Kevin Reacts to Still Game S7E3
Transcript
00:00Hello everybody, welcome back to the channel, my name's Kevin, I'm a geek, you are watching
00:16Kevin the Geek.
00:17It is Wednesday night as I'm recording this, of course it's Sunday morning, hopefully,
00:23as you're watching this.
00:24I really had to delay recording this, I've managed to get probably the next week's worth
00:32roughly of reactions recorded, but I had to hold off on this one until after tonight's
00:38match because, of course, the day this is coming out, it is a Euro 2024 final, and England
00:47are through, get in!
00:50And I know that is going to annoy a lot of my Scottish fans, and I do sincerely apologise.
00:56I'm not getting carried away though, I know one of the things that the Scots don't like
01:02about the English when it comes to football is the sort of sense of entitlement that we
01:09sometimes get, and it's almost like, oh, England deserve to win any tournament, and they bang
01:15on about 1966 and, you know, it's always about the, it's coming home kind of thing.
01:22I'm not about that, I'm not about that in any way, shape or form.
01:27I'm not making a prediction for tonight's game, because partially, obviously Euro 2020,
01:34which was hosted in 2021, I made a prediction as soon as we worked out who was playing who
01:42in the first round of the knockouts, I predicted it would be an England-Italy final and England
01:48would lose on penalties.
01:50So I jinxed it, you know, for the last tournament, so I'm not jinxing anything, if I have to
01:56say, obviously, my heart is going to be with England, my head is saying Spain, because
02:02Spain have just been so good in this tournament.
02:07I hope, I hope, you know, if you're Scottish or Welsh or Irish, you can, you can root behind
02:15England for a British win.
02:18I'm not expecting it to, I'm really not.
02:22You know, I'm hoping for it, but hey, that's what it is.
02:25But I'm not here to talk about the football.
02:27Fingers crossed, if all goes well, I'm going to do a sort of Euro-themed video later on
02:32today, if it manages to come together in a way that I hope.
02:39But it is, it is time for Still Game, as you know it is.
02:43So this is series seven, episode three.
02:44We had a great first two episodes of the series.
02:47Obviously, the first one was the gadgets episode, which I really, really enjoyed.
02:52And then last week out, it was nice because we sort of paid homage to Jake Darcy, who
02:57obviously passed away in between the break for the show.
03:02And, you know, it was nice that they kind of took a moment to acknowledge his passing
03:07within the show.
03:08I thought that was really beautifully done.
03:09So enough talking from me, enough waffling.
03:12Let's check out series seven, episode three, entitled Job.
03:27Right, who are we giving our positions to today?
03:34I am not going into AJ.
03:36That woman is a nightmare.
03:37She's as deef as a post and a rude cow into the bargain.
03:40She blames you because she can't hear you, thinks you're mumbling.
03:43I have to shout at the top of my voice, it's a jumper.
03:47And the Homestar Trust, you can forget that because she is a snooty Nazi cow.
03:52You get the stuff from your back.
03:54Oh, I've been there, done that.
03:56Here's a pair of trousers for your charity, dear.
03:58Cheery bye.
03:59Hold your horses.
04:00Have these trousers been laundered?
04:02No, hen, of course not.
04:03I took a dump in them this morning.
04:04Just thought I'd bring them up here, save me washing them.
04:07And if you hold the zipper up to your beak, you'll detect the unmistakable whiff of pish.
04:11Get them washed, get them hung up and go and do your charity work, you Hitler bastard.
04:17That's my wee stable all set out.
04:20All powdered off with white pepper.
04:23Delicious.
04:24Oh.
04:25That better be a beefy bake.
04:27On.
04:30You can shut up for a start.
04:32You'll no be ruining my wee self-party with your free boiler,
04:36or accident I haven't claimed for, or indeed your PPI pish.
04:43And that goes for you and all.
04:46I'm no interested in you, for you are a manila envelope with a window in it,
04:52which I have no intention of kicking into.
04:56No joy has ever come of your kind.
05:02So it's the cat charity again, eh?
05:04Aye, where is it?
05:06Up there, sure.
05:06Next to the suntan place.
05:08The suntan place?
05:09Aye, there.
05:10Brown for a pound.
05:13So, what are you giving them?
05:15Shirt.
05:16Still in the wrapper.
05:17John sent it over about ten Christmases ago.
05:19It's no use.
05:20It's too big.
05:21It's enormous.
05:22Bubble-bodied fat fella.
05:26Seventeen and a half collar.
05:27That would do me.
