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Short filmTranscript
00:00Once upon a time, there were three little girls who went to the police academy.
00:06And they were each assigned very hazardous duties.
00:21But I took them away from all that, and now they work for me.
00:26My name is Charlie.
00:58My name is Charlie.
01:19Next item, Bosley.
01:21Next is the Gamworth case fee, $1,250.
01:26Hi, boss.
01:27Hi.
01:28Then the manager case fee, $2,000.
01:33Hi.
01:34Hi.
01:35Can you bring your racket?
01:36It's in the car.
01:37Where's Sabrina?
01:38Oh, she's not here yet.
01:39Your voice is fading, Bosley.
01:40Would you hold just a moment, Charlie?
01:41Guess who else is going to be there this weekend?
01:44Who?
01:45Who?
01:46Wachinsky.
01:47No, no.
01:48Wachinsky.
01:49Wachinsky.
01:50Look, I get the impression that an event of some import is going to take place, and I
01:55have not been informed.
01:56Why?
01:57Didn't Charlie tell you?
01:58Well, it's R&R time.
02:00You know, rest, rehabilitation.
02:03Oh, are we talking about a vacation?
02:05Yes.
02:06Three days, Bosley, with pay.
02:09Marvelously democratic, Charlie.
02:11I have a little croquet set I've been dying to try out.
02:14Wrong, Bosley.
02:16Tell him, Charlie.
02:18Oh, you mean croquet is not allowed?
02:20The idea was that they play, you work, Bosley.
02:25Just let me grasp this.
02:28You mean that you three will be frolicking about at some spa,
02:33shirking your responsibilities while I am here,
02:36sweating over a hot set of bookkeeping ledgers?
02:39You like bookkeeping, Bosley?
02:42Charlie, Charlie, you mean you want me to pay them for doing nothing?
02:45As you said, how marvelously democratic.
02:48Have a good time, angels.
02:49We will, Charlie.
02:51Bye-bye.
02:52Bye.
02:53But...
02:55Okay.
02:57Next case.
02:59Willman, case fee, $1,850.
03:03Now, wait a minute.
03:04No, that's $1,860.
03:08Uh, Charlie?
03:12Charlie?
03:14Sure.
03:17I am well.
03:21Ah!
03:42Dum-da-dum, dum-dum, dum-da-dum, dum-dum, dum-da-dum.
03:48How long are you going to keep doing that?
03:50Until I get it right.
03:52Look, if you want to be in the mood for Polish,
03:54you must hum the Polonaise.
03:59You can pass on this greatest fan.
04:01No, for a movie star or a quarterback, you would be a fan.
04:04But for an international political figure like Peter Wachynski,
04:07you've got to have international simpatico.
04:11I've got a gang of simpatico.
04:14And you would, too, if you'd read some of his books.
04:16He's got some pretty heavy stuff.
04:18You're not going to even get to see him, Sabrina.
04:20There'll be too much security.
04:22Uh, press, the cameras, the whole package.
04:25Listen, I get a glimpse of him from 100 feet away.
04:28It makes the whole trip worthwhile.
04:30If I don't, we're on vacation.
04:33I work on my back.
04:34Hey, maybe you could just wander around
04:36humming the Polonaise very loudly.
04:38Then he'll think you're Polish and make a move on you.
04:41Heaven.
04:44Oh, a 60-year-old man.
04:47She has a crush on a 60-year-old man.
04:49Genius!
04:51Dum-da-dum.
04:53Dum-dum-dum-da-dum.
04:56Dum-dum-dum-da-dum.
04:59Dum-dum-dum-da-dum.
05:10604 OMB.
05:14That's it.
05:27Dum-dum-dum-da-dum.
05:30Dum-dum-dum-da-dum.
05:38My friend, he's having a heart attack.
05:40Could you please help us?
05:42Sure.
05:57♪
06:18Dum-da-dum.
06:20Dum-dum-dum-da-dum.
06:23Can you hear him?
06:24Is it like, always to your ears?
06:25Dum, dum, dum, da-dum, da-dum, da-dum.
06:29Enough.
