird.
00:26:33 How are we gonna do it, anyway?
00:26:36 Like, who goes first?
00:26:38 - I don't--we'll figure that out later.
00:26:40 - Yeah, just a minor detail, huh?
00:26:43 - [chuckles]
00:26:45 [indistinct chatter]
00:26:48 So we're gonna keep a video log of what we're planning to do
00:26:54 so our friends and family don't think
00:26:55 we decided to do this randomly.
00:26:57 - I love how you have it all figured out.
00:26:59 - Just doing what makes sense.
00:27:01 It's logical.
00:27:02 - Funny what seems logical today.
00:27:05 - Yeah.
00:27:09 - Come on.
00:27:11 Is it on?
00:27:13 - How do I know?
00:27:14 - The red light needs to be flashing.
00:27:16 - And we're recording.
00:27:18 - Okay.
00:27:19 Hi, I'm Jennifer Alpern.
00:27:21 - And I'm Kevin Alpern.
00:27:23 - And if you're watching this, then we're not here anymore.
00:27:27 That sounds dramatic.
00:27:29 I'm not sure I can--
00:27:30 Hi, I'm Jennifer.
00:27:31 This is Kevin, and we're here to tell you
00:27:33 how we spent the last four months of our lives.
00:27:36 - You probably already know this,
00:27:37 but we both lost our jobs about a year or so ago.
00:27:39 - Yeah, and things went downhill really fast.
00:27:42 - But then Jennifer had this brilliant idea.
00:27:44 - Yeah.
00:27:45 If we're going downhill anyway,
00:27:46 why not be the masters of our fate
00:27:47 and decide when and how we go under?
00:27:50 We have about $29,000 left in credit card lines to spend.
00:27:54 - Spend what we want when we want.
00:27:56 - Yeah, do all the things we wanted to do,
00:27:57 but now, given the circumstances,
00:27:59 won't get a chance to.
00:28:01 So here we are, kind of documenting
00:28:03 our adventures for you.
00:28:04 You have anything else to say?
00:28:06 - No.
00:28:08 Um, I do miss everyone.
00:28:10 Just know that we had a really great time
00:28:12 these last few months.
00:28:13 - Yeah.
00:28:14 Oh, and I love you, sis.
00:28:16 I know we haven't talked in a while,
00:28:18 but I just want you to know I thought about you every day.
00:28:22 [laughs]
00:28:25 We should probably shut it off now.
00:28:27 [soft music]
00:28:30 ♪ ♪
00:28:36 [wind blowing]
00:28:40 - So now that we are free,
00:28:42 we just have to figure out what to do.
00:28:45 - Uh-huh.
00:28:46 - South of France.
00:28:47 - Yes.
00:28:49 - You just want to see the topless beaches again.
00:28:51 - No, I appreciate French art.
00:28:52 - Uh-huh, right.
00:28:54 Uh, your turn then.
00:28:56 - Africa.
00:28:57 I've always wanted to see the lion
00:28:58 on its natural habitat.
00:28:59 - Yeah, yeah, you have big bugs there.
00:29:01 That's not high on my list.
00:29:02 - Come on.
00:29:03 - Horse-drawn carriage ride through New York City?
00:29:06 - That's tourist-y.
00:29:07 - Oh, and going on safari isn't.
00:29:09 Come on.
00:29:10 - African safari qualifies as exotic.
00:29:11 - Uh-huh.
00:29:12 - Carriage ride is generic.
00:29:14 - All right, Mr. Travel Guide,
00:29:16 what is the ultimate experience you could think of doing
00:29:18 that we haven't thought of yet?
00:29:19 - I want to stay on the space station.
00:29:21 - Yeah, it's a little bit out of our budget.
00:29:23 Just a little bit.
00:29:24 - Okay.
00:29:25 Uh, Dodger tickets.
00:29:27 Box seats.
00:29:28 - Yeah, we can do that.
00:29:30 - Hmm.
00:29:32 - Caribbean.
00:29:33 British Virgin Islands.
00:29:35 - I want to walk on the white sand,
00:29:37 and I just want to feel the sand in my hands
00:29:39 and you and the sun and just relax.
00:29:43 - Mm.
00:29:45 [sighs]
00:29:47 I want to drive fast.
00:29:49 - Okay.
00:29:50 - Remember that Formula One racing school we talked about?
00:29:52 We can both race Porsches on the track.
00:29:54 - Yeah, I would do that.
00:29:55 I would totally do that.
00:29:56 I would do that.
00:29:57 - I thought you were afraid of high speeds.
00:29:59 - Oh, what's the worst that could happen?
00:30:01 - Okay, fair enough.
00:30:02 - Die.
00:30:03 - Maybe we make that one of the last things we do.
00:30:05 - Yeah, right.
00:30:06 - Just in case it doesn't, you know, go as planned.
00:30:08 - Yeah.
00:30:11 I want to go on a hot air balloon ride.
00:30:13 - Mm.
00:30:14 - And drink really expensive champagne.
00:30:16 Like, ridiculously expensive.
00:30:18 - Sounds fantastic.
00:30:19 - Yeah.
00:30:20 - Dangle grapes in each other's mouths.
00:30:23 - Yeah, sure.
00:30:25 - It's an image I've always wanted to make happen.
00:30:28 - Hmm.
00:30:29 We're really gonna do this, you know?
00:30:31 - I'm ready.
00:30:32 - Are you?
00:30:33 - Mm-hmm.
00:30:35 [dramatic music]
00:30:38 ♪ ♪
00:30:45 ♪ ♪
00:30:52 ♪ ♪
00:30:59 ♪ ♪
00:31:06 ♪ ♪
00:31:13 - I feel kind of free.
00:31:33 Is that strange?
00:31:34 - No, no, it's a relief, kind of,
00:31:37 to know we can do whatever we want.
00:31:38 - Mm-hmm.
00:31:39 - You know, play and make up the rules.
00:31:41 - Who needs rules?
00:31:42 - Good point.
00:31:44 ♪ ♪
00:31:48 - You could do your whole life thinking that you need to work
00:31:51 and make a living.
00:31:52 - Yeah.
00:31:53 Yeah, and then there's some big payoff at the end.
00:31:56 - Mm-hmm.
00:31:57 - Golden years retirement.
00:31:58 - Yeah.
00:31:59 - It just doesn't work like that.
00:32:02 - What's the one thing you would have done
00:32:04 if you didn't think it was a responsible thing to do?
00:32:07 - Man, it's been so long since I've done anything
00:32:10 irresponsible.
00:32:11 I don't know.
00:32:13 - Well, what are you feeling right now?
00:32:15 ♪ ♪
00:32:17 - I want to stay in an outrageously expensive hotel
00:32:19 on the beach.
00:32:20 The kind of place you have to take it alone
00:32:22 to pay the bill.