05:28And I love maroon.
05:30Wish you health to wear it.
05:31What have you got?
05:32Nice.
05:33Oh, aye.
05:35This.
05:36It's a monkey smoking a fag.
05:38It's hideous, isn't it?
05:39I mean, what clown would give you that as a gift?
05:41I got you that.
05:42Did you?
05:42No.
05:42Give it to me.
05:44If I'm honest, I bought it for myself, but your birthday rolled up.
05:48Is that a tree?
05:50Aye.
05:51It's got a map of Loch Lomond on it.
05:52I love maps.
05:54What about the bust?
05:55What you give me for it?
05:58Are they taking anything to show?
05:59The corder.
06:00It was Fiona's.
06:00She was red-rotting at it.
06:02It's the alicante.
06:03You say alicante, I say alican.
06:06To me.
06:06I'll get the round.
06:07Ready?
06:11OK.
06:12A spoon?
06:14That's right, yes.
06:14It's for the jam or sugar or salt, et cetera.
06:18It's from Troon.
06:20Oh, I see that.
06:21And the stuff in the bags, is that for us?
06:23No, no, no, no, no.
06:24No, this is good stuff.
06:26No, it's just the spoon today.
06:28So there you have it.
06:29The spoon for stirring tea or coffee or cord liver oil, if you know well.
06:35I'm across how a spoon works.
06:37The cats will be very grateful.
06:39Oh, you know what, Nutleg?
06:40Hi, Jack.
06:41Victor.
06:42Oh, hello, Mac.
06:43You're still living underneath a bridge, are you?
06:44Aye.
06:45Under a bridge.
06:46What am I, a troll, Mac?
06:48Oh, hey.
06:49Do you want a spoon?
06:50Oh, hold on, you dafty.
06:53I've got a recovering junkie a spoon.
06:56You'll use it.
06:57For the junk.
06:58Oh, aye.
06:59Eating a big jar of junk.
07:01They don't eat junk out of a jar, Jack.
07:03They cook it.
07:04On a spoon.
07:06Cooking up junk on a meat-free spoon.
07:10Listen, son.
07:10You were going to get a good spoon.
07:12But you're not getting it now because of your behaviour.
07:15Listen, hen.
07:16Put that away, out the road, safe.
07:19Thank you.
07:20Can I help you?
07:21I'm wanting this suit.
07:22Uh-huh.
07:23Thing is, it's six quid and I've only got two.
07:26Will you take two?
07:27No.
07:28Eh, marvellous, eh?
07:29Charity begins at home.
07:31It is a charity, but it's also a business.
07:34We sell things for charity.
07:36The suit's six pounds.
07:37Six pound in our till is a big help.
07:39Right, well, how about this then?
07:40See if we buy something at four pound.
07:42Will you let him have that suit for two?
07:44Yes.
07:45What have you got that's four quid?
07:46Four pound, please.
07:53They played him.
07:57You bastard.
07:59Oh, don't open the envelope.
08:00Nothing comes from opening an envelope.
08:14Whoa!
08:16Four and a half grand for that parking ticket.
08:20Whoa!
08:20Shoot a traffic warden.
08:22You don't even have a car.
08:23Well, I did have a car for a bit of fortnight.
08:271985.
08:28That's when I got the ticket.
08:30I just ran up and knew they're coming after me.
08:33Jesus!
08:35Well, the letter says,
08:38if you are unable to pay,
08:39the council shall endeavour to recoup
08:42the goods, chattel or possessions
08:43amounting to the recovery of the debt.
08:46Has he got anything worth four grand?
08:47That's three quid paid back.
08:50But that's not the thing.
08:51I've got three weeks to pay
08:53or it's a custodial sentence.
08:54Bloody hell.
08:55The pokey?
08:56The bumhole buffet.
08:58Oh!
08:59That's right.
09:00Read it and weep.
09:01Wow, Winston.
09:03That letter is a downer.
09:05However, this one is an upper.
09:10My invitation to receive the Glasgow Good Citizen
09:13Civic Medal.
09:15Oh, aye.
09:16For cooking Pete the JK's breakfast every morning
09:19with the goodness of your heart.
09:20He doesnae have a heart.
09:22Pipe down.
09:23Yeah, pipe down.
09:26Why are you receiving this award?
09:29Because you have exemplified a kindness or selflessness.
09:34You're out of bog roll, Moby.
09:36News newspaper, you twat.
09:38In other words...
09:39So much for kindness.
09:40...altruism and graciousness.
09:42Can I get another wee splash of cola in there, Moby?
