the best
funny
Transcript
00:00That's it. That's £6.40. £10, thank you very much. £3.60 change, thank you.
00:06There we are.
00:08Oh, dear. Oh, dear.
00:11Old Ali Baba's a bit off course, isn't he? Look.
00:16Morning, Abdul. All right, are you? Very nice. There we are.
00:19That's the change, love. See you again. Hello.
00:21Now, sir, what can I do you for, sir?
00:23I want a mouse.
00:25Mouse? Mouse? What do you think this is, a pet shop?
00:28Chocolatey mouse.
00:30Chocolatory mouse. Chocolatey mouse.
00:32Oh, chocolate mouse. Do you want a chocolate mouse?
00:34No, no. Chocolate mouse. Chocolatey mouse.
00:37No, no. We say chocolate mouse.
00:39We haven't got chocolate mice here. You have to go to Sweetshopping.
00:41No, not mice. Mouse.
00:43Mice, my friend, is the plural of mouse, you see.
00:45Chocolatey mouse. Chocolatey mouse, that.
00:47Oh, that is chocolate mousse. Chocolate mousse, you mean, is it?
00:50Chocolatey mouse. No, no. That's called chocolate mousse.
00:54Chocolaty mouse.
00:55Yeah, that's, yeah, uh, yes, eh, well, you could call it that, that's quite nice.
01:00Well, I mean, you can call it what you like, can't you, really?
01:02Yes, one chocolaty mouse.
01:03Well, you've got it, you've got it.
01:04Very good, sir, I'll wrap it up.
01:05What next?
01:06Uh, purry.
01:07Curry?
01:08Purry.
01:09Purry.
01:10Purry?
01:11Purry.
01:12Puh-puh-puh.
01:13Purry?
01:14Yeah.
01:15Tomato-purry.
01:16Tomato-purry.
01:17Tomato-purry.
01:18Tomato-purry.
01:19Oh!
01:20Tomato puree!
01:21That's what you mean, tomato puree.
01:22No, tomato-purry.
01:23Tomato-purry, that's what it is.
01:24The pronunciation, the correct pronunciation is tomato-purry.
01:31Tomato-purry.
01:32Now, we're the...
01:33Molly!
01:34Are we out of tomato-purry, love?
01:36Tomato-purry.
01:37Are we out of what?
01:38Tomato-purry.
01:39Oh, it's all right, it's right here,
01:40it's right here under me nose, there we are,
01:41so one jar of very nice tomato-purry, there we are.
01:43Are you two drunk?
01:44Shut up and clear off.
01:47Apologies on behalf of the wife, sir.
01:49Side note?
01:50Yeah, that's what I say, yeah.
01:52Sodder. Sodder.
01:54Sodder. Oh yes, sodder.
01:56Bicarbonate of sodder.
01:58Oh, bicarbonate of sodder. We're back on the list, aren't we?
02:00Bicarbonate of sodder. Very good. Bicarbonate of sodder.
02:02Bicarbonate of soda.
02:04Bicarbonate of soda. Very...
02:06They have their uses, don't they, sir? Yes, sir.
02:08There we are. Bicarbonate of sodder, sir. Yes, anything else?
02:10Bicarbonate, yes. Jewish?
02:12No, she looks a bit Jewish, but she's not.
02:16Chinaman.
02:18We're not Chinaman. We're both C of E. C of E.
02:20C of E. C of E.
02:22You're not C of E. She's not C of E.
02:24Are you? You're a muslin, ain't you?
02:26C of E. C of E. C of E.
02:28Coffee!
02:30I mean C of E. Oh, C of E, yes.
02:32Where is the deer? It's over where it always is, by the juice.
02:34A Jewish. Jewish. Oh, that's the Jewish, is it?
02:36Oh, that's the Jewish, I see.
02:38What flavour Jewish would you like, sir?
02:40A pricket. A pricket, oh yes.
02:42A pricket Jewish. Cinnamon. What?
02:44Cinnamon. Oh, cinnamon Chinaman. Oh, she's found a Chinaman for you.
02:46A pricket Jewish, yes.
02:48What else would you like? Tongue-you.
02:50Not at all, sir. My pleasure.
02:52No, no, no.
02:54Not the pleasure. Tongue-you.
02:56Tongue-you. A tongue-you.
02:58A tin of tongue-you. Oh, a tin of tongue-you.
03:00Oh, there we are. Look, there we are.
03:02The brunt. The brunt tongue-you. Is that the one? Yes, there we are.
03:04The brunt tongue-you. What else, then?
03:06Um, a pea.
03:08Pum? Pea.
03:10Single frozen.
03:12Pea? I'm not talking... V.
03:14P. Oh, I know.
03:16P. I want P. Yes, of course.
03:18Well, look, you go out here...
03:20No, no, no.
03:22Please, not that. P. P.
03:24Villendom P.
03:26Villendom P. Villendom P.
03:28Oh, Villenampart. Villenampart.
03:30Villendom P, yes. A nice, a nice slicky of that.
03:32So, there we are. Villendom P.
03:34Now, come on, give me a really hard one.
03:36Come on, son, now.
03:38I want a soup. Soup. Soup.
03:40Now, I'm catching on to this.
03:42You want soup to wash your hands with, don't you?
03:44Yes.
03:46Well, we don't sell that, so you have to go down to the chemist.
03:48He's a very nice bloke. He'll cure anything.
03:50Mamalady. Yes, he'll cure your malady for you, yes.
03:52Mamalady. Mamalady.
03:54Mamalady. Mamalady.
03:56Mamalady for the tuast.
03:58For the tuast? For the tuast.
04:00Tuast at the breakfast
04:02with the sea of E on the tuast.
04:04Oh, I've got you, I've got you.
04:06A nice cup of sea of E,
04:08a couple of slices of tuast,
04:10and a little bit of mamalady on the top, spread on it.
04:12There we are.
04:14Mamalady, that's the stuff.
04:16Anything else, son?
04:18Cac. Pardon?
04:20Cac. Cac. Cac.
04:22Oh, yes, cac. Very good.
04:24There we are. One Sierra Lees,
04:26a very own chocolate cac.
04:28Is that the right, sir?
04:30Chocolaty cac. Yes.
04:32Chocolaty mousse. Yep.
04:34Tomato puree, juice,
04:36sea of E, apricot juice, soup,
04:38mamalady, and the cac.
04:40Ah, wonderful. £300.
04:44That's it.
04:464p change, sir.
04:48No, please, no.
04:50No, please, no change.
04:52No, thank you very much.
04:54I now go to Haberdashery.
04:56Oh, Haberdashery. You're going down the boozer.
04:58No, no, not the boozer. Haberdashery.
05:00The Haberdashery for the clothing.
05:02Oh, haberdashery.
05:04Haberdashery.
05:06Yes, I've got to get large brass ears
05:08for my wife.
05:10Brass ears?
05:12No, not brass ears. Brass ears.
05:14Oh, brass ears.
05:16Yes, for my wife.
05:18She needs large brass ears
05:20because her tights are enormous.