00:32:23 - Yeah, yeah, the place where they put
00:32:24 the little chocolates on the pillows.
00:32:25 - Mm-hmm.
00:32:26 - And all the toiletries you could ever need
00:32:27 in the bathroom.
00:32:28 - Yes.
00:32:29 - The fuzzy bathrobes.
00:32:30 - And order room service.
00:32:31 - Yes, yes, even the expensive cheese plate.
00:32:33 And the wine that's really expensive,
00:32:34 but not that good, but really expensive.
00:32:35 - And eat everything in the little fridge.
00:32:37 - Yes, yes, and not care how much it costs.
00:32:41 - I don't want to see you in that expensive hotel
00:32:43 for the next week.
00:32:46 - Okay.
00:32:47 ♪ ♪
00:32:54 - You do know about the--
00:33:00 - Don't forget to bring your swimming trunks,
00:33:01 'cause they're the best.
00:33:03 - Mm, I'm thinking we take that pool naked.
00:33:07 - I'm sure their curiosity won't go any further
00:33:09 than that. - Exactly, exactly.
00:33:11 Why don't we have everything in my--
00:33:12 - Oh, I cannot wait to eat at the restaurant there.
00:33:14 - You hungry?
00:33:15 - Five stars.
00:33:16 Pretty hungry.
00:33:17 I'll be really hungry by the time we get there.
00:33:19 - Hey. - What?
00:33:20 - Let's have you wear your A's hat today.
00:33:22 - I don't like the A's.
00:33:23 - You do, too.
00:33:24 - I hate the A's.
00:33:25 - Everyone loves the A's.
00:33:26 - I really hate them, actually.
00:33:27 You can wear that.
00:33:28 - Um, can I please--
00:33:30 can I please bring my linen pants?
00:33:32 - You have to bring linen pants.
00:33:33 We're pretending it's summer.
00:33:34 - Oh, my gosh.
00:33:35 This is gonna be awesome.
00:33:36 And my white shoes.
00:33:37 - Your seersucker pants.
00:33:38 - Buckled--yeah.
00:33:39 - I don't know where those are.
00:33:40 I think we may have gotten rid of those.
00:33:41 - I'm kind of ready.
00:33:42 I'm in a fruity drink mood, you know?
00:33:43 - Yeah.
00:33:44 ♪ ♪
00:33:50 You okay? - Yeah.
00:33:55 - Too heavy.
00:33:56 You don't need too much.
00:33:57 Let's go. Pool time.
00:33:58 - Let's do it.
00:33:59 - A little pool party?
00:34:00 Actually, I think it was over there.
00:34:01 - [laughs]
00:34:02 - I'm gonna kind of miss it.
00:34:03 Even if it's only for a little while.
00:34:05 - The roaches?
00:34:06 The strange clanging noise at 2 in the morning?
00:34:08 - And don't forget our landlady, Miss Volker.
00:34:10 She had the demeanor of a prison warden.
00:34:12 - Yeah, I know.
00:34:14 - Let's not wait around here.
00:34:16 - Let's get out of here.
00:34:18 ♪ ♪
00:34:20 I have a five-star restaurant here.
00:34:21 - Oh, yeah? - Yes.
00:34:22 - Would you like to eat there?
00:34:23 - I would.
00:34:24 - All right.
00:34:25 - I'd be in the channel.
00:34:26 Would you?
00:34:27 - Immediately, or do you--
00:34:28 - We can check in.
00:34:29 - Can we check in?
00:34:30 - Yeah.
00:34:31 - All right.
00:34:32 [laughter]
00:34:33 ♪ ♪
00:34:36 - We're home.
00:34:37 ♪ ♪
00:34:39 - It's gonna be good.
00:34:41 - Not bad.
00:34:42 ♪ ♪
00:34:50 - Cheers.
00:34:51 - Cheers.
00:34:53 ♪ ♪
00:34:56 - Mm.
00:34:57 ♪ ♪
00:34:59 - Mm.
00:35:00 ♪ ♪
00:35:03 - So, Kevin, how are you feeling right now?
00:35:06 - I like being on vacation.
00:35:08 - Missing our apartment?
00:35:09 - Does the dog miss the pound?
00:35:12 All right, my turn. Hand it over.
00:35:14 ♪ ♪
00:35:21 - [sighs]
00:35:22 I think we made the right decision.
00:35:25 - Definitely.
00:35:26 - We're gonna get the most outrageously priced hotel
00:35:28 in the city.
00:35:29 Where else can you get that $10 a bar of chocolate?
00:35:31 - I meant about us.
00:35:34 - Definitely.
00:35:35 No regrets.
00:35:38 I get to spend some quality time
00:35:39 with the person I care about the most.
00:35:42 And that's more than most people get in their lives, right?
00:35:45 We can grow old and miserable alone, probably,
00:35:48 'cause one of us will go first.
00:35:50 Penniless.
00:35:52 Or we can be in control of how and when it ends.
00:35:56 Isn't that what most people want?
00:35:59 - And what's that?
00:36:01 - To spend the last moments of your life
00:36:02 with the person that you love.
00:36:04 - Mm.
00:36:06 - [laughs]
00:36:07 So what's next?
00:36:10 - Sushi.
00:36:11 - Oh.
00:36:12 - I want lots and lots of expensive raw fish.
00:36:14 - Okay.
00:36:15 - I'm talking about good stuff.
00:36:16 None of that bargain sushi.
00:36:17 - [laughs] Let's do it.
00:36:18 - I just wanna order everything.
00:36:19 Everything, and not even worry about the cost.
00:36:21 I wanna get some of the ultra overpriced--
00:36:23 - Toro. - Toro.
00:36:24 - I love that. Okay.
00:36:25 - Really?
00:36:26 - Yes, we're playing by our own rules now.
00:36:29 - So we're really doing this?
00:36:31 - Yeah.
00:36:32 - Okay.
00:36:33 - [laughs]
00:36:34 Oh, boy.
00:36:35 Anything wrong?
00:36:37 - Oh, Brian is--
00:36:38 - You know what?
00:36:39 I--I don't wanna know.
00:36:41 Just...
00:36:43 Let's just go get some raw fish.
00:36:45 Okay? I'm starving, actually.
00:36:47 Finish these drinks.
00:36:48 - Mm-hmm.
00:36:49 - And go get sushi.
00:36:50 - Hop in the pool?
00:36:51 - Okay, you first.
00:36:52 - Show you my California roll.
00:36:53 - [laughs]
00:36:54 Mm-mm.
00:36:55 - Mm-mm.
00:36:56 - Let's check out this pool.
00:36:57 Here, give me that.
00:36:58 - [slurps]
00:36:59 Let me hold your drink.
00:37:02 - Wait.
00:37:03 - It looks good, doesn't it?