09:45There's cola in it already, you greedy old dick.
09:48So much for selflessness.
09:50And beyond.
09:51Marked you as a citizen of great standing.
09:55Moby, can I...
09:55No, you cannae, you miserable rat bit.
09:59So much for citizen of fine standing.
10:01Moby's esteemed qualities we salute and reward you.
10:07The Glasgow Good Citizen's Civic Medal.
10:11Are you sure it's not the black-hearted ballbag barman?
10:15Or the distinguished Doolally Dickpiece deadbeat decoration?
10:19Great, eh?
10:20I get a four and a half grand parking ticket and he gets a medal.
10:23That's both stones firmly kicked.
10:26And there's a plus one.
10:28Who's coming with me?
10:30Me.
10:30Oh, no, I'm washing my moustache that day.
10:33I'm giving him a hand.
10:37What about you, Isaac?
10:39Are you busy washing your moustache?
10:42Tell him you're washing your beard.
10:45Moby, no, that would be lovely.
10:48Eh, Ciaran, but the thing is, eh...
10:50Well?
10:54I cannae go.
10:55Cos you'll need somebody to cover for you here at the Klansmen.
11:00Otherwise that would mean lovely.
11:04Moby, I'll ignore the fact that you asked everybody else.
11:09But can I put forward my case for being your plus one?
11:15Well, as you all know, I've been in financial trouble myself a couple of times.
11:20Gracious me, I am now.
11:23I'm what they call a borderline case.
11:26Freddy Foodbank, if you will.
11:28And it's for that reason that I appreciate the charity that you showed, Pete.
11:34You deserve that medal.
11:37And I would be honoured to be there to see you receive it.
11:42Cos you are one hell of a fella, Moby.
11:44Nicely said.
11:46One hell of a fella.
11:48Thanks, Winston.
11:50I'm suspicious of you, though.
11:52I'd be delighted to serve you.
12:00Honoured to be there?
12:02Uh-huh.
12:03A hell of a fella.
12:05A hell of a fella.
12:06A hell of a gormless fella.
12:08Oh!
12:09I've just got an invite to the inside of the city chambers.
12:12Right.
12:13Where they have a lovely ballroom for awards upstairs.
12:17And?
12:18And the fines and parking department downstairs.
12:21How smart!
12:29Riddle me this, Batman.
12:30Off you go.
12:31Alfred.
12:32Who's Alfred?
12:33The butler.
12:34Who's butler?
12:36Batman's butler.
12:37No, I'm not a butler.
12:38Well, if you're not going to go, Alfred,
12:40the only other people you can be is Robin or Batgirl.
12:43No, neither the tits for Robin nor the tits for Batgirl.
12:46No, I'm the riddler.
12:47So riddle me this.
12:48Well, go away.
12:49The question I'm asking is,
12:51is Moby an arsehole who became charitable,
12:54or is he a charitable man who masquerades as an arsehole?
12:57Oh!
12:57Is he a benevolent man that covers it with a mask and cape of arseholiness?
13:01Exactly.
13:03Nah.
13:04I reckon he's a fully paid-up, card-carrying arsehole.
13:07Nah, I think he's nice, but masquerades as an arsehole.
13:09You're not the riddler.
13:10You're the penguin.
13:12Oh, am I?
13:17Bad luck.
13:18Don't open the brolly indoors.
13:25Oh, Mick.
13:26Jack.
13:27What can I do for you, son?
13:29I wanted to say thanks for getting us a dig out with the suit.
13:32Aye, no problem, son.
13:33Aye, aye.
13:33Just out of curiosity, what did you need the suit for?
13:36You're not in trouble, are you?
13:37No.
13:38Quite the opposite.
13:39I've got an interview for a job.
13:41Nice.
13:41Oh, that's marvellous, eh?
13:43Well, so you're wanting kitty-doot,
13:45suit, shirt, tie, shoes, the lot, eh?
13:47Do you think I'll need all that?
13:48It's only a daft office job.
13:50Now listen to me, you young dumpling.
13:52You go for an interview, right?
13:53And then later on they say,
13:55who do we like for this?
13:56And the gaffer pipes up,
13:57I liked the boy with the suit.
13:59But the assistant says,
14:00who was that with the suit?
14:01She's the boy with the suit, sure,
14:02and the manky shirt and the rotten flip-flops.
14:05He's the boy for us.
14:06It's not going to work, son, is it?
14:07You don't need that, Ulster.
14:09It is only with a heart we can see fully.
