• 6 months ago
First broadcast 15th November 2010.

Rhod Gilbert

Greg Davies
Lloyd Langford
Jo Whiley

Kaye Adams
Erin Boag
Katy Brand
Zach Galifianakis
Todd Phillips
Glenn Ross

Category

📺
TV
Transcript
00:00CHEERY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC
00:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:22Tonight on Ask Rob Gilbert, our special guests are...
00:26She'll Strictly Stick To The Facts, it's Erin Bogue!
00:30And the very impressionable Katie Brand!
00:34They're here every week, it's actor and comedian Greg Davies!
00:39And it's Rod's flatmate, Lloyd!
00:43Ladies and gentlemen, Ask Rod Gilbert!
00:50Hello and welcome, yes, my name is Rod Gilbert
00:52and tonight my job is to find the answers to the questions that keep us all awake at night.
00:56Sometimes the answer to a question is really obvious.
00:59Like, why is George Lucas releasing the Star Wars films in 3D?
01:03The answer is obviously public demand.
01:05I, for one, enjoyed the original cinema release, the VHS version of the DVD,
01:08the DVD special edition, the DVD box set with extra features,
01:11and the Blu-ray DVD, and now I'm dying to see just how crap The Phantom Menace looks.
01:15It appears to jut out of my TV screen a little bit.
01:19But some questions are more complicated and go to the heart of who we are as human beings.
01:23Questions like, when I'm in a departure lounge waiting for my flight,
01:26why is that little screen that just used to tell me what gate to go to
01:29starting telling me to relax and shop?
01:31What do you mean, relax and shop?
01:33I can't relax and shop, it's either or.
01:35Make up your mind.
01:36You might as well tell me to lie down and do the Lombarda,
01:38or climb a tree and fetch a turnip.
01:40And anyway, stop telling me what to do.
01:42I can handle proceed to gate or wait in lounge,
01:45but what's with the lifestyle advice?
01:46You're an automated flight information system, not Trini and Susanna.
01:50When I'm waiting for a bus, the screen just says,
01:52bus due in seven minutes.
01:53It doesn't say, bus due in seven minutes.
01:55Ring your mother, make a Christmas list, frost your teeth, your breath stinks.
01:59And another thing, departure lounge people,
02:01if I do enter your competition and win it before I board my flight,
02:04what am I going to do with that ruddy Ferrari?
02:07If I didn't get 200 millilitres of toothpaste past the woman downstairs,
02:10how am I going to get through security with 200 grand's worth of high-powered bright red machinery?
02:14I had four pence in my pocket last time the metal detector went berserk.
02:18I'm going to start bleeping like a Gordon Ramsay documentary about swearing
02:21when I drive through at 197 miles an hour.
02:24Anyway, on with the show.
02:31In a world full of lies and deceit,
02:33we need someone with credibility to help us find the answers to our questions.
02:36So as always, we begin by asking, who is tonight's authenticator?
02:40She's narrated a six-part documentary series about the Merchant Navy.
02:44She's once won a fiercely contested episode of Celebrity Mastermind,
02:47beating off stiff competition from a premiership footballer,
02:50Bungle from Rainbow and this pineapple.
02:53She's the first ever host of the award-winning daytime series Loose Women.
02:59It's Kay Adams.
03:11Hello, Kay. Thanks for coming on the show.
03:13Pleasure. Deja vu. I was just back there.
03:16Was it Denise Welsh?
03:18Well, actually, I was thinking, you know,
03:20some of those ladies have got better stubble than you do, Lloyd.
03:24Anyway, thanks for coming on the show. How are you?
03:26I'm very well indeed, thank you.
03:28You know, a little bird told me, i.e. the internet,
03:30that you once turned down a hundred grand to get your kit off.
03:36Is that true?
03:37No, it's not true. That story got slightly mixed.
03:39So you did get your kit off?
03:41No.
03:42Would you do it, though, Kay?
03:43What?
03:44Would you do it?
03:45Would you?
03:46For a hundred grand?
03:47Yeah.
03:48I'd do it for 50 quid.
03:50What, you'd get your kit off?
03:51For a hundred grand. I'd pose naked with a tortoise.
03:55The question is, you've got to be clear about this,
03:57are you going to show your bits in the magazine?
04:00What if there were three tortoises over your bits?
04:03Yeah, I'd do that, yeah.
04:04Two terrapins and a turtle.
04:11Yes, Kay, do your hundred grand.
04:13How they measure sizes now, where you come from,
04:16I think you're about four tortoises.