00:37:04 - It does.
00:37:05 - [laughs]
00:37:08 - [laughs]
00:37:09 I had to do it.
00:37:10 I'm sorry.
00:37:11 - [laughs]
00:37:12 - Is it warm?
00:37:13 - [slurps]
00:37:16 - You coming in?
00:37:17 - I don't know.
00:37:18 I have to test it first.
00:37:19 Down here.
00:37:21 - Touch it, lady.
00:37:22 - Ugh, don't.
00:37:23 Get away, get away.
00:37:25 - [laughs]
00:37:27 - [slurps]
00:37:28 - Mm.
00:37:29 - [gasps]
00:37:30 - It's nice, isn't it?
00:37:31 - Yeah, it is, actually.
00:37:33 - [slurps]
00:37:35 - Kiss me.
00:37:38 [upbeat music]
00:37:41 ♪ ♪
00:37:48 ♪ ♪
00:37:56 ♪ ♪
00:38:03 ♪ ♪
00:38:10 ♪ ♪
00:38:37 - Mm.
00:38:39 It's been so long since I've had salmon.
00:38:42 - It's so good.
00:38:43 - Mm, I'm gonna save this moment.
00:38:45 ♪ ♪
00:38:48 - No, don't.
00:38:50 ♪ ♪
00:38:53 Everyone's gonna think I'm a pig.
00:38:54 Turn it off.
00:38:55 - We love to watch you eat.
00:38:56 - Bite me.
00:38:57 - [chuckles]
00:38:58 - Turn it off.
00:38:59 - So, how was the sushi meal?
00:39:02 - Good, considering the last six months I've been here.
00:39:05 Considering the last six months,
00:39:07 all we've had is peanut butter and canned tuna.
00:39:10 It's amazing.
00:39:12 - What's wrong?
00:39:17 - Nothing's wrong.
00:39:18 Turn it off. - What?
00:39:19 - Turn it off.
00:39:21 - What is it?
00:39:23 - We haven't been this happy in a long time.
00:39:25 ♪ ♪
00:39:31 - Remember last time we were at the zig-zag counter?
00:39:34 - Yeah.
00:39:35 - Celebrating my first commission as an architect.
00:39:37 I designed an outdoor playground.
00:39:39 - Yeah, I remember.
00:39:40 You got your promotion after that.
00:39:41 - And we used the bonus as the money
00:39:43 for our down payment on the house.
00:39:44 - Yeah.
00:39:45 We had some great times there.
00:39:47 ♪ ♪
00:39:49 Wasn't this about stuffing ourselves until we--
00:39:51 with raw fish until we burst?
00:39:53 So let's do that.
00:39:55 What else are we getting?
00:39:57 - Everything.
00:39:58 Everything.
00:39:59 We're at the beginning.
00:40:00 - Yes.
00:40:02 - That was good.
00:40:04 - Is Brian the only one that texts you?
00:40:06 - He was the only one of our friends
00:40:07 that didn't mind we were in the poorhouse.
00:40:09 - I guess I give him credit for that.
00:40:12 - Yeah, we should have done that a long time ago.
00:40:15 We always have the best ideas.
00:40:17 - Thank you.
00:40:19 - I think I overdid it, though.
00:40:21 That last tuna hand roll put me over the edge.
00:40:23 - It was good, though.
00:40:24 - I'm losing my physique.
00:40:26 You can see the tuna roll.
00:40:28 - Shut up.
00:40:29 I want shoes.
00:40:31 Designer shoes.
00:40:33 - Robinson Boulevard.
00:40:34 - Robinson Boulevard?
00:40:36 Jennifer is en route.
00:40:39 I like that coat.
00:40:40 - Kind of looking unused.
00:40:41 - Yeah?
00:40:42 - Ooh, but I like that one for me.
00:40:44 We're going in there.
00:40:45 - You're gonna match in coats?
00:40:46 - No.
00:40:47 - We should--we should walk the whole thing
00:40:48 and come up with a plan.
00:40:50 - No, I don't--I think I'm just gonna go in every store.
00:40:53 - Excellent.
00:40:54 - Maybe that's the plan.
00:40:55 - Shopping.
00:40:56 - Would you please define Hog Wild for us?
00:40:58 - Yes.
00:40:59 That is when you can go in any store
00:41:01 and buy any high-end fashion piece of clothing you want
00:41:03 and not care how much it costs.
00:41:05 - Let's go.
00:41:06 [dramatic music]
00:41:09 ♪ ♪
00:41:16 ♪ ♪
00:41:23 - What do you think about this one?
00:41:44 - Mm, yes, very cute.
00:41:46 - New rack of shoes on sale,
00:41:47 but we don't care about prices, so it doesn't matter.
00:41:50 [laughs]
00:41:52 Get that out of the way.
00:41:54 - Get rid of it.
00:41:55 - There you go.
00:41:56 Actually, I like these.
00:41:58 These are super cute.
00:42:00 - Those are--those are very you.
00:42:01 - Also, yeah, these are fun.
00:42:03 - Yeah?
00:42:04 - Kind of.
00:42:05 I don't know, like, kind of rockabilly.
00:42:06 - Would you do that?
00:42:07 - Totally.
00:42:08 - See, I think now we're heading in the right direction.
00:42:09 - You like black.
00:42:10 You do.
00:42:11 - I do.
00:42:13 - Let's go try these on.
00:42:15 - Let's do it.
00:42:17 ♪ ♪
00:42:19 - Mm.
00:42:20 - So I'm gonna try this one on.
00:42:21 - Yeah, you do.
00:42:23 Try it on.
00:42:24 ♪ ♪
00:42:31 It looks kind of changed.
00:42:37 - I'm trying on some new clothes.
00:42:39 - Mm-hmm.
00:42:40 First time in a long time.
00:42:42 ♪ ♪
00:42:48 - Turn it off.
00:42:49 We need to see that.
00:42:52 [rustling]
00:42:53 - Oh.
00:42:54 - [chuckles]
00:42:55 - I can't wait to wear these.
00:42:56 - Yes, let's go put them on.
00:42:59 - Especially the laundry, right?
00:43:00 - Mm-hmm.
00:43:02 - It was a lot of shopping.
00:43:04 - Mm.
00:43:07 It used to be us.
00:43:09 - What?
00:43:12 - Moving at light speed, aiming for the stars.
00:43:15 Brilliant light beckoning us towards a future
00:43:17 that was never to be.
00:43:19 - You're so poetic, Kevin.
00:43:21 - Oh, my minor was English Lit.
00:43:23 - Oh, I was there when you failed your final
00:43:26 in Miss Urban's Legends.
00:43:27 - Oh, that's not fair.
00:43:28 - The dreams.
00:43:29 - That is not fair.
00:43:30 Professor Ballantine had it out for me
00:43:31 from the beginning because she overheard me
00:43:33 talking about her nasty divorce.
