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00:30♪♪
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01:00♪♪
01:10Come on. Oh, yeah. Come on. Come on.
01:12Oh, God. Come on.
01:14Next stop, you ready?
01:16Come on. Come on.
01:22Come on. Come on.
01:24♪♪
01:34♪♪
01:39Come on up a step. Come on.
01:41In you go. Come on.
01:43In you go, isn't it?
01:44Good idea.
01:46♪♪
01:51Don't give me those goo-goo eyes.
01:53I saw you eat that dog's ball.
02:07Anybody in?
02:09How far am I from Dover, coach?
02:11Why, the, um...
02:12This flying glass.
02:14Tick. VG.
02:16And it doesn't really look like a chicken house, does it?
02:18Not yet. It will when I've boarded it up.
02:20When I get the wood.
02:22I say...
02:24You look utterly ridiculous.
02:26Honey tongue.
02:31Hello, Margot.
02:40Jerry?
02:42Jerry!
02:47Jerry!
02:49Jerry, she's smashing glass now.
02:51Oh, that's nothing.
02:52You should have seen Tom on the common with the goat.
02:54Why can't he go after dark?
02:56Isn't it his rights? It's common grazing land.
02:59Maybe.
03:00You don't find other people in the district parading their cattle up there.
03:04He's a goat cattle.
03:06That's beside the point.
03:08Why can't he have a dog like everyone else?
03:10Dogs don't have udders.
03:13Jerry, don't be obtuse.
03:15You know very well what I mean.
03:17I must say, it was funny with the Pekingese, though.
03:19What are you talking about? What was?
03:20On the common.
03:21Fetch the ball ball, Princess Ty.
03:23Of course, the ball ball runs up to the goat.
03:26Princess Ty follows the ball ball and the goat eats it.
03:30Oh, my God.
03:32No, not the Pekingese. The ball ball.
03:34Well, I hope you drove on.
03:36I gave Tom a lift.
03:38And?
03:39Oh, yes. And the goat.
03:41Couldn't leave it to run behind the car, could I?
03:43Well, thank you very much, Jerry.
03:46I shall not set foot in that car again until you've had it thoroughly valeted.
03:49Goats are filthy animals.
03:51They're hairy and smelly.
03:53They've got diseases.
03:54I'll tell you what.
03:55We'll stave off infection with a glass of gin.
03:58I'm sure it was a little early to start boozing, Jerry.
04:01Oh, right.
04:02Well, I'll have yours.
04:07And why is Barbara ruining a perfectly good greenhouse?
04:11They're converting it.
04:12They're going to keep chickens.
04:13Chickens?
04:14Does the Residents' Association know about this?
04:16I really don't know.
04:18They should.
04:19This whole thing is getting entirely out of hand.
04:22It's like living next door to gypsies.
04:24Perhaps we'll get some clothes pegs for Christmas.
04:28It's not funny, Jerry.
04:30We all know you think it is.
04:32Well, as a matter of fact, I don't.
04:33Tom's a friend.
04:34He's chucked up a perfectly good job for this insane notion of self-sufficiency.
04:38It's doomed to failure. We all feel sorry for him.
04:40Why?
04:41Is that your idea of rational behaviour?
04:43Poor fellow's obviously had some sort of brainstorm, a breakdown even.
04:46I'm sorry.
04:47If he chooses to have a nervous breakdown, that's his business.
04:50I don't see why he should inflict it on poor Barbara.
04:54They do seem quite happy though, don't they?
04:56A facade.
04:57No, no, no.
04:59They are heading for degradation, misery and squalor.
05:03And we have to live next door to it.
05:09Give us a lift, lady. I can't get it started.
05:10How's it coming?
05:11Have a whiff.
05:14Oh!
05:16What has that goat been eating?
05:18Dog's balls.
05:21Oh, sorbo ones, you know.
05:24But anyway, I mean, goat's milk is supposed to smell a bit.
05:27Well, it's supposed to smell a bit.
05:29No, I think it's coming on very well.
05:30Well, it looks right.
05:32Just imagine, our own goat's butter.
05:37Can you have goat's butter?
05:39We'll soon find out.
05:40Where's the turds?
05:41Under the sink.
05:42Under the sink? Pink?
05:44You painted our chicken house pink?
05:45Yes.
05:46Have you put little chintz curtains up at the windows as well?