04:21You've gone up a tortoise.
04:26Thanks for joining us, Kay. How are you going to help us tonight?
04:28Well, Rod, I'm going to be providing you and the lovely panel here
04:30with facts, lots of information throughout the show,
04:33which should help to bring us closer to finding out the answers
04:36to your burning questions.
04:37Wonderful.
04:38And when I think we finally have an answer, I will do this.
04:44I mean, you were with Peter Shutton, weren't you?
04:47Yes, I was.
04:49Did he keep saying the glitter ball and going to save it all the time?
04:54No, but he did, he danced like a goalkeeper.
04:56Did he?
04:57He danced like a goalkeeper?
04:59He did.
05:00Well, when he had to use his arms.
05:02Yeah.
05:03That was a goalkeeper dance, wasn't it?
05:05He should have tried disco.
05:08Anyway, on with the show. Let's find out who wants to know what.
05:11Who wants to know what? Who have we got tonight?
05:14Simon Cowell.
05:16Woo-hoo-hoo!
05:18We shouldn't be saying, because last week we did a whole big thing
05:22where everybody was dressed as Simon Cowell,
05:24and we should go a little bit easier on him this week.
05:26Let's find out what he'd like to know.
05:28Rod, I'm thinking of going on Who Do You Think You Are?
05:31to look into my family tree. Do you reckon it's a good idea?
05:34Well, Simon, I heard you might be going on the programme,
05:37and I've done a little bit of homework tracing your long-lost brothers.
05:39I'm pleased to say we can finally put you in touch with them.
05:42Here you go.
05:46Let's see Simon alongside.
05:51Come on, we did a proper moustache on him.
05:54There he is.
06:03Yes, here you go.
06:04Ledeen Coyle.
06:06Ledeen Coyle.
06:09We're in Belfast.
06:12It's not often I get to break that accent out.
06:15She said recently that she wanted to do a cookery show.
06:20And she said her favourite food, when slightly challenged on this by her...
06:24She said she did like food, and that she was particularly...
06:27And as proof that she loved food,
06:29she said she liked eating Lucky Charms and potatoes.
06:33Which to me just sounded like she's confused in the moment,
06:36flustered she just thought of two Irish things.
06:40Lucky Charms and potatoes.
06:44I can't do the accent, Lloyd, can you?
06:46I can only really do one accent.
06:50Who else have we got?
06:52Stephen Hawking.
06:53I notice we're not all trying to do his voice.
07:00It's Zach Galifianakis, is that how you pronounce it?
07:03Galifianakis.
07:04Galifianakis.
07:05Zach Galifianakis.
07:06Gal.
07:07Gal.
07:08Galifianakis.
07:09Galifianakis.
07:10I tell you what, I'll do his first name, you come in with Galifianakis.
07:12Oh, I just did it.
07:15I'll never do that again.
07:16It's Zach.
07:17Galifianakis.
07:18And Todd.
07:19Phillips.
07:23Let's see what they want to know.
07:25Hi, Rod.
07:26We've just wrapped on our new film in which two unlikely characters
07:29end up on a road trip together across the US.
07:32We've been thinking about the fastest way to get around
07:35and it got us wondering, will we ever evolve to have wings?
07:41The question is, will we ever evolve to have wings, panel?
07:44Can you see what you can find out, Kay?
07:46I certainly shall.
07:47Erin, would you like to have some wings?
07:49I would love to have some wings, yes.
07:51Instead of your arms, or as well?
07:53I would like ones on the back.
07:54Like little angel ones?
07:55Like little angel ones, yes.
07:56What would you do if you had wings?
07:58I'd fly.
08:03We wouldn't need cars any more, would we?
08:05No.
08:06But then we'd get a lot of jams in the sky, wouldn't we?
08:10You wouldn't get jams in the sky, Erin.
08:12You never see birds in a traffic jam.
08:15You know when they're in a V, birds,
08:16you know they're doing that deliberately?
08:18Not just one in the back going, this is ridiculous.
08:21LAUGHTER
08:29So, Kay, have we got anything else for us, please?
08:32Will we ever evolve wings?
08:34Well, to be honest, I really don't know if this will help,
08:36but take a look.
08:37OK.
08:42LAUGHTER
08:50LAUGHTER
08:58APPLAUSE
09:08I'm not so sure what he was trying to do.
09:10He was trying to be a mascot and be, you know,
09:13and bounce around and be jaunty
09:15and whip the crowd up into a frenzy,
09:17but I'm not sure we needed the mime of him going...