14:12What is essential is invisible to the eyes.
14:16Anton De Sant'Exupery, 1940.
14:21There are their amounts.
14:22Right.
14:24What size are your shoes?
14:27Ten.
14:28Aye, you're pumped.
14:28I'm a twelve.
14:29Yeah, I'm a nine.
14:31Hold on.
14:32Two pair of socks and a pair of my shoes.
14:34Bingo.
14:34One pair of my Collins.
14:35He's a ten.
14:37You still got some of Collins' stuff?
14:39Aye, there's tons there.
14:41It's been lying there since he went to the university.
14:44I can give you shoes.
14:45Shut my tine up.
14:47Hey!
14:47There you go, that's smashing.
14:49Thanks, Isa.
14:51What do you think?
14:52You guys have got it good.
14:54Living up here with a talking letterbox.
14:56It's easy stuff.
14:58Is he still stoned?
14:59Mad house with a magic door.
15:02His beard pics are, innit?
15:05That's a woman.
15:07Right.
15:11Nice to meet you, missus.
15:14Yeah, he's definitely drugged up.
15:15God's sake.
15:16This is our neighbour, Isa.
15:18Hello, son.
15:20Look, I've also got a nice overcoat there you could use,
15:23for if the weather's bad.
15:24Thanks.
15:26Hold on, but I might no need a coat.
15:30Right.
15:34What would the weather be like on Monday?
15:37Magic Miller.
15:44Can you be quiet, please?
15:46This is a library.
15:50Shot it in a warlock.
15:52A couple of budgies.
15:52Wow, them ears are...
15:53I couldn't hear a thing.
15:54Very good.
15:55Well, they were deafening me.
15:56Now, the way I see it, Winston,
15:59when I click on this button, I'll be an accessory.
16:02Aiding and abetting you.
16:03I like a bet as well, Shug.
16:05I'm always betting.
16:07No betting.
16:07A betting.
16:08Look, Shug.
16:09This is that ancient, lousy parking ticket
16:12that over the years has turned into Bigfoot.
16:16We get in there.
16:18We find the cave where Bigfoot lives.
16:19Oh, hello, you big four and a half grand hairy sasquatch
16:25in the arse.
16:27No crime.
16:27A hunt.
16:28That's right, Shug.
16:30And what are we if not hunting men?
16:32And Sasquatch is the parking ticket.
16:34Yes.
16:34Aye, okay.
16:39Bingo.
16:40That's you.
16:41What am I looking at?
16:42Well, that's the original drawings for the city chambers.
16:451885.
16:47There's your roof layout.
16:49There's a ballroom.
16:50That's where you'll be.
16:51Oh, what if they've changed the layout?
16:54Excuse you, sir.
16:55You're needing a pish or some such.
16:57Cut through the kitchen along the corridor.
17:00The traffic fines office is behind that.
17:02And that's where we need to be.
17:06So what do we need?
17:08Torches.
17:09Glass cutters.
17:10Possibly, what?
17:12Welding gear or something.
17:13You're not breaking into a bank.
17:15Jelly tonight.
17:16Well, we need jelly.
17:17The only jelly you'll be getting is after your dinner, you fat clown.
17:22Cut down the fire stairs.
17:24Let me in the back door.
17:264.30 on the button.
17:28Boom.
17:29Boof.
17:30Call me your fat clown.
17:33You think they'll all be jelly?
17:37Is it a shower, Neville?
17:38Bitches see him.
17:40It's very good of you feeding the boy like that, Isa.
17:42Sorry?
17:43It's very good of you feeding the boy like that.
17:45You know something, Isa?
17:47That's probably that boy's first square meal in God knows how long.
17:50Good on you.
17:51Is it your first square meal in the ages?
17:53He's a lucky, lucky lad.
17:55Aye, well.
17:56He's welcome.
17:57Right, he's ready.
17:58Oh, come on in, son.
18:01Oh, the big reveal, eh?
18:02But why did you leave your cover shirt on?
18:04Hey, look at him.
18:05Oh, look at that.
18:07Shining like a new penny.
18:09Aye.
18:10You boy are ready for that job interview.
18:13Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
18:16Oh, dear.
18:17Good of you to see us at short notice like this, Cammy.
18:19No problem.
18:21Not long now.
18:23So you're operating out the house now, eh?
18:24Aye.
18:26Since I got stuck off.
18:27Um.
18:29Four teeth out the wrong person, everybody gans nuts.
18:32I mean, how was I supposed to know she was the girl out the toothpaste advert?
