First broadcast 19th October 2011.
Rhod Gilbert
Greg Davies
Lloyd Langford
Jo Whiley
Amanda Byram
Sarah Millican
Angela Rippon
Rhod Gilbert
Greg Davies
Lloyd Langford
Jo Whiley
Amanda Byram
Sarah Millican
Angela Rippon
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00CHEERY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC
00:17CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:22Tonight on Ask Rod Gilbert, our special guests are...
00:26She's no white cat, it's Amanda Byram!
00:30And first lady of stand-up, Sarah Millican!
00:35We're here every week, it's Greg Davies!
00:41And Lloyd Langford!
00:45Ladies and gentlemen, Ask Rod Gilbert!
00:53Hello, welcome, yes, my name is Rod Gilbert
00:55and tonight my job is to find the answers to the questions
00:57that keep us all awake at night.
00:59Questions such as, should we stop publishing books
01:02until we all catch up reading the ones that are out there?
01:05I love reading, but there are just far too many books.
01:08There must be, because God has written one
01:10and most of us haven't bothered reading it yet.
01:13And we certainly don't want any more celebrity autobiographies.
01:16People are writing them before they've even had a life.
01:18Justin Bieber has got one.
01:19The only reason he needs a book at all
01:21is so he can stand on it to reach his calpol.
01:24You shouldn't be allowed to write an autobiography
01:27until you're at least 30.
01:29Nothing happens until then.
01:30Who'd want to read Jesus?
01:31My life was a carpenter and I'm at a magician.
01:37Come on, if we carry on like this,
01:40pretty soon we'll have people writing their memoirs
01:43before they're even born.
01:44What are you reading, darling?
01:45Oh, it's A Womb With A View by Harper Seven Beckham.
01:49Anyway, on with the show.
01:54In a world full of ambiguity, we need someone with credibility
01:58to help us find the answers to our questions.
02:00So as always, we begin by asking,
02:02who is tonight's authenticator?
02:04She'll need the energy and enthusiasm it took to present Come Dancing.
02:15She'll need all the class and all the refinement it took to get an OBE.
02:23Oh, it's OBE, not OB.
02:25After doing Walkman Y, she became famous for her lovely legs.
02:34That's right, tonight's authenticator is National Treasure Angela Rippon.
02:54Welcome to the show, Angela.
02:56Thank you very much indeed.
02:58You know, I read those, as I was reading those,
03:00I was thinking, blimey, that's a career.
03:02Not that it's over.
03:05But it's already been good, is what I mean.
03:07It's been 45 years long, yeah.
03:09What's been the highlight?
03:11The highlight is that after 45 years, I'm still here.
03:14I think that's the highlight.
03:16Still here, more than just still here.
03:19And how are you going to help us tonight, Angela?
03:21I am going to provide the panel with all the information that you need
03:25to answer the questions, and hopefully we'll, between us, get them right.
03:28Brilliant, thank you very much.
03:30And when I think we have an answer, I will do this.
03:36Sarah, have you been asked anything recently?
03:38Yeah, I've been asked when my DVD comes out.
03:44You did this last time.
03:47You did this last time.
03:51You did this on the last series, I remember that.
03:53I remember saying to you, what have you learnt recently?
03:55And you went, something about your upcoming tour.
03:57Yeah.
03:58I'm not an idiot.
03:59November the 21st.
04:02Is it November the 21st?
04:04Yes, it is.
04:05Oh.
04:06A week earlier, you'll be able to buy mine on the 14th, then.
04:10I've got two copies of Mrs Doubtfire, if anybody wants to buy one.
04:14Are you doing another one of your car boots?
04:18Have you learnt anything recently, Amanda?
04:20I have, Rod.
04:21Actually, I was at the Emmys last week,
04:23and I interviewed Steve, what I thought was Buscemi,
04:26and apparently it's Buscemi.
04:28I don't know who he is.
04:29Everyone does.
04:30I don't.
04:31Hey, Cornere.
04:32He's what?
04:33Cornere.
04:37It's Cornere.
04:40Do you know who he is?
04:41No.