09:20I think it's factually inaccurate as well,
09:22because the swan is the only bird with a penis.
09:30You do know that was a minor costume, right?
09:34Yeah, but even so, he should have stayed in character.
09:40My dad's budgie died in a terrible way, you know.
09:42Your dad's budgie died in a terrible way?
09:44I can see the story coming on.
09:45He was lying around the kitchen, Joey.
09:47Lovely blue budgie.
09:48And he thought he saw the garden
09:50and decided he wanted to go out to feed him,
09:52but he didn't realise there was a window
09:54between this room and the garden,
09:56and so he flew full tail into the window,
09:59smacked his face against the window,
10:01fell into the sink, stunned, drowned, gone.
10:06I think I can top that.
10:09When I was teaching, I used to...
10:11I used to be a teacher.
10:14I used to do a game with the kids to kill time,
10:17where we'd all sit round and talk about something
10:19that had really made us laugh,
10:21and all the kids were showing these really hilarious stories.
10:24And it got to this one girl, and she couldn't stop laughing.
10:27She was in absolute hysterics.
10:29My budgie was flying around the kitchen,
10:31and then it accidentally flew into the deep fat fryer.
10:38Just for a second, it came out.
10:40No, no!
10:44LAUGHTER
10:47Just before it was finally deep fried.
10:50Oh, no!
10:53If you could be any bird you'd like, what would you be?
10:56Um, I don't know, probably a nice robin or something.
10:59A nice robin? Yeah.
11:01Cos I think people like robins.
11:03I'd be an owl. I love the owl.
11:05Bad luck. Owls, don't touch them. Bad luck.
11:08The only person ever to say an owl's bad luck.
11:10No, my mum says it as well. Really?
11:12I wonder where you got it from.
11:16I was at a wedding the other day, and there was an owl in the wedding.
11:21Was it with the bride or the groom?
11:24It was like an outdoor wedding.
11:26Like an outdoor wedding. So it was in the tree somewhere?
11:29No, Erin, let me finish!
11:31I wouldn't have said there was an owl at the wedding
11:34if he was just in a tree nearby.
11:36I don't include all the woodland creatures in the vicinity as guests.
11:41It was in a field, and there was a little marquee,
11:43and there were sandwiches and things and drinks and stuff,
11:45and then there was a welly-throwing thing,
11:47there was a crazy golf, and there was an owl tent.
11:51I don't think you were at a wedding, I think you were at a fete.
11:56I was not at a fete, I was at a wedding!
11:58There was an owl thing in between the welly-throwing and the...
12:01It was really badly placed.
12:03It was in between the welly-throwing and the coconut shite.
12:06But I found out, I learnt a load about owls,
12:08and I thought they're the coolest bird, I would love to be an owl.
12:10They turn their heads all the way around, right?
12:12Yeah, they can turn their heads.
12:13How far can they turn their head?
12:14Well, all the way.
12:16Imagine an owl just got round there and went,
12:18Oh, God!
12:20I thought it was only half way.
12:22No, they can turn them all the way round, 360.
12:24Kids keep going 360, like, 30 times, and then just go...
12:29In fact, you get their head and go...
12:34You can actually use them as a hand blender, can't you?
12:36You can.
12:40OK, back to the question, everyone.
12:42Have you got anything else that might draw us closer to whether we should evolve wings?
12:45Well, yeah, we're talking about evolution here,
12:47but there are people, of course, who don't wait for evolution.
12:49Take a look at this.
13:07APPLAUSE
13:13That's amazing, isn't it?
13:14That is amazing.
13:15Would you do that, Erin?
13:16I would love to do something like that, yeah.
13:18Would you? Would you do it?
13:19Yeah, I would.
13:20I'd be terrified.
13:22It's easy.
13:23You haven't done it.
13:24I do it all the time.
13:26There's only one man that does that all the time,
13:28and his name is Jeb Corliss,
13:29and he's the bass-jumping, like, amazing thing on YouTube.
13:31Yeah, I know.
13:32No, I know Jeb.
13:33Makes a big fuss, makes a big song.
13:36Have a look, OK?
13:37Jeb!
13:42Jeb.
13:46Quite like.
13:53I had no idea that you were into that wingsuit stuff.
13:56Yeah.
13:57It's not the trendiest wingsuit you've got there, though.
13:59No, it's not, is it?
14:00You'd think it'd been made in, what, I don't know,
14:02ten minutes before the show, wouldn't you?
