"The Thin Blue Line," released in 1995, is a British sitcom created and written by Ben Elton. The show is set in the fictional English town of Gasforth and follows the comedic antics of the local police force. Starring Rowan Atkinson as Inspector Raymond Fowler, the series portrays the humorous day-to-day activities and relationships of the officers, including the strict Sergeant Patricia Dawkins (played by Serena Evans) and the dim-witted Constable Kevin Goody (played by James Dreyfus). Known for its witty dialogue and satirical take on police procedures, "The Thin Blue Line" combines slapstick humor with sharp social commentary, making it a beloved classic in British television comedy.
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00:30Oh
01:00Oh
01:30I
01:47Hope I didn't wake you not at all. It's the first time you've made my headboard rattle this year. I wouldn't have wanted to miss that
01:53You
01:56Know where I've been my petal at my pub quiz night the pubs closed at 11
02:03Yes, that's true
02:04But I've been buying you a present
02:07What a kebab?
02:14Raymond is that lipstick on your collar?
02:18No, it's ketchup
02:20I remember now
02:22Constable Habib was eating ketchup eat chips when I kissed her
02:26You kissed constable Habib were through to the local final Patricia. Well one game away from the trophy
02:33So you kissed Maggie Habib? Yes, I very nearly kissed constable Cray as well
02:39Lose some man as he is he does know the halftime scores of every cup final since 1918
02:45You
02:56Know how much the whiz trophy means to me. It's the only glittering prize. I've ever truly coveted
03:03So you kissed Maggie Habib? I
03:07Can't tell you I wonderful show well, don't it was all down to the last question
03:13I'd have been stumped on the name of the Chancellor in Disraeli's second administration. I mean, would you believe it?
03:20Mr. Thicke or what?
03:22And that oaf Cray had gone completely to pieces over the 1932 Soviet discus team
03:30Things were looking pretty bleak until
03:33Habib dear
03:35beautiful
03:37little constable Habib
03:39Pulled off a stunning coup by knowing the names of all the guerrillas vertebrae
03:52Darling what what what's the matter? Nothing really? It's nothing. Oh, that's all right
04:00You're upset
04:02I'm gonna brush my teeth
04:05It's just I can't remember the last time you said what a wonderful woman I was. Oh, come on, darling
04:11You don't know the skeletal composition of the gorilla
04:22Morning morning. Morning everyone. Good morning
04:27Um
04:31You're not annoyed with me are you sighted no not at all
04:36It's a sort of breakfast I couldn't help noticing that you crunched your cornflakes in rather an aggressive manner
04:43Did I and you didn't make my tea with cold water?
04:48And yesterday's teabag in my bicycle helmet
04:53Not
04:55That it wasn't lovely
04:57Most refreshing Raymond. I am NOT in the slightest bit angry
05:01Good good
05:03So the Brillo pad in my shredded wheat was a mistake
05:08Great fresh from last night's trial
05:11What do you eating breakfast in it beef and onion pie? Do you wanna be?
05:16I spit it out man. Haven't you heard of mad cow disease?