00:43:34 - You always did have a way of winning people over.
00:43:37 - I won you over, didn't I?
00:43:38 - Barely.
00:43:39 I think you had to ask me out, like, over 26 times.
00:43:41 - You were counting?
00:43:43 - Most guys would have taken the hint.
00:43:45 - I was committed.
00:43:46 But aren't you happy now?
00:43:49 - Yeah.
00:43:51 I get to spend the rest of my life with the man I adore.
00:43:55 And then end it with him.
00:43:57 A work that a girl has to work.
00:43:59 - Mm-hmm.
00:44:00 [cell phone rings]
00:44:01 - Hmm.
00:44:05 - Let me see who it is.
00:44:06 Who could it be?
00:44:07 - Oh, I wish you would not.
00:44:08 - Let me see. Is it Brian?
00:44:11 - Sense a little hostility?
00:44:13 - Okay, I have a deal for you.
00:44:15 Today will be a text-free day.
00:44:17 Brian will have to go 24 hours without your sage advice.
00:44:19 - What are you offering in return?
00:44:23 - I will be the most loving, wonderful wife you've ever known.
00:44:29 - I think you're getting the better end of the deal.
00:44:31 - Mm-mm.
00:44:35 [cell phone rings]
00:44:38 [cell phone rings]
00:44:41 [cell phone rings]
00:44:44 [cell phone rings]
00:44:46 - No, I think you are.
00:44:48 [cell phone rings]
00:44:51 [cell phone rings]
00:44:54 [cell phone rings]
00:44:56 - Okay. What's next?
00:44:58 - You said you wanted to go to Vegas, right?
00:45:01 - I guess, yeah.
00:45:02 - So let's go.
00:45:03 - At this moment?
00:45:04 - Yeah.
00:45:05 - We can't. We don't have reservations.
00:45:06 - We just get in the car and go.
00:45:09 - Shouldn't we pack?
00:45:11 - No. I just bought some clothes.
00:45:13 We can buy clothes there. We just go.
00:45:15 - I can live with that.
00:45:18 When did you get so spontaneous?
00:45:20 - Maybe I always was, and you just didn't notice.
00:45:23 - I think in four years of marriage I might have noticed.
00:45:26 - Well, that was before, when I thought we had a future.
00:45:29 No, it doesn't really matter.
00:45:31 We can just live in the moment.
00:45:34 - I like this new lifestyle.
00:45:37 It's a bummer that it's gonna be over so soon.
00:45:40 - It ends for everyone.
00:45:42 We just know now when.
00:45:45 So let's go.
00:45:48 - All right. Let's do it.
00:45:49 - Vegas.
00:45:51 Vegas!
00:45:53 In four hours, I'm gonna be sitting by a pool
00:46:01 and sipping on Mai Tai.
00:46:03 - This will not do.
00:46:05 - What?
00:46:06 - We need an upgrade.
00:46:08 We need new wheels.
00:46:10 [rock music]
00:46:13 ♪ ♪
00:46:20 ♪ Attitude stacked and gratitude cracks ♪
00:46:26 ♪ And now we're driving down together in droves ♪
00:46:30 ♪ A polygraph's lie, I'll testify ♪
00:46:33 ♪ If I can get a pardon from the highest court ♪
00:46:37 ♪ Well, you can take what you want to believe ♪
00:46:40 ♪ If you take what I say to be true ♪
00:46:44 ♪ Or fall into a carousel ♪
00:46:46 ♪ I'd be required to frame it all on you ♪
00:46:50 ♪ Let's try looking at the bright side ♪
00:46:53 ♪ And we're gonna party as a bureau ♪
00:46:57 ♪ Let's try picking up the good times ♪
00:47:00 ♪ And we're gonna ride the wave of happiness ♪
00:47:04 ♪ You can fly with your skirt on ♪
00:47:07 ♪ I will be fly, so don't be lost now ♪
00:47:10 ♪ 'Cause sometimes we're gonna be dead ♪
00:47:14 ♪ And it's such a waste of time ♪
00:47:16 - Too bad we didn't get the Lamborghini, huh?
00:47:18 - Yeah, we're really slowing it now.
00:47:20 - Yeah. It's okay.
00:47:22 I like living out my high school muscle car fantasies.
00:47:24 - Yeah, just like every other red-blooded person.
00:47:26 Just like every other red-blooded American male.
00:47:28 Next thing you know, you're watching football
00:47:30 and eating steak.
00:47:32 - Absolutely.
00:47:34 - [laughs]
00:47:36 So, Kevin, what's the first thing you're gonna do
00:47:39 when you get to the city of sin?
00:47:41 - I think you better turn the camera off for this answer.
00:47:43 - I'm thinking everyone wants to know.
00:47:45 - Uh-uh. This is a PG suicide log.
00:47:47 - I wanna know. I think everyone wants to know.
00:47:50 - I'm gonna shoot crabs
00:47:54 and then move on to roulette.
00:47:56 - Yeah, right. Come on.
00:47:58 - Honestly? - Mm-hmm.
00:48:00 - This is kind of embarrassing. - Who cares?
00:48:02 We're gonna be gone. - That's true.
00:48:04 All right, first we're gonna check in.
00:48:07 - Uh-huh.
00:48:09 - And then we're gonna go up to the room,
00:48:12 open the door,
00:48:14 and then I'm gonna kiss you passionately.
00:48:16 - Mm. Tell me about the kiss.
00:48:18 - Passionately. - [laughs]
00:48:20 - Do we really have to do this?
00:48:22 - Come on. Yes, yes.
00:48:24 - Okay.
00:48:26 Then as I throw you on the bed,
00:48:29 I'm gonna tear the clothes from you,
00:48:32 and I'm gonna start kissing you everywhere.
00:48:35 Every inch of you.
00:48:37 I'm just gonna work my way down every curve
00:48:40 and rediscover your womanhood.
00:48:43 Every inch.
00:48:45 - You're bad, Kevin Elfern. Bad boy.
00:48:48 [upbeat music]
00:48:53 ♪ Well, you can make what you want to believe ♪
00:48:55 ♪ If you take what I say to be true ♪
00:48:59 ♪ Let's try another good times ♪
00:49:02 ♪ Gonna ride the wave and I'll got to miss you ♪
00:49:06 ♪ You can call me if you're all set on ♪
00:49:09 ♪ I will be first and you'll be last tonight ♪
00:49:12 ♪ The sun sets quicker every day ♪
00:49:16 ♪ If this is a waste of time ♪
00:49:18 ♪ I will just walk away ♪
00:49:20 [indistinct chatter]
00:49:23 - Well, you can see right through.
00:49:30 - Yeah.
00:49:32 - Remember what happened in this very spot?
00:49:34 - No. - You don't remember?