14:04What have you got for us, Kay, about our life with wings,
14:07or getting us closer to an answer?
14:09OK, well, I think we need an expert on this one,
14:11and we've got an expert for you, Rod.
14:13We've got Dr Bill Sellers,
14:14and he is from the University of Manchester.
14:18Dr Bill Sellers, from the University of Manchester.
14:21Are you there?
14:22I am, hello.
14:23What can I do for you?
14:24Ah, you can do for us...
14:25You can solve some little debates that we're having in the studio here.
14:29Uh-huh.
14:30Firstly, will we, just to get straight down to the question,
14:33ever evolve wings?
14:35Um, the thing is, we probably aren't going to evolve anything at all.
14:39We're probably just going to die out,
14:40because that's what happens to most things.
14:43Thanks for being on the show.
14:44That's a very, uh...
14:45Merry Christmas to you, too, Doctor.
14:47That's a very rosy view of life you take there.
14:50If you're very, very lucky,
14:51then you're one of the successful species,
14:53and you might, what we call,
14:54adaptively radiate into all sorts of different things,
14:57and you get lots and lots of different sorts of offspring,
15:00lots of different types, you know,
15:01flying forms and swimming forms and burrowing forms.
15:04So your advice to me personally is,
15:06win the lottery, become very successful...
15:08Have lots of children.
15:09And then have lots of children,
15:10who are, some of them are reptiles,
15:11some of them are birds, some of them are fish,
15:13some of them are going to live in tunnels,
15:14others are herdless, that kind of thing, yeah?
15:16It's really, a lot of good luck has to go in your way
15:19for it to work that way.
15:20Can an owl rotate its head 360 degrees?
15:24Um, no.
15:26Yes, it can, Doctor, you just haven't seen it.
15:29About how much? About how much can it rotate?
15:31Well, you know, they can certainly rotate their heads
15:34far enough around so they can bite you
15:36if you're holding them at the back.
15:37So, you know, they're pretty good,
15:38but they can't go all the way around.
15:40About 270, would you say?
15:42Well, a bit more than 180, a bit less than 270.
15:45Is the swan the only bird with a penis?
15:48I don't know, I've not looked at all the birds' penises.
15:53Can we get all of these questions out?
15:54Is it acceptable to use an owl as a hand blender?
16:01Have you ever tried holding an owl?
16:03I haven't, no.
16:05I have, but not face down in a smoothie.
16:10Listen, Doctor, thanks very much for your time,
16:12I will take that as an answer, thank you.
16:20So, Zach and Todd, you asked if we would ever evolve to have wings
16:23and the answer is we are unlikely to.
16:25We could graft them on, apparently,
16:26but it wouldn't be very practical.
16:28Now, according to Darwin's theory of evolution,
16:31we came from a lava pool, we evolved into beetles,
16:33then we developed wings, then we married an unstable Georgie
16:36who took all our money.
16:38This isn't Darwin's theory of evolution,
16:40it's Paul McCartney's autobiography.
16:46Let's have a look, what have we got?
16:48Peter Andre.
16:50Let's have a look what Peter wants to know.
16:52Peter says, Rod, any idea whose CD this is?
16:54It's got my name on it but I don't remember buying it.
17:01That's you, that's you, Peter.
17:03What else have we got?
17:05Ooh!
17:08I was wondering when God was going to send in a question.
17:11God, what would you like to know?
17:13Is my son's birthday coming up?
17:15Tell me, if your child is born on Christmas Day,
17:17do you get them two sets of presents or just the one?
17:22There's two issues here.
17:24One is that when Jesus was born, it wasn't Christmas Day.
17:27Whoa, whoa, whoa!
17:29Are you saying Jesus wasn't born on Christmas Day?
17:32No, I'm saying the main point here is that Jesus was probably born in April or May.
17:35Whoa!
17:37The time of year that all of the things in the Bible story would have been happening,
17:41like shepherds having their flocks out
17:43and the configuration of the stars and the certain types of astrology
17:46would have put it around April or May.
17:50I did do a theology degree, yeah.
17:52Why would the shepherds not have had their flocks out?
17:54It's cold and nobody wasn't born in Bristol.
17:57You can't have Christmas in April or May.
17:59No.
18:00It'd be ridiculous.
18:01The clash is with Easter and Jesus.
18:05Let's try this. It's my son's birthday coming up,
18:07so tell me, if your child is born on Christmas Day,
18:09do you get them two sets of presents or one?
18:11Well, chill out, God. It's only November.