04:42Do you know who Steve waskingi Buscemi is?
04:44No, I haven't got a clue, because I only listen to Radio 4.
04:49Let's find out who wants to know what.
04:51Who have we got?
04:52Lionel Richie.
04:53Are we fans of Lionel Richie?
04:54Yeah.
04:55No? Fine.
04:57I know we're fans of Kim Jong-un.
05:01Are you a Kim Jong-un fan?
05:02We're fans of him on this show.
05:03He's a bit of a friend of the show, actually.
05:05He does write in every week with a question.
05:06Does he?
05:07Has he ever actually made an appearance on the programme?
05:09He hasn't appeared yet,
05:10but every week he's on Twitter or Facebook or emails the questions in.
05:13Are they sensible?
05:15Are they sensible?
05:16Yeah.
05:17He's a serious man.
05:18Rod, do you enjoy poo sticks?
05:19Look.
05:26Rihanna.
05:27What does Rihanna want to know?
05:29Hi, Rod.
05:30Rihanna here.
05:31Do you like my new dance move?
05:33Well, Rihanna, I do like it, but it's not really new.
05:35We've been doing the Paula Radcliffe over here for years.
05:41Oh.
05:46Let's have our first round.
05:48The World Asks.
05:49Let's see who wants to know what.
05:52It's a skydiver in Australia.
05:55What would they like to know?
05:57Can you hear that from Australia, Rod?
05:59I've got a question for you.
06:11Oh!
06:13Can we live...
06:16Can we live without money?
06:18What do we think?
06:19I think we can.
06:20The Greeks are about to live without money, aren't they?
06:24What does it mean when they've run out of money?
06:26When they've run out of money, they've just got fatter, no?
06:28That's the answer now.
06:29Things can only get fatter.
06:36To answer the question,
06:38you would just use something else instead of money, wouldn't you?
06:41What would you fall back on?
06:42Let's say you've got a blocked toilet,
06:44the plumber comes round and fixes it,
06:45you can't give him money, what would you use?
06:47I'm really good at unblocking toilets.
06:51No, but I wouldn't call a plumber...
06:53Would you call a plumber for a blocked toilet?
06:55Yes.
06:56What?
06:59Put your nails in, get cracking.
07:01Amanda, what would you use instead of money?
07:03Let's say the pizza delivery man comes round.
07:05Well, I use the barter system.
07:07It's tit for tat, so, you know...
07:12Really? Because I've got a load of tat in my room.
07:20What would you fall back on, Lloyd?
07:22I can't imagine you've got anything to fall back on, have you?
07:26I'm all right doing massages.
07:28I'm not very skilful, but I'm enthusiastic.
07:31He gets to do the massage.
07:35So I could, like, unblock your toilet
07:37and you could give us a massage.
07:39Yeah, I'd probably want you to have a shower first.
07:45We don't really actually use money that much anymore.
07:47We use debit cards and credit cards.
07:49I mean, the last time I used actual money
07:51was for, like, a parking meter or a wishing well.
07:54The old parking meter and wishing well trick.
07:56Did you park just to put money in a wishing well?
07:59I definitely would have did.
08:01You must have needed that wish, did you, Pet?
08:04I think that would really take the romance out of a wishing well.
08:07I imagine at some point in the future
08:09you'd just swipe your card across.
08:14Have you got a fact for us? Yeah, I have.
08:16Mark Boyle is the founder of the free economy community
08:19and he has lived without money since 2008.
08:22And he survives by growing his own food,
08:24by sharing possessions and by bartering.
08:27And on his very first day of living without money,
08:30he offered 150 people a three-course meal
08:33with waste and foraged food.
08:35I'm a member of various online swapping communities.
08:41It's recycling stuff, it's giving stuff away.
08:44I've had loads of good stuff like that.
08:46So somebody advertises online and they say,
08:48I've got this, that and the other.
08:50Come round and get it and you go round and get it for free.
08:52Are they more specific in their descriptions
08:54than this, that and the other?
08:56I can give you some of the descriptions if you want, Sarah.
08:58Offered jars.
09:00Hi everybody, a bag of various sized jars go in spare.