00:49:36 - [laughs] I do.
00:49:39 You proposed to me right over there.
00:49:41 - Actually, I think it was right over there.
00:49:44 - Did you mean what you said in the car?
00:49:47 - Mm-hmm.
00:49:50 [indistinct chatter]
00:49:53 - Well, it's not quite around here.
00:49:59 - I feel like this is our wedding night.
00:50:01 I can't wait to see the room.
00:50:02 I hope they have a jacuzzi.
00:50:04 - Vegas!
00:50:06 - [laughs]
00:50:08 [upbeat music]
00:50:11 ♪ ♪
00:50:19 [both laughing]
00:50:22 ♪ ♪
00:50:29 [both laughing]
00:50:34 ♪ ♪
00:50:42 [door opens]
00:50:45 ♪ ♪
00:50:53 ♪ ♪
00:51:00 ♪ ♪
00:51:07 ♪ ♪
00:51:14 ♪ ♪
00:51:24 ♪ ♪
00:51:34 ♪ ♪
00:51:41 [upbeat music]
00:51:50 ♪ ♪
00:51:57 ♪ ♪
00:52:04 ♪ ♪
00:52:21 ♪ ♪
00:52:28 - Let's get you diamonds.
00:52:29 - Yeah, let's. Real ones.
00:52:30 These are not expensive enough.
00:52:32 - But we could get you a cicada.
00:52:33 That'd be gorgeous on you.
00:52:34 - What's with the locust?
00:52:35 - Right here. Isn't that the same thing?
00:52:37 - I'm thinking no.
00:52:38 I'm thinking let's press on to the more expensive stuff.
00:52:40 - The more expensive stuff.
00:52:41 - Yeah, it's just not enough.
00:52:43 - Let's gamble.
00:52:44 Whoo-hoo!
00:52:46 - [groans]
00:52:47 - Come up on the fountain with me.
00:52:49 - And do what?
00:52:52 - I'm a lady.
00:52:54 - And what was it you said?
00:52:55 - Never touched her.
00:52:56 - No, no. What did you say?
00:52:57 You said something.
00:53:00 - I don't want to ever be with anyone else.
00:53:05 Let's get married again.
00:53:07 - What?
00:53:08 What did you say?
00:53:09 - I mean, take vows.
00:53:10 Tell each other we're gonna spend the rest of our lives
00:53:12 with each other.
00:53:13 - That's what I thought you said.
00:53:14 It's kind of like I came to say I love you to me.
00:53:17 Nope.
00:53:19 - I love you to me.
00:53:22 - Oh.
00:53:24 - Oh.
00:53:25 - Kevin, Alford, do you love me?
00:53:29 - You know I do.
00:53:31 - Then say those three little words.
00:53:35 - I think you already know the answer to that.
00:53:37 - I think you should say it.
00:53:41 - I love you to me.
00:53:42 - I couldn't hear that one.
00:53:44 Say it again.
00:53:46 - Attention, everyone.
00:53:48 I love this woman.
00:53:50 I love this woman.
00:53:52 I love this woman more than any man
00:53:54 has ever loved a woman before.
00:53:57 - Oh, my God.
00:53:58 - Does that work for you?
00:54:00 - You think that's the wine talking?
00:54:02 - I kept up my end of the bargain.
00:54:06 - You're crazy.
00:54:10 - Will you marry me?
00:54:13 - Yeah.
00:54:17 - Good.
00:54:18 - Let's go.
00:54:19 - I want to remove your garter belt this time.
00:54:21 I didn't get to it at our first wedding.
00:54:23 - At our first wedding?
00:54:24 - Yeah.
00:54:25 - [laughs]
00:54:29 - And here you are at the Little White Wedding Chapel
00:54:31 in Las Vegas, Nevada, once again
00:54:33 in front of the altar of marriage.
00:54:35 Kevin, do you take Jennifer once again
00:54:37 to be your wedded wife?
00:54:38 - I do.
00:54:39 - And do you still promise to love and honor,
00:54:41 respect and keep her all the days of your life?
00:54:44 - I do.
00:54:45 - And do you still promise to love and honor,
00:54:47 respect and keep her all the days of your life?
00:54:49 - I do.
00:54:50 - Father God, we thank you for Kevin and Jennifer
00:54:52 for their love for each other,
00:54:53 their commitment to each other,
00:54:55 and the celebration of four years
00:54:57 of holy matrimony together.
00:54:59 We ask you to continue to give them courage and strength
00:55:01 to live up to the sacred vows
00:55:03 that they are taking again here today.
00:55:05 And we ask you to bless these rings
00:55:07 in their exchange of marriage.
00:55:09 - I do.
00:55:10 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:55:12 in their exchange of marriage.
00:55:14 - I do.
00:55:15 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:55:17 in their exchange of marriage.
00:55:19 - I do.
00:55:20 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:55:22 in their exchange of marriage.
00:55:24 - I do.
00:55:25 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:55:27 in their exchange of marriage.
00:55:29 - I do.
00:55:30 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:55:32 in their exchange of marriage.
00:55:34 - I do.
00:55:35 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:55:37 in their exchange of marriage.
00:55:39 - I do.
00:55:40 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:55:42 in their exchange of marriage.
00:55:44 - I do.
00:55:45 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:55:47 in their exchange of marriage.
00:55:49 - I do.
00:55:50 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:55:52 in their exchange of marriage.
00:55:54 - I do.
00:55:55 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:55:57 in their exchange of marriage.
00:55:59 - I do.
00:56:00 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:56:02 in their exchange of marriage.
00:56:04 - I do.
00:56:05 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:56:07 in their exchange of marriage.
00:56:09 - I do.
00:56:10 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:56:12 in their exchange of marriage.
00:56:14 - I do.
00:56:15 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:56:17 in their exchange of marriage.
00:56:19 - I do.
00:56:20 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:56:22 in their exchange of marriage.
00:56:24 - I do.
00:56:25 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:56:27 in their exchange of marriage.
00:56:29 - I do.
00:56:30 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:56:32 in their exchange of marriage.
00:56:34 - I do.
00:56:35 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:56:37 in their exchange of marriage.
00:56:39 - I do.
00:56:40 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:56:42 in their exchange of marriage.
00:56:44 - I do.
00:56:45 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:56:47 in their exchange of marriage.
00:56:49 - I do.
00:56:50 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:56:52 in their exchange of marriage.
00:56:54 - I do.
00:56:55 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:56:57 in their exchange of marriage.
00:56:59 - I do.
00:57:00 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:57:02 in their exchange of marriage.
00:57:04 - I do.
00:57:05 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:57:07 in their exchange of marriage.
00:57:09 - I do.
00:57:10 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:57:12 in their exchange of marriage.
00:57:14 - I do.
00:57:15 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:57:17 in their exchange of marriage.