18:13You created the world in six days.
18:15I'm sure in 39 shopping days you'll be able to lay your hands on a tangerine
18:18in a tin of Quality Street.
18:20Now, before the show started,
18:21you at home had the chance to send questions in to me,
18:24so let's look at what you wanted to know.
18:27Who have we got?
18:28Ah!
18:29It's a couple called James and Kate McIntosh.
18:32Let's see what they want to know.
18:34Hello, Rod.
18:35We were watching the show last week
18:37and Kate laughed so hard that her waters broke,
18:39so thanks for getting this little fella to us a week early.
18:42So my question to you is,
18:44what are the most unusual methods of inducing labour
18:47that you've heard of?
18:50Any interesting inducement things in New Zealand, Erin?
18:53Is there any old wives' tales?
18:55No, I did hear somebody once say,
18:57squeeze her like she's a tube of toothpaste
19:00that's down at the top.
19:01What?
19:02I don't know.
19:03We're just having a conversation.
19:04That's what they do in New Zealand, to induce a birth.
19:06You literally start at the top of a woman's head
19:08and squeeze them all the way down.
19:10Roll her head down.
19:13I've heard of nipple stimulation.
19:18So have I, Lloyd.
19:19What's that got to do with this question?
19:25Nipple stimulation works,
19:27but you have to do it on the woman.
19:31What else have you heard of?
19:32A pineapple.
19:35I'll tell you what,
19:36someone once said,
19:38Pineapple.
19:41I'll tell you what.
19:42What do you do with it?
19:44There's an enzyme in pineapple called bromelain,
19:47which apparently softens the cervix
19:50and so makes giving birth even easier,
19:53but the problem is you need to eat seven pineapples.
20:04James and Kate,
20:05you asked what's the most unusual way to induce childbirth
20:07and I have randomly decided
20:08that it is to grab a lady by the head
20:10and roll her downwards like a tube of toothpaste
20:12while stimulating the nipples
20:13and applying the juice of seven pineapples.
20:17OK, now let's see what you, the studio audience, want to know.
20:21Who have we got?
20:23Er, oh!
20:25Gene Simmons from Kiss!
20:27Oh, no, it's some bloke with a beard pretending to be him.
20:29It's Brian McCart.
20:30Is Brian McCart in the audience today?
20:33Hello, Brian.
20:34Hiya.
20:35How are you?
20:36Good. What is your question, sir?
20:38If we can breed micro pigs and micro goats,
20:41can Science Evolved breed micro gorillas and micro elephants?
20:45If we can breed micro pigs and micro goats,
20:48can we breed micro gorillas and micro elephants?
20:51Yeah.
20:52Can you see what you can find out for us, Kate?
20:54Yeah, I will.
20:55Are you a micro pig fan, Erin?
20:57Not really.
20:58I mean, I wouldn't want a little pig at home,
21:00but I'd like a little gorilla,
21:01cos, you know, those little micro pigs,
21:03they're really tiny, aren't they?
21:05I have them in the house,
21:06and I think they even fit out of the cat flap.
21:09They're sort of small.
21:10But I'd like a little gorilla at home.
21:12So would I.
21:13I'd make him stand on top of the ketchup bottle,
21:15and I'd throw Airfix models at him and recreate it.
21:18King Kong.
21:20Are you a fan of the micro pig?
21:21Yes, I would like a micro pig.
21:22Are you? Would you like...
21:23No, you wouldn't like them? Why not?
21:25I don't think micro pigs exist.
21:27Yes, they do.
21:28What do you mean you don't think micro pigs exist?
21:30I keep reading all these stories in the newspapers
21:32where somebody goes,
21:33oh, I met this guy and he sold me a micro pig,
21:35and he was about this big, and he was brilliant,
21:37and then six weeks later, now it weighs two and a half tonnes,
21:40and it's smashed up my living room.
21:43You weren't sold a micro pig, you were sold a piglet.
21:47That's right, they do exist.
21:48We had the same argument with microchips the other day,
21:50and I showed you a box.
21:54OK, any information for us that might get us closer
21:57to an answer of whether we might be able to breed micro elephants
22:00and micro grizzlies?
22:01Well, breeding is quite a difficult thing, actually.
22:03Breeding is difficult?
22:04Yeah, it's hard enough at the best of times,
22:06as you will witness with this.
22:08Oh.
22:09Oh.
22:16Can we see that again?
22:25I hear you correctly say, or poor horse.
22:27No, I said, was that a cow or a horse?