06:29Dum, dum, dum.
06:30Enough.
06:31Oh no. Now what do you suppose a tab is on a place like this?
06:58I'm gonna take this one, okay?
06:59This is nice.
07:00Huh? What does it matter?
07:02Well, I mean, you know...
07:03Look.
07:06Stop worrying, Sabrina. It's on me. Enjoy Angel.
07:09Love, Charlie.
07:10That's cute.
07:11All right. New York, ma'am.
07:14Thank you.
07:16I've been consumed by an irresistible need.
07:18Oh, you want the double bed?
07:19No, a new swimsuit.
07:21I saw a terrific little shop off the lobby. You wanna go?
07:24Yeah, I can fix my racket string.
07:26Hey, you wanna go, Brie?
07:27Nope. I think I'll stay here and get some of this mountain air.
07:30See you, Lua. We'll meet you at the pool.
07:32Okay.
07:57Professor Wyszynski, I...
07:59Wyszynski.
08:00Oh, I'm sorry. Wyszynski.
08:02I've arranged for the television interview to be in the lounge lobby a few minutes before the luncheon.
08:06Oh, good. Good.
08:07Professor Wyszynski, it is indeed a great honor...
08:12No, no. It's a great privilege to meet you and be a part of your cause.
08:18But, uh, I'm sorry. I am babbling.
08:22Oh, yes. Yes. I'm glad you came.
08:25My dear friend, I've taken over Poland,
08:27but there are thousands of Polish-Americans who do welcome you here
08:32and offer you love and affection and protection.
08:35Glad to have you with us, Ravitch.
08:37Heller, FBI.
08:39Officially, I'm a member of the FBI.
08:42I'm a member of the FBI.
08:44I'm a member of the FBI.
08:46I'm a member of the FBI.
08:48Heller, FBI.
08:50Officially, we're only here to protect the assistant secretary.
08:53Yes, I know.
08:55I know. We must not offend the official pigs who sit in our consulate in Los Angeles.
09:00Protocol.
09:01I understand, my friend.
09:03So, therefore, I am here officially to help you
09:06while you unofficially protect the professor.
09:09Personally, I'm very grateful.
09:12We'll be back in about 20 minutes.
09:14I'll be ready.
09:17Thank you again for coming.
09:19It's an honor.
09:46I didn't even hum the Polonaise.
10:06Do you know the Polonaise?
10:08Oh, uh...
10:10La, la, la.
10:12La, la, la, la, la.
10:14La, la, la, la, la.
10:16Do you like Slivovitz?
10:19Slivovitz.
10:21He, uh, danced with the Warsaw Ballet.
10:26Wrong.
10:28He's the Polish high jump champion.
10:35Ooh!
10:49In a minute.
10:55This is Slivovitz.
11:00Here.
11:02Na zdrowie.
11:04Na zdrowie.
11:14It's made from plums.
11:24Old Polish proverb.
11:26Never underestimate the power of a plum.
11:29New Polish proverb.
11:31Yes, very new.
11:36Well, now, my beautiful young lady,
11:39what is your name?
11:41Uh, Sabrina Duncan.
11:43Sabrina Duncan.
11:45Good.
11:46And I am...
11:48Oh, you don't have to tell me who you are, Professor Wyszynski.
11:51My friends call me Peter.
11:54My friends will never believe this.
11:58Do you climb over porch railings often?
12:01Not nearly often enough,
12:03but today I feel very good.
12:05You see, I'm going to see my son for the first time in four years.
12:09John Wyszynski, age 36, professional lawyer,
12:12present home San Francisco, right?
12:14Yes.
12:15Your wife was killed during the war,
12:18so you raised John by yourself.
12:20And when Poland was taken over by the Communists,
12:23he came to this country,
12:25but you stayed there to begin your war of words.
12:35You know a great deal about me.
12:37I've read nearly everything you've written.
12:39I know that you're here for a press conference
12:42with the Assistant Secretary of State,
12:44that you're going to discuss a resolution
12:46that you both drafted to present before the United Nations,
12:49and that the resolution is an attempt to stop
12:51Communist influence in the Eastern Bloc countries.