00:57:19 - I do.
00:57:20 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:57:22 in their exchange of marriage.
00:57:24 - I do.
00:57:25 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:57:27 in their exchange of marriage.
00:57:29 - I do.
00:57:30 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:57:32 in their exchange of marriage.
00:57:34 - I do.
00:57:35 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:57:37 in their exchange of marriage.
00:57:39 - I do.
00:57:40 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:57:42 in their exchange of marriage.
00:57:44 - I do.
00:57:45 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:57:47 in their exchange of marriage.
00:57:49 - I do.
00:57:50 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:57:52 in their exchange of marriage.
00:57:54 - I do.
00:57:55 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:57:57 in their exchange of marriage.
00:57:59 - I do.
00:58:00 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:58:02 in their exchange of marriage.
00:58:04 - I do.
00:58:05 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:58:07 in their exchange of marriage.
00:58:09 - I do.
00:58:10 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:58:12 in their exchange of marriage.
00:58:14 - I do.
00:58:15 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:58:17 in their exchange of marriage.
00:58:18 - I do.
00:58:19 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:58:21 in their exchange of marriage.
00:58:23 - I do.
00:58:24 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:58:26 in their exchange of marriage.
00:58:28 - I do.
00:58:29 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:58:31 in their exchange of marriage.
00:58:33 - I do.
00:58:34 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:58:36 in their exchange of marriage.
00:58:38 - I do.
00:58:39 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:58:41 in their exchange of marriage.
00:58:43 - I do.
00:58:44 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:58:46 in their exchange of marriage.
00:58:48 - I do.
00:58:49 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:58:51 in their exchange of marriage.
00:58:53 - I do.
00:58:54 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:58:56 in their exchange of marriage.
00:58:58 - I do.
00:58:59 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:59:01 in their exchange of marriage.
00:59:03 - I do.
00:59:04 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:59:06 in their exchange of marriage.
00:59:08 - I do.
00:59:09 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:59:11 in their exchange of marriage.
00:59:13 - I do.
00:59:14 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:59:16 in their exchange of marriage.
00:59:18 - I do.
00:59:19 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:59:21 in their exchange of marriage.
00:59:23 - I do.
00:59:24 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:59:26 in their exchange of marriage.
00:59:28 - I do.
00:59:29 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:59:31 in their exchange of marriage.
00:59:33 - I do.
00:59:34 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:59:36 in their exchange of marriage.
00:59:38 - I do.
00:59:39 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:59:41 in their exchange of marriage.
00:59:43 - I do.
00:59:44 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:59:46 in their exchange of marriage.
00:59:48 - I do.
00:59:49 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:59:51 in their exchange of marriage.
00:59:53 - I do.
00:59:54 - And we ask you to bless these rings
00:59:56 in their exchange of marriage.
00:59:58 - I do.
00:59:59 - And we ask you to bless these rings
01:00:01 in their exchange of marriage.
01:00:03 - I do.
01:00:04 - And we ask you to bless these rings
01:00:06 in their exchange of marriage.
01:00:08 - I do.
01:00:09 - And we ask you to bless these rings
01:00:11 in their exchange of marriage.
01:00:13 - I do.
01:00:14 - And we ask you to bless these rings
01:00:16 in their exchange of marriage.
01:00:18 - I do.
01:00:19 - And we ask you to bless these rings
01:00:21 in their exchange of marriage.
01:00:23 - I do.
01:00:24 - And we ask you to bless these rings
01:00:26 in their exchange of marriage.
01:00:28 - I do.
01:00:29 - And we ask you to bless these rings
01:00:31 in their exchange of marriage.
01:00:33 - I do.
01:00:34 - And we ask you to bless these rings
01:00:36 in their exchange of marriage.
01:00:38 - I do.
01:00:39 - And we ask you to bless these rings
01:00:41 in their exchange of marriage.
01:00:43 - I do.
01:00:44 - And we ask you to bless these rings
01:00:46 in their exchange of marriage.
01:00:48 - I do.
01:00:49 - And we ask you to bless these rings
01:00:51 in their exchange of marriage.
01:00:53 - I do.
01:00:54 - And we ask you to bless these rings
01:00:56 in their exchange of marriage.
01:00:58 - I do.
01:00:59 - And we ask you to bless these rings
01:01:01 in their exchange of marriage.
01:01:03 - I do.
01:01:04 - And we ask you to bless these rings
01:01:06 in their exchange of marriage.
01:01:08 - I do.
01:01:09 - And we ask you to bless these rings
01:01:11 in their exchange of marriage.
01:01:13 - I do.
01:01:14 - And we ask you to bless these rings
01:01:16 in their exchange of marriage.
01:01:18 - I do.
01:01:19 - And we ask you to bless these rings
01:01:21 in their exchange of marriage.
01:01:23 - I do.
01:01:24 - And we ask you to bless these rings
01:01:26 in their exchange of marriage.
01:01:28 - I do.
01:01:29 - And we ask you to bless these rings
01:01:31 in their exchange of marriage.
01:01:33 - I do.
01:01:34 - And we ask you to bless these rings
01:01:36 in their exchange of marriage.
01:01:38 - I do.
01:01:39 - And we ask you to bless these rings
01:01:41 in their exchange of marriage.
01:01:43 - I do.
01:01:44 - And we ask you to bless these rings
01:01:46 in their exchange of marriage.
01:01:49 (soft music)
01:01:53 (beeping)
01:01:55 (beeping)
01:02:18 (soft music)
01:02:22 (beeping)
01:02:24 (soft music)
01:02:31 (soft music)
01:03:00 - None of the cards are working.
01:03:02 You can't cancel those cards, they're our cards.
01:03:11 - I'm sorry, sir, there's nothing I can do.
01:03:13 - Well, turn them back on.
01:03:14 - I can't turn them on, sir, I just can't--
01:03:15 - What do you mean you can't do that?
01:03:17 - You can reapply for the credit line--
01:03:18 - No, I'm not going to reapply.
01:03:19 Those are our cards, I need those cards.
01:03:22 - I'm sorry, sir, there's nothing I can do.
01:03:23 - No, no, I'm sorry, no.
01:03:25 You know, you have a nice day.
01:03:27 - Thank you for being a customer.
01:03:28 - No, thank you for ruining
01:03:29 the rest of what's left of my life.
01:03:31 - They can't cancel those cards, they're our cards.
01:03:36 Aren't you the least bit upset?
01:03:40 You don't seem like it.
01:03:44 How are we supposed to pay for anything?
01:03:45 We can't pay for Paris or the Outback
01:03:47 or the safari with our good looks alone.
01:03:49 - Maybe you could, 'cause you're so pretty.
01:03:53 - As pretty as Beth.
01:03:55 - What?
01:03:58 (dramatic music)
01:04:01 - What are we gonna do?