05:48Now, look.
05:49I'm not doing a Beatrix Potter.
05:51It's just that we happen to have some old paint in the shed
05:54and it happened to be pink.
05:55We're economising.
05:56Remember?
05:57Ah, yes, now, talking of economy,
05:58I've been going through the cheque stubs
05:59for the big shopping you do at the weekends.
06:01They average out at about £15.
06:03Now, look at this.
06:04Come here.
06:07Now, I've cut out all the luxury stuff because we can't afford it.
06:09Things like pate, right?
06:10Right.
06:11All the things on here are the less expensive
06:13but high-nourishment foods.
06:14I know we've got to buy food until our own grows,
06:16but the more we can do to spin out our kitty, the better.
06:18Right.
06:19Now, this list I've made out
06:20will keep us perfectly well-fed for £10.
06:22You want to go back to churning?
06:24Why?
06:25I did the shopping this morning...
06:27for eight.
06:29Eight?
06:33Right, come on.
06:38Hm.
06:42Oh!
06:45Oh!
06:46That could be the man with our chickens!
06:47I'll go and get the chickens!
06:48No, leave her!
06:49Get up! Get up!
06:50I want one of it now.
06:51I want to get that one.
06:53What are you saying?
06:54There's 11 little ravers out here waiting for you.
06:56Now, come on.
06:58Perhaps he's queer.
07:00Yes, perhaps he is.
07:02Cock-a-doodle-doo!
07:04Boo!
07:05He's not queer, he's a Bolshevik.
07:07All right, Lenin, come out.
07:08Come on, out.
07:09Come on, let's have you out.
07:12Must be hanging on to the sides.
07:14I'll blow you, then.
07:15Stay there.
07:21I see.
07:22It's going to be a battle of wits between us two, I can see that.
07:27Oh, one's gone inside.
07:28Quick, she's going to lay.
07:30How do you know?
07:31Well, she might be.
07:34Oh, look.
07:35This is just chicken voyeurism.
07:38No.
07:39No.
07:40Patient, aren't we?
07:42Look, let's leave them some food and let them get on with it.
07:44Clang!
07:45I forgot to get the grain.
07:46Have you got any scraps?
07:47Yes, there's some in the dustbin.
07:49For the dustmen?
07:50Well, not personally, but if they want them.
07:52Look, we've told you before.
07:54We don't give scraps to dustmen ever.
07:55Right?
07:56Refuses, not rubbish.
07:57They'll eat it.
07:58The goat will eat it.
07:59When we get the pig, he'll probably eat the dustbin first.
08:01I looked really stupid in that swimming mask, didn't I?
08:04I'll get the scraps.
08:05I'll get the scraps.
08:08That one's got a limp.
08:18Margot!
08:19Wait!
08:22You're not throwing that away, are you?
08:24It's yesterday's.
08:25Well, that doesn't matter.
08:26May I have it?
08:27What, this?
08:28Yes, please.
08:29There's a lot of nourishment in there.
08:31Well, of course.
08:33Feel welcome to it, Barbara.
08:36Lovely.
08:37I'll give you the plate back.
08:38Yes, of course.
08:39Thanks.
08:42Jerry!
08:44Jerry, you'll have to do something.
08:47Jerry!
08:49Jerry!
08:51I said, you'll have to do something.
08:53What? Do something about what?
08:55Poor Barbara is now reduced to begging for scraps.
08:58That's all right. I've taken steps.
09:00Sleepwalking, presumably.
09:03No, I've been thinking about what you said about Tom and Barbara heading for hard times.
09:07Degradation, misery and squalor is what I said they're heading for.
09:10Well, yes, possibly even that.
09:12I mean, all right, well, they're happy.
09:14Perhaps lemmings are happy as they rush towards the edge of the cliff.
09:18So I've taken steps.
09:21Have you actually covered any ground?
09:24Yes, I phoned the boss and asked him and his wife to come over for dinner.
09:27Right?
09:28Now I go and ask Tom to come over here for drinks at the same time.
09:31I tell the boss what a wonderful draftsman he's lost in Tom,
09:33and hey presto, the boss offers Tom his old job back again.
09:37And the avenue stops looking like a slum clearance area.
09:41Very good, Jerry.
09:43Very good.
09:45When did you arrange dinner for?
09:48Tonight.
09:51Well, thank you very much, Jerry.
09:53What's wrong?
09:54What's wrong?
09:55I need at least three weeks if I'm going to entertain a managing director.
09:58That's what's wrong.
09:59You don't need three weeks to cook a bit of dinner.
10:02I have never done that in my life.
10:04I prepare meals, Jerry.
10:07And I've nothing to wear.
10:08Well, serve it naked.
10:12Would you mind very much not being quite so vulgar?
10:15My God, I just remembered the candelabra being replated,
10:18and we don't have a new napkin in the house.
10:20All right, forget it. I'll think of something else.
10:22No.
10:23No, I'll manage, Jerry.
10:25A woman always does.
10:26Right, I'll pop over and tell Tom.
10:28You've got five minutes.
10:30I didn't know it was going to be a speed trial.
10:32There are a million things to do, and I shall need some help.
10:35I thought you said a woman always managed.
10:40My God, just look at the state of this patio.
10:45God, you ought to see that lot eat.
10:47They're not chickens at all. I think they're selfish vultures.
10:49Oh, well, never mind. I expect vultures' eggs are bigger.
10:52Eggs? They don't know the meaning of the word.
10:54Vult.
10:56How's the goat's milk butter?
10:57I don't think goats know the meaning of the word.
11:00I'm waiting for a sort of buttery thud,
11:02and all I'm getting is a sloshing sound.
11:04Never mind. Look, let's try it, eh?
11:08I'll do.
11:09Tarp.
11:17It's a bit runny.
11:18No, wait a minute.
11:19The sediment would be right at the bottom, wouldn't it?
11:21Well done. Stand back.
11:23Right.
11:28I've got something here. It's only a little bit, but...
11:30Blast, I lost it.
11:32Hang on, hang on. Nope. Hang on.
11:34Tom?
11:35Yes?
11:36Did you wash your hands after messing about with those chickens?
11:43Judging from the expression on your face,
11:45you've just put your hand in something rather nasty.
11:48Jerry, you wouldn't understand.
11:50We're in the advanced stages of butter-making here.
11:52I was just counter-agglomerating the phrake
11:54that you find at the bottom, you see?
11:56Phrake?
11:57Yes, yes. Phrake, yes.
11:59Tudor English.
12:00Um, as in Taming of the Shrew, Act 2, Scene 1.
12:03I'm not awfully familiar with the Taming of the Shrew.
12:05No, Margot does get rather out of her own way, doesn't she?
12:09I'm just tolerant.
12:11I'm also a bit deaf in the ear I use for Margot.
12:14I haven't lost my sense of smell, though.
12:17Look, how about coming over for drinks this evening?
12:19Jerry, we are phraking.
12:20We can have little bits of things on sticks.
12:22Sorry, mate, too busy.
12:23I was going to open a bottle of old malt.
12:25What time do you want us?
12:27Six-ish.
12:28Right. Remember alcohol?
12:30Oh, we used to have that in the olden days.
12:32Do you know we haven't had a pint for a week?
12:34If you think you're getting a pint of old malt, you're very much mistaken.
12:37Bye, baby.
12:38Hey, I'll tell you something.
12:39My hand's ever so soft.
12:42See, it should be thickening, you see.
12:44Well, it's not, is it?
12:45No, it isn't.
12:46Grab that end.
12:47Now, lift.
12:49Right, go.
12:51Hold it, hold it.
12:52What?
12:53Tom, what are we doing?
12:54I'm going to turn this into butter if it kills me.
12:56Well, it probably will with what's in there.
12:58Oh, yes.
12:59Shame, though.
13:00Well, at least we have chickens that don't lay.
13:02Yes, there is that.
13:03It's just that I don't like wasting anything any more.
13:05Well, you can't win a moral, can you?
13:07I've got it.
13:08I've got it.
13:09We'll recycle it.
13:10We'll give it back to the goat.
13:15He thought we'd have our drinks out here, sir.
13:17It's such a beautiful day.
13:18Oh, fine, fine.
13:20Did I always say...
13:22Great Scott.
13:23What's he done to his garden?
13:25Looks like the Sob.
13:28That's in just a week.
13:29He's got a goat, too.
13:31What, insurbitant?
13:33I know that when he was with the company, he was always a bit, um...
13:35Eccentric?
13:36Well, strange, but I mean this is...
13:38Yes, but Tom is a friend, you see, sir.
13:40I feel I just can't stand aside and let him see him ruin his life like this.
13:44I thought if we'd get him back to the company.
13:46That's why I've asked him round for drinks this evening.
13:49Oh, Lord, have you?
13:50Oh, thanks very much.
13:51He's a thundering good draughtsman, sir.
13:53I feel if we could get him back on the rails, we should save him from himself.
13:56And I don't think that's putting it too strongly.
13:58Well, it's all very laudable, Jerry, but I mean I'm running a business, not a psychiatric clinic.
14:02He's the best draughtsman we've ever had.
14:04In fact, I don't see us keeping the Weber account without him.
14:08Well, of course, I've always been very fond of... What's his name?
14:11Tom.
14:12Yeah, well, I don't mind doing what I can to help.
14:15That's very philanthropic of you, sir.
14:18Oh, my dear.
14:19Oh, look, a goat.
14:21Oh, I'm so sorry, Felicity.
14:23No, no, I like goats.
14:26Drinks, please, Jerry.
14:30Door, please, Jerry.
14:35Of course, it's Barbara I feel so terribly sorry for in all this.
14:38Who's Barbara?
14:39Oh, Tom Good's wife, a lovely girl.
14:42Oh, yes, lovely, but pathetic.
14:46Hello.
14:47Hello, Barbara. How's it going?
14:49I hear you're not too well, dear.
14:51No, I didn't say unwell. I said pathetic.
14:54Oh, thanks very much.
14:57Stone the crows, he told Andy.
14:59You never told me...
15:01Dolores del Rio.
15:02He remembers Raymond Navarro.
15:07Then we'll bless you in a dance.
15:09Two years ago, it only seems like yesterday.
15:12It's good to see you again, Tom.
15:14How are you, Andy?
15:15How's the giveaway plastic toy business?
15:17Oh, much as you left it.
15:18Shame.
15:19It's catch-as-catch-can with Brussels, of course,
15:21but it keeps the old ulcers on their toes, you know.
15:27How's this, um, this, uh, of yours going?
15:32Well, it's catch-as-catch-can with Brussels sprouts, of course,
15:34but a bit more relaxing.
15:36It's her.
15:37I don't... Excuse me.
15:39Remind the trellis.
15:40Remind the trellis, remind your trousers.
15:43Sorry about this. We're expecting our first egg.
15:48We've had the hen since first thing this morning,
15:50but nothing. It's very exciting.
15:51Oh, it must be.
15:53My dear Tom, I've got a dozen eggs in the fridge,
15:55if you want them.
15:56Ah, yes, but you see, yours have got little lions on them.
16:00And when ours arrive, when they finally arrive,
16:02they'll only have, uh, you know, on them.
16:05Yes?
16:06You know, phantom pregnancy.
16:08We think we've got a queer cockerel.
16:12Sorry, Andy, what were you saying, Andy?
16:13Uh, no, what was I saying, Jerry?
16:15I think you were about to tell Tom something to his advantage.
16:18Oh, yes. Oh, yes, yes.
16:20Now, look here, Tom, I won't beat about the bush.
16:23There's a desk waiting for you at JJM.
16:26You what?
16:27Yes.
16:28Has it been asking for me by name?
16:31Tom, I'm asking for you by name.
16:34Come back and join us.
16:36Not in a million years, mate.
16:38I do think you ought to think about this seriously, you know, Tom.
16:40Not many people get a second chance at 40.
16:42I've taken my second chance, and as far as being 40,
16:45when I'm 50, then I'll be 40.
16:47But we can't see you throw your life away on the lot of...
16:49What's that?
16:51Wrong sex.
16:53Ridiculous.
16:54You've arranged this, haven't you?
16:56Only with the very best intention.
16:57I know. Thanks very much, but no thanks.
17:00That is the most selfish thing I have ever heard.
17:03All right, Tom, if you wish to commit social suicide
17:06and ruin the neighbourhood while you're doing it, so be it.
17:09I think it's despicable to tow poor Barbara along in your wake.
17:12I am not an old barge.
17:14I know, dear, but I'm not sure you understand the implications.
17:18Now, look.
17:19Your goat, dear, has he got a name?
17:22Yes. Margot.
17:24Cherry.
17:27Fair goat.
17:28I mean, this is all very Robinson Crusoe-ish,
17:31but the fact is, a man has to work.
17:34Work? They're blisters, not birthmarks.
17:36We're on an 86-hour week, you know.
17:38That's just my point.
17:39If you come back to JJM, you won't have to work nearly as hard.
17:42I heard that bedbetter.
17:44Cherry meant manually.
17:46We don't look on it as work. It's our way of life.
17:49It is work, because we tend to collapse at the end of the day,
17:51but we don't look on it as work.
17:52Yes, if I could understand that, I'd agree with it.
17:54What about money in all this?
17:56We're using our savings up to tide us over till harvest time.
17:58In the meantime, when you can't pay the electricity bill?
18:01We thought of that. We'll go over to gas.
18:03And how do you pay for that?
18:04We don't. We make it ourselves.
18:06What do you think?
18:07Dung.
18:11Well, I'm sorry, but I think the whole scheme's a load of nonsense.
18:16I wanted to do something exciting when I was young,
18:19and then I married Andrew, and that was the end of that.
18:23But what you're doing now, that's really exciting.
18:25I don't know whether you'll succeed, but just trying is exciting.
18:29Felicity, you've got it in one.
18:31Well, I'm sorry. I've said all I'm going to say.
18:34I've said all I'm going to say.
18:36And I'm not going to say any more and have my head bitten off again.
18:44Anyone fancy a game of hide-and-seek?
18:46Yes. Let's forget it and relax.
18:48Tom, Barbara, why don't you stay for dinner? We're going to have it out here.
18:51Oh, thank you, Jerry. That's lovely.
18:53After all, it is the least we can do.
18:55I beg your pardon?
18:56Well, times are obviously very hard, and we've got plenty of food here.
19:00We don't need Oxfam relief.
19:03I am not unobservant, Tom. I do notice things.
19:06Are my flies undone?
19:09I am referring to Barbara this morning.
19:12Now, I didn't want to bring this up in front of other people,
19:14but begging leftovers is hardly a sign of affluence.
19:17You mean that shepherd's pie?
19:19The rustic pot roast.
19:21You did ask me.
19:23True.
19:24Well, I rest my case.
19:25It was for the chickens.
19:27And they didn't like it.
19:30Well, is it surprising?
19:31One doesn't get one's A-levels in domestic science
19:34by cooking meals to please chickens.
19:36Yes, be fair. I mean, Margaret's a first-rate cook.
19:38Mostly.
19:40Margaret, tell them what we're having for dinner tonight.
19:42I don't really know that I want to.
19:44All right, don't.
19:46We're having asparagus and canard à la paysanne.
19:49Eh?
19:51Duck pieces.
19:52Really?
19:53Where do you get fresh asparagus from at this time of year?
19:57One has contacts.
19:59Oh, yes, the freezer centre.
20:01Honestly, Margaret, it's not so ill.
20:03Barbara, throw my food in my face.
20:05Oh, Margaret, we're not insulting your cooking.
20:07It's just that you're treating an invitation to dinner like war on what?
20:09Oh, for heaven's sake, all they're doing is offering you a helping hand.
20:12Will you stay out of this, Andy?
20:13Honestly, anyone would think we had to eat at the seamen's mission.
20:16Exactly.
20:17In fact, and this is why we can't stick to dinner,
20:20we've got something a bit special laid on the food line ourselves tonight,
20:22haven't we, Barbara?
20:24Haven't we, Barbara?
20:25Yes.
20:26See?
20:27You're bluffing, Tom.
20:28This is no bluff, mate.
20:29We've got something a bit special laid on tonight.
20:31What?
20:32Pardon?
20:34I said what?
20:35Never you mind something a bit special.
20:37It's very special, actually.
20:39And I'll tell you this, it'll all be fresh and home-produced.
20:41None of your asparagus lolly ice from the fridge
20:43and some poor old duck that's lost its quack.
20:46I certainly don't mind if you slaughter that disgusting goose.
20:49Oh, for heaven's sake.
20:52Oh, look, the sun's coming out.
20:56Must be the influence of us little flowers.
20:58Oh, I'm sorry, Gerry, I didn't mean to be ungracious.
21:00Well, heaven help us when you do, Tom.
21:02Now, look here, Mrs. Beaton.
21:03Barbara, please, we must make allowances for Margot.
21:05After all, she's got A-level domestic science to live up to tonight.
21:08That's not going to be too easy when you're working with a dodgy tin opener.
21:11Now, if you'll excuse us, we've got a little feast of our own to whip up.
21:14Coming, darling?
21:15Good evening, all.
21:16Evening.
21:20Well...
21:23Honestly, I could strangle Margot sometimes.
21:25I'm sorry, love, I just couldn't control myself any longer.
21:27Well, never mind. At least you got the last word.
21:29That's not easy with Margot.
21:30Yeah, I excel at hollow boasting.
21:32I mean, we haven't produced anything yet, have we?
21:34All we've got is subterranean veg and sterile chickens.
21:38Aren't you forgetting something?
21:40We gave that back to the goat, remember?
21:45The Matabele eat giant wood grubs, you know.
21:48Silly sods.
21:52Well, perhaps it'll rain.
21:54That's not going to make the potatoes grow in two hours, is it?
21:56No, but it'll keep them off the patio.
21:58We could skulk about in here and eat a packet of chicken chow mein.
22:01Hey, what are we thinking about?
22:03We'll kill a chicken. Fresh, roasted chicken.
22:06Don.
22:08Yes, Doris?
22:10Now, that's not good Ambridge thinking, is it?
22:12I mean, you don't kill off one twelfth of your stock, not after six hours.
22:15Quite right, Doris.
22:16Especially not just to prove a point.
22:18Quite right. Well, we don't have to prove anything to anybody.
22:20If she wants to sit out there all smug and victorious, let her.
22:22Yes, let her.
22:24We'll kill a chicken.
22:25Right.
22:27Go on, then.
22:28Me? Oh, no, no, no.
22:30I told you, I'll go bankrupt with you, I'll starve with you,
22:33but I couldn't kill a chicken to save my life.
22:35Fair enough. I'll do it.
22:43Go on, then.
22:44Yes, well, look.
22:45You don't just dash into these things.
22:48You've got to have method.
22:50Method, yeah.
22:52Now, look.
22:55Grrr!
22:58You take the chicken by the legs and hold it upside down, right?
23:00Grrr!
23:02Automatically, it puts its head on one side.
23:04Grrr!
23:06You put the chicken on the table,
23:07put your knee on its neck and pull.
23:09Grrr!
23:12Just like that.
23:13There's a lot of the Papa Doc in you.
23:15Or, you simply wring its neck
23:18and feel the bones cracking in your hands.
23:22Here.
23:28You saw the seven samurai chop its head off.
23:32Poitin!
23:36But then the headless body runs down the garden,
23:39all a-quivering and a-gushing blood,
23:41and chases you round the table.
23:42Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no!
23:45The legs are going all funny.
23:47Ah, no, no, seriously, seriously.
23:49I've got it.
23:52Grrr!
23:55Now, there's no need to shoot yourself
23:57just because you can't kill a chicken.
24:00Or serve it an air pistol champion at the age of 11.
24:02I could do it with this.
24:04I've never heard of anyone shooting a chicken before.
24:06It's an old mafia trick.
24:11All right, go on, then.
24:14Only don't kiss it first.
24:17Chicken,
24:19I'm going to make you an offer you can't refuse.
24:29OK, sweetheart, nobody moves.
24:40Close your eyes.
24:41You're not the one with the limp.
24:46Bang!
24:50Hope nobody will gag at Petit Marmite.
24:53Looks just like the illustration on the tin, my dear.
24:59Oh, I did want to apologise to you, sir,
25:01for this afternoon's little fracker.
25:03Oh, no, there's no need to apologise, Jerry.
25:05Quite amusing in its way.
25:06The fellow's absolutely mad, of course.
25:08Still, it's his, um, life.
25:10Funeral.
25:12Nevertheless,
25:13it was rather a petulant display, wasn't it?
25:16I mean, all those wild claims
25:18about this fantastic home-produced meal
25:20they're supposed to be having.
25:22Well, really...
25:23I've laid out all the best silver, darling.
25:26I've lit the candles. Are you ready?
25:29Just finishing the garnish, darling.
25:36Ah, magnificent.
25:39Nothing from the supermarket here, eh, darling?
25:42God forbid.
25:44Will you carve, darling?
25:46Rather, darling.
26:06How could you miss a chicken from six inches?
26:13It ducked.
26:18Anyway, we know how to make them lay now.
26:21Scare them into it.
26:23Mmm!
26:42APPLAUSE