05:20Come on, so no one worries about that anymore
05:23Nobody worries about cricketers chewing gum and spitting anymore, but that doesn't mean to say that it has ceased to be a national disgrace
05:31Personally I don't believe all those stories
05:34Anyway, as far as I'm concerned you could get more sense out of a British call than you will out of a whole packet
05:39of German sausages
05:42Very possibly
05:44Is only a week away we can take no chances from now on I suggest you eat only fish probably raw
05:51That's true sir
05:53Murgatroyd who lives next door to me eats nothing but fish and she can lick her own backside, which I think is very
06:03Would I be right in assuming that Murgatroyd is a cat no, so she's a contortionist
06:14I've got a tough job on Raymond and I need your cooperation. Now. It's pretty urgent. So I won't be about the proverbial privy
06:23Frankly I'm too busy a man to be cluck clucking away like a
06:28Decapitated feathered fowl. So I'll get straight to the point
06:31I'm delighted to hear it time waits for no man as the proverb goes and what I say is in CID
06:37Crime waits for no man
06:40I shall cut the bovine feces all together
06:44This is CID work
06:46CID we dispense with niceties. We avoid irrelevance. We disregard herrings red or otherwise
06:55We do not funny about
06:59Expect a grim what was there something you wanted to discuss? Oh, yes
07:07To be blunt Raymond, I need a woman and I want your help
07:15Well, Derek, I'm glad you felt able to come to me about
07:18How strong are these urges and how long have you had
07:22Police woman you idiot
07:24We've been on to a major local villain for months, but he's slippery like an owl
07:33It does however have a weakness and that weakness is totty totty
07:40Birds Spence anything in a skirt bar in a Scotsman
07:46He's a lady's man
07:48Are you suggesting an entrapment operation not entrapment Raymond entrapment is as you know illegal
07:55But blokes drop their guard with girls. They don't think of the consequences
08:01Limey we've all done it
08:03You get all stupid with some young lovely and before you know it you're bald
08:0940
08:11Sitting in the car park at Sainsbury's home
08:16Now I want someone with brains brains and beauty
08:21I
08:23Want her babe?
08:25Well, you cannot have her I strongly disapprove of this type of dubious underhand operation
08:30We're not talking about a honey trap just a bit of intelligence gathering CID cannot operate without intelligence
08:36Well, you seem to have managed very well
08:40Listen the blood is laughing at the law if you're not careful division will hand it over and we'll have the flying squad back
08:48You really think so of course we will if all we're doing is fannying about
08:52Much care for the flying squad. I must say
08:55arrogant oafs to a man
08:56You know the last time they were here, but one of them left chewing gum stuck under my desk
09:02What sort of mentality?
09:05State of the lavatories
09:07It was almost as if they were aiming for the floor
09:16If you're ever cornered by one head for the gents and hide any
09:24And if you don't want them round here chewing gum and dampening our facilities you better start cooperating with me
09:33I'll talk to the girl and see how she feels about it. Well do it discreetly
09:37It's not the sort of operation that wants to be blabbed round the station tell no one but Habib
09:42I don't need to be told my duty inspector Grimm. Well. I hope not
09:46Because it's my backside on the line, and I'm right up to my neck in it
09:55Ah council tabi come in sit down
10:01Now then I've asked you to come and see me on a matter of considerable delicacy
10:06Right you are inspector. You can trust me. I sincerely hope I can because I wish to discuss an extremely sensitive operation
10:13Oh, I see
10:15My dad's just had one of those
10:18Complaints are very common in men of your age
10:20Talking about a police operation constable Habib. Oh, I see sir. Sorry
10:25What is more for the record my bowels are in perfect working order?
10:29You can set your watch by them. I haven't missed an evacuation in 25 years
10:37However, I'm not here to discuss my quite excellent digestive system. I'm here to discuss a police matter
10:46You are to be seconded to the criminal investigations department CID
10:51Yes, yes the CID if you must although it's beyond me why perfectly serviceable sentences must always be reduced to graceless
10:59lifeless initials
11:00Why when Mark Antony stood bestride Caesar's grave declaiming friends Romans countrymen
11:07Would you have done better to say?
11:09FRC's
11:12Initials are easier and quicker just but does that make them better?
11:15Life would be easier and quicker if we popped our clogs of birth that way we would avoid all those slow
11:22Troublesome things like long walks in the country games of chess long languid lingering
11:29Oh, what's the word sex?
11:32good a
11:33Montiado Sherry's before lunch
11:36Yes, like sex would you prefer sex constable Habib if it was quick and easy?