01:04:05 - No, Kevin, the question is,
01:04:06 what are you gonna do about Beth having your baby?
01:04:08 - What are you talking about?
01:04:11 - Who's Beth?
01:04:12 Because you got a text message from her
01:04:13 while you were pumping gas,
01:04:14 and she mentioned how nicely she's coming along
01:04:16 and that you'd be a daddy soon.
01:04:18 And I didn't think you wanted to have kids, Kevin,
01:04:20 or was that just not with me?
01:04:22 Is that it?
01:04:24 - No.
01:04:26 (dramatic music)
01:04:29 - When were you gonna tell me
01:04:30 you were gonna be a father, huh?
01:04:32 You could've thrown a party.
01:04:34 It takes time to plan a baby shower, Kevin.
01:04:36 You gotta have some consideration
01:04:37 for the family flying in from out of town.
01:04:39 But then again, Kevin, consideration was
01:04:41 number one of your strong suits, was it?
01:04:43 Or you could've had the party local for her.
01:04:47 Her family wouldn't have to fly anywhere.
01:04:49 Where's she from?
01:04:50 Let's see, area code 609,
01:04:53 serving all of Greater Silicon Valley.
01:04:55 What are you doing hooking up
01:04:56 with a girl so far away, Kevin?
01:04:59 Wouldn't you want someone closer for easier access?
01:05:02 I know.
01:05:05 When you were working on that condo development,
01:05:08 your credit card bills seemed a little high.
01:05:12 You know, if you're ever gonna cheat on anyone again, Kevin,
01:05:15 you should consider using cash
01:05:16 for your extra marital affairs.
01:05:18 That or marry a really stupid girl.
01:05:20 You know, I read all of the texts, Kevin.
01:05:24 I especially like the one about your love muscle.
01:05:27 Or how you want to take her doggie style.
01:05:30 Or how you want to have a threesome with her.
01:05:33 Which you said, of course,
01:05:34 that you didn't want to do with anyone.
01:05:36 So were you lying to me or to her or to all of us? Huh?
01:05:39 God, are you even capable
01:05:43 of being committed to one person, Kevin?
01:05:45 Turn that off.
01:05:51 Why, Kevin?
01:05:52 Turn that off!
01:05:53 Why should I?
01:05:54 See, I can raise my voice too, Kevin.
01:05:55 Does that help us?
01:05:56 Turn it off!
01:05:57 You know what?
01:06:00 And to answer your question about earlier,
01:06:01 about what are we gonna do,
01:06:03 is not about we anymore,
01:06:04 'cause we are getting divorced.
01:06:05 Fine.
01:06:06 Fine.
01:06:07 Yeah, it's fine that you just act
01:06:08 like a complete douchebag and break my heart.
01:06:11 Let's just go.
01:06:22 Drives.
01:06:51 How could you do this?
01:06:52 You wanna know how I could do it?
01:06:55 Because I never loved you, Jennifer.
01:06:57 Because how could I want to be with someone
01:06:59 who was always needling me about everything?
01:07:01 Everything had to be so planned out.
01:07:03 Everything was a number, you know?
01:07:05 There was no plan we couldn't diverge from.
01:07:07 You know, there was never any spontaneity.
01:07:11 You slept with someone else
01:07:12 because I wasn't spontaneous?
01:07:14 I made a mistake, all right?
01:07:17 You call getting your girlfriend pregnant a mistake?
01:07:20 She's not my girlfriend.
01:07:22 Pull over.
01:07:29 What?
01:07:31 Pull over!
01:07:32 (siren wailing)
01:07:34 Jen, what are you doing?
01:07:57 Go away, Kevin.
01:07:58 You can't just walk away.
01:07:59 I can do whatever I want, just like you can.
01:08:01 You'll die out here.
01:08:02 Good!
01:08:03 Wasn't that the plan anyway?
01:08:05 I'm sorry about what I said.
01:08:08 Sorry about what you said
01:08:09 or sorry about what you did?
01:08:11 Both.
01:08:12 What were you thinking?
01:08:15 I screwed up. I'm sorry.
01:08:20 I want a divorce.
01:08:23 You're gonna throw our marriage over this?
01:08:27 You already did.
01:08:30 Who is she?
01:08:31 Just someone I met.
01:08:33 Great. You're having a baby
01:08:35 with someone you don't even know?
01:08:37 Are you out of your mind?
01:08:38 I screwed up. I'm sorry.
01:08:40 Me too.
01:08:42 Look, it was nothing.
01:08:43 It was just one time.
01:08:44 It wasn't even serious.
01:08:45 Great. Awesome.
01:08:46 So obviously you're not even serious about us.
01:08:49 Can we just get back in the car?
01:08:53 It's freezing out here.
01:08:54 Good. I hope you freeze to death.
01:08:58 Just take me home.
01:09:00 Look, I know this may not be
01:09:18 the best time to talk about this,
01:09:19 but what are we gonna do
01:09:20 about everything we spent?
01:09:22 I don't know.
01:09:23 I don't know.
01:09:24 I don't know.
01:09:25 I don't know.
01:09:26 I'm gonna do whatever you spend.
01:09:28 I'll pay it back.
01:09:29 How?
01:09:31 I don't know, Kevin,
01:09:33 but I'm not gonna end my life
01:09:34 with someone who obviously
01:09:35 didn't want to spend it with me.
01:09:37 I do love you, Jennifer.
01:09:42 Yeah, you have some twisted idea of love.
01:09:46 If I didn't love you,
01:09:47 would I want to end my life with you?
01:09:50 You weren't gonna do it out of love for me.
01:09:52 We were both miserable.
01:09:53 I was only gonna go through with it because of you.
01:09:55 Give me that!
01:09:56 You're just as miserable as me.
01:09:57 You were just looking for a way out,
01:09:58 and I gave it to you.
01:10:00 We agreed we were gonna do it together.
01:10:01 Yeah, well, that was before all this.
01:10:03 You're gonna do it alone?
01:10:05 Don't worry about it, Kevin.
01:10:08 What about our plans?
01:10:11 I'd rather live the rest of my life alone and miserable
01:10:13 than end my life with you.
01:10:15 But if you want to go ahead and kill yourself,
01:10:16 go ahead.
01:10:17 I don't care.
01:10:23 I will, then.
01:10:25 Fine.
01:10:27 And don't expect me to feel guilty about it
01:10:29 because I won't.
01:10:31 You want to know how I'm gonna do it?
01:10:33 No, I don't care.
01:10:34 Oh, you don't care at all how I'm gonna--
01:10:36 No, and when we get back, I'm moving out.
01:10:39 I'll get my stuff later.
01:10:40 Where are you going?
01:10:42 That's really none of your business, is it?
01:10:45 Jen, I really think you're taking this too far.