09:03Was going to use them for jam, but I can't be bothered.
09:10Offered large bag of chargers, etc.
09:13Will make somebody a lovely Christmas present.
09:18Offered broken DVD player.
09:20Will not play, but spins the disc.
09:24Question was, can we live without money?
09:27And I asked each of you to bring something in that you could swap.
09:31So, Sarah, what have you brought in?
09:35That's the potato head.
09:38God, only in Ireland would that get an R.
09:44Lloyd, what have you got?
09:45I've got these rods.
09:46What are they?
09:53They're sunglasses to stop you being identified by the paparazzi.
10:01What have you got there, Amanda?
10:03I've got one of these little gadgets.
10:04It's not quite as good, that, to be honest.
10:05Well, not quite, which is why I would like to swap it.
10:07What have you got, Greg?
10:08I've been a bit embarrassed, actually, Rod,
10:10because I didn't know until this afternoon,
10:12I genuinely didn't know we were doing this swap item,
10:14so I just had to run around the hotel I'm staying in
10:16and bring what I can, so I've just got...
10:19Some soap there as well.
10:21That's all right.
10:22Shower cap.
10:25Light shades.
10:34Nice dressing gown. It is a nice dressing gown.
10:38Is there anything left in your hotel room?
10:53Who wants what, then?
10:54I quite like all of this, so would you, Greg,
10:56would you swap for a Mr Potato Head?
10:58I would swap for a Mr Potato Head.
11:00I would swap for a Mr Potato Head.
11:02I would swap for a Mr Potato Head.
11:04Yes, would you, Greg, would you swap for a Mr Potato Head?
11:07Yes, I would.
11:08Because I'm staying in the same hotel now,
11:10I've got two of everything.
11:13Whereas Greg is entirely alone in a bay room
11:15with one Mr Potato Head.
11:20And while we clear that little lot away,
11:22let's have another fact from Angela, please.
11:24The question was, could we live without money?
11:27Well, I think we've got someone who can give you the answer,
11:30who was on the telephone to help you,
11:33is Professor of International Economics at Nottingham University,
11:36Dr Daniel Bernhofen.
11:39Dr Bernhofen.
11:40Yes, speaking. Hello.
11:42Hello. You're on the show. Welcome to the show.
11:45Thank you.
11:46You're German?
11:47I'm German, yes. I teach at the University of Nottingham.
11:50Right. How did you end up in Nottingham?
11:52Because I like Robin Hood.
11:54LAUGHTER
11:59The question is, could we live without money?
12:02I mean, presumably there are cultures in the world
12:04that do live without money, aren't there, Professor?
12:06Yes, I think we take money for granted in our society.
12:10Sometimes it helps to look at some examples
12:12where people didn't have money,
12:14like, for instance, prisoners' camps,
12:16where people came up with cigarettes.
12:18Yes, cigarettes as a currency, you mean?
12:20Yes, as a currency, yes, as a medium of exchange.
12:22If, Professor, all money was got rid of tomorrow,
12:26if the system just totally failed and all money was worthless,
12:29what do you think would happen?
12:31Yeah, actually the system would collapse
12:33because society is quite too complex.
12:35We need a lot of transactions,
12:36and the easiest thing is just the paper money they have right now,
12:40because we probably wouldn't have enough cigarettes
12:42to sustain all the exchange that is going on.
12:44LAUGHTER
12:45To sum up, do we need money? We do?
12:47We do, yes.
12:48The economy is just too complex operating without money.
12:50OK, I'm going to take that as an answer.
12:52Thank you, Professor.
12:53OK, bye-bye. Bye-bye.
12:55APPLAUSE
13:03I don't know about you, but I am no clearer than I was a little while ago.
13:06LAUGHTER
13:08So, Skydiver, you asked could we live without money,
13:10and the answer is no, we can't, not as a society.
13:13I'm going to award that round to Greg for his bartering ability.
13:16APPLAUSE
13:20So, let's see who else has a question for us.
13:24Oh, Lord Coe. Shall we have a question from Lord Coe?
13:27Let's see what he would like to know.