11:47Yes, sergeant
11:51What is constable Habib doing in your office well now that I cannot say sergeant
11:56Constable Habib and I were discussing something which must remain private between the two of us private. I fear so now
12:02What can I do for you? There's a delivery for you
12:05constable goody
12:09We've got the new earth
12:13That's right the beautiful it is beautiful and shiny a beautiful and shiny
12:23I ordered
12:26And now it's come Frank's just been polishing it up. Come on Frank show inspector Fowler his new
12:35Desk crest er. Yes, that's right
12:40Goodie this is a royal crest
12:44Well if you knew that this crest represented the authority of her majesty the Queen what in the devil's briefcase
12:51Did you imagine er stood for?
12:54Er in the palace
13:00Elizabeth Regina, it's down for Elizabeth Regina, but I never knew that I thought it stood for extremely royal
13:08We are his initials, isn't it? So are they graceless and lifeless? Don't be clever. Have you?
13:14Public mistrust clever police officers. They think they're up to something
13:19I clear off you lot and hang that crest above the front desk. I'm in the middle of an extremely sensitive meeting
13:27Afraid I shall have to ask you to leave to sergeant
13:30You're throwing me out of your office reluctantly. I'm afraid that I am you see I wish to be alone with constable Habib
13:37You do understand don't you sergeant? Oh
13:40Yes, I understand very well
13:42I
13:47Must say this will look very well up on the wall. Tell you what Frank a big act in that bad jump
13:59So comfortable Habib you ought to be the bait in a honey trap
14:03You are to dress up in your finest stockings miniskirt and boob tube
14:08And stare a hard-bitten thug into your sexual web I
14:13Envy you constable Habib
14:15For such an opportunity to serve
14:18I could lend you a pair of tights
14:23Now if my experience in amateur drama has taught me anything
14:28It is that there's more to acting than putting on the tights
14:31One must immerse oneself in a role live it breathe it when I was in Henry the fifth
14:36I often came to work with a codpiece under my trousers
14:40Did you play Henry the fifth sir? Well not quite Henry. No I played man
14:49But if you take this job off from tomorrow morning you will no longer be constable Habib
14:54Stern steady and the credit to the service you will instead be a right saucy bit of brisket
15:02Now will you do it well it's got to be better than coloring shoplifters in the high street hasn't it good
15:06Let's go and see inspector Grimm. Oh
15:09But just before we do one final thing
15:13Give me the first six primary numbers
15:1611 and 13 sir state the periodic symbols of iron and gold FB and AU sir the quiz final is six days from now
15:22How long is that in half hours?
15:24288 sir
15:30Well a couple happy you really are very good
15:33I do my best sir bit of a face at the end. I must say I wasn't really ready for such a hard one
15:56Constable Habib
15:57What do you think you're doing?
15:59You can't come to work looking like a tart
16:02Have a good mind to have you disciplined. It's all right. You specter follows that he wanted me to dress like this
16:10Asked you to dress like that. That's right. He said he wanted me to look dead sexy. What do you think sir?
16:15My name is sergeant Dawkins constable
16:19Why did inspector Fowler ask you to dress like that he?
16:22He said I wasn't to tell anyone
16:25Happy that's what I like to see splendid splendid come on through to the briefing room
16:33Now I remember what I said about acting happy
16:36Live your character live it because your life may depend on it right you are big boy
16:55I love a man in a uniform. Is that a trenchant in your pocket? Are you just pleased to see me?
17:11Actually, it's a mouthful
17:20Right then
17:22Constable a babe you're with CID now and in CID we do things a bit differently. Oh, yes. Oh, yes
17:31When you run us up the flagpole, you'll find you'll salute in a very different kettle of fish
17:37You could be a bit tasty inspector, I mean if you had hair in your head instead of your face
17:44Well done happy
17:47Sorry, I'm late we down a frog and truncheon setting up a narc you didn't drink tell me you didn't drink
17:53Of course not sir. I never drink on duty. I had three pints
17:58Pints have you any idea how many brain cells one unit of alcohol destroys who won the FA Cup final in 1953 um
18:05Blackpool, they'd be bottle Wanderers for free you said um you're a mean man
18:11The alcohol I mean
18:13Losers um
18:15We are in the middle of an extreme was synchronized swimming admitted as an Olympic sport
18:211984 now you're erring
18:23Percy one and then you were it's a short step from that. Hang on. I know this one. Could you repeat the question?