22:29Because there was a horse, if you look back at it,
22:31there was actually a horse standing behind it.
22:33What, there's a horse watching?
22:34Where?
22:35No, wait, when it goes by you,
22:37you'll see a horse in the background.
22:39Where?
22:40Watch.
22:41Really sinister horse.
22:42Watch, watch, watch, hold on.
22:44Here it comes.
22:45Oh, yes!
22:48Anything else for us?
22:49Well, do you want the definitive on this?
22:50Well, yeah, why not?
22:51Yeah, we've got it.
22:52A zoologist, Professor William Amos,
22:54says that it would indeed be possible,
22:56but only if you took an isolated population of gorillas or elephants
23:00and somehow encouraged only the smallest individuals to breed.
23:04So, I mean, is it possible?
23:06It is, but it would take several hundred years of selection
23:09to cause this significant change in size.
23:15Well, that's nearly all the questions we've had sent in this series
23:18from all over the world,
23:19but it's time for one more literally out of this world.
23:23Who is it?
23:25It is Theodore on board the ISS,
23:29which is the International Space Station.
23:55Is that a micro pig floating by?
23:58Genuinely a question from the International Space Station.
24:01How exciting.
24:02That's Theodore.
24:03What do you think, Greg, what do we miss more, the sun or the moon?
24:05Well, obviously the sun.
24:07What do you mean, obviously?
24:08Well, the moon's rubbish, isn't it?
24:10Why is the moon rubbish?
24:11It affects two things, the tides.
24:13Who wants tides?
24:14People get drowned in tides.
24:15And moths.
24:16Who cares about moths?
24:17They're like stupid birds.
24:20I would happily press a button now
24:21and get rid of all moths and tides.
24:23Boop!
24:24And the moon.
24:25But aren't women meant to be governed by the moon?
24:28Fine.
24:29Boop!
24:37Which do you prefer, the sun or the moon?
24:39Which one do we miss more,
24:40which one's more important to the planet?
24:42Well, no, I have to go with Greg
24:44and sort of slightly grumpily say the moon.
24:48I have to grumpily say, well, the sun, obviously.
24:51But still, the moon has a certain...
24:54Has a certain what?
24:55Has a certain charm, doesn't it?
24:57And I do go a bit funny on full moons as well.
25:00I sleep very badly when it's a full moon.
25:02So maybe in that sense, maybe I would prefer the moon to go.
25:05But I do always have a very...
25:06You sleep very badly in a full moon?
25:08Yes.
25:09You thought about getting a roof?
25:12I do go with that, though.
25:14I do think the moon is more powerful than...
25:17When I was teaching,
25:18I didn't realise how badly a full moon would affect kids.
25:20It makes them go loopy.
25:22It's a lunatic, isn't it?
25:23That's what a lunatic is.
25:25And criminal activity increases when there's a full moon as well.
25:28Oh, it does.
25:29I have to back Katie up on this.
25:30Research by Sussex Police showed that a correlation
25:32between the full moon and a rise in crime...
25:34Of course there's more crime in that,
25:36but it's not because there's anything mysterious
25:38or because it's the moon having its unusual effects.
25:40It's simply because criminals have got the good sense
25:42to go out when they can see.
25:44You try mugging somebody in the pitch dark,
25:46you tip out your loot and you go,
25:47look at this, a bonsai tree, a couple of receipts
25:49and a bit of dog food.
25:51Back to the question.
25:52Sun or the moon?
25:53I think the moon itself is probably pretty depressed, isn't it?
25:56It's certainly got a dark side.
26:00Have you got any facts for us, Kate,
26:01that might take us closer to an answer?
26:03It's true to say the sun is extremely powerful,
26:05but you do have to remember that the moon
26:07can still blot it out in a total eclipse.
26:09Take a look at this.
26:16Look at that!
26:17Look at that!
26:40Look at that!
26:42It's the most incredible thing I've ever seen, actually.
26:50Have you ever seen...
26:51Aren't there irregular occurrences down your way, aren't there?
26:53They're not regular, it's just...
26:54Well, I say regular, I mean...
26:55There are certain places you see them, aren't there?
26:58I don't know, I can't work it out.
26:59Aren't you supposed to look through a little bit of paper
27:01with a hole in it?
27:02Yeah.
27:03Yes, yes, I've heard that.
27:04You'll get blinded if you do that.
27:05They give you special glasses.
27:06Yeah, to do it, I admit.
27:08Aren't you supposed to make a hole and then look through that?
27:11No.