18:37Whoa.
18:38Is he Scottish or is he, like, a Geordie?
18:41Because he sounds a little bit more Geordie than Scottish.
18:43So, eh, are you still allowed to use gas, Cammy?
18:46Well, I'm not going to chuck it out.
18:49I've got a garage full of it.
18:51Gas, man.
18:54I've never had gas before.
18:57You feeling OK, Mac?
18:58To be honest, we're a wee bit depersonalised.
19:01Maybe even derealised.
19:04Also feeling high levels of suggestibility and imagination,
19:08but overall a slight dizziness, blankness, and a little bit of sleepiness.
19:12A slight dizziness, blankity, and a deep root of euphoria.
19:16Get yourselves tanked up with Zabit Snot.
19:21You want to try some, lad?
19:24No, thank you.
19:24I've seen Little Shop of Horrors.
19:26When's that fit?
19:27I don't know.
19:28And I've played Little Shop of Horrors.
19:29I've played the dancers as well.
19:30At home with James Dean.
19:33Look at this.
19:34Inglebert Humperdink celebrates his 27th birthday in style.
19:38Jackie O's stunning new wardrobe ahead of Dallas trip.
19:43Why, the ladies love Liberace.
19:46Right, that's you, son.
19:48Go in your mouth, bosh.
19:52Yeah, rinse with that.
19:54Is that a good tea?
19:55So that's you sorted for your interview tomorrow.
19:57What time's it at?
19:59Oh, my word!
20:01Ho, ho.
20:02How am I looking?
20:04Like the 230 favourite of Cheltenham, come on.
20:07Wow.
20:08That's a...
20:10That's a change.
20:13I'll be a dentist.
20:19Sorry, man.
20:20I'm just a wee bit nervous.
20:22If you're going to be nervous about me, that's getting the medal.
20:24I'm a little nervous for you.
20:27All the chatting, all that.
20:29Who will be sitting with me now?
20:31Give us peace.
20:36Never better.
20:37Table four.
20:39Right, I'm needing the toilet.
20:41Now you go and get yourself settled and I'll get you in there in five.
20:44Come on, we're due in the noon.
20:45Move your arse.
20:48You're all wee jelly, right?
20:52Nice outfit, though, Winston.
20:54Although he does look a little bit like a waiter.
21:00Actually, no, not like these waiters.
21:02What?
21:03What is it with you and that watch?
21:06I'm just anxious to get to the toilet.
21:09Well, you son of a bloody woman.
21:12You talk people shut down.
21:16Hi, I'm Bobby.
21:18Hi, I'm Rachel.
21:19Are you winning something tonight?
21:22I am indeed.
21:23This must be the winner's enclosure.
21:25What are you receiving your award for?
21:27Oh, I looked after a homeless guy for quite some time.
21:35You?
21:36Myself and Caterling jumped into the Meadyhill Canal
21:39and saved a man from drowning.
21:42That's pretty good.
21:42Firefighter.
21:43Art school.
21:45I quit my job and went round Eastern Europe for two years
21:49with a puppet show that I performed for children orphaned by war.
21:56Oh.
21:58I love him.
21:58I'm an S plus one and I'm needing a shave.
22:07How's that, poached egg, you silly bastard?
22:10It looks like something that fell out of your nose.
22:13Right, get it fixed.
22:14Start again.
22:14I'm not sure about that.
22:15Oh, no.
22:15Wait, he's actually going to get caught.
22:16What makes him be a waiter, isn't he?
22:19Where do you think you're going, fatty?
22:21I was just, uh, I was just, uh, just, uh,
22:24just get the nibbles on the trays and onto the tables.
22:27I was on my way to the toilet.
22:30Get those nibbles out!
22:33Oi!
22:36Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
22:40Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
22:42Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
22:45Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
22:47I didn't think you could actually become a waiter.
22:52You all set for your interview, mate?
22:54Look at that pigeon, man.
22:55Look at the size of it.
22:56It looks as if it's ate another pigeon.
22:59Never mind the pigeons.
23:00Look, I'll pretend to be the interviewer
23:02and, uh, you, introduce yourself to me.
23:04Hello, I'm Methadone Mick.
23:06No, I wasn't there.
23:08Hello, I'm Methadone Michael.
23:11Mick, you can drop the methadone.
23:13Cannae, man. Go to hove it every morning.
23:16Don't mind that. Just say,
23:17Hello, my name is Michael,
23:18and then just be loose with it.
23:20Oh, let's buy some pigeon feed.
23:22That wee one looks starving.