13:29Rod, is it wrong to discuss a woman's nipples in front of her?
13:32LAUGHTER
13:36Oh, hang on, here's another one from Kim Jong-un.
13:39He's a good friend of the show, ladies and gentlemen, Kim Jong-un.
13:41He's constantly sending stuff in. He's very active.
13:44Rod, did you see me on our version of the Generation Game last Saturday?
13:48I managed to remember four soaps.
13:50LAUGHTER
13:55Hang on a minute, look at this. Anthony Warhol-Thompson's.
13:58LAUGHTER
14:04Let's have a question from Mr Warhol-Thompson.
14:07Rod, have you ever bashed your nuts on the rim of a bowl
14:09and then fell in a pancake mix?
14:11LAUGHTER
14:13No, I haven't, personally.
14:15Oh, what's next? Oh, it's our next round, which is a famous face asks.
14:19Let's see who we've got tonight.
14:23Doesn't look like him, but apparently that's Justin Lee Collins and Shane Ward.
14:26What would they like to know?
14:28Hi, Rod. After a long, hard day rocking out on stage,
14:32we like to kick back and contemplate the more serious questions in life.
14:36So our question to you, Rod, is,
14:38are animals in the modern world pulling their weight?
14:41Are animals in the modern world pulling their weight?
14:45Doesn't look like Justin Lee Collins, that, does it?
14:47I thought the one on the right was Jordan when I first came round.
14:50LAUGHTER
14:54They're in costume, aren't they, for the show they're doing in London at the moment.
14:57Are they? Can you see what you can find out, Angela?
14:59Are animals pulling their weight is the question.
15:01What do you think, Lloyd? I think it depends on the animal.
15:03Like, a dog, you get sniffer dogs, you get, like, guide dogs for the blind,
15:08you get, like, fire dogs.
15:11LAUGHTER
15:13Hang on a minute. Whoa, whoa.
15:15Did you run out of dogs just before the third one?
15:17LAUGHTER
15:19What's a fire dog?
15:21They put special protective boots on the dog and they...
15:24Are you making this up?
15:26LAUGHTER
15:28If there's a building that's, like, unstable because of a fire,
15:31they think, oh, we won't send any people in, we'll just send the fire dog out.
15:35He's not making it up, because after 9-11,
15:38when they were trying to get into Ground Zero,
15:41all the dogs that they sent in all had special little booties made for them
15:45so that they could walk across all that hot material.
15:48So he's absolutely right. Don't you make fun of him.
15:51LAUGHTER
15:53And they're off.
15:57Here, you can see this dog is really pulling its weight in the garden.
16:01DRUMROLL
16:05LAUGHTER
16:15The best bit about that is that little look to cameras.
16:18It's almost like he's going, yes, I am.
16:23They act as well, dogs.
16:25You're talking about acting dogs?
16:27Well-art did he send us. He was a boy, isn't he?
16:29The character. Yeah.
16:31I got a feeling that the dog playing it was a girl.
16:34Lassie was a girl?
16:36Yeah, Lassie. I know Lassie was a girl,
16:38but I never saw Lassie go to the toilet.
16:41Well, she wouldn't on camera, would she? She was a lady.
16:44No, but well-art did.
16:46Well-art did. It was a female dog, like Lassie,
16:48so he should have squatted, but he was such a good actor,
16:51like a method actor, they would cock a leg against...
16:54Absolute nonsense.
16:56They just had a bit of fishing line on the dog's leg and just...
17:02Why didn't they just get a male dog in?
17:04A male dog in just for the toilet scenes.
17:07Yeah, like a stunt dog.
17:09Sarah, I'm not sure there were that many toilet scenes, to be honest.
17:12You seem to remember them all, though.
17:15It would be amazing if Phil Mitchell was crying about his drug habit
17:18and the camera just...
17:21LAUGHTER
17:24I'm not even a boy!
17:28See, dogs do put their weight, I think.
17:30Others could be working harder.
17:32I feel a bit sorry for them, really.
17:34Horses and stuff like that are sort of obsolete now.
17:36I think horses are going to have to start developing...