18:30Pull yourself together you foul drunken
18:32James sits to the left of Fred who is two seats down from Tony who sits the right of Jane and next to fire extinguisher
18:38Each seat has a width of two and a half feet and there's nine inches between
18:42In the event of a fire how far will Fred have to travel to reach the fire extinguisher?
18:46Tony will already grabbed Tony Jane fainted from fear
18:50We are discussing a dangerous operation. You're on duty man. Pull yourself together. I'm sorry. You're quite right. I will not mention the quiz again
18:59Except to say the victory will bring honor to the whole station
19:03honor and a big cup
19:06A
19:07shiny cover
19:09not that one covered such trinkets, of course, but
19:12But a cup that this pathetic alcoholic
19:15Sad rattled beer-soaked dips a maniac will no doubt arrive at the final mounted on a pink elephant
19:28Please proceed I will not disturb you or mention the quiz final over again. Well, I'm very glad to hear it
19:33Right now the meeting will take place at the old priest's hole
19:39But the old priest hole is the venue for the pub quiz final
19:44Definitely well Fowler, I'm afraid that means that had babies off your quiz team, but she's my star striker
19:50Exactly, and if she turns up at our villains boozer as the star of Gaspeth police quiz team
19:56There's just a chance he might work out. She's a copper
20:03Excuse me sergeant darling. May I have a word? It's your police station. You can talk to who you like I suppose
20:12Yes, well, um, the point is that I need another man for my quiz team and when I say man
20:18I mean, of course man or person
20:21Now you've got a pretty good brain. Oh girl
20:24Senile dementia not quite set in yet. I hope
20:26I
20:27Wouldn't be much good on pop music or fashion, but
20:33Play a pretty straight back when it came to post-war politics or matters pertaining to gardening and plumbing
20:41Can't imagine why you would want another player after all you have constable Habib the finest brain and the shortest skirt in the force
20:50Habib is an extraordinary woman, but I'm afraid she cannot compete I have
20:55Other duties for her
20:58Duties Raymond, what is going on? I'm afraid I cannot tell you Patricia and that's the end of it
21:02And anyway, there's our team really need her. I mean, she's bright. She's charismatic. She's a natural star, but
21:12And I answer
21:13No
21:15Good honest plain solid workaday team player like
21:20I wouldn't join your quiz team. If it was the only thing that stood between you and disemboweling with a blunt truncheon
21:30Goody that's them in the briefing room. Leave the earth. I mean
21:38Leave it
21:41All right, you men I'm going to ask you a question and I want you to answer to the best of your ability
21:47Do you understand? Yes, sir. Just one question, sir. Yes, just the one question
21:53No, I mean may I ask a question about your question?
21:57Yes, if you must. Thank you
21:59Is that the question?
22:03Is what the question if we understand
22:07But that you're going to ask us a question
22:10Is the question whether you understand the fact that I'm going to ask you a question
22:15Yes, sir, you see you said you were going to ask us a question and then you asked us if we understood now
22:21I was wondering if that was the question
22:23Or just a sub question and that the real question was still to come
22:28Congratulations. Goodie. You've just failed your trial for the quiz team
22:30I
22:34Was captain of a pub quiz side one sir, were you really? Oh, yes. I
22:39remember telling the lads before first much
22:42memory and
22:43Detail, let those be our bywords
22:47Memory memory memory detail detail detail. Well, excellent advice Gloucester. Then how did your team fare?