12:59Such a pretty head, and so full of information.
13:04And a great deal of respect for you and what you're doing.
13:10Thank you.
13:13Ah, Haller and Ravitch will be worried.
13:16They're my watchdogs, you see.
13:18Oh, my son is unmarried.
13:22Considering my age and yours,
13:24perhaps I should introduce him to you.
13:28Is he coming here?
13:29Any minute.
13:31Well, shall we meet right after lunch with the Secretary?
13:36I would be honored.
13:38Good.
13:43This little time I've stolen from you,
13:45I'm very grateful.
13:47Well,
13:49dovijeni.
13:51Dovijeni.
13:56Oh!
14:16What do you think?
14:21Shirley Babishoff, eat your heart out.
14:23Backstroke, anyone?
14:24Do you know what I've been doing?
14:25I've been in our room having slivovitz with guess who?
14:29What slivovitz?
14:30Plum Brandy.
14:31Plum Brandy?
14:32Plum Brandy.
14:33Where did you come across this odd nectar?
14:38It was given to me by Professor Peter Vyshinski.
14:42Professor Peter Wychinski?
14:44Vyshinski.
14:46Wait, let me get this straight.
14:48You and Professor Wychinski toasted each other together?
14:52In our room.
14:53In our room?
14:54Mm-hmm.
14:55He came over the porch railing?
14:57Now, wait a minute, Sabrina.
15:01Let's go over this again.
15:03Professor Peter Wychinski hurtled his 60-year-old body onto our porch and marched into our room
15:09bearing a bottle of Plum Brandy?
15:11That sounds crazy.
15:14Oh, no, it makes perfect sense.
15:15Yeah, just last week, Rosalind Carter leaped through my kitchen window with a quart of chili.
15:31Well, if it isn't the old porch jumper himself.
15:43Oh, my God.
16:14There's something wrong.
16:21I'm sorry, Miss Security.
16:23It's all right.
16:24I'm a friend of the professor's.
16:25I'm sorry, Miss.
16:26You're going to have to stand back.
16:27Listen, my name is Sabrina Duncan.
16:28My name is John Heller, FBI.
16:30Now, we just flew in from London with the secretary and the professor.
16:35We're very busy.
16:36Now, if you don't stand back, I'm going to put you under arrest.
16:44Why don't you go get into your tennis clothes?
16:46I'll get mine and meet you at the lounge.
16:48I mean, that's what we came here for.
16:50Fun, right?
16:52Yeah, remember what Charlie said about a vacation?
16:54Enjoy.
16:56I'm telling you, I talked to him in our room.
17:01Okay, so you talked to him.
17:02He's got a short memory.
17:04No, he doesn't.
17:05There's nothing the matter with his memory.
17:06His memory's just a mess.
17:07He's got a short memory.
17:09He's got a short memory.
17:10No, he doesn't.
17:11There's nothing the matter with his memory.
17:12His memory's just fine.
17:14Sabrina.
17:17I'm telling you, something is wrong.
17:39I'm telling you, something is wrong.
18:10Hey, Sabrina, you know...
18:20Mr. Halloran.
18:24Could you give this to the professor for me?
18:27Please tell him he left it in my room.
18:29It was in your room?
18:31As I said, it was in my room.
18:34Please tell him he left it in my room.
18:36It was in your room?
18:38As I told you, we're friends.
18:41Well, I only just now met the professor,
18:43but I researched some of his personal habits.
18:45It seems he privately enjoyed the company of young women.
18:49Publicly, he has an image to protect, of course.
18:51You understand that.
18:53So, perhaps it would be less embarrassing all around
18:55if I returned the lighter.
18:57If you like.
18:58Apology accepted.
19:05Girl, she's a fun Patrinsky visitor.
19:08She's a celebrity worshiper.
19:10I think she's been discovered.
19:12But just to make sure,
19:14entertain her until 1 o'clock.
19:16My pleasure.
19:18And you should stay in the chalet.
19:26Okay, so, I'm going to have to go.
19:31Okay, so the professor has a few flaws.