17:38Horses are obsolete!
17:40Tell that to a jockey!
17:42That's just a novelty, isn't it?
17:45The Grand National would never be the same again without them, would it?
17:48I think we could be doing more with them.
17:50And one of the things I would suggest doing
17:52is getting elephants involved more.
17:55Elephants are very good at painting
17:57and they could be used in far more painting and decorating.
17:59All right.
18:01And just to prove that he is right,
18:04I think this elephant could be the next Picasso.
18:19That is pretty cool, isn't it?
18:22I think what's happened is that elephant's
18:24just got a really encouraging dad elephant
18:26that's gone,
18:28that's brilliant what you've done there, pet,
18:30when really, it's a bit shit.
18:32It is. We've all had that.
18:34Is he going to put it on his massive elephant fridge?
18:37I guess the advantage of being an elephant painter
18:40is that your pictures are going to sell for peanuts.
18:43Oh!
18:46Why not get them painting the Forth Bridge?
18:48They don't need to any more.
18:50Why not?
18:52Because they've just come out with a new paint
18:54that means that it's going to last forever and ever.
18:56That's one of the reasons why it's not a good idea
18:58for elephants to paint the Forth Bridge.
19:00The thing is, it's going to look ridiculous
19:02that I'm getting so angry,
19:04but the thing is, I know that you believe all these things,
19:06that you think that animals should be utilised in that way
19:09and we should get elephants walking up the Forth Bridge.
19:11I think as long as it's done humanely,
19:13you could easily get an elephant...
19:15How would you do that?
19:17You could get an elephant in a crane
19:19and we could train a load of cranes to fly an elephant up there.
19:22Get some of the facts.
19:24Zebras as dentists. Do you believe that?
19:27And if you don't, here's the proof.
19:29This is a shot from Zurich Zoo
19:32of a zebra cleaning a hippo's teeth.
19:34And the zebra didn't lose his head. Look at that.
19:37There's lots of examples of symbiotic relationships
19:39within nature, aren't there? Yes.
19:41My dad was in Peru and there was a...
19:43He was in the jungle.
19:45It's true! Why are you laughing?
19:47My dad was in Peru and in the jungle. He went on a tour.
19:50Are you confusing your dad with Paddington Bear?
19:53It's true. He was in Peru.
19:56He was in Peru and he was on this tour.
19:59They were showing him round, my dad,
20:01and he was on this tour in the jungle
20:03and the guy lifted up a stone or something
20:05and there was a spider and a frog that lived together.
20:10Oh, that's really sweet.
20:12And it's like that, like the...
20:14They were cohabitating.
20:16They just happened to be under the stone together.
20:18How do you know? With the two toothbrushes there?
20:21How do you know?
20:23Do you know what? Because there's lots of them.
20:25Under every stone there would be a spider and a frog
20:28living together and the spider goes out and hunts
20:31and then the frog cleans the house.
20:33What?
20:35It's true. You may scoff at him, but he's absolutely right
20:39because the frog benefits by eating small invertebrates
20:42that are attracted to prey remains that are left by the spider
20:46and the spider benefits because the frog eats ants,
20:49which is one of the major predators of spiders' eggs
20:52and they do have this wonderful symbiotic relationship.
20:54You're absolutely right.
20:56Beavers and woodpeckers, they live together.
20:59The beaver builds, like, the dam and the house
21:01and then the woodpecker does the more kind of intricate,
21:04does, like, the corving and the...
21:09Angela, are we any closer to getting an answer?
21:11Yes, indeed we are.
21:13The facts are, economically, that working animals in agriculture,
21:16zoos and aquariums across the United Kingdom and Ireland
21:19rake in around £5 billion a year for the economy,
21:23but the real money-spinner is in the pet industry,
21:26with pet owners spending an average of £14.9 billion a year
21:31and a guy called Professor David Martin suggests
21:34that the pleasure that we derive from owning pets
21:37adds value to our lives and he concludes
21:39that, yes, animals are pulling their weight
21:41because if you've really got a very faithful dog,
21:44you can't put a price on that, can you?