23:24Look, I'm going to get the rest of the pigeons.
23:26Watch wee.
23:27Watch and learn.
23:29Good afternoon.
23:30My name's Victor.
23:31Good afternoon, Victor.
23:32What makes you think you're suited to the position?
23:34Ha ha, that's an easy one, sir.
23:3630 years in the service of Babcock and Wilcox, man and boy.
23:40Loyalty's my middle name.
23:42Diligence is my reason for being.
23:44Impressive.
23:45So therefore...
23:46Weesh, you've done enough.
23:47I see no reason why you can't start on Monday.
23:49I'm over the moon.
23:50Let me leave you with my CV.
23:53Oh!
23:55On the other hand, make it Tuesday.
23:57That'll give you a chance to wipe that muck off your face.
24:01So that's basically it, Mick.
24:03Confident, forthright, be yourself.
24:06But without the shit.
24:07Yeah.
24:08Good luck.
24:09Go on, Michael.
24:20Uh-oh.
24:22Dammit!
24:23He's not supposed to be there.
24:25He's not supposed to be there.
24:41Oh, nice.
24:42What?
24:44You fucking...
24:45Watch what you do!
24:46No!
24:48What was that?
24:49Come on, you wee bastards!
24:52Nicely done.
24:55Amanda Gillespie, sit yourself down.
25:04Michael, is it?
25:05Mick.
25:06Michael.
25:07Nothing to do with me, if you don't...
25:11OK, Mick.
25:12Why do you think you're suited to this position?
25:14Ah.
25:1530 years in the service of Babcock, Wildcock's man and boy.
25:21What age are you?
25:2223.
25:24Loyalty's my middle name, though.
25:27It isn't, actually, it's Thomas.
25:31Diligence is my reason for being, and I've no got a shite in my head.
25:35Beg your pardon?
25:36I've no got a shite in my face.
25:39Oh!
25:48He's not getting the job, is he?
25:50For God's sake, where have you been?
25:52I was a boy here away from the game, I pensioned to a prostitute.
25:57I suppose you haven't no friendship.
26:00Well, Mick, we have others to see.
26:02Here it is, Andrew.
26:03Mr Gillespie.
26:04Here's the thing.
26:05See, my life so far, it's no been up to much, man.
26:08Hands up, it's been my fault.
26:11But see now, I'm clean.
26:13Focus, man.
26:14My mad days are behind me.
26:17Well, you're remarkably well turned out today.
26:20You'll love this.
26:21It's app, it's nut.
26:23I get this suit for £6, but Norie Lake has only had two.
26:28But I go to any roads cos Jack and Victor bought a spoon,
26:31so that was excellent.
26:33Then I'm up at their door,
26:35and this wee magic letterbox starts talking to me
26:38about all the stuff they gave me.
26:40Ties, shirts, shoes and that.
26:42Cos the letterbox had a son called Colin.
26:44Next thing, they two are no use.
26:48Cos I'm in this fella's living room.
26:50Like...
26:55He's going to be back on the bridge by the end of the episode, isn't he?
26:58Gas is good.
27:00In the background...
27:01Ding, ding, ding!
27:03All teeth in the bin.
27:05No teeth plugged in.
27:08Aye.
27:12Wow.
27:14I mean, that's pretty much...
27:18the best interview he probably could have given.
27:21I mean, it's definitely a better interview
27:23than the one in Trainspotting,
27:25you know, when the guy was on speed.
27:27I mean, that was a crazy interview.
27:30That one is probably crazier.
27:32But he's probably got more of a chance of getting the job than he did.
27:39We'll be here a bloody month.
27:42No, we'll not.
27:44Come here.
27:57Look at you.
27:59Look at you, you ancient old wee monkey.
28:02Oh, they actually found it?
28:06Job done.
28:07See you back at the clowns, then.
28:09Is it wise to leave it there and see him crying?
28:12Why don't you just actually take it with you and burn it?
28:20You're not Brian.
28:21No.
28:22Where is Brian?
28:24Er...
28:25He's not here the noo.
28:26Well, get the bell then.
28:27The bell?
28:28Go and get the bell, you numpty.
28:33OK, Mrs Mayor.
28:35I believe that's the mayor. I could be wrong.
28:40Hear ye!
28:42Oh, yay!
28:44Hear ye!
28:46Shush!
28:48Ladies and gentlemen...
28:49Oh, do you see him?
28:50Let me see.
28:51Just watch him when he slaps you.
28:52Oh, yay!
28:53He's smiling.