19:34He's still a wolf eater where it counts, right?
19:38Thank you.
19:40I'll sign for these, okay?
19:43It's already been taken care of.
19:45Look, I hate to come on in bars,
19:48but, well, this kind of scenery is rare around here.
19:52May I?
19:56Sure, go ahead.
19:58Sure, go ahead.
20:00I could use a little ego boosting.
20:02Oh, sounds like somebody's been raining on her parade.
20:05She just found out one of her idols has feet of clay.
20:08Feet of clay, mind of gold.
20:11Ah, all that action out there in the lobby a little while ago.
20:15Your idol part of that crew?
20:20Who were those people, anyway?
20:22The Assistant Secretary of State
20:24and Professor Peter Wytzinski, no less.
20:27Ah, the Assistant Secretary of State and who?
20:32Wyszynski.
20:34Wyszynski.
20:36There's a big political powwow in the banquet room.
20:39Oh, how about that?
20:43You know one of them?
20:45Well, we had a brief encounter.
20:48Very brief.
20:50You didn't know the professor was here?
20:54No, I'm not into politics much.
20:57Oh.
20:59What room are you in?
21:07Eight.
21:09Eight?
21:11Eight's my lucky number.
21:15Is it mine?
21:18This place has no ambiance.
21:22I've got to have ambiance.
21:25I knew you'd feel that way.
21:29See you later, Kelly.
21:34Oh, I left my razor on the table. I'll be right back.
21:42Eight is not your lucky number.
21:44He is not telling the truth.
21:46He was watching Wyszynski.
21:48Come on, Sabrina. This is getting out of hand.
21:50I'm telling you, he was watching Wyszynski and he's watching me now.
21:53Okay. What do you want me to do?
21:56Find Jill, have her follow him when he leaves the room.
21:59I've got to get into the banquet room.
22:01Meet me outside the suite in 15 minutes.
22:04Thank you.
22:05Okay, bye.
22:06Bye.
22:21Ambiance?
22:23Needs champagne and hot water.
22:27Hot water?
22:29I have a thing about showers.
22:33Oh, well, the shower's in there.
22:36Any special kind of champagne?
22:41Don't bury you all 55.
22:50Room service.
23:21Yeah, I need some champagne in room eight.
23:26Do you have Dom Perignon 55?
23:29Good. Bring it up.
23:50Thank you.
24:21Hello.
24:23Hello.
24:25Hello.
24:31Hello.
24:51Where's Jill?
24:52Waiting for the peanut.
24:53Came to come out of room eight like you asked.
24:55How'd you get out?
24:56Very carefully. Now listen, Wyszynski's son should be here any second.
24:59I want you to find him, talk to him, tell him what's happened.
25:01Sabrina, I don't know what's happened and neither do you.
25:04Listen, I know that everything Peter Wyszynski does or says in public,
25:08to the press, to the secretary, it's all very important.
25:11Now, if he's being threatened...
25:13You can't be sure of that.
25:15I know our friend in room eight was lying when he told us he didn't know.
25:18My friend in room eight was lying when he told us he didn't know who Wyszynski was.
25:21He was lying when he told us that he didn't even know if he was here.
25:24And the look on that man's face when I waved at him, that was an embarrassment.
25:28He was frightened. Now I'm going to find out why.
25:31You'll never get past the security people hollering ravage.
25:34You just find Wyszynski's son.
25:37There's an employee locker room outside the kitchen.
25:39Take him there and wait for me.
25:49Oh, wait. Am I late?
25:57Uh, excuse me. Your name is, uh...
26:00Mary.
26:01Mary, that's right. Mary, uh...
26:03Jeffers.
26:04Mary Jeffers. And your mother's maiden name was, uh...
26:06Johnson.
26:07Right. Susan Johnson.
26:09No, Evelyn Johnson.
26:10Evelyn Johnson.
26:12There's just no trickery here.
26:14Evelyn Johnson. Evelyn Johnson.
26:17There's just no tripping you up, is there, Mary?
26:19Big deal. I know my mother's first name.