21:46I will take that as an answer.
21:56So, Justin and Shane, you asked,
21:57are animals in the modern world pulling their weight
21:59and the answer is, yes, they are.
22:01I'm going to award that round to Sarah.
22:08Next up, it's my quickfire round, the audience asks.
22:11I'm going to try and get through as many questions as I can
22:14before we hear this noise.
22:16Let's face the music and dance.
22:21You don't get the answer button, there's no time for that,
22:23you just get this bell.
22:25So, it's our quickfire round.
22:26Who is first? It's Sam Armstrong.
22:28What's your question, Sam?
22:29Why do men snore more than women?
22:31I tell you, I don't know, but you've got a good bit of attitude on you,
22:33look at that.
22:35What makes you think that they do?
22:37My wife told me that.
22:38How many men has she slept with to find that out?
22:45I've just stopped a bit.
22:47Lesley Dyson, where are you?
22:48Lesley Dyson, are you one of the Dysons
22:50who's made billions off the Hoover?
22:52I wish.
22:53Shane.
22:54Why do a majority of female OAPs have short, permed hair?
22:58I think it's because when they have their photo taken
23:00for their bus pass, they've got their hair permed.
23:03When they have their photo taken for their bus pass,
23:05they've got that hair, and they've got to keep it,
23:07otherwise they'll not get recognised.
23:09I'll do it, I'll do it.
23:13David Maron.
23:15What's your question, David?
23:17On average, how often does a person meet the same stranger
23:21in a lifetime?
23:22Well, just once, because it wouldn't be a stranger.
23:26No, randomly, as if you're walking down the street,
23:29you don't realise you've met the person,
23:31you've walked past them.
23:32How often could that happen to you in a lifetime?
23:34Have you noticed there's an inherent flaw in this question?
23:38How do you know, David?
23:40Nobody's going to know.
23:41If you don't recognise the person,
23:42you don't know you've passed them.
23:43How can anybody...
23:44Statistically speaking, without knowing.
23:46Statistically speaking, 12%.
23:51How did he know this?
23:54Who's next?
23:55Helen Struthers.
23:57Where are you, Helen Struthers?
23:58Hello.
23:59What's your question?
24:00What would you call the eighth dwarf?
24:03I'd call the eighth one...
24:05Stinky.
24:06Why Stinky?
24:07Because he goes with all the others, doesn't he?
24:09You know, happy, grumpy, he's got an E on the end of it.
24:11It just sort of goes, doesn't it?
24:13Yeah.
24:14And also, living with seven others,
24:15he would be after a while, wouldn't he?
24:17Why not, like, a girl's name?
24:19Why not, like, Helen?
24:24I think he should be a more modern dwarf.
24:26We've got Sneezy.
24:27Let's have Jay-Z.
24:30I'm going to go Helen.
24:35Barry, is it Donaghy, is that how you say it?
24:37Yeah.
24:38Yeah, hiya, Barry.
24:39How you doing?
24:40What's your question?
24:41What would the world be like if we could see each other's thoughts?
24:44Quite a hard question you're giving us there, Barry.
24:46What would the world be like if you could see...
24:48I think it would make people...
24:49Wouldn't it make people better?
24:51Wouldn't it make you a more, like, a good person,
24:53if you knew that somebody could read your mind?
24:55I think I'd be a nicer person.
24:57It would censor you, like censorship.
24:58I'd kill less people, you know.
25:00Where would the thoughts appear?
25:02In a little thought bubble just beside your head.
25:04I'd just wear one of those big Rastafarian hats.
25:08What, and tuck your own thoughts in your own hat?
25:12I think Sarah's right,
25:13I think it would curb your thoughts and make you a better person.
25:16That's what I think the world would be like.
25:21That, sir, meant that we were out of time,
25:23but I think we did pretty well there,
25:25and I'm going to award that round to Lloyd
25:27for his massive Rastafarian hat.
25:35Well, that's nearly all the questions we've got for this week,
25:37but there's time for one more.
25:38It is our special guest asks round,
25:40and Amanda, do you have a question for us this week?