27:12You make a hole in a bit of paper,
27:14put it up to the sun,
27:15and then put another bit of paper behind the hole.
27:18Oh, yeah, that's it.
27:19Oh, is that what you're supposed to do?
27:21Yeah, I just went...
27:22Literally, just went like that.
27:27Really?
27:28Yes.
27:29I thought that's what you did.
27:30I told loads of people to do it.
27:32You go and look at the sun with your naked eye,
27:34then how is making a hole in a bit of paper
27:37Well, I know, I didn't understand it myself.
27:41What else have you got for us, Kate?
27:42Well, I've got some more facts about the sun here.
27:44It takes eight minutes for the light from the sun to get to Earth,
27:47travelling at 700 million miles an hour.
27:49If the sun were to disappear,
27:50we would only have eight minutes of sunlight left.
27:53What would you do?
27:54Eight minutes of sunlight left.
27:55At seven minutes and 59 seconds, I'd do this.
27:58Hey, everyone, watch this.
28:00I tell you what, the...
28:02Talking of the sun and stuff,
28:03did you see those two blokes who were trying to cool the Earth down
28:08because of climate change and stuff?
28:10By getting spray from waves and foam,
28:12and then they were firing that up into the clouds in rockets.
28:15Two of them.
28:16And then that would make the clouds shinier,
28:18and then the sun's rays would bounce back up,
28:20and then the clouds would be shiny again.
28:22And then they'd be like,
28:23and then they'd be like,
28:24and then they'd be like,
28:25and then they'd be like,
28:26and then they'd be like,
28:27and then the sun's rays would bounce back up,
28:29and it would keep the Earth cool.
28:30Yeah, but wouldn't you just make the sun hotter?
28:32You can't make the sun hotter, it's the sun.
28:34It's already boiling.
28:35It's already boiling.
28:38You can't get the sun any hotter than it is.
28:40It could get hotter than boiling, couldn't it?
28:42How is it going to get hotter than boiling?
28:43Well, I went on holiday to Egypt,
28:45on the first day it was boiling,
28:46on the second day it was hotter, it was scorching.
28:52Well, I mean, it is apparently believed
28:54that the moon is responsible for why we humans exist on Earth.
28:57However, now that we don't need it so much,
28:59the sun, like the moon, can cause tides.
29:01On the flip side, if the sun were to disappear,
29:03we would be plunged into darkness,
29:05and the Earth's temperature would drop to below zero Fahrenheit in a week,
29:08and all the plants and the living organisms would be unable to survive.
29:12So that's our answer?
29:14That's your answer.
29:15Oh!
29:21So, Theodore, you asked which did we miss more,
29:23the sun or the moon, and the answer is the sun.
29:26As it's nearly the end of the series,
29:28let's take one more question.
29:30Who have we got?
29:32Let's have a look.
29:34Ah, it's Jeff Goldblum.
29:36Let's have a question from Jeff.
29:41Hi, Ron. It's Jeff Goldblum here.
29:43I've been watching the show for seven weeks now,
29:45and frankly, I'm sick of seeing Lloyd getting stitched up.
29:48What I want to know is, when's that grotesque,
29:50critically obese, swamp-toothed Greg going to get his comeuppance?
29:57Jeff Goldblum.
29:58Good question from Jeff Goldblum there.
30:00What do you reckon, Lloyd?
30:01I think Jeff makes a fair point.
30:03So do I.
30:04I think Jeff makes a fair point as well, Greg.
30:06You've got away pretty cleanly off this series so far,
30:08if I remember rightly, if I cast my mind back over all seven shows.
30:11I wasn't victimising Lloyd for any of that.
30:13It's in the name of science.
30:15Well, maybe in the name of science,
30:17some serious experiment should be conducted on you.
30:19Oh, God.
30:20Greg, off you go.
30:31Ladies and gentlemen, this week's experiment,
30:33Greg is going to see what life is like without the sun.
30:37Right.
30:38Greg, you're on an exercise bike
30:40and you might have thought that without the sun,
30:42you might A, get cold,
30:43and B, you might need to generate your own electricity.
30:46So I think you should start pedalling.
30:48Right.
30:49And I should let you know,
30:50if we think that you're not pedalling fast enough
30:52and the temperature drops,
30:53then you will feel a temperature drop.
30:55Of course, if the sun disappeared,
30:57Lloyd, who's holding an eye mask,
30:59it would be dark.
31:00Oh, yeah.
31:01Pop that on.
31:02Of course it would.