01:10:50 Please, just...
01:10:52 Don't talk to me for the duration of this trip.
01:10:55 Jennifer, wait, wait!
01:11:21 Just hear me out.
01:11:23 Please reconsider.
01:11:25 I have to go.
01:11:26 Talk about this.
01:11:27 I know what I did was really stupid,
01:11:29 but it was never meant to be more than just a--
01:11:31 Just a fling?
01:11:33 I know I sound pathetic and you hate me now, but--
01:11:35 Yeah, you got that right.
01:11:36 On both counts.
01:11:38 Probably the smartest thing you've said all day.
01:11:41 Goodbye, Kevin.
01:11:45 [door opens]
01:11:47 [door closes]
01:11:51 [sobbing]
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01:13:17 [MUSIC]
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01:14:27 [MUSIC]
01:14:30 >> Hey Jennifer, you know it's you.
01:14:32 >> Hey Jennifer, it's Kevin.
01:14:35 I haven't heard from you.
01:14:37 It's just, can you call me when you get this?
01:14:41 >> Okay.
01:14:42 [MUSIC]
01:14:43 >> Hey Jennifer, you know it's you.
01:14:46 >> Hey Jennifer, it's Kevin.
01:14:49 I haven't heard from you.
01:14:51 It's just, can you call me when you get this?
01:14:54 >> Okay.
01:14:55 [MUSIC]
01:14:56 >> Hey Jennifer, you know it's you.
01:14:59 >> Hey Jennifer, it's Kevin.
01:15:02 I haven't heard from you.
01:15:05 It's just, can you call me when you get this?
01:15:08 >> Okay.
01:15:09 [MUSIC]
01:15:14 >> Hey Jen, it's Kevin.
01:15:17 Sorry to bother you.
01:15:19 Some more bills showed up.
01:15:21 So I just was thinking that we should talk at some point.
01:15:30 Hope you're doing well.
01:15:32 Call me back.
01:15:33 Bye.
01:15:34 [MUSIC]
01:15:42 >> Hey Jennifer, you know it's you.
01:15:44 >> Hey Jen.
01:15:48 I love you.
01:15:51 I miss you.
01:15:52 [MUSIC]
01:16:08 >> Hi, I'm Kevin Alpern.
01:16:10 I really screwed up.
01:16:13 I did some really stupid things.
01:16:17 Originally, Jennifer and I were going to end it together,
01:16:20 but after careful thought, we decided to go it alone.
01:16:29 I don't want to spend the rest of my life without her.
01:16:31 I do love her, but that's not the reason I'm doing it.
01:16:36 I just have that hunch that things aren't going to get better.
01:16:40 You know my story, credit card debt up the wazoo,
01:16:43 and pretty soon I won't even be living here.
01:16:48 It's like luxury compared to what's next.
01:16:52 I don't even want to think about the future.
01:17:05 I got an eviction notice today.
01:17:07 They were going to kick me out of here.
01:17:10 I'm going to sell my landlord.
01:17:13 I'm going to keep my promises.
01:17:28 Well, I'm officially homeless now.
01:17:30 Everything I own in one suitcase.
01:17:41 I'm just operating in a way.
01:17:43 No bills, no rules to follow, no responsibilities.
01:17:50 Yeah, maybe I made some mistakes.
01:17:55 Or else some very big errors in judgment.
01:18:07 Okay.
01:18:12 This is my new home.
01:18:15 Spacious, huh?
01:18:19 I'm going to make the front seat the kitchen,
01:18:23 and the back seat is going to be the living room and the bedroom.
01:18:38 I miss her.
01:18:41 I miss her.
01:19:06 I miss her.
01:19:13 I miss her.
01:19:23 I miss her.
01:19:38 I miss her.
01:20:06 Hey.
01:20:08 What are you doing here?
01:20:10 Oh, I was just passing by.
01:20:12 Really?
01:20:14 Yeah.
01:20:17 I've been meaning to call you.
01:20:19 Really?
01:20:20 Yeah, about the credit cards.
01:20:23 I've been getting a lot of calls about collections.
01:20:26 I think we should figure out a way to pay them back.
01:20:29 Yeah, we probably should.
01:20:35 So, how have you been?
01:20:38 I've been really good.
01:20:40 Yeah?
01:20:41 Yeah.
01:20:44 I've been miserable.
01:20:46 I got evicted from our apartment.
01:20:49 I've been living in my car for a while.
01:20:54 I'm actually still living in my car.
01:20:58 I applied for a couple of architecture positions.
01:21:02 I haven't gotten back yet, but...
01:21:06 I'm really sorry, Kevin.
01:21:08 Oh, don't be.
01:21:11 Something to be said for downward mobility, you know?
01:21:14 There's a freedom in it.
01:21:18 How about you?
01:21:21 I got hired by a new financial planning firm.
01:21:26 I had to take a pay cut, but I'm not complaining.
01:21:29 That's great.
01:21:31 You deserve it.
01:21:32 Congratulations.
01:21:33 Yeah.
01:21:35 I guess I should thank you for being a total jerk-off.
01:21:38 I guess, you know, if I'd gone with the plan...
01:21:42 I don't know.
01:21:44 Hmm.
01:21:51 Are you seeing anyone?
01:21:53 Why do you care?
01:21:55 Just wondering.
01:21:58 No.
01:21:59 Not that it's any of your business.
01:22:00 We're separated.
01:22:02 Right.
01:22:03 You're totally right.
01:22:04 None of my business.
01:22:08 Guess you're not planning on killing yourself now, huh?
01:22:11 No.
01:22:12 No.
01:22:13 I don't know what I was thinking with that.
01:22:17 I have my whole life to pay off those debts.
01:22:19 I'll just figure it out.
01:22:22 Move on.
01:22:26 Look, we did have a good time.
01:22:31 We did.
01:22:39 Well, it was really good seeing you.
01:22:42 You too.
01:22:49 Jennifer.
01:22:52 If there was someone I'd want to kill myself with, it would be you.
01:22:55 Because I don't think I want to live my life without you.
01:22:59 When you first came up with this crazy plan, I went along with it because I didn't think we would go through with it.
01:23:03 But this time apart has reminded me why I fell in love with you.
01:23:07 Why I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
01:23:12 If you can find any way to forgive me, I will do anything in my power to make it up to you.
01:23:18 I love you so much, Jennifer.
01:23:20 I love you too, Kevin.
01:23:31 I'd like to say that's what I said to her.
01:23:34 But I didn't.
01:23:36 Good luck with your new position.
01:23:38 Hey, things will get better.
01:23:40 Keep your head up.
01:24:09 Jennifer moved on with her life.
01:24:22 You know, workaholic that she is, she rose to her job and fell in love with someone that deserved her.
01:24:33 As for me, I stuck to the plan.
01:24:53 [Music]
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