28:54Hear ye!
28:55He's like trying to hold back a laugh.
28:57There you go, yeah.
28:58He's like...
28:59Ladies and gentlemen...
29:01His right honourable Lord...
29:04Lady...
29:05Provost...
29:07What's your name, hen?
29:08Winnie Cranston.
29:10Winnie Cranston!
29:11Give it up for Winnie!
29:13Go, Winnie!
29:21My lords, ladies and gentlemen...
29:24Thank you for that warm reception.
29:29Brian?
29:30I don't know who that man is...
29:32but he's an imposter!
29:34Booze!
29:42Mayhem.
29:43Absolute mayhem.
29:44I thought I was getting the jail.
29:47So how did you get off?
29:48The old silver tongue got me off it.
29:50Aye, that and a quarter of an hour begging like a wee lassie.
29:54Oh, I'm Bobbies plus one, I'm Bobbies plus one.
29:57I got lost in the corridors cos I'm old and parched.
30:00Well, it worked, didn't it?
30:02And nobody named the wiser.
30:04Named the wiser about what?
30:05That old parking ticket.
30:07That's why I went.
30:08It's binned.
30:09History.
30:11All right, troops?
30:12Aye, aye.
30:13Hey, Mac, how did you go on?
30:14I got it.
30:15No way!
30:17I was close to not getting it cos I was nervous in that talking pish.
30:21Then the strangest thing happened.
30:23I'm about to leave thinking I've humped it.
30:26And then I see he's doing a crossword but he's not finished yet.
30:29He's stuck.
30:30So I lean over and say,
30:32three to finish, eh?
30:34It's a bastard when that happens.
30:36So, genuine, real, honest.
30:40That one's unfeigned.
30:42Four down, nine letters.
30:44Hard working is assiduous.
30:46Last one there.
30:47Coolness and composure, especially in a difficult situation.
30:52Equanimity.
30:53Bloody hell!
30:54Next time I'm old, let's be standing up and being at the welcome aboard.
30:57Wow!
30:58Magic.
30:59Dead chuff for you, sir.
31:00Really happy for you, Mac.
31:01Oh, you guys are the stars, man.
31:03You scoped me there.
31:04Who knows?
31:05Maybe youse'll be picking up some medals next year.
31:08I was just thinking that.
31:09If we don't have a hard winter.
31:12Right, Bobby.
31:13More drinks.
31:14Seems like we've all had a bit of good luck today.
31:17Where is it you're working, son?
31:18Oh, it's just some daft office job.
31:26How you getting on, Mac?
31:27Brilliant, Mr Gillespie.
31:29I was climbing the walls there earlier
31:31because there was ten finds to be processed there
31:33and I could only find nine of them.
31:35Whoa, no!
31:36One was missing.
31:37So I've hunted and of all the places, it's in the bin.
31:42No!
31:45Nail up, Mr Ingram.
31:47No!
31:51No!
31:54Moose, try and attach it.
31:58Oh, Wingspoon.
32:00I told you.
32:01Take it with you.
32:03Away from the scene of the crime and burn it.
32:17I feel bad about dropping Winston without a parking ticket.
32:20Ah, don't worry, son.
32:21You wanted to know.
32:23What did he get?
32:25What did you get again, Winston?
32:27A hundred hours.
32:28Ooh!
32:32Poor Winston.
32:35That man just cannot catch a break, can he?
32:38My word.
32:40You go to all that effort to try and save yourself away from four founds.
32:44I'm guessing that he doesn't actually end up having to pay the £4,000
32:48because, yeah, that...
32:52The thing is, right,
32:55when you've got a situation like that,
32:58you know, an unpaid parking ticket,
33:00and it's like the 1980s or something like that,
33:03hey, like, is it really fair and legal
33:08to whack it up from, I don't know, what?
33:12Back in the 80s, I'm guessing...
33:14I mean, like, nowadays, it'd be...
33:16What is it? Normally it's like a 70 quid,
33:18but you pay stuff, 35 quid,
33:20if you pay within 30 days or whatever,
33:22or 14 days or whatever.
33:24So, back then, I'm guessing, what,
33:27maybe five, ten quid would be the equivalent
33:30of what it would be in today's society.
33:34Is it fair to take it all the way up to, like, four grand?
33:39And especially when he's, like, an old-age pensioner.
33:43Like, if he goes to them and it's clear that,
33:46oh, I ain't got the money, I'm in a...
33:48I presume he's in a council flat,
33:50and, you know, he's basically living on his pension money,
33:54which isn't a lot, you know.