31:03I imagine you haven't started pedalling enough yet, Greg.
31:05I imagine the temperature would already be dropping now.
31:07All right, I'm pedalling.
31:08Pedal, pedal to keep yourself awake.
31:09I imagine you're not pedalling fast enough.
31:10Lloyd, make the temperature drop, will you please?
31:12Just quickly get out of the place.
31:14Oh, Greg, you've stopped pedalling.
31:17You've stopped pedalling, Greg.
31:19You don't want to do that.
31:20You want to keep it going, I would.
31:21Keep it going.
31:22I imagine that without the sun for a little,
31:24any length of time,
31:25his pigmentation would start to disappear, wouldn't it, Lloyd?
31:28Wouldn't he start to get very pasty, I imagine?
31:30Let's see what Greg might look like.
31:32Oh, he has gone very pasty.
31:35Keep pedalling, Greg.
31:37I imagine people would start to use some kind of fake tan, wouldn't they?
31:41They're bound to, quickly.
31:42Let's get some fake tan.
31:43He looks very peaky at the moment.
31:47He seems to have stopped pedalling again, Lloyd.
31:49The temperature might be dropping again.
31:51The temperature might be dropping again.
31:53I imagine, I imagine that a world without the sun as well,
31:57that night animals would be running riot.
31:59Urban foxes would be going through our rubbish.
32:01I imagine there'd be bin bags full of rubbish going everywhere,
32:04wouldn't there, Lloyd?
32:06Urban foxes.
32:08Oh, it would be awful.
32:10Keep pedalling, Greg.
32:12Keep pedalling.
32:14I imagine, Lloyd, as well,
32:15would it be very difficult to find food?
32:17There'd probably be only tin food available, wouldn't there?
32:20Only tin food, I imagine.
32:22Let's get some nice tin food.
32:26Oh, don't tell me that in the darkness,
32:29Greg has picked up dog food by mistake.
32:32He has!
32:33Oh, but he's...
32:34That's ridiculous!
32:35Lloyd, have you got anything there that might take the taste away
32:38of that horrible dog food?
32:39Is there anything you can lay your hands on
32:41that might keep Greg warm at the same time as taking the taste away?
32:45That better not have been dog food, genuinely.
32:47Look, look what we've found hanging over from show four.
32:51Do you have to remember show four, Greg,
32:53when you fed Lloyd some tin?
32:54Try this.
32:55Oh, no!
32:56Try that.
32:58Have a good old bite of that.
32:59Have a good old bite of that.
33:00And he stopped pedalling again.
33:01Oh, no!
33:02He stopped pedalling.
33:03Oh, no!
33:10I'm pedalling!
33:11Pete!
33:14Oh, no!
33:17I imagine...
33:18Oh, my God!
33:20Did you not enjoy the chilli from show four, Greg?
33:23Oh, my God!
33:25You seemed a lot happier when you fed that to Lloyd.
33:27With the ice.
33:29Listen, I imagine, Lloyd,
33:30cos if... Would Greg be the only person left?
33:32He'd have to keep the human race going, wouldn't he?
33:34He'd have to try and reproduce with whoever was around.
33:37I imagine, with the sun gone and everybody dead,
33:40it's probably you and only the strongest, fittest people would survive,
33:43isn't it, Lloyd?
33:44That's entirely true.
33:45I'm afraid to let you know, Greg,
33:46that the only other person left alive is Glenn Ross,
33:49Britain's current strongest man.
33:52Oh, no!
33:53Oh, no, Greg!
33:54Oh, Greg!
33:55It seems that you and Greg are...
33:57Oh, no!
33:58Oh, no!
33:59Oh, no!
34:01Oh, no!
34:02Oh, no!
34:03Oh, no!
34:04Oh, no!
34:05Oh, no!
34:06Oh, no!
34:07Oh, no!
34:08Oh, no!
34:10Oh, no!
34:11Oh, no!
34:12Oh, no!
34:13Oh, no!
34:14Oh, no!
34:15Oh, no!
34:18Well, that's pretty much it for tonight,
34:20and indeed for the whole series,
34:21so, people of Britain, thank you for watching,
34:23and thank you tonight to Erin Ball,
34:27Katie Brann,
34:31Greg Davies,
34:35my flatmate Lloyd,
34:38our authenticator Kay Adams,
34:42and UK's strongest man and Greg's newfound love,
34:45Glenn Ross!
34:48I am Rod Gilbert,
34:50and you can ask me literally anything.
34:52Good night.
35:17Thank you.