22:53I don't I forgot where the pub was
22:58Sir
23:00You know, the name of our team is called gas for a police station
23:04Yes, very good. But I fear that the questions are likely to be slightly
23:09What is the name of your team? I?
23:12Was just thinking it doesn't say that the players actually have to be coppers does it sir
23:20How far will Fred have to travel to reach the fire extinguisher
23:34I don't think you're trying hard enough constable. Did you show him plenty of leg?
23:38Excuse me. If this skirt were any shorter, it'd be a belt
23:43This bloke is a heart and villain he's not going to incriminate himself for a flash of gusset
23:50Offered a lot do what Oh God, I suppose I'll have to show you
23:56Constable cry you'd be the mark now. This is how to be sexy. You've got to imagine the skirt
24:02Oh
24:06So do you want another drink love? Oh, I shouldn't really I'll get some Randy
24:15Give me a big one
24:20Are we trying to make him confess or throw up
24:24Look inspector grim with all due respect to your suppressed sexuality. I haven't got a problem giving him the come on
24:31I've been beating him up with a bottle of brown ale
24:36You got to make him think that you like sleeping with villains and it turns you on no
24:40I will not have it that is blatant entrapment
24:43It is not the job of the police to provoke people into breaking the law
24:46You can't provoke them if they don't want to do it. We've come this far. She's got to go the last mile
24:52What do you think sir?
24:54Soliciting a crime is an offense. I know constable. I know I utterly deplore this type of operation
25:01but
25:02well, we've come this far and
25:04And if we can just get this business over with before the pub quiz final, then you can be back on the team
25:17Well, happy you don't look very happy what's inspector Fowler asked you to do now
25:22He's asking me to go a lot further than I feel comfortable with
25:26Think is a bit immoral and I think he does too
25:30I
25:34Racist sergeant Dawkins. Have you one man? No, I have not have come to my senses
25:45Destroyed Her Majesty's crest the very symbol of all the values that I stand for you don't stand for any values
25:52I've seen what you're doing to Constable Habib you viper you rat. Oh
25:56I see
25:58So, you know about Habib do yes, I do you are right to destroy the crest
26:03I should never have got along with Grimm's entrapment operation in the first place
26:07Let alone hurry it on so that Habib could rejoin my quiz team
26:13Entrapment operation. Well, yes, but but you must have known that that that's why you destroyed the crest
26:20Unless you place some other interpretation upon my activities with constable heavy
26:26The whole thing worked out short skirts secret meetings entrapment operation plainest day. Absolutely new all along
26:34Never agreed to Grimm's appalling methods
26:37If I had not I would still have my honor my crest and a full quiz team
26:45As it is I have nothing
26:48Dear, oh dear Raymond you don't go on with your high and mighty up your
26:55Jaxi snooty snotty diddy Dobby. Excuse me scouts on a
27:01croquet load of old cobblers
27:05Suppose we're not babe comes in here with our man. You'll mind taking off the credit. Will you know?
27:09You'll be in there for the glory. Won't you on the contrary Derek? I want no further part of this matter
27:14So the full and complete credit goes to CID
27:18The whole thing is mine. I
27:20Shall hold you to that Raymond. Oh, yes
27:26I
27:28Believe mr. Green mr. Fowler. Well, well, well Terry the tank
27:36He's an arrest has been made already
27:38Well done constable. I shall handle this Raymond as agreed sir. I don't think you understand
27:44She hasn't arrested me. I've arrested her
27:48on a citizen's arrest
27:49little cup of tarts
27:51There I was trying to get me leg over and all she's interested in is me pump action
27:57Entrapment, that's what this is. I don't want to make a very serious complaint
28:02Well, it's back to grim. I believe you were anxious to take full and complete credit for this operation
28:08Now's your chance
28:13You know that don't you I love you I love you I love you you're all I've ever wanted
28:20Holding you like this in my arms makes me the happiest man
28:28And I'll never ever let you go shut up Raymond
28:49You