25:43I do, Rod. I've always been curious.
25:45What is the most romantic nationality?
25:48What is the most romantic nationality?
25:51Angela, I'm going to set you off, you can see what you can find out.
25:55What do you think is the most romantic nationality?
25:58Not being biased, but I do actually think that Irishmen
26:01are the most romantic nationality.
26:08Irishmen are so romantic, even after 15 pints of Guinness,
26:12they love everyone.
26:15They do love everyone, but that's not romance.
26:18It is in Ireland.
26:20I'll tell you who isn't the most romantic nation,
26:23in my experience, are the Americans.
26:25Because when I was 17, my dad was working over in America,
26:28and I went and I ended up having a nice kiss with a young lady
26:31sitting on a field in the moonlight,
26:34and this is a quote she said to me,
26:36oh, I really like you, I really want you to be number 11.
26:43I wasn't even the one to take her into double figures.
26:47Let's have a factual answer about romance, please.
26:49Apparently, there's been some research done to find out
26:52what are the top three things that women would like men to do
26:55to prove how romantic they are.
26:57Let's let our panel guess to see if they can get
26:59any of the top three things that women...
27:01See, it's always what women want men to do.
27:03It's always what... Go on, what are the top three things...
27:06What do you think, Amanda? What do you like from a man romance-wise?
27:09Massage my feet.
27:11It's a foot massage, is that it?
27:13No.
27:14No, it's not.
27:15I think women are more practical than that.
27:17Is it take the bins out?
27:20Should be.
27:21Is the top three romantic gesture, is it there, take the bins out?
27:25No.
27:26What else? Lloyd?
27:28They're always banging on about leaving the toilet seat down.
27:32What do you think, in the top... In a poll...
27:36In a poll of romantic gestures,
27:38putting the toilet seat up or down is going to be in there?
27:41Is toilet seat down?
27:44I've never bought a woman flowers.
27:46Really? Never in my life.
27:48Really? Yeah.
27:49We were all away, I can't even remember where we were,
27:51but us three were all away, and Lloyd and I bought flowers for people,
27:55and you took a picture of some flowers in the hotel lobby
27:58and sent it to your girlfriend.
28:02Cos he was feeling guilty.
28:06Is taking a picture of some flowers and sending it to your girlfriend?
28:10What about buying flowers? Is buying flowers up there?
28:15What is up there?
28:16The sexy lingerie.
28:17Sexy lingerie, got to be.
28:20You don't like sexy lingerie being bought for you, women, do they?
28:23We do, as long as you get the size right.
28:25And as long as it's, you know, all filled in.
28:31What's the filled in bit?
28:33I didn't mean somebody else wearing it.
28:35I didn't mean somebody else trying it on.
28:38Are you talking about somebody buying you sexy underwear
28:41with another woman in it?
28:44That's really unromantic, that is.
28:46Brought to you this woman in knickers.
28:49There's woman in knickers up there.
28:53What is up there? Come on, somebody.
28:56Well, there are three of them, I'm going to give you them in reverse order.
28:59And the third one is that women would apparently love men
29:02to write a song or a poem about them.
29:05A song or a poem.
29:07What's at number two, then?
29:08At number two is...
29:10Whisk her away somewhere exciting for the weekend.
29:15There's a very thin line between whisking someone away and kidnap.
29:21The first thing that apparently people, women,
29:24would love men to do to prove they're romantic,
29:26cover her eyes and lead her to a lovely surprise.
29:31I just find it unbelievable that that's the first one,
29:33unprompted, that a woman would come out with.
29:35Have you ever been... Have you ever been...
29:37Covered your eyes and led to a lovely...
29:39Led to a lovely surprise?
29:41I've had my head put under a duvet before.
29:46Similar. It is similar.
29:48It's another Dutch oven. Yeah, a Dutch oven.
29:50And what was the lovely surprise?
29:52The lovely surprise was,
29:54oh, it smells like somebody's cooking gravy.
29:58Oh, there's no gravy.
30:00You haven't had that done to you?
30:02I have, and also I've done it.
30:08Angela, what do you think the most romantic nationality is,
30:11just personally?