26:21Now, listen, Mary. I've got one more question.
26:23I want you to listen to it very carefully. Consider it before you answer it...
26:26because it could mean a great deal to you, all right?
26:28Now, do you have a relative who recently passed away...
26:33that you hadn't seen in quite some time?
26:38Well, I, uh...
26:40I had an aunt.
26:41Yeah?
26:42Her name was, uh...
26:44It was Margaret. Aunt Margaret on my father's side.
26:46Is that right?
26:47Quite right.
26:51Hey, um...
26:52Why are you telling me all these things, huh?
26:54Mary, county courthouse.
26:57Probate division. Judge Phillips.
26:59Your Aunt Margaret's will is due to be read in half an hour.
27:02Her will?
27:03That's right. Now, if you leave right now, you can just make it.
27:05Oh, okay. But my job, I could...
27:08It's all right. I've talked to your boss.
27:09Everything's been taken care of.
27:11You can just go on and go. Judge Phillips.
27:13And good luck, Mary.
27:14Oh, yeah. Hey, thanks.
27:16It's Phillips.
27:17Phillips! Good luck.
27:19Good luck.
27:42It's about time.
27:44What'd you do, stomp the grapes yourself?
27:47Hardly, sir.
27:53$280?
27:56There's no charge for the cheeses and crackers, sir.
28:18A change for 20?
28:20No, sir.
28:28Good day, sir.
28:47Good day, sir.
29:17Good day, sir.
29:47Good day, sir.
30:17Good day, sir.
30:47Come on.
31:17Good day, sir.
31:47Good day, sir.
32:17Good day, sir.
32:47Good day, sir.
33:17You sure we're in the right place?
33:32Well, I think so.
33:34Great outfit.
33:36Yeah.
33:37Okay, what happened?
33:39I followed him from room 8.
33:40It looks like he has a friend in a chalet on the other side of the hotel.
33:44They're holding somebody in there, Sabrina.
33:46Could you tell who it was?
33:48I couldn't because of the drapes, but it looks like a man tied to a chair.
33:52He wasn't moving.
33:56Sabrina, I checked with the desk.
33:58Wychynski's son.
33:59He's got reservations here, and the airline sent his luggage, but he hasn't shown.
34:03Okay.
34:06Okay.
34:08You gotta get in that chalet.
34:09I don't know how you're gonna do it, but you gotta do it and get back to me.
34:12You know, you're putting yourself in between a rock and a hard place.
34:15She's right.
34:16I mean, those FBI fellas aren't kidding around, and you've already been warned.
34:19Okay.
34:20All right, thank you.
34:21Let's just get going.
34:22I'll be all right.
34:23Okay.
34:24Thanks.
34:25Okay.
34:42I'm here to clean your room.
34:44The room was cleaned this morning.
34:46Oh, don't you want to clean this afternoon?
34:48It doesn't have to be cleaned this afternoon.
34:50All right.
34:51I guess I'll come back and clean it again in the morning.
34:55Okay.
35:25Okay.
35:56Miss.
36:06Miss.
36:25Miss.
36:39Wychynski's son still hasn't checked in.
36:41Well, our peanut king just took a car around to the back of the chalet.
36:44They're leaving?
36:45Yeah, I guess so.
36:46Listen, you better go get the car.
36:47I'm gonna take a closer look inside, okay?
36:49Okay, Jill, be careful.
36:50All right.
36:55Okay.
37:25Okay.
37:26Okay.
37:56They put him in the trunk and he's been drugged.
37:58Let's go.
38:26No, he's through.
38:27If we lose him, the man in the truck's dead.
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43:27Ladies and gentlemen,
43:29while we're adding an inch or so to our waistlines
43:31with those desserts that we promised ourselves we wouldn't eat,
43:34let me take this opportunity to welcome you here today
43:37on this very momentous occasion.
43:39In a time when the world strives desperately for peace,
43:43we're blessed with the presence of two men
43:45who are its most formidable proponents.
43:48Two men whose untiring devotion to duty
43:51have set an example for men of goodwill throughout the world.
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47:16To return the right of free choice to all men.
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