33:57I think that's probably why he's got the community service,
34:00you know, they're like,
34:02you haven't got the ability to pay the four grand,
34:05it's not right to really put you in prison for that,
34:09so it would give you some community service
34:11and try and, in some way, make up for it.
34:14But even then, that's harsh.
34:17That's really harsh, isn't it?
34:20So that episode,
34:23not really a Jack and Victor episode, was it?
34:25It was really a Mick episode,
34:29methadone Mick,
34:31and, you know, Anna Winston's episode.
34:35It wasn't really a Bobby episode.
34:37I mean, like, Tam and Eric,
34:39they didn't really do much in that episode.
34:43So, yeah, I like the character of Mick.
34:49I don't know how regularly he's going to be moving forward,
34:53I mean, that's two episodes in a row he's featured in.
34:55Maybe they gave him a little bit more prominence in this one
35:00because, obviously, we lost Pete the Jakey
35:04because of the sad passing of Jake Darcy.
35:08And they've used this episode
35:11to give him a little bit more of an introduction
35:13because he was very minor in last week's episode.
35:17This one, they gave him a little bit more prominence
35:19so we can get to know the character a little bit more
35:22because we definitely saw more to him in this one.
35:25We see that he's actually quite intelligent,
35:28which I found really, really interesting.
35:31And, hey, that shows where I've gone wrong
35:33in a number of job interviews over the years,
35:35the fact that I've not helped them out with their crossword.
35:38So, fair play to him, you know, for doing his best to...
35:44Sorry, little moth there flying around my head.
35:49But, yeah, it's nice, I think,
35:51that, you know, he's trying to put the heroine
35:56and stuff like that behind him
35:58and he's trying to turn over a new leaf.
36:00Who knows how long that'll be, you know,
36:02maybe by next week he's back on the...
36:04Sorry, he's back on the heroine.
36:06But, hey, he's known as Methadone Mick,
36:09so, yeah, maybe that is him coming away
36:13from that side of things.
36:15We'll have to see what happens in the coming weeks and months.
36:19So, thank you so much for joining me.
36:22And, yeah, if you are new, of course,
36:25don't forget to subscribe and like the video
36:28and all this kind of stuff.
36:32Obviously, at the moment,
36:33we have a show coming to an end soon,
36:36which is going to be The British Empire.
36:40Now, I have created a document
36:43where you can have your vote
36:45on what show you would like to replace that one.
36:48I'm not going to...
36:50Even if it ends up being one of the highest scorers,
36:53I'm not going to replace it with one of the Scottish shows.
36:58So I'm kind of keeping those within this.
37:00Obviously, once Still Game eventually comes to an end,
37:03I'm intending to replace it with Still Game.
37:07Obviously, I'm still churning out my Chewing the Fat
37:10and maybe Burniston,
37:12you know, bring that back a little bit.
37:15But some people have spoken about Two Doors Down,
37:19which I am intending to watch at some point.
37:22Maybe I'll do an odd episode or two here and there
37:25to kind of see what it's like and get me into it.
37:27And then probably when Rhapsody in Esme comes to an end,
37:30that would probably end up taking its spot in that instance.
37:33So, yeah, Scottish-wise,
37:36we're keeping mostly to the Sundays
37:38and odd bits and bobs here and there.
37:40But please do, if you haven't done so already,
37:42please do put your votes in
37:44for what show you would like to see replaced
37:46with The British Empire as its new weekly show.
37:51At the moment, I would say the shows
37:53that seem to be doing pretty well in the polls
37:56would be Outnumbered.
38:01The Inbetweeners is doing pretty well.
38:03And Only Fools and Horses has done reasonably well
38:07in that as well.
38:09So, you know, have a look at that.
38:11It doesn't have to be necessarily the ones
38:13that's necessarily on there.
38:15You can put your own choices in there as well.
38:17And maybe people will go for that as well.
38:20So, yeah, that's going to do it for today.
38:22Thank you so much for joining me.
38:23Come on, England, tonight.
38:25Hopefully, you'll do us proud.
38:27And hopefully, you guys are going to back us as a British team.
38:32I'm not expecting you will, but it'd be nice.
38:34It'd be nice because, obviously,
38:35I would have been supporting Scotland
38:37if they'd made it through to the final and England didn't.
38:40So, yeah.
38:42But thank you once again for joining me.
38:44For now, my name's Kevin.
38:45I am a geek.
38:46And you've been watching Kevin the Geek.
38:48Goodbye.