30:12From personal experience, the French.
30:15Ah, do you? Mm-hm. Go on.
30:17Yeah, just because I also had a French boyfriend for many, many years
30:21who was incredibly romantic.
30:23Like, what did he do? The accent was wonderful.
30:25And one of the most romantic things we ever did was,
30:29in New York, going on July 4th,
30:32he took me on a sailing boat in the River Hudson
30:35where we had dinner on the boat and we sailed up the river
30:38and watched the fireworks as they went off on July 4th.
30:42Very romantic.
30:43Oh, he took you up the Hudson? He took me up the Hudson.
30:50I've got a way.
30:51Yes, I've got a way of working out what the most romantic nationality is.
30:55Have you? Yes, I have, everyone.
30:57So let's go to the lab.
31:06Welcome to the lab, where this week we are trying to determine
31:09which is the most romantic nationality
31:11using the most up-to-date scientific methods we could find.
31:14It's America versus Italy, representing, first up, America,
31:18please welcome Lloyd, the apocalyptic horseman of love, Langford!
31:24Representing Italy, it is Greg Salami-Davis Jr.
31:28Here he comes now, Greg!
31:31I think we can see where most of the budget went on costumes.
31:35That is what I thought was the national dress of Italy and America.
31:39Oh, did you? Yeah.
31:41Right, a massive sausage and a cowboy.
31:43Right, the aim of the game is to save our damsel in distress,
31:46Amanda Byram from certain gunging over there in her tower.
31:50Basically, Greg and Lloyd, you must compete to cross this wall of death
31:53and behind there we have Sarah Millican and Angela Rippon
31:57who are going to attempt to punch you off.
31:59Right, love contenders, are you ready? Yes! Yee-haw!
32:03OK, in that case, go!
32:05Come on, Lloyd! Save me!
32:07Our valiant hero, the love stallion!
32:12Oh, it's a superb punch from Sarah Millican there.
32:15Come on, Greg! Up you get, Sergeant Pepper Army.
32:17Come on, Greg, you can do it! Save me, please!
32:20It's your agent!
32:22Be quiet! It's your agent!
32:25That's it, Greg!
32:28Come on, you can do it!
32:34Never mind that, come on!
32:39You can do this, you're right, this is against the clock, you know.
32:42This is against the clock, come on, yeah.
32:45Come on, Lloyd, get your horses ready.
32:51I'm coming, Amanda!
32:53Come on, Amanda!
32:55As long as Angela Rippon...
32:59No, you can do it! Come on!
33:06Is that a pass or is that your act?
33:08Please, please, please!
33:14Now the Sergeant Pepper Army, or the love stallion,
33:17were able to help Amanda Byram.
33:19She inevitably gets gunged, I'm afraid.
33:24I'm happy and glad.
33:26I think we've established fairly scientifically
33:28that neither the USA nor Italy are the most romantic nation.
33:32So, Angela, it leaves us to find out who is the most romantic nation.
33:37Well, Rod, according to a survey that was held in 2009,
33:40the French are still the most romantic nation,
33:44with 32% of the vote.
33:46Italians came second with 22%,
33:49whilst in third place, the Irish, with 18!
33:53CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
33:57I will take that as an answer.
33:59Can you press the button, please, for us, Angela?
34:01And I am going to award that round to Amanda,
34:04because look at the state of her.
34:08That is pretty much it for tonight, ladies and gentlemen.
34:11So, people of Britain, if you've got a question,
34:13you can tweet hashtag AskRod on Twitter,
34:15but for tonight, it is thanks to Amanda Byram,
34:18Sarah Millican, Greg Davison, Lloyd Lampard,
34:22and, of course, our authenticator, Angela Rippon, ladies and gentlemen.
34:26I'm Rod Gilbert, and you can ask me literally anything.
34:29Good night.
34:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
34:37We have Paltrow and Kate Winslet star in film 2011.
34:41That's next here on BBC One.
34:43And the Griffins are put into a witness protection scheme
34:46and relocate to the Deep South.
34:48Uh-oh, family guy on BBC Three.
34:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE